A Promise Kept
by dublin writer
Summary: This is a follow up sequel to my other story The Heart Is An Open Door which follows Steve's continuing health struggles after the episode Thrill Killers. Knowledge of that story would be beneficial to understand this one fully. It follows Mike's promise to attend Steve's Angiogram with him. Disclaimer:As always the characters do not belong to me and I make no profit from their use
1. Chapter 1

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 1

By the time Mike had locked up and headed for bed a sneak peek into the spare room saw Steve already crashed out asleep. He stayed watching Steve for several seconds as guilt filled him again. How could he have let it happen? He began to wonder what else Steve had suffered through alone these past four weeks while he had been so selfish. But not anymore. He would make it up to him no matter what. Tomorrow would be the start of his making amends and with that thought he pulled the door over softly before heading to bed himself. After the long day he had had sleep came easily and he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

The ringing alarm clock woke him up at seven am the next morning as Mike shot a hand out from under the covers to silence it. He yawned and stretched and surveyed the time on the clock with sleepy eyes. He had forgotten to ask Steve the previous night what time his appointment was at so he had decided to get up early just in case. Getting up and donning his dressing gown he padded out onto the landing and towards Steve's room. He hated to wake him but knew he was safer to check just in case. He paused at the closed over door and knocked gently, calling out as he did.

"Steve? Are you awake? "

He hadn't really expected an answer and thought that perhaps he would end up having to go in and rouse the sleeping young man as he had looked really exhausted the previous night but to his surprise a reply came immediately but the voice that answered sounded a little strained.

"Yeah Mike ... I'm ... awake."

Something about Steve's voice alarmed Mike so he pushed the door open slightly and saw Steve sitting on the edge of his bed, slightly bent forward, his right hand gripping the front of his chest. Mike felt a chill up his spine as fear gripped his heart and he raced in to where Steve was sitting.

"STEVE? What's the matter? Are you having those pains again?"

Steve seemed to be in some sort of discomfort and also seemed to sag slightly as Mike had raced in. He was breathing erratically and appeared to be struggling to form an answer. Mike began to panic.

"Hold on Steve! I'll ring the Hospital ..."

He turned to race out of the room but Steve's left hand grabbed his arm and stopped him as he finally managed to stammer a response.

"NO! ... It's ok Mike ... It's not the pains ... It's just ... the scar ..."

Mike turned and stood where Steve had stopped him for several seconds as Steve's words sunk in. He slowly came back and sat down on the bed beside Steve.

"The scar? ... What do you mean? Is it that sore?"

Steve's eyes closed momentarily and then he opened them and looked sideways at Mike.

"It's always sore after I wake up. I'm supposed to sleep on my back but I tend to move onto my side in my sleep and it hurts when I wake up. It will be ok in a little while."

"Have you tried an ice pack? It might ease the discomfort from the stitches."

"No that won't help Mike. It's a little deeper than that. "

Mike looked puzzled and Steve swallowed hard before explaining reluctantly.

"It's where they wired my breastbone back together after the surgery ... "

Mike felt his heart race at those words and he couldn't even begin to imagine how much discomfort the young man sitting beside him was in. He barely stammered the words from his lips.

"Wired? "

"Yeah, didn't you know that's what they use?"

"Well ... I guess I never thought about it really ..."

Steve could see the horror on Mike's face and it reminded him of how horrified he had been to hear those words from the Surgeon after his surgery. He tried to lighten the tension with humor.

"Yeah, guess I'm going to have a little trouble going through the metal detectors at the airport from now on, huh?"

The humor didn't work as Mike remained worryingly quiet

"Does it always hurt that bad EVERY morning? "

Steve nodded sadly feeling his emotions breaking a little.

"Mostly ... They say it will get better as it heals though ..."

Steve held his chest again at the persistent discomfort and hung his head wishing that Mike hadn't come in and found him in such a state.

The painful healing was really getting to him. It was the reason he hardly ever went to bed these days but had taken to sleeping upright in his armchair at home. It was the reason he always felt so tired and the reason he hadn't even dared to look at the scar for the last three weeks. He went every two to three days without fail to the outpatient's clinic to have the wound dressed but he always chose to look away. The last time he had seen it was when the worst of the black sutures had been removed a week after the surgery and the sight of the scar had had a bad effect on him. The red raw scar down the middle of his chest adorned by the black sutures and underlying stitches was horrifying. The mere sight of it that day had sent shivers down his spine and psychologically he had felt the pain even more pronounced as a result. He had felt nauseous and lightheaded. The deep pain he felt every day from his sternum was a constant morbid reminder to him of the catastrophic incident that had almost cost him his life and as such it always brought his spirits down and caused him psychological anguish as well as the physical torture.

The touch of Mike's hand on his shoulder brought him out of his own thoughts and he glanced furtively sideways at him. Mike was staring at him and there was a distinct sadness in the older man's eyes. Mike then spoke and his words came out almost in a tremor.

"You've really been through hell these last four weeks haven't you?"

Steve felt a lump build in his throat but he couldn't let Mike feel guilty so he swallowed hard and spoke bravely.

"I've managed ok Mike. It wasn't that bad. Besides ... I'm alive, right? "

He patted the hand that rested on his shoulder and forced a smile despite the burning still persisting deep in his chest.

"You shouldn't have had to go through all that alone. I should have been there for you Buddy boy. I'm truly sorry ... I guess I was so bent on finding the hostages and getting the kidnappers that I never stopped to think how bad you were suffering ... Forgive me Steve ..."

"Mike stop! There's nothing to forgive. Besides Jeannie was there and I knew you wanted to be but that you were busy ... And ... you're here now aren't you? The wound just ..."

Steve stopped mid sentence not sure if he wanted to continue but Mike cajoled him further.

"Just what Steve? "

" ... It just gets to me sometimes. I can handle it most of the time but some days it just seems to be taking forever to feel better ... you know?"

Mike nodded understandingly.

"I know. Maybe if you lie back down it might ease the pressure off it a bit and start to ease up?"

Steve nodded reluctantly and lay back down, wincing visibly as he did. Mike stood up and swung his legs back up on the bed and reaching down he pulled the blanket back up over him.

"What time is your appointment this morning?"

"I have to be there for nine."

"Good, that means we have plenty of time. Rest there for a while and I'll get us some breakfast."

"No Mike, nothing for me thanks. I have to fast for this procedure so I can't have anything. "

"What? Not even a cup of coffee?"

" No, they said just water ..."

"Well that's lousy. Still never mind. All the more reason to bring you for a slap up lunch to Mamma's afterwards eh?"

"Yeah ... " Steve answered less enthusiastically than he meant to.

He was NOT looking forward to this hospital procedure and couldn't see himself being able to eat anything after it but he didn't want to seem ungrateful or to dampen Mike's spirits any more than he already had so far this morning. Mike noted that the young man looked almost ashen in the face and was concerned by the amount of discomfort he appeared to be in.

"Are you due painkillers?"

Steve looked at his watch and then nodded.

"Yeah, near enough ..."

Mike reached over to the bedside locker and opening the small pill bottle, he took out two and handed them to Steve who lifted his head off the pillow just enough to throw them into his mouth and swallow them down with the glass of water that Mike held out for him. Then he lay back against the pillows again, utter discomfort written all over his pale face.

"You go and get something to eat Mike. Don't mind me. I'll be alright in a while and I'll follow you down, ok?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah absolutely. Go ahead ..."

"Ok, you rest easy Buddy boy and give them a chance to kick in and I'll be back up in a while. If you need me in the meantime just shout ok?"

Steve nodded gratefully and then closed his eyes, as he rode out the waves of pain pulsating through his sternum as Mike turned and left the room. Mike headed down the stairs and into the kitchen busying himself with putting the coffee on to percolate and popping bread into the toaster. But as he waited, his thoughts returned to Steve and he felt his emotions fray as he covered his mouth with his hand to stifle the sobs that threatened to be audible. As a tear fell from his eye he wished beyond hope that he had the power to take the young man's pain away completely or better yet to go back to that night and stop him from getting shot at all.

The toast popped and Mike wiped at his face. He wasn't feeling very hungry himself but felt that he had better eat something to keep his strength up for whatever was to come later on. Steve was going to need all the support he could give so for that reason alone he ate two pieces of toast washed down with coffee, strong and black. He had just finished them when he heard footfall on the stairs and getting up he went out of the kitchen in time to see Steve coming downstairs. He was dressed and ready but was moving perhaps a bit more carefully than he would have bounded down them before.

"Steve, you should have called me. Are you ok?" he said racing to the end of the stairs and reaching up to take Steve's arm to assist him.

"Mike, I'm alright. You don't have to help me walk. I have the use of my legs. Besides the pain is easier now, honestly. I'M FINE!"

Mike pulled back noting from Steve's tone that his fussing was not helping the young man but instead making him irritable and uneasy. Holding his hands up in mock surrender he teased.

"Ok, ok. Don't shoot me. I was only trying to help but if you're able to manage yourself well then that's fine."

Steve had at least the decency to look ashamed and quickly proffered an apology.

"I know you were and I'm sorry for snapping Mike. I guess I'm just a little on edge about this angiogram. I didn't mean to take your nose off but PLEASE don't fuss. If I need your help I promise you I'll ask for it, alright?"

"Ok, fair enough ... You ready to go?"

Steve inhaled deeply trying to still his jangled nerves and spoke honestly.

"About as ready as I'll ever be Mike."

Mike could not only see the apprehension visible behind Steve's pasted smile but could feel the nervous tension emanating from the young man as he grabbed his coat and hat from the coat hook and spoke reassuringly as he led the way down the front steps to the car.

"It will be fine Buddy boy. You'll see. It will be all behind you before you know it. Would it help if I let you drive?"

"No ... Thanks for the offer Mike but I think you had better drive. My hands aren't too steady this morning. Maybe they're trying to tell me something, huh?"

Mike stopped as they reached the car and looked across the roof at his former partner. It was extremely worrying and very rare for Steve not to want to drive and it was also a worrying indication of how anxious the young man was about the upcoming procedure. He suddenly hoped that Steve had been fully upfront with him about the possible complications and hadn't sugar coated them for his benefit. Steve noticed the stare and returned it.

"What?"

"Sounds like you're having a bad case of cold feet Buddy boy. "

"Yeah, full frostbite you could say. I'm starting to have my doubts about going through with this Mike."

Trying to rally him around and encourage him, Mike tried a humorous approach. Leaning on the roof of the car he smiled across at Steve and spoke lightheartedly.

"Look at it this way Steve. How many times in a man's life does he get an opportunity to see what his heart looks like from the inside, huh?"

Instead of a smile a renewed look of revulsion crossed Steve's face and he paled visibly.

"How many times would you want to and why? Besides ... I'm perfectly amenable to just knowing its beating away and doing its job without ever seeing it up close and personal thank you very much. "

Mike chuckled at Steve's observation and beckoned for him to get in as a distinct chilly sea breeze blew around them just then and sent a shiver down Mike's spine. With both men now in the vehicle, Mike took off towards Franklin General, the silence and the agitated fidgeting coming from the passenger seat becoming more apparent and palpable the nearer they got.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Promise Kept  
**

Chapter 2

They arrived at Franklin Hospital at around eight forty am and quickly parked the car and made their way to the Outpatient's Department where the receptionist at the desk had Steve's file ready and waiting and a while later as his name was called, Mike noted that he had to gently push the younger man towards the nurse who had called it out, as the young man seemed to freeze on the spot at the sound of his name. The nurse luckily picked up on Steve's anxiety even to the point of allowing Mike to accompany him in to see the Doctor. Mike took in the Doctor's appearance as he entered and couldn't remember meeting this particular man when Steve had been hospitalized after the shooting. He must have been the Cardiovascular surgeon that the Doctor he HAD spoken to had referred to on more than one occasion.

He was a tall, grey haired man in his late fifties who exuded an air of confidence and competence and Mike found himself feeling relieved that this Doctor was taking care of Steve. Introducing himself as Doctor Lowell to Mike he then turned to address his patient in an upbeat but questioning tone.

"You don't seem any more enamored about this procedure than you were when we spoke about it last Steve. I can assure you that it is a very routine procedure and it will help us get to the bottom of what's causing these bad pains of yours. "

"Is it really necessary Doc? " Steve asked in a last ditch attempt to avoid the inevitable and cringed inwardly when the Doctor answered in the affirmative.

"Right ... Let's get you ready. Have you been fasting since this morning as required?"

Steve felt an overwhelming urge to pretend to have forgotten about the fast and thus delay the procedure but before the words left his mouth Mike had confirmed that Steve's fast had been followed as per his instructions and so he had little choice but to accept his fate and threw one more anxious glance back at Mike before he was led off by the nurse to a cubicle to change into a hospital gown and get ready for the angiogram. Mike's own heart constricted at the depth of despair and nervousness that he had read in Steve's backward glance and as the young man disappeared through the curtains and he heard a muffled conversation taking place behind them he drew the Doctor to one side and aired his own fears.

"Doc? Forgive me for asking but ... this is a safe procedure for Steve, isn't it? ... What I mean to say is ... are you concerned about its outcome? Only he's been like a cat on a hot tin roof all morning and his nervousness has rubbed off on me too. Do you think the pains he's been having are serious?"

"Mr. Stone, any injury such as Steve sustained to the heart is serious and all heart surgeries can result in complications but the repair went better than we could have hoped for, all things considered and Steve has made a remarkable amount of progress over the last four weeks. I can't say for sure what's causing the new pain he's experiencing until I go in and take a look but I can assure you he will be monitored very closely throughout the angiogram and we will take all measures necessary to get him through it with the minimal amount of discomfort. Please try not to worry."

"Thanks Doc. I appreciate the reassurance but I think it's going to be harder to convince Steve in there. He's really nervous about this procedure."

Dr. Lowell smiled kindly.

"I could see that. Don't worry. I'll be giving him a sedative to relax him a little before the angiogram but I have a feeling that having you present at the procedure would have an even more calming effect on Steve. How do you feel about joining us in the theater Mr. Stone? Are you squeamish?"

Mike chuckled.

"No, I'm not squeamish. Actually I find the whole thing fascinating but I didn't think I'd be allowed stay with him."

"Well you'll have to gown up like the rest of us but we can make minor exceptions to those rules if we feel its for the patient's benefit which in this case I definitely think it will be. "

Mike smiled knowing that Steve would be comforted by the fact that Mike was allowed to be with him throughout the traumatic procedure and then saw the nurse exiting the cubicle and approaching the Doctor.

"He's just changing now Doctor. I'll just go and see if the theater is ready. "

"Very good Catherine. I'll just administer the sedative and then I'll go and get ready too. "

Then turning to Mike he spoke again, noticing that Mike was eyeing up the cubicle curtain with great concern etched on his face.

"While I'm preparing the sedative, you can go in and see how he's doing if you like?"

"Thanks Doc. And please ... you can call me Mike."

Mike approached the blue curtain cautiously and spoke in a raised tone.

"STEVE? You decent?"

Waiting for a response nervously he couldn't help but smile at the humorous response that came from the other side.

"I'm not sure my current attire qualifies as decent Mike ... but you can come in anyway."

Mike pulled the curtain aside and took in the sight of a very jittery and disgruntled Steve lying on the gurney dressed in a very thin green paper hospital gown that barely reached the middle of his thighs and with a matching surgical elasticated cap around his head, both his hands fussing with the paper gown, pulling it as far down as it would go in an attempt to save his blushes and keep his remaining shred of dignity intact. Mike suppressed the chuckle that threatened to escape knowing that under the current circumstances Steve would NOT appreciate him finding humor in the situation. Steve however caught the initial crease of the older man's mouth and spoke in response.

"Go ahead laugh. I don't blame you. I can just imagine what I must look like right now."

Hating to see the young man so ill at ease, Mike decided to try to distract him with humor.

"Oh I don't know. The hat definitely suits you. It brings out the green in your eyes ..."

Steve couldn't help but chuckle at Mike's humor but then quickly began fidgeting with the gown again and his mood took a more somber and annoyed tone again.

"I HATE these damn gowns. I bet whoever invented these infernal things never actually wore one. A paper napkin would cover more and they are so SCRATCHY!" he moaned as he itched and scratched at his thigh.

Mike reached out and quietened Steve's hand.

"Hey stop that. You'll have your skin red and if you keep pulling at that gown you're just going to tear it and it will cover even less. Now are you going to stop complaining long enough so that I can actually give you some good news Buddy boy?"

Steve zoned in immediately on the "good news" part of Mike's sentence, desperate for any thing that resembled good news right at that moment and he stopped fidgeting and gave Mike his undivided attention.

"I'm allowed come up with you and stay with you during the angiogram."

The first hint of a genuine smile crossed Steve's face and he stammered incredulously.

"Are you sure? ... Did ... they actually say that?"

"Yes. I even get to wear one of those trendy hospital outfits and one of those hats accessorized with a face mask most probably so you won't feel alone in your new fashion trend. "

Steve giggled and Mike could feel some of the previous palpable tension dissipate slightly at his imparted news.

"Besides ... Someone has to keep you from scratching at that gown and the medical staff are going to be too busy to worry about that so I guess that task falls on me, huh?"

"Yeah ..."

Steve's brief response came out sounding half amused and half unsure as he suddenly felt strangely emotional about the fact that Mike would be with him throughout the procedure. He was very relieved on the one hand but found himself worrying about what the impact would be on the older man if they found something seriously wrong with his heart or if something went dangerously wrong during the angiogram. Before he had a chance to voice his concerns, the curtain was pulled back and the Doctor appeared holding a syringe.

"Now Steve. I'm just going to give you something to relax you before we take you up. It's just a mild sedative so you won't be knocked out, just nice and sleepy and relaxed, ok?"

Steve nodded and felt himself tensing up as the Doctor prodded and poked at his right arm before the familiar scratch made itself known and the sedative was injected into his arm. Oddly Steve felt even more anxious at first, his abhorrence at needles adding to the anxiety but within a short time, he felt himself relaxing involuntarily as the sedative did its job. His breathing evened out and he marveled at how relaxed he felt despite his brain telling him that he should really be freaking out about now. He closed his eyes and took a moment to appreciate the warm, fuzzy feeling that washed over him as the sedative took a firm hold, especially as it was in sharp contrast to the keyed up muscles, shaky hands and knot filled stomach that he had suffered all morning since he had woken up in pain in Mike's spare room earlier. He sensed the touch of a gentle hand on his forehead and opening his eyes he saw it was Mike's and the face of his former partner was now leaned in close watching over him protectively.

"You feeling a little better now? " Mike asked as he spotted the slightly tell tale drug fueled glaze in Steve's green eyes as they opened to stare at him.

"Uh huh ..." Steve answered a little drowsily before closing his eyes again, the scratchy gown or his undignified appearance no longer of any great concern to him.

The next few minutes were filled with strange noises that echoed all around him. Numerous voices all talking at once, blending together and becoming quite unbearably noisy, Steve thought. He felt more needles poking his arm and strange VERY cold objects being placed on his chest at various places and stirred, opening his eyes to try to see whether he should be concerned or not but Mike was there as he opened them again, constantly reassuring him that everything was ok and saying something about heart monitors and necessary fluids being administered. Mike seemed to be keeping a close eye on what was going on and being done to him and was certainly more clued in than he was and so he felt safe in the knowledge that Mike was protecting him and decided in that instant that blissful sedation was the best place for him right then. He felt the gurney he was on starting to move and heard Mike's words in his left ear.

"You're just taking a little trip up to the theater now Steve. And don't worry about the gown. They have a blanket over you. We wouldn't want you catching cold now would we?"

Steve found himself smiling at the way Mike was preserving his dignity now that he had stopped caring about it and he risked another peek from under his eyelids and saw the florescent ceiling lights whizzing by over head. They made him feel strangely dizzy and so he closed his eyes again and listened instead, now feeling a strong hand grasping his left arm and without looking he knew it belonged to Mike and it was accompanied by the same familiar soothing voice.

"Just as well you have your eyes closed Buddy boy. We just passed a vending machine and I swear I saw one of those bags of sunflower seeds in it that you like so much. The temptation might have been too much for you."

Again a low giggle erupted from the patient on the trolley as his voice slurred.

"Save me a ... packet for later ... huh Mike?"

"You can have all the packets you want later Buddy boy."

There was a sharp jolt behind him and he heard the sound of squeaky hinges as the trolley was pushed through two doors and wheeled into the middle of the theater. Another frenzy started around him and he felt numerous hands poking and prodding at him and again marveled at the efficiency of the sedative that meant he couldn't care less. The sudden disappearance of the strong hold on his left arm however was a different matter and he shot his eyes open alarmingly and scanned the empty space on his left side. He couldn't see Mike but thankfully seconds later, Mike reappeared on his left side wearing a similar green colored medical attire, with the hat and facemask he had predicted and Steve smiled as he saw him.

"Now you can laugh at my expense wise guy" Mike joked as he picked up Steve's left hand and tightened it in a firm but reassuring grip.

Then Steve felt something heavy being placed on his abdomen and he gasped at the unexpected pressure.

"What's that ... on my stomach?"

"It's just a lead shield Steve. No need to worry. It just protects your internal organs from minimal radiation from the x-rays" the Doctor calmly explained as he pulled the instruments tray closer to him ready to begin the procedure.

"You should feel the weight of these lead aprons we have to wear Buddy boy. " Mike added, trying to distract Steve as best as he could from what he could see was about to take place.

Steve tensed slightly as his right arm was then stretched out and secured and this time the Doctor explained that it was necessary to keep the arm from moving during the procedure. Steve found himself staring at Mike almost wishing himself anywhere but where he was now and as Mike read his mind he squeezed the hand that he was holding and spoke humorously.

"Brings a whole new meaning to the long arm of the law doesn't it?"

Steve erupted into a giggle and slurred his words again.

"Oh Mike ... That was ... bad ..."

Mike laughed his infectious laugh, stifled behind the mask and as Steve joined in, the Doctor reprimanded them in a professional tone.

"Now, now you two. Less of the giggling please. I need him as still as possible Mr ... Ah, Mike ..."

Suitably admonished, Mike blushed slightly and grew serious again but Steve was still amused by Mike's earlier statement and snickered again, the hazy sedation making the giggles harder to rein in.

"Steve? " Mike spoke quietly but firmly as he watched the Doctor's annoyed eyes still watching him. " Ok, ok. Come on funny boy, you can quit the giggling now ... It wasn't that funny ..."

"Yeah ... yeah actually it was ..." Steve responded, finding it hard to stop chuckling.

Mike leaned in closer and spoke more seriously.

"Come on Steve. I'm not supposed to be making you laugh. If you don't stop you'll get me thrown out of here now."

That warning alone was enough to stop Steve's laughter instantly and he stared at Mike through drowsy eyes to try and ascertain if Mike was actually being serious about that threat. Seeing Mike's face deathly serious he controlled his giddiness purposefully, above all else not wanting to lose the only person he felt could make this horrendous procedure more bearable. Before Mike could say anything to reassure Steve as he saw the two panic filled eyes staring at him and knowing that any talk of Mike's departure from the theater would not be taken well by the young man on the gurney, the Doctor addressed Steve.

"Ok Steve. We're going to start now. First we're going to numb your wrist so we can insert the initial tube. You'll feel a little sting and then a tingly feeling and then the rest should be painless for you. You might feel a slight pressure up your arm as the catheter is moved towards the heart but it should only cause a very slight discomfort, nothing more. Are you ready for us to begin?"

Steve shot an anxious sideways glance back towards Mike and saw the older man wink at him encouragingly. Then as he saw a smile light up Mike's eyes, he heard his whispered words follow.

"You've got this Buddy boy ..."

Steve smiled back despite the fact that he didn't feel as confident about that fact inside and then he nodded at the Doctor to start.

The sting came. Then the tingly feeling that seemed to spread up his arm a little and then nothing. He saw the Doctor bring a sharp instrument towards his wrist and sucked in a breath and found a gloved hand on his right cheek gently pulling his face away to look back at Mike.

"You don't need to watch that part Steve. Why don't you look at me instead, ok ?"

Steve nodded, grateful for the intervention. He didn't feel anything but after several seconds passed he couldn't help asking.

"Have ... they started Mike?"

Mike glanced over. He had seen the Doctor cut and the subsequent blood flow and he felt beads of sweat appear on his own forehead as he did. Then a tube of some sort was inserted with great precision and now a thin tubing was being handed to the Doctor.

"Yes, it's going fine. They're going to insert the catheter now so hold nice and still. "

The sedative was still keeping him relaxed and for that the young man was grateful as his normal instinct at that moment would have been to tense up while he awaited the invasive procedure. He tuned his senses to feel for any sign of pressure on his right arm and after several seconds he felt it. Very little but there none the less. He felt it towards his shoulder and then it stopped for a while. He closed his eyes and tried to picture happier times in his mind's eye to stop the wavering emotions that were trying to bubble up inside him causing a lump to form at the back of his throat. He pictured the slopes of Lake Tahoe and the fresh, mountain breeze he relished as he skied down the slopes. A deep voice disturbed his thoughts and forced him back to the sterile room they were in.

"We're inserting the dye now that will show up the blood vessels Steve. You might feel a temporary warmth or flushing sensation and a little nauseous but it will only last a few seconds so don't worry."

A few seconds later and there it came. He felt a slight burning sensation across his chest and felt his face flush. The nausea followed. Just one wave of nausea that made him shudder. He tried not to panic but he felt suddenly overwhelmingly too hot and sick. He closed his eyes tight and held his breath and felt Mike's grip on his hand tighten and heard his voice.

"You're alright Steve. It will pass. Hold on now ..."

Thankfully the horrible sensation did pass fairly quickly as promised and he soon felt able to breathe properly again. The nausea passed too, much to Steve's relief. Then he heard Mike gasp and opened his eyes to see what had caused it and saw him staring behind him before he heard the Doctor's voice fill the room.

"Steve ... do you want to ... see your heart?"

He wanted to say no but curiosity got the better of him and so he looked slowly behind him and saw the screen off to his right. X-ray type images were being displayed on it and he could see his heart pumping the blood through his arteries, made visible thanks to the recently inserted dye. It was a surreal moment. Feeling his heart beating in time to the picture on the screen and knowing he was seeing what was going on beneath his own skin or in this case presently, the stitches. He felt compelled to ask his next question.

"Does ... everything seem ok Doc?"

"As far as I can see Steve ... Yes. Your heart is beating strong and steady and the blood flow visible is not being restricted. But we'll look from some different angles just to be sure.

As Steve studied the screen he noticed a darker looking patch in the center of the screen that seemed out of place and couldn't help asking for a second time in a somewhat shaky voice.

"What's ... that dark part on the screen?"

Even as the two words left his lips he felt strange as a distinct and palpable silence followed. He saw an uncertain look cross the Doctor's face and also noticed that he exchanged a strange glance with Mike before leaning slightly towards him and speaking in a strange subdued tone.

"Steve ... That's where we removed the bullet from ..."

 **A/N : I have researched the medical details for this story to the best of my ability but without being a cardiac surgeon or indeed having been to medical school of any kind there may be discrepancies or parts where I have used poetic license to fill in for my lack of knowledge. I apologize to any medically minded people who perhaps notice these but I do hope over all it does not take away from the story as it is presented for entertainment purposes only. As I said I have tried to research it and make it as accurate as possible and after trawling through pictures of open heart surgery scars on Google for the sake of realism in my story, I feel almost as disturbed as poor Steve about the whole thing!...LOL ... ;-)  
**

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	3. Chapter 3

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 3

Steve's head seemed to spin and his breath caught in his throat. From the silence he had expected that answer, but now that it came, he felt a little overwhelmed. The damaged area seemed more extensive than he had imagined. He had imagined a tiny hole that had been the bullet's path but the dark patch was larger than he imagined and in that instant he realized how lucky he was to be still breathing. Again he felt a tight squeeze of his hand and knew that Mike was picking up on his distress and also figured that Mike was probably shocked by the revelation as well. He wanted to face Mike and smile, or say something to show that he was alright but he couldn't drag his eyes from the screen. The bad memories returned full force until he wasn't looking at the screen anymore but at the barrel of Barbara Ross's gun. The force of the bullet. The numbness, the pain ... NO! He wasn't going to relive that again. He forced his mind back to the present and swallowed hard as he continued to survey the image on the screen. Dr. Lowell could see his patient's inner struggle and placed a gloved hand on Steve's shoulder that successfully drew the young man's attention.

"Steve ... It's only been four weeks since your operation. The repair we carried out is still healing. It won't always look like that. "

The Doctor's words took several seconds to sink in past the turmoil of worries and bad memories that were vying for Steve's attention but when they did, they brought little comfort. He hadn't fully realized how bad his injury had been.

"There was a lot of damage ... wasn't there?" he asked next, his voice breaking slightly.

"If you're asking me how close it went, then my answer is way too close. However you're healing very satisfactorily but listen to me Steve ..."

The Doctor paused for effect, making sure he had Steve's undivided attention before continuing. When he was sure he had, he finished.

"... That operation is over and done with. Don't dwell on it. Let's just concentrate on this procedure now ... ok?"

The Doctor's words made sense and Steve nodded in response not quite trusting his voice to answer. The Doctor then went on to explain that he would need to view Steve's heart from different angles in order to check all the main arteries, by moving the X-ray machine and that Steve needed to hold his breath a few times while the pictures were being taken. And so the next fifteen minutes dragged on as Steve's heart was viewed and a serious of X-ray images were taken from different angles. Steve did all that was asked of him but he was tiring rapidly. The sedative and the whole procedure was starting to take its toll and Mike could see the young man flagging slightly as Steve closed his weary eyes for a minute's respite while Dr. Lowell studied the various pictures they had taken. Leaning in closer Mike spoke quietly, his voice filled with concern.

"Steve? ... Are you ok? "

Steve merely nodded without opening his eyes and spoke wearily.

"Uh huh ... Just getting a little tired ..."

Mike looked up at the Doctor and was about to voice his concerns about Steve's condition but before he had a chance to say anything the Doctor spoke first.

"Ah! I think we've found what's been causing your pain Steve ..."

The Doctor's words caused Steve to open his eyes and while Mike was relieved to see Steve back with them, he saw an unmistakable panic in the young man's eyes as he turned his head to look at the Doctor. Dr. Lowell pointed to a picture on the machine and spoke in a professional tone.

"You've got a small piece of scar tissue Steve from your operation partially blocking one of the main arteries ... See here ... " he said pointing to the artery in question. "Now it's not blocking it fully and the blood is getting through but every now and then the blood is backing up and then forcing its way through and that's causing your pain so we need to clear it."

Steve felt lightheaded as he listened to the Doctor's words and wasn't sure if it was being caused by the sedative that was still effectively dulling his senses or if it was from the panic he couldn't help surfacing inside him. This is what he feared. Something terribly wrong and Mike witnessing it. He forced his voice to speak as he gripped Mike's hand tighter.

"Mike? ... Maybe you shouldn't be here for this ... Maybe you should go and wait outside, huh Mike?"

Instead of being hurt by the words, Mike knew Steve only too well. He knew the young man wasn't being hurtful but that he was only trying to spare Mike the angst of witnessing something going wrong and so he smiled behind the face mask, the smile reaching his clear blue eyes and he reassured the young man on the gurney.

"Now why don't you let me worry about whether I should be here for this or not, ok? I'm here today for you no matter what and we're going to face whatever's wrong together. Alright Buddy boy?"

"But Mike ..."

"Steve ... a herd of wild horses aren't going to make me leave this theater so you just save your energy, ok Hotshot?"

Despite his deep reservations, Steve couldn't help but smile and he nodded his head at the older man. Part of him was very glad that Mike was going to stay but still a part of him worried about what was going to happen. He wasn't sure in that moment if his voice would work, as he felt his throat constrict from the anxiety but he knew he had to ask the Doctor the dreaded question that he knew he didn't really want to hear the answer to.

"Does that mean ... you have to ... operate again?"

He almost couldn't finish the sentence as he wasn't sure how he would cope if the Doctor's answer was yes. The mere thought of them reopening the already agonizing stitches and pulling his breastbone apart again to perform more surgery was more than he felt he could bear. He was quite sure that if the Doctor said yes he would be unable to stop the floodgates from opening as he felt that he was barely containing his emotions as it were. He searched the Doctor's face and the mere seconds it took for the Doctor to answer felt like a lifetime to the young man waiting.

"No, that won't be necessary. As bad as it sounds I can actually reassure you that this is one of the best outcomes we could have hoped for. Seeing the size of the piece of scar tissue in question I am confident that I can remove it with the catheter that is already inserted so if you can bear with me for another few moments we'll have you right as rain. How does that sound Steve?"

Steve couldn't contain the sigh of relief that escaped his lips at the Doctor's response but he shuddered as well from the strain and the unnecessary worry he had just put himself through unnecessarily. Mike felt the tremor and spoke to the Doctor.

"Doctor, he's getting very tired. Is he up to further intervention right now?"

"Lieutenant, this will only take a few minutes more I can assure you and we'll keep a close eye on him throughout. He won't feel a thing and I think it more beneficial to fix the problem right now than put him through this procedure again unnecessarily."

The thoughts of having to go through this again was enough for Steve to plead his case with Mike.

"It's ok Mike, let him do it ... I'll be fine."

Mike had reservations. Steve looked exhausted and very pale and he knew the news of the partially blocked artery had taken its toll on him. Sometimes Steve's maddening bravado only made things worse and this Mike feared, was one of those times. Steve had been through so much over the last four weeks and Mike could sense that the young man was rapidly nearing the end of what he could cope with. However he knew that he had to trust the Doctor's judgement as the trained professional and if he thought it was a better idea to go ahead and get it over with now then Mike would have to go along with it. He listened as the Doctor spoke to his patient.

"Ok, Steve. Now you won't feel a thing. I just need you to lie still for me while we get the catheter in place and inject a little more dye. Just hang in there and it will all be over in just a few minutes. Ok, Steve?"

Steve nodded but then closed his eyes as another shudder racked his body. The Doctor noticed it, as did Mike and the older man exchanged a worried glance with the Doctor who proceeded to examine Steve once more carefully.

"Steve, are you feeling ok? Have you any pain in your chest or any other discomfort?"

Steve shook his head.

"No ... no pain. "

"Catherine? What are his stats?"

"Blood pressure holding steady Doctor. Pulse rate slightly below normal. Temperature is a little above normal."

The Doctor went quiet for several seconds before seeming to make his decision to proceed. Not delaying any further, Mike listened as he issued instructions for Steve's vitals to be monitored closely and for him to be informed of any changes however slight they might be.

Steve was feeling very lightheaded. He wondered if it was the effect of the sedative but he was also feeling very chilled. He felt the shudder rack his body and an annoying itch started to manifest itself along his right arm. He wanted to tell Mike or the Doctor but he struggled to open his eyes and couldn't make the words form. Something felt dreadfully wrong ...The voices and noises around him grew muffled and he strained to make out the words. He felt like the scene around him was fading out and felt blackness closing in around him as he then alarmingly found himself making a distinct effort to just breathe.

Mike had watched as the Doctor injected more dye into Steve's wrist and he watched as the Doctor very efficiently maneuvered the catheter into the appropriate place and watched as the piece of scar tissue was expertly removed and saw the blood flow improve on the image as it was. He found the whole procedure fascinating and marveled at how advanced medical procedures had become, in fact he was so engrossed at first that he hadn't noticed Steve's grip on his hand loosen. It was only when the scar tissue had been successfully removed and he looked down to tell Steve that the worst was over that he noticed Steve was unresponsive, breathing erratically and heard at the same time the nurse's panicked tone.

"DOCTOR! His pulse rate has weakened and his blood pressure has dropped. Breathing is labored. "

"Steve? It's Mike. Open your eyes for me. STEVE?"

The Doctor immediately took action and inspected Steve's right arm and saw a small flush of raised hives starting to break out up from the patient's wrist and quickly instructed the nurse to administer oxygen while he speedily prepared a syringe and injected the contents into Steve's upper arm. Mike looked on, feeling helpless as the nurse took his place and placed an oxygen mask over Steve's nose and mouth and the loud hiss of oxygen became audible as it was turned on.

"DOCTOR? What's happening? What's wrong with him?" Mike stammered unable to contain the blind panic that Steve's condition was causing him to feel.

"Its alright Mike. Nothing to be alarmed about. He's just having a delayed reaction to the contrast dye. It's fairly common. I've given him some epinephrine. He'll come around in a minute. I want you to come back closer and reassure him as he does. I just need to remove the catheter now, stem the bleeding and stitch the wound and we can get him down to Recovery and let him rest for a while. Catherine, how are his stats now?"

"His blood pressure is coming back up slowly, his breathing is becoming easier and his pulse is almost back to normal but his temperature is still slightly raised though Doctor."

"Ok ... we need to keep an eye on that closely. Keep me informed about it. He'll probably be a little chilled when he comes to. We'll need some extra blankets for him, please."

"Certainly Doctor ... " the nurse responded, rushing off to get some.

Mike watched as Steve began to stir again, a low moan escaping his lips. His eyes opened a fraction and he seemed to recognize Mike although he seemed a little confused. Mike leaned closer and placed a comforting gloved hand on the young man's forehead as he struggled to hear Steve's low slurred voice from beneath the mask covering his face

"Mike? What ... happened?"

"Take it easy now. Everything's alright. You just took a funny turn on us but you're ok again now." Mike reassured, despite the remnants of panic and fright still evident in his voice.

"Everything ... faded out Mike. I ... couldn't talk or ... open my eyes ..."

"It's alright now Steve. You just took aversion to the contrast dye we injected but we've sorted it out now. Just breathe nice and slowly for me and relax" Dr Lowell interjected.

Steve tried to move his right arm but then remembered that it was firmly secured and so he brought his left hand up to try to remove the mask that was now only irritating him and making him feel claustrophobic. Mike grabbed his hand to stop him.

"Hold on there Buddy boy. I don't think you're allowed remove that just yet ..."

Steve sighed and resigned himself to having the mask in place however he wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to endure this ongoing tortuous procedure so he spoke to Mike with a light tremor in his voice.

"Is it nearly ... over yet ... Mike?"

Mike looked over at the Doctor and saw him prepare to remove the catheter and then smiled down at Steve.

"Yes, they're almost done now."

Then the Doctor's voice once more joined the conversation.

"You've done really well Steve. Just hold your right arm nice and still now while I remove the catheter. You might feel a little pressure in your arm but nothing more. Everything went very well and we removed the scar tissue with no problem."

Steve turned his head to look to his right at just the wrong minute and saw the long, bloodied catheter emerging from the wound on his wrist and he felt sick and lightheaded at the sight. He quickly whipped his head back towards Mike and Mike saw the effect the sight had on him.

"Easy now. Don't look at that. Look at this pretty face instead, ok? But remember look at the eyes now. Not the nose." Mike joked and was comforted by the fact that a wry smile lit up Steve's face at the jest.

However, he noticed that Steve had started shivering violently.

"Steve? Are you cold?" Mike asked concerned at the icy cold of his hand as the nurse arrived back beside him with some heavy blankets.

"I feel a little shivery ... yeah ..." Steve admitted through chattering teeth.

Leaning down Mike spoke in a whisper so only Steve could hear.

"Well I'm not surprised, considering all they gave you to wear was a paper towel, huh?" Mike joked, reminding him of their conversation earlier on.

Again it raised a smile from the young man. Then between Mike and the nurse, they covered Steve in two warm blankets and Mike watched as the tube was fully removed, and a worrying amount of blood began to seep from the wrist wound. Mike was glad that Steve hadn't witnessed that. The Doctor placed pressure on the wound for at least fifteen minutes to stem the bleeding and then proceeded to stitch the wound closed. Mike made sure that Steve's eyes never drifted over that way but that wasn't hard as the the young man seemed to be totally spent and was breathing deeply through the mask, his eyes apparently fixed on the far wall to his left, seemingly content that his ordeal was nearing an end. The Doctor finished his needlework and then applied what looked like a pressure bandage on Steve's wrist and after several minutes more, after Mike had removed his heavy lead apron, much to his aching back's relief, Steve was ready to be transported out of the theater.

Dr. Lowell issued specific follow up instructions to the nurse and Mike listened attentively to them. Steve was to remain lying down for several hours with the right arm slightly elevated and under strict instructions that Steve was not to move it for at least three hours, to ensure the wrist had stopped bleeding. He was to be monitored very closely and a significant amount of IV fluids was to be administered to slowly flush out the contrast dye from his system. Doses of steroids and antihistamines were to be given as a precautionary measure after Steve's earlier allergic reaction and in the interim period he was to be kept warm and comfortable.

As the nurse removed Steve's oxygen mask and various wires and attachments ready for transportation, the doors to the theater opened and Mike recognized the Doctor that entered as the same Doctor that he had met after Steve's shooting initially. He had been the one who had told Mike about the bullet being in Steve's heart and he felt a strange sensation deep in his gut as the Doctor's face brought back unpleasant memories. Dr. Lowell was remaining in the theater to perform two more angiograms that were scheduled after Steve's and so he approached Steve's gurney as he saw the other Doctor enter. Steve was resting, not speaking and still shivering visibly and looking very drawn and tired. Dr. Lowell touched his patient's shoulder and spoke softly.

"Steve? Can you hear me? ..."

Steve's eyes drifted sideways to stare at Dr. Lowell but Mike could see that the young man was forcing them to stay open.

"Steve, you know Dr. Kramer here, don't you? He's going to be looking after you for the next few hours up in Recovery. Just take it nice and easy and rest and I will be up to see how you're getting on then, ok?"

"Ok ... "

Steve's response was slurred and strained, then he glanced briefly at the Doctor who was now at his side and then looked away again. Mike laid a protective hand on his shoulder as the gurney began to move. Steve felt lousy. He felt so cold and ached all over, the same type of feeling you get when you come down with the flu. The movement of the trolley made him feel nauseous and he dared not look at the overhead lights whizzing by as he had earlier, fearing the result would be the loss of whatever meager stomach contents he had. Instead he focused on Mike's green gown beside his head as the older man walked beside him. He found the color strangely calming. His eyelids felt so tired and heavy but he dared not close them. The turn he had taken back in the theater was still too raw and clear in his mind and the sensation of finding himself unable to speak or open his eyes while everything else had faded out had been a little bit too unnerving. No! Rest would have to wait until he was feeling better, he thought determinedly. As they exited into the corridor a cold blast of air blew over him and he shook visibly. He felt Mike's hand pull the warm blankets up around his neck and Dr. Kramer's voice followed.

"Sorry Steve, it's a little chilly out here in the corridor but don't worry, it's much warmer up in Recovery. We'll be up there in the next few minutes and we'll get you warmed up and more comfortable."


	4. Chapter 4

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 4

The promise of being brought somewhere warmer sounded good to Steve. At least it might stop his bout of shivering. He heard Mike's voice but it was very low and he couldn't make out what he said. Mike had leaned in closer to Dr. Kramer and was purposely whispering so that Steve wouldn't hear what he was asking.

"Dr. Kramer wasn't it? Should he be as cold as he is right now? I mean he doesn't look too good to me. "

In an equally subdued tone the Doctor answered him.

"Don't worry. It's quite common for the patient to be a little off after a procedure like that. That's why we need to keep an eye on him for a while in Recovery. As well as that he's had a reaction to the contrast dye, so he'll be feeling a little off color for a short while but we'll be putting him on IV fluids to flush the dye out of his system and giving him meds to counteract the reaction so he'll pick up in the next few hours, I can assure you."

Mike looked down at the shivering and despondent form of his former partner and didn't feel reassured. Soon they were at the doors of Recovery and the Doctor was buzzed in. As soon as the gurney entered and the doors closed behind them the waft of heat hit them. It was so noticeably warm that Mike gasped at the very sudden hike in temperature and fingered the neck of the surgical gown which suddenly felt stifling. Steve moved his head briefly to survey his surroundings. The Doctor noticed and smiled down at him.

"See? I told you Recovery was like the Tropics. You'll soon warm up in here. Now we've even got a nice corner picked for you out of the way and with a nice window view seeing as you're going to be here for a little while. "

Steve was wheeled into place and Mike moved back as the nurse was joined by two others who immediately started reconnecting drips and monitors. Mike marveled at how efficient they were at their job as Steve was set and wired up within five minutes. As the heart monitor began to beep in its normal pattern Steve frowned at it. The Doctor noticed.

"Sorry Steve, I know that can be annoying when you're trying to rest but it is necessary after your procedure I'm afraid. Hopefully we won't need to keep you on it for too long. Now if you'll excuse me for a few moments gentlemen I will leave you in these nurse's more than capable hands as I attend to a few other patients. I'll be back to you shortly. Rest now Steve. Sleep if you can and it will pass some of the time for you."

As he turned to leave Mike asked one last question.

"Sorry Doctor but how long does he have to stay here now?"

"At least six hours I'm afraid. And no moving that right arm Steve for at least three. Absolutely still, ok?"

The Doctor smiled again and left through the cubicle curtain and one by one the other nurses left too until only the one remained, the one who had been with them in the theater, still taking readings and writing on the young man's chart. She smiled at Mike and pointed at a chair to Steve's left side.

"You can sit beside him there if you wish. I'm nearly done here anyway."

"Aren't you staying?" Mike asked almost disappointed.

The nurse had been very kind to them both all morning and Mike had felt slightly more reassured by her constant presence beside him up in the theater. In light of Steve's earlier turn for the worst, however brief it had thankfully been, Mike was a little worried that it could happen again. Sensing his concern the kindly nurse spoke reassuringly.

"I'm afraid I have to head back and prepare Dr. Lowell's next angiogram patients but please don't worry Mr. Stone. There's really no need. He'll be in excellent hands up here. They'll be checking him frequently. And all Steve's monitors are being fed back to the nurse's station so if there's any change at all they'll be in to him immediately. In the meantime if you're concerned you can just call them in. "

She then turned to Steve who looked tired and miserable.

"Rest now Steve, ok? Do try to sleep. You'll feel the better for it. Have you warmed up yet?"

"Yeah ... I'm getting there ... Ah ... thanks for everything ..."

"You're welcome. You take it easy now. Dr. Lowell will be back to check on you later. "

The nurse took her leave of Mike and Steve and soon the two friends were left alone in the cubicle. Mike watched as Steve turned to look out the window. He had been very quiet since returning from the theater and Mike wished that he could see what the young man was thinking. He looked very pale and also very fed up. The constant hospital appointments and seemingly endless procedures he had been forced to endure over the last four weeks had definitely taken their toll on him. Trying to lighten the mood, Mike nudged the young man to draw his attention and when he succeeded as two tired looking, green eyes turned curiously in his direction, he spoke.

"Hey Buddy boy, you're supposed to be trying to sleep, remember?"

Steve frowned and seemed to gently rub at his chest almost subconsciously.

"I don't wanna sleep ..." he grumbled.

Mike eyed the young man up.

"You don't huh? Why not?"

Again Steve looked away and spoke very quietly, with a mix of frustration and agitation clearly audible in his voice. He was feeling achy and still a little nauseous although the warmth of his new surroundings had at the very least stopped his teeth from chattering.

"Because I'm not tired Mike, that's why ..."

Seeing the exhaustion and misery visibly etched on the young man's face Mike knew that Steve was not being totally honest and was fighting sleep for some other reason. Perhaps his scar was hurting again, Mike wondered. He knew Steve would never admit it though, especially not in here where the mere mention of something hurting would result in a flurry of medical attention that he knew Steve would detest. However he also knew that he would have to tell the nurses about Steve's troublesome scar at some stage before he was discharged for the young man's own good and that it would not go down well with Steve when he did. Deciding for now that a little humor was needed to cheer Steve up, he grinned as an idea presented itself to him.

"Alright ... Then you leave me no choice but to read you your rights. "

Whipping out his wallet and pulling out the small card, Mike held it away from him slightly and started to read in a loud voice much to Steve's utter astonishment.

"You have the right to remain silent ..."

With his right arm elevated and its movement restricted, Steve reached out with his left hand and swatted at the card and spoke in a horrified fashion.

"MIKE! Stop kidding around. Put that thing away."

Mike grinned even wider at Steve's reaction. His plan for distracting Steve was working like a charm. He feigned a look of innocence.

"But I told you. You left me no choice. You're breaking the law."

Lifting the card again he continued, watching Steve's amusing reaction to his prank all the time out of the corner of his eye.

"Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law ... "

Steve stared at Mike as if the older man had suddenly lost his mind and stammered again quickly.

"Mike, cut it out will ya?... What law? ... What's got into you?"

"Well you know what you're doing don't you?" Mike replied seriously.

"NO MIKE. I don't know what you're talking about!"

Putting down the card, Mike smiled and replied in a deadpan manner.

"Well you're resisting a rest Buddy Boy ..."

Mike slowly started to giggle as he watched Steve's facial expression change and then unable to hold it back any longer he laughed heartily.

Steve stared at Mike as the joke sunk in and he shook his head in disbelief, a genuine smile starting to spread over his pale face and he covered his face with his left hand as he realized that he had just been had, but as he spoke, Mike could hear the held back laughter clearly in his voice.

"Oh Mike! That was SO bad ... I can't believe you just said that ... For a minute there I thought you'd lost your mind ..."

Nudging the young man again playfully, Mike spoke between laughs.

"Oh come on. Come on now. It was good, admit it. I darn near had you fooled didn't I?"

"Resisting a rest ... " Steve repeated as he finally started to laugh too, holding his chest for fear the giggling would aggravate the already sore stitches. "Ok, ok ... it was pretty good. "

Both men laughed for several minutes and it did Mike good to hear Steve laugh and to see his spirits lifted even for a short time. As the laughter subsided, Mike took his opportunity.

"So tell me Steve? ... Why don't you want to sleep?"

He really hoped the question wouldn't undo the good work that went before and was relieved to see that Steve took the question ok and still smiled at the older man.

"I don't know ... I guess I'm a little worried about going to sleep after that procedure ... What if something happens again? Or something goes wrong? I feel lousy Mike ... "

Steve's smile faded slightly but before it could disappear completely, Mike smiled warmly and quickly piped up.

"Then I'd have every nurse and Doctor in this Department called in here and attending to you within seconds ..."

Steve's smile returned fully.

"You would too ... wouldn't you?"

"Absolutely ... "

Steve knew in that second that with Mike on hand to watch over him, he really had nothing to worry about and in that instant realized that he was actually feeling very tired.

"Alright, you win. I'll try to sleep."

"Good man. "

Mike pulled the covers up over Steve's chest and watched as the young man closed his eyes and tried to doze off but he frowned as seconds later Steve started to fidget a lot and knew he was finding it hard to settle.

"Sure wish I could move my arm Mike. It's starting to bother me." he grouched as he reached over and started itching at it in a determined fashion.

Mike quickly pulled Steve's arm back and admonished the young man in a teasing tone.

"Hey, hey. No scratching ... Leave it alone for now will you and just sleep ... "

"Yes, Mom ..." Steve replied sleepily, closing his eyes again and feeling his hair being ruffled in reply.

"Wiseguy ... " he heard Mike mutter lightheartedly before he finally drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 5

Mike stood looking out the window at the overcast sky. It was a dreary day in the city weather wise and Mike chuckled as he wondered was the weather emulating Steve's mood today. He glanced back again at the young man in the bed who had been sleeping now for just over two hours. He had slept fairly peacefully for the first hour and a half but over the last half hour he had become increasingly more agitated, groaning and fidgeting a good bit on and off and a couple of times Mike had to stop him scratching his afflicted arm in his sleep. He frowned as he realized how sore that arm was going to be soon when the local anesthesia wore off and he rubbed subconsciously at the muscles at the back of his neck. It had been one hell of a morning and from Steve's current restlessness, Mike didn't see it improving anytime soon this afternoon. Looking at his watch, he saw that it was just coming up to twenty to two.

He turned as he heard the heart monitor pick up a little and as he studied Steve for any visible change in his condition, the curtain pulled back and a nurse entered in somewhat of a hurry. Mike watched uneasily as she hurried to Steve's side and checked his bandaged arm for signs of bleeding, placed a hand on her patient's forehead and then started taking his pulse.

"Is something wrong?" Mike asked calmly, desperately trying to keep the panic he was feeling out of his voice as he followed the nurse back over to Steve's bed.

"His temperature is up a little more, his heart rate is a little fast and his blood pressure is fluctuating a little too. Has he been restless at all? "

"Yes, he's been fidgeting and groaning on and off but only over the last half hour. What's wrong with him?"

"It's probably nothing Mr. Stone. The anesthesia could be wearing off and he could be feeling a little pain from his arm. That would elevate his heart rate a little but the temperature is a little worrying. I think I'll page Dr. Lowell just to be on the safe side. Keep a close eye on him for me could you please and I'll be back in just a few moments."

"Sure ..." Mike answered feeling a little uneasy about these latest developments.

He took a seat in the chair again and sat and watched Steve closely. Without any warning the patient in the cubicle opposite Steve's suddenly let out an almighty roar of pain, startling Mike and waking Steve abruptly. As a second roar quickly followed, Steve seemed a little disoriented and started to sit up in panic.

"MIKE? ... What the hell was that?"

Mike placed a hand on Steve's shoulder to stop his ascent and made sure his right arm remained still as he moved quickly to reassure him.

"Now, now it's alright. It's just another patient that's all. Nothing to worry about ... Calm down now Steve."

Steve rubbed hard at his heavy eyelids with his left hand, trying to banish the drowsiness from them and shook his head trying to make sense of what was going on around him. He wasn't sure how long he had slept for and struggled to remember where he currently was. Was he still in Recovery? His head still felt a little dizzy and hot but to his relief the worst effect of the sedative seemed to have worn off while he had slept. His right wrist though was now throbbing in a painful rhythm and sending waves of discomfort up his arm but at least it didn't feel quite as itchy anymore. A third blood curdling yell broke the silence and Steve's heart monitor beeped faster.

"God Mike! What's wrong with him?... Is ... is there a nurse with him?"

Mike knew that Steve wasn't going to settle until he found out so he reluctantly stood up to go and see.

"Look, I'll go and see but I'm sure everything's fine Steve."

He left Steve's cubicle and peeked around the opposite curtain. The man in the bed seemed very distressed. Mike called out to the nurse at the station that had just been in with Steve but she was on the phone and didn't hear. There seemed to be another incident happening in a cubicle further down from them and he could hear a couple of nurses assisting that patient too. There were buzzers and alarms ringing out in a few different directions and Mike frowned as he thought that maybe this wasn't exactly the best place for Steve to be when he was supposed to be getting some sleep. The man in the cubicle beside him roared in pain again and then he heard Steve's panicked voice follow.

"Mike? What's happening? MIKE?"

Finally catching the earlier nurse's attention as she hung up the phone and gesturing to the cubicle where the man was in pain, he then hurried back into Steve. As he entered he saw Steve sitting up on the edge of the bed, swaying alarmingly, the arm that he was supposed to be keeping still, now across his chest and the heart monitor buzzing loudly as one pad had become detached in Steve's efforts to get up.

"STEVE? What do you think you're DOING? Lie back down in that bed RIGHT NOW! " Mike yelled as he raced forward and stopped Steve's progress, grabbing the young man's shoulders for fear he was going to topple forward onto the floor.

"MIKE? What's happening? I want to go home. I dont want to stay here."

Seeing how the overall disturbing noises in the Recovery room and the man's pain filled groans that were continuing in the cubicle opposite him, were unnerving Steve, and seeing how flaky he seemed to be after his sleep, Mike sought to calm him down.

"STEVE? It's alright. LISTEN TO ME NOW WILL YOU? You need to calm down. The nurse is attending to that man. Everything's alright except you need to lie back down. "

Still with a firm hand on Steve's shoulders, Mike managed to coax him to lie back down but as he went to put Steve's right arm back in the elevated position it was supposed to have remained in, he noticed the bloody stain that was now spreading across the young man's wrist. A mix of guilt for leaving him and allowing it to happen and anger for the young man's actions filled him and in the heat and anxiety of the moment, he spoke more harshly than he meant to.

"STEVE ... Now you have your wrist BLEEDING again! You were told not to MOVE IT."

Mike's sudden harsh words startled Steve and seemed to clear the young man's thoughts as he looked across at the blood soaked bandage that was now dripping red droplets onto the crisp white sheet of the bed.

"Oh God ... I'm ... sorry Mike ... I just ... I ..."

The subdued, unfinished reply and the sorrowful and hurt look that Steve gave him made him regret his harsh words immediately and he softened his tone while pressing on the site of the bleeding at the same time.

"Alright now ... It's ok ... I'm sorry for being cross with you ... I know it's unnerving to wake up from a deep sleep in a strange place to sounds like that ... "

Steve had his eyes closed now and was visibly wincing as Mike pressed on his wrist and his other hand was protectively clasped on his chest, just as it had been this morning when Mike had found him sitting on the edge of the bed back at De Haro Street. Mike wondered had he perhaps tweaked the scar again getting up. Reaching over he pressed the bell for the nurse and didn't have to wait long as the nurse from earlier came racing in around the curtain and spotting the bloodied wrist, she sprang into swift action.

"Oh dear Steve ... We haven't been keeping this arm still, have we? "

Mike saw Steve open one eye and scowl at her words amidst his pained expression and intervened on his behalf.

"It's my fault really. He woke up when he heard that poor man's yells and he wanted me to make sure he was ok. I only left him for a minute but I think he was just a little disoriented waking up. I shouldn't have left him ..."

"Never mind ... We'll get it sorted ... " the nurse said calmly as she reconnected the pad on Steve's chest that had fallen off and reset the heart monitor noticing as did Mike, how the beeping increased again audibly when it was reconnected, the green florescent line racing in fast patterns now across the screen. She then took over from Mike pressing on the wrist firmly.

She too noticed how pained Steve looked and saw a thin sheen of perspiration on his brow and while still attending to the wrist, she questioned him softly.

"Steve? ... Is your wrist starting to hurt? "

Steve merely nodded with eyes closed, as the pressure being placed on it hurt like hell and although he knew it was necessary he wished it would stop soon. Then noticing her patient's hand clasping his chest, the nurse spoke more anxiously.

"Are you having chest pains?"

Steve opened his eyes and realized that he was subconsciously holding the scar that he had inadvertently pulled slightly in his haste to get out of the bed minutes before and dropped his hand back to his side and quickly shook his head.

"No ..."

Mike felt that he needed to say something, knowing full well that Steve had no intention of doing so but he also knew that Steve would be annoyed with him if he did. He remained torn for several seconds before finally deciding that it had to be said.

"I think it's his scar. It's been bothering him and causing him a lot of pain lately. "

Steve's shocked expression said it all, as he glared at Mike in disbelief.

"MIKE! ..."

"Steve it HAD to be said. They need to know that something's not right with it."

Steve scowled and closed his eyes again, feeling that this day couldn't get any worse as his scar burned, his wrist throbbed, his head spun and Mike had just told the nurse about his chest scar pain.

"Steve? Is that true? " the nurse questioned seriously and Steve thought for a brief second about lying and saying that it wasn't, but a quick glance at Mike's glaring facial expression meant that he knew better than to risk it.

Reluctantly he nodded his head and inside his spirits fell as he knew the admission would ultimately mean more unwanted examinations and God knows what else he'd have to endure as a result.

"Yeah ... "

"You should have said something before this Steve." she scolded as she finally managed to get the bleeding back under control and carefully re-bandaged the wrist carefully.

Then she stood up and after more sternly given instructions to Steve NOT to move his arm again she headed from the cubicle addressing Mike as she passed him.

"I'm just going to see if Dr. Lowell is here yet. He's going to want to examine that chest scar when he gets here."

Mike glanced over at Steve and saw the annoyed look the young man was sending in his direction. As the nurse left, Mike moved closer to Steve and tried to make the young man see sense.

"Ok, ok I know you're mad at me for telling on you but you HAD to tell them Steve and I knew you had no intention of doing it ... Come on now ... It won't be that bad ... "

Steve rolled his eyes in disgust and looked away from the older man.

"Yeah right. It will be a walk in the park. You shouldn't have said anything Mike ..."

Mike could see how anxious the young man was about the prospect and for a split second regretted his decision but as he saw Steve's hand return to clasp his chest and heard a distinct, purposely stifled moan, he felt he HAD made the right call on this one. The sound of hurrying footsteps drew both men's attention to the curtain as it was pulled back and Dr. Lowell entered followed by the nurse and he hurried to Steve's side. His first port of call was the wrist which he picked up gently and studied. Seemingly satisfied that it was stable again and that the bleeding had stopped he put it back down and sat on the side of the bed next to his patient observing the heart monitor with a serious expression on his face. Even Mike noticed that the rhythm was faster than it should be and grew concerned at the Doctor's close scrutiny of it. The nurse then handed him Steve's charts and again he studied them closely, shaking his head every now and then as he did.

"Steve, your heart rate is a little fast and has been on and off since you came down to Recovery and your blood pressure is playing up a bit too ... Now it's normal for your vitals to be a little bit erratic after the angiogram but it's been almost three hours now since you came down and I would have expected them to start settling by now. On top of that you've got a raised temperature and now the Nurse tells me you've been having some trouble with the chest scar. How long has it been hurting you?"

Steve looked at the Doctor with a serious expression and then scowled sideways at Mike once more before answering.

"Since the original operation ... It's never really let up Doc ... But I thought you told me that was normal for there to be pain in the sternum for up to six weeks at least."

"Well it is normal for there be residual pain at the scar site especially from the sternum for anything up to six weeks after the op but four weeks on it should be starting to ease even a little. Have you been getting it dressed regularly like you were supposed to?"

Annoyed by the biting pain that was still emanating from the middle of his chest and combined with the Doctor's blatant insinuation, Steve's tone changed.

"YES I have ... Last one was three days ago actually. You can CHECK if you don't believe me ..."

"STEVE! " Mike scolded and Steve looked suitably embarrassed by his outburst, his cheeks turning an awkward shade of red.

Before anyone could reply, the nurse spoke, flicking through Steve's hospital file as she did.

"Yes Doctor, he's attended them all in the Outpatients Department and three days ago was the last one."

"Good. Sorry Steve, I didn't mean it to sound like you hadn't been but I also know you where your pain meds are concerned. Have you been taking those as prescribed?"

Both men in the cubicle noticed Steve's face flush a little redder and also noted the distinct hesitation in his answer.

"Mostly ..." came the almost stammered, expected reply as both men scowled at him at the same time.

"Steve, you know that MOSTLY isn't good enough. You need to take them to stay comfortable but ... right now we need to find out what's causing your temperature to be raised. Has your breathing been ok Steve? " Dr. Lowell continued to probe.

"Yeah ... I think so."

The Doctor decided to check his breathing anyway just to be on the safe side and raised the top of the bed until Steve was sitting up. Getting the nurse to hold up the afflicted wrist he then got Steve to bend forward and through the open back of the paper gown he listened to Steve's breathing through the stethoscope as he got Steve to take several deep breaths. The breathing was no problem as such for Steve but every deep inhale caused discomfort in his scar and even though he managed to disguise that fact admirably for three times in a row successfully, the fourth time caused a slight stitch and the Doctor caught the slight catch in Steve's breath.

Moving back to look at his patient the Doctor spoke seriously in a voice that demanded honest answers.

"What happened there Steve? Is your ... chest hurting when you inhale?"

"Yeah a little ... "

Mike who had been watching and heard Steve's bland response frowned and intervened.

"That probably means a lot Doctor knowing Steve as well as I do ..."

Steve looked across to frown at Mike again but he never got a chance to respond as the Doctor was now in full investigative mode and gently eased Steve back against the pillows and proceeded to lie him back down flat, lowering the bed as he did .

"I think you're probably right there Mike. Ok, let's take a look at the scar next Steve. Between the pain you're having and the raised temperature, I'm a little worried that maybe you're developing an infection in it. "

Steve's face fell and Mike saw the worried and panicked expression that appeared briefly on the young man's face before it was hidden expertly again under a blank and indifferent one.

The Doctor pulled down the covers and started to tear at the paper gown that was covering his chest but Steve's good hand stopped him briefly. He looked over at Mike and spoke dolefully, the earlier annoyance at Mike's betrayal now seemingly forgotten and his voice not quite as strong and clear as before as he struggled with emotions that were threatening to appear at the Doctor's concerns.

"Mike ... You might want to wait outside for this ... It's ... well ... it's not very ..."

Steve couldn't find the right words he needed to finish his sentence and seeing him struggling, Mike stepped forward and leaned in closer to Steve, his face looking down now right into the young man's on the bed, as at the same time he placed a gentle, reassuring hand on Steve's shoulder.

"Steve, seeing the scar won't bother me ... But if you'd rather I wait outside ... then I will. What's it to be, huh? Do you want me to stay or go? It's entirely up to you Buddy boy."

Steve found Mike's closer presence and question even harder to answer. Part of him didn't want anyone else to see his scar. Knowing how he felt about it himself he was slightly worried, despite Mike's reassurances, how the older man would react to seeing it and yet in some ways he had been extremely grateful for Mike's support throughout all the unpleasant things he had had to endure that morning and knew this scar exam would be more tolerable too with Mike there. The Doctor saw Steve's struggle to decide and intervened on the two friends' conversation.

"Steve? I think you'll find that the scar won't be as bad as you think. I know you were shocked when you first saw it but that was shortly after the operation. It will have healed considerably since then and the black sutures are out so there's only the underlying stitches left. You haven't looked at it since ... Have you?"

Steve turned his stare from Mike to the Doctor and his heart sank at the question. _Was it that obvious how repulsed he was by it? Was there any point in lying about it? Not really,he thought._ He looked away from them both and stared out the window at nothing in particular and heaved a loud sigh that caused the Doctor and Mike to exchange an anxious look between them. After several awkwardly tense seconds Steve shook his head and confessed.

"No ... no I ... I haven't " he reluctantly admitted.

He felt Mike squeeze his shoulder comfortingly and then he found his voice again.

"I'd like you to stay please Mike ..."

"Sure Buddy boy. That's fine ..."

The Doctor didn't waste any more time and started immediately exposing the crisp white padded dressing that covered most of the length of the scar. He then accepted a small medical scissors from the nurse and started to remove the dressing but stopped abruptly as the top part pulled a little and Steve jumped from the discomfort, grabbing a handful of the sheet beneath him at the horrific sensation it had caused.

"Sorry Steve ... "

The Doctor mumbled something back to the nurse and she quickly exited the cubicle to fetch something as the Doctor looked concerned. Steve watched the Doctor's facial expression and got a bad feeling.

"Doc? Is ... Is something wrong?"

 **A/N: Firstly I want to sincerely thank all those who have supported me since my return to the fandom after a few months absence both in the form of PMs, readership figures and reviews. I am so grateful to you all for your kind words, good wishes and support and for your kind words about this current story.**

 **But on another note I suddenly felt a strange and bizarre, inexplicable need to defend my position in posting my stories here at the fandom. I feel so blessed to be a part of this wonderful SOSF fandom and it is heart warming to see this series being kept alive by so many talented and passionate writers. I believe that each of us writers here have our own wonderful stories to tell, all unique to each other and that there is space here for every genre, every writer and every unique tale involving our favorite characters, with no exception.**

 **I realize that my stories always contain similar elements with Steve being made to suffer, Mike angst and comfort, just set in different situations and that for some readers perhaps this can become boring and repetitive and that's perfectly fine as they are not to everyone's taste and I fully respect that. It is the real reason I struggled to decide whether or not to return and continue to post my stories here but here's what fueled my decision to come back for better or worse for anyone interested.**

 **I enjoy writing these types of stories and in fact reading those types of stories myself so I figured that surely I couldn't be the only one and that some others around the globe must like them too and if only a handful of people read them and get the same enjoyment from them that I do then it is worth my while putting them on here. I realize that my stories are perhaps not as exciting, case based, intriguing, informative or as technical as some of the wonderful ongoing stories here at present that I am also really enjoying reading but I think that's ok. As writers and individuals we all have our own unique voice. It makes for variety and choice in a fandom and I feel that's a very healthy thing. Perhaps I will step out of my comfort zone and try a more elaborate story someday and surprise everyone but for now a Dublin writer story is what it is says in the summary, hurt, comfort and angst in its purest form and a chance to explore the depth of the characters of Mike and Steve and to simply keep them alive in our hearts and minds ...** **If I can simply accomplish that then I feel my place here is worthwhile ... :-)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 6

The Doctor smiled reassuringly not wanting to alarm his patient any further and cause his heart rate to increase any more.

"Relax Steve. The dressing is just sticking for some reason, that's all. We're going to need to wet it to fully remove it without causing you unnecessary discomfort."

The Doctor's words however only served to make Steve feel even more anxious.

"Sticking? Well what ... what would cause that? I mean ... It hasn't done that before ..."

The Doctor could see Steve getting more agitated by the second and despaired about being able to keep him calm but there was no way to explain the sticking without giving away what his feeling about it was.

"There could be some discharge from the wound but let's not panic yet and just wait and see, ok Steve?"

Steve nodded agreeably but the mention of discharge made his heart monitor pick up again and that fact wasn't lost on either man in the room. The nurse returned with a steel bowl of warm water and soon the Doctor was peeling the now damp dressing more easily back from the wound. Steve lay staring intently at Mike, carefully watching his reaction to seeing the scar for the first time but Mike was well aware he was being watched and made sure not to let any shock or upset register on his face. Instead he smiled at Steve and spoke sincerely.

"The Doc's right Steve. It's really not that bad. Why don't you take a look for yourself?"

 _Of all the things he had to ask him to do!_ Steve thought to himself but not wanting to seem overly squeamish in front of Mike and the others present he risked an anxious downwards glance at his chest. He saw the relatively straight line extend from his breastbone down towards his stomach and the light colored stitches that were still in place and resisted the urge to shudder. The Doctor was right in that it didn't look as pronounced and raw looking as it had the last time he had seen it but it still made him feel sick to his stomach and gave him chills seeing it. He nodded as bravely as he could at Mike to agree with him but Mike noted that Steve had only glanced at it briefly and the fast heart rate on the heart monitor and the notably heavy breathing gave his true feelings away. But before Mike had a chance to say anything else the Doctor spoke more urgently, as he examined the scar carefully.

"Steve? Has the pain been getting worse the last few days, since you had it dressed last?"

Steve returned to look in the Doctor's direction and seemed to think about the question. _Had it been any worse? It was hard to tell. It certainly hadn't eased any but ... now that he had mentioned it, the really bad pain that had started taking this breath away in the morning WAS fairly recent. Why hadn't he noticed that before? Had the pain become so routine now that it all seemed equally bad and unbearable?_

Mike noticed that Steve wasn't answering and seemed lost in his thoughts and nudged him gently, bringing him out of his trance as he did. Staring at Mike blankly at first, Steve soon remembered that the doctor was waiting for an answer. He flustered for a second or two and cleared his throat.

"Ah ... yeah ... It has been a little more painful at times ... the last few days ... Why?"

"Can you show me with your hand Steve where the worst of the pain is?"

Steve swallowed hard and then concentrated on where the scar was hurting him the most. Then he reached out and gently touched the spot which caused the Doctor to lean over and examine that part more closely. As he probed the sore spot, a terrible jolt of pain vibrated through Steve's chest and he gasped audibly, closing his eyes and trying to regain his breath as he did.

Mike startled at Steve's reaction and looked questioningly at the Doctor who frowned in his direction.

"Yes ... there's redness right in that part of the scar Steve. I think you have an infection starting but I think we've caught it early so there's no need to worry. I am going to have to snip those few stitches to see how deep the infection is though ... "

Steve felt lightheaded again on hearing the Doctor's words and he covered his face with his good hand, not quite believing his current run of bad luck. The misery seemed to be unending and he was struggling with how much more he could cope with. Mike and the Doctor were equally concerned with the young man's emotional and psychological state as well as his physical one and the Doctor was the first to try and ease the young man's mind.

"Steve you mustn't worry now, it won't hurt much. I promise. We'll clean it out and get you started on some antibiotics and we'll have you right as rain before you know it. As far as I can see, the rest of the scar is clear so we've caught it in time. Mind you, you are lucky that Mike here told us. If he hadn't and you hadn't decided to tell us, this could have become a lot more nasty and dangerous. "

Dr. Lowell's words brought some comfort to Mike who now didn't feel so bad for telling on the younger man. He had been right to trust his gut instincts. They rarely failed him. He squeezed Steve's shoulder once more and when Steve glanced at him, he sent an "I told you so" look firmly in the young man's direction.

The Doctor stood up and left Steve for a few moments to speak to the nurse. He stood at the end of Steve's bed jotting more notes onto Steve's chart and issuing more instructions to the nurse for what he would need to clean out the wound and for what antibiotics she would need to administer considering Steve's penicillin allergy. Then he turned to look at Steve again. He had more bad news to impart and worried that his patient was not in the right frame of mind to hear it. He contemplated administering another mild sedative to calm him first but knew that would not be received well by his patient either so taking a deep breath he decided to just get it over with as quickly as possible, suddenly feeling even more grateful for Mike's presence as he felt that he was going to need Mike's help to calm the young man down after his news had been given. After the delicate procedure that he had just undergone, Dr. Lowell could not allow Steve's heart rate to increase much further without intervention.

"Steve ... there is something else important that we need to discuss."

Steve's stomach felt strange at the Doctor's words. He had a very sinking feeling that things were about to get worse and he felt he wasn't ready to deal with any more bad news just yet but unfortunately the Doctor wasn't giving him the time he needed to regroup his thoughts and steel himself for what was yet to come.

"Steve, before we discuss it I need to point out that your heart rate is still quite fast and I need you to listen calmly to what I have to say. Please try not to get worked up because if your heart rate gets any faster I'll have no choice but to give you another mild sedative to relax you. "

Now Steve felt even more ill at ease. _What in God's name was coming next that he was supposed to try and not get upset about? Did the man not realize that just saying that was raising his blood pressure already as he spoke?_

"Steve, your vital signs are not settling yet and your temperature is raised and we have the infection to clear now as well ... Look I know this is not what you want to hear but I'm afraid I'm going to have to keep you in for a few days, preferably up in a room in CCU where you can be monitored closely."

Mike's face fell as he heard what the Doctor had to say and he quickly glanced at Steve knowing how devastating that news was going to be on him. To his dismay Steve was just staring in shock at the Doctor, his words failing him. He seemed confused and stammered in a tone that was heart-wrenching.

" A few days? You mean overnight and out tomorrow? "

Seeing his patient react badly to the suggestion and taking it so hard the Doctor came back around and sat back down on the bed, noting that Steve's eyes didn't leave him all the while.

"No Steve. I mean for a few days ... Possibly until next Wednesday at the earliest ..."

Steve's jaw dropped further and he started to shake his head determinedly.

"NO ... No I can't do that. I can stay overnight ... but I'm starting my new job on Monday. I can't NOT start. I've put them off already. I HAVE to start Monday. "

Seeing the Doctor's serious expression and knowing that his heartfelt pleas were not being listened to, he turned to look up at Mike pleadingly.

"Mike? Mike, tell him will ya? Tell him I have to start Monday ... PLEASE?"

Mike's heart sank as he heard Steve's tortured pleas. He had to make him see that everything would work out alright but how? Leaning in, he placed what he hoped would be a calming hand on the young man's arm and spoke firmly.

"Steve, calm down. Everything will be alright. The Department Head will understand. There won't be a problem, I promise you ..."

But there was no consoling Steve as he pulled away from Mike's hand.

"NO! No, he won't understand. He'll replace me Mike. I can't stay in the Hospital. "

The green line on the heart monitor was now racing across the screen alarmingly and beeping faster and Dr. Lowell spoke in a louder and firmer voice, his worst fears coming true that Steve was not handling the news well despite all he had said.

"STEVE? You mustn't get worked up. You've had a delicate heart procedure done today and your vital signs are already struggling to recover from it. As Mike said , they'll understand. I can give you a medical note for them. You won't be fit enough to start work by Monday. After the procedure today and until we can get the infection cleared you are going to have to take things easy and get plenty of rest. Everything will work out. You need to take deep, slow breaths and calm yourself down now."

"Calm myself DOWN? " Steve practically shouted in disbelief. " How the HELL am I supposed to do that when you're telling me everything's going wrong? Mike .. I ... I can't lose this job ... It's ... It's all I have left!"

Steve rubbed his hand over his face in utter despair and Mike swallowed hard as the heartfelt words rang in his ears, growing more concerned by the amount of angst that had been in Steve's voice. He had to calm Steve down somehow as he saw the Doctor's expression turn serious watching the heart monitor and saw him whispering something to the nurse and watched her leave the cubicle in a hurry. He grabbed Steve's arm tighter to get his attention.

"STEVE? Listen to me will you? Everything's NOT going wrong. I know it feels to you like it is but this is just a little bump in the road that's all. Now you need to do as the Doc says and try to relax . Do you hear me? You need to get your health sorted first and foremost and getting all worked up is not going to get you out of here any faster."

But Steve was beyond consolation. It was the worst possible outcome for Steve. He had been looking forward to starting his new job all week. It had been the only thing that had gotten him through a particularly difficult week. With Mike so engrossed in work as he had been and effectively avoiding him, he had grown so used to Jeannie's almost constant companionship over the previous three weeks and when she had returned to Arizona last weekend he had been surprised how much he had mourned her loss. He had really missed her company and their many varied conversations which had taken his mind off his pain and misery and the lengths she had gone to, to make sure he had eaten well and slept ok. Everything had seemed easier when she had been around and he had endured a more miserable and never ending week without her. The days had seemed endless and the pain he was in unbearable. There were no distractions, just reminders of all he had lost and the new job had been the last tangible thing he had left to focus on. Now even that was being placed in jeopardy and he couldn't rein in the despair and overwhelming desperation he was feeling as his body ached and his heart raced.

"AREN'T YOU LISTENING MICHAEL? IT'S ALL HANGING OUT. A LITTLE THING CALLED MY LIFE! ..." he yelled and immediately regretted his outburst as his head felt light and he struggled to breathe.

He took several painful gasps for breath and the dizziness became overwhelming as he sank back against the pillows and panic gripped him as the voices around him muffled into insignificance in his dire need to draw oxygen into his lungs.

After Steve's rant, the alarm on his heart monitor started to ring loudly as his heart rate reached a dangerous level and the Doctor saw Steve beginning to breathe way too fast. Mike stood in shock beside Steve feeling utterly helpless as the Doctor stood up fast and sprung into action.

"He's hyperventilating ... NURSE?" he called as he raced beside Steve and started trying to encourage his patient to take slower breaths.

The nurse arrived promptly holding a filled syringe that Mike assumed was the sedative that Dr. Lowell had threatened him with earlier if he didn't remain calm as requested.

As the nurse took over encouraging Steve to take slower breaths, Dr. Lowell began administering the syringe into Steve's right arm without delay. As Steve's breathing started to slow down a little, he saw the Doctor administer the needle and tried to protest but his breathing was not stable enough to do so yet so his pained "NO! " came out as a breathless plea as he tried to move his arm away from the offending needle. _He didn't want another sedative, DAMN IT! He had just managed to shake off the woozy effects of the last one. Why couldn't they just leave him alone! He didn't want any more drugs. He was tired of them and the constant cloud of mush they left hanging over his brain._

"Mike, hold his arm still for me ..." the Doctor pleaded and although Mike could clearly see Steve's annoyance at the intervention and despite the overwhelming feeling that he was betraying the young man by his actions, he gripped Steve's arm as requested and allowed the Doctor to finish his task.

Steve was not thinking straight or responding to reason and Mike knew the sedative would have the desired effect to at least calm him down and give him a chance to process the news he had been given while hopefully stabilizing his condition at the same time. Steve continued to thrash and try to stop the sedative being given until he felt Mike's strong grip holding his arm down assisting the Doctor and he gave up his struggle.

 _Couldn't Mike see he didn't want another sedative? Why was he not understanding how important it was to him to start his new job on time and why was he working against him?_ The painful questions swirling around his tired brain become too much and the misery threatened to drown him. He was trying to keep his breathing steady as the nurse was telling him to but he felt emotions catch in his throat that refused to be swallowed back. They were hampering his efforts to breathe and he closed his eyes and gave in to the racking despair that had been four weeks in the making. His breath was now coming in sorrowful heaves and he felt a gentle hand on his forehead and heard three different voices that seemed to blend together in his head..

"Alright , keep breathing in slowly now. That's it. You're doing fine, just fine."

"Steve? Can you hear me? I'm sorry, really I am ... Steve?"

"Let the sedative do its job Steve. You'll feel more relaxed and easy soon. You need to rest. Everything will be alright. You'll see. We'll have you back on your feet in no time at all."

From out of the mixed voices Steve struggled to separate the one voice he badly needed to hear. He wasn't sure how much time had passed but as he finally felt his breathing settle into a more easy rhythm and at the same time felt the sedative kick in, dulling the pain and his senses and slowing his heart rate right down, the other two voices seemed to fade until the hand that remained on his forehead, moved in soothing strokes up and down and the voice he recognized came to his ears.

"That's it Buddy boy ... You must rest now ... I'm right here just like I promised I would be. You have to stop worrying about everything and trying to be strong on your own ... Things are going to be just fine ... You'll see ... Try to sleep now ... I'm sorry it's come to this Buddy Boy ... I'm so ... so sorry ..."

Steve strained to listen and heard the distinct breaks in the older man's voice. A clear tone of upset framed the words and he wanted to tell him that he was sorry too for causing it but his voice refused to work and his lips refused to move in any coordinated fashion. Even his good hand lay motionless and he couldn't will it to move. So he was forced to just lie there helplessly listening to the heaving breaths of his former partner and feeling the slight tremor that was in the hand that stroked his forehead

Steve wasn't sure if it was the drug fueled fog that had settled on his brain or the soothing movement on his forehead or the sound of the voice he trusted above all others or the combination of all three but he felt strangely calmer and more at ease and feeling unable to hear Mike's upset any longer he welcomed the sleep that beckoned him as the darkness finally won and pulled him under.


	7. Chapter 7

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 7

The nurse entered the cubicle and smiled as she saw the older man dozing in the bedside chair beside her patient's bed. His chair had been pulled in as close as it could be and his hand was resting even in sleep on the young man's shoulder. His elbow rested on the arm of the chair with his other hand tucked in under his left cheek and his head had dropped down onto his chest. Since Steve's scary panic attack two hours earlier the older man had refused to leave his side. She had tried to encourage him to go and eat something, reassuring him that Steve would now sleep for quite a while and that his heart rate had returned to more or less normal and was not causing any great concern for the time being thanks to the helping effect of the sedative that had been administered but Mike had merely smiled and expressed his lack of hunger and his desire to keep a close eye on him all the same. She had brought him a sandwich and a coffee instead and was pleased to see the mostly eaten sandwich on the plate and the drained coffee mug on the bedside locker beside him. She had noticed and heard his distress as he had calmed the young man to sleep earlier and had been touched by the depth of affection she could clearly see that he held for the young man in her care.

She came to the opposite side of Steve's bed and pushing the edge of the paper gown to one side, she placed the thermometer carefully under Steve's arm. Then she checked the various drips and cannulas and inspected the well wrapped wrist also. After a few minutes she removed the thermometer and frowned as she read the result before writing it into the young man's chart. She took his pulse then and checked his blood pressure and was just writing in those readings as Mike startled awake and saw her. She smiled at him and he returned the smile.

"I guess ... I must have fallen asleep ... I think it's the heat in here." he explained covering his mouth as he then yawned sleepily.

"Yes, it is draining in here in this heat but it's necessary to keep the patients warm after surgeries and procedures. Besides ... It looked like you needed those forty winks." she added warmly.

Mike took a quick glance at Steve and then looked back at the nurse.

"Speaking of patients, how is he doing, nurse?"

"Well, his heart rate and blood pressure are doing fine but his temperature is up a little again. The infection seems to be taking hold but hopefully the antibiotics will start to make a difference by tomorrow morning and Dr. Lowell is due back soon to clean out the wound."

Mike leaned over and placed the back of his hand against Steve's forehead.

"He feels very warm alright ... Mind you the temperature in here probably isn't doing him any favors either."

"True ... But we have been promised a room for him up in CCU soon so we'll get him moved up there as soon as word comes through. Try not to worry. "

She smiled reassuringly at the older man again before closing the chart and exiting the cubicle. Mike checked his watch and saw that it was coming up to a quarter past four in the afternoon. He stood up to stretch his legs and walked to the window. The dull morning had turned nasty and it was now spilling rain. He stood and watched the rain run in rivulets down the window pane and then glanced back at Steve. The young man was looking very flushed in the face, a stark contrast to the pallor of the rest of his skin and a thin sheen of perspiration was visible on his brow due to the raised temperature. His stillness was almost too disturbing for words and he quickly looked back towards the window as the guilt for having allowed and assisted the Doctor to sedate him resurfaced. He knew in his heart that it had been necessary at the time but he also knew how much Steve hated the way the sedatives and strong drugs made him feel and hoped that he wouldn't be sore at him for aiding and abetting in his being medicated when the young man finally came back around. He remembered the look of confusion and hurt Steve had exchanged with him as he had held down his arm for the Doctor and the way he had stopped struggling when he noticed that even Mike was seemingly working against him.

As he watched the rain hammering down outside he thought back on all the things Steve had said as he had become agitated and distressed. " _I cant lose that job Mike ... It's all I have left ..."_ Was that really how he felt? He had sounded so lost and alone and Mike couldn't blame him for feeling that way. He had let Steve down badly over the last four weeks but he had to make him see that he would still remain a big part of his life even now that their paths were heading in different directions. He had to make him see that he wasn't alone and never would be as long as Mike had a breath left in his body. As he stood consumed by his own thoughts and sadness, by the window, Mike saw a fire engine down below on the street speeding with its siren flashing and wailing. " _Some part of San Francisco is always burning"_ he thought to himself and instantly smiled as he remembered the case they had once shared with his good friend Jack O'Moore.

For some strange reason he remembered in particular the part of the case where Steve had gone into the burning warehouse after the arsonist and he had found him chest deep in heavy stacks of paper unable to get out while the building burned around him. He remembered the tightness in his own chest as he had searched for the young man and also remembered the desperate shouts of Steve as he had called for Mike to find him and help get him out of there. He remembered the frustration Steve had felt at losing his suspect but more than that he remembered the worry he had felt as Steve had fallen to his knees upon exiting the warehouse, coughing and choking from the effects of inhaling the smoke from inside. Jacko had been quick to join them and administer much needed oxygen to his partner and he remembered being grateful that Steve had not suffered a worse fate that day and the guilt he had felt at letting him go into the burning warehouse after the suspect by himself. That memory served as a catalyst and soon Mike was recalling all the times over his partnership with Steve when he had seen the young man getting shot and injured in the line of duty, most times due to the young man's selfless actions in protecting others. It led his memory right up to the night that had almost ended the young man's life.

He remembered all too vividly arriving on the scene and seeing Steve lying prone on the pavement with Dan's bloodied hands trying to stem the bleeding from Steve's chest. For some reason he remembered clearly the distinct tremor that had been in Dan's voice as he had told him how bad it looked and the journey to Franklin Hospital in the back of the car, holding Steve and willing him not to quit on him. Mike looked down at his hands, clean and trembling and still could see the blood that adorned them that night in his mind's eye and as long as he lived he would never forget the bitter cold that emanated from his partner that night as his life threatened to ebb away. He remembered the harrowing wait for news, the twenty minutes he had spent in the restroom at the hospital desperately trying to wash Steve's blood off his hands and the memory of Dr. Kramer informing him that Steve had been shot IN the heart. The rain now running down the window mirrored the tears that fell down Mike's cheeks as he stood recalling how they had come to this day and the way their two lives had been changed forever as a result of that single moment, four weeks ago when Barbara Ross had pulled that trigger.

The curtain being pulled back startled him as he rubbed at his face quickly with both hands to wipe away all trace of his distress before turning to see Dr. Lowell entering with a tray of medical supplies in his hand. If the Doctor noticed Mike's moment of weakness he was polite enough not to speak of it and instead spoke in a reassuring tone as he approached Steve's bed.

"Well, he's doing a lot better Mike. His vitals signs seem to be recovering nicely. They just took a bit longer to settle down after the procedure than we expected them to and the rest he's getting has helped. I would imagine he hasn't been sleeping great with his chest hurting as it has been. Has he always been that stubborn about telling people when he's in pain?"

An exasperated smile crossed Mike's face at the Doctor's question which looked a little out of place in contrast to the slightly red rimmed eyes.

"Oh yes Doc ... You have NO idea ..."

Dr. Lowell smiled wider and continued.

" Well, we just need to get a handle on the infection now and get his temperature to come back down and he'll be back on the road to recovery in no time at all. I need to clean out the wound now and then we'll be transferring him upstairs to a nice quiet and comfortable room in CCU."

"Doc? What if he gets ... well upset again when he wakes up? Won't that send his heart rate soaring again?"

"No, I don't think so. The heart rate can get a little out of sync after the procedure we performed today. It can take several hours to settle down which is why he had to be monitored so closely after it. He needed to rest in order to allow the heart to fully recover but he wasn't fully resting and that combined with being upset about having to stay in is what I think caused the episode but ... the sedative has forced him to rest now and the heart rate has finally settled. While we need to ensure that he doesn't get too worked up anymore, even if he does at this stage I don't think it will have the same disastrous results. By the way ... Thanks for your help earlier. I could see that you weren't entirely comfortable with me sedating him but his heart rate had reached a dangerous level so I can assure you it WAS necessary and for his own good."

Mike nodded and shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh I don't doubt that ... it's just that ... well I'm usually the one helping him get discharged out of hospital rather than the one ... holding him down like that. Will cleaning that wound now wake him up?"

"Possibly ... although it shouldn't cause him any pain. He's on a very strong concoction of pain reliever, sedative and antibiotics at the minute but he may feel a mild discomfort. It really depends on how deeply under he still is. But we need to get it cleaned out, and the sooner the better so we can get his temperature back under control."

Mike nodded and watched as the Doctor set to work, soon joined by the nurse who assisted him. Mike sat back down in the chair beside the bed so he had a good vantage point to see what the Doctor was doing and to keep an eye on Steve at the same time. Mike watched as the Doctor once more exposed the scar and found himself subconsciously holding his breath as he watched the Doctor snip a couple of stitches. Steve let out a sudden low moan as the stitches were snipped and Mike placed a soothing gentle hand on Steve' s clammy forehead, as he spoke reassuringly.

"Shush now Buddy boy ... It's ok. The Doctor is just cleaning your wound. That's all."

As Steve's senses started to slowly return, he felt something pulling at his chest. He wanted to stop whatever it was but his limbs were still refusing to cooperate. He tried to force his eyelids open but they felt like lead and yet the growing discomfort in his chest continued.

Mike gasped as he witnessed the yellow pus that oozed out from the newly opened scar. As the Doctor swabbed at the discharge, Mike's own heart constricted at the sight of the seemingly large amount of it that was being removed. The Doctor saw Mike's worried expression and spoke.

"Don't worry Mike. It looks a lot worse than it actually is. It's not very deep and it's confined to the one spot but it's been festering for a few days. "

Mike frowned as he thought about the suffering that Steve was still going through and as if he was agreeing with Mike's unspoken thoughts, Steve moaned again, this time a little louder. The disturbing moans continued despite Mike's continued whispered reassurances. Mike was now seriously concerned that Steve was in fact feeling some pain that he was unable to communicate because of the sedative but reading his concerns well, the Doctor spoke again.

"It's ok Mike, he's not in pain. It's mostly psychological. As you witnessed earlier, Steve doesn't like people seeing his scar but he absolutely HATES anyone touching it."

Mike swallowed hard at the Doctor's words. He knew that Steve had issues with his scar but he hadn't realized his issues were that profound. The Doctor was hurrying to get the wound cleaned as soon as possible as Steve was becoming more restless by the second but while he worked he glanced up at Mike and saw his reaction.

"You didn't know that ... Did you?"

"No ... I mean I knew he was uncomfortable about it but I didn't realize it was that bad. Did he actually ... TELL you that? "

Dr. Lowell smiled.

"Mike this is Steve. Of course he didn't TELL me but I can tell by his reactions. I've seen it too many times before. He tries to pretend he doesn't mind it but his reactions tell a different story."

Dr. Lowell continued to explain as he worked.

"It's actually quite common Mike. An open heart surgery scar is quite a drastic scar as you can see. Older people tend to accept them more readily but for younger people like Steve it usually takes a bit longer to come to terms with it. As it heals it will become less obvious but he'll always have it and for some it's a constant morbid reminder of how fragile life is and specifically for Steve it's a constant horrific reminder of the shooting. As well as that, the scar can be quite sensitive while the nerve endings are healing and for someone like Steve who is already repulsed by the sight of it, the added sensory issues with it only compounds the issue, even up to the point of actually making him feel physically sick. But he WILL come to terms with it and accept it in time, I can assure you. "

"How ... can we help him with that?"

"You can't Mike ... I'm afraid that's something that Steve has to come to terms with on his own but he will ... The sensitivity will get easier as the scar heals. Just give him time."

Mike listened to the Doctor and glanced back dolefully at Steve who was still moaning every now and then and was starting to move his head from side to side with a pained expression on his face. Again he found himself wishing that things hadn't turned out the disastrous way they had.

The discomfort in his chest was becoming increasingly hard to bear and therefore Steve was trying harder to open his eyes. He needed to see what was happening. He heard voices around him but couldn't make out the words. But one was definitely Mike's voice. He was sure of that. It took him several attempts but he finally managed to get the word past his lips.

"Mi ... ke ..."

At the same time he managed to open his eyes just a little and squinted at the bright light that assaulted his eyes.

"Yes Steve. I'm right here. You're ok. Dr. Lowell is just cleaning your ... wound. "

He had been going to say scar and then thought better of the use of the word for fear it panicked the young man again especially in light of the news he had just been told. Steve turned his head at the answer and tried to look down at what the Doctor was doing but Mike pulled his face back away gently, before he could see as he could, the pile of yellow stained swabs that now lay to the side of the scar.

"Now, now you don't need to look at that. The Doctor's nearly finished now. "

The fact that Mike wouldn't let him look at it made him nervous and he stammered, his voice slurred under the effect of the drugs.

"Is .. Is it ... that bad?"

"No, no it's not bad at all. The Doctor has it under control. "

Steve winced as the antiseptic burned and spoke breathlessly as a result.

"Ow! ... It ... stings Mike ..."

"I know, I know. Hold on now. "

After one final swab was used and discarded, Dr. Lowell placed a fresh dressing over the open scar and spoke in a calming manner.

"Its all done now Steve. I'm just going to dress it back up now and we'll get you upstairs to a nice, quiet room in CCU. You're doing much better. How are you feeling?"

Steve's brain felt like mush. Even the Doctor's words seemed to take a while to filter through the fog and be understood. _" All done ...Thank God he thought. Up to a room ... Great! More movement around the cold corridors when his stomach contents were already feeling decidedly unstable and he was feeling chilled already ... How was he feeling? ... Didn't he realize that he had given him so many drugs that he couldn't possibly be feeling anything other than nauseous and drugged up to the eyeballs. An out of body experience that he detested and abhorred. What was he going to answer ? ... Just peachy ... crossed his befuddled mind and he smiled inwardly at his unspoken sarcasm._ But instead he decided to settle for the regimental answer that always came so easy to him and didn't take much effort.

"Ok ..."

"Ok, huh? " Mike stated, unable to contain the exasperation from his voice at Steve's blatant disregard for the truth.

Steve looked guiltily in the older man's direction, knowing how much Mike hated when he used that word and then seemed to study Mike unnervingly. Steve wasn't sure if he could really trust his blurry vision but there were definitely signs of upset in Mike's eyes. He suddenly remembered how his panic attack had affected the older man and a deeper sense of guilt filled him. _How long ago had that been? How long had he been out for?_ All he had were unanswered questions. His mind was still addled and he struggled to clear it.

"What ... day is it?"

Mike smiled.

"It's still Saturday Steve. You haven't been out that long. Just around two hours that's all."

 _Only two hours! The way his head was feeling, it felt like he had been under for a week!_ His mouth felt bone dry and he coughed after his weak attempts to speak, the coughing tweaking his scar and causing him to wince once again. When it subsided, he tried again.

"Really ... thirsty ..." he croaked as another coughing fit struck and he managed to finally will his left hand to move protectively to his chest in a vain attempt to stop it causing him pain.

The nurse moved forward quickly and produced a tall beaker that held a straw and held it to his lips as Mike's hand went behind the young man's head and lifted it gently forward allowing him to drink. He sipped greedily at the water, glad of the relief the cool water brought to his parched throat. When he had drank his fill he gently pushed the cup away as Mike laid his head gently back against the pillows.

"That better?" Mike asked, his voice laced with concern.

"Yeah ... Much better ... Thanks ..."

The Doctor put the last piece of tape on the new dressing and smiled at his patient.

"Ok Steve. That's finished. Now the other good news is that you can finally move your right arm again but I still need to you to do very little with it for at least the next forty eight hours to stop the wound reopening again, alright?"

Steve nodded, relieved that at least he didn't have to keep the arm elevated and still anymore.

"Ok, I'm going to go see if that room up in CCU is ready yet for you and I'll be back to you two gentlemen shortly. Try to sleep some more Steve. It will be another little while before that sedative fully wears off. You should try to make the most of it."

Steve watched the Doctor exit the cubicle and then turned and glanced towards the window trying to get an indication of the time by the brightness of the sky but the dark grey clouds and rain streaked window gave away no clues. Steve felt a cold shiver wash over him and remembered through his fog filled brain how his late Grandfather used to tell him that when that happened to you it meant someone was stepping on your grave. What an image to remember under the current circumstances he thought as another shiver shook him. He wondered if the window was open as he suddenly felt uncomfortably cold.

Mike and the nurse frowned as they noticed him shivering. Mike leaned closer and drew Steve's attention.

"Steve? Are you feeling cold?"

"Yeah ... Can you close ... the window ... Please?" he slurred again before closing his eyes again as his head swam.

Mike and the nurse exchanged a concerned look as the overbearing heat in Recovery was still palpable and they both knew that the window was not open at all. The nurse felt Steve's forehead and frowned at the heat that was emanating from it. She grabbed for her thermometer and once more placed it under her patient's arm. Steve started slightly at the cold foreign object that had arrived suddenly under his arm but Mike reached out and made sure he didn't disturb it.

"Ok, it's alright. The nurse is just taking your temperature. Steve, the window isn't open. You have a slight fever from the infection. That's what has you feeling shivery. Hold still now."

The nurse waited and then removed the thermometer and her face remained serious.

"Is it up again?" Mike asked hoping for a better answer than the one his trusty gut was giving him.

"Yes ... We'll have to give him something to try and bring it down a bit. I'll go talk to the Doctor and then get some cool cloths so we can sponge him down and cool him a little."

Mike's spirits fell as he thought about the effect of more drugs on the young man in the bed. He knew Steve usually had a bad stomach where antibiotics and pain killers were concerned and wondered what the ultimate effect of all these drugs was going to be. He knew at best Steve was going to be feeling nauseous especially considering that he hadn't eaten anything since the previous evening so he was running on empty so to speak. As Steve violently shivered again, Mike stopped the nurse's exit briefly.

"Oh nurse? Now that he can move his arm do you think we could maybe get him out of this paper gown?"

"Sure, I'll bring him some hospital issue pajamas."

After she left, he turned to Steve and frowned as he saw the young man's eyes glazed and unfocused.

"You hear that Buddy Boy? You get to get rid of that paper towel ..." he said chuckling but to his dismay, no smile came from Steve.

"You still feeling out of it?"

A few seconds passed as Mike words finally sunk through the haze.

"Yeah ... My head ... is spinning ..."

Guilt washed over Mike briefly as he responded.

"Well ... I'm sorry about my part in that ... It's just ... You were so distraught and the alarm was ringing and ..."

To his surprise, Steve's left hand reached out and patted his arm, while Mike could see his friend's eyes desperately trying to focus on him.

"Forget it ... Was my own fault ..."

"Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"What am I gonna do? ... I mean ... If ... I lose the job."

Mike could hear the heart breaking angst behind the question and he felt a sudden strength from out of nowhere. Clasping Steve's hand he spoke firmly and yet in a reassuring tone.

"Now you listen to me Buddy Boy ... You're not going to lose ANYTHING? You hear me now? I'll talk to the Department Head and explain everything and what you said earlier about having nothing else left, well, that just isn't true. You still have Jeannie and you still have ME and you always will have Steve ... whether you like it or not ..." he added humorously at the end, ruffling Steve's hair despite the dampness that glistened there from the fever.

A slow smile curled around Steve's lips at Mike's words but before he could manage to make his jumbled brain form words of thanks and appreciation , the nurse appeared leaving a blue hospital pajamas on the end of Steve's bed and a bowl of cool water and a sponge on the bedside locker and then spoke to Mike.

"Mr. Stone? There's an Inspector Dan Robbins outside Recovery here to see you. He said it was urgent. "

Mike swallowed hard as he watched Steve's smile fade as quickly as it had come and a deep sadness etched itself across his face, which his dulled senses took longer to disguise this time. In a mumbled voice Mike answered the nurse.

"Could you tell him I'll be out in a minute please?"

"Certainly ..." the nurse answered as she headed off to give the message.

When Mike looked back at Steve he saw the young man struggling to keep his emotions together yet doing his best to seem unaffected by the news. The debilitating effects of the sedative were not making his task any easier though. Mike shrugged his shoulders as a hint of frustration crept into his voice.

"Damn, that boy has lousy timing! ... Look ... just let me go see what he wants and I'll be right back and we'll get you cooled off and into those pajamas, ok?"

Steve nodded but then as Mike turned to leave he grabbed out and caught Mike's arm needing to say what he felt he had to. He only hoped he could get the words out the way he needed to.

"MIKE? He could be here to get you for work ... I ... appreciate you being here today ... But ... HE'S your partner now Mike ... If he needs you ... Then you have to go with him ... I'll be ok ... Really ... "

He had tried to make the words sound strong and reassuring but he knew there had been a wobble in his voice that the drugs had not allowed him to conceal very well. He stared at Mike as if it were the last time he would ever see him again and Mike just stood and stared back for several seconds. He was touched by Steve's words and understanding and suddenly felt very torn between his obligations towards both young men ... but there was no way in hell he was leaving Steve now. Not in this state ... It was his day off. The young man needed him. He had made a promise to Steve and he was darn well going to KEEP it!

"Steve, I'm just going to go and see what he wants. That's all. Now I know he's my new partner and I'll look after him and train him in just like I did you BUT NOT today. Today I promised to you. Have you got that hotshot? Not him ... YOU. Now try to rest and I'll be right back. Ok?"

Steve's throat constricted at Mike's heartfelt words and while his gut told him he should insist on him going with Dan, his heart wouldn't allow him to. So he forced another word from his shaking lips and did his best to smile.

"Ok ... "

Mike smiled and winked before turning and heading out of the cubicle. His anger raged a little at the unwanted intrusion as he thought to myself _Dan this had better be important!_


	8. Chapter 8

**A Promise Kept**

 **A/N: Firstly sincere and heartfelt thanks to all of you who are continuing to read this story and a special word of thanks for all the supportive, encouraging and wonderful reviews. I definitely feel a lot better continuing this tale now knowing there are people enjoying it and it has meant a lot to me to know that. As mchicken said so well in her review it is very hard to post a chapter, that you have put a lot of work into, to the deafening sound of silence so all your feedback is hugely appreciated. Thank you so much.**

 **Secondly I had to use a small bit of Spanish in this chapter but as I do not speak it myself I had to rely on Google Translate so apologies if any part of that is incorrect.**

Chapter 8

Mike strode purposefully towards the doors to Recovery and smiled politely as the lady at the main desk buzzed him out. He stood outside and looked around at the busy Hospital corridor and spotted the young, dark haired figure of Dan Robbins looking out the window to his left. He hadn't seen Mike yet and Mike noted that the young man seemed agitated and very ill at ease as he stood seemingly lost in thought. Mike thought inwardly that he had a right to be! He walked towards him, through the people walking by, speaking louder than he intended, the long day so far adding to his irritability.

"DAN? This had better be GOOD!"

Dan jumped and turned to see his Lieutenant coming towards him and swallowed hard as the loud voice confirmed his worst fears that Mike wouldn't be best pleased to being interrupted considering the reason he was here in the first place. He held up his hands in a calming gesture but wondered if it was for Mike's sake or for his own protection. He was only starting to get used to having Mike as a Boss and a partner and had yet to get used to his sometimes gruff manner. At the moment it still made him nervous and when he was nervous his words didn't always come out the way he wanted them to.

"YES, yes it is. The Captain sent me Sir ... I mean Mike ... I told him it was your day off but ... he said that you had a file he needed for his meeting with the Mayor this afternoon at five and that I was to find you and get it from you ..."

"A file?" Mike asked, trying to rack his brain as to what file Rudy had been referring to.

The day had been so long and physically and emotionally draining to the older man that it felt to him like he hadn't been in the office for several days instead of just last night.

"Yes Sir ... Ah ... Mike ... Something about a monthly report that you were supposed to leave on his desk last night ... And he said I wasn't to come back until I had it in my hand ..." he added, to impress on Mike the urgency with which he had been sent to find him and the ONLY reason he had bothered him here at the Hospital in the first place.

Mike's memory snapped into place and he looked momentarily confused.

"I left that on his desk ... Or ... or did I? "

Mike again thought back to the evening before when he had locked up the office and gone home, feeling worn out and then the cold truth struck him. He had meant to drop it up to Olsen on his way home but it had completely slipped his mind! He looked at Dan, his initial anger waning, as a hint of embarrassment replaced it, adding to the redness in his cheeks that was already present there from the heat he had been enduring in the Recovery Room.

"You know he's right. I had a lot on my mind last night and I clear forgot ... It's still in the drawer of my desk. It completely slipped my mind. Damn it!" he added in frustration.

Dan could see that the older man seemed to be contending with more than his fair share today and that now this was adding to it, so he smiled and tried to be of help.

"That's ok ... Mike. I can get it from your desk and drop it up to Olsen for you. Don't worry. You look like you've got enough on your plate ... "

But Mike shook his head and seemed even more annoyed and frustrated.

"No, no ... You can't. I appreciate the offer Dan but ... my desk is locked and ... "

His sentence remained unfinished as he patted his trouser pockets and then scowled as he remembered that he had changed trousers that morning.

" ... and the KEYS to it are back at my house! "

Mike rubbed a tired and frustrated hand across his face as he glanced at his watch and saw that it was now ten past four which gave them very little time to get the keys from De Haro Street and the file from his desk and then to Rudy in time for his meeting. He then glanced back at the Recovery Room double doors and tried to think what he should do next. He'd promised Steve that he would be there for him and yet he knew how Rudy would react to not having the file he needed for his meeting with the Mayor. The Mayor was a tough cookie to deal with and seemed to be the only person who could make Olsen quake in his boots. As a result Olsen's stress tended to be shared at times like this and Mike knew that it would most likely be Dan that would get it in the neck for not acquiring the file mainly due to his more recently joined position in the Department. For the second time in the last few minutes he felt torn between the two young men who clearly needed his help. Of course he felt ultimately that Steve's need was the greater of the two, due to how sick he was but at the same time it WAS his forgetfulness that had landed Dan in hot water in the first place. He fidgeted where he stood, the chin rubbing increasing in speed as he forced his brain to find a solution.

Dan watched his partner struggling with his conscience and again felt bad for placing him in such an awkward position on his day off.

"Look ... Mike. I can get the keys from your house if you like?"

"No, no you'd never find them in time. I'm going to have to go with you ... Listen, you're going to have to drive me to De Haro Street and then drop me back off at the Hospital on your way back to Bryant Street to get that file. I can't leave Steve for too long ... "

"Sure, no problem ..." Dan stated reassuringly feeling uneasy on hearing Mike's last sentence and inwardly debating if he should ask the next question or not.

Deciding that he really genuinely wanted to know the answer, he only hoped that Mike wouldn't consider him to be prying.

"How is ... Steve?"

Mike's face gave him his answer before the words even came.

"He's not great Dan ... He's developed an infection in the chest wound and he's battling a fever at the minute ..."

The older man's voice was tinged with a clear mix of worry and sadness but seeing Dan's facial expression turn serious Mike quickly turned purposefully more positive.

"But he'll be fine ... He's a fighter. Just a bump in the road that's all. Come on. The sooner we get those keys for you the sooner I'll be able to get back to him." Mike stated, his mind made up on what he had to do to resolve both his dilemmas as he turned and headed towards the Recovery Room doors ... but he stopped just short of them, his hesitation palpable.

Dan could sense his uneasiness about leaving Steve in his current condition and felt even worse about bothering him. When Mike remained still, Dan looked at his watch and knew they were in a squeeze for time so he spoke purposefully.

"Mike? Aren't you going to tell Steve you have to do a quick errand and that you won't be long?"

That was the part Mike was struggling with. In his current sickly and emotional state how would Steve react to the news that he had to go off with Dan for work related issues. He had seen the look on Steve's face when the nurse had announced Dan's arrival outside and knew that with all the trauma Steve had had to contend with over the last four weeks that he still hadn't quite come to terms with the many changes that were taking place in both their lives, faster than he could process them and accept them. He remembered his last words to Steve before he had left the cubicle. " _I promised today to YOU ... Not him!"_ Wouldn't the news he'd have to give Steve seem like a complete turn around on those words and a slight betrayal on Mike's part. Maybe it would be best if he just went and got back as quickly as he could without causing more hurt or upset to the young man who already was dealing with more than his fair share of misery at the minute. After all, he had said he'd be right back and he WOULD BE! Yes! That was the best thing he could do. He also frowned as he saw the rain still lashing down outside and remembered that his overcoat and fedora were back inside on the windowsill in Steve's cubicle. Maybe it was a good thing to leave them there, he thought, as a reminder to Steve that with his coat and fedora still there, Mike wouldn't be far away without them.

Dan was getting anxious at the length of time it was taking his Lieutenant to answer and again anxiously glanced at his watch.

"Mike? I don't mean to hurry you but we don't have a lot of time ... "

Mike glanced over his shoulder and realized that he was taking too long to make up his mind. Seeing a young Hispanic woman approaching the Recovery Room doors with a tea trolley, he finally decided what to do. Approaching her, he caught her attention and smiled warmly.

"Excuse me Miss. Are you going into Recovery?"

The young lady smiled sweetly and nodded her head.

"Recovery ... Sí ..."

"Look I hate to be a nuisance but could I ask you a big favor? Could you please tell the patient in cubicle nine, Steve Keller that Mike, that's me, had to just run an errand and not to worry that I will be back within the hour. I'd really appreciate it ..."

The young lady seemed to struggle a little with the length of the message and a slight flush of embarrassment tinged her cheeks. She nodded pleasantly, smiling as she did.

"Thank you so much..." Mike added, feeling better about leaving, now that Steve would be informed that he would be right back.

He also felt that it had been prudent not to mention Dan in the message to minimize the impact of it. He turned and headed for the elevator quickly as Dan picked up his pace to keep up with him.

"Well COME ON Dan. Get a move on. We haven't got all day you know?" Mike added as they both entered the elevator and Mike pushed the ground floor button impatiently.

"Yes SIR! " Dan added on purpose this time as he smiled at the older man's words and as the doors closed, he laughed as he saw the scowl Mike shot him sideways in the reflection of the steel doors at the despised title he had on this occasion purposely bestowed.

Maria Santos watched as the older man headed down the corridor with the young man following after him and saw them enter the elevator. She frowned for a moment before finally shrugging her shoulders and pressing the button for access to the Recovery Room. It was her first day and she was finding it so hard. As the door buzzed she pushed her tea trolley through the doors of Recovery and smiled as relief washed over her as she saw the Hispanic nurse inside at the desk that had been so instrumental in getting her this job. Her smile didn't last long as a nurse came towards her and spoke way too fast.

"Ah there you are! Can you bring a cup of tea into the patient in cubicle one please?"

Maria stood and frowned as she started to feel panic rising inside her but she sighed with relief as the Hispanic nurse came towards her.

"Ann, that's my niece Maria. She only started today and her English is not too good yet. She is taking lessons. Here allow me. María puede traer una taza de té en el paciente en cubículos 1 por favor?"

Maria smiled her widest smile.

"Sí, sí, sin duda."

"Gracias Maria."

"De nada."

Maria was very grateful to her Aunt and proceeded to fetch the tea as she was requested. With so many people talking in English to her, she only hoped she would pick it up more quickly in time.

 **Meanwhile back in Cubicle 9:**

Steve shivered again and with his good hand he reached down and pulled up the covers over him as best he could. He wasn't sure how long Mike had been gone for, as his watch had been removed before his procedure and he wasn't even sure where it had been put. He hated not knowing what time it was and felt that time always dragged more when you didn't have a watch to check. With the curtain pulled all the way around he couldn't even see a clock outside although again he wasn't sure his vision was clear enough yet to probably have been any use in that regard anyhow. Even through the foggy haze that still relentlessly lingered in his brain, refusing to be dismissed, Steve found himself wondering what Dan had wanted and couldn't help wondering what was being said now out there between them. How many times had he in the past interrupted Mike's days off just like Dan had just now, as they had been called into work? Just as many times as Mike had interrupted him most likely. Although Mike seemed to always have a habit of interrupting expensive dinners and ruining any chances he ever had of second dates ... A smile curled around his mouth as he recalled the many times he had rolled his eyes as the fedora clad man had arrived at the most inopportune of moments and he nearly always had the timing perfect to make sure that Steve hadn't even had a chance to eat yet ... Steve's chest burned momentarily robbing him of the funny memory and plunging him back mercilessly to reality with another violent shiver. The scar where the Doctor had been cleaning was stinging mercilessly and he felt his nausea return in waves of discomfort as he swallowed hard several times to try and make it pass quickly.

The curtain pulled back and the nurse entered smiling. She closed the curtain behind her and to Steve's added horror, she picked up the pajamas from the end of the bed.

"We just got word that your room upstairs is ready. We cant give you anything else to bring down the fever for another half hour at the earliest as you have too many drugs in your system for the moment so let's sponge you down and get these on you shall we?"

Steve's heart sank. There seemed to be no end to his misery or humiliation today. What he tried to make sound acceptable just came out to his dismay as a pathetic stammer.

"Ah ... That's ok nurse ... Mike said he'd help me with that when he gets back ..."

The nurse smiled at Steve's words. She had seen it more times over her career and never failed to find it amusing at how the male patients hated to be dressed by the female members of staff. Didn't they realize that to them it was just a job and nothing to be embarrassed about? But respecting Steve's wishes for now she put the pajamas back down and spoke to ease his concern.

"Ok ... But you're being moved upstairs in fifteen minutes. I'd rather you have the pajamas on you for the move as the corridors are quite chilly and with your fever I don't want you getting any colder en route so if Mike is not back in ten minutes you're going to have to let me help you instead, ok?"

Steve frowned at the implication but nodded his head in agreement all the same. After all he had won a ten minute reprieve. He just hoped that Mike would be back by then. He watched as she exited the cubicle and he sighed with relief. _Come on Mike. Get back in here quick will ya?_ he pleaded silently to no-one but himself.

It felt to Steve like barely a minute or two had passed when the nurse returned and surprised him. Seeing the initial panic cross her patient's face she smiled and spoke reassuringly.

"Don't worry. You still have seven minutes left. I'm just gathering up your belongings for the trip upstairs. "

Steve smiled nervously back at her answer and then as he watched the nurse gather his stuff from the locker, he seized his opportunity.

"Ah Nurse? I'm sorry ... I never got your name."

"Sylvia ..."

"That's a nice name. Listen ... ah ... You don't happen to know where my watch is do you?"

"Yes, I think it's in one of these belonging bags in your locker. Let me see ... Ah yes ... Here it is. Would you like me to put it on for you?"

"Yeah, that would be great thanks ... Only ... time in here drags. Every hour feels like a month! " he added with annoyance and clear distaste in his voice.

Sylvia laughed.

"You should see what it feels like working here!"

That caused a wry smile to break out on Steve's face as he watched her carefully put the watch onto his wrist.

"There we go. Better? "

Steve nodded as he looked at the time on the watch and felt easier at least now able to judge better the passage of time that had seemed so elusive before. He glanced across and saw Mike's fedora on the windowsill and his smile noticeably faded.

"How long ago did ... Mike leave?"

The nurse had seen what he had been looking at when his expression had changed and suddenly felt bad for the young man who was clearly concerned about having been left to fend for himself, while feeling so lousy, here in this sterile and at times unsettling environment, with for the most part, well meaning strangers. She placed a hand on his arm surprising him by her gentle touch.

"About a half hour ago ... Look Steve, I'm sure he'll be back soon. It's spilling rain outside. I'm sure if he was going anywhere outside he would have brought those with him." she said indicating the coat and hat.

The nurse's words made sense and he was grateful to her for them seeing as his own brain was still way too muddled to be relied on to make such sense just yet.

"Yeah, yeah I guess you're right. Is he still outside?"

"I don't know I'm afraid. He went outside to meet the other young man but I haven't been outside since so I'm not sure if he's still there or not. Would you like me to check for you?"

"No, no that's ok. " Steve quickly stammered not wanting Mike to think for one minute that he was checking up on him or anything.

"Do you two work together?" Sylvia asked cautiously, sensing something was troubling the young man in the bed but not quite understanding what.

"Used to ... That young man that came looking for him is his new partner. " Steve stated plainly, keeping the emotion that threatened to show successfully out of his voice as he did.

"Oh I see " Sylvia responded suddenly feeling as if she was beginning to understand what was going on in Steve's mind.

"Did you two work together for long? ... Only you both seem very close. I have to admit when I saw you come in here at first today I thought you were father and son."

Steve smiled at that statement and he flustered a little.

"People have thought that before but ... well we're just very good friends. We were partners for just over four years."

When he saw Sylvia's expression as he said that, he felt a sudden need to explain.

"I know that doesn't sound like a very long time but every year as a police officer feels like about five. "

Sylvia sympathized.

"I can imagine. It's quite a stressful job. "

"Yeah ... Yeah you can say that again ..."

"Did you ... get shot on the job?" she asked even more nervously as she gestured towards the dressing that still lay exposed through the torn paper gown.

Steve looked down and his expression struck Sylvia as heart wrenching. He seemed to take forever to answer and when he did, the words were quieter and seemed harder to form.

"Yeah ... It was a woman who ... shot me ... a woman who had just been calling the hospital inquiring about her sick child. I never thought ... I mean it never crossed my mind ... she just looked like a normal mother concerned about her kid ... you know? I really read her wrong ..."

From where Sylvia now sat perched on the side of Steve's bed she could feel his hand starting to shake and she was suddenly sorry she had asked. He seemed caught up in the memory of it again and so she decided that she needed to change the subject and as she heard the trolley wheels outside she spoke up.

"Oh that sounds like the tea trolley coming around. Would you like a nice cup of tea? It would probably do you good and warm you up a bit."

Steve realized that he had gotten a little morbid and tried to perk up for the nurse's sake. Clearing his throat to dispel the emotions talking about Barbara Ross had dragged back up, Steve forced a smile and answered.

"Yeah, yeah ok ... Maybe that would be nice."

Sylvia patted his arm once more before heading off to fetch him one. He heard what sounded like a quick conversation in Spanish outside the curtain before he saw Sylvia return and placing the cup on the locker she raised Steve's bed so that he was sitting up more and held out the cup for him to drink from. He placed his good hand round it and immediately felt the warmth of it doing him good even before he sipped at the warm liquid and it felt good as it went down his throat and warmed him from the inside out.

Just as he managed to finish most of it, the curtain pulled back again and Dr. Lowell appeared.

"Ok Steve, time to get you moved upstairs. Are you ready to go? "

Steve looked up at the nurse who seemed to fluster at the early unexpected arrival of the Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon. Before either of them could answer Dr. Lowell saw the hospital pajamas and frowned.

"Sylvia, I thought I told you to get these on him so that he wouldn't catch cold when we moved him upstairs?"

"Yes ... You did ... I'm sorry Doctor ... It's just that ..."

Seeing Sylvia getting reprimanded when it hadn't been her fault, Steve spoke up before she could fully explain.

"It was MY fault. I wouldn't let her. I wanted to wait for Mike to help me ... But he hasn't come back yet ... Did you see him outside with someone when you came in Doc?"

"No ... He definitely wasn't outside. I just came that way. I see ... Ok well ... I'LL help you instead. We can't wait any longer Steve. I want to get you upstairs and settled for the evening so that we can start trying to get that fever of yours down before it goes up anymore. Can you go and make sure his charts are in order Sylvia for the staff upstairs in CCU please?"

Sylvia shot a sympathetic look in Steve's direction, knowing how uncomfortable he was feeling about the whole thing with Mike absent but as the Doctor scowled in her direction she exited quickly, answering as she went.

"Certainly Doctor. Right away."

The Doctor's words had left no room for argument or discussion so Steve was forced to accept his fate as the Doctor picked up the pajama trousers and top and came forward towards him. Steve stared at the curtain as the Doctor assisted him in putting on the pajama bottoms and wished like crazy that Mike would appear through it at any second now and rescue him. He felt his face flush with more than the fever at the embarrassment of his situation and when they were finally on he had to purposefully suppress the sigh of relief that threatened to escape from his quivering lips. He knew it would have been a lot less humiliating had Mike been helping him instead. The Doctor was efficient albeit a little rough. Steve figured that Dr Lowell probably felt that this task was more nurse's work and as a Cardiovascular surgeon a tad beneath his status but then he felt bad. Maybe he was wronging the good Doctor and maybe he was just hurrying to get the job done quickly knowing how uneasy it was making his patient. While he knew he should be grateful that at least it wasn't a female nurse dressing him somehow the fact that it was Dr. Lowell didn't make him feel any better about it.

With the paper gown then unceremoniously torn off and removed, Steve shivered violently and subconsciously covered his dressing with his good arm out of pure habit and nothing else. The Doctor noticed and quickly assisted him in putting on the pajama top. In the process, on two occasions, Dr Lowell had brushed off the dressing unintentionally and both times Steve had jumped involuntarily at the sensation it had caused, and seeing the Doctor's face both times it happened, he inwardly cursed his inability to stop himself from reacting so badly each time. His worst fears about it were realized then, as when he was finally dressed and settled back against the pillows, Dr. Lowell sat down on the edge of the bed and looked unnervingly in his direction. Steve could almost predict what he was going to say but at the same time, hoped that he was wrong about it.

"Steve? Is your scar still very sensitive to the touch where the nerves are still healing?"

Steve swallowed hard, his prediction having been too correct for his liking.

"A little bit ... yeah ..."

The Doctor remembered what Mike had told him about what Steve's word " little" really translated into and frowned.

"Steve ... We've talked about how you can desensitize it before, didn't we?"

Again Steve frowned.

"Yeah ... Yeah you've mentioned it ..."

"You have to get used to the scar being touched and there are steps you can take to help you get used to it slowly. I did give you the Outpatient's clinic card didn't I? For the group that helps people deal with their scar issues. "

"Ah yeah ... I think you did ... But Doc, I don't HAVE scar issues. It's just been too sore lately that's all ..."

"Steve ... I've spoken to the nurses who have been changing your dressings these last four weeks."

Steve flustered defensively.

"Now wait a minute. I never said anything to them about having scar issues and I never stopped then from touching it or cleaning it OR dressing it ..."

"No ... No you didn't but you didn't have to Steve. They're trained to know the signs Steve and you are displaying them all. Steve you don't like even looking at it. You admitted that much just here in this cubicle earlier and you almost go through the roof if someone brushes off it. You need help with it Steve and that's nothing to be ashamed about. It's perfectly normal for young people like yourself to feel strange about the scar but there IS help available Steve. I want you to think about it while you're here."

Steve was getting increasingly uneasy by the topic of conversation coupled with the fact that Mike had been missing for over forty five minutes now and he desperately needed to get the Doctor off his back even temporarily.

"I don't HAVE scar issues Doctor! SEE!... " he stated defiantly as he suddenly felt a burst of bravado and touched his scar dressing with his good hand, applying firm pressure to it. He did his best to look comfortable with it and ignored the horrible tingly sensation that started to torture him as he did. "Would I be able to do that if I had SCAR issues? Well WOULD I ?"

The Doctor watched stunned at his patient. He hadn't expected him to do that and began to wonder if he had perhaps called it wrong. Deciding for the moment that Steve's actions were impressive enough to drop the subject he conceded defeat.

"Fair enough Steve. Maybe I was wrong. Anyway ... I'll go see if the porters are here to move your bed upstairs. Just relax and take it easy there for the minute, ok? "

"Ok Doc and ... thanks ... for all the help ..."

The Doctor nodded and left the cubicle but no sooner had the curtain closed behind him when Steve let go of the scar and brought his hand up to cover his mouth as he retched violently. He struggled to contain and swallow back the bile and the all too recently swallowed tea that rose in his throat at the horrific sensation touching his scar had caused. Thankful that he had succeeded in not throwing up, he lay back with eyes closed and took several deep breaths as the scar tingled and burned and the waves of nausea washed over him and made him shiver repeatedly. He felt so tired and fed up and as he glanced once more over at Mike's fedora he got the strangest feeling that Mike wasn't coming back anytime soon and he blinked back the the tears that threatened to form as his misery continued.

 **Notice the nurse's name Sylvia Elaine?.. ;-)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 9

The walk or rather the mad dash to Dan's car was a less than pleasurable experience for Mike when he discovered to his dismay that Dan had not parked in the underground carpark but instead had settled for street parking instead. The relentless rain meant that by the time Mike sat into the passenger seat, his jacket and trousers were soaked through and the droplets ran down his face and he seriously regretted not having had his overcoat and fedora with him. Wiping the rain off his face and hair, as Dan got in the driver's side equally as drenched, Mike barked unceremoniously.

"Couldn't you SEE that it was raining?"

Dan could feel the annoyance emanating from his partner and knew he'd messed up again. He knew if this partnership was going to work, he was going to have to try a lot harder not to irritate the man sitting beside him. He also knew he was competing against an unseen force, Mike's regret that he was NOT Steve and never would be.

"Sorry Sir ... I mean Mike ... I guess I wasn't thinking ..."

"Weren't thinking huh? Well you got that right!"

Seeing Mike pulling at the fabric of his now sodden trouser legs and brushing the raindrops off his jacket, Dan felt bad and reaching over, he tried to help.

"Here let me help you with that ..." but his hand was abruptly brushed away.

"I'VE GOT IT ... I've got it ... Couldn't just park in the underground carpark, huh?"

"Well ... I thought it would be quicker if I parked here ..." Dan mumbled.

"Quicker? I see and have you figured out yet what else it was?"

"Wetter? ... " Dan mumbled again.

"THAT'S RIGHT! Boy, you have a lot to learn, my friend."

Dan sat looking remorsefully at the older man wondering if he would ever live up to Steve's reputation. To his added dismay, Mike stopped brushing himself down and glared once more at him, gesturing to the key in the ignition..

"Well what are you waiting for NOW? A formal invitation?"

Dan frowned and muttered back.

"No Sir ... Sorry I mean ... Mike."

Dan turned the key and drove off quickly in the direction of De Haro Street as Mike continued his annoyed rant beside him.

"And will you PLEASE stop calling me SIR! This is not a Military Academy. There's no Yes Sirs or No Sirs. How many times have I told you that so far?"

Dan was getting annoyed now and sick of never getting anything right as far as Mike was concerned and so as he drove he argued back, feeling hard done by.

"I only call you that when you make me NERVOUS! "

Mike was taken aback by the sudden defensive answer. He seemed to calm a little and spoke with a tone of surprise in his voice.

" What? WHEN do I make you nervous? "

"When you act all gruff like just now. "

"I DO NOT act GRUFF!"

"See you're doing it AGAIN! ... " Dan responded and shook his head in frustration as he drove on further and took a sharp right turn, causing Mike to shift suddenly where he sat and grab the door handle to steady himself.

Mike scowled at the crazy manoeuvre and opened his mouth to protest but then stopped himself as Dan's words gradually began to sink in. Was he really acting that badly towards the young man without realizing it? An uncomfortable silence filled the car for several seconds as neither man spoke. Mike was beginning to question how he always acted around Dan. Was he always being too hard on the boy? Was he comparing him too much to Steve unfairly? He thought about the many times Dan had floundered during their first week as partners and had called him Sir and began to realize that it normally HAD coincided with times when he hadn't quite lived up to Steve's high standards and he had become annoyed with him as a result. He was going to have to stop doing that for Dan's sake ... and his own. Maybe Steve wasn't the only one struggling to accept all the changes that had taken place in their lives. Deciding that he needed to change the subject, he quickly spoke in a purposefully less antagonistic tone.

"So tell me. How did you manage to find me on my day off?"

Dan glanced sideways briefly and was glad to see that Mike didn't seem to be reacting that badly to his earlier outburst. He had regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth but on the other hand he was glad that he had at least spoken up for himself.

"Oh that was easy ..."

Mike smiled curiously and rose to the bait.

"Easy, huh? Do tell ..."

"Well, I rang your house and there was no answer so I drove over there and knocked on your door and when I didn't get an answer I drove over to Steve's place to see were you there."

"Oh I see ... you just assumed that I would be over at Steve's , huh? And what made you jump to that conclusion Inspector? I could have been at mass, shopping at the food store, OR getting my hair cut. Why Steve's ?"

Dan seemed to fluster a little but he answered in a quiet voice, his eyes never leaving the road.

"Because you talked about him a lot yesterday ..."

Mike swallowed hard. He hadn't noticed that. He took a deep steadying breath, his eyes never leaving the young man at the wheel.

"Did I?"

Again Dan didn't catch the older man's eye but answered truthfully.

"Yeah ... So I figured he was on your mind and that you might call in to him when I got there and found no answer, Steve's neighbour Anderson saw me leaving and came out and told me about Steve's procedure this morning so I ..."

"... Put two and two together and made four. Right?"

Dan finally looked briefly across at Mike.

"Yeah ..."

"Not bad detective work ... " Mike mused and Dan smiled as he heard one of the first compliments he had received from the older man of late.

"Well thank you ..."

Dan's smile didn't last long though as they turned the next corner and hit heavy traffic seemingly at a standstill.

"Oh man ... This is all we need! " he moaned as he checked his watch and saw that it was coming up to four thirty.

The radio blared to life, announcing a five car pile up on the Bay Bridge that was affecting traffic on all routes. Dan banged the dashboard with his fist.

"We'll never make it Mike, not in this gridlock. What are we going to do now?"

"Put on the siren ... " Mike calmly answered reaching down and picking up the gumball and slapping it onto the roof.

"But there's no real emergency. Isn't it unethical to use the siren when there isn't a life of death situation involved?"

Mike looked with amusement at the young man.

"Unethical huh? Ok, tell me this ... If you knew that someone was going to be killed at five o'clock across town this very afternoon, would you use the siren then?"

"Of course ... "

"Well if you don't get that file to Olsen on time for that meeting YOU'RE going to be that murder victim so PUT ON the SIREN!"

Dan shook his head and couldn't help but smile at Mike's observation and with the siren blaring he forced their way through the gridlock amd took a few shortcuts to try and reach their destination as quickly as possible. Mike's thoughts returned to Steve and he hoped that he had gotten his message ok and was doing alright. He wondered if his temperature had gone up any more. The fever and infection were starting to worry him more than he was willing to let on. Despite the Doctor's reassurances that they had caught the infection in time, Mike still feared the worst. Steve had looked like death warmed up the last time he had seen him and an ever growing guilt consumed him for having left his friend to go on a file seeking mission. He watched as Dan took several shortcuts but he also frowned as he could see that despite clearly doing his best, Dan didn't seem to know the best shortcuts like Steve always did. He bit back the criticism that rose to his lips as Dan took another wrong shortcut and ended up back in traffic. Manoeuvring his way successfully around the blockage and turning up another adjoining side street, Mike couldn't contain his frustration any longer.

"DAN? Why did you take this one? Steve always takes the next one. It brings you out a lot CLOSER to my house!"

That was the final straw and Dan slammed on the brakes and backed up angrily, stopping as he got to the top of the side street and turning to address Mike in a very aggrieved tone.

"LOOK MIKE! I'm sorry I'm NOT Steve, ok? I am genuinely sorry about what happened to him and I'm even more sorry that I don't seem to be able to live up to his standards in your eyes but maybe ... just MAYBE if you simply give me a chance, then I might be able to prove my OWN WORTH in this partnership ... SIR! " Dan found himself yelling, as the stress and awkwardness of their whole situation finally reached boiling point for the young man, who felt he was doing his best in very trying circumstances but as he saw Mike's stunned and hurt expression in reply, Dan suddenly felt sorry for his unforgivable outburst and stammered apologetically.

"I'm sorry ... Mike. That was out of line. I just ... Well I ... I'm sorry ..."

Unsure of what else to say, Dan drove off again, this time taking the turn that Steve would have, and pulling up outside Mike's house in mere minutes at four forty. Mike hadn't responded to Dan's rant and in a strange way Dan wished he would just yell at him and get it over with. The man's silence was even more unnerving than the gruff manner that usually made him so nervous. Feeling even more awkward than before, Dan merely stated quietly.

"I'll wait in the car ..."

"Dan? Listen ..."

"You don't have to say anything Mike. I was out of line. I know you're just worried about Steve and that's perfectly understandable and I know you miss him as your partner ... It just makes things a little harder that's all ..."

"No, you're WRONG. I DO have to say something. You're right, I'm worried sick about Steve and yes, I miss him as my partner and well ... just the same as it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, it's equally hard for this old man to get used to a new partner, especially one like yourself who shows as much great potential as ... well ... I guess as Steve did when he was first assigned to me. You two are very different in so many ways but you both show the same energy and drive and ambition and maybe it's those similar traits that make you a constant reminder of the one person I wish you were. I won't lie and say this is going to be an easy transition because ... Well that wouldn't be fair to either of us but you DO deserve a chance to show what you can do and I promise if you give this old man another chance then I'll try and stop the comparisons and what did you call it again? Oh yes ... Being gruff! What do you say? Truce?" Mike added, offering his hand out towards Dan.

Dan smiled and was touched by Mike's words and took his hand and shook it warmly.

"Sure ... Sounds good ... Thanks Mike ... And I'm sorry for yelling and for not being as understanding as I should have been. Look ... I consider Steve to be a good friend too and ... I really hope everything works out well for him, you know?."

Mike smiled.

"Yes I know you do Dan ... You know ... I don't think I've ever really thanked you properly for everything you did for him that night. If you hadn't stemmed the bleeding like you did and drove us to the hospital so fast well ... who knows how differently things would have turned out. And as for me well, that night is mostly a blur for me but I know you and Jeannie piloted me through most of it. So thank you for that. I mean it. Thank you. "

Mike squeezed Dan's arm strongly and Dan suddenly felt the better for it. Maybe this partnership would be successful after all, if effort was put in by both sides to try and make it work. Who knew?

"You're welcome ... "

Mike swallowed back the emotion that had filled his throat as he had imparted his thanks and recalled that horrifying night that he tried so very hard not to recall most of the time and then just as quickly pulled himself back together.

"Ok, I had better go and get that key. You, my friend are running out of time."

Dan watched as Mike got out of the car and raced up the steps to his house. The rain had eased a little bit, but the sky still looked dark and ominous and Dan figured that the heavy rain wasn't far off again. It only took less than a minute for Mike to return, this time under a large black umbrella and arriving at the passenger window he indicated for Dan to roll it down. When he did so, Mike leaned down and handed the keys over towards him and spoke.

"Here, you only have fifteen minutes. You're cutting it very close. Put the siren on and head straight for Bryant Street. Call dispatch along the way and tell them to inform Olsen you're on your way with the file and that should spare any bloodshed ... " he added teasingly.

"Wait a minute. Aren't you coming? I thought I was going to drop you back at the Hospital on the way."

"Dan you haven't time for that particular detour right now but don't worry, I'll call a cab. Listen Dan ... I may have to take an extra couple of days off this week ... Steve needs me and well ... I haven't been there for him as much as I should have been these last four weeks and I want to make it up to him, no, I NEED to make it up to him and I need you to understand that. Would you mind sitting in with Bill and Norm for a couple of days just until I get back? "

Dan smiled.

"No ... I don't mind at all. Actually I think there are some reports that need typing up too on my desk. Guess I need some practise at those too. Take all the time you need Mike. Do you want me to tell Olsen for you?"

"No, best not say anything for now. I'll call him later this evening after he's calmed down from talking to the Mayor! " Mike added and both men laughed.

"I'll see you soon Dan ... Go on now ... You better hurry ..."

"Ok, see ya Mike. Oh and ... tell Steve I was asking for him, will ya?"

"Sure ... I will ... Bye ..."

Mike watched as Dan drove off and smiled even wider as the siren wailed as he tore off around the corner. He even drives as fast and as precariously as Steve! he thought to himself. STEVE ... He checked his watch and frowned as he saw it was coming way too close to four fifty. He'd been away for fifty minutes now and he had to get back to Steve as soon as possible but with the gridlocked traffic he didn't fancy his chances for getting back as soon as he wanted to. He mounted the steps back up to the house and started the onerous task of calling cab companies.

Twenty minutes later and a more frustrated and annoyed Mike Stone was talking to the operator of the last cab company name in the phone book.

"Now look ... How difficult is it, to just get a cab to take me to Franklin Hospital ?" Yes, I know all about the Bay Bridge pile up and the traffic gridlock but there must be some car near enough to where I am. Look it's important that I get back there soon. Please can you just check and see if you have a car near my location?"

The man on the other end was less than helpful.

"Listen Buddy, the only way you're going to get next or near Franklin Hospital anytime soon until the traffic clears a bit, is to call yourself an ambulance!"

"Well, thank you very much. You've been MOST UNHELPFUL!" Mike yelled as he banged down the phone in frustration. " An ambulance indeed ... " Mike repeated and then he grinned to himself as an idea struck him and he picked up the receiver and quickly dialled another number. Mike listened to the phone ring several times and then heard a voice answer.

"Police Dispatch. Johnson speaking."

"Johnson, it's Lieutenant Mike Stone. Listen ... I need to ask a bit of an unorthodox favor ..."

 **Back At Franklin Hospital in Cubicle Nine :**

Steve was still struggling to cope with the relentless waves of nausea that were refusing to be ignored. He had tried everything he knew to keep his stomach contents in place but it was taking its toll on him and he was tiring and knew he was rapidly losing the battle. As he took long slow breaths, he startled as the curtain suddenly pulled back but much to his relief it was Sylvia and not Dr. Lowell. She was already addressing him as she entered.

"The porters are on their way down Steve. I just need to disconnect your ... STEVE? What's wrong? "

Sylvia stopped mid-sentence as she saw Steve in clear distress and breathing erratically. Rushing forward she took Steve's good hand and spoke urgently.

"Steve? Please talk to me. What's happening? Are you having chest pains?"

She studied the heart monitor quickly and saw no worrying change in the rhythm before looking back at her patient who seemed to struggle to answer her.

"No ... No ... I just ... feel a bit sick ..."

"Steve, you look more than a BIT sick. Hold on. I'm going to get Dr. Lowell ..."

As she passed by him , Steve grasped her arm gently and pleaded.

"No , no Sylvia ... Please? I don't want you to tell him ... Please don't! "

Sylvia looked around at him and looked confused.

"STEVE! I HAVE to tell him if you're sick. He's your Doctor and it's my job and my obligation as your carer. Why on EARTH do you not want him to know?"

Steve knew that if the Doctor heard of his nausea so soon after touching his scar he would realize that Steve's insistence at not having issues with his scar had just been a pretence and then he would have to endure more lectures about desensitization and help groups. He wanted to deal with HIS scar in HIS own way. Was that so much to ask? He didn't think Sylvia would understand his reasons so instead he pleaded for her help some more.

"Please, just don't tell him yet ... You can tell him when we get up to CCU ... I promise ... At least then he'll think it was the movement of the bed that caused it. Please Sylvia ... You'll still get to tell him so there won't be any harm done ... I'm just asking you not to tell him now ... That's all ..."

As soon as the last word left his mouth, he gagged violently again and had to swallow hard once more to prevent himself from vomiting. Sylvia grabbed a bowl from the locker and brought it close to him.

"Steve, you can't fight that. You're gagging. You're going to have to get rid of it. "

Steve pushed the bowl away.

"No ... I can stop it. It's just taking longer than usual ... to pass ... That's all ..."

Steve realized as soon as he had said that, that he had slipped up as he watched Sylvia's facial expression change.

"Longer than USUAL to pass. Dear God Steve, how long have you been feeling sick without saying anything? "

Steve looked down at the bed, still trying to breathe through the nausea and struggling to keep everything together and answer at the same time.

"Not long ..."

"STEVE? HOW LONG EXACTLY? "

Steve's face seemed to flush redder than before and he took one more deep breath before the truth came out.

"Since ... Since I got here ..."

"STEVE! What am I going to do with you? "

Steve gagged painfully a third time, and stopped it again, but was starting to fear that Sylvia was perhaps right. This time he was NOT going to be able to stop it and the thoughts of vomiting and tweaking his scar was more than he could bear. He looked at Sylvia one last time and she saw a desperation in his eyes that startled her.

"PLEASE ... Just hold off telling him ... Just for now ..."

Sylvia knew what she was obliged to do but something about this young man troubled her. He needed help. Someone to be on his side. With the older man missing for now, he didn't seem to have anyone else. She wasn't quite sure what he was achieving by waiting to tell the Doctor about his nausea until they got upstairs but she couldn't see too much harm in it for now. After all, if she hadn't come back in, she wouldn't have been any the wiser. Besides, now that she knew, she could at least keep a close on eye on him. She struggled with her conscience for several seconds more before finally responding.

"Alright ... I don't know what this is about Steve but you need to know that as soon as this bed starts moving you're not going to be able to stop yourself from throwing up ... That nausea is very severe. Dr. Lowell is going to know then regardless."

Steve managed to force a smile at Sylvia, but quite from where he wasn't sure.

"That's ok ... Just bring that bowl and keep it close to me ... will you please?"

"Don't worry I will ... but if you do manage to stop being sick somehow ... I'm GOING to tell him when we get to CCU ... Got it? I won't cover for you any longer than that!"

Steve shivered from the stress and the internal battle he was having with his stomach contents. Through slow labored breaths he spoke gratefully.

"Sure ... That's fine ... I understand ... Thank you ..."

The curtain pulled back again and two porters appeared with Dr. Lowell with them.

"Ok ... Are we all ready to go in here?"

Sylvia looked at Steve as she disconnected the last of the monitors and draped the various drips on the edge of the bed for transporting. Then covering Steve with an extra warm blanket for the trip upstairs she spoke clearly.

"Yes Doctor. We're all set ..."

"Great. Ok Steve, let's get you upstairs shall we?" Dr. Lowell stated as the two porters started to manoeuvre the bed out of the cubicle.

Sylvia grabbed the bowl and made sure she stood right beside Steve as the bed moved. Seeing Mike's fedora and coat on the window sill, as the bed was pushed forward, Steve called out.

"WAIT! Mike's coat and hat ..."

They stopped moving and Sylvia went and retrieved them and placed them at Steve's waist level on the bed. She smiled down at him as she saw him looking at the fedora dolefully and swallowing hard. Bending down within his earshot, she whispered.

"Don't worry. I'm sure he'll be back soon and when he does get back here, they'll redirect him up to CCU where you are. If you're going to be sick, just grab my arm to let me know, ok?"

Steve nodded gratefully at Sylvia who then frowned as she felt him shiver again and saw how distressed he was, as the bed started moving again. She made sure to keep beside him as they made their way slowly out past the other cubicles and through the Double doors of Recovery and then Sylvia noticed sadly that the young man's fingers reached for the fedora and held it fast as if he was drawing some much needed comfort from it or as if his very life depended on it.

 **A/N : Again thanks to everyone for continuing to read and review. If my updates are slower for the next few days it is because my littlest boy is down with a dreaded tummy bug and I am waiting for the others to possibly follow suit ... So I may have my hands full with more unpleasant things in Real Life and be holding the bowl just like poor Sylvia at the end of this chapter !... :-( Hopefully the rest of them will not get it but If I am missing you will at least know why ...xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 10

Sylvia noted that as they had exited Recovery and traveled down the corridor towards the elevator, despite his visible struggle to contain the nausea, Steve's eyes were searching the corridor around him. She didn't have to ask who he was looking for, the grip on the fedora spoke all the words that were necessary. She found herself looking too, almost hoping for the young man's sake that Mike would exit the elevator or the door from the stairs and bring some hope and much needed comfort for her patient but there was no sign of the older man. She saw the stark disappointment in his eyes as he seemed to slump more against the pillows and his hand left the fedora, as he appeared to give up his search.

They reached the elevator and Steve's bed was pushed inside. Another vicious wave of nausea struck him and he shuddered violently unable to control it. The porter behind him mistook his shudder for a chill and he felt the blanket being pulled up further towards his neck, which only served to make him feel even more stifled and claustrophobic. The steel doors closed in front of him ... but the sudden jolt as the elevator began moving upwards was the final straw and Steve grabbed Sylvia's hand in alarm as the awful retching began, winning out over Steve's failing strength and willpower.

"DR. LOWELL? ..." Sylvia couldn't help yelling, as she alerted the Doctor to her need of assistance as she positioned the bowl and witnessed the violent expulsion of the meager contents of Steve's stomach.

"Quick, turn him onto his side!"Dr. Lowell instructed as he turned to assist, however the confines of the elevator were proving to be a challenge.

With the help of the porter, they managed to turn Steve as the painful heaving persisted. Each retch caused pain to tear through his chest wound and he seriously regretted having consumed the recent cup of tea, which was really all that resurfaced. The turn onto his side only exacerbated the pain and as the heaving finally subsided, a bout of intense shivering took over. He closed his eyes and tried to ride out the misery as the pain burned and tried to rob him of his breath and he felt so unbearably cold.

The voices around him became louder and more urgent and he strained to make out what they were saying as they blended together, but he could feel a frenzy of activity taking place around him. He was turned back onto his back and was unable to suppress the loud groan of pain that escaped his lips as the chest scar fully protested the side position he had been in. He felt a hand on his forehead and heard Sylvia's voice clearly beside him, the professional voice, definitely laced with concern.

"He's very warm Doctor ..."

The elevator pinged and Steve's bed was pushed without delay out of it and he felt the bed moving at great speed down another corridor. He wanted to yell at them not to go so fast, as his stomach again seemed to protest the speed with which he was being propelled along at, but his voice was refusing to cooperate just yet. He could hear Dr. Lowell's deep, booming voice barking instructions as they went and then Sylvia's quiet voice close to his ear telling him to hold on, and that he was going to be fine. As the painful throbbing in his wound eased a little and the bed seemed to slow to a stop, Steve cracked open his eyes and could just about make out a sign above two double doors that clearly read "CCU".

He heard a buzzing as the doors were opened and again, the speed increased as his bed was pushed forward urgently. He saw Dr. Lowell speaking to a woman who had greeted him inside the double doors and heard his name being mentioned and then he heard the Doctor bark again at the porters to head for room number five. The room number made him shiver even more at the irony of the fact that he was being assigned the same room number he had spent over two weeks in after his initial surgery four weeks ago. He knew every inch of that room, from the the number of ceiling tiles above the bed to the number of painful steps it used to take him after that first tortuous week to get from his bed to the restroom down the corridor. It held painful memories and yet it held a certain familiarity and Steve almost held his breath as a feeling of deja vu washed over him as his bed was pushed through the door and pushed into place.

He found himself looking up and searching for the small rust colored stain on the ceiling tile directly above his head and couldn't help the wry smile that crossed his face as he saw it. An older nurse entered the room and seemed to introduce herself but Steve missed the name she had given. Poor Steve got little respite as another frenzy began as monitors were reconnected and drips were hung back up and the cold thermometer arrived back under his right arm. He jumped from its unexpected arrival and frowned. _Why couldn't they at least give him some warning before they placed that thing!_ He was feeling very drained and tired all of a sudden and wished the many hands that were working around him would just leave him be. He saw the older nurse remove Mike's coat from the bed and as she went to take the fedora, he started to panic but before he could get any words to form, he heard Sylvia's voice clearly from beside him.

"Rita, you can leave the hat please ..."

Steve smiled at her understanding but his smile faded as he heard the Doctor's voice boom again.

"Sylvia, thanks for the help. You can go back downstairs to Recovery now. "

Another wave of panic washed over Steve at the Doctor's words as he was losing the one person who seemed to understand him. Sylvia turned and leaned down to speak softly to him.

"Steve, I'm afraid I have to head back downstairs but you're in very good hands up here now. Rita is an excellent Cardiac nurse, one of the best in the Department. She'll take good care of you ... but you must tell her what you're feeling and do what she tells you, ok?"

Steve nodded and saw Sylvia's smile widen as she spoke this time with a touch of humor in her voice.

"Steve? You're going to have let go of my hand now ..."

Steve's cheeks reddened visibly as he hadn't realized that he still had a firm grip on the kind nurse's hand since the painful episode in the elevator. He loosened his grip but felt reluctant to let it go fully. He spoke between the shivers, a touch of insecurity definitely evident in his words.

"Do you ... have to go ... right now?"

There was something about this patient today that made Sylvia reluctant to leave also but the stern look that Dr. Lowell was sending in her direction told her she had no real choice in the matter. Sylvia again smiled and squeezed the hand that was refusing to release hers fully.

"Yes, I'm afraid so but ... don't think you've seen the last of me Steve Keller. I can see I'm going to have to come back up here and make sure you're doing as Rita tells you. Besides ... Someone has to be there to tell Mike where to go to find you when he comes back."

Steve had smiled at her initial words but at the mention of Mike his smile vanished again as he stared down at the fedora and wondered if Mike had gone to work as he had told him to and just not come back to tell him. _But that wasn't like Mike. He had said he would be back and so he WOULD be back. UNLESS something bad had happened? Maybe something had happened to Jeannie! OH GOD! That would explain why he had left in such a hurry._ Steve felt his heart race and then heard the monitor pick up as he did. Sylvia immediately spoke again, fearing that her having to leave was affecting her patient.

"Steve? Calm down ... Everything's going to be alright. I promise you ... "

Steve saw the Doctor studying the heart monitor and feared another sedative would be administered if he didn't try to stop getting worked up, so he took slow breaths to try and stave off the worry that was now threatening to consume him on top of everything else. Everyone kept promising him things were going to be ok but Steve couldn't help wondering how they ever could be again? Nothing was going right. He felt the nurse squeeze his hand again and looked up at her.

"Steve ... I have to go ..."

Steve released her hand reluctantly and smiled bravely.

"Ok ... Thanks ... for everything ..."

"You're welcome ... You hang in there, ok?"

Steve nodded and watched as she turned and spoke to the older nurse briefly and then he followed her movement around the bed and watched as she exited the room. His heart sank and his chest burned but this time he wasn't quite sure if it was from where he had hurt it while vomiting or from the feeling of loss and misery he felt in his current circumstances. He found his hand reaching for the fedora once more as his stare automatically returned to the spot on the ceiling as he remembered all the other times he had stared at that spot in an equal amount of pain and misery in the initial days after the shooting. Only at least then Jeannie had been there, a constant and loyal companion. He turned his head to the left and saw the familiar visitor chair where Jeannie had sat and kept her constant vigil. He could still picture her there in his mind's eye, her smile that had brightened up the sterile room, her gentle hand that had held his even as he had slept, bringing welcome comfort and hope a midst his pain and despair. Now she could be in trouble of some kind and he was none the wiser. He closed his eyes to try and block out the memories this room was bringing back. A hand removing the thermometer made him reopen them and glance towards the older nurse that was now at his side.

Her warm and friendly face looked vaguely familiar but he wasn't sure from where. She smiled and laid a gentle hand on his arm before reading the thermometer and relaying the result back to the Doctor. He redirected his gaze towards the Doctor's reaction and the serious expression spoke volumes. His fever was still causing a problem although Steve hadn't really needed visual confirmation of that fact as he could feel it setting his forehead on fire while the rest of his body remained chilled to the bone.

"Temperature still up ... Huh?" he weakly croaked.

The nurse nodded and placed her hand on his brow as she did.

"Yes, you're burning up but we'll soon have it back down. I'm Rita and I'll be taking care of you for this shift. So turn that frown upside down and don't you worry my dear ..." She said as she fetched a wet cloth and proceeded to mop his brow with it. It brought him some cool comfort but her phrase also clicked a memory into place. He remembered a voice that had spoken to him after his initial surgery. It had said the same thing to him as the pain had been at its worst. He tried to remember the face that had accompanied the voice but the pain he was in at the time fogged his memory ... but the voice had been very similar to Rita's.

"Have I ... met you before? " he asked, studying Rita's face that was now right above him as she continued to sponge his brow.

Again her smile widened and she answered.

"I didn't think you'd remember. You were very ill the last time we met. You were only back from surgery a few hours. You had two very loyal and worried visitors as I recall. "

 _Two?_ Steve thought curiously. Then he remembered that Mike had been there briefly when he had woken at first, before his voice had been of any use to him. He shuddered again as a chill washed over him but he had a feeling it had more to do with the feelings that had been awakened recalling that moment in time. His chest had felt like a truck was sitting on it, excruciating pain that he never wanted to ever feel again in his life. Every breath had felt like it was setting fire to his lungs and he recalled the drug induced stupor that had been effectively dulling his brain.

Jeannie's face had been the first one he had seen upon forcing his eyes open and even behind the medical mask he had recognized those two blue eyes, sparkling and smiling even though they glistened with fresh tears. _Hey babe!_ she had uttered and he remembered the emotion that her words had evoked. He had desperately wanted to reply but finding himself unable to get his voice to work he had only managed to mime the words on his lips instead. He remembered the struggle to try and turn his head to search for Mike and how again he had only managed to turn his eyes and how relieved he had been and happy to see the older man beside his bed and again vividly recalled the blue eyes that searched his and spoke wordlessly of the relief and joy that filled him at the fact that Steve was still alive. He had seen the older man wink at him and again recalled how much energy it had taken to just wink back in his direction in his weakened state. He hadn't been able to remain awake for long as the drugs quickly pulled him away too fast from the two people he needed to see and he remembered the grip that both had on his hands and how they tightened as he had slipped back into unconsciousness.

The following couple of days had been blurry at best. Snippets of consciousness and memories he felt at this stage were highly questionable considering the high doses of morphine that were regularly administered and the lack of coherent thought that had accompanied his waking moments. It was strange. He remembered all the invasive procedures quite well, the needles, the tortuous cleaning of his raw looking wound, all the things that had rudely woken him up, time after time, and yet he barely recalled any conversations that might have taken place but there was one other important thing he that he did remember. How Mike's visits had stopped and yet Jeannie's remained constant. Always there when his eyes opened, always smiling and encouraging, telling him that Mike had called. So many phone messages of support from Mike but no physical presence. A presence he had longed for but one that never came.

Steve had tried to understand. Mike had gone off on a sole, rage driven mission to bring Ross to justice for what she had done to Steve and to rescue the kidnapped jury. He had seen that intensity in Mike many times before but none so heart rendering as when he had gone after the killer of his old partner Gus Charnovski. He could vividly recall the goosebumps that had risen on him as Mike had pointed the gun at his suspect on the deserted underground platform of the BART station. For several seconds Steve had feared that he would shoot as the blue eyes he looked into burned with hatred and grief. Then he remembered how he had caught Mike's eye and Mike had seemed to change in an instant, his blood thirsty revenge had faded on seeing his young partner, fearful of his intended action and he had pulled himself back together and instructed Steve to get the suspect out of his sight. Steve's heart that day had taken a good many minutes to stop hammering in his chest after that incident and even now as he recalled it, he heard the heart monitor pick up from mere memory recall as he also felt his eyes become moist at the tortured memories that were coming too fast and a little too vividly for his comfort.

"Easy now Steve ... "

Rita's voice broke through his memory induced trance and she looked at him with sympathetic eyes as if she could somehow read his hidden thoughts. He breathed deeply again to stop his heart rate from increasing but that only caused his scar to throb even more.

Before she had a chance to say anything comforting, Dr. Lowell seemed to finish writing in his chart and came back towards the bed. Frustrated by Steve's continuing fever, he caught Steve by surprise as he pulled the warm blanket off him. Steve tried to make a grab for it but his responses were too slow.

"No ... Please ... Don't take that ... It's cold ..."

"Sorry Steve. We have to get that fever down. The blanket will just keep you from cooling. It's plenty warm in here. "

As Steve felt the sudden cold the removed blanket had caused and shivered accordingly he subconsciously wrapped his arms around his chest. To his added horror Dr. Lowell picked up Mike's fedora and removed it from his bed. Steve opened his mouth to protest and then thought better of it. The clinical Doctor wouldn't understand how he could be drawing comfort from such a trivial thing and so not wanting to appear foolish he simply watched uncomfortably as the fedora was carelessly deposited on the far side of the room, on the windowsill unceremoniously. Then turning back towards him he questioned Steve again.

"We better check your wound again. Did you hurt it with the vomiting?"

"It was a little sore yeah ..."

The Doctor started opening the buttons on his pajama top and Steve resisted the urge to flinch. Instead of looking down at the dressing ,he purposefully looked back up at the stained ceiling tile, trying desperately to keep his breathing as even as slow as he could. He felt the fabric come fully undone and shivered again as his skin became exposed to the air. Then the Doctor's words drew his attention.

"Rita. This will need to be cleaned again ..."

He risked a look down and saw a yellowish and red streaked stain on the freshly changed dressing and instantly regretted his bravery as his stomach churned and he looked back towards the window, inwardly cursing his continued relentless run of bad luck.

He heard Dr. Lowell issuing instructions to Rita about the amount of pain relieving, temperature reducing medication he was to be given.

"If that doesn't start reducing his temperature in the next half hour he's to be given an all over body lukewarm sponge bath ..."

Steve almost choked as he heard those words and stammered accordingly.

"An all over WHAT? ..."

Rita could see her patient becoming restless and intervened.

"Steve don't fret now. It won't come to that. The medication should bring it down. "

Steve was at the end of his tether. Feeling chilled, sick, emotional and worried about Mike and Jeannie with the threat of another wound cleaning, and a possible humiliating sponge bath hanging over him he wanted nothing else but to get out of the bed there and then and escape back to his apartment in Union Street as quickly as possible but in his weakened and fevered state, he knew he would be lucky to make it as far as the door. Right now all he really needed to know was that Jeannie was alright and that she wasn't the reason Mike was missing.

"Doctor ... Can I ... make a phone call please? "

"Not now Steve. You need to rest ... There'll be plenty of time to make phone calls when we get your temperature sorted. Right now you need to follow instructions and take it easy."

Doc, I NEED to make a phone call ... You don't understand ... "

"STEVE ... I said NO ... The nurse here can make any phone calls you need her to ... Now you're under strict instructions to REST. I don't want you doing anything that's going to make your fever go up any higher. Is that understood?"

Steve nodded, knowing that he was not going to get any leeway from the Doctor. He slumped back against the pillows miserably but just as he thought his luck was never going to change, a second nurse appeared at the door and called to Dr. Lowell.

"Doctor, they're calling for you down in the theater. Catherine says that your next angiogram patient is ready."

The Doctor scowled and looked at his watch.

"Thank you Mary. Tell them I'm on my way. "

As the second nurse disappeared, Dr. Lowell patted Steve's arm.

"Steve I have to go to theater now but I'll be back up to check on you later on. Try not to worry. We'll get you sorted and REMEMBER! REST, alright?"

Steve nodded again and watched as the Doctor left the room and then turned to stare at Rita as she closed the door behind the Doctor and spoke humorously.

"Well thank goodness for that. I'd thought he was never going to leave! Dr. Lowell is the best and most experienced Cardiovascular Surgeon we have ever had in this Hospital but sometimes his bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired. Now ... let's get you more comfortable, shall we?"

He smiled at her comments and stayed watching her curiously as she came over and buttoned back up his top and then brought a clean crisp white sheet over and covered him with it. It wasn't as heavy as the first warm blanket but it was better than nothing and he was grateful to the older nurse for it. He then swallowed hard as he watched her walk to the window and fetch the fedora and bringing it back over, she placed it on the bed beside him. He smiled and mumbled gratefully.

"Thanks ... "

"You're welcome. I could see it meant something to you. Now let's get you your meds and with any luck they'll start to make you more comfortable and bring down that fever of yours."

He watched as she disconnected one of his drips and preparing a syringe she injected it into the cannula, before reconnecting the IV. Then finally she took the phone and placed it on the bed beside him, next to Mike's fedora.

"Now you make your phone call dear while I go and get supplies to clean your wound. You just have to ask the operator to get you your number. If you need me before then just ring the bell beside your bed, ok?"

"Ok ... Thanks ... I appreciate it ..."

She smiled warmly and tucked his sheet around him before picking up Steve's chart and leaving the room.

Steve looked at the phone anxiously before finally gathering his courage and picking up the receiver and tucking it against his ear.

"Hi ... I need you to connect me to an Arizona number please? ..."


	11. Chapter 11

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 11

Steve struggled to contain his bout of shivering as he waited for the phone to be answered. Having given the operator the details of the number he was looking for, he had so far spoken to a few different people at the University and was now awaiting an answer from Jeannie's phone. The rings seemed to go on forever to Steve and his worry was increasing by the second. He felt his emotions fray and was just about to give up and hang up the phone when a voice he knew wasn't Jeannie's answered in a chirpy tone.

"Hello ..."

Steve inhaled deeply and asked quietly, desperately trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

"Hi ... Could I speak to Jeannie Stone please? "

He found himself crossing his fingers tightly on his left hand as he waited for the young girl on the other side to answer his question. Thankfully for the sake of Steve's nerves he didn't have long to wait.

"Sure ... Hold on ... I'll get her for you ..." she announced cheerfully as he heard her lay down the receiver and head off into the background.

Steve exhaled loudly, releasing the breath he had held in while waiting for her answer. _Thank God! She was there. She was alright._ The relief that flooded Steve's sickly and fever racked body was almost overpowering and he was suddenly glad of the few minutes respite to steady his nerves before she would arrive to the phone. He didn't want her to worry. She had exams coming up in a month's time and he had already taken up so much of her valuable study time over the past four weeks that he had to pull off quite a feat now and reassure her that he was ok and that he was just calling to say hi. He wasn't naive though and knew that he was dealing with a Stone. Just like her father, Jeannie had a trouble radar that could be activated at any small slip and as the chills tore through him again as he waited for her to answer, he knew that this was NOT going to be an easy task to try and sound ok when he clearly wasn't.

However that being said, he wasn't sorry he had rang. He was so glad that she was alright and was strangely looking forward to hearing her voice again. He had missed her so much over the past week and almost felt that hearing her voice would do him more good than all the drugs they were injecting into him combined ever could. He smiled as he heard the first voice that had answered the phone, clearly shouting out in the background.

"JEAN? You better hurry out here. There's a man on the phone asking for you with a very sexy voice ... Is there something you haven't been telling us, huh?"

He also heard Jeannie's embarrassed reply and as it became gradually louder he figured she was heading towards the phone.

"Mary Lou will you stop it! Whoever it is will hear you. For heaven's sake ..."

Steve found himself breathing a little faster as he tried desperately to steel himself for the conversation as best he could.

"Hello? ..."

Jeannie's sweet and comforting voice came over the receiver and Steve's strength failed him. It was so good to hear her voice and he found himself wishing that she was actually there in person and not just speaking over a phone line. He struggled to answer as a huge lump appeared in his throat almost threatening to choke him and he covered the mouthpiece with his hand so she wouldn't hear the internal struggle that was going on inside him as he tried to swallow it back down.

"Hello? Is ... anyone there? ..."

Her voice came again and Steve inwardly cursed his body's betrayal. _Answer her for God's sake!_ his brain was screaming at him so he swallowed even harder and removing his hand from the mouth piece he managed a very shaky "Hi ... Babe ..."

"STEVE? Oh Steve, what a lovely surprise. I was going to call you tonight at eight like always. How are you? Are you ok?"

He listened to the sweet lilt of her voice with eyes closed and finally managed to pull himself back together after the initial fear, relief and emotional start to their phone call. He needed to get the subject matter away from himself, so bravely steadying his voice he answered.

"Yeah ... Yeah I'm ok. What about you? ... How are you doing?"

"Oh I'm great Steve. The study is tough but I'm back in the swing of it now. I almost fell asleep in the University Library, pouring over my books yesterday evening ... Would you believe that? Of course Mary Lou says I'm studying too hard so she dragged me off to play tennis earlier and now we're going to go and get something to eat ..."

Jeannie's cheerful narrative continued as she enthusiastically told Steve all about what she had been getting up to since her return to the University Campus the previous week. Steve listened happily, glad of the sound of her voice, that just as he had predicted made him feel calmer and better than he had in days. He was also glad of being able to just listen without having to respond too much except an occasional yes or no added in the right places. Her comforting voice was so soothing to him that he was starting to feel the extreme tiredness that this long and harrowing day was causing. Jeannie talked for several minutes but then started to worry about how quiet Steve was on the other end. She stopped mid-sentence and then spoke a little more concerned than before.

"Oh but listen to me ... I haven't stopped talking have I? I haven't let you get a word in edgewise ..."

"No, no that's ok. Besides ... you know I could listen to you talking all day Jeannie. Sounds like you've had a good week ... I'm glad ..."

As those words left his mouth, Steve's emotions wavered again as he recalled the tortuous and lousy week he had endured in comparison and he cleared his throat to try and dispel any trace of angst that might surface unintentionally.

Jeannie smiled at Steve's thoughtful words and beamed happily.

"Oh now you're just being kind Steve. I'm sure I've positively bored you silly for the last three weeks I was home, talking you to death ... "

"No, no ... Really ... I enjoyed your company ... Actually ... I've ... I've missed you ..."

Again Steve's emotions frayed and he covered the mouthpiece again as he almost choked on the last word. _Damn these drugs!_ They were playing havoc with his brain and not allowing him to conceal his true feelings as expertly as he always did. The pain in his chest, the shivers and the exhaustion were not helping his cause either. Neither was the fact that he still didn't know where Mike was and was still none the wiser. He only hoped that Jeannie hadn't heard the momentary slip.

Jeannie was so touched by his words that she hadn't noticed Steve's shaky voice as he had said them but overall she did feel that he was acting very strange and her suspicions and concerns were starting to surface.

"That's so sweet of you to say Steve. I've missed you too ... "

Steve didn't answer. He couldn't. Another rack of shivers overtook him and his head felt so hot and clammy. He was struggling to keep the strain from his voice. He needed to end the conversation soon or else he would be found out without doubt. He could start to hear a certain change in Jeannie's tone and knew by it that she was starting to catch on that something was very wrong. The silence that continued on Steve's end of the line, started to make Jeannie's smile fade and her heart race a little.

" Steve? You're acting a little strange and you're very quiet ... Are you ... sure you're ok?"

 _That was it. What he hadn't wanted. The famous Stone trouble radar had been activated. He was going to have to tread very carefully from here on._ Steve wiped his brow and took another deep breath, ignoring successfully the aggravating pain that caused in his chest and he removed his hand from the mouthpiece again before steadying his voice bravely once more.

"Yeah ... I'm ok ... I'm just a little tired today that's all ..."

Jeannie frowned even though Steve couldn't see it. It confirmed her earlier fears that he still wasn't sleeping properly. He had been so tired the first week he had come home from the Hospital and yet he had insisted that he hadn't needed anyone to stay with him overnight. Even though she had her concerns, she hadn't wanted to fuss over him too much as both her and Mike knew quite well how much he hated any fuss that was made over him. She had always made sure he was in bed and comfortable before she had left him every evening but every morning when she would arrive to check on him, despite the fact that he had always told her he had slept ok, the tell tale dark circles had told a different story. He had often nodded off to sleep in the armchair during her afternoons with him and on many occasions she had covered him with a blanket and allowed him to doze, convinced that it was the only way he could catch up on the sleep he was clearly not getting during the night hours. Now that he was openly admitting to feeling tired, alarm bells were ringing in her head again.

"Are you still having trouble sleeping Steve?"

The blunt question caught him off guard. He had always suspected that she knew the truth but she had never said anything or questioned it openly before. He didn't want to lie to her so he again kept his voice as steady as he was able to and decided on a variance of the truth instead.

"Some nights are better than others ... You know?"

"I see ... Are you eating properly Steve?"

Steve smiled at that question and the smile was evident in his humorous reply.

"Are you kidding me? You left so much food in my freezer that I have enough of your delicious home cooked food to keep me going for about two months ..."

At the mention of all the food she had cooked and put in his freezer to hopefully keep him eating well for long after she had returned to Arizona, Jeannie couldn't help but remember Steve's difficult first few days out of the Hospital. His appetite had been non existent and the nausea unrelenting from the strong pain killers he was taking. She had gone to the store and bought different food and on that first afternoon home at his apartment and despite Steve's heartfelt pleas that he just couldn't eat anything, she had cooked numerous dishes that she felt he might be able to stomach and keep down. Some of the ideas she remembered had come from dishes her Mother had eaten during the bad days of her illness when like Steve she had been just too sick to even contemplate food. Bland foods, simple soups and bland pasta dishes to name but a few. In fairness to Steve, having gone to the trouble of having cooked them for him, Steve had made a valiant effort to try and eat most of what she had prepared but each time he had failed to keep them down for long.

She remembered how worryingly ill he had been during those early days and the amount of pain the vomiting had caused him even though in usual Steve style he had tried to be brave and pretend that he wasn't in any great discomfort at all. She recalled sitting on the bathroom floor beside him each time the retching had eased and how they had stayed there for several passing minutes before Steve could regain his energy to get himself back up off the floor and with Jeannie's help, make his way back to his bed. She remembered how it wasn't until late in the afternoon on his third day home when she was at her wits end as she saw how weak Steve was becoming from not eating that she happened to ask him what foods his late Grandfather had given him when he had been ill as a young boy? He had said that his Grandfather had always given him mashed sweet potato and that he hadn't thought about that for years. As a last final ditch attempt to get some form of sustenance into him, she had driven once more to the store and bought some sweet potatoes and to both their amazement and Jeannie's delight it was the first bland meal he managed to keep down. She wasn't sure if it was the food itself or the memory of it that had caused it to be successful but at that time she hadn't cared.

For days afterwards that had been all he had lived on but Steve hadn't minded and Jeannie was just glad that he was finally getting some sustenance after the long haul they had endured. She had never told Mike of Steve's struggle with food despite desperately wanting to many times over dinner at De Haro Street but Steve had made her promise that she wouldn't and anyway Mike had been far too distracted with work that she had barely seen her Father those days anyway, spending most of her time trying to care for Steve.

Jeannie had gone very quiet this time and Steve wondered if she was catching on to the angst in his voice. He tried to sound cheerful again, quite a feat for the sickly young man but he felt that he pulled it off ok.

"Hey ... Jeannie? You still there or ... am I boring you this time, huh?"

But Jeannie wasn't that easily fooled by his words as her next question again rattled him.

"That's not what I asked Steve. I asked were you actually EATING the food I left for you?"

 _What was he going to reply to that? He had been eating it at the start of the week but as his chest had started to hurt nearing the weekend he hadn't managed to eat as much as before. Should he just be honest and tell her that or should he just lie and say yes?_ He shifted uncomfortably in the bed as his chest burned and he pulled the sheet a bit more over himself to ward off the persistent chill that was currently driving him nuts.

"Mostly ..." was the word that found its way to his lips and he fisted the bed, annoyed at the pathetic answer that had surfaced without fully being thought out first.

Jeannie didn't like either answer Steve had given and now listened carefully to the background noises around Steve and heard something unusual.

"STEVE? Are you at home?"

 _Oh no! Not that question ..._ He suddenly couldn't think straight. He felt the all too recently administered drug starting to fog his brain a little and realized to his horror that it was starting to take effect. As his head swam, the pain seemed to ease a little and for that alone he was grateful but with the dizziness came the nausea again, the two seemed to go hand in hand these days and where one was, the other was never far behind. _How the hell was he going to answer that one?_

As Steve didn't answer, Jeannie recognized the background sound and her heart skipped a beat.

"Steve? Is that a heart monitor I hear in the background? Oh my God, you're back in Hospital, aren't you? STEVE?"

Steve panicked for a minute or two and cursed his drug fueled stupidity. The heart monitor! Of course ... He hadn't even thought about the fact that she might be able to hear it. It was too late ... No lies would save him now but he had to minimize the damage. He had to stop her worrying and heading back to San Francisco on a frantic rescue mission. She had to think of her exams and not him! They were more important, so ignoring the waves of nausea that were relentlessly assaulting him now as his dizzy head protested even the slightest of movements, he spoke animatedly into the receiver.

"Yes. Yes, Jeannie I am ... but there's no need to worry. I ... I just had to come in for a routine procedure that's all. I'm fine really ..."

"A routine procedure? What kind of a procedure?"

"An angiogram. But everything's fine and it went well and I'll be out of here soon as good as new ..."

Jeannie swallowed hard. _Had he gone through it alone? Such a nasty invasive procedure ... "_

" Steve? Why didn't you tell me you were going in for it? ... Does Mike know? ... Did you go through it on your own?"

"I just didn't want you to worry ... And yes ... Mike came with me. I stayed at De Haro Street last night and everything. Mike's been a Godsend and everything's great between us again ... So you don't have to worry ... ok Babe?"

Jeannie wondered if Steve was telling the truth. She felt ashamed for doubting him but him and Mike had been so strained with each other the last few weeks and despite the few lectures she had given her father on the subject of Steve, up to the time she had left to return to Arizona he still hadn't visited Steve to see how he was. She knew it was her father's coping mechanism. He had done exactly the same after her Mother had passed away. Thrown himself completely into his work and used his fear and grief to push away those who mattered but she hoped for all their sakes that Steve was telling the truth and that her Father had seen the error of his ways.

"Really Steve? Was he really there with you for it?"

"Yes ... I swear Jeannie, on my Grandfather's grave. He's been great. Really. "

Jeannie knew that Steve would never swear on Harry's grave unless he was telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth and hearing about Mike's change of heart made her immensely happy but Steve's demeanor and edginess were still disturbing her greatly. She had a really bad feeling that he wasn't as ok as he was making out that he was.

"Is he there with you now?"

 _Oh Jeannie! What did you have to ask me that for? I don't know where he is. But ... But I can't tell YOU that!_ Steve's stomach churned and another dizzy spell hit. The room tilted alarmingly and he shut his eyes to try and let it pass.

"He ... he was here up to a while ago ... But I ... I sent him to ... get something to eat. He should be back anytime now. "

 _There ...He had lied ... And to Jeannie! That thought made him feel almost as sick as the damn drugs. But he didn't want to worry her unnecessarily and with any luck that's exactly where Mike HAD gone and hopefully Mike wouldn't make a liar out of him and would return any time now exactly as he had said ..._

Silence ensued once more on the other end of the phone for several tortuous seconds. He knew that Jeannie was doubting his account but either way he suddenly felt way too sick to be able to do anything about it. Jeannie would have liked to have heard that her Father was there with him. She would have liked even better to have been able to speak with him to allay her fears about what was going on with Steve and reassure her that he was in fact ok. Instead she was left wondering. She decided to change the subject in search of other answers.

"How long will you be kept in for Steve? ... Was the procedure really awful? ... Will you still be able to start work on Monday as planned?"

Jeannie's tough questions were coming thick and fast and yet Steve's sluggish brain was working slower and slower in comparison. Never a good combination. Too many difficult questions and no good answers for him to give her. He didn't even know where to start.

"Steve? Did you hear me? " Jeannie asked as she swore she heard deep labored breaths coming from the ear piece of her phone.

"Yeah ... Yeah Jeannie I heard you. The procedure wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be ... But they ... they have to keep me in for a few days so ... I'm going to have to ... arrange to start the job a little later ... than I had hoped to ..."

Jeannie swallowed hard at his words. She knew how much he had been looking forward to starting his job on Monday and even though she could tell he was trying to sound unaffected by the news, she knew him too well and knew that he was upset about it, the labored breathing a definite tell tale, give away sign.

"Oh Steve, I'm so sorry ... I know you were really looking forward to it. "

He opened his eyes to see if the room was still tilting at a curious angle and was relieved to see it staying still as it was supposed to. He tried valiantly to keep the bitter disappointment out of his voice but he was having difficulty managing it as the mention of it brought back his valid fears that he could end up losing the appointment.

"Oh well ... It can't be helped. I just hope, the Department Head, Professor Powell understands that's all ..."

The words had caught in his throat and Jeannie had heard them catch. She felt so bad for him and suddenly wished she was back in San Francisco in that Hospital room to give the young man a much needed hug and moral support. But as there were too many miles between them she felt she needed to rally him around any way she could.

"Now you listen here to me Steve Keller! That Professor Powell was lucky to get you as an Assistant Professor of Criminology this year and if he's as sensible as he sounds then he knows it ... He'll give you as much time as you need ... I KNOW he will ... AND if he doesn't ... Well then he's going to have the wrath of two STONES to contend with! You hear me?"

Jeannie's words brought a wry smile to Steve's lips. If that was the case, he didn't fancy Professor Powell's chances. Steve's nausea was building by the second and he began to fear another painful episode of retching coming on. He knew he had to finish up the call and yet he didn't want to. He wanted to stay on the phone to Jeannie for longer, knowing full well that the wound cleaning that was next was going to be hard to endure on his own. He felt a need to deep breathe in order to stave off the sickness but he knew that would just alarm Jeannie on the other end of the phone so he made one last courageous effort to sound alright.

"I hear ya Babe ... I'm lucky to have you two in my corner. Listen ... I ah ... I have to go now Jeannie. They ah ... They gave me some painkillers a little while ago and ah ... I'm starting to feel a little ... woozy. "

Jeannie could hear the slur starting to taint the young man's words and a tear fell down her left cheek. She had seen the terrible effects the drugs that he was being given had on him only too vividly, the last three weeks that she was home and she knew how much he hated the way they made him feel. She also knew that even though he would never admit it, he was probably feeling nauseous as well.

"Ok Steve ... but there's one last thing you're not telling me ... Why are they keeping you in? An angiogram is usually a day procedure, isn't it? Did they find ... something wrong?"

This time Steve heard the catch in Jeannie's voice and knew his efforts to prevent her from worrying had failed miserably. _What was he going to tell her?_ _He saw no reason to tell her about the partial blockage of his artery. After all it had been cleared and that was fine now ...wasn't it?_ _But should he tell her about the infection? Would it make her worry more ? Would she come home if she heard about it and jeopardize her exams? ..._ He didn't know what to do. He stayed quiet way too long for Jeannie's liking.

"Steven Keller, you tell me the truth! I want to know what's going on and I don't want you sugarcoating it for my benefit. I've earned that much Steve. Do you hear me?"

Her instructions were crystal clear and the strength in her voice told him that she wasn't going to accept anything other than the truth. He closed his eyes and took one deep steadying breath as his stomach violently somersaulted.

"Ok ... ok Jeannie. I'll tell you the truth but ... You have to promise me something first ... I don't want you coming home because of it, ok? You have to stay there and concentrate on your exams. Alright? Promise me you will. I need to hear you promise me Jeannie."

Another tear fell down her cheek and she swallowed hard at Steve's words. She tried to keep the upset out of her voice but she wasn't sure it was a promise she could make. Balancing the receiver on her shoulder she crossed her fingers on both hands as she answered.

"Ok ... I promise ..."

She hated deceiving him but she needed to hear what he had to say and knew by his words that he wouldn't tell her unless she promised.

"Ok ... I ... have a ... That is ... they found ... an infection in the chest wound ... Now it's not bad and they caught it early ... So it's nothing to worry about but they have to keep an eye on it and I have to get antibiotics by a drip. "

"OH STEVE! " Jeannie gasped and found herself unable to speak as the tears free flowed at that news.

Even though he had never said anything to her about it, Jeannie knew only too well how he felt about his chest scar. She had been there on a couple of occasions when he had been getting it dressed and remembered how tightly he had gripped her hand. She recalled how he had tried his best to get her to leave the room while he was getting it done and when she refused he would make her promise not to look at it instead if she stayed. He would never look at it directly himself either but at a small stain on the ceiling tile above his bed that had caught his attention in the early days after his surgery and it had become a focal point to him at the most excruciating and difficult times in his recovery.

She recalled how her heart had ached at the utter misery and discomfort that were visible on his face at those times not to mention palpable through the tremor in his hand. All the times he was awake, when she was there, he would always make sure his top was closed so that the scar would not be visible to her and at times he kept a firm grip on the material so that it would not gape open as he moved and reveal it. It had become an almost subconscious action for Steve particularly in the last week she had been home and Steve's first week home from the Hospital. Jeannie had offered to clean it for him but he had always insisted that the nurse's at the Hospital would do it and never let her near it or see it. She could only imagine the renewed torture he was going through at having it examined and messed with again.

"Is it really awful Steve? ..."

"No ... No it's not that bad and the nurses are really great and ... and ... Mike's here."

Steve almost lost control as he forced out those last two words but recovered well.

" ... So I don't want you to worry Jeannie. I'm fine really ... But ... you'll never believe what room they put me in? "

Jeannie wiped at her freshly shed tears and her heart sank further as she heard the forced cheerfulness he was trying desperately to put into his voice.

"Oh Steve, not room five ..."

"Yeah ... Can you believe it? "

"Steve, ask them to change you to another room. That can't be easy being in there again."

"NO, no it's alright. It's just a room Jeannie. Besides ... I know this one inside out by now. But ... It made me think about you ... That's not a bad thing, huh?"

Jeannie felt more tears form. She blinked them away in her efforts to be strong for him.

"Steve? Is that ... what made you call?"

He didn't want to tell her the real reason was that he had been worried about her and that it was mainly because Mike was missing and he needed to know if she was the reason but in another way he HAD wanted to hear her voice when he had seen the chair where she used to sit, so he smiled and spoke sincerely.

"Am I that obvious?"

"Just a little ... "

The door to Steve's room opened carefully and Rita entered with a tray of dressings and other medical supplies and Steve spoke regretfully into the mouth piece, in a quiet but forced cheerful tone.

"Jeannie I have to go now ... The nurse is here and she's waiting for me to get off the phone ... You take care and I'll call you again tomorrow afternoon, ok?"

"Ok ... But you tell Mike when you see him that I want him to call me, alright? And you mind yourself and do everything those nurses and Doctors tell you to do to get better soon. Alright?"

Steve smiled.

"Yes Ma'am ... " he answered playfully but as he turned his head, the dizziness struck him full force again and he dropped the receiver onto the bed as the room swayed completely out of focus for several seconds and his stomach lurched painfully as a direct response to it. He shuddered and gasped from the intensity and heard Jeannie's alarmed voice on the other end of the line, coming through the ear piece now on the bed.

Rita raced forward and picked up the phone as Steve struggled to regain his equilibrium and hold onto his stomach contents at the same time.

"Hello ... hello ...STEVE? Steve what's happened?"

Jeannie sounded panicked and Steve whispered desperately in between deep steadying breaths to Rita as she put the receiver to her ear.

"Please ... tell her ... I'm ok."

"Hello Dear. This is Rita, Steve's nurse. Oh yes, he's fine Dear. He just got a little dizzy, that's all. He really needs to rest now. Don't you worry. He's in good hands and he'll be just fine. He'll call you again tomorrow. Goodbye."

Rita hung up the phone and hurried to assist Steve.

"Nice deep breaths Steve ... That's it ... Nice deep breaths ..."

 **Back in Arizona:**

Jeannie replaced the receiver back on the phone and slumped into the chair, as new tears fell. Mary Lou raced forward having seen her friend's upset and having heard the at times heart wrenching, one sided conversation.

"Jean honey, what's wrong?"

"Oh Mary Lou ... I ... I have to go back home to San Francisco ..."

"Why? What's happened? Is it your father?"

"No ... Not Mike ... It's Steve ... You remember I told you about him? Well he's back in Hospital and he's not well, not well at all ..."

Mary Lou sat on the arm of the chair next to Jeannie and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders, handing her a tissue at the same time.

"Is that ... the policeman ... Who was shot in the heart?"

"Yes ... Oh Mary, he's got an infection in the wound ... I have to go back. He needs me! I can tell. I have to get a bus ticket ..."

Jeannie went to get up but Mary Lou stopped her.

"Hey, hey listen now. You can't go tearing off there this evening and not in this state. Look, book a ticket for early tomorrow morning and we'll go and eat now like we'd planned. Then I'll help you pack a bag and you can get an early night ahead of your early start tomorrow. You're going to be no good to anyone if you don't eat and get some sleep yourself before you go racing home, ok?"

Jeannie knew that her friend was making perfect sense and the Nurse HAD sounded efficient and kind. Yes, tomorrow morning would be better. She smiled at her friend as she then picked up the phone to book herself a ticket home.


	12. Chapter 12

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 12

After several minutes of deep, slow breaths, and with Rita's encouragement, Steve bravely managed to stave off the nausea and the second dizzy spell. Rita mopped his fevered brow as he lay with his eyes closed and she frowned at his sickly pallor.

"Steve? Have you managed to eat anything since the procedure this morning?"

Steve didn't even dare shake his head for fear of more repercussions, so he cracked his eyes open and blinked several times to clear his vision before responding in a voice that sounded he felt, far too weak to be his own.

"No ... God, what was in that ... injection you gave me? My head is spinning."

Rita mopped again at his brow and face and spoke sympathetically

"It was a fairly strong pain reliever which should also bring down that temperature of yours in a short while. I'm sorry. I know it can be very debilitating but Dr. Lowell doesn't want your fever getting any higher. He wants you to be pain free and comfortable so that you can manage to get some much needed sleep and rest. Steve, I know you were fasting this morning but when did you eat last?"

Steve thought for a few minutes and frowned. He couldn't remember. He had been feeling nauseous for a couple of days now. He wasn't sure that answer would suffice so instead he chose a safer one.

"Sometime yesterday ..."

Rita frowned. The young man's answer was vague to say the least and although the strong painkillers would account for some of the haziness, in this instance she genuinely believed it was because he actually couldn't remember when he had eaten last.

"Steve, I think most of your nausea is being caused by the fact that you're on a lot of drugs and they're in your system working off an empty stomach. Most of these drugs react better when you've eaten something. Do you think you could try to stomach some tea and toast if I got you some?"

It was Steve's turn to frown. He wasn't feeling like eating anything and knew from recent events that anything he would manage to eat wouldn't stay down for long. The mere thought of food right now was making him feel ill. Trying to appear positive, he pleaded with Rita.

"Maybe later ... Just not right now ... please ..."

It wasn't the answer she was looking for but not wanting to upset him too much in his current fragile state, she settled for making a mental note to bring up the subject again later on .

Now that the awful dizziness had abated for the moment, Steve's thoughts quickly returned to Jeannie as he remembered her panicked voice, coming from the receiver. He had done exactly what he had intended not to do and alarmed her and now he feared the repercussions of that. She had promised him she wouldn't rush home but the angst that had been in her voice concerned him. He reached out to plead with Rita.

"Nurse ... I have to call Jeannie back ... I didn't mean to scare her like that ..."

Rita could tell he was upset about the incident and didn't want him getting too worked up over it so she tried to calm and console him.

"Now, now calm down Steve. The young lady understood. I told her you were fine and that you'd ring her again tomorrow. Now you heard what Dr. Lowell instructed. He doesn't want you getting all worked up again so let's just get this wound cleaning over with and then you need to try and get some rest. Ok?"

"Are you sure she sounded ok? Only she's got exams coming up soon and I don't want her rushing back home because of me ... Oh God ... Maybe ... I shouldn't have called her ..."

Steve covered his face with his left hand and inwardly started regretting his rash decision to call Jeannie in the first place. While he had gotten comfort from hearing her voice and talking with her and he had been so relieved that she was alright, he now felt he had made the call for mostly selfish reasons. He HAD needed to know that she was ok ... but there had been more to it than that. He had needed to hear her voice. Her presence and support had gotten him through so many bad times of late that he had needed her to be there for him again. But that was wrong of him. She had her whole future ahead of her and her exams were important. He shouldn't have jeopardized that due to his own insecurities and selfishness especially as she had sacrificed three whole weeks of valuable study time for him already. He felt that he had messed everything up and if she came home now because of him, he knew he would feel guilty on top of everything else. Not to mention, what Mike would say? If Jeannie arrived home, he feared that Mike would be cross with him for calling her in the first place and telling her about his procedure. He worried that it would jeopardize not only Jeannie's exams but his newly patched up friendship with Mike. How could he have been so stupid!"

Rita watched the inner torment that was quite evidently manifesting itself in her patient and she grew concerned about his emotional health on top of the health issues he was trying to cope with. She had worked in the Cardiac Unit for a very long time and knew only too well the depth of the struggles all those who passed through there experienced. Different circumstances always brought them here but after the various operations and necessary procedures, their struggles became similar. The denial, the pain, the loss of appetite and zest for life, the difficulty sleeping, the lengthy recovery periods, the mood swings and the depression that for some was far worse than others.

To make matters worse Steve was at the worst possible stage of his recovery. The four week point after major heart surgery was widely accepted to be the lowest point for most patients. It was a time when they had already endured four weeks of pain and healing and their patience and strength were beginning to wane. The trouble sleeping, the loss of appetite had by then taken its toll and depression was more likely to set in. Steve's infection and the results of the angiogram had only added to his complications and misery and Rita could definitely see the dark clouds gathering over this young man. The six week point was normally where improvements started to be felt but the two weeks in between always proved to be the most challenging of all. From experience alone, Rita could see that this patient needed all the help he could get.

She had seen many people both old and young, just like Steve having a hard time coming to terms with their heart operations and knew the steps they needed to take. She had seen nearly all situations over her lengthy time as a Cardiac nurse and therefore felt perfectly qualified to help this young man too as she had helped many before him and hopefully many more after him.

"Steve? That young girl you called ... Was she the one who was here with you after your initial operation?"

"Yeah ... Her name is Jeannie ... She's Mike's daughter. Ah ... Mike is my ... I mean WAS my partner on the force ... before I was ... Well that is before I got ..."

Steve couldn't finish the sentence. The last four words refused to pass his lips ... So Rita intervened on his behalf.

" ... Before you were shot in the heart?"

The stark words seemed to hang in the air as the reality of them sunk in past the drug fueled haze that was covering his brain and making everything seem hopeless.

He felt unable to answer without his emotions betraying him so he risked a slight nod of his head and was relieved that it didn't set the room back into motion again. Rita patted his shoulder gently and spoke sincerely

"Steve? You can't even say it yet ... Can you dear? "

Rita's question was blunt but irrefutable. He was tired ... Bone weary tired. So tired of trying to put up a front. Of trying to pretend he was alright when he wasn't. He hadn't been right since the night he had been shot. Nothing was right any more. Steve often felt that only part of him had survived that night. Some small part of who he once was. Since that night, he hadn't slept properly without the help of drugs, he hadn't been able to eat or enjoy decent food like he used to. Every morsel of food he now consumed became a simple battle to merely retain it. Nothing tasted the same. He had no appetite for food or life. Every waking moment was a tortuous effort to just exist. His scar a constant painful reminder of what had changed his life so radically.

Mike had withdrawn from him and Jeannie had become his only reason to smile in those first dreadful weeks of hell. He had tried to always seem upbeat around her but it had proved to be unbelievably draining. Always trying to hide his pain from her had become the new norm. He recalled the excruciating pain in his bruised and battered sternum, on taking his first early steps out of bed. Trying not to lean too heavily on her light frame as she had helped him take those first painful steps. Every sharp pain in his heart had brought a new scare, a new threat. Every morphine high a welcome relief from the agony and yet at those times he had become incoherent, unable to string together in the haze any useful conversation that didn't sound slurred and rambling. Yet she never complained or asked too much of him. She knew at those times that he wasn't up to speech, his thoughts scattered and so she would talk to him about simple things, tell him stories from her college days or her childhood with her parents. He would struggle to remain lucid enough to listen, eventually having to settle for drifting off to sleep to the relaxing and comforting sound of her voice. His forced pained smiles were the only gift of thanks he had left to offer her back then and her return smiles became the only thing that had brightened his days. The gentle touch of her hand and her soothing voice gradually became his only source of comfort amidst the seemingly endless injections and agonizing interventions.

Steve turned his head away from Rita, his emotions now far too raw for his liking and the drugs making it harder to rein them back in. But there was no reason to put on an act now. Mike and Jeannie weren't there. His two reasons to be strong were missing along with the solace they brought him. A strange longing for everything he had taken for granted before the shooting, surfaced somewhere at the back of his throat. His simple unspoken retreat from her gave her the answer she needed to her question. She leaned over and placed a gentle understanding hand on his hot, fever flushed face.

"Steve dear? Have you spoken to anyone since the shooting about how you've been feeling?"

Steve shook his head carefully and heard the older nurse sigh. She continued to speak to him compassionately.

"Steve, you won't be able to accept what's happened and learn to cope with it until you do honey. It's the first necessary step. No-one expects you to be strong all the time. You need the energy you're expending on that for more basic things right now. You're in a healing stage Steve. You're just wearing yourself out trying to deny everything you're going through and trying to carry on like you did before. You've had major surgery and it's going to take time to feel ok again Steve but until that day comes, you have to ALLOW yourself the right to feel NOT OK, to admit when you're tired or sore, to tell people when you need time to yourself or when you need someone to share some of the burden with you. Only you can give yourself that permission. It doesn't make you weak Steve. It makes you human and those people who care for you will understand that ..."

Rita allowed several seconds for her words to fully sink in, knowing the debilitating effect the strong drugs were having on him. She also knew the toll the fever was taking on him as well and hoped that her words would make a difference. Steve turned back to look at Rita and the kindly nurse could see the moisture clearly glistening in his eyes.

"I ... can't ... There aren't any words ... for how I'm feeling right now ..."

Rita's heart ached at the depth of despair his words held. This young man was in serious need of some TLC and guidance in the right direction and she was determined to help him in any way she could. But first the wound needed to be cleaned. Rita had being reading Steve's file while he had been on his earlier phone call. She had read the Doctor's observations that were scribbled beside some of the pages and knew that he suspected Steve was having severe sensitivity issues with his scar. She also read how he felt that Steve was not coming to terms with what had happened to him and that he was refusing outside help at all opportunities. In the hour and a half that he had been here in CCU, she concurred with the Doctor's findings. She knew there were challenges ahead for them both but that had never stopped her before. However her task would be so much easier if Steve had someone he trusted here with him too. Rita began to think that maybe Jeannie arriving wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. She hadn't been involved too much in Steve's care the last time he had been here, having been assigned a room on the other side of the unit. She had merely taken care of him briefly soon after his surgery until another Cardiac nurse had taken over but when she had been there, she had definitely noticed how much calmer he had been in the young woman and her father's presence.

"Steve, we have to clean your wound now. Is there anyone else you'd like me to call to come and be with you for it?"

Steve was looking dolefully at the sheets.

"No thanks ... There's no-one else ... but Mike should be back soon. He said ... he said he would be ..."

Rita frowned. She could tell that the young man was dreading the procedure and wished that the man he spoke of, was there with him for it.

"Would you prefer to wait until he gets here Steve?"

"No ... No that's ok. I don't know exactly when he'll be back. I ... I think he had to go to work ..."

Rita thought it strange that he wasn't sure where exactly Mike had gone but put the confusion down to the drugs.

"Ok dear. I'll try to get it done quickly, alright?"

Steve risked another nod but then shuddered at the mere thought of it. But it had to be done so he knew he was better to just get it over with. He only hoped he could contain the nausea that he knew for certain would surface as it was being done.

"Yeah, alright ..."

Rita watched him carefully as she unbuttoned his top and saw him tense up as she placed the medical supplies she needed for the task on the edge of the bed beside him. She could feel the tension emanating from him as much as the heat from his fever and spoke encouragingly.

"Ok, this may pull a little Steve, when I take the dressing off ..."

The memory of how it had pulled when the Doctor had attempted to remove the dressing down in Recovery was still a little too vivid and as Rita placed her hand on the corner of the dressing Steve flinched automatically.

"Steve? I haven't even started yet? Are you ok?" she asked cautiously.

"Yeah ... I'm fine ... Just your hands were cold that's all ..." Steve lied and forced a smile.

Rita smiled back. She could tell that Steve's enforced bravado was going to prove to be a challenge to overcome but she had dealt with far more stubborn patients throughout her career so far and knew what needed to be done.

"Sorry ..." She mumbled and rubbed her hands together for effect and then continued easing the dressing back from the open scar.

Steve once more focused on the ceiling, and unseen by Rita a hidden tear fell down his left cheek as he waited for the torture to continue.

 **Ten minutes earlier outside Franklin Hospital:  
**

The black and white patrol car pulled up and Mike got out of the back in a hurry and reaching over, he pulled the overnight bag off the back seat with him and then turned and bent down to speak to the driver.

"Thanks Baker and Shapiro, I owe you both one. I wouldn't have gotten back here this fast only for you."

"You're welcome Lieutenant. Glad we could help. Listen ... Can you tell Steve that we were asking for him. All the guys at the precinct are rooting for him, you know?"

Mike was touched by the clear sincerity in the young Officer's words. Steve was held in high esteem by all the patrolmen and Mike always put it down to the respect and consideration he had always shown them.

"Sure Baker. You can count on it ... I know he'll appreciate it. Thanks again ..."

He waved the young officers off and hurried inside.

The patrol car had gotten to De Haro Street as soon as it could earlier with the traffic gridlock and Mike had used the waiting time wisely to repack the overnight bag that Steve had brought to his house the previous night. If he was going to be staying in Hospital for a few days then he would need the pajamas and toiletries and other things that he had in his bag and then as they finally left De Haro Street he had asked the patrolmen to stop at Union Street on the way back so that he could fetch extra clothes and necessities for the young man's stay.

However the visit to Steve's apartment had proved to be an upsetting one. He had found the place in quite a mess. Steve obviously hadn't been up to too much tidying up this last week he had spent on his own, since Jeannie had gone back to college and the most upsetting part had been the unslept-in bed and the tell tale pillow and comforter strewn on the living room armchair. _Surely he hadn't been sleeping there since his hospital discharge?_ There were pill bottles of pain killers and other prescription drugs in different locations around the apartment alongside numerous glasses of water, some empty, some still with water in them. There were some papers concerning his appointment in the University lying on the coffee table and Mike jotted down the contact number for Professor Powell from them while he was there. That was another phone call he was going to have to make soon. He noticed some opened mail beside the armchair too and grinned as he saw at least ten get well cards among the pile, mostly from colleagues back at Bryant Street. A few photos were casually strewn there too, one was a photo of Steve and Mike at the ball club taken just a few months before, one was a picture of Steve, Jeannie and Mike at De Haro Street taken just last Christmas and the third seemed to be of Steve's Grandfather. He thought about Steve sitting there wrapped in the comforter, reminiscing about old times, and washing down pain relievers with water while he had been working with Dan at Bryant Street all week unaware of the extent of Steve's misery and a lump had appeared in his throat. A sense of guilt had washed over him at his blatant neglect of the young man he cared for like a son. He wandered listlessly out of the Living room towards the Kitchen.

That was equally messy. Some dishes still lay in the sink and a half eaten slice of toast lay on a plate on the counter top. The fridge, for the most part was empty but the freezer was stuffed full of containers of food, labelled in his daughter's handwriting. A sheet of paper lay on the kitchen table and again Mike recognized his daughter's writing as he picked it up and read it. It listed the foods Steve was to eat each day for the few weeks after she had returned to Arizona and instructions on when to defrost them and how to reheat them. He had smiled at the organized instructions and the care she had put in to making sure that he had been taken care of, but the nearly full freezer made him doubt that Steve had eaten very much of it at all.

Steve's bedroom wasn't too messy but the bathroom was another story. There was a pile of clothes now spilling out over the laundry basket and Mike bent down and piled the stray ones back in, noting to his horror that the top pajama top was blood stained. That couldn't have been there since Steve's return from the Hospital as he remembered Jeannie saying that she had gotten his clothes dry cleaned the day before she had left for Arizona. He made a mental note to take the rest of the laundry to the laundromat for him at some stage and have them clean for him when he got home. There were also some blood stained tissues in the sink that had chilled him to the bone and he wondered about them too. An overpowering smell of bleach came from the toilet and he frowned as he also wondered if it had been put there to disguise the real reason that the food in the freezer had remained for the most part untouched. _How could he have been so remiss as to have gone all week without coming personally to check on the young man himself?_

Having packed the extra things he had come for, he locked up Steve's apartment again and getting back into the patrol car he had been driven at high speed back to the Hospital.

Now as he hurried back towards Recovery he checked his watch and frowned. It was now almost five to six and he had been gone for the best part of two hours. He only hoped that Steve hadn't reacted too badly to the message he had left for him and that he had been ok during his lengthy absence away. On arriving at the intercom, he requested to see Steve Keller.

"I'm sorry Sir but Mr. Keller is not here with us anymore ... He's been moved up to a room ..."

Luckily Sylvia had overheard the conversation from the front desk and explaining that she would take of this man, she rushed through the Double doors relieved to see the older man standing there.

"Oh Mike. Steve's going to be so happy you're back. He's been so anxious without you here."

"Anxious?" Mike asked confused. "Why was he anxious?"

"Well ... He didn't know where you'd gone ... I think he thought that you had gone back to work when your partner had called for you."

Mike's heart sank.

"Well didn't he get my message?"

Now it was Sylvia's turn to look confused.

"No ... He didn't get any message. Who did you leave your message with?"

"There was a young girl heading in here with a tea trolley. I specifically asked her to tell Steve Keller in cubicle nine that I had to go and run a quick errand but that I'd be straight back! Didn't she pass it on?"

Suddenly it all made sense to Sylvia and she finally understood.

"Oh Mike ... You gave your message to Maria. She just started today and her English isn't good yet. She probably didn't even know what you had said to her ..."

Mike rubbed a weary hand across his face.

"Well that just about sums up the way my day has been going so far. Dear God, Steve must have thought I just left him without saying a word."

"Well he WAS wondering where you went but he never gave up hope that you'd be back ... And in the meantime he never let your fedora out of his sight! He's gone up to a room in CCU. It's on the fifth floor and he's in room number five. I know he'll be very happy to see you. I think ... Well ... he was finding things a little harder without you here ..."

Mike swallowed hard at that statement. _God knows what the boy must have thought of his unexplained departure. He should have just gone in and given him the message himself but hindsight was always a wonderful thing. He had genuinely thought at the time that it had been better not to. Now he wasn't so sure._

"How has he been health wise? Has his temperature come down any?"

Mike saw Sylvia's smile fade and suddenly he wasn't so sure he wanted to hear the answer to his question.

"No ... I'm afraid it went up again. It was pretty high when we got him up to CCU but they were working on bringing it down when I left. Also ... He was pretty sick in the elevator on the way up ..."

"Sick? You mean physically sick?"

"Yes ... I'm afraid so. But try not to worry. He's in very good hands up there. They'll get him sorted. Look Mike, they're very strict on visitors up in CCU so just tell the nurse at the desk that I sent you up and ask for Rita. She's his nurse and she's one of the best Cardiac nurses here in the Hospital. They'll let you in to see him then. You better hurry. "

"Yes, you're right. Look, thanks for everything you did for him. I really appreciate it."

Mike shook Sylvia's hand warmly and then headed off in a run towards the elevator. Sylvia watched him get in and was happy for Steve that Mike would soon be there to support him.

 **Back up in Room Five, CCU :**

The wound did pull as the dressing came away and Steve resisted the primal instinct he felt to yell and stayed staring at the ceiling stain above him as a definite case of déjà vu washed over him. Rita swabbed the oozing wound several times removing all signs of the discharge. Each touch sent small electrical impulses along Steve's raw nerves and he grabbed a fist full of sheet as every nerve along his still healing chest wound screamed for help. He found his breathing becoming erratic as he found it hard to breathe through the discomfort and eventually as the minutes passed and feeling that he couldn't stand the sensation for much longer, he found himself asking through almost gritted teeth.

"Is it nearly done?"

Rita had sped up her work, clearly seeing and feeling her patient's distress.

"Almost there now Steve. Hold on ..."

He risked a quick look downwards and regretted it immediately as he saw the yellow and red stained swab passing over his wound and his stomach churned. Rita saw his reaction and with the wound finally clean, Rita covered it with a clean dressing with one hand and hurried to reassure him

"Ok Steve, we're finished. It's all done now. The worst is over. Just try to relax ..."

She could feel him trembling and felt his forehead but it didn't feel any hotter than it had been before.

"Steve? Your scar is still very sensitive, isn't it?"

As the nerves still tingled and burned, Steve merely nodded and tried his best to stop the shakes that had suddenly taken him over.

"Steve, it's perfectly normal for it to feel like that after such a major operation. Did Dr. Lowell tell you how to work on desensitizing it?"

Steve rolled his eyes as the subject he had come to detest was resurrected again.

"Yeah ... Yeah he told me all about it... "

Unsure if her patient had fully listened to the Doctor's instructions she questioned him more.

"What exactly did he tell you to do Steve?"

Steve scowled as the annoying questions continued.

"He said I had to start by ... rubbing something soft over the scar a couple of times a day, then to do the same with different textures ... and then eventually work up to ... tapping it with my fingers a few times a day until the scar is not as sensitive."

Rita smiled. He HAD listened but she doubted that he had actually done it."

"Have you done that yet Steve?"

Steve thought about lying. But what real good would that do? Instead he settled for the truth as humiliating as it was.

"No ... Not yet ... I'm just not ready to do that yet ..."

"Steve dear. If you wait until you feel ready, you'll never do it ... Sometimes it's easier to get some one else to do it for you at the start. We can do some desensitization techniques here during your stay if you like? It will be unpleasant at first but you'll be surprised how quickly it starts to get easier. "

"NO! ... No, thank you. I can do it myself just ... Just not yet."

"Steve, you don't even look at your scar. Why not? It's nothing to be ashamed of you know? You're going to have to get used to it sooner rather than later. "

"I know ... It's just that ... it reminds me of ... that night ..."

Steve could feel himself getting choked up. His patience was at an end and he just wanted to sleep for a while and escape the endless questions.

Rita could tell he had indeed some pretty severe scar issues just as Dr. Lowell had suspected and knew she was going to have to enlist more help in her quest to help this particular patient. Putting a plan into action in her head she then decided that Steve had endured more than enough for one day, so she set about quickly fixing the new dressing in place and buttoning back up his top and had just finished when another nurse came into the room.

"Rita, there's a Mike Stone outside requesting to see Mr. Keller. He says Sylvia sent him up from Recovery and that she told him to ask for you."

Rita watched Steve's reaction to that news and saw through the extreme tiredness, the relief that was clearly evident.

"Please show him in Mary. Thank you." Rita said, glad of the arrival finally of the older man.

Steve's emotions were all over the place. He was so glad that Mike had returned but at the same time he didn't feel ready to see him yet. He rubbed at his eyes frantically, and cleared his throat to try and clear the upset from them, not wanting Mike to see him in such a state.

"Wait Rita. I'm not ready to see him yet ... I ... I need a few more minutes ..."

Rita could see that Steve was trying to be strong for his impending visitor and so she grabbed his hand, effectively steadying it.

"Steve, you're more than ready. Remember what I told you Steve? ... You don't have to put on an act. Just allow yourself to be how you are. "

Steve swallowed hard as he heard the frantic footsteps now approaching outside.


	13. Chapter 13

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 13

As Steve heard the footsteps he struggled to regain his composure. His nerves were still raw and on edge and he felt so light headed and tired. Despite what Rita had said he couldn't let Mike see him like that. He just couldn't. So he covered his face with his good hand and desperately tried to pull himself together. Rita could plainly see that what she had asked him to try and do, did not come naturally to the young man in the bed and she frowned. This task was going to be harder than she had hoped it would be. The door opened and Mike entered, speaking as he came in.

"Steve, I am SO SORRY ... STEVE?"

Mike stopped mid sentence as he saw the distressed state of his former partner lying in the bed and he felt panic rise within him. He hurried forward but Rita turned and stopped his progress, knowing Mike's sudden panicked arrival beside Steve would only unnerve her patient even more. Her intervention however panicked Mike further.

"Nurse? What's wrong with him? Has something else happened while I was gone?"

Rita restrained the older man with a firm but calming hand, placed on his chest.

"Now, now take it easy. He's doing ok Mike ... He's just ... a bit upset that's all ... "

Apart from Rita's words, her actions and facial expressions spoke volumes and Mike realized what she was wordlessly trying to tell him and knew he had to approach Steve more calmly and quietly. However her words only increased his inner guilt tenfold. He stammered more quietly.

"Upset? ... Oh no! ... That's my fault isn't it? Please ... I need to explain to him what happened."

Rita smiled warmly, clearly seeing the older man's distress and feeling the need to reassure him as much as her patient.

"No Mike ... It's not all down to you. He's more upset in general. It's been a long four weeks for him and he's sick and tired of it all. He really needs to rest now but I'll let you two talk for a little while in peace. I'll be just outside but like I said he's very tired. Don't tire him out too much."

"Ok, thank you and don't worry, I won't tire him out. I'll make sure he rests."

Rita nodded gratefully then turned and placed a hand on Steve's arm to draw his attention.

"Steve dear? I'll let you and Mike talk for a while alone but don't talk for long. I want you to try and get some sleep, ok? If you need me just ring the bell, alright?"

Steve nodded but didn't remove his hand from his face. He was still trying to fight the effects the drugs were having on his raw emotions and was slowly losing the battle to contain his misery as tears threatened to form in his eyes. He had heard Rita telling Mike that he was upset and that hadn't helped him any. He kept trying to blink the tears back and when that wasn't working he resorted to frantically rubbing at them to remove them instead. Rita found herself hoping that the drugs would win out and allow the young man to clear some of the pent up misery and frustration he had quite obviously been storing up for so long. She genuinely felt that a release of the misery would be a big step forward in his recovery and would allow the healing he so desperately needed to begin to take place but she could also clearly see his utter determination to prevent that from happening at all costs and only hoped the older man could help him see sense.

Rita picked up the tray of medical supplies and used dressings and swabs off the bed and headed for the door quietly, casting one sorrowful and wistful glance back at her patient before exiting the room. Mike slowly moved forward this time and pulling the chair closer to the bed he sat down, watching Steve's struggle with a heavy heart. He wasn't sure if he should just allow Steve a few moments to gather himself and allow him to speak first or if the explanation of his absence would help any or maybe worsen the situation altogether. Luckily as he silently debated his next move, Steve had sensed his closeness and clearing his throat he had dropped his hand and while not directly catching Mike's eye, Steve spoke as bravely as his wavering emotions allowed him to.

"Hey Mike ... "

"Hey Buddy boy ... You ... ok?"

"Yeah ... yeah I'm ok. It's just these drugs ... They ... they mess with your head, you know?"

"Tough afternoon, huh?"

"Tough ... four weeks ..."

Mike heard the tiny breaks in Steve's voice and they alarmed him. He reached out and clasped Steve's hand before he could get a chance to cover his face a second time and held it warmly.

"Yes ... Yes I know. Look Steve, I'm really sorry about being gone for so long ... I honestly hadn't intended to be but things came up and I got back as quickly as I could ..."

Steve blinked his eyes again, unable to use his other hand to swat at his eyes and dispel the rapidly forming moisture, due to the raw and aching wrist the angiogram had been responsible for, and feeling the tight grip Mike had on his other one. Then he risked a quick sideways glance at Mike.

"Where ... did you go? "

Mike could see the upset clearly in Steve's vivid green eyes and chose his words extra carefully.

"Olsen was looking for a file that I was supposed to leave on his desk last night before I left work but I was so tired I completely forgot. Anyway ... he was in a panic about it and I remembered that I had left it in the locked drawer of my desk and that the keys to my desk were back at De Haro Street ... Would you believe all that?"

"So he sent Dan to find you?"

"Yes ..."

"Was the file for a meeting with the Mayor?"

"Uh huh ... and you remember how Olsen gets before those meetings don't you? I couldn't let Dan take the heat for it so ... I had to go back home and get the keys for him. I did leave a message for you to tell you where I had gone but ... Well apparently... It seems I left it with the one person down in Recovery that didn't speak English! "

"What?"

"There was a girl going in to Recovery with a tea trolley so I asked her to tell you that I had to run an errand and that I would be back soon but ... Well Sylvia's after telling me that she only started working here today and she doesn't speak English. That's about how my luck has been running today ..."

Steve thought back to the cup of tea that Sylvia had given him down in Recovery and remembered through the haze that she had been speaking Spanish to the person outside the curtain.

"That's right ... Sylvia was speaking in Spanish to her ..." he mumbled quietly.

"I couldn't even manage to get that right, huh?"

Steve felt a little better that Mike had tried to leave a message of some kind and hadn't just gone off without saying anything but one question still remained. Swallowing back another annoying lump in his throat, he turned his head more towards the older man and spoke from the heart.

"Mike? Why didn't you just come back in yourself and tell me? I was worried about you ... I kept thinking all kinds of things that could have happened to stop you coming back ..."

Mike saw the raw hurt and misery in Steve's eyes and felt responsible for a lot of it. He squeezed Steve's hand subconsciously, as an unspoken apology and felt his own words failing him for once.

"You're absolutely right. I should have ... But I saw how you reacted when the nurse said that Dan was outside wanting to see me earlier and I ... Well I had just said to you how I'd promised the day to you and not him and then ... there I was going off with him and I didn't want you to think I had chosen between the two of you ... Well ... I just didn't want to upset you but I guess I managed to do that anyway, huh? I'm really sorry Buddy boy."

Steve had listened carefully and seemed to suddenly understand how difficult the situation had been for Mike, being torn between a need to be there for his old partner and the necessity to look after his new one as well. He HAD reacted badly to Dan's arrival earlier for purely selfish reasons and he knew he couldn't argue that point. Feeling that perhaps he had made it more difficult for Mike to come back and tell him by his actions, he squeezed Mike's hand back and tried desperately to force a smile to go with his response but the smile was proving harder to muster than he had hoped.

"Hey ... You don't have to choose between us Mike. He's your partner now and not me and I guess I just have to get used to that fact. Besides ... You're back now and ... I'm ... well I'm really glad you are ... "

Mike was grateful for Steve's words but he noticed that Steve's half smile was clearly forced and he could clearly see the pain and sadness that remained in the young man's eyes. The boy was clearly struggling and looking down Mike noticed his change of attire and frowned. He was supposed to have come back and helped him into the pajamas and using the hand that wasn't being held for dear life by Steve, he pointed to the top.

"I see you finally got rid of the paper towel. Sorry I wasn't here to help you with that. Did ... the nurse have to help you?"

It was a question he hated asking. He knew how embarrassed Steve would have been if that had been the case and also knew he would feel even more guilty if that was Steve's answer.

Steve looked down, the memory of the change of clothes long since forgotten under the influence of the drugs but the mention of it brought back the memory vividly. Mike saw him blush slightly and feared the answer but then Steve shrugged and spoke.

"She almost had to but ... then Dr. Lowell helped me instead ..."

"Dr. Lowell?" Mike asked, surprised that the senior Cardiologist would do such a thing.

"Yeah ... "

Mike was grateful to the Surgeon for his kind intervention in his absence but wondered by Steve's hesitant reactions if it had been a blessing in disguise or not.

"How did that go or ... should I ask?"

Steve definitely blushed redder now and stammered reluctantly.

"It was ok ... Not my finest hour ... And maybe not something I'd like to repeat anytime soon, you know?"

A wave of nausea and general malaise washed over him again as the last word left his lips and he shivered violently. Mike sat up straighter and looked concerned.

"What caused that?"

"I don't know. I just get the shivers every now and then ..."

Mike leaned over with his free hand and placed it against Steve's burning forehead and sucked in a deep breath.

"Ooh! You still feel very warm ... "

Looking down at the flimsy sheet covering him, he scowled.

"Is this all they could manage to put over you? It's not very warm looking ..."

"They said they can't put ... anything warmer over me until ... the temperature comes back down ..."Steve tried to explain intermittently through chattering teeth.

Mike pulled the cover, as useless as he felt it was, higher up over Steve reaching his neck and tucked it around him. Steve watched him gratefully and finally found a reason to smile as he watched the older man fussing over him. Mike saw the fedora on the bed and smiled as he remembered what Sylvia had told him about Steve not letting it out of his sight. Steve looked down and saw what he was smiling at and flustered.

"Oh I ... I just didn't want it getting lost ... You know?"

"Yes ... I know ..." Mike replied still smiling at Steve's attempted cover up and added. " And I do appreciate you taking such good care of it ..."

Steve blushed as he felt Mike knew the real reason it had been kept so close to him but there were sharp niggling pains starting to manifest themselves in his stomach now and he suppressed the groan that longed to accompany them. Needing to get the conversation flowing again so as to divert attention away from his growing malaise, Steve continued.

"So ... What else happened? Did you ... get Dan the keys?"

Mike thought about the trip back to his house and the conversations that had passed between them. He was so engrossed in the memory that he didn't answer straight away and Steve felt that something was wrong. Mike was staring blankly at the sheet now and so Steve squirmed his left hand out from under it and tapped Mike's arm to draw his attention.

"Hey ... what's the matter? "

Mike snapped back to the present and smiled nervously.

"Oh nothing ... Yes I ... I got him the keys ok but he was pushing it fine. You wouldn't believe it but there was a pile up on the Bay Bridge and the traffic was gridlocked. He wouldn't have had the time to bring me back to the Hospital so I let him off and tried to call a cab but I couldn't get one for love nor money."

Steve watched Mike react curiously..

"You and Dan are ... getting on ok ... aren't you?"

Mike looked sheepishly sideways at Steve and wondered if he should tell him what had happened or not. Steve had enough on his plate right now but at the same time he could tell that Steve had sensed something was off so he decided to come clean.

"Sure, sure we're doing ok but well it's a big change for both of us and we're sort of adjusting to each other, I guess ..."

"Adjusting to each other? ... You make it sound like a radio that needs tuning. Have you two had a disagreement already?"

"NO! Not a disagreement exactly but ... "

"Mike, this is me ... Just tell me will you? ... Please?" Steve pleaded impatiently as the cramps grew stronger and brought a renewed bout of nausea with them.

"Ok, I ah ... I guess I've been comparing him a bit lately and he doesn't like it. There. Now you know. Can we drop it now?"

"Comparing him a bit ... What? ... You mean to me?"

Mike's cheeks flushed a little this time and he stammered defensively.

"Yes ... Well he doesn't know all the shortcuts like you do and he doesn't fill out the reports the same and then there's his typing. Well that needs improvement ... And the smell of some of that health food he eats and the colour of those green drinks of his and ..."

Mike was ranting on and on and Steve felt strangely emotional as Mike listed all the things that Dan didn't do the same as him and that the older man clearly missed and he felt his emotions starting to fray again as his head swam mercilessly,seemingly joining in with his stomach as if it had suddenly felt left out. Steve had stopped listening and was instead trying to stop his emotions from betraying him. Luckily Mike glanced over and saw Steve struggling a little and stopped his rant. Grabbing the hand that was still resting on his arm, he spoke more positively.

"Sorry Buddy boy, you don't need to hear all that do you? Look, we'll be fine. He had his say and I told him I'd try to stop the comparisons and just let him do his own thing. I'm sure we'll get used to each other in time. He's a good kid ... a little rough around the edges but he's plenty smart up here ..." Mike added, tapping his own temple.

Steve struggled to find his voice again but finally managed it.

"Yeah ... Dan's as sound as they come Mike. Just give him a chance. He'll be ok ... "

"Sure. He was asking for you by the way. He told me to send you his best wishes ..."

Steve nodded his gratitude but his bottom lip was starting to quiver. His vision was blurring again and he felt lousy as the drugs took a very high toll. Mike noticed a change in his skin color. Only a slight one but a paler one none the less and there was a pinched, and pained look in his features more so than before.

"You ok Steve? Only you don't look so good ..."

"Yeah ... I just feel really light headed ... and tired. Mike, I feel so tired ..."

Mike frowned as he heard the distress and level of discomfort in the young man's voice. He thought about calling the nurse but wasn't sure if Steve would appreciate that intervention right now or not. Instead he tried to get him to rest.

"Well, the nurse said not to tire you out. Maybe you should just try and sleep for a while now. We can talk more later after you've got some rest."

But Steve knew that sleep wasn't an option yet. Not with his stomach acting up now and he feared that another spell of vomiting wasn't far off. He needed Mike to keep talking. As a distraction. For something to take his mind off the bitter and upsetting inevitability of what he knew was coming and coming fast. More cramps tore through his stomach and he bit his lip to stave off any sound they would generate. He needed to kick-start the next stream of talk and so he forced the words he needed out of his mouth.

"Say Mike ... How did you get back to the Hospital ... if the traffic was so bad ... and there were no cabs? You ... You didn't walk did you?"

Mike could see Steve was upset and struggling with the side effects of the drugs and suddenly regretted telling him about Dan. He felt that Steve needed to rest but also felt that the young man was fighting rest for some reason. Mike's gut instincts were ringing alarm bells again. He reached for the nurse's bell and pulled it next to him, in case he needed to use it quickly. He felt helpless and useless all at the same time. Thinking about Steve's question, he suddenly had a thought, an idea that might bring some humorous relief to the young man even temporarily as only Mike's humor ever could. He smiled broadly and squeezing Steve's hand again he announced proudly.

"No ... I called Johnson over in Dispatch and asked for a favor ..."

Steve's eyes suddenly widened in surprise as he turned his head to stare at the older man, the cramps temporarily forgotten.

"You called Dispatch? What? You got a black and white to bring you back here Mike?"

Mike was smiling from ear to ear and nodded .

"Yes ... Actually it was Baker and Shapiro's patrol. They were asking for you too ..."

Steve cracked a wry smile at Mike's ingenuity and risked a gentle sideways shake of his head in mild disbelief.

"Man ... I hope Rudy doesn't hear about that ... He wouldn't be too pleased at you using a black and white as a taxi Mike ..."

Mike's idea was working beautifully and because of that he smiled wider.

"Oh he won't mind. Well it was in order to get his precious file and besides ... It WAS an emergency ..."

Steve stared blankly at Mike. The cramps were getting worse and he could feel the nausea building with them. His eyes were moistening again from sheer misery and he tried to blink the tears back as he struggled to understand what Mike was talking about

"An emergency?" he stammered, feeling confused, as then to his horror a stray tear broke loose and fell down his left cheek.

Steve didn't have a free hand to swipe at it with, as one was under orders not to be used and Mike still had a tight grip of his other one. Instead he was left with no other choice but to look away embarrassed as Mike reached over and wiped it away effortlessly with his thumb and then he heard Mike answer with a slight hint of humor in his voice.

"Yes ... An emergency. Well, you see there was ... an officer down ..."

Steve looked back at Mike realizing he was referring to his current mood and he knew that Mike had done it again. His face broke into a genuine smile as Mike chuckled and Steve couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped to join Mike's.

"Oh Mike ... your jokes are ... so bad today ... "

Mike was still chuckling but underneath his pride at getting Steve to smile again, still lay the helplessness he felt at not being able to take away all the difficulties and upset the young man was suffering from.

"I can always make you smile though, can't I ? Even when you don't think it's possible, huh?"

"Officer down ... " Steve repeated and gave a faint chuckle again. "Yeah ... Yeah you do. "

But Steve's humorous relief was short-lived as his stomach suddenly cramped violently and he tensed up much to Mike's horror. His breathing became erratic and his grip on Mike's hand tightened. In a pained voice, he pleaded with Mike.

"Ow! ... Mike, get the nurse back in here will ya? ..."

Mike pressed the call button immediately and then felt his own heart race as he watched Steve in difficulty.

"Steve talk to me ...what's wrong?"

"My stomach hurts ... Feel ... sick ..." Steve gasped.

"Your stomach? " Mike repeated, not expecting that particular answer and he stood up just as Rita hurried back into the room.

"Is everything alright? " she started to ask but then saw her patient in terrible distress and rushed forward to his right side to assist.

She knew by the pained and erratic breaths Steve was taking that he was in trouble. She looked at Mike for answers and he stammered nervously.

"He says his stomach hurts and he's feeling sick ..."

Rita frowned and could see her patient struggling and mopped his brow and face with the cool water to try and cool his raging temperature and bring him some relief.

"Steve, talk to me ... What's going on? How bad is the nausea?"

Steve remembered what Sylvia had said to him before she left about needing to tell Rita how he was feeling and even though it went against his nature to be open about such things, he admitted reluctantly.

"Bad ... I've got bad cramps in my stomach ... Rita? I don't want to be sick again ... It hurts my chest too much ... "

Mike looked helplessly at Rita for guidance as he cringed at the depth of desperation in Steve's voice. Rita met his gaze and spoke calmly.

"It's the drugs. They can be hard to take on an empty stomach. I'm going to need your help."

"Sure anything, whatever you need me to do ..."

The niggling cramps were still torturing Steve's stomach and he could feel his gag reflex starting to kick in as his head continued to swim from the effects of the recently administered drug. He heard Mike and Rita talking but hadn't hear what they had said. He feared that she was sending him outside and panicked further

"MIKE? ... DON'T GO ..."

Mike startled at Steve's yell and clasped his hand tighter.

"Steve, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere ..."

Rita turned her attention temporarily back to Steve.

"Do you think you're going to be sick Steve?"

Even as she asked the question, Steve violently gagged and swallowed back the bile, instantly regretting the action as it burnt his throat and chest on the way back down causing him to close his eyes as he winced and groaned louder than he intended to. Rita flew into action. Steve felt something soft pushed against his chest and opened his eyes to see a pillow now against the chest wound. She took his right arm and draped it across the pillow, careful not to touch his sore wrist and then spoke calmly.

"Steve? You have to trust me now dear. I've been a cardiac nurse for just over thirty years now. We need to roll you onto your right side and I need you to press the pillow against your chest. Mike will help you. It will ease the pressure on your stitches as you're being sick. Come on, you're not going to be able to stop that I'm afraid. Hurry onto your side."

Steve wasn't sure about the maneuver, especially knowing how much it hurt all the other times he lay on his side but there was something about this nurse that made him trust her. He could feel the bile threatening a return visit and so as they rolled him sideways, he held his breath awaiting the awful pain he expected to come but the pillow was soft against the wound and just as Rita had said, it didn't hurt like before. Rita grabbed Mike's hand and placed it across Steve's side onto the pillow and instructed him to rub the young man's back with his other one while she produced a basin. Steve didn't get a chance to thank her though as the movement caused another dizzy spell and the vomiting began again without warning. With nothing in his stomach, except bile, the retching soon turned into dry heaves and with each painful retch, Steve desperately pulled the pillow against his wound as he had been instructed to, feeling Mike's hand lending assistance. It did ease the pressure and also gave him something to do to take his mind off the whole highly embarrassing and unpleasant situation.

Rita held his burning forehead and spoke reassuringly through out the painful episode that lasted several minutes.

"Alright Steve. That's it. You're doing fine. Just ride it out now. It should stop soon. "

Thankfully after several tortuous minutes, the awful retching stopped and Steve slumped exhausted against the chest pillow until he was further over almost lying on his stomach. The position felt good. After weeks of having to lie on his back or sit uncomfortably in an armchair to try and get much needed rest, he felt comfortable at last. The pillow underneath him was soft and took the terrible pressure off his sternum and he wished suddenly that someone had told him about the pillow trick before. He lay with closed eyes, his breathing coming in exhausted gasps, his stomach sore and his energy fully depleted. He didn't want to move. He just wanted to sleep and forget everything for a while in his new peaceful and comfortable position. He felt a cool cloth being placed on his forehead and a gentle hand on his back as he heard Rita's voice in his ear.

"Steve? Are you ok now? ... Did the pillow help?"

Steve took several seconds to form an answer and when he did the words were slurred.

"Yeah ... It helped a lot ... Can I please ... sleep now for a little while? So ... tired ..."

"Of course you can dear. Rest now. I'm going to page Dr. Lowell and see if we can't get you something to stop the drugs making you so sick, alright? "

Steve merely nodded as exhaustion pulled him into a much needed rest and respite.

Mike came around the other side of the bed so that he could keep a closer eye on him and brought his chair with him. He watched as Rita tried to get a look at the chest dressings to inspect for further leakage after that horrific ordeal. Thankfully there was none. She looked up and saw Mike ashen in the face and her heart went out to him.

"Try not to worry Mike. He'll be fine. Rest is the best thing for him now. Hopefully while he sleeps, his temperature will start to come back down and we'll get him something for the nausea."

"I ... I just wish there was something more I could do to help him ... I feel helpless ..."

Rita placed a comforting hand on the older man's shoulder and smiled warmly.

"You're already helping just by being here for him. He needs all the help he can get right now and it's been quite obvious how much your presence here means to him. What Steve is going through is perfectly normal after such a life changing event but he hasn't come to terms with it yet and he is prone to depression at this stage in his recovery."

"Depression?"

"Yes, I'm afraid again it's quite common after a heart operation. He's been through a tough four weeks and it will be at least another two before he even starts to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just be here for him. If he wants to talk, listen and if he doesn't, then understand and be patient with him. He's come a long way but he still has a long way to go and this infection hasn't helped matters ... What will help him best right now and get him through the dark days is a strong support network around him. I AM going to need your help later to try and get some real food into him though. Can I count on you for that? "

"Sure, I can do that ... Whatever you need me to do just ask ... I'll help him anyway I can ... You see I ... well I haven't been much use to him the last four weeks but I'm going to make it up to him. Whatever it takes ..."

"Can you watch him for me please while I go and ring the Doctor. He should sleep for a while now."

Mike nodded and watched as Rita gathered up the basin and left the room. He leaned in and studied Steve's fevered face. Even at rest, he looked troubled and sickly. He stroked the young man's clammy forehead gently and spoke, his voice filled with emotion.

"You're going to be alright Buddy boy ... Do you hear me? Everything is going turn out just fine. You'll see. I'm right here with you Steve and I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon ... I'm staying right here with you ... where I should have been all along ... I'm so sorry Buddy boy ... So sorry ..."

Then with no one around to see, he broke down and covered his face with his hand as the feelings of helplessness, worry and guilt finally broke through and sought release.

 **A/N : Again sincere heartfelt thanks to all those still following and reading this story and for all those who left feedback. Your support is much appreciated.. :-)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 14

Exhaustion was taking its merciless toll on Steve and as the darkness started to pull him under he heard Mike's voice softly reassuring him that everything was going to be ok and felt a gentle hand stroking his forehead. The touch was soothing but the voice sounded a little off and then followed a faint, annoying sensation of the bed shaking under him, that wouldn't allow him to surrender fully to the sleep that he desperately craved. Steve wondered if it was his own body shaking from the awful ordeal he had just suffered that was causing it. He tried to focus on his own body but couldn't feel any shivers or tremors. Yet the bed was definitely moving ever so slightly.

It took Steve several seconds to garner enough energy to simply force his eyes open just a crack and when he finally did, he saw Mike through a blurry haze sitting next to his bed. The older man had one hand resting on Steve's upper left arm and the other seemed to be covering his eyes. He blinked to try and clear his vision and following the hand that covered the older man's face down to his elbow which rested on the bed, he saw that it was most definitely shaking. That revelation panicked the younger man and again he had to muster enough energy to make his voice work, which caused his words to come out slurring badly.

"Mi ... ke? Are ... you ... ok?"

Mike almost jumped on hearing Steve's voice. He saw Steve's eyes barely open and could see him trying to focus better on him and he wiped at his face in a panicked gesture. He had thought the young man was asleep and now realizing that he wasn't, he cursed his momentary weakness and tried to regain his composure. His voice was still thick with emotion, so he cleared his throat and spoke as normally as his voice would allow.

"Sure ... Sure I'm ok. I thought you were asleep."

Steve could tell he was lying. His voice sounded strange and he was avoiding catching his eye.

"Bed was ... shaking. You ... sure you're ok? You look ... upset."

"No, no ... it's just these Hospital lights. I don't know why they have to make them so bright. They really irritate your eyes you know? ..."

Mike was rubbing at his eyes as he spoke and Steve remained staring at him weakly as guilt rose inside him for having caused Mike to be upset. He had rarely seen him like that over the course of their partnership. Sure he had seen him upset plenty of times but like himself, Mike was always an expert at keeping his emotions strictly under control. While Steve had seen grief and upset in the older man's clear blue eyes on several occasions over the years, he had never witnessed a single tear being shed. He began to realize the depth of the sadness and guilt that Mike had been carrying around since his shooting. He once more forced his tired and fevered brain to think about how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot so to speak and if he were in Mike's place right now. Having witnessed such a violent and uncontrollable episode of retching and not being able to help, he would feel as hopeless and miserable as Mike was right now and again guilt for having caused Iron Mike to implode, added to his own misery. He had to make it right, if he was going to be able to sleep peacefully at all.

He forced his hand to reach over and he found Mike's jacket lapel. Tugging weakly at it , he spoke emotionally.

"I'm sorry Mike ... I guess this whole mess ... has been just as tough for you too, huh?"

Mike dropped his hand from his eyes and grabbed Steve's instead. He couldn't have the young man feeling bad for his own foolishness so with his other hand he picked up the damp cloth off the bedside locker and started mopping Steve's brow as he spoke, still way more unsteadily than he would have preferred to.

"Hey now ... None of this is your fault. I just ... I just wish I could do more to help you that's all ... I've really let you down these past four weeks Buddy boy and ... I'm not proud of that fact. I just wish my head had been in a better place these last four weeks ..."

Steve heard more breaks in the older man's voice and remained staring at him as he clearly saw moisture in Mike's eyes. He felt his own emotions starting to build as a result and knew he had to pull them both back from the brink and fast. He remembered earlier and spoke purposefully.

"Hey Mike ... I think you're going to have to ... ring and update Dispatch."

Mike stopped mopping Steve's brow and looked at him curiously.

"Why?"

"Because now ... There's TWO officers down." he stated, as a mischievous grin formed on his face.

It was Mike's turn to smile and then chuckle at the young man's humor.

"Oh, Wiseguy huh? Stealing my humor now. Is that it?" Mike said dropping the cloth and ruffling Steve's hair instead but he couldn't help laughing even more as he saw Steve's weak smile widen and heard a faint laugh follow.

Just then the door opened and Rita returned into the room carrying another small tray with a syringe on it. She heard the giggling and smiled as she did. It was the first time she had heard laughter from her patient since his arrival up to CCU and it confirmed her thoughts that Mike would be a welcome tonic for the young man. Coming closer towards the bed, she noted Steve's more relaxed demeanor and the two hands held together in a strong bond of friendship.

"Well you seem cheerier than the last time I was in here, I must say." she uttered in a warm tone.

"Me and Mike ... were just discussing emergency protocol ... " Steve replied, chuckling again as Mike joined in.

"Well there will be plenty of time to discuss emergency protocol later you two. Right now young man, you are under strict orders to get some sleep. I HAD thought you already were."

Steve closed his eyes wearily, the act of keeping his eyes open was using energy he just didn't have any more, but feeling very giddy still, he couldn't resist adding for fun.

"It's all his fault ... He was shaking the bed ..."

He giggled again as Mike answered humorously, ruffling Steve's hair playfully a second time

"Oh, telling on me now too huh?"

Then looking contritely back at the nurse, Mike added seriously in his defense.

"It won't happen again. "

That serious second remark only served to make Steve giggle even more and Mike could see Rita looking bemused at her patient's new found joviality. Once more he remarked to the nurse.

"I think it must be the drugs ... "

Rita smiled, knowing full well that while the drugs could be contributing to the giddiness, Mike was more than likely the main reason for it, but she didn't mind. It was good to hear it and she felt it would ultimately do Steve more good than harm.

"Steve, Dr. Lowell has instructed me to give you something for the nausea. I'm just going to put it into your IV on slow release so it should help you sleep without feeling sick for a while. How is the nausea now?"

Feeling a little giddy himself after the recent humor, Mike added mischievously.

"Oh, he's sick of it ..."

Again Steve's body shook with a fit of the giggles at Mike's remark but seeing the stern look Rita sent in his direction as the arm that held the cannula shook as well and made it impossible to inject the syringe, he quickly sobered and held Steve's arm steady for her to continue instead.

"Ok Smiley ... We better get serious now ... Too much laughter turns to tears as my old man used to say ..."

It took Steve several more seconds to stop the giggles from erupting again but when he did, he answered Rita's earlier question as she injected the syringe expertly and without any discomfort whatsoever.

"It's ok as long as I stay still ..."

"What about your stomach? Is it still cramping?"

Steve shook his head slightly.

"No ... It feels better now ..."

"Ok ... That's in ... Now you have to sleep young man. No more talking ok? Or else I'll have to get Mike to come back later when you're more rested. "

Rita smiled as she saw Steve's face turn instantly serious. She had a feeling that remark would quell his giddiness and hopefully get him to do as he was told. Mike too looked suitably admonished and as she pulled the sheet back over him and left the room , Mike leaned in again and spoke seriously.

"Ok hotshot. You heard the lady? Time to sleep. Ok?"

Steve nodded and smiled and with closed eyes, he settled the side of his face deeper into the soft pillow. But then as if he had a sudden dark thought, his eyes snapped open and he stared unnervingly back at Mike.

"Steve? What's the matter ? Are you feeling sick again?" he asked unable to keep the concern out of his voice as he reached for the bell in case he needed Rita back in there fast.

Steve's face softened however and he stopped Mike's hand from reaching for it and shook his head.

"No ... No I'm ok ... But ... are you going to be ok this time ... if I go to sleep?"

Mike smiled at Steve, and nodded his head reassuringly.

"Yes ... I'll be just fine ... No more bed shaking ... I promise."

Steve wasn't convinced and still studied Mike closely.

"You have my word Steve ... Now go on ... SLEEP! Nurse's orders, remember?"

Steve felt easier after Mike gave his word and he closed his eyes and settled better. Still, he listened carefully just in case as he lay there. The sound of the heart monitor was the only sound that broke the silence and within minutes he felt the long day catching up on him and he drifted off to sleep.

Mike sat watching him closely as he finally gave in to the rest he so badly needed. Steve's grip loosened and his breathing slowed and Mike placed Steve's hand back onto the bed and covered him with the sheet up to his shoulders. He leaned back in his chair and began his vigil as the room clock showed just after seven pm.

Several hours passed as Steve slept soundly. Rita had been in and out, checking on him and on her second visit at around nine pm, Steve's temperature had finally come down. While Mike was delighted at the development, Rita warned him that the worst was not over yet. The strong drugs were bringing it down but when they wore off there was always the possibility that it would go back up again. With all her years of experience, Rita felt that realistically it would be mid afternoon to early evening the following day before any real improvement in Steve's temperature would be seen. After all while he had been put on strong antibiotics, they had only been started early that afternoon and it would take at least twenty four hours for them to start being effective.

And so the rest of the night followed Rita's prediction. While Steve slept for most of it, there were times where he had woken up sweating, his head on fire and then times after the drugs were given, when it had come down and he had settled. Mike had slept on and off in the bedside chair beside him and witnessed the intense highs and lows of the long and tough night in Room five. The humor that had been there prior to his sleeping had long since been eroded as the sweats drained him and the fever tortured him.

On one occasion Mike had woken with a fright to Steve yelling. He had felt the young man's forehead and had become alarmed at the heat that had been emanating from it. Rita had arrived and confirmed that the fever had returned and had shot dangerously high. Steve was not very lucid that time, and his words were slurred and incoherent. All Mike could make out was the odd word that broke through Steve's feverish rant with any remnant of clarity. "No ... Stop ... Please ... " and the extra heart wrenching call of Mike's name and at another part Jeannie's. Mike wondered if he was reliving the night of the shooting and it had shook the older man to the core. With Rita's help that time they had had to sponge him down to try and relieve the fever but thankfully Steve was too far under to even know what was happening. More drugs and several spongings later and Steve's fever had finally come down and stayed down for a while. By the time dawn broke, both Mike and Rita looked fit to drop and while Steve was finally sleeping more peacefully, Rita had brought them both a cup of coffee to help them stay awake a little longer. Rita's shift finished at eight am and now at six am she sat and chatted with the man who she could tell in the short time she had known him was an important presence in Steve's life.

When Mike saw her enter with the two steaming cups of coffee he rubbed his hands together and spoke gratefully.

"Rita ... You're an angel. Do you know that? Coffee is just what I need right now ..."

Rita smiled and responded lightheartedly.

"I would imagine that sleep is probably more what you need right now but I have a feeling that's not going to happen until his temperature is down and stays down. Am I right?"

Mike chuckled at her perception.

"Something like that, yes. Mmm ... That tastes good ... Thank you. So Rita, tell me. How long have you been a cardiac nurse?"

"Oh about thirty one years this year. I've spent the last eighteen of them here in Franklin CCU. "

Mike whistled quietly.

"That's a long time. I've been a cop for just over twenty five now."

"Mike, how long have you known Steve?"

Mike smiled as her question brought the first day they had met back into his mind as if it were only yesterday. The first thing he had remembered noticing was the young man's taste in fancy jackets and ties. He had been fairly quiet and VERY polite. Not as rough and ready as some of the detectives he had ever worked with and smart! Too smart for his own good sometimes. He had quickly been labeled "the boy wonder" among the guys at Homicide and he frowned as he remembered the many teasings and pranks he had been subjected to in his first few months as the new boy in the bullpen.

Mike had been unsure of him at first when Olsen had given him his personnel file and he had seen how quickly he had risen through the ranks to finally make Assistant Inspector. The last thing he needed was a know it all college boy as a partner but Olsen had insisted that Mike was the right man for the job and what the boy needed to ground him a little and acclimatize him to life in Homicide. With little choice at first he had taken on the job and in spite of himself over the course of only a few days the boy had earned Mike's respect and admiration and over their partnership together had quickly become the son he had never been blessed with. Along with his precious Jeannie, Steve had become like family and now lay the task of letting his "son" pursue a different career, one where he could longer keep a close eye on him but also one that was not as dangerous and life threatening as the one he had just quit from and for that fact alone he was grateful.

He sipped at his coffee, lost in his memories and thoughts as Rita cleared her throat and tapped his shoulder gently, bringing him back to the present. He startled as he realized that he had been miles away and had rudely not answered Rita's question.

"Oh I'm sorry. I was miles away for a minute there. I guess ... I must be more tired than I thought. Oh yes, you asked me how long I've known Steve. Oh just over four years now. Doesn't sound very long when you say it like that, does it? But well ... when you work in SFPD every year feels a lot longer I can tell you. Irregular hours, few days off and watching each other's backs for a living, well you get to know your partner pretty well."

Mike seemed to drift a little again as he mentioned "watching each other's backs." _Nobody was watching Steve's back that night ... He had been sitting at the Hospital desk waiting for Barbara Ross to call instead of being in the car with his partner looking out for him._ That memory brought another lump to his throat and he shuddered subconsciously. Rita noticed it and saw the emotion in Mike's eyes.

"It must have been an awful shock for you when you heard he'd been shot and so seriously."

Mike snapped back again to reality at her remark and cleared his throat before answering .

"Yes ... It was touch and go for a while. You know ... I held him in the back of an unmarked squad car all the way here to Franklin. He was bleeding very badly and he felt so cold. I thought ... I mean I really thought for a few horrifying seconds that ... that he was going to die in my arms ... before we even got there ..."

A tear suddenly dropped from Mike's left eye and trailed down his cheek unchecked and Rita set down her coffee and placed a soothing hand on his shoulder.

"But he didn't Mike ... You kept him with you and he survived ... There's no way he'd ever quit on you. I can even see that and I've barely known you both any time at all. "

Mike finally sat up straighter and wiped at his cheek and forced a grateful smile at the kindly nurse.

"That's right ... He did ... But I failed him Rita. I couldn't handle it ... I didn't know what to say to him ... I didn't know how to tell him how sorry I was for not being there for him. For letting him down. I almost lost him and it chilled me to the bone. I focused on work and told myself I was getting justice for him. I told myself that was the best thing I could do. I left all the care and the comforting to my daughter Jeannie and I sent phone messages telling him I was asking for him. Can you believe that? DAMN PHONE MESSAGES! ..."

Mike fisted the arm of the chair in anger and the coffee swilled from side to side in his polystyrene cup and a small amount splashed out onto the front of his shirt. Feeling the hot liquid against his skin he quickly put down the cup and pulled out his handkerchief and started dabbing at it in frustration. Rita jumped up and fetched a wet cloth from the locker and handed it to Mike who graciously accepted it. As he sat trying to remove the coffee stain, a silence fell between them and Rita could tell that he was wallowing in guilt and regret. Mike eventually abandoned the task and scowled at the stubborn stain and spoke first.

"I guess it serves me right, huh? "

Rita placed a hand on his arm.

"No ... You have nothing to feel guilty about Mike. We all react differently to traumatic circumstances in this life and at those times we don't always make the right decisions but in this case you have a second chance to make it right. Steve needs you more than ever now and you can make a huge difference in getting him through the next crucial few weeks until he's back on his feet and he starts to see improvements. As my late husband used to say " You'll never see what's on the road up ahead of you if you spend your life looking behind you. "

Mike smiled and gratefully patted Rita's hand that still lay on his arm.

"Your late husband sounds like he was a very wise man. I'm ... sorry for your loss. "

"He was and thank you. He died three years ago now. It's funny how you tend to remember things they said after they're gone, isn't it?"

"Yes, yes I know what you mean. My wife died ... oh over nine years ago now and I still find myself quoting her all the time."

Rita smiled sympathetically.

"I'm sorry Mike. I didn't realize ..."

"Oh that's alright. I have a daughter Jeannie. She's studying in college in Arizona. And Steve there well ... He's kind of like the son I never had and between the two of them, let's just say my life is never dull ... "

Rita chuckled.

"Do you have any children Rita? "

Rita shook her head but yet didn't seem outwardly sad.

"No, Bob and I never had any. We were too career minded. I worked long hours as a nurse and Bob ... well he was a Doctor and a very fine one too if I do say so myself. We met here in Franklin, would you believe that? There really is such a thing as love at first sight, you know? We were very happy but never blessed. Now the patients are mostly my children. I watch them come in here sick and at their lowest point and I watch them recover and restart their lives stronger than ever. Most of them still keep in touch you know? I get Christmas cards from all over the States. It more than makes up for what me and Bob never had ... Oh listen to me rambling on ... Boring you to tears ... " she flustered as she picked up her coffee and went to stand up and go to do some more work but Mike stopped her.

"No ... Please, don't go yet. You're not boring me at all and anyway there were a few tears there before you even started talking. " he added lightheartedly.

Rita sat back down and smiled. There was something very special about this man that made her feel at ease with him.

"Do you mind me asking what happened to your husband?"

"A car crash ... He went out on an emergency call from the clinic and never came home ... He died instantly they said ... On impact ... A drunk driver ..." Rita spoke sadly and it was the first time Mike had heard any hint of melancholy in her usual upbeat tone since he had arrived into CCU earlier.

"I'm so sorry. My wife Helen ... She had breast cancer ... She only lasted just over a year from her initial diagnosis. It had spread too much ... At least that's what they told me. She was brave though. She fought it as best she could. Two surgeries and sickening bouts of chemotherapy but ... but it won in the end ..."

Rita and Mike sat forlornly together for several minutes, both caught up in the memories of their respective lost loved ones before Rita spoke up again, attempting to shift the mood back on a positive track.

"Oh dear! We have become morbid haven't we? I'm quite sure Bob NOR Helen would want us sitting here moping around, especially not when that young man over there is due to wake up soon needing our utmost attention. "

Again Mike smiled warmly. Rita's tone was back cheerful and positive and he found himself admiring her spirit and dedication to her patients.

"Yes, yes you're right. Listen about Steve ... You said he was prone to depression during his recovery. What exactly did you mean by that? Should we be watching out for signs of that?"

Rita's smile faded and she leaned closer to Mike, keeping her voice low in case Steve could hear.

"Mike ... He's ... already displaying all the signs of it."

Mike's face fell, as those words struck him like a brick.

"What?"

"Mike, he's been through quite a cataclysmic ordeal and it's changed his life drastically. He has already confided in me that he hasn't been able to even speak about the shooting to anyone yet. He's storing up all the pain, his uncertainty of what the future holds, the fear and the upset inside him. He hasn't accepted it yet Mike and until he does and until he releases all the hurt he's keeping to himself he isn't going to start moving forward."

Mike swallowed hard and sunk back further against the back of his chair and turned his face to stare at the motionless young man in the bed. He seemed to be carefully taking in what Rita had just said but ... _Steve had always bottled things up, all the time he'd known him. Sure, it wasn't healthy but that was how Steve had always coped with difficult things that had happened in his life. In his own way ... This time would be no different. He would come out the other side and talk about it when he was ready to ... Wouldn't he? ... Or could Rita be right? Was this time too much for Steve_ _ _to handle_ alone?_

Mike was tossing ideas around his head as he studied Steve closely. _Sure he had seemed very upset earlier, more so than Mike had ever witnessed but throughout the day he'd also laughed as always at Mike's bad jokes. If he was THAT depressed he wouldn't have laughed. Would he?_

Finally deciding he needed to voice his doubts he spoke.

"I'm not so sure Rita ... I mean sure he seemed a bit down earlier when I got here but ... well that was probably mostly my fault for going missing without telling him and the result of the fever and he's laughed at some of my jokes today ... AND what about before he went to sleep last night ... I mean you saw him didn't you? He was in good spirits then wasn't he? Steve has always kept things bottled up. That's just how he deals with things. He never gets depressed ... just thoughtful. He likes to work things out in his own head and in his own way and time. That's all ..."

"Mike I want you to seriously think about it. All the times he laughed today and was giddy ... Had he been given drugs just before hand? ... And did you instigate the humor or did he?"

Mike frowned as he thought back. _Steve had been fairly high on medication most of the times he had been in high spirits. He couldn't deny that. And most of the time he had been the one to instill the humor into their conversations ... But ... the last time ... Steve had joked himself!_

"Ok, ok Rita, I'll grant you that yes, most of the times he was giddy did coincide with recently given medication and yes I mostly instigated the humor HOWEVER, last night he was the one who joked, not me. Maybe he turned a corner last night."

Rita didn't want to take away Mike's hope but she didn't want him fooling himself either. It was important that he understood how serious the situation could potentially be. Having worked in CCU for so long she had seen many patient's meltdowns as the stress and upset became too much for them to bear alone. She hoped that wouldn't be the case with Steve but she honestly felt that Steve was close to breaking point and if it came to that, the young man was going to need Mike's support more than ever. She wanted him to be prepared for that possibility should it arise.

"Mike, I hope you're right. I really do ... but experience and gut instinct tells me he hasn't and you need to be prepared for the fact that he mightn't be as upbeat today when he wakes up as he was when he fell asleep last night. He's had a bad night and things are starting to get him down. Personally I think he's close to breaking point Mike and if that happens, he's going to need you more than ever. You also have to ask yourself was he making jokes last night for his benefit ... or yours?"

Mike glanced back at Steve and then looked back at Rita. _He HAD been upset at the time. Maybe she WAS right. Maybe Steve had been trying to cheer him up and wasn't actually feeling better at all. But if she was right ... and Steve WAS on the edge of some sort of emotional breakdown then the thought scared him to death ._

Looking desperately at Rita, Mike spoke with a definite tone of uncertainty in his voice.

"How can I help him?"

"Just be there for him Mike. If you can get him to talk about things all the better. You could help avert a major emotional crisis but at the end of the day nobody can force him to talk about it so when things get too much and they will I'm afraid. It's just a matter of time. Then just be there and help him through it. It won't necessarily be a bad thing Mike. I think if it happens it will be a blessing in disguise and he can then finally start to put things behind him and move forward without all the emotional baggage he's been dragging around with him. Next we'll have to get him to accept his scar but I already have a plan in place to help him with that."

Rita winked at Mike and smiled warmly just as the door opened and another nurse popped her head around the door.

"Rita, Dr. Kramer is on the phone for you at the nurse's station. He wants an update on Steve's condition."

"Duty calls ..." Rita chimed as she patted Mike's shoulder and left the room.

"Sure ...thanks for the coffee!" he called out after her, as she left.

Mike then pulled his chair back closer to Steve's bed and watched the young man sleep. Still lying mostly on his stomach, he seemed restful but there was still a thin sheen of perspiration on his brow. Mike reached over and laid the back of his hand gently against his forehead and felt a slight warmth returning and frowned. Stroking the young man's brow gently, he whispered.

"Oh Buddy boy ... What am I gonna do with you, huh? I guess I haven't really practiced what I've preached these last four years have I? I've never really opened up about anything that's bothered me and so I never really showed you a good example for that have I? But you're going to have to talk this all out Steve, no matter how hard it proves to be. Rita's right. It will eat you alive if you don't and I don't want to see that happen to you. You and I are going to have to talk it out Steve ... and the sooner the better."

Mike sat back again in his chair and rubbed a hand across his tired eyes. It was almost six forty and the sun was beginning to rise fully. It's tentative first rays were creeping through the blinds and casting their stripes of light across Steve's room. At least it looked like it was going to be a nicer day weather-wise than yesterday. Mike found himself hoping that in every other way this day would prove to be a brighter one for the young man in the bed, who couldn't seem to catch a break at all.


	15. Chapter 15

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 15

 **Phoenix, Arizona : 5:45am Sunday**

The Ford Bronco pulled up outside the Greyhound Bus depot at a quarter to six in the morning. Jeannie jumped out of the passenger seat and Mary Lou exited from the driver's side and helped her get her luggage out of the car. With a rucksack slung over her shoulder, Jeannie then dragged her suitcase up onto the kerb as Mary Lou came to help her.

"Ok Jean honey. You sure you've got everything?"

"Yes, yes I think so. Ticket, books and suitcase ... " she said carefully checking that her belongings were all accounted for. "Thanks so much for the lift Mary Lou. You're a true friend getting up this early on a Sunday morning to get me to the bus on time."

"Don't mention it. That's what friend are for but you have a long bus trip ahead. Did you remember to pack snacks for the trip?"

"Yes ... they're in my bag. You won't forget to tell Professor Richards that I had to go home, will you?"

"Don't worry. I'll remember. Family emergency right? "

"Yes that's it. Tell him I'll be back in time for the exam and that I have my books with me to study."

"How long do you plan to stay in San Francisco for Jeannie?"

"I don't know ... It depends on how bad Steve is. I need to be there for Mike and Steve right now Mary Lou. And anyway I wouldn't be able to think straight here studying for worrying about them."

"Did you get through to your Dad yet?"

Jeannie frowned.

"No ... I tried ringing him a couple of times last night and then again this morning but there was no answer. That makes me think he's staying at the hospital with Steve and if he stayed overnight then ... well Steve mustn't be as alright as he was letting on ..."

Mary Lou could see the worry etched on her friend's face.

"Won't your Dad go crazy if he sees you turning up there with your exams coming up in three weeks?"

"No ... No, he might be a bit annoyed at first but I'll make him understand that it's where I need to be right now and when he sees the books I brought and sees me studying while I'm there, he'll be alright with it ... Or at least I HOPE he will ..."

"Good luck with that! ... My Dad would have a conniption if I showed up at home this close to my exams on a mercy mission." Mary Lou stated quite seriously.

"Oh, Mike's bark is worse than his bite. Underneath that gruff exterior he's a real sweetheart and anyway one pot roast dinner and he'll be pleased as punch I'm home. I just hope Steve is alright ..."

Mary Lou noticed that Jeannie's tone had changed from one of humor to deep concern towards the end of her last sentence.

"You're really worried about this Steve guy aren't you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah ... Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me about you and this Steve, Jean. You're sure spending a lot of time with him lately." Mary Lou teased as Jeannie blushed.

"Mary Lou! I TOLD you. We're just very good friends and he's been having a tough time lately and he needs me and Mike right now. That's all. Steve is like family to us."

Mary Lou nodded her head but didn't look convinced.

"Ok honey. If you say so but if you aren't " interested" in him maybe you could introduce us sometime. He sure sounds AWFUL cute ..."

Jeannie swatted playfully at her friend.

"Mary Lou you are incorrigible."

"Why thank you. I do try." she replied humorously and they both laughed.

"When will you get there?"

"Oh, I should get there by around five. I'll head home first and leave my stuff there before heading for the Hospital."

"Ok well you take care of yourself Jean. I'm going to miss you and I'd just got used to having you back too. Who else is going to keep me on the straight and narrow if you're not here?" she added playfully.

"I'll miss you too honey. But promise me you'll stay out of trouble while I'm gone and I'll get back as soon as I can."

Before Mary Lou could answer, the Bus engine started and people at the stop started getting on board.

"Oh I'd better go. Thanks again Mary Lou for everything. I'll see you soon."

Jeannie pulled her friend into a hug and then hurried off to get her and her stuff on board the San Francisco bound bus.

As Jeannie mounted the steps onto the bus, Mary Lou called out.

"Have a safe trip and sit near the driver. Its the safest place on the bus! Oh and CALL me when you get there to let me know you got there safe, ok?"

"I will. Take care." Jeannie called back, smiling at her friend's over protective attitude and then got herself on board and was soon seated close to the driver as Mary Lou had requested. She got the window seat and laughed as she saw Mary Lou running alongside the bus waving at her as it slowly pulled away.

"Say hi to your Dad and Steve for me. Missing you already!" was the last thing she heard her friend yell as they turned around the corner and Jeannie waved a final goodbye.

Then she settled back in her seat for the long ride home. Her thoughts returned to San Francisco and she couldn't help worrying about what would happen when she got there. She only hoped she could make Mike see how important it was for her to be there for them and she worried that maybe Steve hadn't coped very well after she'd left for Arizona last weekend. He had insisted that he'd be able to manage but she had doubted his words. His appetite had still been far from back to normal and she had feared that without her there to coax the food into him as she had been, he wouldn't bother with it. Then there was the stiffness of his walk. He still walked gingerly and slowly, always holding his chest wound for dear life, his usual energetic step far from showing signs of returning and again without her there to insist he take his pain medication, she worried he would stop taking those too. The more she thought about all the things that had still been off about Steve before she had left the more guilty she felt about leaving him when she had, especially as Mike still hadn't been visiting as Jeannie felt he should have been by then. Perhaps her leaving him on his own had been the catalyst that had seen him ending up back in Hospital. She swallowed hard at that depressing thought and felt her heart race slightly. There were far too many hours ahead of her on the bus before she reached home and she knew she would only worry herself sick for the journey if she was to continue to dwell on everything that had been going on with Steve in her absence so sitting up straighter on the bus seat, she pulled a text book out of her bag and opened it up on the last page she had left it. She only hoped that studying would take her mind off it and make the hours on the bus go quicker.

 **Back in Room Five. Franklin Hospital San Francisco : 8:15am Sunday.**

Mike was still watching Steve as he slept, as Rita arrived back into the room with a much younger nurse following behind her.

"Mike, this is Lisa. She'll be looking after Steve for this shift. You'll both be in very good hands while I'm gone."

Mike shook the young nurse's hand and smiled warmly.

"Nice to meet you."

"You too Sir ..."

"Oh please, call me Mike."

While she seemed very pleasant, Mike worried about her youth. She looked straight out of Nursing school and he had felt more at ease with Steve being cared for by Rita and all her years of experience. He wasn't sure how Steve would react to the change in Staff either and that worried him but selfishly also he had felt more akin to Rita being of his own generation and had warmed to the older nurse and would miss her conversations and her reliable advice about Steve especially if he did reach the breaking point she had predicted might happen in her absence. But Rita looked exhausted and he knew she needed her rest. He watched as the two nurses went towards Steve's bed and Rita filled the younger nurse in on his condition. While they spoke, Steve squirmed a little in his sleep and Rita frowned and looked towards Mike.

"Has he been getting restless?"

"Yes, a little bit in the last half hour or so and he still feels very warm."

Rita checked Steve's forehead and spoke to Lisa who produced the thermometer and placed it under his arm. Several seconds later the two nurses checked the reading and Rita spoke with disappointment in her voice.

"Yes, it's rising again. I think he's due pain meds soon Lisa. Check his file and with Dr Kramer what dose he should get this morning under the circumstances, will you please, dear?"

The young nurse smiled and rushed out of the room and her energy as she went reminded him of the many times Steve would dash off on errands making him feel old by his boundless energy. He watched Rita's face and smiled as he felt she was thinking the same thing.

"So ... Will we see you again Rita? " he found himself asking almost hopefully.

"Oh don't worry. I'm back on shift at seven this evening and I'm still assigned to this room so I'll see you both again then."

Mike couldn't help the massive grin that broke out on his face at that news and he spoke nervously.

"Well I have to admit I'm glad to hear it. I think I'm ... well we're both going to miss you. "

Rita smiled at the change Mike made to his sentence and spoke reassuringly.

"Oh I'll be back before you know it and try not to worry. I know Lisa looks young but she's very good at her job and she's very enthusiastic. I've been training her in, the last few months and she's going to make a fine Cardiac nurse. I'm only sorry I have to leave before he wakes up. I had hoped to say goodbye before I went but I don't want to disturb him when he's sleeping. "

"Oh don't worry, I'll tell him you said goodbye and ... thank you for everything you've done for ... both of us." Mike said clasping Rita's hand gratefully. " I don't know what we would have done without you. You've been terrific."

Mike's words were sincere and despite her exhaustion, Rita felt torn about leaving them both.

"It's been my pleasure ... "

The two stayed smiling at each for several seconds before Mike flustered and let go of her hand.

"Well you better get home and get some sleep. I'll see you later and maybe this time I'll buy YOU a coffee to say thank you. How does that sound?"

"That sounds lovely. And maybe we can set the world to rights again over it?"

"I'd ... really like that."

"You know it wouldn't be a bad idea if you went home and caught up on some sleep yourself too you know, even for a couple of hours."

"Oh that's alright. I grabbed a couple in that chair last night and while this old back of mine is not too happy about that fact, I don't feel too tired yet. "

Lisa returned at that moment and spoiled the friendly flow of the conversation so Rita and Mike awkwardly said their goodbyes and Mike watched her leave. He watched Lisa checking other readings and writing in Steve's chart but apart from smiling politely in his direction once or twice, she didn't converse with him and Mike immediately found himself missing the older nurse and her warm friendly manner that had the uncanny ability to make people feel at ease even in this sterile and worrying environment. He sat back down in his chair and suddenly felt that it was going to be a very long day ahead until Rita returned.

For the next half hour, Steve's restlessness increased and Mike began to worry. Lisa hadn't returned for a while and she hadn't given him any more pain relief yet. At just after eight fifty Steve woke with a sudden start, and squirmed with a pained and fevered look on his face. As he opened his eyes, the glaring brightness assaulted them and he closed them just as quick. Mike stood up and adjusted the blinds to darken the room slightly and then hurried back beside Steve and spoke cheerfully.

"Well good morning Buddy boy. "

Steve cracked his eyes open and searched for the face that had accompanied the voice but even on finding it, he answered crankily.

"What's good about it?"

Mike frowned. He knew the foul sounding humor did not augur well and yet he tried to ignore the bitter tone.

"Well the sun is shining out there Steve. It's a beautiful morning in San Francisco for starters."

Steve scowled at Mike's upbeat statement. He felt lousy. His head felt heavy and hot. He had aches and pains in his stomach and both his chest and wrist were feeling very sore and to top that all off, the sticky pads on his chest that tethered him to the heart monitor were now itching like crazy.

"Well that doesn't do me much good in here Mike ... now does it? What the hell time is it anyway?"

"No I suppose it doesn't. It's just coming up to nine o'clock."

Steve's head whipped sideways to stare at Mike in disbelief.

"In the morning?"

"Yes. "

"Did I ... Did I sleep that long?"

"Uh huh. Well you were fairly out if it for most of it and your fever was going up and down. Actually it went pretty high at one stage and you were ... yelling in your sleep."

Steve's face fell as he heard that and he started to worry about what he could have been yelling.

"I ... I don't remember that ... "

Steve's continuing confused and frustrated tone was starting to really concern the older man. Mike had very rarely heard Steve sound so cross and cantankerous and it seemed very out of character for the normal easy going and pleasant young man he knew so well. However he had to take account of the fact that Steve had been through hell and back of late and also the fact that although he would never admit it, he was probably in a lot of pain and discomfort and that was not helping his current foul and unusual demeanor.

"You feeling lousy?" Mike asked bluntly and saw Steve squirm at the direct question.

"I've felt better ..."

As he spoke, Steve felt a sudden strange wetness on the front of his chest underneath him, where he lay against the pillow and he felt his heart race a little. The faster beeps from the heart monitor confirmed that fact and he spoke to Mike shakily.

"Mike? I think my chest dressing feels wet ... Can you help me ... turn back onto my back please?"

Mike heard the slight panic in Steve's voice and the quickened heart rate and felt his own chest tighten with concern.

"Sure. Ok, take it easy now. Here, wait until I get around the other side of you."

Mike rushed around the other side and then gently grasping Steve from behind he turned him as carefully and as slowly as he could until he was back on his back. Steve sucked in a pain filled breath at the movement and Mike noticed that he had his eyes closed and hadn't even attempted to open them. As he removed the pillow the first thing he noticed was the damp patch on the front of the young man's pajama top and he scowled and felt his own heart beating in tune to the rate on Steve's monitor.

Without opening his eyes Steve spoke nervously again.

"Mike? Is ... Is it bleeding?"

"I don't think so Steve. The stain's not red but I'm going to have to open your top to check, ok?"

Steve nodded but still didn't even try to look. The mention of a stain didn't sound good and he was basking in misery while he felt Mike undo the buttons carefully. As Mike pulled the damp fabric back Mike saw a mostly clear but partially yellowish stain on the dressing and almost sighed audibly with relief but instead he spoke reassuringly.

"It's ok Steve. You can look at it. It's not bleeding but there is a discharge of some kind leaking from it."

Steve opened his eyes tentatively and risked a downwards glance, remembering horrifically as he did, the horrible yellow and red stained swabs he had seen in Rita's hand the day before. To his relief the dressing didn't look as bad and he took several deep breaths to try and slow his heartbeat and stop the monitor from alerting anyone else to his discomfort.

"I better just call the nurse anyway though. It will still need cleaning."

Mike turned to go but Steve shot out a hand and stopped him.

"NO MIKE. Not yet. They'll see it soon enough."

Mike frowned at Steve's stubbornness but at the same time he felt that in Steve's current mood it wouldn't take much to upset him and so for now he went along with Steve's wishes, knowing that she would be due in to administer meds soon anyway and he could alert her to the need of a change of dressing then. But as he stood looking down at Steve, he noticed Steve wince and letting go of Mike's arm he cradled his right wrist instead

"Alright, ALRIGHT ... Take it easy will you? Is your wrist at you?"

"Just a little ... "

Steve's use of the "little" word again further annoyed Mike knowing full well that when Steve used it, it normally meant the opposite applied. But what happened next caught him by surprise. Steve let go of the wrist and starting itching at the heart pads on his chest as if they were irritating him badly and then watched as Steve started to try and peel one off! He quickly grabbed Steve's hand to stop him and pushed the pad back down.

"Hey, hey Buddy Boy. Don't touch those. You have to leave those alone. You'll have the alarms going off again. What's GOTTEN into you?"

Steve struggled weakly against Mike's grip.

"I have to take them OFF! They're ITCHING me like crazy Mike. "

Mike grew even more alarmed by the uncharacteristic desperation and unreasonable behavior of his former partner and he couldn't help recalling Rita's warning. He had a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach and his gut instinct was screaming at him that Rita had been right. The boy was in serious trouble emotionally and psychologically as well as the physical trauma that still remained. Unsure of what to say or do next as he struggled to keep Steve from removing the necessary monitoring equipment, he felt Steve's energy wane and his struggle stop. Then deflated and slumping back against the pillow, he shuddered and spoke heartrendingly.

"MIKE? ... Mike let go of my hand please ... You're ... hurting me ..."

Alarmed by Steve's admission, Mike softened his grip on Steve's hand and felt guilty, patting it now gently instead

"I'm ... sorry Buddy boy ... I ... I didn't mean to hurt you ... but you have to promise to leave those alone, ok? I'll get the nurse to look at them for you when she comes in alright?"

Steve merely nodded as Mike let go of his hand and he looked away towards the window and his eyes filled with a distinct longing to be out enjoying the morning sunshine instead of stuck there in misery being tortured and drugged up to his eyeballs. Mike's heart went out to the young man in the bed and he tried to bolster his spirits back up from the dark and gloomy place they had now sunk to.

"Hey Buddy boy. Come on ... Try to cheer up will ya? I know you're fed up with being stuck in here but try to keep your chin up, huh?"

Steve remained staring miserably out the window and so Mike tried desperately to think of something funny to say.

"Hey, you won't believe it but coming back in here yesterday evening I met a guy down in the lobby who asked me if I knew a good plastic surgeon. I told him " Do you think I'd still look like this if I did?"

Mike chuckled and nudged Steve playfully, but he just rolled his eyes at Mike's humor and only managed just a crack of a smile which didn't last long.

Mike sobered quickly.

"That bad huh?"

Steve shrugged.

"No ... No it wasn't. I'm ... I'm just not in the humor Mike ... Sorry ..."

"Ok Steve. That's ok. I understand. "

Before he could say anything else the door opened and Lisa arrived in with a syringe on a small medical tray. Mike watched Steve's reaction as he spotted her and frowned as he saw the young man's face turn visibly paler and watched him pull the open top across his chest to cover his dressings.

"Ah! I see you're awake. Hi Steve, I'm Lisa ..."

Steve looked horrified at the young nurse who looked like she was younger than Jeannie and turned to stammer at Mike.

"Mike? Where's Rita?"

"Now, now calm down. Rita's shift ended at eight, Steve. She had to go home and rest but she'll be back in this evening. This is Lisa. She's your nurse for today."

Lisa came forward and produced the syringe and Mike saw Steve tense up.

"Now Steve, you're due your painkiller. I'm just going to put it into your cannula and you'll be feeling more comfortable soon."

"NO! I don't want it. The pain's not that bad. I ... I don't need it yet."

Both Lisa and Mike startled at the adamant tone that surfaced from nowhere into Steve's voice. She glanced at Mike and then sweetened her tone a little as she turned to reassure her patient .

"Steve, you have to get your painkiller. Your temperature is going back up. We need to get a handle on it before it gets any higher. It won't hurt I promise. It will just take a minute and you'll feel much better.

Steve knew exactly how he would feel after it was given. He would feel out of it and dizzy and he wouldn't be able to think straight. He was SICK of feeling like that. Every time he was just starting to feel normal again they would inject him with more and he would be back to square one. But not this time. He'd HAD IT! Enough was enough. He couldn't take anymore. He'd rather suffer the pain.

He pushed the nurse's hand away from the tray as she laid it on the bed and Mike stepped closer, fearing what Steve's next actions would be in his current unpredictable state.

"I WANT to speak to Dr. Lowell NOW! I DON'T want to stay here anymore. I DON'T want any more medication until I speak to him. "

Mike spoke to try and calm him down.

"Steve, don't be unreasonable now ..."

"MIKE! STAY OUT of this!"

Mike almost recoiled at the anger he heard behind his reprimand. He could sense trouble wasn't very far off and began wishing that Rita was still here. Lisa seemed completely thrown by Steve's attitude and visibly wasn't sure how to counter it, lacking the years of experience that Rita had behind her. He felt sorry for the young nurse as she mumbled nervously.

"I'm sorry Steve ... but Dr. Lowell is currently off duty. Dr. Kramer is your Doctor on call today but I ... I really would advise that you let me give you your meds before I try to reach him. You're clearly in a lot of discomfort and you'll feel much calmer if you get them. "

Although she had tried valiantly to be diplomatic and yet remain sympathetically firm with her patient, despite feeling out of her depth on this one, Mike could already tell by Steve's changing facial expression that her choice of words had not sat well with him. Before he could counteract the inevitable, Steve had picked up the tray with the syringe on it and hurled it across the room as it banged off the far wall, yelling as he did and startling the young nurse who recoiled back beside Mike.

"I SAID I don't WANT them!"

"STEVE! THAT'S ENOUGH!" Mike found himself yelling back and he saw Steve startle at Mike's loud admonishment and watched as he shrunk remorsefully back against the pillows while he himself hurried along with Lisa to pick up the thrown things off the floor.

As both of them bent down and Lisa picked up the tray and Mike carefully picked up the now contaminated syringe off the floor and placed it back on it, he looked up and smiled kindly at the visibly shook nurse.

"I'm really sorry about that ... He never acts like that. I really don't know what's gotten into him today but he's clearly not himself."

"That's ok. Being sick and in pain can cause people to act irrationally. That's why he NEEDS to take his meds."

"Yes I know ... But I also know how stubborn he can be. Maybe you should just go get Dr. Kramer like he wants. He might be able to reason with him better. What do you think?"

"I'm not sure if Dr. Kramer can come just yet. He's currently doing his rounds downstairs. But I'll see what I can do ..."

"Thank you ... I'd appreciate it."

Mike smiled again warmly at the young nurse as she got up and took the tray with her and hurried out of the room before Mike rounded back on the young man in the bed, his smile fading and changing instead into one of his famous Stone glares.

"STEVEN KELLER! You had better have a good explanation for doing what you just did."

Steve swallowed hard, the fact that Mike was now mad at him, making things even harder for him to bear.

"I told her I didn't want them Mike. "

"Oh you did that ALRIGHT! Actually I wouldn't be surprised if half the patients on this floor know that by NOW, seeing as you yelled it so LOUD!"

Steve looked away embarrassed. He hadn't intended to yell or throw the syringe but she hadn't been listening to him. He didn't want to feel like that anymore. He was tired of feeling like that. His chest burned and itched where the pads were placed and he scratched at them furiously but Mike was too upset with him to even notice.

"And what about that poor Nurse, Steve? She was just trying to help you. How do you think that made her feel?"

Mike was piling the guilt on double thick and it was making Steve feel even worse.

"Look ... I'm SORRY ok? But she wasn't listening to me and anyway she looks so young. I mean ... is she even qualified?"

"Now LISTEN HERE! You of all people shouldn't say that. You were that young and fresh faced when you started in Homicide or have you forgotten that? Don't you remember how hard it was to be accepted and appreciated? You were young too but you were smart and well able for the job ... so you of all people shouldn't judge someone else in the same situation. Rita herself gave her a high recommendation and well THAT'S good enough for ME! And it should be good enough for you TOO!"

Steve was just staring wide eyed at Mike, his eyes clearly starting to water and his bottom lip quivering. He WAS sorry but NOBODY seemed to understand what he was going through. But how could they when they hadn't gone through it themselves. They WEREN'T going to understand. He had to accept that. He was on this journey alone, no matter how good other people's intentions were to help. He forced his voice to work and admitted defeat. He felt too far beyond caring anyway.

"You're right Mike ... I'm ... I'm sorry ..."

Mike saw the deep seated remorse and desolation clearly in Steve's eyes and his annoyance at Steve's earlier actions dissipated. He stepped forward and sat down on the side of Steve's bed and spoke in a more sympathetic and forgiving tone.

"That's alright ... I know you are and ... Well I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I know it's the pain and stress talking and not you. But things are going to get better soon Steve. I promise you ... but you have to hang in there for now and let these people help you. Ok?"

Steve didn't answer. He didn't want to. Everyone just wanted him to stay drugged up and compliant but he felt he couldn't do it anymore. He wished Mike would understand. He wanted him to help get him out of the Hospital like before but he knew this time Mike wasn't going to help him with that. He was on his own. Trying to keep his wavering emotions under control he spoke as calmly as he could.

"Mike? Could you get me a glass of water please?"

Mike stared at Steve curiously as he hadn't expected that particular sudden request.

"Sure ... Of course I can. You thirsty?"

Steve nodded but when Mike reached for the bedside locker, towards the jug of water that was there, Steve's voice halted him again.

"No Mike ... Can you get me some fresh water please? ... Cold if possible. That stuff's been there too long ..."

Mike patted Steve's arm.

"Sure ... I'll get some from the water cooler outside at the nurse's station but ... are you gonna be ok for a few minutes while I'm gone?"

Steve nodded again.

"Yeah ... I'll be fine ..."

Mike smiled warmly and got up.

"Ok, I'll just be a minute."

Steve watched him go and then as the door closed behind the older man he decided the only way he was going to get out of there was on his own two feet. The cannula, the pads ... Everything was itching him and annoying him and he had to remove them. But he knew the alarm would go off as soon as he did and they would come running in and stop him. Very gingerly he sat up and reaching up he pulled the plug from the wall as the monitor switched off, hoping that it would stop the alarm from sounding.

He didn't have long before Mike would return so he pulled the pads off his chest quickly, ignoring the way his skin burned and went on fire as each adhesive strip pulled away from his skin. No alarm sounded much to his relief so he moved on to the cannula. He hesitated for a few seconds on the IV but then pulled the needle slowly from his arm as he felt his stomach churning. Then throwing the sheet to one side with his good arm he shifted his legs sideways until they were off the side of the bed and it took every last bit of energy he had left to pull himself into a sitting position at the edge without using his sore wrist. The forced energy he had used already combined with his rising temperature had caused the back of his pajama top to become quickly soaked with perspiration.

Now teetering precariously on the edge of the bed he was going to have to risk getting onto his own two feet. He felt incredibly weak and really wasn't sure if his legs would even hold him up. But there was only one way to find out and with time running out it was going to be now or never.

Mike approached the water cooler and saw Lisa behind the nurse's station on the phone.

"Please, I need to speak to Dr. Kramer as a matter of urgency. Could you fetch him for me please? This is Nurse Collins from CCU regarding his patient Steven Keller ... Thank you ... I'll hold ..."

She saw Mike approaching and thought something was wrong. Holding her hand over the mouth piece she went to ask, but Mike had seen her concerned look and spoke first as he reached the water cooler.

"He just wants some cold water that's all ..."

Lisa just smiled a relieved smile back at him but then saw the monitor connected to Steve's room go black and a sharp beeping alarm started. She looked perplexed at it and tapped it in case it was just a glitch of some sorts but then when it didn't come back on she grew concerned again. Mike saw her looking at something behind the desk with concern.

"What's the matter?"

"Well that's funny. One of the heart monitors just went off ... "

The sinking feeling in Mike's stomach returned full force and he spoke anxiously.

"Is that the one in Steve's room?"

Lisa checked the room numbers and then glanced back up at the older man in horror.

"YES! ..."

Mike dropped the polystyrene cup he had been about to fill and turned and charged back towards Steve's room, shouting back as he did.

"He didn't want water at ALL! It was a decoy. He's going to try and LEAVE by himself!"

Lisa dropped the phone she was holding and raced after him.

"Mike we have to STOP him! He's far too weak. He won't get far but he'll hurt himself in the process.

Mike's heart raced as he barged through the door to Room five and saw Steve attempting to stand.

" STEVE! ..." Mike shouted, racing forward desperately as he saw Steve's legs buckle on contact with the floor and watched in horror as in seemingly slow motion, Steve toppled and fell backwards ...

 **A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger guys! I will try to update this again soon :-) I have made every effort to research all aspects of this story to keep it as real as possible but with not living in the States and relying on Google for most things some discrepancies may occur. Sincere apologies if you notice any..x**


	16. Chapter 16

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 16

Mike dashed forward and luckily just barely managed to throw his arms around under Steve's arms as he fell back but in his urgent bid to stop the young man from hitting the floor, he grasped Steve's chest and caused a blood curdling yell of pain to erupt from Steve's lips.

"OH! ... I'm sorry for hurting you Steve but I had to stop you from falling ..."

Steve's body was dead weight and was pushing back on top of him but after the yell, Mike managed to lower his arms so that they were now around the young man's waist instead. Lisa was only seconds behind Mike and witnessed the fall as well.

"OH MY GOD! ..."

She raced forward too and sighed with relief as she saw Mike catching the young man as he fell. Mike was struggling to get Steve back up straight and knew that without help he wouldn't have a hope of getting him back up onto the bed, so instead Mike made the split second decision to lower himself and Steve as gently as he could down onto the floor until more help arrived. Lowering himself backwards with Steve still in his arms, proved tricky and as he landed on the floor, with his legs stretched forward he felt his bad knee stiffen painfully. As a result, he lowered Steve down in front of him a little faster than he meant to and the movement caused an uncontrollable wave of nausea to hit Steve and from the hold Mike had on the young man's diaphragm, he felt Steve gag violently. Fearing the worst, he called desperately to Lisa.

"LISA, hurry and get that bowl QUICK. I think he's going to be sick!"

Lisa flew into action but Steve was unable to stop the inevitable and before she could bring the basin to where it was needed, Steve had vomited. The first swell of nausea thankfully hadn't produced much as Steve's stomach was running on virtually empty but there was enough to cause Steve intense embarrassment as he now noticed he had got the side of Mike's jacket as well as himself. He was seated now on the ground, with Mike sitting right behind him providing support and Lisa kneeling in front holding the bowl, as a few more painful retches followed.

"Alright, that's ok Steve. I've got you ... You're going to be ok ... " Mike spoke encouragingly, figuring there would be enough time later to fully reprimand and try to understand the young man's foolish actions.

As the nausea subsided, Lisa started to clean up as Steve slumped back against Mike's chest, drained, mortified and miserable. Mike could feel him trembling and felt his concern for his former partner grow by the second. He wasn't sure if it was being caused by the fact that now seated on the floor he was feeling the cold, by the fever that from his new close proximity he could still feel raging through Steve's body or by the visible and uncharacteristic fragility of Steve's over worked emotions. He could feel against his chest, Steve's body burning up and his soaked through top and yet Steve's hand that now lay on the floor next to Mike's felt icy cold. Now not needing to keep a hold of Steve's waist as there was no more threat of Steve falling, he reached up and felt Steve's forehead and swallowed hard as he felt the heat coming from it. He could also feel Steve's heavy breathing and saw Lisa's worried glance sent in his direction as she cleaned up the situation as best she could. As another intense shiver wracked Steve's body, his shaky and wavering voice followed weakly as he noticed Lisa wiping Mike's jacket along with the front of his top.

"Oh God Mike ... I got your jacket ... I'm so sorry ... I ... I couldn't stop it ..."

"It's ok Steve. It's just a jacket. But what in God's name were you thinking of? Did you really think in your current weak state that you could get very far without hurting yourself worse?"

Although Mike's tone held distinct disapproval and disbelief, he kept as much of the annoyance he was feeling at Steve's actions out of his voice as best he could. He could feel that Steve was currently on very shaky ground, tolerance wise and knew a wrong word or move could send Steve's wavering emotions into complete meltdown. It was obvious to anyone right now that Steve was at the end of his tether. He had coped with too much and now his uncharacteristic behavior didn't augur well for a happy outcome. Rita's prediction had come true and Mike knew deep in his gut that this was the lowest point Rita had spoken about. He worried inwardly that he wouldn't deal with it the right way and again found himself wishing that Rita was here with him now instead of the youthful but efficient Lisa but as she wasn't, he was going to have to trust his gut and do the best he could.

"I ... I just didn't want to be here anymore Mike ... Nobody ... understands what I'm going through ..."

That statement chilled Mike to the bone. _Is that what the young man really thought? Was he feeling so lost and misunderstood that he wanted to escape from them all?_ _Did he really believe they were all working against him or was he just so low that he couldn't see the forest for the trees as Helen used to often say._ Mike had to help him and with a new found courage Mike realized that now was that time. Feeling Steve's trembling increase, Mike suddenly knew what he had to do. He looked at Lisa and spoke calmly.

"Lisa, could you give us a few minutes please?"

Lisa looked up confused at the older man as she finished cleaning up and placed the soiled papers in the trash bin.

"Mike we need to get him back into bed and checked over ..."

"Yes, yes I know we do but we're going to need extra help for that. Could you try and locate Dr. Kramer again just for now please and I'll watch him in the mean time."

From behind Steve, Mike sent a wordless glance at Lisa and inclined his head towards Steve in a telltale gesture and he watched her professional facade soften and much to his relief, he felt that she had understood his request. Picking herself up off the floor, she spoke to Mike as she did.

"Sure, I'll get help and locate Dr. Kramer but it will take a few minutes. Will you two be ... alright while I'm gone? "

"Yes, we'll be just fine ... Won't we Steve? "

Steve wordlessly nodded and Mike mouthed "thank you" to the young nurse as she passed him heading for the door. Lisa smiled at him as she went. She cast one more brief, worried look back at the two men on the floor by the bed before exiting quickly outside to page Dr. Kramer again and get more assistance for them. Once she was gone, Mike leaned his head slightly to the right so that he was closer to Steve's left ear and he whispered in a low but firm tone.

"Steve? The nurse is gone now. It's just you and me. You need to let it go Buddy boy. All that upset you're holding in. I can feel it Steve. It's coursing through you like a time bomb waiting to explode. You need to release it. You're not going to get past this until you do. Come on now ... Do as I tell you ... "

Steve's breaths were now coming in heaving gasps as he heard Mike's words but just as Mike feared, he was not complying with Mike's wishes. The boy was almost as stubborn as he was! Mike could tell he was fighting it with every last drop of will power he had left but Mike's gut was telling him that wasn't going to be possible for much longer as he felt Steve's energy reserves running out rapidly as the fever, the pain and his current humiliating condition took their heavy toll. Before he could speak he heard Steve's troubled voice answer.

"I ... I can't Mike ... I don't ... want ... to ... I can ... handle it ..."

Mike frowned and felt that despite the young man's words the inevitable was only seconds away now as Rita had expertly predicted. He remembered her wise words and advice and grew strength from the memory. Again he whispered a second time into Steve's ear, determined to get through to the young man if it was the last thing he ever did and knowing that while Lisa would respectfully give them a few minutes peace as he had wordlessly requested, she also would have an obligation as a medical professional to not leave them too long, so their time to deal with this was limited at best.

"I know you think you can and I also know why you don't want to do what I asked you to. This is me, remember? I don't show emotions too good either and I haven't ever shown you a very good example by that have I? I never explained it to you either, have I? Do you know how many grown men I saw cry at Iwo Jima? Too many Buddy boy. Bleeding, dying, hopeless, needless suffering that drove grown men to their knees. I cried then too ... many times ... Too many times ... But it was accepted there ... Everyone felt the same. But when we got back, those of us who were lucky enough to have made it back, well ... It wasn't so accepted anymore. We were marines. It wasn't right, wasn't brave enough, wasn't tolerated ..."

Steve closed his eyes as he heard Mike's whispered words and the angst and heartbreak they held. Mike had rarely spoken before of his war experiences. A little bit every now and then over their partnership but mostly where it related to cases or in a more general context. But hearing now the deep and profound effect that it had had on Mike, he now understood better why the older man had never showed his feelings very often. Steve had never been through such horrific war experiences such as that but he had had enough upsets and tragedies in his short span of life enough to encourage the bad habit he had developed of burying his pain deep inside and of not showing his emotions outwardly as a result of those tortuous memories. Something about Mike's revelations made Steve's emotions unravel even more and not only the pain and the torment of the past four weeks but also long buried grief and upset were being forced to the surface until he felt as if he was now almost choking from the build up of upset that filled his throat. He forced more shaky words past the growing lump in his throat.

"Mike ... Stop ... Please ... Don't ..."

Mike knew his words were working so bolstered by that fact he kept going, the goal now close at hand, ignoring Steve's heartfelt plea ultimately for the young man's own good.

"No Steve. You need to hear this. It's ok to be upset. It's ok to be afraid. But it's not OK to hold it inside until it consumes you from the inside out Buddy Boy. You're right you know. Of course we can't understand one hundred percent what you're going through without having lived through it but we don't need to have lived through it to know how to help you. Rita knows what you're going through Steve. She's helped others, just like you, get through times like this and she'll help you too if you let her. The help is there Buddy boy but you have to ACCEPT it first. For God's sake ... stop fighting it Steve. It's not going to go away until you give it a voice. Let it go Steve ... Release it and then you'll start to move forward ... Trust me Steve ... Come on ... I'm right here with you and no matter how much you think you are, you're not in this alone. People care about you Steve. You owe it to yourself and them to do what's necessary ... Nobody's going to judge you for it, least of all me ..."

Steve couldn't control it anymore. He lost the battle and now his body took control. As Mike kept talking his body shook with racking sobs of despair and while no sound left his lips, the shaking said it all. He felt Steve's head fall back against his shoulder and could see from the side the tears falling silently down his cheek. The mournful sound of his heaving breaths and the choking gurgles coming from his throat that was so close now to Mike,were the only audible sounds of Steve's distress and Mike rubbed his hand along Steve's left arm in soothing strokes as the pain and heartache that had built up inside the sick young man finally found merciful release.

Mike sat quietly murmuring comforting words in his ear as the torment continued. Despite the passage of mere minutes, Mike felt as if an eternity had passed before Steve's body stopped shaking and he seemed to run out of energy and tears. He was now gasping for breath and swallowing with difficulty, but Mike somehow felt assured that the worst moment had passed and that Steve had survived the lowest and darkest moment in his recovery. Sure it had taken its heavy toll but yet strangely Steve felt almost lighter after the episode as if all that hurt had left and now Mike felt his proper healing could begin. Steve had gone worryingly quiet and had drooped his head to the right side, now bereft of anything resembling energy and Mike felt it was time to speak again.

"That a boy. You did it Steve. That was a good thing Buddy boy. You reached the lowest point in your recovery and you survived it! Now the only way is up in more ways than one. We better get you off this cold floor before you turn into an ice cube, huh?"

Steve didn't answer and Mike knew he had to bring him back around now out of the misery.

"Steve? Are you able to move?"

After several more gasped breaths and painful swallows, Steve spoke weakly.

"No ... I don't think so ... Sorry Mike ... I feel so weak ..."

"Ok, that's alright. But I think we're going to have to call for help ..."

That statement drew Steve's head weakly around to look behind at the older man, his pallor and tear streaked cheeks clearly visible and distressing to see.

"What? ..."

"My left knee is after locking in this position. I don't think I can get up either ..."

Steve's facial expression changed to one of worry for the older man and it helped him find his normal voice again although he was still having trouble making complete sentences without stopping for breath in between.

"Oh God! ... That's my fault ... I'm sorry Mike ... Are you ok?"

"Oh sure. Don't worry. I'll be fine once I get up and shake it out. I'm just not used to this position on the floor that's all ..."

Steve didn't look convinced by Mike's reassurances and looked down at Mike's left knee locked out in a painful looking straight position to his left on the floor but before he had time to feel guilty for it, he startled as he heard Mike starting to chuckle and felt the older man shaking from the giggles behind him. Looking around again in surprise Steve asked curiously.

"What? What's ... so funny? "

That made Mike laugh even more and then he finally explained amid fits of the giggles

"Well Steve, I guess this means we actually ARE LITERALLY two officers down now and needing assistance, huh? " Mike added humorously and started to laugh again as the final word left his lips.

Mike nudged Steve as he saw the look of worry change to one of mild amusement and then as he felt Steve chuckle weakly, he truly believed the worst moment for them both had passed successfully.

"Aw Mike ... You're something else. You know that? You always manage to make me laugh even after THAT! ..."Steve stated affectionately.

"Well that's what friends are for ... You ah ... feel any better for it? "

"Yeah ... I think so. My eyes and my throat are a little sore though ..."

Reaching awkwardly into his trouser pocket, Mike retrieved his handkerchief and offered it towards Steve's good hand.

"Here ... Take this Steve ..."

Steve saw what was offered and looked gratefully behind at the older man before wiping at his face weakly with it.

"Thanks Mike ... I ... Well I don't know how I would have managed without Jeannie and you up to now since the ... Since that night ..."

"Still cant say "shooting " yet, can you?"

Steve shook his head and quickly Mike continued.

"Ok, never mind. You've had enough therapy for one day huh? But we're going to talk about that again later when you're feeling better, alright?"

Steve nodded again and then spoke a little hesitantly.

"Mike? You know when I fell over? "

"Yeah."

"I ... I ah ... think I hit my sore wrist on the way down ..."

Mike sat up straighter and grabbed out his right hand to study Steve's right wrist and saw another red stain running horizontally along the clean white bandage.

"Uh oh ... You've really done it now. Dr. Kramer is NOT going to be pleased with you for that ... but never mind, we'll get you sorted before you know it. Just no fighting them this time. OK?."

"Yes Sir " Steve answered playfully and chuckled as he felt Mike tickling him gently from behind.

"Hey ... Watch it. You're in a very vulnerable position for getting tickled right now Buddy Boy. Less of the cheek, hotshot. "

Steve giggled and squirmed slightly away from Mike's harmless threat. He had however, heard the firmness in Mike's previous instruction but it didn't matter anymore. He felt far too weak to fight anything anymore anyway. Mike was right. He always was. The only way he was going to get out of the Hospital and get his life back to some sort of normality was to do what he was told and put up with the temporary discomfort that involved. He marveled at how, having lost the burden of upset and denial that he had been unwittingly carrying around like a stone around his neck since the shooting, that fact became decidedly more clearer. Knowing that soon, the drugs would taint that conviction he decided to revel in it for the time being instead.

With that, the door opened and many hurried footsteps entered the room along with several different voices, one of whom they both recognized as Dr. Kramer's and that was the one barking instructions. Hurrying around to where they were seated on the floor, Dr. Kramer reached them first and quickly knelt down in front of them. He was closely followed by Lisa and two burly male nursing assistants. Mike marveled at how small the previously spacious Hospital room looked when there were so many people now crowded into it.

"STEVE! I'm surprised at you. What kind of stunt was THAT? You could have really hurt yourself you know if Mike here hadn't been so quick to catch you when he did. What possessed you to get out of bed like that?" Dr. Kramer ranted in frustration .

Mike felt Steve tense up and felt his previous lighter mood darken as Dr. Kramer reprimanded him so fiercely. He didn't answer but remained worryingly quiet and Mike felt sorry for him.

"Hey Doc? Why don't you cut the kid a little slack, huh? He's sitting on the floor, freezing to death, burning up with a fever. His chest is sore, his wrist is bleeding and he has vomit down his top. Under the circumstances, don't you think that maybe now is not the time for a lecture for something he did in a drug fueled moment of anxiety huh? Besides ... it won't happen again. Will it Steve?"

Steve had looked around gratefully at Mike as he heard the older man jumping to his defense and giving the Doctor as good as he was doling out and he saw Mike catch his eye and wink at him in reply. He then turned back towards Dr. Kramer looking slightly embarrassed by his actions and feeling sorry for all the trouble he had caused everyone concerned and muttered apologetically.

"No ... No it won't happen again. I guess I just ... wasn't thinking straight ..."

The Doctor looked decidedly taken aback by what Mike had said but at the same time his words couldn't be argued with. Feeling that the older man had made a valid point, he turned and addressed Steve a bit more compassionately.

"Well I'm glad to hear it Steve. Mike's right. Let's just get you sorted and back into bed as quickly as possible and see what needs fixing, shall we? First we'll get this soiled top off you, ok?"

Between the Doctor and Lisa, they pulled Steve away from Mike just enough so they could remove Steve's top and Mike saw Steve subconsciously again cover his dressing instinctively. Both of them then sucked in deep breaths as Dr. Kramer spoke in an alarming tone.

"Dear God! Why wasn't that noticed? Nurse Collins?"

Mike leaned forward to see what they were talking about and to his horror saw five round red raw patches on Steve's chest where the pads had been attached. He swallowed hard and then looked at Steve whose teeth were now chattering even more since the loss of his top. Mike watched Lisa stammer in response.

"I .. I'm sorry Doctor. I hadn't gotten around to checking those yet ... "

Mike was just about to step in and defend her by saying that Steve had only started complaining about the pads being itchy before the "incident " happened but before he got the words out, Steve's chattering voice spoke first.

"It wasn't her f ... f... fault. I ... I d ...d ... didn't tell her ..."

Mike beamed proudly at the young man as he saw the Doctor scowl briefly at Steve but seemed to forgive the nurse at the same time. He also saw Lisa smile at Steve for his defense of her and saw her fetch a blanket and place it around his shoulders carefully to ward off the chill.

"Where's his chart? " the Doctor demanded and Lisa handed it to him.

Searching through the pages back as far as the beginning he read some lines and then seemed to fume visibly.

"Oh for Heaven's sake. This happened the last time. He has a skin allergy to these types of pads! Doesn't anybody read these files anymore? Who put these on him? "

Lisa stammered again.

"I think they've been on him since the Theater yesterday Doctor. "

The Doctor shook his head in annoyance and then audibly softened his tone as he turned back to Steve.

"I'm sorry about that Steve. We'll get some cooling gel on those spots and get some cloth pads on you instead. "

Steve shook again and grabbed the blanket up at his neck to try and get some heat back into himself. The Doctor noticed and frowned, placing a hand on his forehead as he did.

"He's burning up again. Right, let's get him up off the floor now."

The two burly male assistants came forward and pulling him slightly away from Mike a second time, one took him carefully under the arms and the other took his legs and they carefully lifted him back up onto the bed. When they had deposited him there safely and the two nurses and Dr. Kramer were bustling around him, Mike held up a hand to the second of the two muscular men.

"Could I get a hand up too please? This knee of mine is acting up a little."

The man hauled Mike up and he thanked him and shook the knee a little and rubbed it to loosen the stiff joint. His other leg had succeeded in falling asleep from the length of time he had been seated with Steve on the floor and now as the pins and needles pulsed in full force, he winced and walked a little up and down at the end of Steve's bed while the sensation wore off. Lisa saw him and approached him.

"Are you ok Mike ? Did you hurt yourself when you caught him that time?"

Mike waved off her concern.

"Oh no ... I'm fine but thanks for asking Lisa . Just these old bones are not as supple as they used to be. Wait until you get to my age, then you'll know all about it. "

Lisa smiled and then offered him a plastic bag to place his soiled jacket into.

"Here, you might want to put your jacket in this for now ..."

"Oh good idea ... Thanks ..."

Mike removed the jacket carefully and placed the offending article in the bag and tied the top for effect. He watched then as Lisa returned to her place beside the Doctor. When Mike's legs and his afflicted knee had fully recovered several minutes later, Mike returned to the end of Steve's bed and watched the hustle and bustle still continuing around him. The Doctor was inserting a new cannula and was mildly scolding him for removing the old one and the task was proving difficult. Mike could see Steve's discomfort clearly all over his face as the Doctor moved the needle in Steve's arm from side to side to access a viable vein. Mike moved behind the Doctor and eased his way up the side of the bed until he was within reach of Steve's hand that was currently choking every last wrinkle out of the sheet beneath it, in his valiant attempt to hide his misery from the others. Seeing the white knuckles and the newly formed moisture in the young man's eyes, he leaned over and caught Steve's eye and whispered within the young man's earshot.

"You do know I'm from Homicide don't you? "

The unusual and strange question caught Steve off his guard, yet it took his mind off the task going on the other side of him.

"What? "

Smiling as he saw Steve's confusion he continued in a whispered tone.

"Well I don't want to have to arrest you for throttling the life out of that poor defenseless sheet, now do I ?"

Steve looked momentarily confused but then saw Mike looking at where his good hand lay and he finally got the joke but his smile didn't last long as the Doctor finally found the correct spot and pushed the needle into his right arm, causing Steve to wince.

"Hey Steve, did I ever tell you the joke about the bed? "Mike continued to further distract Steve as best he could.

Steve shook his head politely but his gritted teeth and pained voice told the real tale.

"No ..."

"Well that's because it hasn't been made up yet! .. "

Steve groaned at the really bad joke and then as he heard Lisa and the two men in the room laughing at it, he looked at Mike in amazement at how he could reduce a room to laughter with such a simple, yet well placed joke.

"You want to hear another one? "

"No, no thank you Michael ... I've heard enough of your jokes for one day." Steve politely declined but Lisa piped up with a cheerful " Sure " much to his dismay.

"Please don't encourage him ..." Steve joked at the young nurse before Mike interceded.

"Hey, don't turn off my audience. Ok here's another one. Why did the bed spread?"

Lisa shook her head. "I don't know ..."

"Because it saw the pillow slip ..." Mike ad-libbed to several more hearty laughs as Steve groaned again but the laughter proved to be contagious and he soon joined in on the good humored exchange.

Even though those in the room asked him for more, Mike smiled politely and declined.

"No, sorry folks. As Steve here so rightly said I have used up my quota of bad jokes for one day. Isn't that right Buddy boy?"

"And then some " Steve added teasingly however he knew the lighthearted banter had taken his mind of the unpleasant ministrations and inwardly felt blessed to have Mike at his side right then.

With the IV successfully reconnected, over the next half hour, he had to suffer the chest wound being cleaned and redressed, his wrist being rebandaged and the special gel being applied which finally cooled the incredibly annoying itchiness of his chest. New cloth pads were applied and his heart monitor was reconnected. As Dr. Kramer replaced the plug he shot another strange glance in Steve's direction. When Steve saw the Doctor at the plug he blushed guiltily again.

"Oh ... sorry about that ..."

This time much to Steve's relief the Doctor smiled.

"Nice try ... Unfortunately for you, that might stop the alarm going off in here but there's a fail safe alarm that still goes off at the Nurse's station when it's disconnected ... I have to admire your ingenuity though. "

Steve grinned as he suddenly realized how he had been discovered so quickly but then knew that if he hadn't been, that things could have turned out a lot worse so he was grateful that there were fail safes in place to protect wayward patients from their own destructive behavior.

"Ok Steve, I'm going to leave you in Lisa's capable hands now. Are you going to be on your best behavior from now on? Or do I need to stay until the pain meds are given this time?"

Steve smiled awkwardly.

"No, I'll be good ... Besides ... he won't let me be anything else." he said humorously pointing towards Mike.

Mike reached over and ruffled Steve's sweat soaked hair.

"That's RIGHT and you better not forget it " he joked back.

"Ok, I'll continue my rounds so. Hopefully the injection should bring that fever down for the last time with any luck. It's been trying it's best to stick around but you've had a sufficient amount of antibiotics by now and the discharge from your wound is gradually becoming clearer so that's all very good. Get some rest and do as the nurse or Mike over there tells you, OK? "

"Ok Doc ... Thanks ..."

Lisa came forward as the Doctor left and started cleaning him up a little and between her and Mike, they managed to get one of his own pajamas on him thanks to the overnight bag that Mike had brought with him on his return the day before. With all those things seen to, the final thing to be done was the injecting of the latest by now overdue painkiller. Mike watched as Lisa approached him cautiously with it and Steve smiled and held up his good hand in surrender.

"I won't throw it again ... I swear ... Actually ... I'm really sorry about earlier. I don't know what got into me ..."

Lisa smiled warmly.

"Oh don't worry about it and thanks for sticking up for me in front of Dr. Kramer earlier. Some of the Doctors here think I look too young to be properly qualified and tend to blame all the mistakes on me."

Steve blushed bright red as he remembered what he had said earlier and exchanged a guilty look with Mike before responding.

"Yeah, I kind of remember that feeling. "

"Besides, at least you flung it at the wall. Believe me when I say I've had worse things physically thrown in my DIRECTION before. "

Steve wasn't sure if he should smile at that or not. He hated to think that anyone, no matter how much pain they were in, would throw anything AT the young nurse but he also felt a little guilty that he had almost joined their ranks. Thinking back to the dark place he had been in just an hour earlier, he blushed a little and spoke remorsefully.

"I'm sorry to hear that. "

"Don't be ... It comes as part and parcel of the job .. Besides it takes a lot of hurt and pain to make someone act like that. Doesn't it Steve?"

Her question caught him off guard and he blushed a little deeper.

"Yeah ... I guess it does ... But ... I'm ok now ... I ah ...had the right person in my corner to help me shed a little of the burden. Isn't that right Michael?"

Steve's careful use of his full Christian name always made Mike smile and this time was no different.

"You better believe it. But ... you did all the hard work. I just pushed you in the right direction that's all ..." Mike answered modestly and Steve stared at him gratefully, feeling his emotions well up a little again at the all too recent memory. Needing to avoid the subject again for now, he turned and smiled at Lisa and held out his right arm this time in surrender.

"Ok do your worst Lisa ... How long before this ah ... kicks in only I've got aches and pains where I'd prefer not to, after earlier. "

"Uh oh ... If he's admitting to being in pain, you had better check his temperature again Lisa. It must have gone up higher" Mike teased.

"Ha! Ha! Very funny ... You know you're a real riot today, Mike" Steve answered dryly.

Lisa laughed at the two men's humorous banter. They had a very special relationship and it was plain to see even to a complete stranger like her.

"You should start feeling the effects in about twenty minutes Steve ..."

"Did you hear that Mike? You've got twenty minutes to ask me any question that requires a lucid answer." Steve joked but the joke sat badly with him as he soberly remembered how confused he was going to be feeling after that.

Mike could see Steve was not too keen on the after effects so he countered expertly.

"Well seeing as you offered, I might just take you up on that offer Buddy boy. There's a few things I've been wondering about and wanting to ask you."

"Uh oh, Look out! He's thinking. Actually you know I think my brain IS starting to feel those effects already Mike ..."

Mike swatted playfully at the young man in the bed.

"Nice try hotshot. I've got twenty minutes left ..."

Lisa stood up and tucked the sheet better around her patient. He looked a lot better than he had earlier and his spirits had visibly improved.

"Well, you both have twenty minutes to talk gentlemen but as soon as those meds kick in you're under strict Doctor's orders to get some more sleep again. You've had quite a dramatic start to the day already and when you wake up later, Dr. Kramer wants you to try eating something."

Steve scowled and then addressed them both.

"My next hurdle huh?"

"Well as long as it's not your next "hurl" I'm starting to run out of clean clothes Buddy boy ..."

"Aw MIKE ... " Steve said in distaste as Mike started to laugh and Lisa joined him.

Turning to leave, Lisa spoke across to Mike.

"You're a funny man, Mike."

"HEY! Don't encourage him Lisa. His head is already too big for his boots."

Lisa laughed again and left while Mike turned to Steve and said in all serious.

"It's not my head that's too big Buddy boy, it's my nose."

Steve chuckled.

"There's nothing wrong with your nose Mike."

"Have you got blurry vision again Steve?" he asked playfully.

After another laugh, Steve answered.

"No, what I mean is ... it's well able to sniff out trouble where it's needed ... "

Mike smiled and reached out and grabbed Steve's hand affectionately.

"Just as well when it comes to you, huh?"

"Yeah ... Thanks Mike ..."

"Don't mention it. Now ... about those questions?"


	17. Chapter 17

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 17

Steve looked over at Mike curiously. He thought Mike had only been joking about the questions but now saw by the older man's serious expression that he had been very serious about having questions to ask him. He swallowed hard not quite sure what Mike was going to ask and after his recent emotional collapse not really sure if he was going to be up to too many hard-hitting questions either. Mike saw his nervous stare and squeezed the younger man's hand reassuringly.

"What's the matter? Don't you feel up to answering a few questions?"

"Well I guess ... that depends on the questions, Mike. "

"Well you see Buddy boy, after I packed your overnight bag at my place yesterday afternoon, I decided that you probably needed more clothes and things from your apartment seeing as the Doctor said that you might be staying a bit longer so ... on the way back to the Hospital, I got Baker and Shapiro to take me there first ..."

Mike stopped mid-sentence as he watched as the blood drained from Steve's face alarmingly and he saw the young man taking deeper breaths. He knew Steve mightn't be pleased to know that Mike had been at his place but hadn't quite expected such a negative reaction. He wondered momentarily if maybe he shouldn't have brought the subject up, but Mike felt they had already made a lot of progress so far this morning in Steve's recovery and he had hoped to get the answers he felt he needed after his visit to Steve's apartment yesterday. Before he had decided whether to continue in light of Steve's extreme reaction, Steve spoke shakily.

"You ... were in ... my apartment?"

Mike heard the palpable worry and nervousness laced in the younger man's voice and he merely nodded in response, deciding that he was going to have to continue this particular thread of conversation very carefully from here on in. Steve closed his eyes on seeing Mike's answer. _Oh my God! He had left the place in quite a state the night he had decided to visit Mike. How much had Mike seen? How many of his secrets had he discovered? Oh God! He couldn't remember if he had cleaned up the bloodied tissues from the sink? But surely Mike wouldn't have needed to go in there ?_ So many thoughts were now racing around his head and making him feel dizzy and uneasy all at the same time. They were coming too soon after his earlier episode. He wasn't sure how he would handle those type of questions especially if they related to his apartment and the excruciatingly difficult week he had just endured on his own. Deciding the only way to deal with it was to try and detract from the serious issues that were blatantly apparent to any visitor to his place, he stammered purposefully.

"I take it you saw the mess, huh? I ... I really wasn't feeling much up to cleaning Mike ... Sorry ..."

Mike smiled, trying to put him at ease and again squeezed his hand to offset the young man's visibly jangled nerves.

"Oh that's alright. I didn't expect you to have it all tidied up. I know you're not up to that yet ... But ... I was in your living room and ... You know what my first question is going to be ... Don't you Steve?"

He saw Steve almost visibly recoil at that statement and felt a tremor start in Steve's left hand. _Oh my God! He'd seen the chair where he'd been sleeping. He hadn't tidied away the stuff off it before he had left for Mike's!_ Mike watched the young man stare at him and swallow hard.

"Look Mike ..." he started to say but Mike quietened him with a purposeful interruption.

"Steve ... I'm not trying to upset you again but I just need to know if you ... Well ... have you been sleeping in that armchair since you came out of the Hospital? And don't try and smokescreen me now. It's a simple question Buddy boy."

Steve continued to stare at him unnervingly and Mike could tell from the look in his eyes that it was one of the questions he had been dreading Mike would ask. _Should he tell Mike the truth? What point would there be in lying? He'd been found out. Surely it was best to just admit it now and get the truth out in the open. But would it make Mike feel worse than he knew he was feeling already? And if Mike told Jeannie how would she react to that news? Would she feel betrayed and deceived by Steve?_ Steve felt his emotions fray a little again and suddenly didn't know what to answer for the best. He looked away from Mike towards the window, almost hoping this time ironically that the drugs would kick in quicker this time and save him from the probing and uncomfortable questions that Mike was demanding answers to. However, Steve's withdrawal and lack of protest to his question, already gave Mike his answer. He reached over and gently pulled Steve's face back towards him and saw the uncertainty written in his face.

"You have been ... haven't you?"

Steve nodded dolefully but then stammered pleadingly.

"Please ... don't tell Jeannie, Mike ... "

Mike sighed heavily.

"She didn't know?"

"No ... She used to make sure I was in bed but ... "

" ... after she'd leave, you'd go back out into the chair?" Mike finished for him.

Again Steve nodded.

"WHY Steve? Why didn't you sleep in your own bed? You can't have been comfortable sleeping in a chair. Well ... no wonder you haven't been sleeping well. "

Steve opened his mouth to answer but couldn't find the words he needed.

"You ... you wouldn't understand ..."

"Oh you think so huh? Well why don't you try me? I just might surprise you, you know?"

Steve could see that Mike was not going to drop the subject and so he tried to explain even though he was unsure whether he even could or not.

"Mike, I found it hard to sleep on my back and when I tried to sleep on my side it ... it hurt too much. Sitting upright in the armchair was the only place I could ... get comfortable Mike ... I know it sounds strange but I coped the best way I knew how to ..."

Mike patted Steve's good arm and spoke.

"I see ... Ok ... But what about all the food Jeannie left for you? Didn't you eat any of it?"

 _He'd been in the kitchen too! How was he going to explain that one? Surely twenty minutes must be up by now? Why weren't the drugs rescuing him?_ Steve stared again sadly at Mike and found himself pathetically stuttering in his own defense.

"No wait Mike. I DID ... eat some of it ..."

"Oh really? Then how come the freezer was still full, huh? " Mike persisted, hearing Steve's defensive tone and wondering how much truth lay behind his words.

No ... No ... You've got it wrong. She left some dishes of food in the fridge too. I ate all those, I SWEAR Mike ... That's how I had clean dishes to bring back the other evening. But ... then ... as the week went on I couldn't ... I mean I tried to eat but I ..."

He stopped talking as he found the topic too difficult. He didn't want to admit to Mike that he had started throwing up everything he had tried to eat as the week went on but yet he didn't want Mike to think he didn't appreciate everything Jeannie had done for him either. _Why did everything lately have to be so complicated? Especially when the wasn't able to think straight._ He pulled his left arm out of Mike's grip and ran it through his hair anxiously.

Mike however was good at reading between the lines. He knew that familiar gesture only too well where Steve was concerned and mostly indicated when the young man was feeling uneasy or uncomfortable about something. He remembered the over use of bleach in Steve's bathroom and was able to fill in the blanks of Steve's earlier unfinished sentence in his mind.

"You couldn't keep anything down, could you?"

Steve dropped his hand back down onto the bed and stared at Mike in disbelief. _How could he know that? That was one thing he was sure he had cleaned up from!"_

Mike saw his puzzled expression and smiled warmly, trying to offset the discomfort he knew he was causing Steve by his difficult questions. Deciding to put Steve out of his confusion he answered his puzzled stare.

"The bleach. The smell lingers for quite a while ..."

Steve frowned and felt his heart beginning to race a little. His worst fears had been confirmed. Mike HAD been in the bathroom. He swallowed hard as he now knew what Mike's next question would be. Mike saw Steve's expression change to one of extreme agitation and knew he had second guessed his next question.

"Do I have to ask it? Or do you just want to tell me about it instead, huh?"

Steve looked away briefly to try and get some form of control back in his voice. He HAD to deny everything. He couldn't go there. Maybe Mike wasn't talking about the blood in the sink. Maybe he hadn't noticed it ... But this was Mike! Mike noticed everything. Of course he'd seen it. Of course that was what he wanted Steve to explain. Or was it? A little probing just to be sure wouldn't hurt though, he thought. Feigning innocence or so he thought, he muttered casually.

"I don't what you're talking about Mike ..."

Mike smiled again. He had expected that answer. Knowing that he was going to have to pull every last bit of information from him painfully before he would ever give it up of his own free will, he continued cautiously.

"Oh I think you do Buddy boy. The blood in the sink ... AND on your top. Where did it come from?"

Steve's monitor started beeping only slightly but noticeably faster and both men glanced at it as Mike smiled again at the tell tale sign that Steve was concealing the truth and Steve cursed it's betrayal.

"Mike, it's not what you think ... "

"NO? Where did it come from Steve? There was a lot of it? Did you fall? Or ... was it from your chest wound?"

Steve whipped his head back to look at Mike, realizing that he was getting the wrong impression and that the truth was going to have to come out to clear the misunderstanding up.

"No Mike ... No, you've got it all wrong. I ... I cut myself shaving ..."

That answer irritated Mike. _Why did the boy feel he had to lie about such serious things? Why did he find it so hard to just admit when bad things happened?_ He let his frustration get the better of him and spoke more crossly than he intended to.

"Steve, now DON'T lie to me! There was way too much blood for just a shaving cut! Where did it COME FROM?"

Mike's raised voice took Steve aback and he startled and recoiled slightly from the older man. _How could he make him understand?_

"I'm NOT LYING!" he found himself yelling back. "They had me on blood thinners Mike ... since ... since the first operation. You're not supposed to cut yourself when you're on them. They ... make you bleed worse and make it harder to stop ... Jeannie had been helping me shave because my hands were too ... shaky but after she left I just hadn't bothered ... Then I was going to call to see you but I didn't want ... you to see me like that ... so I ... I tried to shave myself and the razor ... slipped and there was blood everywhere in seconds and I couldn't ... I couldn't get it to stop ..."

Mike listened to Steve's heart wrenching explanation and heard Steve's tone and voice gradually deteriorate as he went on reliving the harrowing and horrific moment that had occurred during his week alone since Jeannie left and his heart sank in his chest. _Blood thinners! Of course that would explain the extent of the blood loss. He hadn't even considered that fact. He had accused Steve of lying but the truth was that HE was the one at fault and responsible for the incident , NOT Steve! He had left him to fend for himself without Jeannie and the young man had suffered horrendously as a result._

Now he had shouted at him and made him feel even worse and he felt the earlier lump in his throat return. Stopping Steve from going any further, he grabbed Steve's hand that was now shaking uncontrollably as he relived the scary incident in his mind and seeing Steve's bottom lip quivering and newly formed moisture in his eyes, he swallowed hard and spoke breathlessly.

"I'm sorry ... I'm sorry Buddy boy ... That's OK. I believe you ... I'm sorry I didn't before. Where did ... you cut yourself?"

This time Steve heard the sorrow and concern in Mike's voice instead of the disappointment and rage from before and so he turned his head to the right and lifted his chin up to reveal a distinct inch long cut just under his jaw. It had now fully scabbed over but Mike could only imagine how badly it had bled at the time.

Mike reached over and without touching it examined it closely.

"Dear God Steve! How did you get it to stop?"

I rang the Hospital and ... told them what had happened and they told me what to do ... Luckily, I ah, I'd stopped taking the blood thinners the day before because of the angiogram so it wasn't as bad as it could have been ..."

Steve felt Mike squeeze his hand and heard a breath catch in the older man's throat which only caused his own throat to constrict in sympathy. Neither men spoke for several minutes, instead just allowing the upset to gradually subside, as both men took in the result of the revelations of the last few minutes.

Mike thought about what Steve had endured this last week and almost shuddered at the revelation. He had been sleeping in a chair, pretending to all those he knew that he was instead sleeping in a comfy bed. He had tried to eat but had found himself unable to keep anything down and he couldn't bear to think of how Steve had managed the mere fact of throwing up without any help or assistance at hand. No-one to hand him a tissue to wipe his mouth, or rub his back as the retching consumed him. No-one to help him back up off the floor in his weakened state or ask him if he was feeling better. He thought about Steve even risking cutting himself shaving in order to outwardly appear ok when he had come to visit him the other evening. Had Mike made him feel so abandoned and alone that he hadn't felt able to call Mike for help or allow himself to be seen in his actual physical state, no matter how bad that had been. In that moment he felt his failure of Steve the most. He had let the boy down atrociously. The biggest fear Mike had, was what other horrendous episodes had Steve lived through this past week, aside from the ones Mike had just eked out of him, that he would probably never be told about.

Steve's thoughts were slightly different. Now Mike knew the awful truth, he would only feel worse about not being there for him. He hadn't meant to make Mike feel worse but Mike himself had insisted on him telling the truth and had forced the answers from him. Now would he confide in Jeannie? Would Jeannie end up feeling bad too? Would it affect her exams? He cursed the fact that he hadn't managed better on his own. Why did he have to be so damned dependent on other people right now! He was always a very independent person. Tragic circumstances had meant that he had always had to be. But this shooting had made him weak and reliant and it was killing him more than the bullet ever could. He couldn't stand to be such a burden on others. He would have preferred to have ... No ... He shouldn't think like that! He had been lucky to survive. Hadn't he? Or had he fully survived? He still felt like only part of him had and now it seemed to him in recollection that it had been the most useless and weakest part of him that had. He felt his emotions unraveling again and the horrific feeling that once more he was going to be unable to stop them. Surely he couldn't have any tears left to shed or despair left to release? Not after the earlier meltdown. But nonetheless he could feel it rebuilding. He kept wishing the drugs would kick in and numb not only the physical pain he was in but the emotional pain as well. Before he could worry about it anymore Mike spoke again, his voice calm but audibly strained.

"You've really had a horrendous week since Jeannie left, haven't you?"

Steve tried to answer as normally as he could but the lump building in his throat was getting harder to force the words past by the second.

"I've had better ..."

Mike heard a faint but distinct tone of despair in the young man's voice despite the fact that Steve was doing his very best to hide it.

"Why didn't you call me Steve? I really wish now you had. Did I really leave you with the impression that I wouldn't care or come to help you if you needed me?"

"NO, no it wasn't like that ... I ... I almost did a couple of times ... But ... I kept thinking about ... what Jeannie said ..."

Those words almost froze Mike to the spot. He was almost afraid to ask the next question but at the same time, he needed to know the answer.

"What Jeannie said? What ... did she say Steve?"

Steve stared wide eyed at Mike and wondered if he should tell the older man or not. He didn't want to cause trouble between him and Jeannie and yet his brain was starting to fog a little and he couldn't think as clearly now. Was what she told him that bad? Would Mike take exception to it? He just wasn't sure. Mike saw his hesitation and swallowed hard.

"Please Steve. I need to know what she said that made you hesitate about calling me ... "

"She said that it was your way of coping. That you needed time to come to terms with what had happened in your own way just like ... just like you had after her Mom died ... She said to give you space and that you'd come around in your own time ..."

Mike slumped back into his seat and looked taken aback. _Was that really how his little girl saw it? That he needed to be away from the people he loved in order to cope. But then ... that's what it must have looked like both then and now. His visible and obvious absence, his insistence on throwing himself into his work as a distraction, his moodiness and isolation. How could she think otherwise? He had never spoken of it to her, again not then or now so how could he expect her to understand anything else?_

Steve saw Mike's withdrawal from him and his faraway look. He shouldn't have said anything. He reached over and squeezed the older man's arm.

"I'm sorry Mike. I didn't give you that space Mike. I really tried to wait like Jeannie had said but ... then the angiogram was scheduled and ... and I was afraid if something went wrong during it ... that I wouldn't get to speak to you again and ... and I just needed to clear the air between us ... just in case ... I'm really sorry Mike ...

Much to Steve's disgust, another wave of upset washed over him. He released Mike's arm and covered his face, turning away from Mike towards the window, not wanting to say anything else. Mike heard his words and knew he had mistaken his withdrawal for annoyance and quickly moved forward again sensing that he had caused more upset for the young man.

"Oh Steve! No ... No it wasn't your fault. I'm really glad you called the other night. I really am. I just wished you called me sooner. I should have been there for you. But it's not exactly like Jeannie said ... Although I can see why she'd think that. I need to explain it to you and her. You see like I told you earlier, I saw so much death in Iwo Jima that I became almost immune to it. I had to ... because it helped me cope with it Steve and that same coping mechanism helped me when I became a cop. That's what helps me see dead bodies every day for a living. Oh sure, some get to me more than others but then when Helen got sick and I had to watch her slowly deteriorate before my eyes and see her leave me ... Well ... I didn't cope so well with that Steve. It tore me up inside and it changed me Steve as if ... part of me died with her and when Charnovsky died, it opened that old wound up again and ... Well you saw how badly I handled that one and then that night bringing you to Franklin in the back of the squad car ... I ... I just didn't know how I was going to cope if you ... When I saw you in ICU with all those wires and machines ... It brought everything back Steve and I ... I was afraid ... "

Steve looked back around at Mike at those words. In all the years he had known him, he had never known him to be afraid of anything. It was a revelation that shook him.

"Afraid? Of what? That ... that I wouldn't make it?"

Mike merely nodded and then looked down to his lap, ashamed.

"Yes partially but ... Mostly afraid that I couldn't cope with seeing you struggle with all the medical stuff that I had to see Helen struggling with ... But I was wrong Steve ... Really wrong because I guess I realize now that being there for Helen when I was, is what actually eventually helped me afterwards to cope with losing her and that's why I should have done the same for you ... But I let you down and that's twice I've let down Jeannie now because I didn't feel strong enough but I swear to you Buddy boy that it's NEVER going to happen again ... We're a family Steve and families stick together through thick and thin. "

Mike's words touched Steve deeply and he could hear the new found determination in Mike's voice not to let difficult circumstances keep him from being there for people he cared about ever again. He wasn't sure if it had been Mike's admission of fear or his revelation of the deep pain and internal torment he had suffered during Helen's illness and final passing but it made Steve feel a need to share his own inner torment. Although it wasn't usual for him to admit stuff like this to Mike, he found his emotions building again and as they threatened to consume him for the second time in the last couple of hours he stammered an admission he couldn't quite believe passed his own lips.

"Mike? I'm not sure how ... much more of this ... I can take ..."

Mike was stunned that Steve had even admitted it . He felt that it was a huge leap forward for Steve to ever admit something so personal and he took pride in the fact that maybe having been able to finally share his own feelings about what he had endured with Helen with Steve, it had helped the young man open up too. He met Steve's pained green eyes and smiled proudly at the younger man.

"Do you know how far you've come to actually be able to admit that. Huh, Buddy boy?"

Steve nodded but then spoke again heartrendingly, his defenses now down and his fears surfacing quicker than he could handle them or bury them again.

"Mike? Sometimes I feel like ... Not all of me survived that night ..."

Mike sobered as he heard Steve's words and it shook him a little. Reaching over, he clasped Steve's hand and spoke seriously.

"Steve? What are you talking about?"

"I don't feel like me anymore Mike. Everything's different. I can't sleep without drugs ... Food doesn't taste the same anymore and ...I can't eat without throwing up. I don't feel the same ..."

"Steve? No ... no you mustn't think like that. You were very seriously hurt Steve. You're still healing. All those things will get better, you'll see. Look, you've just had a bad few weeks and an even worse few days. Rita says you still have a tough couple of weeks ahead but then things will pick up and you'll get back to your old self again. Traumatic events do change us Steve. I'm not the same man I was before Helen died either. We look the same but things change inside us but that doesn't mean you won't feel ok again."

"But ... What if I don't Mike? What if I don't ever feel the same again? What then?"

"Then you'll embrace the changes and make them your own. You're still the Steve we know and care about Buddy boy. You just have to find him in there again and you will. I have no doubt about that and you shouldn't either ... But you have to give yourself time to heal ... Ok?"

Steve nodded weakly as the drugs finally began to kick in. His head swam and Mike saw the glaze return to his eyes and heard the deep intake of breath as Steve succumbed to its debilitating effects. The older man checked his watch and saw that twenty five minutes had elapsed and felt Steve's grip tighten on his hand.

"Uh oh ... Take it easy now. Those drugs are kicking in, aren't they? Just let them help you Steve. Don't fight them now. You need to rest. You've had quite the morning. Try to sleep now Steve ... Ok?"

"Mmm ... hmmm ..." Steve muttered drowsily as he felt the strong drugs pulling him under.

Only this time he welcomed the darkness, hoping that within it, he could forget for a while and rest. He felt so drained, so empty, so spent. He didn't have much more left to give. He only hoped that when he woke, that he would feel better. That things would not look and feel as bleak and hopeless. For now, he would have to just settle for the peace that he hoped that sleep would bring.

Mike sat and watched as Steve let the drugs overtake him. This time though he noticed that Steve gave up very easily. He would usually fight them a little more, despite the fact that it was ultimately a futile exercise. The fact that this time he surrendered to them so readily made him feel uneasy. Was he just so drained and exhausted after the breakdown that he hadn't any energy left to fight them or was he giving up, fed up of the whole thing and feeling so low and hopeless that nothing mattered anymore. Mike only hoped that it was the former reason but as he watched Steve sleep, he couldn't help thinking about what Steve had just revealed in his weakest moments. Did he really believe that he wasn't the same person anymore? Had he suffered so much that it had changed him inside and made him feel that things would never be the same again. Mike found new strength in that moment and was even more determined to see him through these next difficult few weeks and see the young man heal and help him regain his strength and his zest for life.

Minutes later the door opened and Lisa entered and smiled as she saw Steve's eyes closed. Coming closer she whispered to Mike.

"Ah! Finally asleep I see ..."

"Yes, just in the last few minutes ... I think he's exhausted."

"Well he's had an eventful morning. Thank God you caught him when you did. Things could have turned out a lot worse. Let's hope he doesn't try that again anytime soon."

Lisa took Steve's pulse and checked his forehead.

"He feels a little cooler. I think his fever's coming down again. " she announced positively, sensing a strange negative vibe coming from Mike.

As she placed the thermometer under her patient's arm, she glanced sideways and saw Mike watching Steve and saw the concern and tiredness in his face too.

"Mike, he's going to be ok ..."

Mike didn't seem convinced and without taking his eyes off his former partner ,he merely muttered dolefully.

"He's very low ..."

"Mike, I really think you helped him with that today ..."

"I wish I was as sure about that ... Maybe ... it wasn't enough ..."

Lisa removed the thermometer and spoke again trying to raise the older man's spirits.

"His temperature IS starting to come back down."

"That's good." Mike said quietly but she could tell he was still worried and she noted that he looked fairly low himself.

"You look tired too Mike. Steve should sleep now for a good few hours. Why don't you go home and try to catch-up on some sleep. I promise to call you if there's anything you need to know and I'll tell Steve you'll be back later on if he wakes up in the meantime."

Mike looked up gratefully at the young nurse.

"I appreciate it but ... I'd rather stay here with him for now. "

"Ok. Can I get you anything?"

"No ... no thank you. I'm fine. "

"Alright. Well buzz me if you change your mind, ok?"

Mike nodded and smiled and then watched as she checked Steve's various drips and dressings and then picking up his chart she quietly left the room again. Mike slouched lower in his chair and sighed heavily, letting his head fall back against the back of the chair. He sat and let his thoughts wander as the heart monitor beeped in the same familiar, comforting pattern providing the only obvious background noise in the room. Steve was so still, his chest rising and falling, his head drooped slightly to his right. Mike laid a hand on the young man's arm and felt the sudden overwhelming tiredness of his long disturbed night at Steve's bedside and as he became aware of the low ticking of the clock on the wall as it seemed to join in with the chorus of the heart monitor, Mike felt his eyelids close and he dozed off into a much needed rest.

 **A/N: Apologies for the delay in updating. With St. Patrick's Day temporarily stealing my muse and with my kids on their Easter Holidays it took longer to write. X**


	18. Chapter 18

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 18

Lisa smiled when she returned to check on her patient an hour later and saw Mike asleep in the bedside chair, snoring quietly. Fetching a blanket she draped it over him and then set about checking on Steve. His temperature was back to normal, his vital signs were fine and he appeared to be sleeping peacefully. All her ministrations hadn't roused him and so she decided to risk checking his dressings while she was at it. Carefully unbuttoning his top, she could see his chest dressing was clear which again was a very positive sign and then carefully closing his top again, she checked his wrist dressing and frowned as she saw a slight discharge on it. Steve still hadn't moved a muscle. The painkillers were strong and she knew they would keep him under for several more hours but she didn't want to risk cleaning the wrist and disturbing him just in case. He badly needed the rest and so she decided that seeing as it wasn't too bad she would wait until later to change it. Settling the sheet back around him, she left them both sleeping soundly.

Another four hours later and both men were still asleep. Dr. Kramer had called the nurse's station and passed on instructions from Dr. Lowell that Lisa was to try and get the young man to eat something and also that she was to start the desensitization process of Steve's scar before Dr. Lowell was back on duty at seven and would come to see his patient. Lisa felt ill at ease. She knew that Steve had bad issues with his scar, both from the experience of cleaning it, and also from what she had been told by Rita and from what she had read in his file. She knew that Steve would not be happy with that news and was not looking forward to breaking it to him. After the violent retching from earlier and with the latest heavy dose of painkillers working off an empty stomach, she also didn't fancy her chances of getting food into her patient and even if she did manage it, she didn't fancy his chances of keeping anything down. After the harrowing morning they had endured and the very peaceful afternoon they had had so far, Lisa felt another few difficult hours still lay ahead of them. Looking at her watch, she saw it was coming up to three thirty and began to wish that Rita was due back on duty sooner than she was. Lisa knew that she would be better able to help Steve with both those tasks in light of her many years of experience but she had another three and a half hours to go before help arrived so she was just going to have to do the best she could. She also hoped that perhaps having Mike on hand to help would make things easier.

Entering room Five she saw both men still resting and hated disturbing them but if she was to carry out Dr. Lowell's instructions she really didn't have much choice. She approached Steve's bed and did a quick check of Steve's vital signs. His forehead was still cool and she smiled. If his temperature was going to go back up it really should have started rising again by now. The fact that it hadn't, meant that Dr. Kramer's prediction had been correct and the infection was finally under control. The combination of the frequent cleanings of the wound and the antibiotics had worked and the dressings were still clear. His wrist wound had seeped a little more and Lisa put that down to the fact that he must have opened it slightly when he had fallen earlier. She couldn't put that task off any longer and so decided to deal with that before rudely awaking him from his restful sleep.

Lisa brought her medical supplies over and laid them on the side of the bed and sat down beside Steve's right side. Gently clasping the afflicted wrist, she carefully started unwinding the bindings which in one patch were damp and bloodied. Steve began to groan as she did but he was still staying under, however as hard as she tried to unstick the last piece of the dressing without causing him undue pain, she failed, as his eyes shot open and he groaned louder, his sleepy eyes grew wide and startled as he stared at the young nurse who was holding his wrist, in a confused, disoriented fashion. Realizing that the drugs were still causing some drowsiness and disorientation, she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and spoke clearly.

"It's ok Steve. You're alright. You're still in CCU. I ... I just have to change the dressing on your wrist that's all. I'm sorry for waking you."

Steve blinked his eyes several times to clear his vision then seemed to process her words as his startled, confused look changed to one of acceptance as he brought his left hand up to rub at his face and then brush through his bed tossed hair. In an even sleepier voice he stammered.

"My ... wrist?"

"Yes ... It's still bleeding a little. You must have hit it and reopened the wound a little when you fell this morning. I just need to clean it and put a fresh dressing on it ... I'll try to get it done as quickly as possible."

Another frantic rubbing of his eyes followed as he spoke shakily.

"Man! My head feels like lead ... How long ... have I been out?"

Lisa smiled and sympathized.

"I know ... Those painkillers are very strong. You've been out for around five hours now."

Steve dropped his hand and seemed stunned as he stared again unnervingly at Lisa thinking that maybe he had heard her wrong.

"Five HOURS?" That long? Feels like ... I just closed my eyes a little while ago."

Lisa grinned at Steve's words as she finally managed to disconnect the dried, bloodied dressing from the wound without causing any further damage but it did pull slightly and elicited another grunt of pain from him.

"Sorry ... That's the worst part over. It's still very sore isn't it?"

Steve frowned as he could hardly deny it after the expression of pain he had just given in to, so instead, Steve reddened slightly with embarrassment as he muttered apologetically.

"Yeah ... Sorry ... My pain tolerance level seems to be getting lower by the hour ..."

"Don't be ... That's perfectly understandable after the few days you've just had. "

Lisa continued to work on Steve's wrist but noticed that he was still struggling to process what was going on. She watched briefly as he turned his head to his left and saw Mike still sound asleep in the bedside chair. In her casual momentary upward glances from her work she was sure she saw a remnant of a smile cross his face as he did. Then as she returned to her swabbing of the wrist wound, she heard his groggy voice speak again in a low whispered tone.

"How long has Mike been asleep?"

"I think he went shortly after you. He was very tired."

"Yeah ... I don't think he got much sleep last night because of me."

Lisa looked up and saw the young man watching Mike guiltily and frowned. Steve had a very frustrating habit of blaming himself on everything and it made her feel sad. As she cleaned the wrist wound gently and started to redress the wound and bind it again with fresh bandages, she spotted Steve wincing again and so she hurried the task and decided it was better to break the other bad news to her patient now and get it over with.

"There. All done. How does that feel? Not too tight?"

Steve surveyed the wrist and forced a smile.

"No ... No, it's fine thanks."

"Ok, try to rest it and not hit it again anytime soon, alright?" she teasingly admonished and as she saw him smile and nod his head, she continued more cautiously. "Listen Steve, Dr. Lowell rang Dr. Kramer earlier and left some instructions he wants carried out regarding your care"

Something about Lisa's words or perhaps the way she delivered them sounded ominous to Steve and he felt himself panic inwardly. Trying to appear calm, he responded in a humorous fashion .

"Well that doesn't sound promising. Is this the part where you ask me if I want the good news or the bad news first?"

Lisa smiled at Steve's perception but only wished that she had good news to offset the bad.

"Actually the question is, do you want the bad news first or the slightly worse news first, I'm afraid."

Steve swallowed hard. It sounded worse than he thought. Still trying to appear unfazed, he smiled purposefully wider.

"What? No good news? "

"Well ... I guess the good news is that your temperature is staying down this time and ... your chest wound is still clear so it looks like we finally have the infection under control."

Steve could hear that Lisa was doing her best to sound upbeat but he could also sense how nervous she was about the news she still had to impart and knew in that moment that he had to get the bad news over with, for her sake as well as his.

"Well that's good. Now that you mention it, I don't feel as chilled anymore ... Ok ... Well ... better give me the bad news first ..."

Steve saw Lisa studying him as if she was trying to work out whether he was ready to handle whatever the news was and so felt he had to appear braver than he felt for her sake.

"It's ok ... Shoot ... I'm ready ... "

"Alright ... Well Dr. Lowell wants you to try and eat something before he comes in to see you later."

Steve almost audibly sighed with relief. While the thoughts of having to try and eat something didn't fill him with any great joy at that moment in time, the news wasn't as bad as what his mind had conjured up it might be ... However there was still worse news to come so he wasn't out of the woods just yet. Tentatively moving the conversation along he tried humor again as a means of lightening the tension.

"Ok ... well I'm not sure how that's going to go exactly but ... what's the worse news? Don't tell me it's whatever's on the dinner menu, huh?"

Lisa smiled nervously and suddenly wished that it was.

"No ... No I'm afraid that's not the worse news."

Lisa watched as Steve's face fell slightly at that answer and while she could tell that he was trying to put a brave face on it, his nervousness was also palpable and the silence in the room apart from the heart monitor's slightly faster beeping and Mike's low breathing was decidedly unnerving. Deciding that she had to tell him quickly and put him out of his misery she spoke somewhat quicker and in a matter of fact tone, once more feeling in her heart that Rita would have been able to impart the news in an easier and better way.

"He wants us to start the process of trying to desensitize your scar Steve ..."

Steve's heart felt like it jumped in his chest at that news. It was what he had hoped it wouldn't be and yet he had somehow strangely known what she had been about to say. He looked down at what medical supplies Lisa had beside her and apart from the dressing supplies he spotted the soft cloth that lay beside them and knew that the intention was to start the process now. Not even a few minutes to allow him to get used to the idea. He felt a strange mix of emotions in that moment. Anger at Dr. Lowell for not listening to him and for not allowing him the time to feel ready before that process began. Nervousness at how he would cope with it and a strange sense of being at the end of his patience and tolerance for what lay ahead. He wished in that moment he could just disappear into thin air and escape his fate but miracles didn't seem to be working too well for him lately. Lisa sensed the downward spiral in Steve's emotions and demeanor caused by her words and reaching out she placed a silent, reassuring hand on his good arm.

"Steve, I know that's not want you want to hear but it is an important step in getting your life back to normal. Think about it Steve. With your scar as sensitive as it is now, how do you think you'll be able to manage normal everyday activities? Simple everyday tasks that up to now you've probably taken for granted will become unbearable. The simple act of having a shower Steve. How do you think the water spray will feel against it? Certain fabrics against it will drive you crazy. And you're going to be a teacher, aren't you? In a corridor full of college students, how are you going to avoid someone brushing against you? For practical reasons you have to start this process now, Steve."

Steve processed her words slowly through the drug fueled fog that had settled around his brain. Right now, the thoughts of anyone brushing against his chest scar was enough to send uncomfortable shivers down his spine, but he remembered the frequent corridor scrums from his own days at College and knew she was right

"Do we have to start it right now?"

"Yes ... I think it's best Steve not to put it off anymore. Let's make a start and get it over with, ok? "

"What do I have to do?" Steve asked in a tone that broke Lisa's heart as she could hear the uncertainty in his voice as to whether or not he would be able to do what she answered.

"You don't have to do anything Steve. It's best for the first few times if someone else does it for you. I know how hard this is for you Steve and how hypersensitive the nerves in your scar are right now, but you've got to trust me when I say that while the first few times will be difficult, it WILL get easier. All we're going to do today is remove the dressing and I'm going to try and get you used to feeling the soft cloth against your scar. We only have to start with five minutes and you'll get another few small sessions throughout the rest of the day. As you get used to it we'll do it for longer. Then we'll try rougher material and then eventually get you used to people touching it. It's a slow process Steve, so you'll get plenty of time to adjust as we go through the different sensations."

After the lengthy explanation and the worrying audible increase in Steve's heart rate, Lisa watched Steve's reaction very carefully. He seemed to be trying to process what she had said and then she noticed him glancing once more over at Mike. She wished she knew what he was thinking but his face remained expressionless and was refusing to give his thoughts away. She only hoped that she had convinced him of the necessity for this process to start and that she could help him through it successfully.

Steve watched Mike still sleeping and worried about possibly waking him during the difficult procedure ahead. _He wasn't ready! Why couldn't they see that? Why couldn't they just let him progress at his own pace and speed?_ Anger rose once more from inside him but he pushed it back. He had already acted undeservedly hostile towards Lisa once already today and it hadn't been her fault then, anymore than it was now. She was just carrying out instructions and doing her job. He suddenly remembered Mike's earlier words. "You're still the same Steve we know and care about Buddy boy. You just have to find him in there again. " _Mike was right! He was going to have to face it like he had faced everything else so far in his life. With courage and dignity._ Suddenly feeling a little braver than before, he took a deep breath and spoke more steadily.

"Ok ... Let's get it over with ... Five minutes right?"

Lisa smiled warmly at the young man, admiring his new found courage amidst the visible despair she knew he was feeling and trying desperately not to show.

"Yes ... Only five minutes. I'll be timing it. "

Steve watched anxiously as Lisa unbuttoned his top and removed his protective dressing and exposed his chest scar. He began to wish that Mike was awake as Mike was a master of distraction and he needed that more than anything right now but he also felt that was selfish of him. Mike was exhausted and he needed some rest. He would just have to manage on his own. He remembered the stain on the ceiling and focused on that instead hoping that could distract him in Mike's place but Lisa's next words crushed that hope in seconds.

"Steve ... I'm sorry. You need to watch what I'm about to do. It helps the brain to reprogram what the nerves should be feeling if you look at it, at the same time. Are you ready to start?"

 _NO! He wasn't ready. That was the whole point. But there was no going back now._ Forcing his eyes to look downward at the ugly scar on his chest, he took a deep steadying breath and nodded his head just before the torture began.

First Lisa brushed the cloth along Steve's side to show him what it should feel like under normal conditions and told him to focus on that normal feeling before she began to brush the cloth against his scar. She felt Steve tense up as she brought the cloth softly down across his scar for the first time and watched the seconds tick away on her watch. The first sweeping motion of the cloth along his scar sent pulsating electrical shocks throughout every nerve ending and it felt like it set his scar on fire. He sucked in a deep breath and heard Lisa telling him to try and slow down and steady his breathing. _Easier said than done. Didn't they realize how tortuous this was for him.? But how could they? They only knew what it felt like from reading about it in textbooks._ He took several slower breaths as the cloth made a second more prolonged pass along his scar. Burning and tingling followed. Like really bad sunburn ... He almost moaned as the feeling peaked and drove him to distraction. He longed to look away. To take his mind off the torture. To notice anything but THAT cloth and the direction it was taking. A third firmer stroke that seemed to reach nerve endings the other times hadn't. This time he released a somewhat muted groan. He couldn't stop it. It had forced it's way painfully from his lips as he felt the cloth make a fifth swifter pass back again and caused the burning to intensify. He wondered how long he had endured. _Surely at least a couple of minutes already? Definitely more than the time a normal wound cleaning lasted._

Lisa could both see and sense the discomfort Steve was feeling with every touch along his scar. She could see how bravely he was trying to endure it but also felt that his bravery was balancing on a knife's edge and could just as easily fail him at any time. He was trembling visibly and from where she was working, she could see the muscles along Steve's strong jawline, tense and tight. In her professional capacity she had to continue the process she had started and see it through to the end for her patient's ultimate benefit but her heart was feeling sympathy for her patient. She could see how difficult he was finding it and longed to end his misery. She spoke as reassuringly as she could while still continuing the desensitization process.

"You're doing really well Steve. I know this is hard but you've lasted one and a half minutes already. Hang in there."

 _Only one and a half minutes! Dear God. I can't make it to five!_ Lisa's words instead of their intention to encourage, only served to crush Steve's hopes of lasting for the entire five minutes. Every new brush of the cloth only brought more searing agony along the scar. Each stroke elicited a new horrific sensation of burning that ebbed and peaked. He found his left hand grabbing the sheet again and his fingers tightening around the material, desperately hoping that he could take out his frustrations on the inanimate object and alleviate even some of his discomfort but it wasn't working. He gritted his teeth as the cloth seemed to move more swiftly back and forth and his willpower slowly ran out. He felt an overwhelming urge to grab her hand and stop the cloth from touching him and tried his best to resist it.

Lisa could see a thin sheen of perspiration breaking out on Steve's brow. She noted Steve's left hand balled into a fist, the knuckles white as he grabbed the sheet for all he was worth. His face had reddened slightly from the exertion he was using to avoid showing how the process was torturing him and his breathing was becoming more labored. She feared that he was reaching breaking point and wouldn't make it much further as she noticed the time reach towards the three minute mark. Still she continued the process sweeping the cloth first lightly then back more firmly and changing the direction of the sweep and the angle at which she approached it. Steve's eyes closed suddenly and his trembling increased and confirming her worst fears, Steve's hand shot out and stopped her continuing as his voice gasped in pain filled breaths.

"Please ... Stop ... No ... more ..."

Lisa tried to reason with him.

"Steve, you've managed three minutes. You only have two left. You're almost there."

But Steve's chest felt like it was on fire and he felt that he had given it his all and had nothing left to give. He released Lisa's hand, but covered his scar protectively with it instead, his voice breaking in a heart wrenching plea.

"I'm sorry ... I can't do it ... I just ... CAN'T do it ..."

His breaths were coming in tortuous heaves as the burning in his chest continued long after the last stroke of the cloth had touched it, his eyes remaining closed at the shame he felt at having to stop the nurse's ministrations prematurely, his emotions wavering precariously.

The last heart wrenching statement of Steve's had filtered through Mike's deep sleep and he woke with a start, sitting up straight and trying to assess the situation currently unfolding in front of him. Seeing Steve in distress, the young man's left arm now clutched protectively across his chest and Lisa poised beside him, with a cloth in her hand, Mike quickly sat forward and spoke half drowsily.

"What's happening? What did I miss? Is everything alright?"

When Steve heard Mike's voice join the conversation and realized that he had woken him up, more guilt and misery filled him. He looked towards the window avoiding both their eyes as he tried to regulate his breathing and cope with the aftermath of the effects the cloth had caused. He couldn't even bring himself to answer Mike and was glad when he heard Lisa answer for him.

"Everything's ok Mike. We were just trying to start the desensitization of Steve's scar. Dr. Lowell requested we start this afternoon but ... "

She stopped talking as she watched Steve with concern and Mike suddenly understood what was going on.

"I take it ... that it didn't go too well, huh?"

"Actually he did very well. He lasted three minutes but he couldn't quite manage the other two. He has very serious nerve sensitivity problems in relation to his scar. Some people are affected worse than others. I ... I don't think he meant to wake you either ..." Lisa added, knowing that fact was not helping Steve's current situation.

Mike rubbed his eyes and checked his watch, visibly stunned that he had slept for as long as he had. Then he reached out and clasped Steve's shoulder to try and bring the young man back around towards him but he felt the distinct resistance in Steve's movements.

"Hey, hey ... That's OK now. I shouldn't have slept so long anyway. Talk to me Steve. What stopped you continuing?"

Steve didn't answer. He couldn't. He stayed turned away as Mike reached further to try and coax Steve around, but as Mike's hand passed Steve's arm, Steve panicked and almost shouted.

"MIKE! Don't touch my scar ... Please ... Don't touch it ..."

The sudden shout startled Mike and Lisa both and they both exchanged a look of concern between them. Pulling his hand back rapidly, Mike returned it instead to the back of Steve's head and spoke softly

"Alright ... Alright now ... I won't touch it. No-one's going to touch it again without your permission, ok? But Steve, listen to me will you? I don't understand. What happens when people touch your scar? Does it hurt you? Please Buddy Boy. Talk to me."

Steve shuddered and took several deep breaths. The burning was gradually subsiding but this time it was taking longer to settle than normal. Mike waited patiently for Steve to answer him, allowing him to answer in his own time and was rewarded for his patience.

"I ... I cant describe it Mike ..."

"That bad huh? Please try will you? Does it cause a stabbing pain?"

Mike was trying his best to eek the answer out of Steve. If he could get the young man to verbalize the feeling it mightn't seem as bad as keeping the sensations to himself or at least that was what Mike hoped would happen. Again his plan seemed to be working. He heard Steve's breathing even a little and again after several seconds, Steve replied.

"No ... Not pain exactly ... More like a burning ... But it feels like hot pokers sticking in my chest or ... small electrical shocks all happening at the same time ... But it builds and becomes unbearable ... I really tried Mike ... I tried to last it out ..."

Steve felt Mike stroke the back of his head and heard the sympathy clearly in Mike's voice.

"Alright ... I know you did ... Sounds tough ... Look at me will you Steve? Come on ... Please?"

Steve heard the older man's request and turned his face slowly back towards Mike somewhat reluctantly.

"I'm NOT doing another two minutes Mike ... I ... I can't ... " Steve stammered, feeling that Mike was going to try and persuade him otherwise.

"Steve, I know this is tough on you. But you're one of the toughest people I've ever met and you can't let this beat you. Do you hear me now?"

Steve stared unnervingly at the older man and forced his next words reluctantly past his lips.

"It already has Mike ... "

Mike's heart skipped a beat as he heard the conviction and sorrow with which Steve had said those words but he wasn't going to let Steve give up so easily. Not while he had a breath left in his body. Feeling more determined than ever, he spoke firmly but softly, knowing that now was a time for treading carefully but at the same time he needed to be tough for Steve's own good.

"NO! No, that's not true Steve. I don't believe that. Not for one minute! Now I know you've been through hell these last four weeks but I also know that you still have that fighting spirit in you and that's what you need to channel now. I know you feel unsure of yourself right now but you need to understand something Buddy boy. Something that you're losing sight of in all this mess. Three things make each one of us the unique individuals we are. What we think about things, how we feel and our gut instincts and how we act on them ... "

As Mike spoke he pointed purposefully to his head, his heart and his gut. He was watching Steve closely and could see he had Steve's utmost attention. Encouraged by that fact he continued determinedly.

" ... Now your heart was injured and it's still healing Buddy boy. All your emotions and how you feel about things are all messed up and upside down and out of your control. Didn't you tell me that?"

Steve merely nodded dolefully, not really sure where Mike was going with this line of questioning.

"Ok and you've already told me that the drugs and the necessary medication to help you heal are messing with your head and you can't think straight most of the time. Isn't that right?"

"Yeah ... but Mike ..."

"Hey! Hold on now. Just let me finish and make my point, ok? You can't rely on how you think and feel right now Buddy Boy and that's why you're feeling out of sorts and as if everything is hopeless but you're forgetting something important. Your gut instincts are still as sharp and as on point as they were before the shooting! That's what you have to rely on to get you through these next two difficult weeks Steve. Don't you see? You can trust them. That's where Steve still is Buddy boy ... Do you understand?"

Steve looked confused and stammered again.

"No Mike. I don't know what you're talking about ..."

"Alright. Let me put it simply for you. I want you to imagine you're at the Wharf, chasing a gun man. Sea fog rolls in. Pea soup. You can't see your hand in front of your face but you know the perp's out there somewhere, maybe even pointing his gun right at you! What do you do Buddy boy? What can you rely on? You can't trust your eyes. So what can you trust? "

Mike saw Steve thinking hard about it but the young man didn't answer right away. Feeling he needed a little more encouragement Mike probed again.

"Well ... Come on Steve. What do you trust in that situation? Huh?"

Steve looked back up at Mike and spoke very quietly.

"My ... instincts ..."

Mike smiled broadly.

"Now you're thinking Buddy boy. You trust your instincts. When all else fails that's what you've got to fall back on."

Steve stared at Mike for several seconds and Mike could feel that he was starting to see the point Mike was making.

"So tell me now Steve? What does your instincts say about those other two minutes? Not your heart and not your head but your gut instincts."

Steve thought and then answered once more in a low and shaky voice.

"That I can do it ..."

Lisa watched Mike's smile widen even more and watched as he ruffled Steve's hair proudly. She remained watching them both and felt deeply touched and heartened by how Mike had turned her patient around so easily and expertly. His words had been inspiring and so true. She found herself thinking of all the times in her own life where she had been left to rely on her gut instinct to see her through some difficult nursing exams and they had served her well on many difficult and trying occasions since then too. She smiled at the older man and marveled at his wisdom as she listened to him speaking to her patient again.

"That's right Buddy boy ... I never doubted it. So what do you say? Will we give those two minutes another try? After all ... you didn't have me helping you for those other three minutes. We'll breeze you through it, ok? "

Steve nodded but didn't seem as convinced.

"Mike, you can't distract me on this one ..."

"Oh you think not huh? Well just watch me. Lisa get your watch and your cloth ready. We're going to ace these next two minutes. Aren't we Steve?"

Steve looked curiously at Mike. He couldn't fault the older man's logic or his infectious positivity but he really wasn't sure how he was going to get him so successfully through the next two minutes while his nerves screamed for mercy. Mike saw him looking unsure and outlined his plan.

"Ok, here's what we're going to do. While Lisa here does what she has to do, I'm going to give you a pop quiz ..."

Steve's face fell at those words, his arm still covering his scar protectively and showing no signs of moving just yet.

"A WHAT? ..."

"A pop quiz. I'm going to test you on your dispatch codes Buddy boy. It should help take your mind off the discomfort long enough to get you through it. "

Steve's face grew serious and he started to shake his head from side to side.

"Aw Mike ... I can't think straight ... And when the burning starts ... Well ..."

Mike interrupted the young man purposefully, determined not to let his negativity get the better of him again.

"Now, now ... Don't worry. I'll allow for that. I'll go easy on you. What harm can it do? Come on. Let's just try it, ok?"

Steve nodded reluctantly and as Mike gestured at his arm, Steve slowly uncovered his scar and returned his arm to rest on the bed beside him. Lisa readied her watch and the cloth and watched Mike for a signal to resume the treatment. Mike saw Steve watching the cloth anxiously and knew they had to get it over with as quickly as possible so he nodded his head at Lisa and quickly started talking to Steve as he saw the young man wince and tense up again as the tortuous movements resumed.

"Ok Buddy boy, here's an easy one to start with. Two-seventeen? What does it stand for?"

Steve sucked in a deep breath and answered Mike but the answer came out sounding strained.

"Thats an easy one ... A shooting ..."

"Ok, next one. Two-forty? "

"Two-forty? " Steve repeated trying to get his brain to work as his chest burned and protested Lisa's ministrations.

"Come on Steve. We had one a few years back ... You remember? Young Paul Harris. Sad business ..."

"Oh yeah ... Two-forty. Child beating ... Now I remember ..."

"That's it. See, you're not doing that bad at all Steve. Ok, let's try a harder one. Four-fifty one?"

Lisa brought the cloth across Steve's scar again and the burning intensified. He grabbed the sheet subconsciously again and Mike noticed the move and covered Steve's hand with his own. Steve didn't answer for several seconds as he struggled with the sensations the cloth was producing and Mike allowed him a while to answer. His patience was once more rewarded as Steve's wavering voice finally broke the pained silence.

"Ah ... I ... I know that one ... That reminds me of the case with Jack O'Moore ... Arson ... That code signifies a suspected ... arson attack."

Steve's breathing was coming in heaves again as each stroke of the cloth caused a pins and needle sensation to erupt along the scar and Mike caught Lisa's eye and mouthed "How long left?" " One minute" was the silent, mouthed reply.

"Oh you're getting them too easily now. I'm going to have to challenge you a little. Eight-fifty?"

Steve shuddered as the burning persisted and he started losing the will to continue. He sighed heavily and felt Mike's hand tighten around his white fisted knuckles.

"Steve, hold on now. Come on ... Concentrate for me. Code Eight-fifty? Try Steve."

"Ah ... Eight-fifty ... I don't know that one ... I ... I can't think Mike ... Oh! It's BURNING Mike ..."

Steve gritted his teeth as the scar burned mercilessly and Lisa continued

"Steve, it's nearly over. Come on now. Code EIGHT-FIFTY?"

Steve inwardly cursed Mike's persistence but knew that he had to come up with an answer. Forcing his tired and tortured brain to focus on Mike's question, he tried to remember what the code stood for. _Eight-fifty one was a ... a stolen vehicle but ... There wasn't a code eight-fifty! Was there?_ Mike saw Steve's look change to confusion and knew he was starting to cop on to his ruse. Mike looked up at Lisa and asked wordlessly again how long was left. "Twenty seconds" came her reply. Relieved that Steve's torture was almost at an end for now, Mike watched as Steve turned to face him and he spoke in a strained voice.

"There's no code eight-fifty ... It was a trick question ... Wasn't it?"

Mike smiled his widest smile as he patted Steve's hand.

"Good work Buddy boy ... I told you you could trust your gut instincts didn't I? "

Fighting off another groan that threatened to escape, Steve smiled and shook his head weakly.

"Aw Mike ... That was cheating. Using a code that doesn't exist ..."

"Cheating? Well that's a bit strong Buddy boy. I had to do something. You were guessing the answers too fast ..."

Steve chuckled weakly and then shuddered strongly again as Lisa made a final stroke of the scar as the two minutes finally ended. The wound burned and stung as Steve reached the end of his tolerance. He closed his eyes as a heart rendering moan escaped from his lips. Mike saw Lisa indicate that the time was up and gripped Steve's upper arm in support and leaned forward to speak reassuringly.

"Ok Steve ... It's over. You hear me? It's over now. You did it. You got through it Buddy boy ..."

Steve opened his eyes and saw Lisa put the cloth back down and start to redress his chest wound. Even that simple act caused even more discomfort as it pressed lightly against the raw and tingling nerves. He resisted the urge to yell again as she finished her work but when she did Steve was quick to cover it again protectively with his arm as he struggled to regulate his breathing again.

"Steve? Mike's right. You did really well. It might help if I get you an ice pack to numb the scar now. Is it still burning? "

Steve nodded but then spoke in clear distress.

No ... No ice ... Just leave it alone now please. It will ease off itself. Please ... just leave it alone."

Mike exchanged another concerned look with Lisa as he watched Steve struggle with the aftermath of the treatment. She had to do something to try and make him more comfortable and then remembered the chest pillow that Rita always swore by and reached across to pick it up.

"Steve, the chest pillow might ease it a little. Here, put this against your wound and roll over a little for me."

Steve allowed her to place it across his chest and then with Mike's help they rolled him slightly over until he rested against it. He half buried his face into the pillow as he waited for the burning to gradually subside. The wound felt raw and irritated and he clutched the chest pillow against him desperately as he felt Mike's hand rest on his back.

"Please tell me I don't have to try and eat something right away ... I need some time after that."

Lisa brushed a stray hair from his clammy forehead and spoke softly.

"No ... Don't worry. I won't bring something to eat for another hour or so. Rest until then. Next time shouldn't be as bad Steve. It WILL get easier. Your nerves just have to gradually readjust to the sensation of touch as they heal. Just rest now, ok?"

Steve nodded gratefully and let his eyes close again as he heard Mike speak to Lisa.

"It's ok. I'll watch him. He'll be alright ... "

He felt Mike rub his back in soothing circles as he heard the room door open and then close again as he assumed the nurse had left and then heard Mike's voice again in his ear.

"You did real good Buddy boy. I'm proud of you. You did REAL good ..."

 **A/N : Sorry for the update delay. Kids on Easter Holiday break makes writing time more difficult to find but this chapter is slightly longer than the others to make up for the delay. I'd like to use this opportunity to wish a very Happy Easter to all the wonderful readers and writers here at the fandom. Your continued support and feedback is, as always much appreciated. :-)**

 **I've also had a few guest inquiries lately about when I will get back to my unfinished stories. When this story is complete I will return to them and complete them one at a time. I do intend to finish them as soon as possible and have been working on them as well as my current story. Seeing that a long time has passed since they were updated last I felt that it was better to fully complete each one before returning to post it fully and that has caused the delay apart from Real life and a flighty muse.** **I do however appreciate your patience in this regard.**


	19. Chapter 19

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 19

Steve's labored breathing gradually slowed as Mike remained by his side, closely watching his former partner struggle with the aftermath of the nerve desensitization, his hand still resting on the young man's back and his voice still encouraging and soothing. After several long, tortuous minutes, Mike felt Steve finally relax. His breathing evened out and the visible, unbearable discomfort that had etched the young man's pale features moments before seemed to slowly diminish. His eyes still remained closed and Mike wondered by his almost worrying stillness if he had fallen asleep. Placing a gentle hand on the back of Steve's head, he spoke softly.

"Steve? ... Are you awake?"

Steve gently stirred and his eyes opened slowly. Looking sideways at Mike he answered quietly but his voice still sounded a little strained and his eyes still held the visible signs of the torture he had just endured.

"Yeah ... I'm ok Mike ... It's ... getting easier ..."

Steve's strained words belied their meaning.

"Yeah? ... Only it doesn't sound like it Buddy boy ... Is it still burning?"

"No ... not as bad as before. It just takes a little time to calm down ... that's all ..."

Mike frowned.

"Has it been that sensitive for long? "

"The last few weeks ... Before that ... it was just very sore ..."

"Steve? Why do you always cover your scar? Is it so that no-one will touch it ... or see it?"

Steve didn't answer right away. He met Mike's eye and then looked away, as if he was deciding how much he should reveal. Eventually, he replied dolefully.

"Both ... I ... I really hate it Mike."

The depth of emotion and abhorrence in Steve's reply chilled Mike to the bone.

"I know you do ... Hey, let me show you something ...I don't think I've ever shown you this before ..."

Steve lifted his head slightly off the pillow, suddenly filled with curiosity as he watched as Mike pushed his chair back and started rolling up his left trouser leg until it hitched up over his knee. Then turning his knee slightly to the left, he pointed to a spot behind his knee where as Steve looked a little closer he saw the visible but long since healed remnants of a nasty looking five inch scar. Steve's expression changed from misery to shock in seconds and he looked back up at Mike, his eyes filled now with sympathy and horror.

"God Mike! Where did you get that?"

"Shrapnel ... They took a six inch long piece of sharp metal out from behind that knee ..."

Steve jaw dropped as he took in this new revelation.

"Is that why your knee gets stiff sometimes?"

"Yes ... Luckily they fixed it up pretty good. It doesn't affect my job and I still pass the medical .. but every now and then it just reminds me it's still there like ... when I have to sit on floors ..." Mike added, ruffling Steve's hair teasingly as he saw how serious Steve was taking the discovery.

"Did that happen ... in Iwo Jima?"

Mike nodded.

"That's right. Although it could have been a lot worse. Three men to my left weren't so lucky. Jameson, Parker and Tucker ... Isn't that funny? I still remember their names after all this time. Me and a guy called Jenkins heard the initial sound of the incoming missile. It makes a whistling noise, loud and unnerving. My gut that day told me it was heading straight at us so I pushed him to my right and we hit the ground just as it went off ... He was a young fellow, a lot like you. Energetic and enthusiastic ..."

Mike went silent and Steve swallowed hard ... Mike had never spoken in such detail about Iwo Jima to him before and yet today Mike was opening up about some of the horrors he had witnessed and now in this current story, he had been a victim of.

"Did Jenkins ... make it?"

"We both did but ... Jenkins lost a foot. It was too badly ... Well they ... couldn't save it ..."

Mike seemed lost in those memories for a few seconds before Steve's voice pulled him back from them.

"God Mike ... "

"Oh don't worry. Would you believe he went on to be a successful lawyer? That's right. He got one of those prosthetic feet and he lived with his disability. Last I heard he'd moved back East and settled down, started a family."

"I get it Mike ... I have to just make the most of things, right? Is that the point of that story?"

Rolling back down his trouser leg, Mike spoke seriously.

"Partially. We all have our scars Buddy boy, some more visible than others. Some don't show except inside. Scars are signs that we lived and battled and came out the other side still strong and fighting. They're not signs of an imperfection Steve. They're a sign that you were stronger than what tried to hurt you. "

Steve nodded feebly.

"Yeah, I know that ... I mean it makes sense but ... I know this sounds really shallow Mike but it's ...it's ugly and I won't be able to hide it like you can ... What about when I get the all clear to go swimming again or if I ... I meet someone? I ... I can't let them see this Mike ..."

Steve was struggling to verbalize his feelings, his voice betraying his shattered emotions every now and then as the words struck a chord with him but luckily Mike knew what he meant and stopped him from continuing as he patted Steve's shoulder.

"I know what you're trying to say ... Believe it or not ... Helen felt the same way ..."

Again Steve reeled where he lay. He practically stammered the name.

"Helen? ..."

"Yes ... When they diagnosed her at first, they thought they could maybe catch it before it spread so they decided it would be best to remove one of her ... Well you get the picture ... After the operation she got really depressed. She thought I wouldn't look at her the same. Can you imagine her thinking that? ... She said that she felt different. She wouldn't let me even see her at first. She made me talk to her through a curtain ..."

Steve could feel his eyes start to water as Mike recounted more horrors from his past, ones that suddenly made his own insecurities feel pathetic in comparison. He wanted to stop him from continuing but he found he couldn't make his voice work anymore so he stayed and waited as Mike continued his story.

"I asked her why she didn't want to see me and you know what she said Buddy boy?"

Steve merely shook his head, hoping Mike didn't see the tear that escaped and disappeared into his pillow.

" She said she wasn't perfect anymore and that she didn't want me to see her that way ..."

Another tear fell and Steve cleared his throat quietly before forcing the words past his lips.

"What ... did you say to that Mike?"

Mike smiled from ear to ear but Steve still saw the moisture building in the older man's eyes that gave away his heartbreak.

"I told her that no matter what the Doctor's took away, it would never change the way I felt about her. I told her ... that she was the love of my life ... the air that I breathe ... the woman of my dreams ... and that she had my heart right in the palm of her hand. I told her ... that to me she would always be perfect ... no matter what ... and that nothing would ever stop me loving her with every beat of my heart ..."

Steve almost held his breath as he heard Mike's response and he felt another tear building. He reached out his left hand and grasped Mike's arm as he saw Mike temporarily lost in the memory.

"Mike, that was really beautiful ... What ... what happened then? "

Steve couldn't believe he was asking the older man for more details but there was something deep inside him that desperately needed to know how Helen had reacted to Mike's words and if it had helped her to deal with her insecurities about her surgery.

Mike glanced back down at Steve and clasped the hand that held his arm.

"She cried ... I could hear her sobbing through the curtain and I reached a hand inside and felt her grip it.

Mike's face then lit up in a bright smile, the memory quite obviously as vividly clear in his mind as the day it had happened as he added.

"And then Buddy boy she said ... Michael Stone, how did I ever get so lucky to have you come into my life? And then she pulled me through the curtain, closer to her bed and ... she kissed me ... And do you know what Steve?"

Steve's emotions were now hanging by a thread as he stammered again.

"What? ..."

"For those few moments, everything was alright again. We just held each other ... and all that mattered was that we were together and there for each other no matter what ..."

Steve almost choked on the lump that was now present in his throat. He wanted to answer but he was struggling to find the right words to say. Watching Mike relive and remember such a tender moment put his own misery into perspective. He couldn't stop the misery that overflowed as he pulled his hand out of Mike's grip unexpectedly and covered his face in shame. The heartfelt words that followed surprised even Mike.

"Mike ... I'm so sorry you lost her ... I feel ... so stupid ..."

Seeing Steve upset he almost regretted his choice of story. Quickly moving his chair back forward he rubbed Steve's back again and spoke sincerely.

"Hey, hey now. Don't get upset. I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't tell you those stories to make you feel bad or stupid. I told you that first one to show you that when life sometimes deals us a bad hand we can still go on and make the best of it and that your new career can be just as rewarding as your old one, especially with you steering it in the right direction. And that last story ... well I told you that one to show you that if someone cares about you or loves you then they won't care about that scar OR what it looks like Steve. All they'll care about is that it's not hurting you and that the fact that it's there meant you survived and are still around to care about. And if you meet someone who is bothered by it Buddy boy then ... Well that should give you a good indication that maybe they're not the right person to be with in the first place. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

Steve didn't uncover his face but merely nodded his understanding. He was still struggling to contain the upset that hearing Mike's stories had caused and Mike finally grabbed Steve's hand and pulled it gently away from the young man's face as he spoke again softly.

"Besides Steve ... I never lost her really. She's still here and here and always will be ..."

Steve watched through tear filled eyes, blurrily as Mike pointed to his temple and his heart and then spoke again shakily, the tone of shame still quite evident in his voice.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with me Mike ... I just can't seem to get a handle on anything anymore ..."

Mike pushed stray strands of hair back off Steve's face and used his thumb to clear aside a new tear from his cheek.

"Now, now. There's nothing wrong with you. You're just tired and sore and fed up that's all and you have every right to be. This stage will pass, you'll see ... and before you know it you'll be denying anything's wrong with you again just like before, ok?" Mike added teasingly, and was heartened to see a wry smile cross Steve's face at his statement.

"You think? " was all Steve answered.

"I KNOW " was Mike's firmer response.

"Ok ... I'll take your word for it ..." Steve answered finally feeling the newest upset pass and then he spoke more clearly and sincerely.

"Mike? Thanks for telling me those stories ... I'm really glad you did ..."

"Did they help?"

"Yeah ... yeah I think they did ..."

"Good ... You know I ... I've never told that Helen story to anyone else before ... " then looking at his lap momentarily he added sadly "Not even Jeannie ... I just felt that you needed to hear it right then ... Isn't that strange?"

"You should tell her Mike ... I think she'd like to hear it ..."

Mike looked back up at Steve and smiled even wider.

"You know you're absolutely right. I WILL ... I will tell her ..."

Steve smiled briefly but then looked instantly miserable again. The endless torture and misery of this Hospital stay seemed to know no bounds and Mike was right. He WAS tired and fed up of feeling weak and so vulnerable and emotional all the time. It just didn't feel right for him and he wanted to feel strong again and more certain of things. He only hoped that Mike was right and that it was just a phase of his recovery that would pass as quickly as it had come but yet so many more trials lay ahead. More tortuous sessions of desensitization, food that would have to be consumed and possibly wouldn't stay where it was supposed to, more drugs to fog his brain and make him lose all sense of time and reality and possibly more shameful shows of weakness in front of Mike and worse again possibly strangers. _How could he possibly feel upbeat or strong with those inevitabilities hanging over him?_

Mike saw the definite downturn in his demeanor and spoke quickly to counter it.

"You ok now?"

Steve forced another smile and nodded, sensing Mike's growing concern for his emotional well being and needing to reassure him somehow.

"Yeah, I will be .. " and then catching sight of the IV line leading into his arm he had a humorous thought and used it to his advantage.

"Hey Mike?"

"What?"

"Maybe it's the fault of all that fluid they keep pushing into me, huh? Maybe it's starting to leak out of my eyes ... Maybe I should ask them to disconnect it for a while, huh?"

Steve chuckled weakly and Mike smiled at Steve's observation. Ruffling Steve's hair again playfully, he added jokingly.

"Nice try Buddy boy. But right now, with you not keeping any food down, that fluid is the only thing keeping you going. "

"Yeah I guess you're right. "

"Look Steve, you're just having a very bad day that's all. Rita said you'd have a mix of good and bad days during this time in your recovery. Today is just one of the bad ones. "

Steve nodded and then opened his mouth to say something but stopped and seemed to be trying to decide whether he should actually say whatever it was he had been going to or not.

Mike noticed his reluctance and gave him a gentle nudge.

"What? What were you going to ask? "

Steve still seemed very reluctant to continue so Mike cajoled him some more.

"Go ahead Steve. Say what you were going to. It's ok ..."

"I was just going to ask ... Well ... Helen always sounded like a really strong person ... You know? From stories you told me about her. Did ... Did she have down days when ... when she was sick?"

Steve worried that Mike wouldn't handle that question well but was relieved when Mike seemed to be ok with his question.

"Oh yes! Yes she had her down days alright. And you're right. She was the strongest woman I ever knew but that last year when she got sick, it took a lot out of her. The drugs, the treatments, the needles and the poking and prodding and the endless procedures ..."

Mike stopped mid-sentence and nudged Steve gently again.

"Sound familiar? "

"Yeah ... A little too familiar ... " Steve replied in an attempted lighthearted tone before he watched Mike continuing his previous answer.

"Anyway she had a lot of bad days but ... we got through them together."

"Did she get upset?"

"Are you kidding me? There were days she cried so much I almost had to bail her room out with a bucket!" Mike spoke humorously, trying to keep the conversation light so as not to upset the young man again with the distressing details he still recalled about that difficult time but felt that Steve didn't need to hear right now. "At least you haven't got to that stage just yet, huh Buddy boy?"

Steve looked up in horror.

"Well I hope to God it never gets THAT bad. If it does you have my permission to shoot me and put me out of my misery Mike ..."

Both men chuckled somewhat nervously at both the deadly serious and humorous side of Steve's statement.

"Well let's hope it doesn't come to that ..."

Mike felt the tension creep back into the room as Steve remained firmly in the doldrums of despair and so he clapped his hands together and had an idea.

"Say Steve? Do you know what you need?"

Startled by Mike's sudden enthusiasm and loud hand clap, Steve lifted his head once more off the pillow and a mischievous grin lit up his face as he went to answer but Mike stopped him before he could reply.

"And I don't mean your need to go home, Wiseguy! ... You need a treat!"

Steve chuckled at Mike's perception of what he had been about to answer and then looked confused as he had continued.

"A treat?"

"Yes a treat. It used to work most of the time for Helen. When I'd see her down and depressed I'd get her a treat. You know? Something she liked to cheer her up. With Helen it was roses. Boy she loved roses, every colour imaginable, but the rich pink ones were her favorite. I'd fill her room with them sometimes while she slept and it was worth every penny to see the smile on her face when she'd open her eyes and see them. Her other favorite treat was chocolate but that depended on how sick she was feeling at the time. Now let me see ... Well I don't think roses are going to do it for you, huh? And well chocolate is out because of those migraines of yours but there must be something you'd like to cheer you up. Come on. Name it. Anything at all, EXCEPT for going home mind you and I'll go and get it for you, right this minute. How does that sound, huh?"

Steve smiled at Mike's thoughtfulness but there really wasn't a single thing he wanted right at that moment except to be able to rewind the last four weeks and wait for backup before approaching Barbara Ross in that phone booth. Knowing that Mike was eagerly awaiting an answer, Steve flustered awkwardly.

"I ... I don't know Mike ... I mean I appreciate the thought. I really do but I ... I really don't feel like anything at all Mike."

"Oh come on now. There must be something you'd like."

Then thinking of something Mike announced enthusiastically.

"Hey I know ... What about that vending machine we passed by yesterday morning? How about I get you some of those sunflower seeds you like so much? What do you say?"

Instead of the cheerful reply he expected from Steve having remembered Steve's favorite snack, Steve's face seemed to sadden even more and his head laid back down against the pillow wearily. When no answer came, Mike nudged him and questioned him again.

"What? Wouldn't you like some?"

Another several awkward seconds passed before Steve replied dolefully.

"Mike? I ... I haven't eaten any of those since ... that night and to be honest I don't even feel like them anymore ..."

Steve's words tore at Mike's heart and he started to understand finally what Steve had meant about not feeling like himself anymore.

"STEVE? What are you talking about? Since the first day I met you, hardly a day has gone by without you snacking on those things. I've never known you not to have at least one packet of them in your jacket pocket ..."

"Not anymore Mike ... I don't ... even miss them ..."

Steve looked so dejected that Mike felt the need to coax him around again.

" Hey, look Steve, you ... you just haven't felt like them up to now because you've been in pain and sick that's all. If I get you some, you'll probably get your taste for them back again ... you'll see ... One day when you least expect it ..."

Steve met Mike's eye and shook his head gloomily.

"I don't think so Mike ... but thanks anyway ..."

"So there's nothing else I can get you? Nothing at all? "

Steve could see Mike getting disheartened and so he racked his foggy brain for something he could ask for.

"Well maybe ... a car magazine would be nice ... Please? "

Mike's face lit up in a smile and his enthusiasm returned immediately.

"You've got it Buddy boy! That's a good idea. Something nice to look at, huh? "

"Yeah ... "

"Any particular one?"

"No, any one will do ... Thanks ..."

Mike nodded and then noticed how tired Steve was starting to look.

"Hey, you know you look worn out Buddy Boy. Why don't you try to sleep again for a little while?"

"I don't know how I feel so tired ... I've been sleeping all afternoon." Steve spoke in disgust.

"Well, from what I've been hearing today, it looks like you've had a lot of sleep to catch up on lately. Besides, Lisa's going to be coming back in less than an hour to try and get you to eat something so it might be a good idea to try and sleep for a while, ok? I'll wait until you fall asleep and then I'll go and freshen up a little and get myself some strong, black coffee and then I'll get you that magazine for you for when you wake up, ok?"

"Ok Mike ..."

Steve WAS feeling very tired and so he closed his eyes and felt the pull of sleep calling to him. Mike smiled as he saw Steve finally resting. He sat back in his chair and watched the young man settle further into the pillow, the earlier discomfort now seemingly fully gone and the extreme tiredness now taking over. But before Steve succumbed, he spoke drowsily, his eyes still remaining closed as he spoke.

"Hey Mike? ... Can you do me one more small favor?"

Mike smiled at the young man's sleepy voice.

"Sure. Name it. What?"

A wry smile crossed Steve's lips as he opened his eyes just a crack to look at Mike and answered.

"Can you make sure that whatever food they bring me later doesn't have any anchovies in it please?"

He chuckled drowsily as his eyes slid closed again. Mike laughed.

"Sure Buddy boy. I'll see what I can do ..."

Then the tiredness overtook him as he drifted back finally into a healing sleep.

 **Across Town just pulling into the Oakland Bus Stop : 4:15 PM**

Jeannie jolted awake at the sound of the air brakes engaging. Rubbing her eyes and sitting up straighter, she looked out the window and got her bearings and smiled as she saw how close to home she now was. She found herself out of pure habit searching for Mike among the people waiting for passengers at the stop. She knew he had no way of knowing she was on her way, especially as she had been unsuccessful in reaching him by phone but it didn't stop her looking all the same. She smiled as she remembered how Mike often chose to drive across the Bay bridge in order to pick her up in Oakland, unable to wait a second longer to see his daughter on her weekend trips home. Today though, she was going to have to travel that bit further. After several minutes, the bus engine started up again and they pulled back out into traffic again.

It had been a long and tiring trip and no matter how many times Jeannie traveled it, she never really got used to it. Luckily, Jeannie was a good traveler and didn't suffer from travel sickness unlike the poor girl in the seat opposite to her that had spent most of the trip looking a tad green in the face. They had a few stops along the way where they had time to get out and stretch their legs and use the facilities but Jeannie had noticed how the girl opposite had on all three of those occasions made a clear run for the rest rooms. Jeannie had divided her time on the journey between studying, sleeping and just looking at the passing scenery. During the latter times, her thoughts had constantly drifted to Steve and Mike and the worry of what was happening without her knowledge. Passing over the Bay Bridge, Jeannie smiled wider as she saw the San Francisco vista come into view. It felt good to be coming home. It always did. While Jeannie enjoyed her time in Arizona and loved her College course and the wonderful friends that she had made there, there was always a special place in her heart for San Francisco and there always would be. She only hoped that Mike would understand her need to come home and that Steve was ok.

Half an hour later, the bus pulled into the San Francisco stop and Jeannie got off and retrieved her luggage. Dragging her suitcase behind her she once more found herself wishing that Mike was there to greet her. His welcomes were always so special and heart warming and she found herself missing him. Heading towards a line of waiting taxis, she leaned down to speak in at the driver.

"Can you take me to De Haro Street please?"

"Sure Ma'am. Hop in."

"Thank you."

Getting into the back of the taxi cab, Jeannie watched as the driver stowed her luggage in the trunk and then got back into the driver seat and they were soon on their way. The driver talked constantly but Jeannie was just content to listen and nod every now and then as he relayed several stories to her about his days as a taxi driver. She felt tired and disheveled after the long bus trip and had decided that going home first and perhaps grabbing a quick shower and a change of clothes would make her feel better before she headed for the Hospital in search of her father and Steve.

It wasn't very far to De Haro Street and after getting her luggage and paying the driver she made her way up the steps to the house and retrieving her key from her pocket, she let herself in. Leaving her suitcase and her back pack on the floor inside the door she closed the front door and walked towards the kitchen.

"Mike? Mike are you home?" she called out but was rewarded with the sound of silence.

Frowning, she went straight to the phone and pulling the phone book towards her she rifled through the pages until she found the one she needed. Dialing the number in the book, she waited with the receiver to her ear until after several rings a woman finally answered.

"Hello, Franklin Hospital. How may I help you?"

"Hello. I'm looking to see if you have a patient by the name of Steve Keller there at the minute, please?"

"Please hold for a minute."

Jeannie waited anxiously through annoying music being played in the background until the woman finally returned.

"Yes, we appear to have a patient by that name up in CCU, Ma'am."

Jeannie took a deep steadying breath.

"Are you able to tell me what his current condition is please?"

"Are you a relative Ma'am?"

"Not exactly ... But he's a very close friend of mine. I really just want to know if he's alright ... PLEASE?"

Jeannie inwardly cursed herself for sounding so desperate but she badly needed to know how he was doing. However her audible angst was rewarded as the operator put her through to the CCU department and within seconds another nurse answered the phone. Explaining who she was and inquiring after Steve the nurse kindly told her that he was recovering well after his angiogram and that he was comfortable at present. Relieved, Jeannie thanked the nurse for her help and hung up, taking several more deep breaths to steady her jangled nerves. She figured that Mike was probably still down there but just in case Steve had been just trying to make her feel better, she picked up the phone again and dialed Bryant Street. She recognized the dulcet tones of Norm Haseejian on the other end of the line.

"Norm? This is Jeannie. Is Mike there?"

"Oh hi Jeannie! No, your Dad's on a few days leave. You want me to leave him a message for you?"

"No ... No that's alright. I'll catch him again. Thanks Norm. Bye."

Hanging up, strangely pleased that he was not in work, she was satisfied that he was more than likely still at the Hospital with Steve and smiled to herself, glad that her father had finally seen sense and was being there for Steve at long last. Feeling happier about things now, there was just the worry about how Mike would react to her coming home so soon to her exams, but she would deal with that later when she had to. For now she was just glad to be home and strongly felt that she was right where she needed to be for both their sakes. Deciding to head upstairs for a quick shower and a change before she headed to the Hospital to face the music, she went to grab her suitcase but passing the sideboard as she did, her Mother's picture drew her attention. It was always one of the first things that always greeted her as she returned home every time and she found a strange comfort in seeing it. She smiled and placed a finger along the frame, wishing that instead of the photograph her mother's arms were there to surround her in a welcoming hug. Instead she had to settle for the familiar warm smile that shone out at her from behind the polished glass and with a renewed courage and sense of purpose she grabbed her suitcase and headed up the stairs.


	20. Chapter 20

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 20

 **Back at Franklin Hospital 5:00pm : Room 5**

Mike had slipped out of Steve's room several minutes after Steve had fallen back to sleep. He had freshened up in the restroom across the corridor and felt more awake than he had been, helped also by the two large cups of strong, black coffee he had also managed to consume within the last hour that Steve had been asleep. He had headed for the Hospital shop down in the lobby and had ended up purchasing three different car magazines, having not been able to decide which one Steve would prefer and he picked up a fishing magazine for himself to flick through in order to pass the time back up in CCU. As he had begun to head back to Steve, something made him head in a different direction and arriving back up to the vending machine from yesterday he had decided to purchase two packets of sunflower seeds ... just in case. It had really disturbed him that Steve had given up the snack he loved so much and the older man felt that perhaps if they were near and accessible to the young man, that maybe on a better day they would appeal to him once more.

As the two packets had dropped noisily into the dispensing tray of the machine, Mike had chuckled to himself. How many times had the shells of those infernal things driven him crazy? As he retrieved the two packets and held them in his hand, he remembered all the times he had made a fuss when he had found them strewn around the LTD or left on his desk after their many case consultations. He recalled the numerous lectures he had given to Steve about the need to clean up after his eating habits and the times too numerous to recall fully, he had seen his former partner mulling over details of a case while almost subconsciously shelling and subsequently munching on his favorite snack. How many times had Steve pulled over while they were out and about on duty when he would discover to his horror that he was all out! He remembered the waste paper bin beside Steve's desk always filled with empty shells and saddened as he thought about the health food wrappers and empty smoothie cups that now filled it on a daily basis instead. Those seeds were as synonymous with Steve as his fedora was with him and he thought about the irony of how he would now give up his beloved fedora just to find them on his desk now or to see Steve consuming them again like his old self. It had only been when another person had come to use the machine to make a purchase that Mike had been torn from his thoughts and he had excused himself politely to return to CCU.

Now as he sat once more beside Steve's bed back in CCU, reading half-heartedly about the advantages of one type of fish bait over another, he heard the first half mumbled groan that alerted him that something was most terribly wrong. Putting down the magazine on the bedside locker, Mike had leaned forward to try and ascertain whether he had actually heard a groan or not when he noticed Steve almost jump where he lay. Still almost over on his stomach he saw Steve's facial expression that had appeared peaceful and at rest just seconds before, change to one of distress and discomfort. His breathing had quickened and his heart rate monitor had picked up audibly. Becoming alarmed by the new developments Mike had laid a gentle hand on Steve's back and felt the young man practically go rigid under his touch. Quickly pressing the call button for help, Mike spoke softly to the young man as the alarming episode continued. Steve was now almost gasping for breath, a low moaning now adding to Mike's concern.

"Steve? Steve, wake up. What's wrong Steve? Steve, it's Mike. Come on, wake up for me now Buddy boy!"

The door to Steve's room burst open and an equally alarmed looking Lisa entered and hurried towards Mike and her patient.

"What's happening Mike? His heart rate is after elevating."

Mike spoke in a panicked tone.

"I'm not sure. He just starting moaning all of a sudden and his breathing is very off. Lisa, I ... I can't seem to wake him ..."

Lisa could see and hear the worry in Mike's voice. Getting closer to her patient she took his pulse and assessed his condition just as Steve started mumbling breathlessly, alarming them both further.

"No ... No ... please ... NO!"

Every muscle in Steve's body was still tensed up and the new yell confirmed what Mike had begun to realize.

"LISA ... I think he's having a nightmare. We HAVE to wake him up."

"Quickly, let's roll him back over onto his back Mike ..."

Together they rolled him but rather than helping Steve, he seemed to become more agitated by the movement. Breathing even more erratically, he remained rigidly still, his closed eyes twitching as Mike tried harder to wake him, shaking him as forcibly as he could without touching or disturbing his chest wound.

"Steve? You have to wake up. STEVE!"

 **From Steve's POV :**

Steve had fallen asleep very quickly, the overwhelming tiredness pulling him under almost against his will. His mind was racing, filled with so many thoughts which caused strange dreams to manifest themselves. He pictured Mike on a battlefield somewhere. In his head he could hear the loud whistling of incoming bombs and constant gunfire and felt his own heart constrict from the terror that filled the air. He could see Mike injured, the shrapnel sticking out from behind his knee, but could see him tending to the young boy beside him with little concern for his own injuries except for the distinct pained look on his face. He wanted to run over and help but found he couldn't move. The scene changed alarmingly in a dizzying blur and he was now watching Mike sit beside a Hospital bed instead. There was a curtain around it and Mike was talking to someone inside the curtain ... It must be ... Helen! But it ... it couldn't be ... Helen was gone ... _He couldn't really be seeing this_ ... There were uncharacteristic tears free flowing down Mike's cheeks and a pale hand came through the curtain and touched the older man's face. Steve once more felt the need to go forward and comfort Mike but again something was stopping him. The scene lurched once more in a violent fashion and this time he felt himself lying face down against a cold, wet surface. The all too familiar recurring dream brought a sense of panic with it. _Oh no! Not this again ... He had to wake up! ..._

He was lying on that pavement again, the chilled, damp concrete lay against his cheek. The numbing cold froze him to the spot as the pain in his chest grew and labored his breathing. He heard the car start, the gears grind and the loud squeak of the tires as it reversed and sped again forward but ... then the brakes had screeched to a halt and the car had stopped near him! He heard the car door open and the definite sound of a woman's footsteps approaching him. He felt so strange. He couldn't move or speak. His lungs were struggling to work and he could feel blood oozing steadily out of his chest wound. Time felt like it had slowed down and he felt strange palpitations replace his normal heart rhythm. He knew that he was hurt bad. He felt panic grip him as he heard the person approach. He felt a foot touch his side and roll him over and saw to his horror, Barbara Ross standing over him. She still had the gun in her hand and she pointed it at his head. He wanted to shout "NO!" but his voice wouldn't work. He watched her through open eyes that begged for mercy, but her eyes were cold and unforgiving and he saw no compassion in them.

Fearing the worst he closed his eyes and waited for the second bullet that would mean his certain death but instead he heard a sneering laugh. Opening his eyes again, the effort of performing that simple feat alone draining him of energy, he watched as she lowered the gun and bent down and with a rough hand she pulled his jacket aside and he felt her put her finger in the place where her bullet had expertly hit its mark. The pain her touch caused made his back arch involuntarily and she smiled and spoke in a cold, heartless voice.

"Stupid cop! ... You're already done for ... Such a pity ... seeing as you're so handsome ... You shouldn't have tried to stop me ... "

She had then trailed a bloodied finger up along his chest, his neck and up along his jawline to rest against his quivering lips, the metallic taste and her unwanted touch repulsing him to the point of making him feel nauseous. A very distant sound of sirens came to his ears and he watched as she had looked panicked and raced back to her car and this time took off at high speed, leaving him there bleeding out and alone. He felt his life ebbing slowly away and thought of Mike and Jeannie. He desperately tried to hold on but the darkness was closing in as the sirens got louder and more footsteps and yells echoed around him in the damp night air. Dan had suddenly appeared at his side, the horror and desperation in his young friend's voice gut-wrenching, as he had heard him speaking to him and telling him to hold on but yet he couldn't respond. He felt his arms and legs going bone-chillingly numb as he heard Dan telling those around him how bad it looked and how close to his heart the bullet seemed to have struck. How he had wished in that moment that it was Mike tending to him. He had wanted to see him one last time ... But yet he could hear Mike calling him. He couldn't see him, only Dan and the other officers that were now holding him and pressing painfully on his wound to try and stem the flow of blood but again he heard Mike's voice loud and clear calling his name ... Someone was shaking him. _Ow! It hurt! Stop!_ He felt the scene fading and feared the worst until with a violent start his eyes opened and he saw Mike's face right in front of his. He sucked in a painful, long gasping breath as he heard Mike speaking to him urgently.

"STEVE! It's alright. You're ok. You were just DREAMING Steve. You're ok now. Look at me. You're in the hospital Buddy boy. Everything's alright ... Calm down Steve ... Breathe nice and slowly for me now ..."

Steve had woken with a start finally but the horrified look he had on his face when he had woken up, chilled Mike to the bone. Whatever nightmare he had been having ... it had been a doozy! Mike had a gut feeling that he had been reliving the night of the shooting. The young man was shaking all over, his breathing still labored, the heart monitor beeping alarmingly fast and the look on his face was a blank one of confusion and terror just as it had been the night he had found Dan kneeling over him four weeks ago.

Steve saw a woman's form out of the corner of his eye and panicked again briefly as he worried that Ross had come back again. He turned his head and saw someone bending over him to his left. He relived the vision of Barbara Ross bending over him and the young man visibly recoiled from the nurse. Seeing Steve's strange reaction to the nurse, Mike intervened again.

"Steve, that's only Lisa, your nurse. "

As Mike's words sunk in, the vision of Ross morphed back into the nurse he now recognized as Lisa and he breathed in and out deeply a few times to try and regain his composure. It had all felt so real, just like all the other times except that this time there were witnesses to his torment which only made it all the worse. He felt himself shaking violently and tried to stop it but he was finding it harder to stop than he imagined. He heard Lisa's voice in full professional mode.

"Steve, are you in pain?"

Steve didn't want to answer questions. He was trying too hard to stop the shaking and to get his heart rate and breathing to settle down. He was still feeling the hopelessness and fear that reliving that moment had caused and was also trying to stop the upset from resurfacing. He shook his head in reply and forced shaky words past his reluctant lips.

"No ... I'm ... ok ..."

Mike frowned as did Lisa. Steve was anything but ok. Still sensing his trouble breathing, she tried to get him to take some oxygen from the mask to alleviate the difficulty and restore his breathing back to normal but the last thing Steve wanted was the claustrophobic mask against his face and he fought the move strongly.

"No .. No, I don't need that ... I'll be ... alright in a minute ... "

Knowing she was fighting a losing battle and seeing the alarm that introducing the mask had caused, Mike spoke in his defense.

"Lisa, maybe we could just open a window instead, huh? It does get a little stuffy in these rooms with the equipment and everything ... I think that will help ..."

Lisa hung back up the mask in defeat and headed over to the window to open it a bit and let the late afternoon breeze rush in and revive the stale air in the room. From where he lay on the bed, Steve felt the welcome breeze against his face and Mike saw him taking in greater gulps of air and knew that he had made the right suggestion.

"Is that better Buddy boy?"

Steve merely nodded and sent a grateful glance in Mike's direction. The fresh air did feel good and his breathing started to ease considerably along with his heart rate that was very slowly returning to a more relaxed rhythm. The breeze was cooling and refreshing and he realized in that moment how much he missed it, being cooped up in the stuffy, sterile environment of his Hospital room. With both pairs of eyes watching him anxiously, Steve felt suddenly too exposed and so he closed his eyes to block out their faces while he tried to get a handle on his wavering emotions. He felt Mike stroking his forehead in a renewed attempt to soothe him.

"Shush Steve ... Take it easy now ... That was one hell of a nightmare Buddy boy!"

Opening his eyes again he saw Mike smiling at him and he stared back at the older man dolefully and spoke in an unsteady voice, feeling an uncharacteristic need to finally share his torment and tell someone about what he had endured.

"It ... It wasn't a nightmare Mike ..."

Mike's smile faded as he heard Steve's unexpected response. He could tell by Steve's unnerving stare that there was more to the story that he wanted to tell but with Lisa in the room the younger man was going to find it difficult to continue, so suddenly knowing what had to be done, he turned to where Lisa was adjusting the window so that it would stay open a little without freezing her patient completely and he spoke purposefully.

"Lisa, do you think you could rustle up some hot sweet tea for him please? I think it would help settle him a bit. "

Along with the question he sent a wordless request for some time alone with Steve as he had earlier during his fall and once more he was relieved that Lisa seemed to understand. She nodded and smiled in his direction.

"Of course. That's a good idea. But ... just press the button if you need me in the meantime ... Ok?"

Mike knew what she was telling him and smiled his gratitude back.

"Sure ... I will ... Thank you ..."

Mike waited patiently until Lisa had left the room before he turned and spoke more seriously to the younger man.

"Steve? What did you mean by it wasn't a nightmare? "

Steve swallowed hard and continued shakily.

"I thought it was ... All the other times but ... it wasn't Mike ... It's always the same ... Exactly the same ... I ... I lived it Mike ..."

Mike was starting to get anxious. He wasn't sure what Steve was trying to tell him and yet he had a bad feeling in his gut that was telling him that whatever it was, was not going to make for easy listening. Steve's alarming phrase of "All the other times ... " hadn't been lost on him either as he wondered just how many times that same episode had happened, perhaps with no one around to witness it.

"Ok, ok Steve. I'm listening. What Steve? What did you live through that was so bad?"

"She ... she didn't just drive away Mike ... "

Mike's heart skipped a beat as he had a gut feeling who the "she" was, that he was talking about.

"Barbara Ross?"

Steve nodded, his heart rate picking up again even at the mention of her name. Steve's confirmation shook Mike where he sat. They had been under the impression that Ross had shot Steve and then drove away at high speed but it looked like there was another chilling side of the story that Steve had never revealed.

"But Steve, she got in her car. Didn't you tell us that?"

"Yeah, she did ... But she stopped again ... Beside where I fell ... I tried to walk after I was ... shot, but I couldn't get my feet to move forward. I fell face down on the pavement. I heard her car start and the tires spin but then ... it screeched to a halt ... right beside me. I heard the car door open and her footsteps coming towards me ..."

Mike found himself almost holding his breath as he listened to Steve's heart-rending account of his living nightmare.

"She got out of the car again and went over to you?"

"Yeah ... She used her foot to turn me over. She ... she still had the gun and she ... she pointed it at my head ..."

Steve's heart rate was increasing again and his eyes were visibly starting to water. Mike felt an overwhelming anger towards Ross that surpassed any previous feelings of abhorrence he held for the cold-hearted killer who had almost taken his partner away. He pushed that emotion to one side in order to help Steve deal with the current telling of his torment.

"Alright Steve. I know this is difficult to talk about but you've got to try and do it calmly Buddy boy. Take nice slow breaths and try to keep your heart from racing ... Alright?"

Steve nodded and Mike heard him breathing more heavily for several seconds. As he saw Steve making an effort to do as he asked, he ventured his next question cautiously.

"She was going to ... shoot you a second time?"

"That's what I thought ... I couldn't get my voice to work Mike. I just lay there watching her. Her eyes were so cold Mike. Like black, empty pools. There wasn't any humanity in them. I waited for the ... second shot ..."

Steve voice broke briefly and he shuddered. Mike dry swallowed as he thought of the hell Steve must have gone through in that horrifying moment. Placing a hand on the young man's arm, he encouraged him to continue.

"What happened then Steve?"

"She ... she lowered the gun. She bent down and she pulled my jacket to the side and ... she put her finger on my chest where the ... first bullet hit and ... and she smiled Mike. Like ... like she was proud of ... how accurate her shot had been ..."

A tear escaped down Steve's left cheek and he shivered again as he recalled the killer's cold, merciless touch against his skin. He felt Mike's hand tighten on his arm before he heard Mike's voice again.

"She was checking you. She didn't want you left as a witness."

Steve nodded and then found the strength to continue his narrative.

"She spoke to me Mike. She called me a "stupid cop" and told me I was already done for. Then we both heard the distant sirens and she panicked and got back in the car and sped off ..."

Mike still gripped Steve's arm but sat back in his chair trying to process this new information which made Barbara Ross a more chilling and calculated character than they had already known she was. She had been quite prepared to "finish him off" if necessary but his fatal looking wound had in fact ironically now appeared to have actually saved his life. He glanced back at Steve and saw the young man staring into space, still tormented by that vision as he obviously had been since the shooting. He leaned forward purposefully again.

"Steve? Why didn't you mention this before?"

"Like I said Mike. I thought it was just a nightmare. But it's always the same. I was so far gone then Mike. Everything was so surreal that I ... I felt I couldn't trust my account of it but it was real Mike ... I can still remember her standing over me, pointing that gun and then touching me and how it felt ... It happened Mike. God help me, it really happened ... You've got to believe me Mike ..."

Steve was finding it more difficult to speak. His words were getting caught in his throat as the emotions of that night came back to overwhelm him. Mike saw the young man's struggle and spoke sympathetically.

"Hey, hey now. I never said I didn't believe you. There were tire burn marks on the road beside where you went down. That would tie in with your account of her stopping. And it fits her MO. She didn't want witnesses left behind. She was checking how badly you were injured. But you know what that means don't you Buddy boy?"

"What?"

"It means that ironically, getting shot in the heart is what ultimately saved your life. If you hadn't been shot as seriously, she would have finished you off for sure. "

That revelation shook Steve to the core. He hadn't thought of that! Mike was right. Something that had almost killed him had in fact saved him in the end. Seeing Steve's shocked reaction to his statement, Mike decided a touch of lighter conversation was called for so he leaned in and spoke in a soft tone.

"But ... I guess she hasn't been the only one lately that's underestimated your fighting spirit, huh Buddy boy?"

Steve looked at Mike and knew he was referring to his own self doubt in his own abilities to get over this trauma and finally a small smile played lightly around his lips as he nodded. But Mike noticed that it looked so out of place with the tear filled eyes and the pale features and the toll that reliving his trauma had taken. Before he had a chance to pull things back a little, Steve's voice wavered again.

"Mike? I'm worried about the trial. I'm going to have to face her again ..."

Steve's honest and heart rending admission rocked Mike for a second time. He could tell that prospect was very disturbing to the young man in the bed and he found he couldn't really blame him. After all she had almost killed him. Reliving the trauma in a dream or in the telling was one thing but to face his demon face to face WAS he could only imagine, a harrowing prospect.

"Listen, don't worry about that now. The trial is months away and when that time comes you'll be more healed and much stronger and ... anyway I'll be right there with you every inch of the way Steve."

Steve's eyes met his and Mike cringed inwardly at the depth of despair he saw within their green depths.

"Not on the stand you won't be ... It will be just me ... and her staring at me ... just like that night ..."

"Steve? If you let her get to you, she's won. You've faced people before on the stand ... Many times. Even psychos like Leonard Cord. It's never bothered you before."

"This is different Mike. She's different. I ... don't know how it's going to go down Mike ..."

"Alright, alright I know. But we'll deal with that when it happens alright? We'll work something out, ok?. Just don't think about that now Steve. You've got to take one step at a time in order to get through this. You can't think so far ahead. Today's battle is getting you to eat remember? Leave that battle for another day ok?"

Steve nodded.

"Ok ... I'll try ..."

"Good man ... Listen Steve, you said earlier that you ... well that you were so far gone Steve ... What did you mean by that?"

Steve looked away briefly as the feelings of that night returned vividly.

"I can't describe it Mike ... But I remember it ... It was so ... surreal ..."

"Try Steve ... Will you?"

Steve knew that Mike was trying to invoke Lenny's methods. Getting him to talk about the trauma in order to get past it. He stared at Mike for several unnerving seconds, wondering if he could find the words that would describe how he had felt in those harrowing moments before he had arrived at the Hospital and lost consciousness. He finally decided there was no harm in trying.

"I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I felt so cold and my legs and arms went numb. I could still hear and see but ... that was all. I was struggling to breathe and the pain got gradually worse ... But then I ... couldn't feel it at all ..."

He felt Mike squeeze his arm again and realized his voice was breaking again. He stopped and took another deep breath.

"I was trying to hold on Mike but ... I could feel myself slipping away and I ... I couldn't stop it from happening ... And then I ... I couldn't see ... Everything was just really black ... I ... I couldn't see you Mike ..."

Mike felt his own chest constrict as he heard Steve recount his near miss with death. But that last sentence caught him by surprise. When he had held Steve in the back of the car on the way to Franklin, Steve's eyes had been open but now that he thought about it, they had been very glazed and unfocused. Still the revelation hit him hard.

"You COULDN'T see me?" he found himself repeating incredulously.

Steve merely shook his head. Seeing Mike's bad reaction, he felt the need to clarify a little.

"I could hear you though and I ... felt you holding me. I heard you telling me not to quit on you. I remember how ... you sounded ..."

Mike tried to shake of the shock and responded to Steve's statement.

"Terrified ... I probably sounded terrified because ... well that's how I was feeling ... I really thought I was going to lose you Buddy boy ... You felt so cold that well ... I don't mind admitting that it gives me the shivers just thinking about it. I knew it was close Buddy boy but I guess I didn't fully realize just how close it was."

Steve nodded dolefully and seemed lost in his own memories of that dreadful time and Mike decided that enough was enough. He had spoken of it enough to please even the likes of Lenny. It had to have helped, so now it was time to get him out of the doldrums and back on the right track.

"Close Steve ... but you made it back. Don't you see Steve? You went right to that thin line and you made it back and that's gotta COUNT for something. It wasn't your time Buddy boy. Now you have to seize that second chance and make it work for you. Just think of all those kids in college you're gonna help, huh? Assistant Professor Keller. Has a nice ring to it , doesn't it? And with your ambition and drive, well ... Let's just say if I was Professor Powell I'd be worried for my job in the future with you on the way up."

Mike beamed proudly, his enthusiastic smile lighting up the dull room and Steve couldn't help but smile back.

"You always believe in me don't you? Even when sometimes ... I stop believing in me ..."

Mike reached out and ruffled Steve's hair playfully.

"I always have and I always will ... Everyone deserves someone who believes in them Steve. "

Steve looked down at the bed and smiled.

"Then I guess I am ... fairly lucky huh?"

"And don't you forget it " Mike answered, half laughing just as a knock came to the door.

Steve's smile turned to panic in seconds as he brushed his hand through his hair and rubbed at his eyes to clear all traces of the upset and trauma of the last few minutes.

"Oh God Mike! Who's that? Maybe it's Dan again. Mike I don't want to see anybody, not like this ... Not yet."

"Steve will you calm down. We don't even know who it is yet. Just ... just pretend to be asleep. Whoever it is, I'll get rid of them ok?"

Steve nodded and turned his head facing away from the door and shut his eyes in pretend sleep as Mike pulled the sheet up around Steve's neck and shouted "Come in!"

The door opened slowly and Mike watched as an older lady in a green catering uniform appeared carrying a metal tray. Steve kept his eyes closed and was listening to see who it was with anxious anticipation as the woman's cheerful voice echoed through the room.

"Good evening gentlemen. I was asked to bring this to room five. The request was sent by Dr. Kramer for somebody on a light diet. "

Mike smiled at the kindly woman and gently but surreptitiously patted Steve's arm to let him know everything was alright and under control. He then spoke to her in a whispered tone.

"He's asleep at the minute but you can leave it with us, thank you very much."

Steve almost snickered at Mike's blatant white lie but was nudged gently by the older man as a sign to stay quiet. The older lady appeared apologetic and lowered her tone in response.

"Oh I am sorry. Would you like me to set it up for you on the over the bed table?"

"That would be great thanks. I'll wake him up in a while and make sure he gets it."

Another very quiet snicker erupted from Steve and Mike cleared his throat at the same time to cover it up.

"Oh dear! Perhaps I should have brought some tea for you too. That dry throat sounds nasty. Can I get you something? It's really no trouble."

Steve's body shook under Mike's hand as he tried desperately to stop the fit of the giggles that the exchange taking place in his room was causing. Mike nudged him again and spoke a little more uneasily.

"Oh no, I'm just fine thank you. It's just the hot air in here, that's all. "

Another shake manifested under his hand as the lady placed the tray down and left as Mike politely said goodbye to the woman. As soon as the door closed, Steve burst out giggling, holding his chest to stop the laughter from hurting. Mike poked his left arm playfully.

"Oh funny guy, huh? So that's the thanks I get for saving your blushes, huh? Well that's the last time I give you "undercover work" You almost blew it! "

Mike's play on words only served to make Steve giggle even more and he held his chest tighter as Mike joined him chuckling. After a minute or two, Steve's giggles gradually subsided and he smiled again gratefully at the older man.

"Well you've done it again Mike."

"What's that? " Mike asked, his own laughter easing up slowly too.

"Made me laugh when I didn't think I was able to ... Now I know why Dr. Foster always gets you to perform for the sick kids in San Francisco General. You're better than any medicine, you know that?"

Steve's heartfelt words meant a lot and he patted Steve's arm in response as the door opened again and Lisa entered cautiously with a cup of tea in her hand.

"Were my ears deceiving me or did I just hear laughter coming from you two in here?" she asked tentatively, hoping that the laughter she had heard meant that her arrival now was opportune.

"Yes, yes you did. Everything's fine again. Isn't it Steve?"

"Yeah, yeah everything's ok."

"Well I'm glad to hear it but I had better check you over just in case."

Mike pushed his chair back as Lisa came over and checked Steve over and was pleased to see that his vital signs were all back to normal and apart from his distinct pallor and looking a little shook he appeared to be in better spirits.

"Well? Am I ok? " Steve asked a little more anxiously than he meant to.

"You're doing fine. Try to drink some of that tea and I see your food has arrived. We need to get you sitting up and then see if you can eat something for me, ok? "

Steve had forgotten about the delivered tray amid the fit of the giggles and now frowned as he looked at it. Mike could see he was about to protest and wagged an authoritative finger at him as he spoke up before Steve had the chance to complain.

"Now don't you go saying you can't before you even see what it is, hotshot. A bite to eat might be just what the Doctor ordered, Buddy boy."

"In this case it IS what the Doctor ordered!" Lisa added and Mike laughed while Steve groaned and shook his head.

Mike's bad puns were seemingly becoming infectious. He watched as Mike came around his other side and between him and Lisa they placed a hand under each arm. Then Mike issued instructions.

"Now when we lift you, scooch your rear end up to the top of the bed, ok?"

Steve started to giggle again and Mike playfully scolded him.

"Now, now don't start that again or we'll never get you sitting up."

Missing out on the private joke, Lisa smiled at the two men questioningly.

"What?"

"Oh! He just thinks it's funny whenever I say the word "scooch", that's all. He doesn't think anyone uses that word anymore." Mike explained.

Again Steve chuckled as Mike used it again and Lisa spoke seriously

"My Dad uses that word all the time."

Steve's laughter stopped and his face fell as he stared at Lisa incredulously. It was then Mike's turn to laugh as he saw Steve's reaction.

"Ha! See! I told you. You just haven't gotten around much Buddy boy."

Steve shook his head as he looked again at Mike and Lisa.

"This is a conspiracy, isn't it?"

Mike and Lisa exchanged an amused look as they gently lifted Steve together up into a sitting position and Mike pulled the tray over in front of him.

"You better believe it Buddy boy. Now let's see what culinary delights lie under the metallic cover shall we?"


	21. Chapter 21

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 21

Mike watched Steve closely and saw him looking disdainfully at the covered dish before him. Before he had a chance to press the issue again, a dark haired nurse popped her head around Steve's door and called out to Lisa.

"Lisa. Have you time to give me a hand with Mr. Alexander in room two please? He's due to have his wound cleaned and he's giving me a hard time. I'm going to need help."

Lisa frowned and felt torn. Her main aim right now was to get Steve to eat before Dr. Lowell arrived later but Lisa had seen Mr. Alexander's temper in action before and knew it wasn't fair on Loretta to let her cope on her own. She looked at Steve who was still staring somewhat disparagingly at his tray and then at the flustered looking nurse who was invoking her help at the door. Noticing her dilemma, Mike intervened thoughtfully.

"Oh that's alright. I can handle this. You go ahead and help with Mr. Alexander. We'll be fine."

Lisa smiled gratefully at the older man she had come to admire so much.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Go ahead."

Lisa nodded her gratitude and hurried out to join a rather relieved looking Loretta. As the door closed Mike turned and saw Steve still staring at the dish in the vain hope that it might just disappear if he stared at it long enough.

"Are you going to keep staring at it or are you ever going to lift the lid and see what it is first, huh?"

Steve looked up and grinned at Mike's sarcasm and dealt some back

"Well now that you mention it, I'd rather just stare at it actually ..."

Mike's serious glare in return, told Steve that the fun was now over and that Mike was back in serious mode in an earnest attempt to get him to eat. Realizing that he was going to have to get it over with sooner or later he reached out and lifted the lid and dropped it to the side and Mike grinned as it reminded him of the many times that Steve had picked an offending anchovy off his side of the pizza from Tony's and discarded it to the side with the very same look of distaste on his face. As the lid dropped away so did the very remote appetite that Steve had left. The sight of the offending dish caused a distinct green tinge to colour Steve's cheeks as he attempted to push the tray away from him ... yet Mike held it firm.

"Hey! Hey, hold on now. What's the matter?"

Steve looked sideways up at Mike incredulously at the fact that he even had to ask the question.

"What's the matter?" he repeated in a tone of utter disbelief. "LOOK at it Mike."

Mike leaned over and surveyed the dish and again to Steve's dismay he answered plainly.

"Looks ok to me."

Steve again stared at Mike open mouthed.

"Well for starters ... What IS IT?"

"Well it's obviously ... an omelette of some kind ..."

"An OMELETTE? " Steve repeated again to Mike's added annoyance as he continued to seemingly parrot everything that Mike was saying. " Mike? I don't know what kind of omelettes you eat but THAT doesn't like any omelette I've ever eaten!"

Mike in actual fact agreed with the young man in the bed but was trying to be positive about it in order to get him to eat so he tried once more to cajole Steve.

"Ok, ok it looks a little different from normal omelettes but ..."

"You THINK?" Steve interrupted, horrified that the older man was still trying to defend the merits of eating the opaque looking mess on the plate in front of him.

"... Will you let me finish? They make them in large batches in Hospitals for all the patients so ... it's just been made a while, that's all ..."

Mike frowned as he saw Steve's face contort again in disgust and he realized that his explanation hadn't really been as encouraging as he had meant it to sound. Trying again he remained upbeat and encouraged again.

"Look, it probably tastes better than it looks Steve. You've got to start eating something Buddy boy. Just try some will you? Please ... Come on ... One bite."

Mike picked up the knife and fork and cut a mouth sized piece, albeit bigger than Steve would have preferred and spearing it with the fork he handed the offending article to Steve. Steve looked once more pleadingly at Mike to let him off the hook out of pure mercy alone but Mike's gaze was relentless. Steve brought the piece steadily towards his mouth but then dropped it back onto the plate much to Mike's increasing disappointment.

"Ugh, it even smells vile Mike. I CAN'T eat that." he protested covering his nose and mouth with his good hand.

"Steve, for heaven's sake. Just hold your nose, pop it in and chew and swallow it, will you? Wash it down with the juice on the tray if you have to but get some of it in to you, will you? Come on."

Steve picked up the knife instead and started stabbing the offending omelette curiously. If Mike hadn't felt so frustrated by the whole process he actually might have laughed at Steve's careful but judgemental dissection of the omelette.

"What are you doing now? Trying to see if it's still alive?"

Steve chuckled half-heartedly at Mike's dry wit and then spoke seriously.

"Well that mightn't be a bad idea ..."

Seeing the Stone Glare again aimed in his direction he changed tactics and asked once more in a disgruntled tone.

"What are the red bits Mike?"

Mike leaned over again, his patience waning as he examined the "red bits" Steve was referring to. Not wanting to admit that he himself wasn't too sure, he flustered awkwardly.

"Tomato pieces ... I think ... Or maybe red peppers ..."

At the uncertainty, Steve stared at Mike and scowled further. Mike tried once more to rescue the situation.

"Well do you have something against red peppers or tomatoes?"

"Not usually ... NO! "

It was Mike's turn to scowl as he picked up the forked piece one last time and shoved it in Steve's direction.

"Just EAT IT, will you? PLEASE ..." Mike pleaded desperately, as his patience ran out temporarily, remembering in the moment all the times he had tried to get Jeannie to eat things she didn't like in her youth and not quite believing that here he was trying to do the same for his thirty two year old friend.

Steve glared and grabbed the fork and wrestled once more with the idea of putting it anywhere near his mouth let alone into his stomach. Knowing even by the look of it that it was going to take a lot of liquid to help him swallow it, he asked another question.

" Mike, what kind of juice is it?"

Mike picked up the glass and examined it and deciding to lighten the tension that was building in Room five by the minute, he answered humorously.

"Apple ... Or ... maybe orange."

As Steve's face fell and looked horrified, Mike chuckled uncontrollably and patted Steve's arm.

"I'm sorry ... I'm just kidding with you. It's definitely apple juice, ok? Will you relax a bit Buddy boy? "

Steve half smiled but remained serious all the same.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have to eat this!"

Starting to feel sympathy for the young man in the bed, Mike reached over and took the fork back from Steve and to the younger man's surprise he popped the piece in his own mouth. He tried to keep his face as impassive as he could but the rubbery piece of food didn't taste that good and was a struggle to chew and swallow. Putting a brave face on it, after several intense seconds of chewing the older man swallowed it and while feeling in his heart that there was no way in hell, Steve was going to be able to stomach the atrocious dish that had been offered to him, he still spoke bravely.

"See! A bit chewy but ... not that bad ..."

The older man felt bad for his little white lie but the young man HAD to eat and so he felt he was doing what he had to, to make that happen.

Steve hadn't liked the amount of time Mike had taken to chew and swallow the piece he had consumed and took one more disdainful look at the plate in front of him.

"Mike? It ... It looks like something I made earlier ..." he said as his stomach started to churn again at the mere prospect of it's imminent arrival.

Mike's face fell this time at Steve's statement and his own stomach gave a little somersault as his face distorted in disgust.

"Aw Steve! Did you have to say that after I ate some? ... Now you've even put ME off it!"

Steve grinned at Mike's reaction but was apologetic none the less.

"Sorry ... But that's what it reminds me of with all the little pieces in it ..."

" ... ALRIGHT STEVE. I get the picture. You don't have to SPELL it out for me, ok? Look. I know it's not the most appetising looking dish in the world but it's all we've got right now. Dr. Lowell is due around to see you soon and wouldn't it look better if we could at least tell him you TRIED to eat something, huh?" Mike cajoled further. "Just hold your nose, close your eyes and eat some ok? Wash it down if you have to."

Steve nodded glumly. As usual Mike was right even when he didn't really want him to be. With a renewed sense of bravado, Steve closed his eyes and popped the newly cut piece of omelette into his mouth and chewed furiously. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to gag on the first taste and texture of the food particle in his mouth. He bravely chewed for several more seconds but was starting to panic at the fact that his throat was refusing point blank to swallow it. Mike could feel Steve's anxiety increase as the tension in the room become almost palpable. Sensing Steve's difficulty, he handed the juice glass to Steve and after several mouthfuls finally the piece went down and despite two vain attempts by his gag reflex to repel it, he finally managed to get it to stay down. The toll that eating just that one piece of food had taken on Steve was worrying to the older man and he despaired at being able to get much more of the offered meal into his former partner.

By the time Lisa returned twenty minutes later into room five, the sorry scene that met her eyes sent her rushing back over towards the bed. The first thing she noticed was her patient leaning sideways to his right, looking decidedly off color, his eyes closed and his head hanging over a basin with an exhausted looking Mike rubbing the young man's back and looking totally defeated. The tray of food was pushed as far away from the bed as it could possibly be. Arriving quickly back towards the two men, she now noticed that whatever Steve had managed to consume had subsequently returned as Mike's tired sounding voice broke the silence.

"I'm sorry Lisa. He really tried his best. He got about a third of it down but the last mouthful he managed to swallow just brought the whole lot back up again. I don't know what we're going to do to get him to eat AND manage to keep it down."

Lisa felt sorry for the older man who she could tell by the audible concern in his voice was feeling anxious about Steve's inability to eat properly. Taking charge she spoke positively.

"It's not uncommon Mike for there to be appetite issues with patients recovering from heart surgery. We'll just have to go about it a little differently that's all. "

Then turning to Steve who was trembling slightly after his recent traumatic ordeal, she placed a soothing hand against his forehead as she checked for a raised temperature cleverly at the same time. Relieved when she felt the cool skin beneath her fingertips, she spoke softly.

"Steve? Are you ok now? Has the nausea passed?"

Steve merely nodded his head weakly and so Lisa removed the offending basin and started cleaning up. Soon the tray of food had been removed from Steve's sight and he was sitting up, albeit lying back against the pillows, still with a decidedly green tinge to his face. He had thin beads of sweat along his brow line and remained worryingly quiet as he rested with his eyes closed. Mike now had a firm grip of the young man's hand that lay on the bed and was watching him closely, concern etched all over his face. Lisa came around to the older man and spoke in a hushed tone, reassuringly.

"Mike, please try not to worry. At least he tried and we know that he's just not able to keep food down yet. We can tell Dr. Lowell that when he gets here. It's best to just let him rest for now. Other than the nausea, he's doing fine."

But Mike shook his head reproachfully, his eyes never leaving Steve for a second.

"No, no it's my fault. I kept giving him more and more pieces. I just thought ... Well if we could just get him to keep it down that he might turn the corner but the more I got him to eat, the more he was struggling and the ... more he was gagging. Even then I kept telling him to try and keep it from coming back. I could tell he was doing his best to try and keep me happy but when he swallowed that last piece, the gagging got worse. I ... I was afraid he was going to choke so I told him to get rid of it. Maybe if I'd just stopped a little earlier, he might have kept some of it down but NO ... I had to keep PUSHING him! "

Mike balled his left hand into a fist and brought it up to his mouth, his annoyance with himself palpable. Lisa put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Mike you mustn't blame yourself. If Steve's stomach wasn't ready to accept food even one piece wouldn't have stayed down. It's not your fault. You meant well."

"Between you and me, I don't think that so called Hospital food is helping matters any either. It's really awful. It tastes and looks like cardboard!"

Lisa smiled again at Mike's comments.

"Well, I can't really disagree with you there. It's not the best but ... don't tell them I said that." she added lightheartedly, desperately trying to bolster the older man's visibly sagging spirits but Mike was barely listening as he was trying to figure out a solution to Steve's eating problems singlehandedly.

"I'd make him something myself and bring it in for him but I only know how to make a few dishes and most of them include fish of some sorts and somehow I don't think tuna casserole would sit too well wth his stomach the way it is right now. Now my daughter Jeannie ... well she's a GREAT cook ... just like ... her mother Helen was. "

Mike's face grew sad and Lisa watched as he paused briefly before continuing.

"She was managing to get him to eat while she was home but ... well she had to go back to college you see. She's studying in Arizona you know? Architecture and social planning, would you believe? "

Lisa felt a strange vibe emanating from the older man and again felt the need to intercede.

"Sounds like you really miss her when she's away at College, huh?"

Mike covered the truth with a smile as he answered the kindly young nurse.

"That obvious, huh? Yeah ... I miss her but ... well my work keeps me busy and ... Hey wait a minute! I almost forgot. Jeannie left loads of food for him in his freezer. Say do you think it would be ok to bring some of that food in to try and get him to eat?"

Lisa was relieved to hear the definite rise in Mike's spirits and the return of his vibrant enthusiasm and she beamed back accordingly.

"I'm sure that won't be a problem Mike, but for now ... I think we're going to have to go back to basics with him. "

"Basics? What does that mean?"

"Nutrition shakes. We'll start him off with those until his stomach settles a little then we should be able to progress more slowly onto real food. But he'll get there Mike. They always do."

Mike's face had turned thoughtful as Lisa had mentioned the nutrition shakes.

"I remember those. Helen used to have to take them when she was really sick and couldn't stomach anything ... just like Steve is now. She said they tasted alright. You think he'll manage those?"

Lisa smiled .

"I think he should manage those. Let him just get over that for now and I'll bring him one in a while and we'll see ... Besides, it's six o clock now. Rita will be back on duty in an hour's time. She's an expert when it comes to getting the patients to eat again. He'll be alright. "

At the mention of the time, Mike quickly glanced at his watch and startled as he saw how late it was. While in some ways Mike felt that it hadn't been that long since Rita had gone home, in other ways with the strain of the days events having fully taken their toll on the older man, it had seemed an eternity in other ways since she'd been there helping him to keep counsel. The mention of Rita's imminent return also had a strangely uplifting effect on his spirits too. While Lisa had more than exceeded his expectations and had looked after Steve and him too with compassion and unfaltering dedication he felt that Rita was more qualified and used to dealing with all the things Steve now needed help with but more than that he was looking forward to her company again. He smiled a weary smile and nodded gratefully as Lisa gathered up all the things that needed removing and left Room five once more.

Steve had barely moved and Mike once again wondered if in fact the young man was actually back asleep. He leaned back in his chair and was just about to pick up the fishing magazine again when Steve's somewhat raspy voice drew his attention.

"Mike? ... It wasn't your fault ... It was mine ... I'm sorry I couldn't keep it down ... I really tried Mike ..."

"Hey, hey now. I know you did and I shouldn't have pushed you so hard. And you were right too ... It DID taste awful!" Mike dolefully admitted

Mike watched as Steve opened his eyes and stared at Mike incredulously.

"You said it didn't taste that bad!"

Mike blushed slightly and stammered apologetically.

"I know. I know I did. I ... Well I just said that to get you to eat something ... Sorry ... You're not sore at me are you?"

Steve relaxed a little more and he smiled.

"No ... No I'm not sore at you. How could I be? You've been stuck here with me in this infernal place since yesterday morning. You must be as sick of it as I am."

Steve looked downhearted again and Mike nudged him gently.

"Are you still feeling nauseous?"

"No ... No, it's easing off again. My throat's a bit sore though. " Steve uncharacteristically admitted as he swallowed and winced from the discomfort.

Mike looked sympathetically at the young man in the bed.

"Well I'm not really surprised with the force in which you just threw up! I guess trying to stop it for so long wasn't such a good idea, huh?"

It was Steve's turn to blush as he recalled the embarrassing incident from minutes before and hated the fact that Mike had witnessed it yet AGAIN! Trying to look at the positives for once, Steve ventured humorously.

"At least I didn't get YOU this time."

Mike grinned.

"True ... And for that I am VERY grateful Buddy boy." Mike joked back as they both smiled.

As silence descended again momentarily, Mike suddenly remembered his earlier purchases and thought that now might be a good time to give them to Steve as a means of distracting him from his troubles.

"Oh! I almost forgot. I got you these earlier."

Mike reached down beside his chair and produced the three car magazines and placed them on Steve's lap. Steve smiled as he looked at all three and flustered gratefully.

"Thanks Mike. But one would have been enough though. You didn't have to get three."

"Well I ... I really wasn't sure which one you'd like and ... In all the times I've seen those car magazines on your desk or ... back in your apartment on your coffee table, you know I never once looked at the name. Isn't that funny? So I ... Well I just got all three ..."

Mike's flustered remembrances of their lives as working partners brought with them a certain sense of remorse and regret and Steve stammered in reply.

"They're fine Mike ... thanks. "

Another awkward silence developed and so this time Steve saw the fishing magazine on the bedside locker and used it as a means to push the conversation forward past the memories that were currently bringing them both down.

"I see you got one too to pass the time, huh?"

"Oh yeah. Well it was either that or a " learn to crochet" magazine."

Steve burst out laughing at that statement and Mike joined him, playfully nudging Steve as he spoke through the giggles.

"What? Don't you think I could learn to crochet? Huh?"

"I don't think it quite fits your image Mike ... No."

"I think you're right ..." Mike replied and the laughter started up again.

As the laughter slowly died down, Mike reached into his jacket packet and felt the two packets of sunflower seeds he had put there earlier. Deciding right now to only produce one, he took one out and with a degree of caution he slowly placed then on the bed beside Steve and stammered tentatively.

"I ah ... well I decided to ... get you some of those too ..."

Seeing Steve's smile fade a little as he saw what Mike had placed on the bed, Mike quickly continued.

"Look Steve, I know you said that you didn't feel like them but well ... maybe if you keep them around you then ... well maybe you might feel like them sometime, huh?"

Mike watched as Steve placed his fingers on the packet and looked strangely at them and wondered what was going through his mind. Hoping he hadn't caused any further upset to the young man by the purchase, he flustered accordingly as he placed his hand over Steve's.

"I'm sorry Steve ... Maybe I shouldn't have bought them for you. I can take them away if you prefer?"

Steve seemed to snap back from whatever thoughts he had been mulling over and shook his head.

"No, that's alright. Thanks for buying them for me but ... Can you just put them in the locker please? I ... I just don't feel like them yet Mike."

"Sure ... I understand ..." Mike answered as he took the seeds from under Steve's fingertips and stowed them out of sight in the bedside locker.

Steve could see the visible disappointment on Mike's face and regretted being so openly negative about the seeds Mike had bought him. He just wasn't ready to face them again just yet. Trying to make up for his blatant negativity, he spoke in a more upbeat tone.

"Mike why don't you go and get something to eat, that is if ... well ... if I haven't put you off eating for life."

Mike smiled and patted Steve's arm.

"No, no you haven't put me off eating but omelettes ... Well now there's another story. I never want to see another omelette for as long as I live."

Steve chuckled lightheartedly.

"I can't argue with you on that one. Me neither, especially if there are indistinguishable red bits in it."

"Oh Steve! Please ... Don't remind me. Ok, well ... Maybe I will go and grab a bite to eat. You sure you'll be ok while I'm gone? You're not going to try anymore escape attempts are you?"

Steve smiled back.

"NO. No, don't worry. I learned THAT lesson the hard way. I'll be fine. I'm just going to flick through these magazines you got me ..."

Steve stopped mid-sentence to stifle a sudden yawn then continued humorously.

"Looks like I might even grab another forty winks. You know by the time I get out of here the staff are going to be calling me Rip Van Winkle."

Mike stood up and smiled a mischievous grin.

"Oh I don't know about that. If you don't eat something and manage to keep it down soon, they're going to be calling you Chucky."

"HEY! ..."

Steve pretended to look insulted and playfully swatted at the older man as he dodged the blow and moved closer to the end of the bed. Mike then laughed and tickled Steve's feet teasingly.

"I'm only kidding you ... I won't be long. Take it easy while I'm gone and get some rest. Ok?"

Steve giggled and pulled his feet up away from the end of the bed instinctively.

"Ok ... Ok ... I will ... now go eat " Steve answered between giggles and watched humorously as Mike saluted playfully and then left the room.

He then relaxed back against the pillows and picked up the first magazine from the pile and opened it. Flicking through it casually he turned at a page that showcased the latest model Porsche 911. He smiled and settled down to reading about a car he knew he could never afford, but it didn't stop him admiring it and enjoying reading about it all the same. For now it was a welcome distraction. After several minutes of avid reading, the door opened and Lisa returned into the room. Seeing her patient sitting up and reading, she smiled and came forward, placing the object in her hands on the windowsill out of his sight for now, before approaching his bed.

"Well you have a little more colour back in your face. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah ... yeah much better."

"Good, well I'm afraid my shift is almost over so I need to do my final set of checks before I hand you back over to Rita again. Is it ok if we do them now?"

"Sure ... That's fine."

Steve dropped the magazine back onto the bed as Lisa took his pulse, blood pressure and temperature and wrote down her findings onto his chart. Then she put more soothing gel on the spots on his chest where the earlier pads had caused a reaction, noting that at least they looked less angry and inflamed. Then she examined his wrist wound and chest wound and smiled as she saw both dressings were still clean. When she had finished she stood up and spoke.

"Well Steve, you're doing really well. If we can just get you to eat and keep some food down now, we'd have you out of here before you know it. Speaking of which ..." she began as she headed towards the windowsill and brought something back towards the bed hidden slightly behind her back. Steve's face fell at her words and he started to protest.

"Oh you're not going to make me eat something else are you? Only I really don't think I ..."

"Relax! No eating involved. Scouts honour. However ... I am going to ask you to try and DRINK something instead" she explained as she produced a lidded cup with a straw sticking out of it, from behind her back and placed it on the over the bed table in front of Steve.

Steve looked dubiously at the offending cup and then glanced back up at Lisa.

"What is it?"

"It's a shake."

"A shake?" Steve asked, remaining highly suspicious.

"Yes ... Just a shake. I wasn't sure what flavour you'd like so I chose chocolate. I hope that's ok?"

Steve continued to eye up the shake and the nurse with an increasing curiosity.

"There's got to be a catch here. Is this a real chocolate shake or is it something else disguised as a chocolate shake?"

"Ah! Now you're using your detective skills huh? " Lisa teased as Steve smiled.

"Well they do still come in handy sometimes, yeah ..."

"Ok, the truth is ... it's a nutrition shake ..."

"I KNEW IT! I knew it." Steve repeated feeling vindicated for feeling that all was not as it should be.

"Now wait before you make your judgement. It tastes ok honestly and it's easier to take AND easier on your upset stomach. If you manage to get some of these into you, you might even get off that annoying drip. Come on, try it will you? For me?"

Steve saw Lisa's pleading face and felt compelled to at least try it.

"Well, I guess I owe you that much. I haven't exactly made your shift an easy one have I?"

"It's been eventful that's for sure. So ... Does that mean you'll try it for me?"

"Ok ... But I'm just going to try it. No promises ..."

"Fair enough."

She handed him the cup and very cautiously Steve raised it to his lips. Before it even reached his lips though, he looked around and Lisa saw him eyeing up where the basin he had unfortunately needed the use of earlier was. Reading his mind she spoke encouragingly.

"You won't be needing that Steve."

Blushing a little, as the nurse had anticipated his glance, he asked nervously.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Almost certain ..."

"Only almost?"

"Ok then, one hundred percent certain, how's that for confidence?"

Steve smiled.

"That's pretty confident. Ok ... Then I'll drink to your confidence."

Making a face before it even touched his lips, he sucked at the straw and Lisa watched him anxiously. However he seemed to be finding the taste acceptable as she watched him stop and then take a little more. He took it from his mouth and looked surprised at the young nurse.

"Actually ... that's not bad."

"See! I told you, didn't I?"

"Yeah. Yeah you did. Do I ... have to drink it all right now though?"

"No, you have an hour to try and get it all into you slowly. I'll leave it it with you. Just keep sipping at it slowly and I'll see you tomorrow morning. Hopefully you'll have a better night tonight. Take care."

"Thanks Lisa for ... everything. "

"You're welcome. Take care."

Steve watched her leave and sipped once more at the lidded beverage, very surprised that something that was actually medicinal, tasted so good. He picked up the magazine and found the page and spot he had been reading and settled back to read some more. After a few more minutes, Steve felt his eyes start to close of their own accord and as he started to fall asleep the magazine fell from his loosened grip and slipped off his lap and off the bed, hitting the floor. The low thump as it hit the floor never even registered with the young man in the bed as the tiredness washed over him and pulled him back into a healing slumber.

 **Ground Floor : Franklin Hospital : A Half Hour Earlier :**

Mike had headed downstairs towards the Hospital Cafeteria. As he walked wearily, in a world of his own, down the corridor, a sudden call of his name made him spin around and to his delight he saw Rita heading towards him.

"Rita! Well you're a little early aren't you? You're not on shift for another hour."

"Well I'm afraid that's what happens when your patients become your only family. You tend to feel the need to get back to them a little early sometimes. How has Steve been?"

Rita frowned as she saw Mike's earlier smile fade and saw a definite weariness return.

"Not great. I mean his temperature seems to have settled but ... well that breaking point you spoke of ... Well I think he reached it today ..."

"Oh dear. I'm sorry to hear that. Was it ... very bad? "

Mike opened his mouth to answer and suddenly didn't know where to begin the sorry tale. Then getting an idea he flustered a question instead.

"Seeing as you're early Rita and if it's not too assuming of me I wonder if ... you'd care to join me for a coffee in the Cafeteria and I'll tell you all about it. I was just heading there for a sandwich."

Mike swallowed hard as he waited for the nurse's response.

"Well I do have to check in with CCU in about a half an hour ..."

Feeling her flustered response was a polite excuse, Mike stammered nervously.

"Oh that's OK ... I understand ... Well you hardly know me and ... I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that ..."

Rita smiled as she saw the older man fussing over his words.

"Well actually if you had let me finish I WAS going to say that I'd LOVE to ..."

"You were? ... I mean you WOULD?"

Rita chuckled again at Mike's surprise.

"Yes ... I really would. "

Mike's face lit up and he beamed at the woman in front of him as he held out his hand for Rita to go first.

"Well that's swell ... Please ... after you. "

Rita nodded courteously at the Lieutenant's impeccable manners and headed towards the Cafeteria with Mike following right behind.

Just as they disappeared through the Double doors of the Cafeteria, the main Hospital doors opened and Jeannie came through them.

Jeannie had spent so much time here at Franklin during Steve's initial hospitalisation that she already knew the way to CCU and so made her way down the corridor towards the elevators. Before she had set out from home she had rang Mary Lou as promised to let her know that she had arrived safe and sound and had been delayed by the call as Mary Lou had passed on instructions from Professor Richards about different aspects of the course she was required to study for her exams. Finally her journey to the Hospital had been hindered by the frustrating long wait she had endured for a taxi to come to the house and pick her up and the slow, late afternoon traffic. Finally here now, the butterflies in her stomach seemed to have become more agitated as she pressed the button for the upper floor and headed up in the direction of CCU. She had felt brave on the way but now that a meeting with her father was possibly just moments away, she began to worry that his reaction on seeing her might not be as positive as she hoped it would be. Then there was Steve. She worried about what condition she would find him in. She recalled how sickly he had been on his first week home and shivered in the empty elevator. She HAD faithfully promised she wouldn't try to come home because of his call and although she had crossed her fingers during the promise, she wondered if he would be cross at her for breaking the promise he had specifically requested of her. While she still felt that this was where she needed to be for all concerned, she only hoped that she could convince the two other men of that fact. Before she could dwell on the subject any more the elevator pinged and arrived at its destination and the steel doors opened.

Stepping out, she saw the familiar corridor leading to CCU and took a steadying breath. With a renewed confidence that belied the nerves that were churning up her stomach she settled her leather handbag over her shoulder and strode down towards the Unit and arrived at the nurse's desk at the front. Requesting to see Steve Keller the nurse on duty at the desk dashed her hopes immediately.

"I'm sorry but visitors are very restricted up here in CCU. Unless you are a relative I'm afraid I can't let you in to see him."

"I understand that they're the rules but Steve ... doesn't have any family to speak of here in San Francisco and me and my father Mike Stone are the nearest thing he has to family. Mike's with him now ... I think ... Please can you even let me speak to HIM please?"

Luckily for Jeannie, Lisa had just arrived back beside the desk with Steve's fully completed chart and heard the last few sentences from the young woman who was pleading for admittance. Stepping forward she intervened.

"That's alright Loretta. I'll take this. I'm sorry Miss. Did you just say that you were Mike Stone's daughter?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Then you ... must be Jeannie?"

Jeannie smiled at the newly arrived nurse.

"Yes ... Did Mike tell you about me?"

"He sure did. But I don't think ... he was expecting to see you ..."

Jeannie looked slightly embarrassed.

"No, I'm afraid he isn't. I tried to call him but I couldn't reach him so I guess it's going to be something of a surprise when he sees me. I just hope he thinks it's a good surprise." she added nervously.

Lisa smiled.

"Oh, I think he'll be pleased to see you alright. He ... misses you when you're in college, you know?"

Jeannie's heart warmed at Lisa's words and she found herself stammering.

"He does? ... Did he tell you that?"

Lisa nodded.

"Come on in. I'll bring you to see Steve but I'm afraid you just missed your father. He headed down to the Cafeteria to grab something to eat just a while ago. He did say though that he wouldn't be long."

As Jeannie followed the nurse towards the all too familiar door leading to Room Five, she stopped the nurse briefly

"How is Steve? Is he ... alright?"

"Don't worry. He's doing fine. His infection is under control and his temperature has settled but he's still having some scar issues and his stomach is still a little upset. He hasn't been able to keep any food down but we've started him on nutrition shakes and so far he's tolerating them but he's only just got his first one so we have to wait and see how he gets on with them."

Jeannie swallowed hard as she heard the nurse's detailed account of Steve's current condition. She was glad to hear that the infection was under control but the mention of his upset stomach brought back many unpleasant and heart rending memories. She remembered all the other times Steve had been very sick after coming out of Hospital and had hoped that those troubles were behind him. To hear he was now back to square one both saddened and worried her. The mention of the nutrition shakes also brought back more tortuous memories of her own Mother's illness. She remembered as a young child, Mike making them up for her Mother and how she had asked him on many occasions why her Mother wasn't eating with them like she used to. Lisa saw the young woman lost in her thoughts and placed a gentle hand on her arm, drawing her attention.

"Jeannie? Are you alright?"

Jeannie startled and then pulled herself together again bravely.

"Yes, yes thank you. I'm fine. "

Lisa smiled and then opened the door carefully to Steve's room and lead the way inside. She smiled wider as she saw the young man asleep and his earlier magazine on the floor beside his bed. Going over beside his bed, Lisa picked up the magazine off the floor and gathered up the others that were haphazardly falling off the young man's lap and put them on the bedside tray. She then picked up the shake and shook it gently. She could tell by the sound that it was half gone and smiled at the fact that he had managed to drink so much without incident. Picking up Steve's wrist gently and taking his pulse, more to check his level of consciousness than anything else, she noted he didn't even budge or respond to the touch.

"He seems to be fast asleep I'm afraid. The sickness is taking a lot out of him. "

"That's ok. Would it be ok if I just sit with him until he wakes up?"

"Sure that's fine. I'm heading off duty soon but Rita will be in to check on him. It was really nice meeting you. I'm sure Mike will be thrilled to see you."

Jeannie smiled in response and thanked the nurse for her help in getting her in to see Steve and then watched as the nurse left the room. She hoped that Lisa was right and that she could talk Mike around to allowing her to stay with them for a while. Then she quietly lifted the chair forward and sat down in it. Steve looked peaceful but very pale. She saw the various wires and drips attached to him and looking around the familiar looking room, she remembered with much anxiety the last time she had sat in this chair and kept him company. Listening to the heart monitor beeping gently and Steve's low breathing she settled back in the chair to wait for either Steve to wake up or Mike to return, whichever happened first. Whatever happened now, she had made her decision and she stood by it! Only time would tell now what their reactions would be.


	22. Chapter 22

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 22

Mike rushed forward as they approached a free table in the Hospital Cafeteria and pulled the chair out to allow Rita to sit down. Rita smiled warmly at the gesture and sat down, pulling the chair in as she did.

"You really are a true gentleman Mike. However I do fear that you are a dying breed. Most of the young men today would rather barge past you rather than open a door for you."

Mike blushed slightly at the compliment and then stammered nervously.

"Oh well, I'd like to think there's still some of us left and Steve ... well Steve is very polite and gentlemanly too so I like to think there's still some hope for the younger generation as well."

"Yes, yes he is. I do wonder though if it's a coincidence that he has learned so much from you ..." Rita complimented but Mike flustered and replied in an embarrassed tone.

"Oh no ... I ... well he was like that before he ever met me so I can't take the credit for that. He was raised by his Grandfather. I think he deserves the credit for Steve's manners .. not me" he spoke humbly and then clapped his hands together. " So ... what can I get for you? Just a coffee or would you care for something with it, my treat!"

Rita smiled warmly.

"A coffee will be fine thank you Mike but please ... make sure you get something to eat for yourself. You probably haven't had anything all day."

Mike nodded and headed off towards the Cafeteria counter. He walked along by the hot counter and stopped as he saw the same dreary, unappetizing looking omelette in the heated tray on the other side of the glass, red bits and all. He found himself staring at it, lost in the tortuous thoughts of having to try and get some of the awful stuff into Steve all too recently and then remembering it in its returned form made his previous hunger wane ever so slightly. Mistaking his sudden interest, the Cafeteria lady called out to him helpfully.

"Would you like some of that Sir?"

Drawing him back to the present, Mike wrinkled his nose at the very thought and shook his head politely.

"Oh no, thank you. I had quite enough of that earlier ... BELIEVE me. No , could I get just a sandwich please?"

"Certainly Sir. What kind? "

"Reubens please and two coffees." Mike requested as he moved along the line with his tray.

Waiting for his turn to be served, he glanced down at Rita where she sat and noticed her watching him. He smiled and was heartened by her return smile. It was strange. He had only met this woman barely twenty four hours ago and yet he liked her. He liked her a lot. There was something special and very endearing about her. He collected the coffees and his sandwich on his tray and made his way back to her. Arriving beside her he handed her the mug of coffee and placed his mug and sandwich down too. Then removing the last few things from the tray he placed some napkins and sugar sachets down between them and flustered again before sitting down.

"I ... I wasn't sure if you took sugar in your coffee or not so I brought those."

"Oh thank you but I don't, just a little bit of milk that's all." she replied kindly, reaching for the small milk jug in the middle of the table.

Rita's words brought back a bitter sweet memory and he smiled as he spoke almost subconsciously.

"You're sweet enough without it ..."

Rita glanced up at Mike at the unexpected blunt compliment and as she smiled and met his eyes she watched as he blushed and stammered endearingly.

"Oh, I'm sorry I ... well you just reminded me of something that's all. When I had my first date with my late wife Helen, and she discovered that I didn't take sugar in my coffee it's what she said to me ... "You're sweet enough without it."

Rita smiled again as Mike then continued flustering.

"Well ... that is ... not that YOU'RE not sweet enough too because you ARE ... but it just reminded me of that moment and ... and well I ..."

Rita chuckled at his endearing rambling and placed a hand on his arm softly.

"Mike ... I know what you were trying to say ... It's ok ..."

Mike chuckled nervously and then stirred his coffee in frustration as he spoke, clearly a little annoyed with myself.

"Well I'm glad somebody does. Here I am ... babbling like an idiot. I'm sorry. Guess I'm just a little off today ..."

Rita squeezed his arm gently and leaned closer, keeping her voice low to avoid the busy and packed Cafeteria from overhearing their private conversation. She knew from personal experience that in this Hospital, the walls had ears and the gossip at times could be rife.

"Mike, you're not babbling and even though I've only known you for a short space of time I can already tell that you are no idiot. You're just tired and stressed over Steve that's all and ... maybe not as hungry as you should be?" she questioned with a smile as she saw Mike examining the limp, not recently made sandwich with distaste and returning it to its plate with equal disdain.

Mike looked up and caught her eye and smiled gratefully but his smile Rita could tell was for her benefit only and behind it lay worry and anxiety and a great deal of sadness.

"No ... I don't seem to have that much appetite this evening. And especially not for THAT. I mean I thought our Cafeteria back at Bryant Street was bad but this place takes the biscuit." Mike added whimsically, starting to pity anyone who worked here or was unfortunate enough to be a patient here and had to eat the stuff.

Rita chuckled and spoke again in a soft tone.

"Next time choose the soup. It's not as bad as the rest of the food and the homemade bread isn't bad either."

"Ok ... Thanks for the tip."

As Mike's striking blue eyes saddened once more and he looked once more down at the pitiful looking sandwich, Rita took the opportunity and asked the question she knew he was avoiding answering.

"So? Tell me about Steve. What happened Mike?"

Mike met her gaze again and shrugged his shoulders miserably.

"He tried to get out of bed ..."

Rita gasped and looked equally worried, her nurse's intuition now fully awoken.

"Oh no Mike ... Did he fall? Did he hurt himself? He must have been more upset than even I thought he was to try that!"

Realizing that maybe he should have elaborated better first before scaring the kindly nurse he quickly rushed to reassure her.

"NO! No, at least not badly. He did fall as soon as he tried to stand but luckily I managed to catch him before he hit the ground but he did hit his wrist on the way down and opened the wound a little ... He had sent me out to get him some fresh water. Would you believe I fell for it? I mean I never thought for one minute he'd ..."

Mike stopped mid-sentence as he seemed to further blame himself for leaving Steve so stupidly but again Rita intervened.

"Ah! The old could you get me some cold water trick, huh?"

Mike was surprised at her response.

"What? Is that a regular trick?"

"Yes ... I've seen it used more times than I care to remember ... What lead up to it, Mike?"

"Well ... you were right. He woke up in very bad form. He was in pain but he didn't want the painkillers and then when he saw you had left and Lisa was caring for him he got a little well ... uncooperative. He threw the syringe across the room and demanded to see Dr. Lowell. I chastised him for his behavior and then he seemed to be sorry and then he ... asked me to get him some water."

Rita could hear how difficult the whole situation had been for the older man to witness and felt sorry she hadn't been there to help. Unreasonableness usually came just before a breakdown. If she had been on shift she would have recognized that. She made a mental note to herself to talk to Lisa some more about the different stages to watch out for in the patients of CCU and to tell her about that one before turning her full attention back towards Mike who had fallen silent, his coffee now practically stirred away.

"Mike? What happened after you caught him?"

Mike released the spoon and stared hypnotically into the rotating swirls of coffee that his endless stirring had caused, as he answered Rita.

"We both ended up on the floor. He was a dead weight and I ... I couldn't get him back up onto the bed so I ... I settled him down on the floor with me instead. My knee locked and so we landed more heavily than I had intended us to and the sudden movement caused him to throw up. All down his front although ... at the time he seemed more upset about getting my jacket. As if ... as if I even cared about the lousy jacket at that minute! " Mike added in frustration, his voice breaking as he relived that upsetting moment and remembered the horrific way Steve had been shaking.

Mike felt Rita squeeze his arm in a supporting gesture and sat up a little taller before clearing his throat and taking a long mouthful of the by now cooling coffee and then replacing the mug on the table with another wrinkle of his nose and an added look of disgust.

"Ugh! Even the coffee leaves a lot to be desired in here. You could practically strip paint with that!"

Rita chuckled at Mike's comment but felt that the older man was using the true fact about the coffee as a successful delay tactic to avoid relaying the rest of the story. Knowing the episode had been traumatic for him, she cajoled him a little further.

"What happened then Mike?"

Mike looked sideways at Rita and wondered if she had witnessed many breakdowns like the one Steve had earlier in her time in the CCU. He looked back down and fingered the spoon subconsciously as he forced the rest of the story from his lips.

"He was hurting Rita ... and not just physically. I could feel him shaking in my arms like ... as if he had all this hurt and upset just building inside him about to implode ... I asked him why he had tried to leave. Do you know what he told me?"

"I could hazard a guess. He didn't want to be in the Hospital anymore. He wanted to go home. Nobody understood what he was going through. Am I close?"

Mike's jaw dropped as Rita guessed correctly and he knew in that moment that she truly did understand what Steve was going through. More than he had. He nodded dolefully as he continued.

"That's ... exactly what he said. How did you know? "

"I've heard it many times from patients Mike. They feel as if they're going through it all alone even if they have family members swarming around them. They need to talk to people who've actually been through what they have. That's why the out patient heart clinic support group is so important. But so far Steve is rejecting the idea. I think I can help him come around to the idea but I may need your help too."

"Sure I'll help. But being honest with you, I dont fancy your chances of convincing him of that Rita. That group sounds too much like counseling to Steve. He barely talks to me and Jeannie about what's bothering him and even the Psychologist from the Department never really managed to get him to open up to him very much. Steve's a tough cookie. He seems to think he has to handle everything by himself and if he can't he feels like a failure. I've tried and failed over the last four years to try and get him to see things differently. He had a rough childhood and he's just programmed that way as a result. He opens up to me but ... I can still tell it kills him when he does."

Rita's hand left Mike's arm briefly and touched the side of her nose in a secretive gesture.

"You just leave that to me Mike. I'LL convince him but I just need you to back me up when I do. "

Mike marveled at her confidence but without knowing how stubborn Steve could be, he didn't fancy her chances all the same. None the less, this woman had strangely captivated him and if she was asking for his help he would give it unconditionally.

"Whatever you need ... You only have to ask ..."

Rita returned her hand to Mike's arm and smiled gratefully.

"Thank you. I knew I could count on you. Mike, you need to know that there are three ways people cope with such major life changing surgery. Most struggle like the rest but they accept all the help they're given. They talk out their fears and pain and those are the ones who cope the best. Then there are the ones who find it hard to accept. They feel angry that it happened to them. They tend to act out aggressively as a result and because of that they do tend to lash out at the staff and sadly at their own family members because they just can't cope with the changes and the pain they're going through. Those patients need a lot more help and understanding to get better"

"Like Mr. Alexander? " Mike asked, very interested in Rita's analogy.

"Yes ... I see you've heard about poor Mr. Alexander."

"Yeah, he was giving Lisa and the other nurse a hard time earlier while we were trying to get Steve to eat something."

"Ah, I see. Yes ... Mr. Alexander is one such example. Did ... did you get Steve to eat something in the end?"

Mike's face visibly saddened.

"He got some food down but then it all came back up again. Lisa was going to see if he could stomach a nutrition shake while I was gone. I just hope he managed it alright."

"Lisa was right. I think it's best to start at the basics and work back up from there with Steve. He should manage the shakes a little better although ... Mike? It's my feeling that Steve's nausea while it hasn't been helped by the infection and the strong painkillers, is partially psychological which leads me nicely into the third and final group who struggle to cope after their heart surgery. Steve's group ... Those are the ones who try to pretend they're ok. That they're able to cope with everything. But they're not. They don't want to be an added burden on their family and those around them so instead they bottle up all the upset and the worry and they're the hardest group to help because you have to get him to accept the help first. Keeping all that angst inside isnt helping his nausea, Mike or his recovery."

"Well ... I can't argue with you about what group Steve belongs to but ... Do you really think he's LITERALLY worrying himself sick? "

"The phrase came from somewhere Mike. Yes, I think that's how the pent up frustration and upset is manifesting itself with Steve. We need to get him to open up and accept help and I think we'll see a dramatic improvement. But it's not going to be an easy task, not for him or us ... Mike? You said earlier he reached a breaking point. Did ... Did Steve release any of the hurt then?"

Mike nodded.

"Yes ... He got rid of some of it but not all of it ... He's still hurting ... I can tell ... "

"We'll get him through this Mike. I promise you. "

If Rita was promising him then Mike felt better about it. It felt so strange to completely trust someone he barely knew. Someone he had only met so recently but he did. He smiled and placed his hand over hers. A low snicker broke out at the table behind and Mike turned his head casually to see three young student nurse's sitting at the table behind them watching their display of affection and he quickly pulled his hand back and blushed, flustering as he did.

"I'm sorry. We don't want to start tongues wagging do we? "

Rita smiled but didn't remove her hand from his arm.

"Oh don't mind them. They're just looking for gossip. Anyone here in the Hospital is fair game to their wagging tongues. They don't bother me. "

Mike smiled wider at the stalwart and confident stance of the woman sitting with him. He admired her courage and her attitude and it endeared her to him even more.

"Rita, you really are something you know that? You know you remind me a lot of my Helen. She hated gossipers too with a vengeance but ... Oh I'm sorry there I go again ... I can't seem to be able to have a conversation without ... "

"Without mentioning her?"

"Yes ... I'm sorry. Anyone would think I haven't had a coffee with a woman since she died. Well I mean not that I have with many but ... well I have a couple of times but ... Oh dear ... I think I'm just going to shut up now ..." He said, now a deep shade of crimson as Rita couldn't help chuckling at Mike's flustered ramblings.

"Mike, Mike ... what AM I going to do with you? ... " she replied lightheartedly as she cupped his cheek with her hand as another annoying bout of snickering broke out behind them.

Mike went to turn and send his infamous glare in the young nurse's direction but Rita's other hand stopped him.

"Ignore them Mike. Listen ... I of all people understand what you mean. It feels strange doesn't it?"

Mike forgot about the insignificant people behind him as he felt her tender touch against his cheek and saw the deep compassion and understanding in her eyes.

"I lost someone I loved too Mike. And it's hard to live without them ... isn't it?"

Mike nodded and knew in that moment she knew exactly what he was feeling and what his daily torment was like. It was the link. The reason he felt so attuned to this very special lady.

"You do understand, don't you? ... Do you miss him sometimes so much that you get an ache in your gut that won't go away? Or do you find yourself going to tell him something sometimes and then remember that you can't? Do you stare at his picture and wish it had all been just a bad dream and that he'd walk into the room at any minute?"

Mike saw a distinct moisture fill Rita's green eyes and she nodded slowly.

"Yes. I've felt and done all those things too. It's hard Mike. But they wouldn't want us feeling miserable and it's understandable if we mention them because they were a big and important part of our lives. I don't mind you talking about Helen, Mike. As long as you'll forgive me if I mention Bob on occasion too."

Mike felt a lump rise in his throat and swallowed it back down. He had been out a few times over the nine years since his wife had died on dates with women. Some had been set up for him by well meaning friends and some he had instigated himself but most of the women soon tired of his talk of Helen. He couldn't help talking about her especially at those times. On those dates he had felt guilty, almost as if he was betraying her by seeing them but here was a woman who understood, who felt the same and it was such a refreshing change. Once more covering her hand tenderly and suddenly not caring if the nurses behind them saw it or not he spoke emotionally.

"You really don't mind me mentioning her?"

"Of course not. She sounds like she was a remarkable woman and I can tell you loved her very much."

"She was ... I miss her a lot. Even after all this time. We used to go to the theater all the time. That was our thing so to speak. I stopped going after she died. I stopped doing a lot of things after she died. I stopped socializing with our friends because they were still in couples and I couldn't face it. I used to go places with Jeannie but then she went to college and other than the bowling club I stayed in or ... just stayed in work. Then Steve came along. I didn't even want him for a partner at first you know. I gave Rudy our Captain a hard time of it when he even suggested it but ... he turned out to be the best ... well ... the third best thing that ever happened to me after Helen and Jeannie. He made life bearable again. I used to feel guilty because he would go bowling with me or to the theater instead of going out with the other officers his own age but he never seemed to mind. I owe him a lot. He became like the ... well the son I never had ... And then I almost lost him Rita ... I almost lost him just like ... just like Helen ... and I don't know how I would have coped with that ... It scared me Rita. I don't mind telling you it scared the living hell out of me. That's why I ... stayed away ... But I was wrong, so wrong Rita and I let him down badly. "

Mike stopped talking as the lump returned and he felt tears sting his eyes. Not wanting to be seen so vulnerable in front of this strong and special lady he cleared his throat again and veered his eyes away so that she couldn't see his heartache but he felt her hand pulling his face back around and she smiled endearingly at him.

"He loves you Mike ... just like a father. It's obvious to anyone who sees you two together. He doesn't hold that against you but he needs you now Mike more than ever. He's scared too Mike ... Even though he'd never admit it. This has been a big upheaval for him too. His whole life is changing and he's hurt and uncertain about everything. Just take a moment to think about what this has been like for him Mike. To be so seriously wounded and to fear death. Then to survive and to discover that survival means a long and tough road to recovery. The strong drugs, the long and painful scar, the loss of appetite, the inability to sleep in any kind of comfort and the debilitating fatigue. Did you know that most heart surgery patients suffer palpitations occasionally as they recover and every time they do they fear that something is wrong with their heart? It's a scary time for him Mike but you're doing exactly what he needs you to do right now. You're simply being there for him and ... he's lucky to have you Mike."

Mike rubbed casually at his eyes, dislodging Rita's hand from his cheek unintentionally in the process and picking up the coffee cup, he swirled the cold coffee around some more as he thought about what Rita had just said. He knew it hadn't been easy for Steve but he hadn't really considered the whole picture as Rita had just drawn it for him. Feeling able to speak again after a minute or two had passed, he glanced gratefully at Rita.

"Thank you. You're right. I guess I hadn't fully thought about all the obstacles he's had to overcome ... I got so caught up in catching the woman who shot him and then ... well then I had to ... start training in my new partner. "

Rita sympathized.

"That must have been tough especially when you'd got so used to always having Steve around."

Sensing that everything was not as it should be, Rita probed a little further.

"How are you getting along with your new partner, Mike?"

"Oh Dan's a good man. A little green maybe but not green in the same way poor Steve's been lately. " he said trying to add humor to the otherwise uncomfortable topic. "He's very smart and we work well as partners ... but ... "

Mike stopped talking and sighed heavily. Realizing that all was not perhaps as great as he was letting on, Rita urged him to let go of what was bothering him.

"But what Mike? He's not Steve?"

"You could say that. They're similar in some ways, their youth, their energy, their college education but ... I don't know ... the chemistry's just not there Rita. He's a little too confident sometimes. Where as Steve was willing to learn, Dan wants to do things his own way and learn by his mistakes. Oh, don't get me wrong we'll be ok but ... I don't think he'll be going bowling with me anytime soon. He has his own social life and ... well that's ok and ... how it should be, right?"

Rita felt sorry for Mike. His new partner sounded very competent but she could sense the sorrow he felt at not having a partner who fully completed his life as Steve had. She sensed that he feared with Steve embarking on a new career that their friendship would suffer and yet she could see even as an onlooker that Steve would never let that happen and she felt the need to reassure him.

"Mike? Just because Steve isn't your partner anymore doesn't mean he won't still want you to be a big part of his life. If anything he's going to need you even more while he gets used to his new job and his new surroundings. It's a scary time for him. Now is the time when he needs familiar faces around to help him to cope with all the changes. "

Mike nodded and smiled at Rita's perception.

"Yes ... I know ... it's just a big change for all of us, that's all. But you're right. Say? How did you get to be so wise Rita?"

Rita smiled and nudged Mike's shoulder.

"Oh that's easy. The same way you did Mike. I went to the same hard school of knocks like you did ... called LIFE!"

Mike laughed.

"Oh yes! I graduated from that same school, I can tell you! ... You know ... I hope Bob knew how lucky he was to have you too Rita."

Rita smiled a wide smile and linked Mike's arm enthusiastically.

"Oh ... I think he did. Mind you I was lucky to have him too and even if we were parted a little too soon, well ... those years were special and will always stay in my heart just like your time with Helen will too. You know me and Bob used to go to the theater too but ... well it was more my love than his. But he'd go along anyway and he never complained so I used to go along with him on his fishing trips in return even though camping on a river bank was never my favorite place to be."

"Have you been to the theater since ... well since he passed?" Mike asked tentatively.

"No ... No, I haven't. It's really not the same going on your own, is it? But like you,my work is rewarding and it keeps me busy."

Mike suddenly had an idea. He thought long and hard about whether he should broach the subject even to the point of opening his mouth to begin, but feeling it was a little too forward, he closed his mouth again and returned to swirling his cold coffee instead. Noting the action, Rita nudged Mike and questioned him.

"What? What were you about to say?"

Blushing now and flustering again he shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh it wasn't important and probably not very timely."

"Go on. Tell me. I won't mind whatever it was. Honestly."

Rita was now staring at him, intrigued by his tight lipped response. He plucked up a little courage and spoke albeit a tad nervously.

"Well I was just going to ask if maybe ... Well that is after Steve is back on his feet and ok again ... if maybe ... Oh no really forget it. I don't know what's got into me. I'm all tongue tied and twisted and ..."

Rita was beginning to really enjoy this wonderful man's company. His manners, his endearing flustering, his visible concern and care for the people he loved all made him a very unique and special person in Rita's eyes and if he was about to ask what she felt he was, she was not going to let it pass unspoken.

"No Mike. Now you have to ask me or else I'll die wondering what you were going to ask me! Come on. Just ask me ... Please ..."

Rita leaned closer and found her own heart beating a strange pattern as she stared into the two clearest blue eyes she had ever seen. Mike met her gaze and was thinking along the same lines. He felt almost compelled to ask his question, knowing he would regret not asking it otherwise.

"Ok. Well if you put it that way. I certainly wouldn't want to be the cause of that, now would I? ... I was just going to ask if when Steve is alright again, if you'd do me the pleasure of coming to the theater with me some night? That is if you'd like to? And if you'd rather not then that's ok too of course ... But I just thought that ... well ..."

Rita placed a finger against his lips to silence his uncertain rambling and she leaned even closer.

"It would be my pleasure Mike. I'd love to go to the theater with you ... when Steve is better of course. "

"You really would?" Mike found himself half mumbling as a feeling he hadn't felt for a long time came back to him in a surreal déjà vu moment.

"Yes Mike. I truly would. " Rita found herself almost whispering back in response.

There was a strange chemistry between them and Mike knew in that moment that Rita could feel it too. Her lips were so close to his now and it took every ounce of willpower he had not to kiss her there and then. He could feel her trembling and then wondered if in fact he was actually trembling too. A burst of snickering from the table behind ruined the tender moment and as Rita saw Mike's face fall at the annoying sound she quickly rescued the situation as she stood up and with her arm still linking Mike's, she brought him up with her.

"Come on Mike. I best be checking in with Lisa about now and you need to get back to Steve. Besides, there seems to be an annoying air of immaturity in this canteen wouldn't you say ... that's almost as thick as your coffee."

Mike fought back the laughter her words invoked as he saw the three nurses from the table behind turn bright red and look embarrassed and well and truly reprimanded by Rita's well placed remark. Standing in awe of her, Mike lifted his arm and smiled ever wider.

"Good idea. Shall we?" He replied, holding out his right arm for her to link.

Taking his arm graciously, they walked from the Cafeteria and upon exiting through the double doors, both laughed heartily as they headed for the elevators to return to CCU.

 **Back in Room Five : CCU : 6:40pm**

Steve was dreaming again, only this time his dreams were pleasant ones. He was behind the wheel of a new model Porsche 911. It was shiny and red and he was driving it on the open road. The new smell of the leather seats filled his nostrils as he put the car into top gear and sped along the winding road. The windows were open and the cool evening breeze was rushing through them off the Bay and felt so refreshing. He could see the Bay Bridge off to his right and admired it's beauty as he returned his eyes to the hazardous mountain road he was on. He felt free, freer than he had for some time. Nothing was holding him back. He drove ever faster, the loud hum of the engine filled him with a great sense of power and control. Finally something he could control. Something he could steer where he wanted it to go ...

Jeannie had sat watching Steve for over half an hour now and smiled as she noticed him smile occasionally in his sleep. She wondered was it the effects of whatever drug they had him on that was racing through his veins or if it was the dream he was having. She had witnessed many a drug induced sleep like this in those early days after his initial surgery and frowned as she remembered that with every high, pleasant, pain free moment that the morphine allowed him, always came the angst filled, screaming pain crashes after the drug wore off and left him in pieces. She hoped that they would wean him off the strong drugs soon so that he regain some normality back into his life.

Jeannie looked around the familiar room and swallowed hard. Everything in here brought both good and bad memories with it. The first time he had woken up and noticed that they were there. The first time he had managed to eat a little food and keep it down. The first time he had walked albeit very slowly and unsteadily out to the restroom by himself and how she had waited anxiously for his return. The moment the Doctor had given him the good news that he had improved enough to go home. They were the good times. But the bad ones well outnumbered them and although she tried to forget those ones, this room still brought them back to her memory in vivid detail.

The endless wound cleanings that in the early days, Steve had always insisted she would leave the room for. She would hear his muffled groans even from outside the door and when the nurse would finally exit the room and send her back in, he would always force a smile at her even though his breathing was labored and his eyes were always filled with unshed tears after his ordeal. She remembered the endless vomiting and dry reaching as food refused to stay in his stomach and the needle marks and bruises that covered his arms and hands from all the injections and the cannulas that eventually collapsed the veins they were in and had to be re-positioned. The worst part was that he never complained. He bore all the hurt and the torture bravely for her sake alone. And on the few occasions that she had found it all too upsetting and had cried herself, ironically it had always been him who had comforted her and tried to convince her that everything was going to be alright.

She pushed the tortuous memories aside and returned to stare at him now where he lay, half sitting upright in the bed, leaning back against the numerous pillows that were propping him up. He looked so pale and as if he had lost the tiny bit of weight he had finally managed to put back on during his first week home from the Hospital. She wanted to reach out and stroke his cheek, to comfort him and let him know she was there and yet he seemed so peaceful, so content that she decided against it. She glanced at the bedside locker and saw the fishing magazine discarded there, balancing on it's edge due to the filled small space of water jugs, bowls and various medical paraphernalia that left little room for anything else to be placed there. She smiled knowing that as Steve had no interest in fishing, that it must belong to her father but as she went to pick it up, it fell and thumped onto the floor. Jeannie held her breath as Steve jumped slightly in his sleep from the sound and remained still as he seemed to settle back to sleep but needing to push her chair back in order to reach the magazine she had inadvertently dropped, to her horror as she pushed it back it let out an unmerciful squeak as it screeched across the sterile, linoleum floor. She stopped but it was too late. Steve's eyes fluttered open and he rubbed at them as he spoke drowsily.

"Mike? ... You couldn't have eaten anything ... in that length of time. I ... I didn't expect you back so soon ..."

Jeannie knew this was the moment that she wasn't fully prepared for as she saw Steve's head turn towards her, wondering what his reaction would be. She stayed perfectly still and didn't speak as she saw him stare unnervingly in her direction.

Steve turned expecting to see Mike settling back into his chair but instead he saw Jeannie! He blinked his eyes a couple of times, wondering if he was still dreaming. _She wasn't really here was she?_ He closed his eyes and reopened them but she was still there, unmoving until a slight smile began and lit up her face as her mouth uttered nervously.

"Hi Babe ..."

Steve's head whipped up off the pillow at her words and he pulled his top up to hide the protruding scar to shield it from her eyes, covering it then with his afflicted wrist as he choked back the mixed emotions he felt on seeing her.

"Jeannie? ... What the ... ? How did you ...? Aw Jeannie ... you ... you promised me you wouldn't come ..."

Worried by his upsetting reaction to seeing her, Jeannie pulled her chair quickly closer and placed her hand on his cheek as she had yearned to do mere moments before. She spoke quickly to reassure him.

"Hey, hey listen to me. I know ... I know I promised and I'm sorry but ... I had to be here with you both. I HAD to come Steve. You sounded so ill and I ... just knew there and then where I needed to be and ... it wasn't in Arizona. Please try to understand Steve."

Jeannie's touch on his cheek brought new feelings to the fore for Steve. He had really missed her gentleness, her presence and he was so glad to see her that it almost tore his newly repaired heart back open with the joy seeing her again brought but he knew he had to push that selfishness aside. Her exams were more important. She had to think of her career, her life and not his. Clasping the hand that held his cheek as if it were his only lifeline, he stammered with great difficulty.

"Jeannie ... your exams are more important than this. We talked about that remember? Before you left ... You need to be there and give it your all. It's what you want to do with your life. It's important ... "

Jeannie hushed him with a finger to his lips. Hearing the painstaking angst in his voice was the last thing she had meant to cause by her arrival.

"Steve ... You don't have to worry about that. I have that all under control. I brought all my books with me and Professor Richards was very understanding. He sent me instructions of what I needed to study. I can study here just as well as there ... Better perhaps because at least here I ... I don't have to worry about you and Mike at the same time ..."

Steve's bottom lip visibly quivered and he felt a lump return to his throat. She had made the long, arduous bus journey just to be there for him and that fact was not lost on him. He didn't want to sound ungrateful but he knew Mike wouldn't be best pleased and that her arrival was directly the result of his panicked phone call yesterday so it was blatantly and without question his fault that she had returned home. If she failed her exams then his weakness would be responsible and he wasn't sure he could handle that fact along with everything else he was struggling to cope with at the minute.

He let go of her hand and turned to stare at the wall opposite his bed, trying to process in his tired brain how he was going to handle this whole new development. He ran his left hand through his hair nervously, trying to force his brain to think but it was failing him miserably. He wasn't sure what he should do or say next that was for the best.

Outside in the outer corridor the elevator doors opened and Mike and Rita exited still chuckling, arm in arm. On reaching CCU, they separated and Rita approached the brunette haired nurse at the desk.

"Evening Anne. Do you know where Lisa is please?"

"Oh hi Rita! Looks like you and me on the night shift again, huh? Lisa and Loretta are in with Mr. Alexander again. He's being difficult again I'm afraid but she has Steve's chart ready to hand over as far as I know ..."

"Oh dear. I better go help them. The poor man is in a lot of pain and isn't coping well with it." Placing a gentle hand on his arm, Rita spoke softly. "You go ahead back to Steve Mike and I'll pop over in a few minutes to check on him when we get Mr. Alexander more comfortable."

"Ok Rita. See you then ..." Mike said as he watched her hurry off to room one before turning to head back to check on Steve.

Back in Room five, feeling his withdrawal from her and both hearing and seeing his visible anxiety as his heart rate picked up a little on the monitor, Jeannie began to wonder if indeed she had made the right choice by coming. Not sure what was running through Steve's head, she spoke almost desperately, reaching out to grab and to still his hand that was still brushing through his hair incessantly.

"Oh Steve. I didn't mean to upset you by coming but ... Aren't you glad to see me? Even a little ..."

Steve heard the heartache in her voice and hated to hear it. He didn't want her to think that. He COULDN'T let her think it. Looking back at her, he forced the emotions that were racing through him back a little as he spoke sincerely, gripping her hand back warmly.

"Of course I'm glad to see you Jean. I can't even begin to explain how glad I am to see you ... I've ... I've really missed you. I told you that on the phone but ... but Mike's gonna go nuts Jeannie. Have ... have you seen him yet?"

Hearing Steve genuinely happy to see her made everything ok again as far as Jeannie was concerned and she suddenly felt more able to cope with whatever way Mike reacted to her arrival but she could tell by the audible worry that Steve was overly concerned about it and she couldn't let him worry in his weakened state.

"No, not yet ... he was gone for something to eat when I got here. "

Steve moved both their hands still clasped so that he could view his watch and seeing the time his heart rate quickened again audibly.

"Oh my God! He said he wouldn't be long Jean. He's going to back any minute. When he sees you here he's gonna hit the roof!"

Steve was getting more agitated by the second, his eyes never leaving the door to the room so Jeannie leaned in closer and stroked his cheek soothingly in another vain attempt to reassure him again.

" Steve please quit worrying will you? You just leave Mike to me ok? I can handle Mike. Everything's going to be fine, you'll see."

Just then the door opened and Mike's upbeat voice filled the room.

"Hey Buddy boy. I'm back. I hope you've been resting like you were supposed ... to ... JEANNIE!"

 **A/N: Apologies for the delay in updating. My seven year old boy sadly introduced another tummy bug into the house and it has slowly gone through the house like a tornado ... I can totally sympathize now with Steve's tummy troubles ... lol.. Anyway hope you the readers feel the wait was worthwhile. I have never written a love interest for Mike before, so this chapter proved challenging but I am happy with the end result. And I hope you all are too ... :-/**


	23. Chapter 23

**A Promise Kept**

 **A/N: I dedicate this much anticipated chapter to Nans as a belated Birthday gift.. :-) Hope you had a lovely day!**

Chapter 23

Mike couldn't quite believe his eyes. The last person he expected to see was his daughter Jeannie sitting by Steve's bedside. His first concern was that she was alright and that nothing had happened in Arizona to necessitate her unexpected arrival.

"Jeannie? What ... what are you DOING here? Are you alright? Is everything ok?"

Jeannie stood up and looked sideways down at Steve briefly. The colour had practically drained from his face and he was staring at Mike as if he expected sparks to fly at any minute. She worried about his demeanor as the heart monitor was beating alarmingly fast behind her. As she let go of his hand, he brought it up to cover his mouth and she heard the low anxious mumble leave his lips.

"Oh my God ... "

She touched his arm and spoke quietly.

"It's alright Steve. Just leave this to me ..."

Then turning back towards the stunned looking form of her father, she spoke defiantly.

"I'm fine Daddy. I just needed to be here with you and Steve."

The defiant response and the mediocre reason for her coming home changed Mike's perspective and his facial expression visibly changed much to Steve's dismay, whose gaze now darted anxiously between both Stones.

"Oh you did huh? Well what about those important exams you have in just over two and a half weeks time huh? Don't you NEED to be THERE for those?"

"I can handle the study for my exams just as well here Mike and right now THIS is where I need to be. And I don't want you going off on one because this is MY decision to make and NOT yours."

Steve feared the situation was slowly deteriorating as he heard the first tone of stroppiness enter Jeannie's voice. He reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her continuing in the same vein, but Jeannie was in full defense mode and shrugged his hand away.

"Jeannie, stop ..."

"Steve please. Stay out of this ..."

He returned the hand to his mouth and closed his eyes as the argument began to escalate rapidly.

"Oh, it's not huh? Well let me tell you THIS Missy! Those exams are important Jeannie and I'm not going to let you fail them by letting you embark on some misguided mission of mercy. I'M handling THIS. Now you can stay for tonight but first thing tomorrow morning you're getting back on that bus to Arizona. THAT's where you should be. Not here ... Is that clear?"

"NO, I'M NOT ... And YOU can't make me ... I'm staying right here in San Francisco. You mightn't need me but STEVE does."

Steve cringed as those words left her lips and he opened his eyes to see Mike glance at him. He couldn't get his voice to speak and merely shrugged his shoulders and widened his eyes in answer to Mike's unspoken question. By now Steve could see Mike's blue eyes burn with annoyance as he turned back to face Jeannie who was standing tall and unbending in front of her father, her blue eyes equally ready for battle.

"Oh, I can't huh? You are huh? ... Well we'll just see about THAT! ... Hey ... wait a minute. How did you even know he was back in Hospital?"

"Well I certainly didn't hear about it from YOU like I should have. Did I DADDY?" Jeannie spat out in anger and Steve once more cringed and mumbled "Oh my God" again before finally finding his shaky voice.

"Mike, I'm sorry ... That was my fault ..."

"YOUR fault?" Mike asked incredulously as he looked now towards Steve in astonishment.

"Yeah ... I ... I rang her ..."

"You RANG her? STEVE! She's got important exams coming up. What were you thinking of? WHEN did you ring her?"

Steve cringed again inwardly at Mike's words, knowing the older man was cross with him as he heard the visible disappointment in his tone and knew he had every right to be but before he had a chance to answer, Jeannie had spoken again in his defense.

"Don't start on him Mike. He shouldn't have had to ring me. You SHOULD have. I had a RIGHT to know ..."

"Oh you had a RIGHT huh? ..."

Steve felt compelled to intervene to stop this from escalating any further so he piped up his answer to Mike's earlier question nervously before the situation could get any worse..

"I know Mike ... I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have rang her but ... I only rang her yesterday because you were missing and I ... I didn't know where you were ... and ..."

"MISSING? Well no wonder he rang me. So much for you handling it! You were supposed to be watching out for him and then you went missing? Well there's a SURPRISE! It's not the first time you've gone missing when you were NEEDED."

Realizing too late that his use of the word "missing" was ill advised, Steve sucked in a deep breath and his jaw dropped open as he saw the hurt that last statement had caused in the older man. He grabbed out for Jeannie who once again shook off his hand.

"Jeannie ... Please ... Don't ..."

"I was NOT missing ... I just had to run an errand with Dan and ..."

Before Mike could fully explain what had happened, the mention of Mike's new partner Dan, sent Jeannie's hackles rising further and she interrupted mercilessly.

"Oh DAN huh? The new partner. I should have known. What's going on here Mike? Steve's not your partner anymore so your new one takes priority, is that it? "

Mike looked as if he'd just been smacked in the face on hearing Jeannie's insinuation. Steve swallowed hard and rubbed his hand anxiously across his face as he heard Mike's troubled sounding response.

"Now THAT'S not fair Jeannie and you know it! I had no choice but to help Dan but I got back here as quickly as I could. And if you don't believe me ask Steve there ..."

Steve opened his mouth to defend Mike and stick up for him but Jeannie was in full flow now and spoke again before he got a chance to utter a single word.

"Well he obviously didn't even know where you were ... Would it have KILLED you to at least have told him where you were going? Dan is obviously your new BUDDY BOY now seeing as your last one is too ill to be bothered with!"

Steve audibly gasped as he heard what Jeannie had said. _Is that really what she thought or was she just lashing out in anger?_ He couldn't believe she was after saying THAT of all things. He wanted to stop her but he didn't know how. His chest and wrist were starting to hurt again. He was due painkillers and the added discomfort was not helping his situation. His heart was beating way too fast and as a result his head was starting to spin and his stomach was starting to churn again. It was all his fault. Mike and Jeannie were fighting because of him.

"Now WAIT just a minute! That's low Jeannie. Now you KNOW that's not the case ..."

"Oh DO I? Then where have you been for the last four weeks he's needed you huh? Where were you when he was vomiting back up every piece of food we could get into him at his apartment, huh? Were you on the bathroom floor with us helping us then, well WERE you? Four whole days Mike of constant sickness! While I came home and dished up your dinner for you and watched you eat it like there was nothing wrong."

"JEANNIE! ..." Steve found himself shouting as she openly betrayed his confidence for the sake of their argument, just to score a cheap point.

He watched from his bed as the point hit home and Mike's hurt filled eyes turned to stare unnervingly at him again.

"Is ... Is that true Steve?"

Steve felt tears spring to his eyes and he didn't know how to answer. He merely nodded dolefully instead. His heart sank as he saw Mike's eyes sadden at that revelation and watched as he looked slowly away again and turned more subdued to question Jeannie.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Jeannie remembered in that instant that it was because Steve had told her not to and that she had now betrayed a second promise of his. She hadn't intended to or to say such mean things to her father but an age old hurt and her father's recent irrational and selfish behavior were causing the words to spring from her mouth impetuously. She turned to look briefly at Steve and then quickly looked away embarrassed as she saw him now visibly trembling. Not answering because of the new guilt she felt, her unspoken words answered it for her.

"He told you not to, didn't he?"

Jeannie's upward glance was answer enough and he turned once more to look dejectedly at Steve who was now shaking his head and getting more upset by the minute as the fall out from the argument continued to cause angst for all concerned. He tilted his head and stammered apologetically.

"I'm sorry Mike ... I ... I just didn't want you to worry ..."

Jeannie felt that she had caused more upset for Steve unintentionally and so her fiery spirit needed to remedy it. Unfortunately that didn't augur well for the following few minutes. She barked again in his defense much to the young man's added horror.

"It's not HIS fault Mike. You weren't even bothering with him. How did you expect him to tell you anything when he probably had started to think you didn't even care anymore."

"Jeannie stop it ... That's enough ..." Steve pleaded desperately as he then turned to speak to Mike, a tortuous level of heartache audible in his voice. "I never said or thought that Mike, honestly. Not once ... I ... I just didn't want to be any trouble to you that's all ..."

Unfortunately for Steve, Mike wasn't listening to him. He was staring at his daughter instead, visibly annoyed with the way she had spoken to him and with the horrid things she had accused him of. Also to Steve's misfortune, the hurt caused Mike to use the same tactics to get back at her in kind.

"Oh and I suppose you knew everything huh? Is that what you think? Nursing him all those days that I failed him, huh? Only you don't know the HALF of it! "

Steve shook where he lay as he heard Mike's spiteful words. He feared that he knew what was coming next and he pleaded with Mike not to continue.

"Mike ... DON'T ... please? ..."

"All those nights you tucked him into bed before you left, all cozy and comfortable. You didn't know he was getting back up and sleeping in his armchair because the pain was too bad ... Well DID you? "

Steve audibly groaned as another Stone blatantly broke his confidence for the second time. He watched as Jeannie rounded on him with upset visible in her eyes.

"STEVE? ... Is ... is that true?"

Again he struggled to explain his deceit. He merely stammered another apology as his fog filled mind failed him and left him not knowing what else to say or do.

"I'm ... sorry Jean ..."

Steve was hurting now badly but he wasn't even sure if it was from the chest wound anymore or from the trouble he had caused or the betrayal he felt. His energy was waning and he was starting to feel physically sick again. He didn't know how much more of this scene he could take. His heart was racing and the sound of it beating on the monitor was starting to aggravate him. He desperately wanted to pull the pads from his chest just to shut the infernal machine up but he resisted the urge. The noise level in the room was raking on him and the air felt like it was getting thin. He glanced over quickly to see if the window was still open and frowned when he saw that someone had closed it while he had slept. He turned back feeling utterly defeated and watched as Jeannie struggled with that recent revelation as Mike had with the earlier one. Her eyes were focused on Steve's bed briefly before alighting back on Mike.

Jeannie couldn't believe that Mike had got one up on her. After all she had done. All the nursing and minding in Mike's self enforced absence and yet maybe she hadn't known everything at all. _What else had Steve been keeping from her?_ Before she had time to figure that out, Mike had started up again.

"See? You don't know it all. Do you Jeannie? You think you do but you DON'T. But you're right about one thing! I let him down just like I let YOU down all those years ago. THAT'S what this is really about, ISN'T it? Not Steve. You're still sore that I pushed you away after your mother died but you don't know what I went through watching her slowly die before my eyes Jeannie. You don't know because I PROTECTED you from it. That's WHY."

"Well maybe I didn't WANT to be protected from it. Did you EVER stop to think about that DADDY?"

The argument was getting out of hand and Steve had to stop it. He called out to Mike, pleading with him.

"MIKE ... Please stop this ...You're gonna regret it ... "

"STAY out of this Steve. You've caused ENOUGH trouble for one day ..."

Mike's harsh rebuke felt like another bullet piercing his heart and just confirmed what he already believed was true. It WAS all his fault and Mike was blaming him. But he couldn't let the bitter recriminations continue. Despite having been told where he stood he made one final attempt to calm the situation.

"Mike ... You're RIGHT ok? It is my fault. And I'm really SORRY ... but I WAS thinking about her exams Mike. I made her promise me she wouldn't come home because of me."

"Oh she PROMISED you huh? Over the phone? Well that was your FIRST mistake Buddy boy. Never get Jeannie to promise you anything unless you can see both her hands at the same time. Isn't that right Jean? What did you do, CROSS your fingers like the last time?"

Jeannie blushed but found the remark only bolstering her anger.

"Well at least I do that instead of just BREAKING my promises like YOU DO."

Steve looked horrified as the argument once more escalated and he went to sit up and protest again but a stabbing pain ripped through his sternum and took his breath away and he slumped back against the pillows gripping his chest as the colour drained from his face. Neither Stone saw what had happened as they remained glaring at each other just as the door to the room flew open and Rita appeared looking alarmed, after hearing the angry, raised voices booming from Room five on her way back to check on Steve.

"What on EARTH is going on in here? " she demanded as she glanced primarily at her patient and saw his visible distress. "STEVE? ..."

She rushed forward to him as Jeannie and Mike finally followed her gaze and saw Steve's face contorted in pain. Jeannie turned and half yelled.

"Steve! ... NOW look what you've done Daddy. "she shot back at Mike who once more saw red at the insinuation, despite his deepening concern for the young man in the bed.

"Look at what I'VE done? You're the one who starting firing false accusations in the first place. Besides ... if you had stayed in Arizona like you had PROMISED him and concentrated on your exams like you were SUPPOSED to, this wouldn't have even happened. I was HANDLING this perfectly fine on my own thank you very much" he retorted crossly, his worried eyes leaving Rita and Steve briefly to glare once more at Jeannie.

"Steve honey, talk to me. What's happening?" Rita meanwhile asked Steve as she ignored the loud reproaches still going back and forth behind her. She removed Steve's clenched hand from his top in order to check his chest dressings while glancing anxiously at his grayish pallor and his racing heart rate on the screen behind her, his visible discomfort and distress worrisome to say the least.

"Chest ... hurts ..." Steve mouthed breathlessly, so relieved that Rita had arrived into the room and deciding to grasp the opportunity to plead with her to help sanity prevail behind them. " Please Rita ... Stop them fighting ... It's ... it's all my fault ..."

Rita stroked his forehead soothingly and her heart went out to the young man as she heard the audible angst and heartache the Stone's argument was causing him and in full patient protective mode she rounded on them with an authoritative voice.

"That's ENOUGH! Now I don't know what's going on here but I do know that this is NOT the place for it to play out in. THIS is a Cardiac Care Unit. MIKE, I'm SURPRISED at you!"

Mike looked suitably admonished, his face now reddening as he realized that she was right. He stammered apologetically, Rita being the last person he wanted to disappoint right now and knowing his failure to take the argument elsewhere had possibly compromised Steve's health.

"You're right Rita ... I'm sorry ... My daughter Jeannie here decided to arrive unannounced and just caught me off guard ..."

Jeannie didn't react well to his statement as her eyes darted in his direction and shone fiery red. Rita saw the steely flash in the young woman's eyes that she also noticed were remarkably the same striking blue colour as her father's and before the argument could recommence she intervened, softening her tone and clasping Mike's arm imploringly.

"Mike, take Jeannie downstairs for a coffee and sort out whatever this is about OUTSIDE this room ... Please? ... "

Mike looked and saw her earnest request and saw her gesturing slightly towards Steve as she spoke. He followed her gesture and saw Steve leaning back against the pillows, his good hand covering his face and his afflicted hand grasping his chest. He noticed that the young man's chest was heaving and his breathing was labored. He hadn't even noticed how much their argument had affected him until then and looking equally both horrified and ashamed, he nodded at Rita apologetically.

"Ok ... Jeannie come on. Let's go downstairs and talk. Rita's right. Here's not the place or the time. Steve needs to rest. "

"NO! ... Something's wrong with him ... I'm not leaving. Steve, I'm sorry if our argument upset you. Are you ok?"

Steve didn't answer her. He couldn't. He was struggling to contain his upset and deal with his pain at the same time. Mike threw an arm around her shoulders and spoke more compassionately.

"Jeannie ... Sweetheart? ... Listen to me will you? We need to talk but we've upset Steve enough. Rita will take care of him. I trust her completely. Come with me will you ... please? We need to talk Honey ..."

Something about Mike's tender tone quietened her anger and knowing he was right she found herself allowing Mike to turn her away from Steve and walk her towards the door.

"Ok Daddy ... "

Then turning as he got her to the door, she turned and spoke back to Steve, the upset clearly starting to manifest itself in her voice.

"I'm so sorry Steve ... I never meant to cause this ..."

She felt Mike squeeze her shoulder lovingly and then as he opened the door and guided her out, he too cast one more remorseful look back at Rita and Steve and spoke quietly, the shame and concern evident in his voice.

"Rita, will ... he be ok?"

"He'll be ok Mike ... I'll make sure of that ... Don't worry ... "

Mike looked at Rita dolefully, fearing that perhaps his overheard outbursts had impacted on their newly made friendship as well but instead he was heartened by the compassionate and sympathetic smile she sent in his direction.

"Take all the time you need Mike. I'll take care of him."

"Thank you ... I appreciate that Rita and I'm really sorry you had to witness that " was all he dolefully replied before looking once more towards the shaking and sickly young man in the bed who he had caused such distress to unintentionally and spoke sincerely, his voice breaking as he did.

We'll be back later Steve ... You do as Rita tells you, you hear me now? ... I'm ... I'm really sorry too Buddy boy ..."

Then not expecting a response he quickly exited the room and closed the door gently behind him. Rita felt sorry for the older man, not quite sure what had caused such a drastic argument but having overheard the last part about Jeannie's mother, she somehow felt that it had more than likely nothing so much to do with the current situation with Steve but more about some hurt from the past that Steve's current situation had brought back to the fore. She only hoped they could resolve it amicably. For now though she had a patient desperately in need of her immediate assistance so she pushed the Stones to the back of her mind as she rushed back to Steve's bedside.

On arriving back beside him she could see his chest heaving worryingly. Steve was highly distressed and his heart rate was faster than she would like it to be. Whatever the argument had been about, Steve was taking it very hard. Rita pulled his hand away from his face gently and placing a gentle hand on his cheek to make sure she had his undivided attention, she spoke firmly.

"Steve, you need to calm down for me. Your breathing is way too fast. Mike and Jeannie are gone to sort everything out. Everything's going to be ok."

She saw the unshed tears brimming in his eyes and her heart went out to him. To her dismay her words didn't work as she watched him shake his head from side to side and stammer gut-wrenchingly.

"No, no Rita ... you don't understand. It's all my fault ... It's all my ... fault ..."

His agitation was only getting worse by the second and she could feel him trembling from the pent up anxiety. She pressed the call button immediately fearing a need for possible assistance as it was proving harder than she had hoped it would be to calm Steve down. Steve's breathing deteriorated further as he struggled to cope with the upset he felt he had caused and the pain in his chest and the rising nausea that were currently battling for his attention.

"Steve, you need to slow your breathing down for me ... Take nice slow breaths in and out ... Otherwise you're going to make yourself sick... Come on now ..."

Steve tried to do as he was told and making an effort to breathe in time with Rita he managed to slow it down a little but not enough to slow the incessant beeping of the heart monitor just yet. The room felt like it was getting stuffier with each second that passed and his head was starting to spin. He could feel the nausea building with the dizziness and started to feel like he was suffocating. Gasping worryingly he alerted Rita, clawing at her arm in a panicked fashion.

"Rita ... Please open the window ... I ... I can't breathe ..."

Rita frowned as she heard Steve describe his sudden claustrophobia which meant her worst fears were playing out. Just at that moment the door burst open and Lisa came running in, having seen the alarm call from Room five as she had been signing off Steve's chart at the nurse's station. Seeing Steve almost gray in the face and breathing erratically she rushed forward to assist her colleague who was now placing an oxygen mask over his face to help with his breathing.

"Rita? My God, what's happened?"

"He's having a bad anxiety attack. Lisa, could you please open the window for me?"

"Of course ..." Lisa replied as she rushed towards the window and opened it enough to pull in the evening breeze. The sun was going down slowly and the evening air had a distinct chill to it. As Rita placed the mask over his nose and mouth, Steve felt the unmistakable stomach ache that he had come to know and dread. His hand came up to pull at the mask while Rita tried to convince him to keep it in place.

"Steve, I know you don't care for the mask but it will help. Take some deep breaths of the oxygen and it will help settle your breathing. You have to trust me Steve."

Suddenly Sylvia's words from yesterday came to him from out of nowhere. He had to tell Rita what was happening and so from behind the mask he gasped desperately once more.

"Feel ... sick ..."

Seeing his sickly pallor and hearing Steve's words, Rita quickly removed the mask and grabbed the bowl from the bedside locker and got it in front of Steve just as he began to throw up into it violently, his stomach almost spasming with the churning upset that the earlier scene had caused him to feel. Rita assisted him, watched by Lisa until he finally lay back drained from the painful episode, his eyes closed and his breathing still erratic and irregular.

"Oh dear Steve. That's the shake back ... " she uttered in disappointment as she replaced the oxygen mask over Steve's nose and mouth. The vomiting while unpleasant and painful seemed to have cleared some of the pent up anxiety and she was relieved to see her patient finally sucking in deep breaths of the oxygen in a valiant attempt to get his breathing back under control. Rita turned to see Lisa watching him with concern and spoke to her softly.

"Don't worry dear, he's starting to settle down now. Lisa, I know your shift is now officially over but could you please get me his next painkillers? I think he's due some now and he seems to be in a lot of pain with his chest after that. I don't want to leave him just yet"

"Sure, no problem. I'll just get them for you." Lisa answered, hurrying back out the door.

As Lisa left Steve's voice drew Rita's attention once more as his breathing finally started to settle and his heart rate finally slowed enough so the noise from the monitor didn't sound as invasive anymore. Pulling the mask away, he let it fall, still grasped in his hand back down onto the bed.

"I'm really sorry Rita ... I couldn't stop it ... I ... I really thought I was going to manage to keep that drink down ..."

Rita smiled sympathetically and once more stroked his cheek.

"That's ok Steve. I think you would have ... only for that argument. Steve? What was it about? "

Steve stared at her with two green eyes that seemed to hold a world of sadness all on their own. He hadn't fully had time to reconcile exactly what had just happened ... All he knew for sure was that the two people he considered to be family were at each others throats and it was ALL his fault."

"I shouldn't have rang Jeannie ... If she fails her exams, it ... it will be all my fault ... Mike's mad at me ... I've ... I've messed everything up Rita ..."

Steve's voice wavered and a silent tear fell from his left eye and trailed down his cheek.

"NO ... No Steve, you haven't messed anything up. NONE of this has been your fault. And Mike is NOT mad at you. He cares about you Steve like a son. He told me so. Whatever that argument was about, it wasn't really about you and YOU didn't cause it. "

Steve shook his head again from side to side, a wall of despair building inside him.

"No, no you weren't here. He said I caused enough trouble for one day ..."

Rita knew she had to get through to him. He was only going to work himself back into another panic attack if she didn't choose her words carefully.

"Steve, people always say things they don't mean in the heat of an argument. Mike thinks the world of you and Jeannie. Anyone can see that and he wouldn't let anything jeopardize that. You'll see. Him and Jeannie will work things out and then they'll be back to see you and everything will be better. Right now you have to take it easy and rest. No more worrying ok?"

Steve met Rita's eyes. Something about her reminded him of Mike. Her words held comfort and wisdom and she had a good heart and felt trustworthy. There was one thing he feared above all else. It was the one thing that firmly lay behind his anxiety attack. He needed to voice it. And he felt now and to Rita was the right time and person to share it with.

"Rita? I ... I can't get through this alone ... I can't do this ... without them ..."

His voice broke and another tear fell down his cheek as Rita's eyes filled too with the heartbreak she felt for this broken and struggling young man. His whole life ahead of him and yet he couldn't see past the struggle, the pain, the fear and the uncertainty. But she would change that and she was going to start right NOW. This young man needed her help and she knew exactly what she needed to do. First though she needed to comfort him. Reaching forward to wipe the tear away with her hand, she cupped his cheek and looked into the two green eyes of pain that stared back at her.

"Steve, sweetheart. NOBODY is going to let you go through this on your own. Not me, not Lisa and most definitely NOT Jeannie and Mike. That I can safely promise you. Ok?"

She smiled warmly at him and watched him nod as he muttered a less than convincing ok back just as Lisa came back into the room with the syringe dose of painkillers. Normally he dreaded them but right now he felt he would almost welcome the drug induced stupor. He didn't want to think or worry anymore. He just wanted to forget. Rita asked Lisa if she would mind administering it while she cleared up from earlier. Lisa injected the drug into Steve's arm and noticed worryingly that he didn't even flinch. He lay staring at the far wall, a blank and uncaring expression on his face, a recent trail of tears still damp on his cheek where he hadn't even bothered to wipe them away. She didn't speak as she gave the injection, feeling slightly out of her depth and unsure of what she could say to raise Steve's visibly deflated spirits. With a gentle pat of his shoulder she said goodbye and left the room, stopping as she reached the door to look back at her patient and she found herself hoping that Rita could get through to him and help him. Steve startled as the door banged slightly as it opened after Lisa's departure and he turned to see Rita pushing a wheelchair into the room. Wheeling it over beside his bed he stared at her in confusion as a smile lit up her face.

"You have about a half hour or so before those drugs take hold. How would you feel about getting out of this room for a little while?"

 **A/N: Firstly thank you for all the good wishes. The dreaded bug has finally cleared the house and normality is slowly resuming. Secondly a warm and heart felt thanks to all the readers for sticking with this story and for the heartwarming comments and support. Much appreciated. :-)  
**


	24. Chapter 24

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 24

Steve stared at Rita and the wheelchair anxiously. He shifted uncomfortably where he lay and stammered nervously.

"What? ... Have I to go for more tests?"

Rita smiled and reassured the young man.

"No, nothing like that. I just felt these four walls were closing in on you a little and thought a little time out would do you good. But do you feel up to that?"

Steve found himself sighing audibly with relief. The thoughts of more tests or interventions right now would have been the final straw so to speak but a break from the sterile, stuffy room felt like a godsend right then. He gestured to all the wires connecting him to various drips and monitors.

"Yeah, yeah I think I'm up for it but ... well what about all these things? "

"Don't you worry about those. We can disconnect you from the monitor for a little while but the drip has to stay I'm afraid. Right now, it's the only hydration you're getting. But that's what this pole is for on the back of the chair so it can come with you. Do you think you'll be able to get from the bed into the chair by yourself or will I get one of the male nursing assistants to help us?"

Steve felt really weak and more than a little shook after witnessing Jeannie and Mike's argument and the ensuing loss of his stomach contents for what felt like the umpteenth time that day but seeing the chair pushed close to the bed he figured that he had just about enough strength left to get himself into it without falling flat on his face. Or at least he hoped he had.

"No, no I think I can manage ..."

"Alright, let's get you sorted. We won't have too long before those drugs kick in and I'd prefer to have you back in bed by then." Rita said as she unbuttoned his pajama top and started disconnecting the electrodes off his chest and draped them back up over the machine.

Then taking down the drip she hung it on the back of the wheelchair and then closing his top, she helped him sit up further and swing his legs off the edge of the bed. She noticed him flinch a little as he became upright and kept a firm hold of his upper arm to keep him steady.

"You sure you're ok with this Steve? If you're not just say so and we'll get you back lying down."

Steve wanted nothing more than to get out of this room as the recent quarrel still tortured him psychologically and his tired brain replayed the harsh things that were said over and over in his mind.

"No, no I'm ok ..." he uttered breathlessly in a less convincing tone than the one he had hoped to portray.

Feeling decidedly shaky, he tried to hide that fact from Rita for fear he would end up back in the bed and with a renewed determination to escape his claustrophobic confines he made a strong effort and using his left arm as leverage he reached out and grabbed the left armrest on the chair and swung his body sideways landing heavily into the seat as he did. He sucked in a few deep breaths as the impact shook his chest and the scar burned a little. Draping his sore wrist across his lap, the breeze pouring in from the window now behind him, caught the back of his neck and caused him to shiver violently. Noticing, Rita quickly crossed behind the chair and pulled the window down shut and then with a hand on the young man's shoulder she addressed him again.

"Have you a dressing gown with you Steve? I don't want you catching cold while we're gone."

"Ah, I'm not sure. Mike packed me a bag yesterday but ... I'm not sure if he brought one ... I don't ... even know where he put the bag ..." Steve answered between shivers.

He dropped his left elbow onto the armrest and dropped his head into his hand briefly. God he felt so weak and he knew that the constant strong drugs and the inability to keep anything substantial in his stomach were most likely the main cause. He glanced sideways out of the window and saw that it was starting to get dark. The last burning glow of sunset was spreading across the San Francisco skyline and the city lights were starting to come on. Another wave of dizziness washed over him and he returned his head to his hand to allow it to pass over.

Rita crossed over to check the small closet and saw the bag resting on the floor. Picking it up, she unzipped it and retrieved the blue dressing gown that sat neatly folded on the top along with a pair of brown leather slippers that were carefully pushed down the side. Returning to Steve she bent down to place the slippers on his feet, looking up as she did to study his face that still hung low, resting in his hand. She visually assessed if Steve was up to what she had planned and suddenly wasn't too sure. She would have to play it by ear and keep a close eye on him as they went. Placing a hand on his knee she spoke with concern in her voice.

"Are you still feeling sick Steve?"

Steve lifted his head and dropped his hand back down. A visibly forced smile crossed his face and he replied as normally as he could manage.

"No, no I'm ok. Just feel a little weak, that's all. "

"Well, you haven't been eating for a few days Steve and this is your first official jaunt out of bed since the Angiogram. A little weakness is to be expected. That's why we need to get some proper sustenance into you. If at any stage you don't feel well and want to come back to your room, you have to promise to tell me, ok?"

Steve nodded downheartedly, noting by the emphasis on the word official that Rita must have been informed about his earlier attempt to leave and as she stood up with the dressing gown in her hand, he gestured to the attached drip in his right arm to try and distract the conversation away from that embarrassing episode that for now he would rather just forget.

"How are we going to get that on with this?"

"We'll just have to put your left arm in the sleeve and drape the other side around your other shoulder."

As she spoke she proceeded to do just that and with the gown half on and half around him she grabbed the handles from behind and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Ok, are you ready for this?"

Steve wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to be ready for. All he knew was that it was a chance to escape from Room five and the horrible memories both past and all too recent that haunted his thoughts. He nodded again as Rita pushed him out of the room into the main body of the CCU. He watched curiously as she pushed him past the nurse's station and then past the main desk. He listened as she spoke to the nurse at the desk.

"We'll be back shortly Anne. Tina is coming up while I'm gone to help out. You know where I'll be if you need me for anything." she stated as Steve's curiosity began to get the better of him.

He watched the gray haired nurse at the desk smile at them both and then wink at Rita and felt in that moment somehow that Rita's unplanned excursions with her patients were a regular thing that were known about and commonly accepted by the other staff members. The nurse called Anne certainly hadn't seemed overly concerned or indeed too surprised to see her wheeling Steve out of the CCU. As Rita pushed him through the two main doors of the CCU and started towards the elevators, Steve glanced behind him.

"Where are we going?"

"Don't worry. It's a surprise. You'll see. " she answered cryptically.

Steve wasn't worried about where they were going as such. He was just glad to be anywhere but that claustrophobic room that felt like it was sucking the life out of his very soul every minute he was there. The elevator doors opened and Steve was pushed inside and turned to face the doors. He watched as Rita pushed the uppermost floor button and became even more curious. He had thought that perhaps she was taking him out into the grounds of the Hospital for an evening stroll and some fresh air but he was obviously wrong. As the elevator pinged and he was pushed out his first sight was the sign for the Operating Theaters off to his right. Rita must have heard his sudden nervous intake of breath as he felt her squeeze his shoulder again .

"Don't worry. We're not going that way. We're going left."

Feeling relieved he watched as she pushed him off down a corridor to the left and arrived at double doors that read "Staff Only". Once again he panicked as he turned with questioning eyes to stare at Rita as she reached out and punched buttons on the door pad to open the door. A long low buzzer sounded and Steve spoke nervously.

"Rita? The sign says "Staff only". Am I allowed in here?"

He heard Rita chuckle softly and once more her hand squeezed his shoulder and her voice spoke softly into his left ear.

"Don't worry so much. When you work in a place as long as I have you get away with a lot more. There won't be a problem."

Steve was pushed through into another wide corridor with several doors leading off it. It seemed to go on for a long way into the distance and no sooner had they entered when a side door opened and four young nurses emerged from it chatting among themselves. As soon as he saw them, Steve made a grab for his dressing gown and pulled it closed to hide his scar, his head lowering purposefully to avoid their eyes. Rita saw the action and saddened. The young man had an unhealthy attitude towards his scar and she felt even more convinced that her plans for Steve were necessary for his recovery. The nurses stopped as they saw Rita and seemed to pause to appraise the young handsome man in the wheelchair that she was pushing. With notable nudges to each other and stifled whispers they greeted Rita in a friendly manner while one nurse sent a purposeful hello in Steve's direction. He merely smiled politely at the young nurse that addressed him but was grateful that Rita didn't stop but continued on. Before they reached the end of the long corridor Steve had met numerous nurses who all seemed to stare at him appreciatively and by the time they had passed them all by, Steve's face was a deep shade of crimson. Rita chuckled as she pushed him along and spoke in a lighthearted fashion.

"You seem to be causing quite a stir up here this evening Steve. "

Steve smiled at her statement. He thought about how a few years ago all the nurse's attention would have been more than welcome and he would have reveled in all the flirtatious glances that were being sent his way but this evening they just made him uncomfortable and self conscious and he frowned then at the thought that another part of who he used to be, seemed to have been replaced in those few life changing minutes when his very existence had hung firmly in the balance between life and death. Rita seemed to notice the way his smile had come and gone just as quickly and she hurried to reassure him.

"It's ok. Where we're going is much quieter."

They reached the end of the corridor and turned right into a much darker corridor. Dimly lit, there were doors on both sides which seemed to be in darkness. He swore he heard snores coming from one of them and looked again behind him anxiously. Rita's voice came into his ear again in a whisper.

"That's where some of the Doctors and surgeons go to lie down for a quick nap during their long shifts."

Steve nodded his understanding as they suddenly rounded a corner and arrived into a small and only slightly better lit seated area which boasted a wide window that showed a breathtaking view of the San Francisco skyline. It was now that magical time of evening where the last rays of the setting sun turned the sky a deep orange hue and the lights of the City were starting to slowly come alive one by one. Rita pushed his chair right up towards the window and smiled to herself as she heard his quick inhaled breath.

"Beautiful isn't it Steve?" Rita asked as she sat down into a chair beside him and looked at his expression.

His gaze was currently transfixed on the beauty of the sight in front of him and he had gone strangely silent and contemplative. His recent traumatic ordeal forgotten temporarily in the surreal moment, Rita heard his slow, deep breaths and smiled again, the first half of her mission a definite success.

"Yeah ... it sure is ..." was all the young man could manage to utter as he remained staring at the calming shades of the setting sun and the dazzling night lights that danced and flickered across the City he had grown to love.

Rita chuckled and reached over to squeeze his shoulder, finally managing to draw his eyes from the beauty, to look gratefully at the older nurse who had brought him here.

"I come here often when I'm on the night shift. During my breaks of course mostly. It's quiet and not many people use this space. They don't want to disturb the sleeping Doctors ... But it always holds a certain calming, stillness for me somehow. A chance to think things through sometimes and other times just a chance to simply breathe slower." she explained as she casually reached down and took his left wrist and to his curiosity started to take his pulse, lifting the nurse's watch that dangled from her uniform to perform the task at hand.

Steve remained quiet and simply watched her as she finished and smiled her widest smile yet as she released his wrist.

"Steve do you know how fast your pulse was back down in Room Five just a while ago when you were feeling sick and anxious?"

Steve shook his head.

"One hundred and forty three beats per minute. Now. Up here. It's seventy and falling. "

Steve looked momentarily taken aback by her statistics but he had felt his heart hammering in his chest earlier and ... and he WAS feeling much calmer up here. He processed what she told him and then grinned again gratefully.

"Is that why you brought me up here?"

"Mostly. And also because I always feel those small confined rooms in CCU are not always fully conducive to helping the patients recover. Oh sure, they have all the necessary equipment but sometimes they can get a little overwhelming ... Can't they Steve?"

Steve smiled at her perception and merely nodded his head before returning his eyes towards the restful view. He took in the changes that were taking place on the skyline as the orange was transforming into a red haze now and found himself uttering subconsciously, perhaps wishful thinking that the older man was once more back at his side.

"Mike sure would love to see this. "

Rita watched him as he visibly relaxed but also saw a certain sadness descending around him almost as quickly as the dark was outside.

Steve saw her watching him and felt he should explain.

"Once on a case, Mike told me that when he sees the San Francisco skyline all lit up at night ... he thinks it's beautiful. I told him he was a real romantic ..."

Steve smiled at the memory and then saddened again as he recalled how cross and disappointed Mike had appeared to be with him not so long ago. Rita made a quick mental note to remember that about Mike before returning her full attention to the mission at hand. Reaching out to lay a comforting hand on his arm, she spoke firmly so that he would pay attention.

"Steve? ... Mike's NOT mad at you. He's just feeling frustrated because he's not sure what he can do to help you."

Steve lifted his eyes to meet Rita's and the lost look that beamed from their depths touched her very soul.

"Did he ... say that to you?"

"He didn't have to Steve. I can tell. People want to help you Steve ... especially the people who care about you but you have to let them. You've already admitted you can't do it alone. The next step is to ask for whatever help you need and then to accept it. When you do that things will get a lot easier for you. I promise you, Steve. "

Steve looked away after hearing her words. _Asking for help had never been his strong point and he didn't even know what he needed from people so how could he ask for it? It was all too complicated. And thinking about it too much was making his head spin._ He dropped his head onto his chest and took a deep breath. He noticed Rita's hand move and watched as she gently pried his hand away from the dressing gown and pulled it away so that it opened again revealing the top of his scar. He looked sideways at her in mild confusion and met her comforting smile again.

"That's another bad habit we have to get you out of. You cant hide it forever Steve. And why should you have to?"

He blushed a little and felt the heat in his cheeks. He knew she was right but it was an easier thing to say than do. Before he could answer she took her next opportunity and spoke again.

"As for ringing Jeannie. You needed to call her ... Didn't you Steve? Because you weren't coping as well without her. You were struggling to cope on your own. Weren't you? You'd come to rely on her and then suddenly that crutch was gone. You needed to talk to her. To hear her voice. "

Rita watched as Steve's face darkened and his bottom lip began to quiver in the dim light. She knew he was thinking about what she had said and knew by his reaction that she had called it right. Clasping his hand she spoke softly.

"I'm right ... Aren't I Steve?"

Steve nodded and then swallowed hard before answering remorsefully.

"I was just being selfish ... I should have thought about what was best for her instead ..."

"Steve? I know I haven't known you very long, but I like to think that I am a very good judge of character and I don't believe that you have a single selfish bone in your body. You weren't being selfish. You were doing what you needed to do in order to help you cope. Mike will come to see that and Jeannie looks like a very capable and strong young woman and she'll pass her exams whether she studies here or in Arizona. Mark my words. I know you feel that everything is falling apart and that everything is messed up but things are just realigning that's all. Sure things have changed drastically for you all but don't look at it as the end of something but rather as a new beginning. A chance to clear the page and start again. Stronger and wiser. A year from now this will all be a bad memory and life will be good again. You have to believe that Steve and you have to work towards the future not dwell on the past and all the things you can't change. "

Steve stared at Rita and dry swallowed again. Her words made sense but it sounded too simple. Would a change of outlook really make a difference? He wondered. Then he found himself smiling at the kindly nurse who was going to so much trouble to pull him from his despair.

"You know ... you and Mike are very alike. Both full of wisdom and good advice. Both very strong characters and both good at getting me to talk ... Even when I'd rather not!" he added humorously.

Steve's comparison pleased Rita and she smiled even wider. She considered it a great compliment to be compared to the larger than life and very capable and caring person that was Mike Stone.

"We've just lived through a lot that's all. When you're older someone will say the same about you too ..." she cajoled, putting special emphasis on the long and fruitful life that still lay ahead of him.

"Rita? I'm not the only patient you've ever brought up here ... am I?"

Rita chuckled softly.

"Now what makes you think that?"

"Well ...The nurse at the desk downstairs didn't seem too surprised that you were taking me off somewhere and then ... despite coming through a staff only area no-one really seemed surprised to see me here either. That's because I was with you wasn't it?"

Rita's eyes seemed to sparkle in the dim light and she nodded, impressed by the young man's deductions.

"I can see you must have been quite the detective Steve Keller. Yes, you're right. You're not the first but I don't take all my patients up here. Only the ones I think need a little extra help."

Letting go of Steve's hand, Rita checked her watch and saw that stage two of her plan was falling behind schedule so she asked him another quick question.

"Listen Steve? Would you be ok here by yourself for a quick minute or two while I get something from the Nurse's lounge back down the corridor."

Steve sat up straighter and found himself looking cautiously around him. The corridor to his left was still dark and deserted and all was quiet for the moment. Feeling a little more confident than he felt, he answered bravely.

"Yeah, I guess so but ... What if one of the Doctors see me? I mean I'm not exactly supposed to be here, am I?"

"Don't worry. Even if they see you they won't question why you're here and anyway I'll only be a minute. Ok?"

"Ok ..." Steve answered quietly and sucked in a nervous breath as he watched her head back down the dark corridor leaving him temporarily alone.

He turned and looked back out at the view. The sky was now almost totally black except for the City lights. He thought about Mike and Jeannie and wondered where they were and whether they were still arguing with each other or if they had made things up. He hoped they were resolving things but many hurtful things had been said on both sides and some things he hadn't fully understood. Their words returned to haunt him and he wondered what other time Mike had referred to where Jeannie had crossed her fingers and thus broken a promise. Then there were the blatant mentions of Helen's passing and the obvious rift that had opened up around that time between them. He was still lost in his thoughts about the argument when a woman's voice calling his name startled him.

"STEVE? ... I thought that was you ..."

He spun around a little too quick at the unexpected voice and his head swam a little more. Squinting a little as the woman came further towards him he saw that it was Sylvia, the nurse from his time in Recovery. As the dizziness settled, he smiled as the familiar face came fully into view.

"Sylvia ... Hi ..."

"Hi. I'm sorry I never got back up to check on you. Things were pretty hectic down in Recovery after you left but I had planned on popping up to see you just now when my shift ended but looks like you came to me instead. How are you doing?"

"Ok ... The infection seems to be cleared and my temperature's down. I'm just waiting for Rita. She's gone to get something. "

"Oh that's good to hear. What about that sick stomach of yours?"

"That's ... not doing as good."

Sylvia heard the break in his voice and knew the constant sickness must be wearing him down. Deciding to change the subject she followed his gaze to the window.

"It's a really beautiful view from here isn't it? " she stated as she watched Steve admiring it himself.

"Yeah ... It's pretty special alright."

"I sent Mike up to you yesterday. Did he find you OK?"

Steve nodded gratefully but at the mention of Mike his face saddened again. Noting the change Sylvia moved closer and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Hey? What's the matter?"

"Nothing ... It's just been a bad day, that's all ... It's kind of a long story."

"Oh I see. Well I figured something was up if Rita brought you up here."

Steve released a nervous chuckle which Sylvia felt held more fear and despair than genuine humor.

"What? Is this the last resort for the lost causes, huh?"

"HEY! You're NOT a lost cause Steve ... Just maybe off track a little, huh?"

"A little?" Steve answered shaking his head incredulously. " Try way off base without a map."

"Hey! Is that a defeatist attitude I hear? Only if it is you can't be the same Steve Keller that came into Recovery yesterday. That Steve Keller had a fighting spirit. "

"Yeah, well maybe that Steve's just a little tired of fighting. "

He hung his head as he said it , feeling a little ashamed that she was right. Things were starting to get in on him and he was finding it harder to stay positive.

"I don't believe that. Not for a second Steve. You've just been knocked down a little too much lately that's all. Just because it's that bit harder to get back up doesn't mean you can't get up at all."

Steve looked back up at her and couldn't help the genuine smile that crossed his lips.

"Now you sound like my Grandfather. He had a saying. " When you're hardest hit, never quit."

As the words left his mouth, he realized that he hadn't thought about that saying for quite a while and it threw him a little. He could almost hear Harry's voice saying it in his head. Sylvia smiled.

"Your Grandfather sounds like he was a very wise man. Maybe you should listen to and follow his advise now Steve?"

Steve merely nodded solemnly, the memory of his beloved Grandfather now foremost in his thoughts. Before he could answer Rita reappeared and greeted Sylvia as she did.

"Hi Sylvia. I see you've found some excellent company in my absence Steve."

Steve nodded and watched as Rita came forwards and placed another lidded cup with a straw into his left hand. Seeing him about to protest, she spoke first more firmly.

"Steve, you have to try again. You would have kept the other one down only for the upset and you need the sustenance. Your blood sugars are down and as a result you're getting dizzy spells aren't you?"

Steve's jaw dropped. How could she have known that? He hadn't said anything about it.

"How did you ...?"

Before he could fully ask, Rita spoke again.

"You can't keep anything medical from me young man so don't even try. I saw how dizzy you were after we got you into the chair earlier. Now please drink it for me."

Sylvia saw his reluctance and joined the conversation.

"Steve? What would your Grandfather say about this if he were here right now?"

Steve looked thoughtful and replied in a shaky voice.

"He'd say ... Drink it up Stevie my boy. It's good for what ails you."

A smile lit up his face at the many times his Grandfather had said that same thing to him in the far distant past and then looked up to see the two nurses side by side, waiting for him to drink it.

"Ok ... I'll give it another try." he grumbled reluctantly as he sucked at the straw and swallowed as much of the drink as he felt he could tolerate for now.

Stopping half way down he put it down on his lap as Sylvia spoke.

"Well I have to be going I'm afraid. My four year old daughter is waiting for me to tuck her into bed and to read her favorite bedtime story. Well done Steve. You take care now."

Steve thanked and said goodbye to her and watched her turn and leave before looking back around at Rita who was smiling proudly at him.

"What?"

"How are you feeling now? Are those meds kicking in yet?"

"Well ... The pain is easing alright but I don't feel woozy yet. Why? Do we have to go back now?"

His last question held a certain amount of trepidation and she felt sorry for him again.

"Well I was going to bring you one other place but I fear we're running out of time. I want you back in bed before those meds hit. They're very strong and it mightn't be safe to have you out in the chair when they kick in. We don't want you keeling over, now do we?"

At the mention of not having to return to Room five just yet, Steve's face momentarily brightened.

"NO ... no I'm ok. Don't bring me back just yet ... Please ..."

Rita sat down once more in front of Steve and looked carefully into his eyes. Steve nervously giggled as she did and spoke, his voice filled with curiosity.

"What? What are you doing?"

Rita reached out then unexpectedly and lifted Steve's upper eyelids one by one and lifted his chin towards the light.

"I'm checking your pupil dilation to see if those meds have kicked in yet ..."

"What? You don't believe me? " Steve replied, feigning hurt in his voice.

"I BELIEVE that right now you'd say anything to keep from going back to Room five. THAT'S what I believe." she said lightheartedly, as she heard Steve giggle again and knew she had called it right a second time.

"So? ... Do I pass?" Steve asked, trying desperately to keep the anxiety from his voice that he knew her answer might bring.

"Well, your eyes aren't glazed and aren't showing signs of the medication yet but your pulse rate is a lot slower which would lead me to believe that it won't be long before it does. I'm not sure Steve. I'm sorry but I think we should just get you back to your room."

Steve's disappointment was palpable and he pleaded one last time.

"Aw please Rita ... Really, I'm ok. Look I'll tell you when I feel woozy. I promise."

"I'm sorry Steve ... Look if you keep drinking those shakes for me maybe I can bring you back up here tomorrow for another little while, ok?"

Seeing that Rita had made her decision, Steve nodded in a defeated manner and sighed as Rita stood up and went behind him, clasping the handles and pushing him back the way he had come in. The corridor wasn't as busy this time and Steve figured it was because most of the shift changeovers were now fully in place. One tall blonde nurse exited a door just ahead of them at one stage and Steve went to cover his scar until Rita's hand came around the front and pushed his hand gently back away.

"Steve, we talked about that ... It's fine how it is ..."

Steve groaned again and went very quiet as she pushed him back out to the elevators and once more returned to CCU. Going through the double doors and past the smiling form of Anne at reception, Rita felt the despondency almost grow by the second from the seated young man in front of her. As she passed the nurse's station she stopped outside another patient's room and seemed to consider if she could possibly risk going ahead with the second part of her plan. She wasn't fully sure if he was up to it but she didn't want him going back to his room seemingly more depressed than when he left it earlier either. Coming around to face him, she noted that he was surprised by her arrival and looked at her curiously.

"Are you sure you feel up to one more visit?"

His hopes having been dashed earlier, a hint of a smile returned to his face as he nodded purposefully.

"Yes ... Yes I'm sure. But ... we're almost back to my room."

"That's ok. Here is where I was going to bring you anyway."

Steve's eyes widened as he watched her knock on the door to his left with the number three on it and heard a woman's voice shout out "Come in!"

He startled for a second and grabbed Rita's arm, not having this in mind when he had agreed to another visit.

"Wait a minute! ... You meant ... actually visiting SOMEONE ..." he stammered and saw Rita smile at his reaction.

"Relax Steve. It's fine. She's expecting us."

"She's EXPECTING us? Who's expecting us? WAIT!"

As Rita came back around to open the door and push him through, he quickly grabbed in panic at her arm again and spoke in a whisper.

"Rita, I'm not in any fit state to visit anyone just yet. I look like HELL."

"Steve? You're a patient in CCU. So is she. She's not going to expect you to look any different to how you are now. You look fine."

As Rita ignored his pleas and continuing pushing him into Room three, Steve quickly brushed his good hand through his hair and grabbed the gown up around his neck with his afflicted hand much to Rita's dismay. Entering the room Steve saw a young woman lying in the bed. She was very pretty with brown cascading curls framing a pale face that while sickly looking was lit up by a wide, welcoming smile. The light above her bed was on so he could see her clearly but the rest of the room was poorly lit and Steve hoped that as a result she wouldn't see the state he was in. But to his further dismay, Rita pushed his chair right up beside the young woman's bed so that he was within easy reach of her hand.

"Hi Rita ..."

"Hi Susan. How are you feeling this evening?"

"Ok thanks." Then looking at Steve she spoke softly as she held out her hand towards him. " Hi ... you must be Steve."

Steve took her hand and lightly shook it almost afraid to hold it too tight seeing how fragile she looked under the dim light.

"Hi ..." was all Steve managed to utter and he cursed the fact that his nervousness and discomfort had been audible even in that one two letter word.

His unease grew even more as he saw the red raw scar that peered at him clearly from the top of her Hospital gown and he averted his eyes away from it back to her face as it reminded him of how bad his had looked only a couple of weeks ago. He felt his stomach churn and a small sweat break out on his brow. He forced a smile and was about to try and speak again when the door behind them opened and Anne appeared addressing Rita.

"Rita? Can you give me a quick hand with Mr. Alexander please? "

Rita looked at Steve who looked at her with horror in his eyes and shook his head very slightly to indicate that he didn't want to be left there on his own but Rita smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

"It's alright Steve, I'll only be a few minutes. You talk to Susan and I'll be right back. "

Steve didn't see the knowing look that passed between her and Susan as she turned to leave and he made another grab for her arm as she passed him but missed and watched in horror as she left the room before turning awkwardly to look at Susan again and smiling warmly despite his visible embarrassment and apprehension. Realizing in his haste to try and stop Rita he had let go of the dressing gown, he quickly grabbed it again and watched as Susan smiled warmly at him, endeared by his visible embarrassment and reaching out a hand she placed it on his arm.

"It's ok. I don't bite ..." she said lightheartedly which made him chuckle nervously.

"I'm sorry ... This is just a little awkward ... I ah ... I think I may have just been set up by an expert ..."

Susan smiled even wider.

"With Rita ... most probably ... But she means well. She didn't tell you she was bringing you to see me, did she?"

Steve shook his head.

"No, not exactly. I'm sorry I ah ... I look a right state ... I can't even remember the last time I put a comb through this ..." he uttered in mortification as he used his free hand to brush nervously through his bed tossed hair.

"That's ok. You look fine. Besides ... I haven't exactly been to the beauty parlor either lately. I'm going for the newly operated on look ... You think it will catch on?"

Susan laughed and Steve found himself laughing too, the humor finally breaking the ice a little but the sight of her scar still disturbed him. It held too many bad memories of his own. Seeing him avert his eyes once more, she squeezed his arm and spoke softly.

"You CAN look at it you know?"

Steve dry swallowed and looked back at her as casually as he could.

"What?"

"It's very sweet of you to try and not stare at it but I really don't mind you looking at my scar."

Steve felt like the room had suddenly tilted as her words came out. He almost held his breath as he stammered a reply.

"Doesn't it bother you ... when people stare at it?"

Susan had seen him protecting his own scar from view and knew he visibly had issues with his own scar and wasn't at all surprised by the question.

"It did once ... Not the first two times because I was too young and didn't really notice people staring but the last time it did but not anymore."

"Not the first two times? This ... isn't your first heart surgery?"

"No, this is my fourth." Susan stated in a very matter of fact tone as Steve's jaw dropped and he looked shocked to the core.

"Your fourth? " he questioned incredulously as his mouth felt like it suddenly went bone dry and his stomach lurched. The young woman in the bed looked younger than he was and to think she had gone through what he had not once but four times really shook him.

Licking his lips to moisten them, he continued cautiously.

"Do you mind me asking why?"

"No, not at all. I was born with a heart defect. They've had to do a few procedures since then to rectify the problem. They tell me this recent one should be the last. "

Steve marveled at how calm and collected she seemed to be even talking about it. He remained shell shocked by the fact that she had endured the same ordeal four times. He ran a hand through his hair, this time from pure habit and shook his head from side to side.

"Wow! I'm struggling with going through this once. How can you cope with all that?"

"I guess with me it's just been routine. I've always known I had to have these procedures done. At least now I know the stages and what to expect."

Steve looked at her scar and spoke dolefully.

"Your scar goes further up than mine ..."

"Yeah, some of the scar tissue caused a few problems this time. They had to extend the scar. It's ok though. I ah ... I see you're still at the hiding it stage, huh?"

Steve glanced down and saw that she was right and let go of the dressing gown abruptly, shuddering slightly as he knew she could now see his scar too.

"How long ago did you have your operation, Steve?"

"Four weeks ago ... Your scar still looks very new. How long ago was yours?"

"Two weeks ago. "

She noticed Steve shivering again. His ribs were almost throbbing in sympathy as he thought about Susan having her rib cage opened more than once and felt his head start to swim again

"I remember two weeks. It wasn't very pleasant and ... very painful. Don't your ribs hurt really bad? I mean ... FOUR times? "

Susan saw that what little colour he had when he came in, was beginning gradually to drain from his face and knew that perhaps they needed to move on from the gorier aspects of the surgery.

"They keep me well medicated. But I've been through it so many times now I guess I just know what to expect. Four weeks is tough too. How are you coping with it all? "

Steve shrugged his shoulders and dropping his head briefly, she heard a heavy sigh.

"I ah ... I don't think coping is perhaps the right word. But ... I'm getting by ..."

She looked down and saw the lidded cup balancing between his knees and frowned.

"I see they have you on those nutrition shakes, huh?"

"Yeah ... Food doesn't seem to want to stay in my stomach these days ... These aren't so bad though ... " he said still averting his eyes and now fingering the cup subconsciously in a distracted manner.

Taking her hand back from Steve's arm, Susan reached across to the bedside locker and picked up a similar cup and spoke in a lighthearted tone.

"Me too ..."

Those words made Steve look up and when he saw the nutrition shake in her hand, he smiled and asked.

"What flavor is yours?"

"Strawberry. What about yours?"

He smiled wider. For the first time in four weeks, he suddenly didn't feel alone in how he was feeling or what he was going through as he answered.

"Chocolate."


	25. Chapter 25

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 25

Susan held up her nutrition shake and smiling, she spoke humorously.

"I drink to your speedy recovery Steve."

Grinning now from ear to ear as he watched the young woman in the bed drink from her shake, he shook his head and lifted his too.

"Thank you ... and I drink to yours."

He lifted the shake and sucked a little from the straw but seeing him take only a small bit, Susan frowned and then decided to rise to the challenge. Rita had told her that Steve had been having trouble eating and drinking things and so discarding the straw and lid off hers unexpectedly, she got a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"Let's see who can finish theirs first. What do you say Steve? You up for it?"

Steve looked taken aback at first by the blatant challenge and then smiled at her ability to be in such good humor and retain her sense of fun despite her current bleak situation. He wanted to participate and not disappoint her but at the same time he didn't think that drinking the shake very fast was a good idea with his current track record.

"No, sorry ... I ... I don't think so ..."

"Aw come on ... Are you afraid you'll lose?" she asked teasingly. "Besides ... you have the distinct advantage with two weeks more of recovery behind you."

Steve laughed at her playfulness and felt himself rising to the challenge. Staring at Susan who was now grinning from ear to ear, he chuckled once more before discarding his own lid and straw in one quick movement and lifting it in readiness.

"Ok ... You're on."

Susan admired his going along with her dare and so positioning her drink carefully she announced.

"Ready, get set, GO!"

The two started to down the shakes at the same time but Susan seemed to have the overall advantage. Steve's gag reflex was hampering his progress as it fought against him to repel the drink that was now being swallowed down way too fast. As he struggled on valiantly and was nearing the end, Susan suddenly slammed down her cup and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she smiled and announced proudly.

"I win!"

Steve lowered his drink and coughed a little before accepting defeat as he wagged a finger in her direction

"I almost got you ... But you did win fair and square. "

Reaching out, Susan pulled down his cup to see how well he had done and was pleased to see that he had managed most of it down to the last few mouthfuls.

"Not bad. But ... seeing as you lost now you have to pay the forfeit."

Steve held up both hands in a feigned surrendering gesture.

"Hey, hey wait a minute! You never said anything about a forfeit."

"Oh come on. What fun is there in winning if I don't get some sort of reward?"

Steve laughed and strangely found himself actually enjoying the playful banter and fun with this endearing and inspirational young woman after the harrowing few days he had spent here in CCU so far. Feeling a little braver than he had been, he smiled warmly and found himself asking nervously.

"Ok. I guess that makes sense. But what's the forfeit?"

"Hmmm ... Let me see. Well I guess I better go easy on you so ... You have to tell me a bit about yourself. How's that?"

"Ok ... that doesn't sound too bad. What do you want to know?"

Susan beamed as her plan was working. Rita had asked for her help with Steve and so far she felt she was succeeding in leaps and bounds. She had gotten him to drink most of the Nutrition shake and gotten him to stop trying to hide his scar and thinking about it and he had only been here visiting with her less than ten minutes. If she could now just get him to talk about the shooting she would be batting three for three. Not a bad average. Bolstered by her success so far she asked confidently.

"Ok ... What happened to you to land you in this place?"

Susan watched as Steve's smile faded almost instantly and she cursed the fact that maybe her arrogance at her success so far had made her ask that question a little too soon. She watched as he swallowed hard and then looked away briefly before a forced, nervous smile finally replaced the original one.

"Boy! You certainly don't beat around the bush do you?"

Knowing she was going to have to regain lost ground quickly and rebuild his trust, she decided on another tactic.

"I'm sorry Steve. Maybe that was a bit too personal. I guess living with this condition, I've learned that life is short and very tenuous and beating around the bush is just a waste of precious time but ... you don't have to answer that if you'd rather not. It's ok ..."

Steve couldn't fault her response and found himself stammering in reply as he noticed her looking a little dejected by his reluctance to answer.

"No, no that's ok. I don't mind you asking. You just caught me off guard a little with that question, that's all ..."

He chuckled nervously and saw Susan look back at him eagerly as he licked his lips a second time as they seemed to dry up on the spot.

'I ah ... I was a Police Officer and we were looking for some kidnappers. Anyway ... we traced one of them to a phone booth and I was the nearest Officer to the location so I ... I responded ... to the call ..."

Susan saddened as she heard the audible difficulty he was having trying to relay the story to her, clearly in his voice.

"When I got there I ... I didn't really follow protocol ... "

Steve stopped talking as he focused on his last statement. Something he hadn't purposefully dwelt on since the shooting but that now seemed to stand out to him for no apparent reason. Susan saw the remaining colour drain from his face and reaching out she touched his arm again as he stared blankly ahead of him.

"Steve? What protocol?"

Her question made him look at her again and she saw the visible inner torment in his striking green eyes.

"I ah ... I didn't approach with caution. I just walked straight out and called her name. I didn't even ... have my weapon drawn ... She ... she was right ..."

Susan was starting to regret starting the conversation as she saw the worrying pallor in his face and the tortuous tone he was using. She looked up at the door, hoping that Rita would return soon. When it didn't open, she spoke herself again, feeling reluctant to probe further but feeling that having started this, she had an obligation to follow it though.

"Who was right Steve? What happened?"

Again Susan's direct question drew his attention and he found himself stammering incoherently.

"Barbara Ross ... She said I was stupid. I guess she was right. I walked right into it ..."

Feeling more uncomfortable with every question she felt she had to ask, she watched him closely as she continued.

"What? ... What did you walk into Steve?"

Steve wasn't looking at her now. He was staring at the floor but Susan knew his mind was not even in the room with her but back in that horror filled moment in time.

"I walked right into her bullet. She just looked me in the eyes and ... and she pulled the trigger. She shot me ... right in the heart."

As he relived the moment in his head and felt even more responsible for his own misfortune, he felt his head begin to swim and the first vague familiar effect of the morphine started to wash over him in one unnerving wave. He could feel himself panic a little. His time was almost up and he knew it would only be a matter of minutes before it would fully take hold of him and leave him struggling to string any coherent words together and yet here he was still in Susan's room with no sign of Rita coming back. Pulling unnervingly at an invisible collar that seemed to have appeared from nowhere around his neck, that suddenly felt like it was stifling him, he spoke weakly.

"Rita sure is taking a long time ..."

Seeing his visible distress, Susan grabbed Steve's arm tighter and spoke anxiously.

"Steve? You've gone really pale. Are you ok? What's the matter?"

"I ah ... I got pain meds a while ago. I think ... they're starting to kick in ..."

"Steve are you still on the strong morphine?"

"Yeah ... "

Before Susan could ask if she should press the call button, the door opened and as they both looked anxiously hoping to see Rita enter, instead a tall blonde haired young man entered carrying a bunch of flowers in his hand. He looked to be around the same age as Susan and he approached the bed cheerfully, bending down to place a tender kiss on Susan's cheek as he reached her and handed her the bunch of flowers.

"Hey Sweetheart. How are you feeling this evening?"

Steve watched Susan's face light up as she saw him and watched as she kissed him back.

"Not too bad Paul. Oh these are lovely! Thanks Honey."

Suddenly Steve felt like the proverbial third wheel and becoming more claustrophobic by the second as the drugs worked their way through his system he reached down to try and maneuver his wheelchair by himself with one hand.

"Hey, I'm gonna leave you two in peace. It was really nice meeting you Susan."

Failing miserably to move the chair very far with one hand, he merely succeeded in bashing it off the end of the bed clumsily as the young man rushed around to steady the wheelchair and spoke in a friendly manner.

"Hey! You don't have to rush off on my account. The name is Paul. Paul Forrester. " he said reaching out his hand to shake Steve's.

"Hi ... I'm Steve. Steve Keller. "

As Steve took the young man's hand and shook it, he spotted the mostly healed but similar telltale scar at the top of Paul's shirt and found himself dragging his eyes away from it to stare at the young man's face instead. Paul had seen Steve's reaction and smiled.

"Yeah ... I'm one of you guys too. "

Steve looked slightly taken aback but before he could find the words he needed, he heard Susan speak from the bed.

"Paul, Steve is from Room five. Rita brought him over to visit. Steve, Paul had heart surgery eleven months ago too. "

Steve couldn't help noticing that Paul's scar was a lot more easier on the eye than his was and found himself wondering if his would end up looking like that in another seven month's time. He found himself stammering out a sentence that he couldn't quite believe had left his lips.

"Your scar has healed very well ..."

Paul looked at Susan who gave him a knowing look and then he looked back at Steve and answered.

"Yeah, it's not bad at all. I know it's hard to imagine how the scar is going to look when it's still so raw and new but here it is eleven months afterwards." Paul said pulling his shirt open a little to reveal just a thin line down the young man's chest where the heart surgery had taken place.

"Does it ... still hurt?" Steve found himself asking, averting his eyes from the scar purposefully.

"I'm not going to lie to you. I still get an odd twinge especially from the ribs but it's getting better all the time."

Steve found some small comfort in Paul's words.

Susan's voice joined the conversation again, a touch of anxiety in her tone.

"Paul, Steve was a Police Officer. He was shot ... in the heart while on duty. He's FOUR weeks over his operation."

Steve didn't even notice the emphasis she put on the "four " part of the sentence as he tried to process all these new revelations with a decreasing thought capacity thanks to the morphine that was rapidly slowing him down but Paul caught the meaning and nodded understandingly in her direction before turning to address Steve again.

"Whoa! That's crazy. I can sympathize though except with me it wasn't a bullet, it was a bolt ..."

"A BOLT?" Steve asked incredulously.

"Yeah, crazy huh? I worked for a car manufacturer on an assembly line. One of the machines malfunctioned and starting throwing bolts. One got me right in the chest puncturing my heart.. My Line Manager knew first aid and was able to control the bleeding until the paramedics arrived. It was touch and go but Dr. Lowell patched me up good as new. Are you under Dr. Lowell, Steve?"

"Yeah ..."

"So is Susan. He's the best there is, Man. "

Steve was still processing the whole horrific story when Paul sat on the end of Susan's bed and spoke once more to Steve sympathetically.

"Four weeks is tough. I should know. When I hit four weeks, my life fell apart."

Steve felt another debilitating wave of lightheadedness wash over him but while what coherency he had left was screaming at him to get someone to alert Rita to his predicament, the rest of him badly needed to hear the rest of Paul's story so he took a deep breath and shook his head to clear it for now while he spoke in a shaky voice.

"It did?"

"Yeah, I mean before the accident, I had a good job you know and I had a girlfriend I was crazy about and then this happened and everything just fell apart. I mean I couldn't work and at four weeks my girlfriend just dumped me. She said she couldn't handle the scar. That it was " horrific". I was gutted. My heart had been ripped out in more ways than one. You know what I'm saying Steve?"

Steve felt as if his heart was now hammering in his chest and he could feel the blood pounding in his ears as his worst fears were being sounded out by Paul. He swallowed back down the lump he felt suddenly manifest in his throat.

"She ... dumped you? Just because of the scar?"

"Yeah Man. Like a hot potato. I really thought she was the one too, you know? I hit rock bottom Steve. I kept thinking how maybe it would have been better if I had died in the accident. I mean that's how low I got, you know?"

Steve knew only too well. He had had similar dark thoughts over the last grueling week and had cursed the fact that Ross hadn't fired the second shot on more than one occasion despite the overriding guilt and upset he frequently felt afterwards just for thinking it. His head was feeling lighter by the minute but he desperately needed to know how Paul had gotten through those dark times so he questioned him further.

"How? ... How did you recover from that?"

"I wouldn't have only for Rita."

"Rita?"

"Yeah. She was my nurse and she saw how low I was. She introduced me to the Heart Clinic support group. I didn't want to go at first but she finally convinced me. You see I had all these questions about what the months ahead held and I had no answers. I got those answers from the group and ... and that's where I met Susan."

Paul paused briefly and glanced up at Susan and Steve saw the mutual love clearly visible in the tender look they shared. Smiling at each other, Paul reached out and grasped her hand.

"She was my angel and when she was at my side I knew I could do anything. And next year we're planning on getting married and she's going to make me the happiest man on this earth."

Steve whipped his head around to look at where Susan was smiling at Paul and was heartened by their happy ending.

"That's great news ... Congratulations to you both ..." Steve stammered in as happy a voice as he could muster, grabbing the arm of the wheelchair at the same time as a stronger dizzy spell hit and made him feel unsteady even though he was seated.

He heard Paul address him again and tried to hide his discomfort as he forced himself to listen.

"Next thing I knew I got a hefty insurance payout from my employer for the accident and life was cool again. You know it's funny but if you asked me now I'd say that my accident was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. That other girlfriend wasn't the one. She didn't care for me and I hated that old job. Now I work in a library. Can you dig that? I mean I love books. I always have. Now I've got the perfect job and the perfect person in my life all because of what happened to me. I've become a firm believer that things in this life happen for a reason Steve. Are you going back to the Police Force?"

Steve took another deep steadying breath before answering.

"NO ... no ... I'm ah ... going to try teaching instead. Criminology ... at Berkeley."

"Far out Man. See! It's all good. You just have to hang in there and ride it out. It gets better around six weeks and in the meantime you should consider the Clinic. They can answer any questions you might have."

"He's right Steve. Everyone there is very supportive and you don't have to go alone or even all the time. You can come and go as you need to and you can bring a friend or relative with you if you prefer. Me and Paul still help out there from time to time as Volunteers. We feel we're giving back a little after all they did for us. "

Paul took a small business card from his pocket and reaching out he pushed it into the outer pocket of Steve's dressing gown.

"That's a card for the Clinic. It's a real life saver Steve. Think about it."

Steve nodded his thanks but was prevented from speaking as a particularly bad wave of lightheadedness hit and he suddenly felt instantly very weak. The noises and sudden raised voices around him sounded all of a sudden like they were echoing from another room and his head dropped forward onto his chest as the blackness threatened to engulf him. Susan watched with concern as Steve's demeanor changed in a heartbeat. His eyes rolled and then his head dropped alarmingly onto his chest. She called out for Paul to quickly get Rita and then as he left in a hurry, she moved herself carefully forwards a little in the bed so that she could grasp Steve's hand. It was shaking and she clasped it tighter and spoke to him loudly.

"STEVE? Steve talk to me. Steve PLEASE? Hold on ... Paul's getting Rita ...Just please hold on ... "

 **Outside Room Five : One hour earlier : 7pm**

Jeannie exited Steve's room almost in a daze a few steps ahead of Mike. She couldn't quite believe how quickly the row with her Father had escalated or even why she had allowed it to. It was as if her words had taken on a life of their own and old memories and long buried feelings had been resurrected and had demanded to be addressed. Shamefully she had almost ceased to realize where she was as the row had continued and cheap points had been scored at each others expense. She remembered the deep and distressing sight of Steve as the nurse had entered and drawn their attention to him and seeing a chair a little way down the corridor she stumbled towards it and practically slumped into it, the upset finally bubbling over as the tears rolled down her cheeks and her breathing became ragged with aching sobs.

Mike exited a few moments behind her and not seeing her outside Steve's door, he quickly looked around and seeing her he rushed towards her, his heart breaking further at the fact that the two people in his life that mattered the most were currently so upset and inconsolable. Reaching her he placed a strong fatherly arm around her shoulders and ignoring the sore muscles that were still acting up around his sore knee he dropped to his haunches to look up into his daughter's face.

"JEANNIE? Sweetheart it's ok. Please don't cry. Everything will be alright ..."

Before he could say anything else, Jeannie turned and buried her face into his right shoulder, her arms coming up to hug him tightly around the upper body as she spoke between sobs.

"Oh Daddy ... I'm so sorry for all those horrible things I said to you. I don't know what came over me ... I ... I was just afraid that you'd send me back and ... And I just want to be here with you both. I NEED to be here Daddy. I can't bear to be so far away from home right now with all this going on ... Please forgive me ..."

Mike's heart broke in two at her words. He could hear the deep worry and upset in her voice and realized in that moment how difficult it had been for her to return to Arizona a week ago and suddenly knew why she had needed to return so badly. He hadn't considered all the facts and now felt even worse for his part in the argument. Hugging her back even tighter he found it hard to form the words he needed to say. Swallowing back the guilt and sorrow he felt, he took a deep breath and stroking Jeannie's hair like he used to do when she was a little girl and came to him upset, he whispered softly.

"There, there sweetheart. It's ok. I was every bit as much to blame for that argument as you were, maybe even more so. I guess I hadn't stopped to think about how hard it was for you to be so far from home during all this mess. There's nothing to forgive but we do need to talk Jeannie. Things came up in that row that well ... We've never fully addressed ... Have we? Especially about ... your Mother and what happened then ... "

Jeannie lifted her head from Mike's shoulder and looked her Father in the eyes. Her eyes were red and puffy from the upset and she was breathing heavily.

"Daddy I ... I shouldn't have brought that up ..."

"NO, no I'm glad you did Jean. That talk is long overdue ... And I think that now is as good a time as any for it ... "

He looked lovingly at the tear stained face of his beloved daughter. She was getting more like Helen all the time and he smiled at the pride he felt for his only little girl. He reached up with both hands and wiped the tears that were still wetting her cheeks and smiled as a long forgotten memory returned and he repeated it word for word as it came back to him.

"Dry those tears ... Wipe them away ... "

Before he could finish, Jeannie looked at him and as the memory returned vividly to her too, she smiled and finished it for him.

" ... Bring back the smile that lights up my day ... Oh Daddy, you used to say that to me when I was a little girl whenever you saw me crying ..."

"You remember."

"Of course I remember ... It always worked ..."

"Do you remember what I'd do then?"

Jeannie smiled even wider, a low chuckle escaping subconsciously as she recalled those special and fond memories.

"Yes ... You'd do magic to make me forget why I was sad in the first place ... and then when I'd stopped crying we'd talk ..."

Mike grinned and then releasing her briefly he made a few slight hand movements and a coin seemed to appear as if by magic into his previously empty hand. Jeannie laughed and then watched as after another couple of quick and cleverly disguised moves he made a handkerchief appear magically from his fist. Handing it to her, she giggled again. Still sniffing between her giggles, she took the handkerchief he now offered and wiped at her tear stained face and her nose.

"Those two tricks were my favorite ones ..."

"I know ... " he admitted as he returned his arm around her shoulders.

Looking up lovingly at her Father, her face darkened again momentarily as her gaze crept sideways over Mike's arm to stare back up the corridor at the now closed door to Room five.

"I wish you could use your magic to make Steve all better Daddy ..."

Those words hit a chord with the older man and his face saddened along with Jeannie's.

"Honey, you have no idea how much I wish I could too ... Come on ... You've been on that bus all day and you probably haven't even eaten yet have you? "

"I brought snacks for the journey ..."

"Snacks huh? But no dinner?"

Jeannie shook her head.

"I don't think I'm very hungry ..."

"Let's go somewhere nice and we'll talk and maybe ... Well you might change your mind about eating. What do you say? Will you humor your stubborn old man, huh?"

Jeannie smiled and cupped his cheek.

"I guess I inherited that stubborn streak from you, huh?... Two Stones head to head is never a pleasant prospect, huh?"

Mike laughed.

"NO! I think the world is a safer place when we're both on the same side. What do you think?"

Jeannie laughed and nodded her head at his observation.

"Ok ... But Daddy. What about Steve? He was so upset. We really hurt him by arguing like that in front of him. What must he be thinking?"

Mike looked guilty and remorseful all at the same time.

"I know. We owe the boy one hell of an apology but ... well if we go barging back in there now we might only make things worse. He needs to calm down himself and Rita will look after him. I trust her Honey. She's an excellent nurse and a very warm and compassionate human being. He's in the best hands for now. After we've talked and cleared the air, we'll come back here and make it up to him, alright?"

Jeannie seemed happier after hearing his words. She knew he was right. The row was still too recent and raw to heal the hurt they had caused. Perhaps it was better to leave it for now and do as Mike said. She wasn't looking forward to their talk as she feared what would come of it but he was right about that too. It was something they should have discussed in greater detail a long time ago. Instead they had tiptoed around the hurt and the result of that was the overflowing build up of hurt that had just erupted from nowhere. She smiled at her Father as she stood up and seeing him wince as he tried to stand back up too, she helped pull him back upright. As concern came into her voice, she questioned him protectively.

"Daddy? Is your knee acting up again?"

"Oh no! It's alright. I ... I just tweaked it a little when Steve fell ..."

Seeing Jeannie's jaw drop, he remembered too late that Jeannie hadn't been aware of that incident and stopped mid-sentence.

"When Steve FELL? ..."

Knowing that Jeannie was getting wound up again this time out of concern he smiled and took her hand in his.

"Hey, hey calm down now. I promise I'll tell you ALL about it over dinner. But for now, let's just start with the formalities that we missed back there so shamefully. Huh?"

Jeannie's face softened and her hand tightened around her Father's as they began to walk slowly together towards the double doors of CCU.

"Formalities?" she asked out of curiosity.

Mike smiled his widest smile as he planted a surprise kiss on her cheek as they walked.

"Yes ... Welcome home Jeannie ... Your old Dad's really missed you ..."

Tears sprang forward again into Jeannie's eyes as she leaned in closer to her Father as they walked and she spoke emotionally.

"Thanks Daddy ... I've really missed you too ..."

Opening the doors, Mike allowed Jeannie to exit first before he cast one last, long and sorrowful look back at Room Five and made a silent wish that Steve would be ok until they got back.

They walked hand in hand to the elevators in silence, glad of the comfortable invisible bond that still held them together despite the hurtful words they had just exchanged. When all else in life failed them, they had always had each other and they both knew that wasn't going to change anytime soon. Sure there were issues that needed to be discussed but both Mike and Jeannie knew those issues weren't irreconcilable and that they would emerge from their talk, hopefully stronger and more united and in a better and stronger position to help Steve through his recovery. Suddenly, feeling more hopeful than he had in recent days, Mike found a new spring to his step. As they exited the elevator on the ground floor and Jeannie veered towards the Hospital Cafeteria doors, Mike steered her back towards the main doors of the Hospital.

"Oh no! Not in there. I'm going to take my little girl to Mama's. Only the best for the best. "

Jeannie smiled and wrapped her arm around Mike's waist and together in companionable silence they made their way out into the evening air and under the glow of the San Francisco sunset they made their way towards the car. As they arrived at the car which was parked a little ways up the street, Jeannie stopped at the passenger side and looked back up at Franklin Hospital briefly while Mike went around the front and unlocked the car from the driver's side. Wondering which window was Steve's, Mike looked across the roof at her and sadly glanced in the same direction, knowing exactly what she was thinking about. Speaking softly but loud enough to attract her attention , he spoke reassuringly.

"He's going to be ok Jeannie. After all ... now that he has two Stones back in his corner, what chance does adversity have, huh?"

Smiling back across at him, she answered with more strength and conviction in her voice.

"None whatsoever Daddy ..."

Slapping the roof triumphantly, Mike then sat into the car followed by Jeannie and together they drove off into the evening flow of traffic.

 **A/N : Huge thanks as always to all those following and still sticking with this story. It is speeding to its conclusion with just a few chapters now left and we are nearing the end. Thanks for your patience and your feedback. My sincere gratitude is yours. I shall be sorry to see this end but all good things must... Thanks for sharing the journey with me. It has been a fun ride to explore what happened to them in detail after Thrill killers and a story I am glad I took a chance on :-)**


	26. Chapter 26

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 26

Susan felt Steve grip her hand back weakly and knew that he hadn't totally succumbed to the power of the pain killing drug just yet but knew it wasn't far off. She knew only too well the horrible feeling as the morphine kicked in and knew that he would be much better off lying down right about now instead of being precariously seated in a wheelchair. His head was still hung low and she lifted his chin to try and see if he could look at her. His eyes were closed and his face was frighteningly, ghostly white. With her other hand now cupping his cheek as it lay sideways in the palm of her hand she spoke in anguish.

"Steve? STEVE? Can you open your eyes for me?"

There was no flicker from his eyelids except a slurred word that remained incoherent as it left his lips. She felt her eyes tear up as she felt the grip on her hand loosen.

"STEVE, NO! No Steve, you have to fight it. Come on, stay awake now ..."

His grip tightened again on her hand a little as he startled from her yell and she took courage from his weak response but his head still lay motionless on her hand and his eyes were still firmly closed . Before she could cajole him any further, the door burst open and Rita came running in wth Paul, hot on her heels. She came rushing over to where Steve's chair was and knelt down in front of him and quickly assessed him.

"RITA, HELP! ... He's not responding to me."

Hearing the anxiety in Susan's voice, she knew her duty was to both of them. Firstly she had to calm Susan down as she heard her heart monitor pick up behind her. Clasping her arm and turning to look at her, she spoke to Susan in a strong and firm voice.

"Susan, he's just feeling a bit faint that's all. He's going to be alright. His pain meds are kicking in and he hasn't been eating too well so we just need to get him back to his room and lying down. Don't get worked up. Everything's going to be fine, ok?"

Susan heard the sense in Rita's words and nodded, attempting to get her frayed nerves and her breathing back under control after Steve's alarming and sudden slump. Paul had come around behind her and had his arm around her shoulders now, comforting her and his touch was exactly what she needed as she leaned back against his strong shoulder and watched Rita deal with Steve.

Rita lifted Steve's head now and lifted his eyelids, one by one. Then gently dropping his head back down and turning behind her, she grabbed a cloth from the locker and doused it with some cold water from the jug. Returning around to her patient, she wiped his face with the cool, wet cloth and then placed it firmly on the nape of his neck, which caused a sudden jolt of his head as the cold touch brought him back ever so slightly from the brink of unconsciousness. His head wobbled weakly, the strength to even hold it up proving to be too much for him and while his eyes opened, his vision was fuzzy at best. He could just about make out Rita's face in front of him but making his voice work was proving even more difficult. He felt strangely disconnected from the scene in front of him and knew the dizziness was not far away. It was a sensation of lost control that instilled panic deep inside him and he finally managed to gasp out one word.

"Ri ...ta ..."

"Ok, dear it's alright. You've just had a little fainting spell. We need to get you back to your room, ok?"

Steve merely nodded weakly, desperately trying to keep himself from flaking again. Rita noticed his struggle and quickly turning once more she filled a glass of cold water and held it to his lips.

"Here Steve. Try to drink a little of this for me please."

She lifted the glass but more cascaded back out of his mouth than went down his throat as he struggled to obey her request. Trying one more time she spoke firmly, as she lifted the glass a second time.

"Steve, this will help. Please try to drink some."

This time he managed to swallow a few times successfully and felt the cool, refreshing liquid slowly go down his throat and bring him around a little better. His brain still felt like a melted mess but he didn't feel quite as faint. Turning his head sideways he saw Susan looked distressed, being comforted by Paul and felt himself blush as he realized that he was to blame for the upset that had been caused. Now desperately feeling the need to get back to his room he struggled to speak again as he felt Rita checking his pulse and his pupil dilation.

"Rita ... I wanna ... go back ..."

Rita had seen the distressing look he had given Susan and Paul and also the red colour that had risen in his previous ghostly white cheeks and knew he was feeling both awkward and uncomfortable in his current situation. Feeling by her checks that while he was now displaying signs of being strongly under the effects of the Morphine, the dizziness had seemed to ease enough that she could transport him safely back to his room, she acted quickly.

Rising to her feet, she went around to the back of the wheelchair and grabbed the handles before turning to Susan and Paul.

"Susan, he will be fine, don't worry. We just need to get him back lying down. Paul could you open the door for me please?"

Paul left his place at Susan's side and hurried to open the door for them. Steve had his left elbow on the armrest and his head bent low resting in his left hand, his eyes closed.

"Take it easy Steve ..." Paul said as they left the room past him and Rita smiled at him warmly.

Back out in the corridor, Rita watched the back of Steve's head anxiously as he remained very quiet and unresponsive, as she pushed him quickly back towards Room five and called out to Anne.

"Anne, get Kevin. I'm going to need his help."

She saw Anne hurry off to find the Male nursing assistant as Rita got him wheeled successfully back into his room. Pushing him up beside the bed she quickly came around to check on him.

"Steve honey? Are you still with me?"

To her relief, his eyes flickered open and he nodded but he seemed concerned.

"Rita ... I don't think ... I can get back into bed. I ... I feel very weak ..."

His words were slurred and tinged with a mixture of embarrassment and angst.

"That's ok Steve. We're going to get you some help. You just sit tight."

His head slumped again momentarily as the Morphine caused another wave of unsteadiness to wash over him. Rita clasped his face gently and spoke reassuringly.

"Alright Steve. Just hold on ..."

The door opened and Kevin came rushing in. After careful instructions from Rita, he lifted Steve with relative ease from the wheelchair due to his stocky build and placed Steve back onto the bed. It felt good to be lying down again and Steve couldn't help the audible gasp of relief that escaped his lips as he felt the cool, comforting mattress now beneath him. The Morphine now firmly established through his system meant he felt no pain whatsoever, just an awful heady sensation of weightlessness and lack of control over his thoughts and his words.

Resting his eyes, he felt Rita pulling the dressing gown off his shoulder,down his left arm and out from under him and his slippers being removed. He then felt her fingers working on connecting the electrodes back onto his chest and heard the familiar slow beeping from the monitor as it sprang back to life, its sound while at other times a source of irritation, now strangely comforting to his ears. He felt sleep pull at him, dragging him away from the sounds around him but he fought against it. There was something he had to tell Rita. Something ... But he was struggling to remember what it was ... He forced his brain to work which was not an easy task and Mike and Jeannie came vividly back to his mind for mere seconds. The argument ... That was it. He forced his tired eyes back open and struggled to keep them that way. He watched as Rita was covering him with the covers and forced his left hand to weakly reach out and touch her arm. She had assumed he was asleep and his touch surprised her.

"Rita? ... Mike ... Jeannie ..."

She could hear the strain in his voice as he fought against the strong effects of the Morphine and saddened knowing that the argument was still bothering him even in his current confused and weakened state. Grabbing his hand, she leaned over and stroked his forehead soothingly.

"Steve, they're not back yet. But it's only been an hour. I'm sure they'll be back very soon. You need to rest now, ok?"

"No ... Need ... need to ... tell them ..."

Rita frowned and tried to console him further.

"Steve anything you need to tell them can wait until you're feeling more lucid ok? Please don't worry about them. You've got to rest now ... You can talk to them later when they get back.

Steve shook his head weakly in frustration. _Why couldn't people just understand?_ The Morphine haze continued to gain momentum and it was getting harder to concentrate on what he was trying to say.

"No ... Won't be ... able to then ... need to say sorry ... "

"Steve you have nothing to be sorry for. Now please calm down. "

Steve's weak grip on her hand tightened suddenly as if he was channeling the last burst of energy he had left.

"Will you tell them ... for me? ..."

"Steve ..."

"PLEASE ..."

The force and the heartfelt tone of his request took Rita by surprise and she knew in that moment that he wasn't going to rest until she agreed. Cupping his cheek, she nodded her head and smiled warmly trying to put him at ease.

"Ok, I'll tell them for you."

"You ... promise?..." he stammered as his energy depleted and his grip loosened again.

"Yes ... Yes I promise but only on condition that you rest now, ok? Close those eyes for me and stop fighting the drugs. They're supposed to help you get some rest so let them do their job."

Steve stared at her for several more unnerving seconds before he admitted hopelessly.

"I hate ... feeling like this ... "

"I know ... I know Steve. I'll talk to Dr. Lowell when he gets here about reducing the doses but right now you just have to get some sleep. Come on now. Do as I say."

Steve didn't have much choice but to obey as his futile attempt to fight it petered out and he found his eyes closing against his will. Rita stayed with him stroking his cheek as she watched him succumb to the drug and go under slowly as his breathing slowed to a steady, even rhythm and the heart monitor kept a slow steady pace in the background. When she felt he was truly asleep, she let go of his hand and settled the covers back up around him and stood watching him. The door opened and Rita didn't even look up as a gentle hand touched her shoulder. Looking over her shoulder she saw Anne standing there and heard her question.

"Rita? Are you ok? Has he finally settled?"

"Yes ... He's well under now. I ... I just hope I didn't push him too soon. Maybe ... maybe he wasn't ready yet?"

Anne smiled and nudged her colleague.

"Rita listen to yourself. You know your patients better than any of us and you've yet to call it wrong in all the time I've known you. Don't start doubting yourself now. If you thought he was ready to take the next step then he WAS. You'll see. Come on. It's quiet out there at the moment. I think you need a coffee after that, my treat."

Rita smiled and nodded, hoping her dear friend was right. Either way she did her final checks on Steve and satisfied that he was ok, she followed Anne wearily back to the nurse's station.

 **Mama's: 8:10pm**

Mike and Jeannie were seated at their usual table. They hadn't spoken much on the drive here as there was still a slight cloud hanging over them after their earlier argument and their combined worry for Steve was the other elephant in the room. The waiter came forward and with a wide, welcoming smile handed them both a menu.

"Ah good evening Mike. We haven't seen you for a while. And Jeannie such a pleasure to see you too. You are home from college I see."

On hearing the waiter's words Jeannie threw a strange and lingering look at her Father and then smiled back at the waiter.

"Yes Pedro. For how long exactly remains to be seen."

Mike scowled slightly at her answer and quickly cleared his throat and spoke again to dispel any lingering resentment.

"I haven't been around much lately Pedro ... Things have been ... well difficult." he explained choosing his words carefully.

Pedro's face saddened slightly and he asked anxiously.

"Ah yes! I heard about Steve. How is ... he?"

"Oh he's coming along. It's ... well it's a slow thing to recover from. He's lost a lot of weight which he could ill afford too ... so I'm gonna have to bring him here a lot when he's feeling a little better so that Mama's delicious cooking can fatten him up again for me." he said lightheartedly as he watched his daughter's face sadden as she stared blankly at her menu.

"Oh I'm glad to hear he's doing better and we would be happy to see him. You will tell him we were asking for him?"

"Oh yes ... Of course I will, thanks. "

"Do you need a few minutes to choose something or shall I take your order now?"

Seeing Jeannie's distracted look, Mike smiled again politely and answered his question.

"Just give us a minute or two will you please?"

"Certainly ..."

Pedro hurried off, called by another customer and Mike continued to study Jeannie.

She seemed to be lost in her thoughts and then she looked sadly at the space in the booth between them and Mike figured out what was bothering her. He reached across the table and placed his hand over hers.

"I know ... I was thinking the same. The last time we were here, Steve was with us. It was your birthday lunch, wasn't it?"

Jeannie nodded glumly and Mike swore he saw tears welling up in her eyes.

"Oh come on now. It won't be long now before he'll be sitting there again."

Jeannie weakly smiled at him but he wasn't convinced that the smile went any further than her eyes.

"He always picks the Mama Burger or the Chicken Caesar salad when he's here..."

Mike looked equally as nostalgic.

"Yes, I know. Or for lunch he always used to pick the Grilled Chicken sandwich. Although we haven't been here a lot lately. Even before the shooting we tended to just get Tony's pizzas and eat them in Bryant Street while we poured over the case files in my office."

Mike's voice was tinged with an audible regret and Jeannie spoke to dispel it as best she could.

"I thought he hated Tony's pizza. Didn't he always say they were ..."

"... Cold and soggy. Yes that's right." Mike said absentmindedly chuckling as he remembered the constant moans that would exude from Steve when he would even suggest getting Tony's pizza for dinner.

"He always said that they should pay ME for eating them ..." he continued, chuckling again.

"Oh and what did he always insist you order them without again?"

"No anchovies! " Mike replied smiling. "He really hates those things with a passion. And broccoli! Oh boy never give the boy broccoli ... "

"Broccoli?" Jeannie piped up in interest, her tears on hold as she listened.

"What? You didn't know he hated broccoli?"

Jeannie shook her head and found herself trying to remember if she had ever offered him broccoli anytime he had been at De Haro Street and couldn't recall any so she pressed on regardless.

"Well whatever does he have against broccoli?"

Mike chuckled warmly and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know exactly. He never told me but he grumbled one time something about his Aunt. She must have festered him with it like the time your Mother got a thing for cooking parsnips. She served them up so much you told her you never wanted to see them again."

"I don't remember that!" Jeannie pouted indignantly and Mike chuckled again.

"Well you were only six at the time but you still don't like them to this day. Well do you?"

Jeannie smiled.

"No ... I always wondered why I hated them so much."

They both chuckled again, lightly breaking another layer of ice as Mike launched into another memory.

"You know they served Steve broccoli one time here in a quiche. You should have seen his face. You know I think he went about forty different shades of green when he saw it. " Mike chuckled a little at the memory before continuing. "I told him to just send it back but you know Steve. He was too polite for that so he spent about ten minutes picking each piece out onto his side plate like they were nuclear particles! It was the funniest thing ever. I swear I laughed so much that night my sides were sore ..."

Jeannie laughed and then saw Mike's smile fade a little too quickly. Feeling it was her turn to reach out, she covered his hand this time.

"I guess you get to know a lot about someone when they're your partner, huh?"

"Yes ... Yes you sure do."

"You miss him as your partner don't you?"

"Of course I do. Look Jeannie about Dan ... "

Before he could continue Pedro arrived back with a notepad and pen.

"Are you both ready to order?"

Annoyed by the untimely interruption but knowing it wasn't the waiter's fault he swallowed hard and forced a smile at the waiter before picking up the menu and looking it up and down .

"I'll have the Smoked Salmon Omelette please with a side of Mama's grilled potatoes please."

"A good choice and Jeannie?"

Jeannie dry swallowed as she heard the dish he chose. That omelette had always been her Mother's favorite and she hadn't seen him eating it since she died. She wondered if their argument had had a bad effect on him and if it had caused his unusual choice and taking a deep steadying breath she answered, closing the menu as she did.

"I'll have the same please."

Mike looked up at her curiously as Pedro left with their orders.

"You don't normally choose that dish? " he questioned.

"Neither do you ..."

Mike flustered a little .

"Actually I do sometimes ... here ... with Steve ... I don't choose it when you're with me normally in case ... well in case it ... upsets you."

Jeannie's eyes fell to her lap.

"Because ... because it was Mom's favorite?"

Mike nodded.

"I like eating it because it reminds me of her. "

Jeannie looked back at her Father.

"Me too ..."

Mike's jaw dropped a little.

"What? You eat it when you're not with me too?"

Jeannie half smiled.

"Yes, I never order it with you for the same reason. "

Mike's shocked expression soon manifested into a smile.

"Well I'll be damned! All this time. Would you credit that? I ... I guess there's lots of things we haven't talked about where your Mother is concerned, huh?"

Again Jeannie nodded.

"Daddy? Why did you push me away when she died?"

"Now hold on a second. I never pushed you away ... I just left you with your Aunt Jessica for a few days that's all ... It ... well it was difficult Jean. Her last few days weren't very pleasant and ... and the night she finally passed I felt like ... well that a part of me went with her. I just needed a few days to mourn her and get myself back on track so to speak before I came and collected you."

"You hardly called. I was worried about you."

"I CALLED every night and ... and ... and you're right. Maybe I should have collected you sooner or called you more often. It's just that at the time I was hardly fit to look after myself let alone a child. Look I know you wanted to be here with me but it wasn't the place for you Jeannie. I was spending every waking hour in the Hospital with Helen and ... and in those last days she was very sick and barely awake and ..."

Mike voice broke and he stopped talking as he rubbed a hand across his face. Jeannie squeezed his hand and spoke through her own tear filled eyes.

"Was it really bad Daddy? "

The upward glance that Mike gave her shook her to the core as she saw the tortuous look that she could clearly see in their striking blue depths. It was a torment that she felt had permanently scarred him after her Mother's death.

"I just wanted to be with her too Daddy. To spend whatever time we had left with her and to tell her I loved her."

I brought you to see her the day before you left for Sacramento to your Aunt Jessica's house." Mike said indignantly.

"But I didn't want to go away Daddy. I wanted to stay with you. Nobody gave me the choice."

Mike looked up and saw the long burning regret and annoyance in his daughter's eyes and wondered if he should tell her the truth. Deciding that not telling her the truth had caused this mess in the first place he finally decided that honesty was the best way to go. Reaching once more across the table and grasping both her hands, he spoke anxiously.

"Sweetheart. Your ... Mom made that decision. She ... she wanted you to remember her as she was. That was the last day she was even capable of long conversation. After that time ... well it was all downhill."

Jeannie gasped as she heard the truth. She stuttered in a distressful tone.

"Mom? ... Mom sent me away?"

"Oh Honey, Don't make it sound like that. She didn't send you away. She was sparing you the pain of seeing her die and she knew her sister Jessica would look after you. Your Mom adored you so much Jean. She couldn't bear the thought of you witnessing what I did and having to live with those memories for the rest of your life. It was what she wanted. "

That revelation changed everything. All those years she had resented her Father for sending her away at that time but all along it had been her Mother's wish for her to go. Mike saw the confused look and couldn't quite read how she was taking that news but felt he had to dispel any confusion.

"Honey, don't blame her for that. I agreed with her and ... and I'm glad you weren't there for those final days Jeannie. Towards the end it was as if I'd lost her already but just her body hadn't quite followed. "

Jeannie looked at her Father and saw the deep pain in his eyes that were now visibly filled with tears. He had held those memories inside and to himself for long enough.

"Daddy ... Will you tell me about that time?"

Mike startled slightly at her request. He had never spoken of that time, not even to Steve and he wasn't sure he even could. He grabbed the water jug on the table and poured two glasses with a shaky hand, before picking his up and taking a long drink from it to soothe his dry throat before answering.

"Jeannie I ... I'm not sure if I ..."

His daughter's hand grasped his and she spoke sympathetically.

"I know it's hard Daddy and I understand why Mom and you wanted to spare me the pain of it but I'm older now and I want to know so I can understand what you went through. Will you please try?"

Mike swallowed hard and took another nervous drink from his glass.

"Ok ... She didn't talk much in the days that followed and ... as the pain got worse she ... she was given stronger drugs and they kept her out of it most of the time ... I just sat there and held her hand and the silence ... That silence was the worst thing ever. I talked to her ... Babbled mostly about this and that and pointless, useless things. Memories we shared and times we'd laughed and ... then one night she opened her eyes and she looked at me ... She didn't say anything. I don't think she was able to. I ... told her ... I loved her more than anything in the world and she ... she winked at me and for just ...well just for a second it felt like ... she was there with me like always and I winked back. Then her eyes closed and that was the last time she ever ... she ever opened them."

Jeannie listened to her father's tortuous account and watched as the tears free flowed down his cheeks and she felt some of her own fall in sympathy with him. She squeezed his hand and reached out to rub the tears from his cheeks with her other hand.

"Oh Daddy. That must have been awful. Have you ever told anyone before about that?"

Mike shook his head sadly and then reached into his jacket pocket to find the handkerchief Jeannie had returned to him earlier and finding it he wiped at his eyes before clearing his throat and answering.

"It was and it's something you never forget. I mean you get through each day and it doesn't always come to mind but sometimes something just triggers it and then you relive it all over again. And it brings back all the bad memories and the feelings you had. Jean ... That day in ICU with Steve when he opened his eyes for the first time after the operation. Do you remember?"

Jeannie thought back to that day which was still very vivid in her mind and she suddenly gasped.

"He winked at you ..."

Mike nodded solemnly.

"Yes ... That's what brought Helen's death back to me and I felt like I was suffocating. I thought I was going to lose him too and I couldn't bear to go through that again. It really terrified me Jeannie. You know that Steve's become more like a son to me and I couldn't go through that pain again. I'm sorry Honey ... You don't know just how sorry I am for acting like I did ... But I ... I couldn't help it ..."

"Oh Daddy ... Now I understand ... But I wish you'd told me that sooner. Steve was so lost without you those days. He asked about you all the time and I ... I didn't know what to tell him. I couldn't understand what was going through your head or why you wouldn't visit him. "

"I know. I see that now but at the time I just needed to deal with things in my own way and ... I knew you were taking the best care of him so I did what I felt was the best thing I could do at the time. Which was to catch Ross and the others and I thought if I could get justice for what happened that ...it would make me feel less hopeless and useless but ... but it didn't. Even after I slapped the cuffs on her I just felt worse that I'd let you both down and so I withdrew more out of shame and regret. I was going to make it up to him this weekend but when I came home on Friday evening he was waiting outside the house. At first I wasn't even sure what to say to him ... But once we started talking it was just like ... well like it always was and we cleared the air and I made him a promise that I wouldn't let him down again and I intend to keep that promise."

Jeannie smiled warmly at her Father just as Mama herself arrived with their dishes in her hands. Mike startled at her arrival and cleared his throat and rubbed at his eyes to remove any trace of upset that remained after their difficult conversation.

"Two of my special Smoked Salmon Omelettes for two of my favorite customers" she announced warmly placing them down in front of Mike and Jeannie.

"Thanks Mama. Hmmmm ... Smells good. " Mike replied forcing a smile to form.

Noticing that Mike looked a little tired, Mama placed a gentle hand on his shoulder as she asked tentatively.

"How is Steve, Mike?"

Mike patted the hand that lay on his shoulder.

"He's doing ok but he's got a long road ahead of him."

Mama's eyes saddened.

"Such a terrible thing to happen. Steve is such a lovely, polite young man. You must send him my best wishes Mike. You can tell him that when he is up to coming in again his meal will be on the house!"

"I will Mama. Thank you."

Mama smiled at them while Pedro followed with their side orders and then left them alone again. Mike picked up his fork and knife and proceeded to cut his food in silence, his appetite having waned a little due to the difficult previous topic of conversation.

"I'm sorry to have dragged it up for you again Daddy but I'm glad you finally shared it with me at the same time. Let's eat now ok?"

Mike nodded and clasped her hand briefly as they both then began to eat in silence. Jeannie suddenly shifted sideways along the seat until she was right beside her Father instead of across from him. She then moved her plate and her cutlery while Mike watched her curiously.

"That's better. " she announced happily. "More like at home, huh?"

Mike smiled a genuine smile as he felt the gap between then had been repaired in more ways than one. He didn't reply but she could tell from his warm smile that he was feeling better and they both tucked in heartily, realizing how hungry they were as they did.

 **A/N: I researched Mama's as best I could in order to make this chapter realistic but I think from my research it looks like Mama's was never open in the evening time however in order for it to fit into my story and timeline I had to allow this to be possible ... Please forgive my poetic license on this occasion.**

 **Also in answer to my guest reviewer Helene, I will return to my unfinished stories on completion of this one. :-)**


	27. Chapter 27

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 27

Their meal passed amicably as Mike filled Jeannie in on everything that had happened over the weekend with Steve between mouthfuls.

"He got out of bed because he wanted to leave the Hospital by HIMSELF?" Jeannie asked, the worry and concern in her voice palpable.

"Yes and in the process he even managed to fool your old man and THAT as you know is NOT an easy thing to do ..." Mike chuckled.

Jeannie chuckled in response.

"Don't I know it ..." but her laughter didn't last long as she thought of the torment Steve must have been in to even consider such a foolhardy move in the first place.

"But Daddy ... What must he have been thinking to even chance that? Thank God you caught him. "

Mike nodded and laid down his fork momentarily, his face darkening at her question.

"He was hurting alright! And not just physically ..."

Jeannie also downed her fork and felt her emotions unraveling again as she remembered how upset Steve had looked as they had left him earlier.

"Oh Daddy ... We really blew it this evening with him didn't we? I mean we broke his confidence more than once. I mean ... I told you about his constant vomiting after he left the Hospital and you told me about him sleeping in the chair and then ... All the arguing and ... and we dismissed him every time he tried to stop us."

Mike looked up and met her eyes and she saw the same torment in his clear blue eyes that mirrored her own sense of remorse and shame over the whole regrettable incident.

"I know ... It wasn't one of our finer moments, that's for sure. As to the confidences we broke ... well ... he shouldn't have felt the need to keep those things from us in the first place. I think he'll see that it's probably better that we both know now exactly what he's been going through but the arguing well ... that's another matter entirely. We shouldn't have subjected him to that. Not in his current fragile state and you're right. We really told him in no uncertain terms to stay out of it, didn't we? I ... I even told him ... he'd caused enough trouble for one day ... I really don't even know what made me say it, but I was very wrong. Don't worry. We'll get back there and apologize soon, ok? "

Jeannie nodded dolefully but there seemed to be something else bothering her. Mike saw her pick up the fork and push the remains of her omelette around the plate and knew the telltale signs of old. Reaching out to still her hand with his, he smiled lovingly.

"Hey! You're food rearranging again. That's never good. What's chewing on you?"

"Do you think he's ... mad at me for breaking my promise and coming back to San Francisco. I mean I promised I wouldn't but ... he sounded so sick and I was so worried ..."

Mike could see her getting agitated and quickly intervened.

"Hey now. He might be a little upset with you for coming back when you'd promised him not to but I think when he gets time to think about it, he'll actually be glad you're here ... You helped him a lot after all this happened. I think he'll actually be relieved to have you back in his corner again. You ah ... promised me one time that you wouldn't come back from your Aunt Jessica's after your Mom died remember? You used that crossed fingers trick too on that occasion as I recall. You caused a lot of worry for me and Jessica that time young lady" Mike admonished lightheartedly.

Jeannie blushed and recalled the moment she had left her Aunt's house, sneakily leaving just a note in her wake as she then headed to the bus station to try and get a bus home.

"Just as well I didn't have enough money for the bus fare huh?"

"Yes ... Just as well. And just as well the driver knew something wasn't right about you being there on your own and held onto you until Jessica came and got you. You always were high spirited and independent but I never expected you to do something like that. You frightened the life out of me. Anything could have happened to you and how do you think I would have felt then after just losing Helen to find out I'd lost you too, huh? I would have thought you'd learned your lesson about breaking promises using that method back then."

"I know Daddy. It was a stupid thing to do. But this time was different. I ... I had to come home Daddy ... Please don't send me back. "

Jeannie sounded so sad and desperate, so Mike squeezed her hand reassuringly and spoke softly.

"Hey, hey now. No-one's sending you anywhere you don't want to go, ok? Look I know I over reacted at the Hospital but it was only because ... because I know this is what you want to do with your life and I also know how much work you've put into it already and how much it means to you. I just didn't want you sacrificing it all because ... because I wasn't doing what I should have been ... which was helping look after Steve so that you could get on with your study and your exams. I guess I felt that it was my fault that you felt you had to come back and help and I ... I didn't want to be ... the reason you failed."

Jeannie tilted her head and laid it on his shoulder, and putting an arm around his waist she pulled him closer.

"Oh Daddy. I know you want what's best for me and I also know that you'd do anything you could to make me happy but ... you have to realize that I'm all grown up now. I know what I'm doing and yes you're right, this college course means the world to me but you and Steve mean more. I can handle my exams and still be here for you both. Honestly. You have to trust me Daddy. Professor Richards sent me all the notes I need and I brought all my books with me. I want to be here for the next two weeks until Steve is back on his feet and then I'll head back a couple of days before the exam. While I'm here I can do some study down at the library and at home and I've studied A LOT over the last week. You can even ask Mary Lou if you don't believe me. She almost confiscated my books the other day just to get me to stop for a while. Please Daddy. Let me stay and together we can help Steve get back on his feet. What do you say? "

Mike laid his chin on the top of Jeannie's head and hugged her tight. He had listened to her heartfelt speech and his heart had filled with a mix of love and pride.

"Jeannie I have always trusted you and you're right again ... sometimes it's hard for your old man to see you as a grown young woman instead of my little girl. But ... you sound like you have everything under control and if you think you can do well in your exams and still stay here with us then ... I'll be glad to have you home and ... truth be told ... I'll be glad of your help with Steve. He's definitely a little more upbeat when you're around. I think having the both of us in his corner will make all the difference to his speedy recovery."

Jeannie's face brightened and a wide smile lit up her face.

"So I can stay?"

"Of course you can stay ..."

Jeannie hugged him again and then lifted her head and kissed his cheek, catching Mike by surprise.

"Oh thank you Daddy. You won't be sorry. You'll see. I'll pass those exams with flying colours."

Mike chuckled.

"I never doubted it Sweetheart. "

Jeannie suddenly moved back to her spot at the table and picked up her fork and started finishing her food with a renewed appetite and Mike watched her proudly. But there was something that had been bothering him of late. Something that he felt the need to ask his daughter. Wondering if perhaps this was the right time to ask, Mike made his decision and spoke tentatively.

"Jeannie? Can I ask you something ... well ... it's a little personal actually ..."

Jeannie finished chewing the food she had placed in her mouth and swallowed it down a little nervously, not sure what Mike was going to ask her. When her mouth was empty, she picked up her napkin and wiped her mouth before speaking.

"Sure ... What is it?"

"Look please don't take this the wrong way but I've wondered this for a long time now and more so since Steve's shooting ... but ... well ... Do you ... that is to say ... Do you have ... feelings for Steve?"

Jeannie swallowed hard. _Mike had never asked her that question before. Why was he asking it now?_ She startled and flustered a little at his question.

"Daddy! ... Why would you ... even have to ask that? You know I care about Steve."

Mike smiled, feeling that perhaps he had already gotten his answer by her flustered response.

"Yes, yes I know you care about him. But what I'm asking you is how much? You've always been close but ... well it seems like you two have gotten a little closer since all this happened. Nursing someone who is sick and seeing them at their most vulnerable well ... sometimes it can ... well you know ... make you feel things a little more for someone. I just want to know if ... if that's the other reason you needed to come back here to look out for him, that's all."

Jeannie's jaw dropped and she stared at Mike unnervingly. _Were her feelings for Steve THAT obvious?_ She had always had feelings for her Father's handsome young partner from the first time she had laid eyes on him but it had grown from a childish crush in the early days to a brotherly, sisterly relationship to a deep bond of friendship over the four years that she had known him. He had become a large part of both their lives and a regular family member of the Stone Household. On her weekends home she had enjoyed many a movie or ballgame or theater visit in his company and they had an easy going and comfortable relationship that never hinted at anything else. He had always been a gentleman where she was concerned and a big brother type to her and knowing about her Father's rules regarding her dating a cop, and that combined with the age gap between them meant that their relationship never had any chance of developing into anything more than what it already was. She knew Steve idolized her Father too much to ever break those rules where she was concerned and so she had never pushed the issue with him but since Steve had almost died, her feelings HAD grown stronger.

Realizing that she had almost lost him had torn at her heartstrings in ways she would never have imagined it could. Over the course of the three grueling weeks that followed, Jeannie had seen a different side of Steve. As Mike had pointed out, she had seen his vulnerable side, the side he rarely showed and it was a side that had pushed her feelings to breaking point. From the purely medical side of things, she had become physically closer to him and during her last week home when she had helped him out at his apartment, she had shaved him and helped him with more personal things than she ever would have before, purely because he had been physically unable to do them for himself.

She knew he hated being so reliant on her and had seen his embarrassment many times when he had needed her help with more personal things. While he had still kept his dignity intact and insisted at all times in coping with the more intimate parts of his dressing and washing and personal care despite how weak and the amount of pain it had cost him in the process, there had been times when they had been in close contact with each other when she had felt that perhaps he actually was feeling the same chemistry between them that she was feeling as well but in true loyal Steve style he had always used those awkward moments to ask her to fetch something and thus break the momentary spell.

By the end of that last week, she had felt that perhaps it had been best to return to college and to stop putting him in such awkward situations but on returning to Arizona her mind and heart had remained with him in San Francisco. Hearing his pained voice on the phone the day before had only made her miss him all the more and in that moment she knew where she needed to be. She wasn't even sure if they had any hope of a future together but perhaps part of this trip home had involved her hope to maybe discover whether they had or not.

When Jeannie didn't answer Mike's question, Mike knew that once more his gut instinct had been right. He watched as she remained lost in her thoughts and saw the same far away look he had seen so many times before in Helen's eyes all those years ago. Wondering about it and knowing the truth however, were two entirely different things and Mike felt he needed a little time to adjust to the idea of his daughter and Steve ever being a couple in the true sense of the word. Cautiously he reached across and pulled her chin upwards to look at him. Finding the words somewhat difficult to form they ended up coming out a little stammered

"Jeannie? You're ... in love with him aren't you?"

Jeannie started to breathe a little heavier as she heard his forthright question and feeling that after everything her Father had just shared with her about her Mother over her favorite meal, that he deserved to know the truth however difficult it might be for him to hear, she merely nodded purposefully as bittersweet tears started to form in her eyes.

"Oh Daddy, don't be upset with me. I didn't ask for it to happen but it ... it has and it's not just because I almost lost him. I've always felt something special for Steve but ... but it's just grown into something more than friendship now ... At least ... with me it has ..."

Mike dropped his hand to clasp her hand instead and knew that he had to be careful what he said in this moment. Jeannie had admitted something to him that he knew had proven difficult for her to admit to and he had to acknowledge that amount of trust and honesty. This he knew was one of those important father/daughter moments that he knew he couldn't afford to mess up. It wasn't that he had a distinct problem with the idea in general but there were a lot of factors still to be considered. Not least of which was whether Steve felt the same way.

"Now, now ... I'm not upset with you. I appreciate you telling me. I knew you had a crush on him when you met him. You didn't exactly hide it very well, did you?" He said in a lighter tone to dispel the awkwardness of the moment.

It had the desired effect and a wry, embarrassed smile crept across her face as she recalled the many times she had eyed him up as a teenager whenever he would call over much to his embarrassment.

"Oh dear, I really did make a fool of myself back then didn't I? He must have thought I was crazy."

Mike chuckled.

"No not crazy but you sure made him feel uncomfortable at times and not a lot of women can manage that let me tell you ... But I think ultimately he found it flattering and probably a little sweet. You two have become really close friends over the years though. And ... and I can understand how what happened recently changed your perspective. Feeling you're going to lose someone you care a whole lot about tends to focus your feelings. Believe me I know and nursing someone when they're sick and they're reliant on you well ... it can bring you closer and stronger in a lot of ways. I guess the difference with me was that I already adored your Mother before she got sick and the feeling was mutual but those last three months before she died I swear I grew to love her a thousand times more. Is that what happened to you?"

Jeannie nodded again.

"Yes ... He was so weak and he needed help to do even the most simplest of things that first week he came out of the Hospital. That's when he needed you the most Daddy. He needed help with personal things that I couldn't help him with. I'd see him struggle to manage things that I knew he wasn't able to do and then afterwards there'd be visible tears in his eyes from the pain it would cause him. He'd only let me change his top and he insisted on doing the rest himself even though the stooping and the bending would make him yell out in pain. I'd hear him in his bedroom but he never knew I'd heard and he'd only come out when he had the pain back under control. Then there was the vomiting. He'd be so weak afterwards that I'd just hold him on the bathroom floor until he had regained the strength to get back up off the floor with my help and get him back to bed. We'd never say anything. We just lay there in silence most of the time ..."

Mike cringed inwardly as he heard the painful things she told him and felt his failure of the young man even more pronounced as a result. Yet he felt strangely proud of Steve for not allowing Jeannie to help him with anything awkward despite the pain it caused him. It showed the immense respect he had for his daughter and he both admired and appreciated the young man for it.

"You said that for you things had changed. What about Steve? Does he ... does he feel the same way?"

Jeannie looked up at him and he could see the visible heartbreaking torment in her eyes.

"I honestly don't know. I felt there were times he did but ... like I said Daddy, Steve has only ever been a gentleman towards me and he cares too much for you to ever step across that line you drew ..."

Mike looked momentarily confused and then nodded awkwardly.

"Line? Oh yes ...the no cop dating rule, huh? Well I never doubted his loyalty and I believe you that he never crossed it but what I'm asking you is ... well if you THINK he feels the same way?"

"I'm really not sure ... Steve always holds everything he feels so close to his chest that I can't be sure and anyway right now when he's at his lowest isn't really the time to ask him, is it?"

Mike smiled and he shook her hand proudly.

"Well I must say I'm glad to hear you say that. I agree that he's a little too fragile to question him over that just yet. Besides ... Steve's feelings are a little mixed up and confused about everything right now so pushing him about how he feels about anything at the moment could prove disastrous but ... Let's give him a little time and if you discover that well ... that he does feel the same and ... well provided that you finish college and get your own life and career sorted well I ... I don't have any objections to it ... Actually I think that ... well that the idea of you two together could kind of grow on me. I certainly know that you'd always be safe with him and I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather see make you happy than him."

Jeannie's jaw visibly dropped a second time and this time she couldn't stop her tears from falling. Staring at him with love and gratitude in her eyes she threw herself against his chest and hugged him tight.

"Oh Daddy ... Do you really mean it? You'd give us your blessing?"

Mike smiled and hugged her back, feeling proud that he had handled an important moment between them correctly.

"Yes, yes I really mean it but hold your horses now, ok? You don't even know if he feels the same and if he doesn't then I don't want you to be heartbroken. Let's just take it nice and slowly for now and see what happens, ok?"

"Ok ... I can handle that but ... what about your rule?"

"Aah! You're forgetting something important. Steve's not a cop anymore. He's going to be a teacher and I never said anything about you not dating a teacher now did I?"

Jeannie's smile beamed wider and she spoke lovingly as Mike handed her his handkerchief to dry her tears with.

"No ... no you never did but Mike? How did you know that my feelings had changed for Steve?"

"Well ... I'm not sure exactly except that when I came into the Hospital room earlier something seemed different between you two. I can't quite describe it but it reminded me of when I was with Helen. Something just clicked and I ... well I guess I needed to ask you if I was right or not. I'm glad I did now."

"I'm glad you did too Daddy. "

Mike smiled at Jeannie and then looked at his watch and saw that it was coming up to nine fifteen. Suddenly he remembered something and spoke urgently.

"Oh dear! I just remembered something. I have to make an important phone call. I tried to ring Professor Powell for Steve yesterday but he was away for the weekend and would be out of town until this evening. The College gave me his home number and I have to let him know about Steve not being able to start the job tomorrow. I just hope this goes well. I think Steve needs to hear all the good news he can get right now. You finish up your meal and I'll go use the payphone. I won't be long and then we'll get back to Franklin and check on Steve, ok?"

"Ok ... " Jeannie replied feeling better than she had for a long time.

She couldn't quite believe that they had actually had that conversation and that Mike had been ok with it. As she watched her Father walk off towards the pay phone she picked up her fork again and finished her omelette slowly, hoping that Mike could get some good news for Steve from Professor Powell and also hoping that Steve had been ok in their absence and that they could make him see how sorry they were when they returned to the Hospital.

She watched her Father anxiously as she ate, and saw him speaking animatedly into the mouthpiece. She tried to judge how the conversation was going by his facial reactions but he was just that bit far away and every so often he would turn during his conversation and his face would be hidden from her view. The phone conversation went on for a long time and Jeannie started to wonder if that was a good sign or not. She watched as he finally hung up and she found herself holding her breath in anticipation of what news her Father would have, but then to her astonishment he seemed to put more coins in and she saw him dialing another number. She waited patiently as he made his second call and squinting her eyes she saw a distinct frown on her father's face that only served to make her worry even more.

The second call didn't last as long as the first but when he hung up he hurried over to where Mama was standing by the till and taking out his wallet from his pocket she saw him pay their bill in a hurried fashion. Feeling even more anxious now she grabbed her handbag and cardigan from the seat and picking up her Father's car keys from the table she slid out of the booth and hurried to meet him.

"Daddy? What's going on? Are we going?"

"Yes honey. I decided to ring the Hospital to check on Steve while I was at the payphone. Rita said he's ok but he took a bad reaction to his last dose of Morphine. I think we better get back there right away."

"Oh my God!" Jeannie muttered, allowing Mike to guide her out of Mama's and back to their car that was parked just up the block.

Arriving at it and getting in Jeannie couldn't wait any longer before asking.

"Mike? What about Professor Powell? How did he take the news?"

Mike drove off into the evening traffic at a fast speed and Jeannie could see and sense how distracted and worried he was after his last phone call about Steve. Without taking his eyes of the road ahead he spoke.

"Sorry Honey? What did you ask me?"

"Professor Powell. How did he take the news about Steve?"

"Oh sorry. Yes, he was really understanding and he seemed genuinely sorry to hear about what had happened. He said it was fine and that he would arrange for a substitute teacher to stand in for Steve tomorrow and for as long as it takes to get him back on his feet. He also said that he would make sure the stand in teacher would liaise with Steve fully with what was being taught and he wished him a speedy recovery."

Jeannie audibly sighed with relief.

"Well that's great news isn't it?"

"What? Oh yes ... Yes, it's very good news ..."

Mike drove on, taking the next corner quite quickly as Jeannie grabbed the handle on the passenger door as he did.

"Mike slow down or we may not get back there in one piece!" Jeannie cajoled playfully, trying to conceal the fact that Mike's eagerness to return to Steve was making her worry more by the minute.

Mike slowed a little as he briefly glanced over at his daughter and blushed slightly.

"Sorry Jean. You're right. I ... I just want to get back there quick that's all. Rita said he was ... well that he was asking for us and that he wanted her to tell us how ... sorry he was ..."

Jeannie heard her Father's voice break and then startled as she saw him bang the steering wheel in frustration as they got stopped at a red light.

"Can you credit that? WE argue in front of him and cause him to be ill and HE wants to say how sorry he is ... Typical Steve ... Taking the blame for everything ... It's all my fault Jeannie. I never should have let him go on his own that night in the car. I should have insisted they all pair up while we waited for the Ross girl to ring. Steve was out of sorts that day after the hearing and I knew for months that something was bothering him and yet I never spoke to him about it. Not once. Every time he tried to talk to me about the teaching offer I always made light of it because ... because I was being selfish and I didn't want to lose him as a partner. What an irony huh? All my actions did was almost get him killed. Some partner huh? Some ... LOUSY partner."

The red light turned green and several horns from behind started beeping and a few angry shouts followed, as Mike sat lost in his own torment behind the wheel as Jeannie's heart broke for him.

"MIKE, the light's green. Pull around the corner and park and we'll talk for a few minutes ok?"

Mike looked across at his daughter with a blank and heart broken expression and only then seemed to hear the shouts and horns coming from behind him. He pulled himself together and then drove off around the corner as she had suggested and pulled into the first spot available as he turned off the engine and his tears began to fall. Reaching across the seat between them Jeannie grabbed her Father's shaking body and hugged him to her tightly, his head falling onto her shoulder as the last four weeks of built up upset and regret poured from his heart.

"I've let him down Jeannie ... I've let you both down ..."

 **Back at Franklin Hospital : 8:45pm**

Rita was in Steve's room doing some more checks when the door opened and Dr. Lowell entered.

"Evening Rita. I got your page. What's going on?"

"Well, his infection seems to have cleared and his vital signs are holding steady but he seems to have taken a bad reaction to his last dose of Morphine. He was very weak and flaky for a while and now he's out of it completely yet at times he's getting quite restless."

Dr. Lowell picked up Steve's chart and read the latest findings. Frowning, Dr. Lowell noted the last dosage given and shook his head dismissively.

"Well it's the same dose he's gotten all the other times. Has he shown any ill effects before?"

"No Doctor. I mean it does tend to hit him hard but this time it seemed to have a stronger effect than normal."

"Ok, let's check him out."

Dr. Lowell moved closer to the bed and leaned over Steve. Lifting his eyelids one by one he scowled as he then lifted Steve's left wrist and started taking his pulse.

"I see what you mean. He's very much under alright. How has his blood pressure been?"

"It's holding steady."

"Ok, let's check his breathing."

Dr. Lowell undid Steve's top and placing the stethoscope in his ears he placed the other end against Steve's rib cage and listened in silence, moving it at various times until eventually he removed the earpieces then spoke.

"His breathing is nice and steady too. Heart rate is normal. I don't see any major cause for concern. Has ... has he been weighed since he came up to CCU yesterday?"

Rita took up the chart and scanned the pages.

"No, Doctor."

Rita could see Dr. Lowell thinking hard, his left thumb and forefinger slowly caressing his chin in a familiar fashion that Rita recognized and smiled as she watched him study Steve's sleeping form and then turning to face her he spoke decisively.

"He looks to me like he's lost the bit of weight he managed to put on since leaving the Hospital two weeks ago. I think that might be the problem. His body weight is not conducive to the dosage anymore. Is he back eating yet? "

Rita saddened and shook her head dolefully.

"No ... I'm afraid not Doctor. He managed some food earlier but it all came back. We started him on nutrition shakes. The first one came back but he seems to be keeping down the second one so far."

Dr. Lowell shook his head in frustration.

"We have to get him back eating. He can't afford to lose much more weight. Try to get him weighed in the morning so we can get an indication of how much weight he's lost. Keep him on the shakes for now. See if you can get him to drink two or three shakes in the morning and then if he manages to keep those down, try him back on a light diet at lunchtime. In the meantime we'll start reducing his Morphine doses. It's about time we started to wean him off it anyway. And I want you to start him on regular anti-nausea medicine three times a day. Let's see if we can keep some food in his stomach with their help. Also I noted his blood sugar levels are down a bit in his latest blood test. I want you to take down the Saline drip and put up a Glucose one instead for eight hours. That should boost his sugar levels back up and we'll get more bloods taken in the morning."

Dr. Lowell wrote the new dosages and medications on Steve's chart and then thought some more.

"The lower Morphine dose mightn't fully take away his pain for long so he may need alternative painkillers in the interim. Knowing Steve, he's not going to tell you he's in pain so you're going to have to watch out for the signs instead and medicate accordingly. Have you started the desensitization process yet?"

"Yes Doctor. Lisa started earlier with the first session. He didn't react very well to it but then he was quite ill so we haven't managed any more this evening."

"Ok, leave him alone for now and start again tomorrow. Try to get at least three or four sessions in throughout the day. We need to get a handle on that before we release him home. As soon as he's back eating again we need to get him back up walking again too."

Bending over Steve again, Dr. Lowell removed the dressing from his chest carefully and noted that Steve never even flinched. He examined Steve's chest wound and the place where the infection had been."

"Looks nice and clear but we'll keep up the antibiotics for another three days just to be on the safe side. Dr. Kramer told me about his fall earlier. Did he do any damage?"

"He opened the wrist wound slightly but it's clean."

Dr. Lowell sat on the side of the bed and reached over and unwrapped Steve's wrist. Sucking in a deep breath he grumbled in an annoyed tone.

"Ooh! ... He's burst at least three of the stitches but you're right at least it's clean."

Rita noted he seemed to be thinking again and waited for further instructions. They weren't long in coming.

"Rita could you please get me a suture kit and a large syringe of local anesthetic. While he's out of it I think I'll restitch the wrist and stitch back up the chest wound where the infection was. "

Rita hurried off to fetch what he needed and while the Doctor injected the local anesthetic into the wounds on Steve's wrist and chest, she carried out the other instructions she had given him and changed his IV to the Glucose drip. She then watched as he carefully stitched up both wounds expertly and prepared the supplies to redress them when he was finished. Steve only groaned once groggily during the whole procedure but quickly settled again. As he worked, Dr. Lowell spoke softly to Rita.

"Did you bring him on his first road trip yet Rita?"

Rita smiled and answered.

"Yes, I took him out for a while a short time ago."

"Did you take him to talk to another patient yet?"

"Yes ... I took him to see Susan and Paul."

"Oh! Good choice. That way he gets to see two sides of his recovery. Where he's been and where he's heading. Very good thinking Rita."

"Thank you Doctor."

Dr. Lowell stopped his needlework briefly and smiled at his Senior Nurse.

"Did it help him, do you think?"

"I think so. But I didn't get to assess how much yet. The medication kicked in too strongly and he wasn't fit to be questioned about it."

"I have every faith in you Rita. That's why I assigned him to you. If anyone can get him thinking more positively then you can. "

"I appreciate your confidence in my abilities Doctor." Rita answered warmly.

"Well you have a track record of success and many patients that would agree with me. There! All done. You can redress his wrist but leave the chest scar alone. He needs to get used to it without the dressing on it and it should heal a little quicker if we let the air at it. The dressing is only keeping it moist."

"Yes Doctor." Rita replied but she couldn't help feeling a little anxious about how Steve would take seeing the scar uncovered when he woke up.

With everything sorted Dr. Lowell left one parting instruction as he opened the door to leave.

"Do me a favor and keep a close eye on his blood pressure and breathing for the next few hours just to be cautious. If there is any major change in either, page me. I'll be in the building."

Rita nodded and as Dr. Lowell left, she turned and closed Steve's top and started the task of redressing his wrist. Just as she finished Steve started groaning again and thrashing his head from side to side alarmingly. He wasn't coherent and the words that left his lips were slurred at best. Rita reached over and tried her best to calm him but it took her a while to manage to quieten him again. Looking at the doorway she sighed and spoke to herself.

"Come on Mike and Jeannie. WHERE ARE YOU? "


	28. Chapter 28

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 28

Jeannie held her Father close as his torment spilled over and she allowed him the time he needed to release the emotions she knew he had been holding in for the last four weeks. Sitting in the car, on the dark corner of Gough Street, Jeannie rubbed her Father's back soothingly and remembered in her mind the only other time she had ever seen her Father this upset.

That time had been the day he had collected her from her Aunt Jessica's three days after her Mother's passing and they had made the quiet and sombre journey home from Sacramento to San Francisco. They hadn't spoken much except for some forced small talk as they both silently dreaded crossing the threshold of De Haro Street knowing their family now consisted of just the two of them. Mike had smiled across at her for the umpteenth time as they crossed the Bay Bridge and had told her for at least the fourth time how glad he was to have her home. Even though she could hear the forced cheerfulness in his tone, she also sensed the heartbreak that was hiding behind it. The dreaded moment arrived as Mike had opened the front door and allowed her to enter as he carried Jeannie's suitcase in behind her. She had felt an overwhelming emptiness in the house she called home and stood staring around the empty living room with a heavy heart. She knew he had sensed her sadness and clapping his hands together he had spoken once more in a courageous tone she could tell he was having a hard time keeping up.

"Say you must be starving. I cooked us some dinner. Would you believe that? Nothing fancy mind ... Just ... well tuna casserole. I know how much you love it. I used ... Mom's recipe but ... I can't swear that it will be the same. I'll go sort it out and get it on the table and you can set the table for me, ok?"

Jeannie remembered being impressed that her Father had cooked. Her Mom had always cooked for them and although Mike was a master chef at pancakes and barbecues, he usually left the rest to Helen. Even during her illness, he had resorted to Pizzas from Tony's on more than one occasion as their main meal. The fact that he had cooked that night especially for her made an impression on her and she knew he was trying to show her that they would be ok, just the two of them. Her Dad's tuna casserole had tasted delicious and she noted the warm and genuine smile that had lit up his face when she had told him so, but she had also noticed with dismay how little of it he had actually eaten himself, making the excuse that he had eaten some already earlier for his lunch, which she had doubted very much.

She remembered vividly how Mike had tucked her into bed that night and planted a loving kiss on her forehead. But it was over two hours later when she had woken up to a strange, unfamiliar sound. Getting out of bed she had crossed the landing and pushed her Father's bedroom door open and found it empty, so she had padded down the stairs in her bare feet and as she had approached the living room her heart had skipped a beat as she heard the distressing sobs that came from the half open doorway. Slowly edging her way forward she had peeped through the crack and saw her Father sitting in her Mother's armchair, with her Mother's favorite pink cardigan clutched to his chest, his head bowed low in his hand and his heart breaking sobs had tugged at her heart strings. She remembered running into the room and throwing her arms around him and she had held him just like now, her own tears soon joining his until they had no more tears left to cry between them. Then when the tears had finally stopped, they had talked late into the night, sharing his ever present handkerchief to dry their eyes as they had shared the heartbreaking loss of her Mother and the many fond memories that they both had of her. Their father/ daughter relationship had cemented that night into the unbreakable bond that still endured to this very day.

Now as she felt his body finally relax and she heard his breathing getting a little easier, Mike lifted his head from her shoulder and she cupped his face with her hands, running them gently down both sides of his face.

"Oh boy! I'm sorry Jeannie. I ... I don't know where that ah ... came from exactly."

Sensing his embarrassment, she smiled and spoke compassionately.

"I do Daddy. It's from trying to live up to that "Iron Mike " reputation of yours. Sometimes you have to remember that you're human just like the rest of us and sometimes you have to let the upset out too. It's not healthy to keep it in like that. Isn't that what you always tell me and Steve? And don't you always tell us that we shouldn't second guess things in life. That it only eats you up and damages you. Don't you always tell us to learn from our mistakes but not to be consumed by them?"

"Yes ... yes you're right. I guess I'm not as good at practicing what I preach, huh?"

Mike then smiled and relaxed against her soft, soothing hands.

"I always said you could say more with your hands than your voice sometimes, didn't I?"

Jeannie nodded and smiled.

"Daddy, you haven't let either of us down. Haven't you always told me that you believe things happen in this life for a reason?"

"Yes ... But I sure as hell can't see the reason this time. He didn't deserve this Jeannie."

"I know that Daddy but maybe you're too close to this one to see the reason. "

"What do you mean Sweetheart?"

"Daddy, Did you ever think that maybe Steve survived this for a reason? I mean maybe this whole teaching thing is where his future is meant to be. I'm not sure he would have been able to take that job and leave you behind as his partner but this way he doesn't have to make that difficult choice. It was ... well it was made for him."

Mike thought about Jeannie's words and looked momentarily stunned. He hadn't thought of it like that.

"You think he might have turned down the teaching job because ... because I didn't want him to take it?"

Jeannie sighed and dropped her hands back onto her lap sadly.

"I don't know for sure Daddy. But I do know he idolizes you and I know he felt very torn over the whole thing. He knew he was having issues using his gun and he told me once that he feared he wouldn't be able to back you up if it got worse and I know it bothered him that you didn't think it was the right choice for him but he really felt he could make a difference becoming an Assistant Professor of Criminology. He wanted to find out what caused young people to turn to crime. He actually sounded very excited about it but I don't think he could have done it without your blessing."

Mike dry swallowed as he contemplated Jeannie's words.

"Did he ... tell you all that?"

"Not in so many words but we talked about it the day of my birthday lunch at Mama's. You went to the restroom and I noticed he was a little out of sorts. So I asked him what was wrong and he said that you didn't like the idea of him leaving the force and that he didn't want to disappoint you."

Mike's head lowered and he suddenly saw things a little clearer. She was right. He had been too close to it to see the truth staring him in the face.

"I see ... Well, I guess maybe you're right. I hadn't given him my blessing. If anything I just made his decision all the harder. And look what that almost cost us, huh?"

"But you're forgetting something important Daddy."

Mike's head whipped up again, proud of the wisdom and maturity she was displaying during this conversation. She reminded him in that moment of a younger version of himself, issuing advice to all those around him and making it his sole purpose to raise the spirits of those he cared for. He could hardly contain the pride that filled his heart as he asked shakily.

"What's that?"

"Steve's not the only one who got a second chance to make things right Daddy this time around."

Mike smiled his familiar beaming smile and it's return brought a ray of hope with it.

"You're right. This time I WILL give him my blessing and I'll be with him every step of the way. And you got a second chance too Honey. A chance to tell him how you really feel about him. "

Her smile matched his and she blushed slightly.

"THAT might be a tad more difficult, Daddy."

"Oh I don't know about that. I think you'll find a way Jean. You always do when you care passionately about something even if in this case that " something " is Steve. "

They clasped hands and shared another proud and special moment before Mike's face darkened slightly and Jeannie picked up the downturn in his mood.

"Daddy, what is it?"

"I'm really worried about him Sweetheart. He's ... he's not eating again and I'd swear he's lost weight over the last two days and you know he can't afford to lose much more. "

"I know ... I've seen him like that ... It's not an easy thing to watch."

"That's right ... You have ... Wait a minute, but you got him eating again, didn't you? How did you manage it?"

Jeannie shrugged and sat back in her seat.

"Well it wasn't easy Daddy. I cooked loads of meals to try and get him to eat but they never lasted in his stomach long. "

"Was he ... very weak? "

Jeannie's face saddened.

"Yes ... I remember after his third day home he could hardly lift his head off his pillow without ... without help ..."

As she spoke her voice broke as she recalled the weak smiles he used to smile at her in order to try and stop her worrying and the times when he could hardly keep his eyes open for long as his energy levels fell through the floor. Mike saw her haunted look and dry swallowed again.

"That week was really tough for the two of you wasn't it?"

Jeannie merely nodded, now twisting her fingers in her lap as she worried that he was heading for the same fate if they couldn't get him eating again soon.

"But Jeannie? You didn't say how you got him eating again ..."

"After trying so many dishes, I thought one day to ask him what Harry would have given him as a boy when he was sick. He remembered Harry giving him mashed sweet potato. You know how Mom used to make us chicken soup when ever we were ill Daddy? And how no matter how sick we were it became a comfort food, almost magical and healing just because SHE made it for us?"

Mike recalled the exact feeling Jeannie was talking about and smiled as he recalled that even to this day the smell and taste of chicken soup exuded a form of comfort that always brought his beloved Helen to his mind and made it feel like she was right there with him whenever he consumed it. He nodded his head.

"Yes ... yes I sure do."

"Well when I made Steve some of the sweet potato mash and I helped feed it to him, I recognized that same nostalgic feeling in his eyes too. It was as if he felt comforted by it and for the first time he ate every spoonful and managed to keep it down. So I ... I stuck with feeding him that for a few days and when he got a little stronger, I gradually got him to eat other things."

"Do you have any of that still left in his freezer?"

"Ah ... Yes! Yes I think so ... Do you think we should bring him some of that in?"

Mike smiled wider, feeling better than he had for a while, his infectious optimism returning in the aftermath of releasing all the negative and pent up worries that had haunted him for weeks.

"Yes ... yes I think we should but let's just get back there for now and check if he's ok first and we can drop by his place tomorrow morning and fetch what we need then. "

Grasping Jeannie's hand warmly and gratefully, he spoke, his tone a mixture of pride and deep affection.

"You know ... I really don't know what I'd do without you two. Thanks Jeannie and ... and I'm really glad you're home. "

Jeannie felt a tear of her own form as she squeezed his hand back.

"I feel exactly the same about you two as well. And right now I cant think of anywhere else I'd rather be. Come on. Let's get back to him, ok Daddy?"

"Absolutely" Mike answered in a much more confident tone than earlier, finally feeling free of the awful guilt and now knowing exactly what he had to do to make everything ok again.

Throwing on his indicators and pulling out into the evening traffic once more, he headed at a more safe but hasty speed back towards Franklin Hospital.

 **Franklin Hospital : CCU : Room Five: 9:40 pm**

Steve had become restless again. He was moaning in his sleep but his words just like the last time were not coherent. Rita tried everything she knew from all her years as a nurse to settle him but this time nothing was working. His heart rate was starting to increase and he was thrashing his head from side to side as if he was having a nightmare that the drugs were not allowing him to wake up from. She was just about to give up and page Dr. Lowell when the door opened and the anxious looking form of Mike appeared through it followed by an even more anxious looking Jeannie. Rita audibly sighed with relief when she saw them and beckoned them over with her hand.

"Hurry Mike. I can't get him to settle. He's very restless. "

When Mike saw Steve in such a state of distress he raced to Steve's side and leaned across until his mouth was beside Steve's ear. Clasping Steve's good hand which lay above the covers he spoke soothingly.

"STEVE? Steve it's MIKE. Everything's alright. You need to rest Steve."

Steve's uneasiness seemed to pause for several seconds as the familiar voice sunk into his drug induced sleep but it didn't last long. He seemed to get even more agitated then much to Mike's horror. His breathing became more labored and distressed and anguished, indistinguishable sounds left his lips as his eyelids tried in vain to open but merely fluttered instead, failing miserably to obey him, his hand trembling in Mike's grip. Mike looked horrified up at Rita and spoke in a tone that gave away his deep anguish.

"Rita? What's the matter with him. Why can't he wake up? "

"He had a bad reaction to the last dose of Morphine, Mike. He's been very restless but he's still too far under to come out of it just yet."

Mike's face fell and his eyes grew even wider.

"So he could be stuck in a nightmare he can't wake up from?" he asked in disbelief, the mere thoughts of his statement enough to chill his blood where he stood.

Rita stared back sympathetically, not feeling any better about the situation than he did.

"It's possible ... yes. I shall have to page Dr. Lowell for advice. I've tried everything I know to try and settle him and nothing's worked."

She turned to leave urgently but Jeannie, who had been partially forgotten about in the last few anguished moments stepped forward behind them and spoke calmly.

"May ... I try please?"

Rita nodded and Mike stepped back, releasing Steve's hand in the process and making room for Jeannie to approach the bed. She strode purposefully to his side but instead of gripping his hand she leaned over and took his face in her hands instead. She leaned in close as Mike had but spoke in a softer, soothing tone, her hands now stroking each side of his face as it still attempted to shake from side to side, despite Jeannie's gentle hold.

"Steve? Steve it's Jeannie. You're ok Babe. You're safe Steve ... Do you hear me? ... You're SAFE ..."

Rita and Mike stood and watched the interaction firsthand, both with bated breaths, both hoping Jeannie could get through to the drugged and distressed young man and succeed where they had failed. Steve took several seconds to register her quietly spoken words which she continued to repeat in a soothing and soft tone all the while, her fingers gently moved along his jawline and across his clammy forehead in a mesmerizing pattern. His head finally stilled, his plaintive whimpers gradually died down and his eyelids settled, not trying to open anymore. The whole process took an agonizing ten minutes to complete but Steve finally settled peacefully as Jeannie continued talking softly and encouragingly to him while her fingers lightly caressed his face in calming circles and strokes.

"Me and Mike are right here with you Steve. You need to sleep now. Nothing can harm you Babe. Don't fight the drugs. Let them help you rest. Shush now. Everything's alright."

As soon as she felt his body relax and she was satisfied that her ministrations had worked, she withdrew her hands slowly and turned to see Mike and Rita staring in astonishment at what she had managed to achieve. She blushed slightly under their gaze and spoke in an explanatory tone.

"He used to get like that quite a lot after ... the initial operation. The drugs used to agitate him. I don't think he likes the feeling of not being in control when he's that strongly medicated. I ... I did that once and found that it worked so I did it every time after that, when he'd get unsettled. Even ... during his first week home."

Rita's initial look of amazement turned into a warm and relieved smile directed at the young woman who had such a positive influence on her patient and she knew in that moment that her presence was going to be another invaluable contribution to Steve's ultimate recovery. Mike's look of amazement morphed into one of extreme pride and gratitude for her knowledge of the situation and he also knew in that moment for sure that she was back in the right place where Steve needed her to be. He moved forward and grasped her shoulders affectionately and spoke to Rita, the pride evident in his voice.

"That's my girl Rita. She doesn't even have to speak sometimes, she just has to use those hands of hers. I never did get to introduce my daughter properly to you, did I? " he continued with a hint of embarrassment as he recalled their last interaction. " This is my daughter Jeannie and my pride and joy."

Rita held out a welcoming, outstretched hand towards the young woman.

"A pleasure to finally meet you Jeannie. Your Father has told me wonderful things about you. I can see you're going to be invaluable to us where Steve is concerned."

Rita's words were music to Jeannie's ears and she shook the nurse's hand warmly, instantly liking the affable, older woman who exuded professionalism but with a warm compassionate side that caused you to feel at ease immediately in her presence.

"It's nice to meet you too ... Ah ... I'm really sorry about earlier. I guess my first impression wasn't a very positive one. "

Rita chuckled and patted the young woman's hand kindly before letting go.

"Oh don't you worry about that. Your second impression has more than made up for it. Think nothing of before. I ... I take it that you two have managed to ah ... settle your differences? Only I don't want another repeat performance if it could be shall we say ... avoided?"

Jeannie smiled.

"We're both ok now, don't worry. It WON'T happen again. You have my word. We're here for Steve now one hundred percent together. Aren't we Daddy?"

Mike squeezed her shoulders lovingly as Jeannie's hands reached up to grasp his.

"That's right Sweetheart. Don't worry Rita. You'll get no more trouble from us. You have my word too. "

Rita turned her appreciative smile this time to Mike who returned it in kind.

"Well I'm glad to hear it. I'll leave him in both your safe hands for now" she stated, the pun in her words not lost on Mike as he chuckled softly. "If you need me, just press the call button beside the bed."

Both Jeannie and Mike nodded agreeably at the nurse and watched as she left the room. Their eyes then returned to Steve who now appeared to be sleeping quite peacefully. Mike bent down and whispered into his daughter's ear.

"I think he's very glad you're back. I guess that makes two of us."

Jeannie beamed at her Father on hearing his words and felt happier than she had in a long time. They were all where they were meant to be for now and together they would help Steve back on his feet and to a more positive place. She no longer worried about it but had ultimate faith in it.

The next few hours were quiet and despite Mike's offer to drive her home so that she could get some rest after her long day traveling, Jeannie refused to leave Steve even for a few hours so now approaching one o'clock in the morning, she was curled rather uncomfortably in one of the visitor's armchairs, fast asleep over beside the window, a spare blanket Mike had found in the closet draped around her lovingly. Mike sat on the other side of the bed beside Steve, watching the two people who meant more than anything to him sleeping peacefully and he couldn't help feeling that yesterday, despite all the numerous upsets, worries and angst it had brought, had seen them all turn a corner and felt that they were all now in a much better place. Rita entered the room and smiled as she caught sight of Mike's daughter and spoke to him in a whisper.

"Couldn't convince her to leave huh?"

"No ... Wild horses wouldn't have been able to drag her from his bedside right now." he added humorously.

Rita laughed.

"And what about you? How are you holding up?" she asked with genuine concern, coming towards him and perching against the side of the bed facing him.

Mike appreciated her question but smiled a little hesitantly in her direction.

"Oh I'm ok. Maybe still a little embarrassed that you ah ... caught me acting like an old fool yesterday evening, shouting and carrying on. I don't normally do that I hope you know. "

Rita saw him blush and reaching out she grasped his hand sympathetically.

"Like I told Jeannie, forget it. You gave me your word that it won't happen again, and I believe you. Besides ... Do you think I'VE never acted like a silly old fool in my time. Trust me, I've had my moments."

Mike finally relaxed and seemed relieved that there were no ill feelings lingering because of the earlier incident and again beamed proudly at this strong and forgiving woman who had made quite an impression on him and seemed never to cease to amaze him with the depth of her goodness and humanity.

"Well maybe sometime you could tell me all about those times, huh?" he questioned teasingly as he squeezed her hand back affectionately and both of them stayed caught in the tender moment.

Rita felt a strange warmth fill her as this charming man held her hand and she flustered away from his grip and joked back, her voice slightly shaking from the feelings that had rushed through her at his gentle but meaningful touch.

"Oh, I'm not too sure about THAT! I'd ah ... have to get to know you a lot better before I'd risk telling you THOSE stories." she added humorously but Mike's unwavering and admiring gaze only served to unnerve her a little more.

"Well I hope you'll afford me that opportunity Rita. I'd ... well I'd really like to get to know you better ... outside this place of course and when Steve is ... well home and ... feeling better. " Mike flustered this time and they both stayed staring strangely at each other, both caught by surprise at the depth of the feelings they seemed to be sharing for each other, having only met just two short days before.

They seemed to really understand each other and had a lot in common and a bond of friendship was most definitely developing between them. It was as if fate had thrown them together and yet as if they had been waiting to meet each other all this time. Both were content with their lives and their work as they were but yet their meeting had made them realize how much they both missed the close companionship that a loving relationship brought. It had uncovered the vast loneliness that came from the loss of their respective spouses. As if they had missed the tender touches that had always made them feel special to someone. There was a definite spark of chemistry between them and it was evident to both of them as when they were alone in each others presence, a certain welcome uneasiness settled between them causing their hearts to beat just that little bit faster.

Rita smiled and answered.

"I'd like that too Mike."

Mike suddenly felt a little braver, not quite sure where his new bravado was coming from but taking advantage of it, he leaned forward towards her and sought her hand once more. Clasping it he spoke a little nervously.

"Rita ... I hope you won't take this the wrong way but ... well I'm not sure exactly what's happening here between us but I get a strange feeling deep in my gut when you're around me and well ... I haven't felt that way with anyone since ... since I was with Helen. And I ..." Unfortunately for Mike, his courage ran out before he could continue what he needed to say and so instead he rambled uncomfortably. " Oh listen to me, will you? ... Now I sound like one of those stalker guys who I've often arrested in the past. I'm sorry Rita. Maybe I'm just overtired or maybe ... well maybe this whole situation has shown me how fragile life is and how short sometimes and that maybe these things should be told instead of being kept to ourselves. Or ... maybe you should just call the men in the white coats and have me declared mentally unstable ..." he added humorously in order to distract from the rather serious admission he had just made to the woman who was currently causing him to squirm inside through no fault of her own.

Rita squeezed his hand back again and spoke unexpectedly.

"Well if that's a committable offense then I think ... I had better join you ..."

That made Mike stand up and face her.

"So you ... you feel it too? I mean a connection of some kind. Butterflies and all?"

Rita felt her breath catch in her throat as Mike stood and towered slightly above her. Not sure if she could get her voice to work she stammered shakily without letting go of his hand.

"Yes ... It's so strange Mike. I mean I only met you two days ago but it feels as if ..."

"... As if we've known each other all our lives ..." Mike finished for her and she nodded, amazed that he felt the same.

Mike was the first to speak after that dramatic revelation, trying to settle the butterflies that were now fluttering through his stomach at an alarming rate.

"Boy! I can't believe you feel the same way. It's uncanny huh? I was afraid I was ... I don't know ah ... imagining it or ... maybe wishful thinking but ... I'm so glad I wasn't. "

Rita was feeling almost weak at the knees and found herself sinking back against the bed to hold her up. She lowered her gaze not quite sure where they went from here but found herself asking her next question automatically.

"Mike? Can I ask you something personal?"

Mike dry swallowed not sure what she was going to ask but feeling that he trusted her completely, he answered.

"Sure ..."

"Do you get lonely ... you know ... without Helen?"

Mike almost froze. He didn't like to think of how lonely he felt without his beloved wife but he felt she deserved an answer.

"Well ... when I'm around these two not so much but ... the worst time is at night when I go to bed. I ah ... I never got rid of our double bed. It never seemed right to do that so ... sometimes at night it feels six times its size ... You know I forget sometimes when I'm asleep that she's not there until ... I reach over and feel the cold space and her warmth isn't where it used to be. When I would have a hard day at work and there were plenty of those I can tell you, I never wanted to burden her with them. Seeing some of the disturbing things that I saw on the job ... well ... the trauma kind of stays in your eyes for a while and she used to see right through them. So sometimes I used to get into bed late at night but I wouldn't face her because I didn't want her to see the upset. She'd turn over and ... and she'd throw her arm around my waist and ... I swear she melted every trouble away just with that one simple touch. I know it sounds kind of dumb but it kind of became our thing. She'd come up behind me and throw her arms around my waist and ... every time she did I felt like the King of the World ... Like nothing could ever be wrong while her arms were there. I ... I miss her arms ... I miss them ... a lot ..."

Mike's voice broke and tears stood out in his eyes and for a minute he couldn't even believe that he'd shared such a personal thing about his relationship with Helen with the one person he should feel ashamed about falling in love with in her absence. Rita's heart skipped a beat and she gasped as she heard his heart breaking story. Reaching up with her other hand to cup his cheek, she stuttered emotionally.

"Oh Mike. I know exactly what you mean. I never got rid of our double bed either. Sometimes I sleep in the middle so that I don't see his empty space so much. With Bob being a Doctor as well, he understood the sadness that comes hand in hand with our profession too. Unfortunately it's not all success stories here. People we try to save don't always make it. Sometimes we have to watch them slowly fade away and we have to try and comfort their loved ones and when I'd come home after days like that, he'd know too by looking in my eyes. He'd pull me into his arms and just like you said, all the upset would melt away. I ... I miss his arms too. You're lucky you at least have Jeannie. Sometimes my house feels so big and empty and ... and lonely.

Mike stared at her, sympathizing with her loss easily as it mirrored his own. Without a further thought he pulled Rita gently back up to face him and spoke with a definite tremor in his voice.

"You know Rita ...I'm not really sure where we should go from here but it seems to me that well ... purely acting on my detective intuition, I feel I'd like to investigate this a little further."

Rita smiled warmly, despite the nervous hammering of her heart deep within her chest and she spoke more bravely that she felt.

"Well as a professional nurse I think it ... might be a good thing to investigate if only for purely scientific reasons ... Don't you think?"

Mike felt her arms slowly sneak around his waist and he breathed a little heavier as a result, as past memories flooded his mind. Leaning ever closer towards Rita's lips he murmured.

"I've always favored the idea of professional consultations you know? They always have a habit of being very ... very rewarding. "

Just as their lips were within inches of each other, a weak sounding voice drew their attention and they drew apart hastily as they turned to see Steve trying to keep his heavy eyelids open.

"Mi ..ke?"

 **A/N: Thanks so much to all the readers who are still following and reviewing this story. I'm sorry time constraints dont always allow me to personally thank you all but I want you all to know how much your support means to me. Thank you!..x**


	29. Chapter 29

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 29

Mike and Rita raced over to Steve as the young man closed his eyes and seemed to be trying in vain to lift his head off the pillow. He wasn't managing very well and a cold shiver went down Mike's spine as he remembered Jeannie's earlier revelation about how weak he had become from not eating the last time. He placed his hand on Steve's forehead effectively stopping his efforts and was alarmed by how clammy the young man's skin felt. Steve's eyes struggled open again and his green eyes looked unfocused and glazed.

"Mi ... ke? Is ... that you?" he stammered, his words slurred in patches but more coherent than before as his hand lifted unsteadily and sought out contact with the older man now so close to him.

As if worrying that he was seeing things, his hand found Mike's cheekbone and his trembling fingers traveled it's length. Mike grasped his hand, stilling his movement, instead pressing Steve's hand to the side of his face as he smiled warmly.

"Well? Does it feel like me?"

Mike studied Steve and swore he saw a brief wry smile cross the young man's face.

"Yeah ... But you need ... a shave" he added with an attempt at humor as he felt the distinct stubble under his hand.

Mike chuckled and brought Steve's hand back down to the bed still clasped in his.

"Yes, you're right. I do ... You ok?"

Steve didn't answer at first and Mike worryingly saw Steve's eyes roll briefly before returning to try and focus on the older man.

"Head ... feels heavy. Like ... it's made of ... lead " Steve murmured unsteadily as his eyes closed again and his bottom lip visibly quivered.

Mike looked up at Rita and the worry that was clearly etched across his brow line, shook her to the core. She edged forward and lifted Steve's other wrist and proceeded to take his pulse as her voice spoke in a soothing tone.

"Steve? It's Rita dear. You had a bad reaction to the last does of Morphine. It's making you feel sluggish but it will wear off over the next few hours. The best thing you can do is sleep for now Honey."

Those words and the touch on his other wrist, brought a new agitation to the young man in the bed and his eyes forced open again and his breathing labored a little.

"NO! ... Don't wanna ... sleep ... anymore. "

Mike quickly intervened, his other hand this time seeking out Steve's cheek instead and pulling his face back to look at him.

"Alright. Don't get uneasy now. Rita's right. Until those drugs leave your system, you're better off sleeping them off. "

A brief look of terror, fleeting though it was, flickered in the depths of the two green eyes now desperately trying to focus on Mike's face as he spoke and Mike's heart felt like it sank in his chest. He stroked Steve's cheek and spoke comfortingly.

"Have you been having those nightmares again?"

Steve's nod was barely discernible but the moisture that suddenly began to flood Steve's eyes wasn't.

"Ok, ok now. I know. It's going to be alright" Mike uttered quietly, trying to keep his voice calm and soothing despite the inner turmoil Steve's revelation had caused and the confirmation of his worst fears from his arrival back here earlier, that Steve had been stuck in his nightmare unable to escape from it until he had heard Jeannie's reassurances that he was safe.

Steve's eyes seemed to focus a little better but now remained staring unnervingly at the older man.

"Mike? Need ... to tell you ... Something? Can't ... think straight."

Remembering what Rita had told him that Steve had wanted to say earlier he quickly intervened.

"Hey, hey now. There's nothing you need to tell me Buddy boy."

But even as the words left Mike's lips, a certain startled look appeared on Steve's face as if he had remembered what he had been trying to and he became agitated again, his hand gripping Mike's with a new found strength and a tear escaping from his left eye and trailing down his cheek as he spoke emotionally.

"MIKE! I'm sorry ..."

Mike placed his hand gently on Steve's lips and interrupted him as he watched painfully as a second tear trailed after the first.

"Hey! Shush now. You don't have to be sorry about anything. Me and Jeannie are the ones who should be sorry to you. We shouldn't have argued like that in front of you. None of it was your fault. NONE OF IT! You hear me now? I'm sorry ... Buddy boy that you witnessed that."

Rita grabbed the blood pressure cuff and wrapped it around Steve's right upper arm, listening to their sorrowful interaction as she proceeded to take his readings. Despite the tightness around Steve's arm caused by the cuff inflating, Rita noticed that he kept his attention focused the whole time on Mike. She heard Mike's voice breaking slightly and she studied him as she saw his eyes moisten too. She watched as he moved his hand and wiped Steve's tears away with his finger as Steve stammered gut wrenchingly again, his words coming out between heaving gasps.

"No Mike ... I'm sorry for ... all the trouble ... I caused ..."

Mike's face froze as he once more regretted the words he had used earlier and he saw how badly they had affected Steve.

"No Steve! You haven't caused any trouble and I had no right to say that you had. If anything you're in this mess because you were trying so hard NOT to cause anyone any trouble. I don't even know why I said it. It was just ... I don't know ... in the heat of the argument I guess ... I never meant it. PLEASE ... please forgive me for saying it and believe me it wasn't true ..."

Steve's eyes met his and his bottom lip wobbled again.

"I ... HAD to call her Mike ... I know I shouldn't have but I ... NEEDED to ..."

That revelation caused Mike's voice to fail him and he merely smiled at Steve through tear filled eyes and stroked the young man's forehead soothingly as he fought to regain the use of his voice. Clearing his throat he finally managed two short sentences.

"I know you did. And it's alright Steve. "

Steve wasn't sure he heard the last part right but a sudden dread filled him and his grip on Mike's hand tightened again in blind panic.

"Did ... Did you send her back?"

Mike knew he needed visual reassurance and so he gently turned Steve's head to his right once more as Rita stood aside.

"No Steve. Look ... She's right over there. She wouldn't leave you Buddy boy."

Steve visibly blinked the tears away to focus better on what Mike was showing him and his eyes lit on Jeannie's sleeping form in the chair.

The sight of her asleep in the chair reminded him of the many times he had seen her that way at his bedside both here in this same room and back at Union Street since the shooting and his emotions rushed to overwhelm him. Now desperately trying to hold back the wracking sobs that were stuck in his throat he heaved and gasped in a heart breaking manner and his reaction at seeing Jeannie sent Mike's emotions over the edge too. Rita watched as Mike covered his mouth with his hand and seemed to struggle to speak and seeing both of them upset, Rita knew she had to intervene. She reached over and cupped Steve's cheek and spoke compassionately.

"No Steve, don't get upset. She's right here. We're all here for you now and everything's going to be fine. I know you're feeling bad right now but tomorrow will be better I promise you. You're doing really well. Your wounds are clear and your vital signs are getting stronger. You kept down that last Nutrition shake and Dr. Lowell is happy with how you're coming along. Things aren't as bad as you think they are. Do you hear me?"

Steve nodded but she could see the upset still burning in his eyes. Knowing that it was Mike's reassurances he really needed to hear, she reached across and touched Mike's shoulder, almost hoping the simple touch would be enough to give him the strength he needed to pull himself together. It worked as Mike caught her eye and he saw her incline her head towards Steve in a wordless entreaty for him to help encourage the young man. Mike cleared his throat but it still took a few seconds for him to get his voice to work as he wanted it to.

"Hey Buddy Boy ... Rita's right ... We're all here for you now Steve. One hundred percent. Whatever you need. You don't have to worry anymore. Jeannie's not going back to Arizona for a week or two. That's good ... isn't it?"

That statement sunk in as Steve finally managed to tear his eyes from Jeannie and he turned his head with great effort back to look at Mike. Still speaking in a distressed manner though, he stammered.

"What about ... her exams Mike?"

Mike smiled proudly at his concern for his daughter's well being.

"Don't worry about those. I should have trusted her. You know Jeannie as well as I do. She has it all worked out and everything under control. She'll study here and then go back and take the exam. She has it all arranged."

"So ... she's staying?"

"Yes Steve ... She's staying."

Steve seemed to contemplate that news for a while before once more questioning Mike.

"And ... you're ... ok with that?"

"Yes Steve. We sorted everything out. I'm just as happy to have her home as you are. Now will you PLEASE stop worrying? You're going to give yourself gray hairs and you're still a bit young to get those just yet, huh?" Mike spoke humorously trying to get Steve to cheer up but it didn't work as he wanted it to.

He could still see the upset churning inside the young man and wasn't sure what was causing it. He exchanged a worried look with Rita who shrugged her shoulders equally at a loss as to what was causing the level of angst he was displaying but seriously considering that the drugs might be causing it. Perhaps he was just sick and tired of the whole situation and fed up of being ill but Mike still felt there was something else going on in the young man's head that he wasn't fully sharing for some reason. Another tear fell and trailed down Steve's cheek as he tore his eyes from Mike and stared at the ceiling.

"Hey, hey come on now Buddy boy. If you don't stop you're going to start ME off too and that would NOT be a pretty sight, let me tell you. What's going on Steve? ... What's upsetting you?"

Steve didn't answer and Mike was getting more worried by the second.

"STEVE? If you don't tell us we can't help you. Come on ... Look at me ..."

Steve dragged his eyes back to Mike and dry swallowed.

"I ... I CAN'T tell you Mike ..."

Mike was stunned by Steve's admission and more than a little perturbed.

"STEVE! It's ME ... You can tell me anything ..."

Steve just stayed staring dolefully at him and he didn't respond but he was breathing fast and remained very upset.

Mike looked back up at Rita briefly and she still looked none the wiser either. Trying to decide how to proceed, Mike moved tactfully along.

"Ok ... Well ... Can you tell Jeannie what's the matter?"

Steve's eyes widened in horror and he shook his head vehemently.

Mike tilted his head and raised an eyebrow in surprise. He didn't want to push him to talk and risk upsetting him even more but the fact that he was not willing to share whatever was bothering him with either himself or Jeannie troubled him greatly.

"Not ... even Jeannie, huh? Steve, well you've got to give me something to work with here. Can you tell me anything at all about what's bothering you?"

Steve closed his eyes and seemed to take an extra long deep breath. Then he turned to Mike and spoke in a wavering voice.

"I ... I don't want ... to lose you Mike ..."

It was Mike's turn to look horrified and he noticed Rita watching his reaction from the corner of his eye. Leaning closer to Steve he placed his hand on Steve's forehead again and spoke firmly.

"HEY! Hey where did that come from all of a sudden? You're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere Buddy boy. We're the ones who almost lost you, remember? What made you think that you were going to lose me? Huh?"

"I ... I need you with me ... to get through this Mike ..."

I know you do Steve. And I'm here for you. Every step of the way. You might need me but not as much as I've needed you these last four years. You've become one of my very best friends Steve and well ... like a son to me. You must know that by now. I'm in this friendship for the long haul. You got that?"

Steve nodded, his breathing easing slightly but there was still something eating him that he wasn't sharing. Mike could both sense it and see it. Desperately trying to boost the young man's spirits he suddenly remembered his earlier phone call and grabbed Steve's arm excitedly.

"Hey! I almost forgot! I was talking to Professor Powell a while ago."

Steve's face fell and instead of looking pleased he looked really worried about hearing the result of that conversation. Mike noted the look and quickly reassured him.

"No, no Steve. It's NOT bad news. He was really sorry to hear about what happened and he said you're not to worry about it and to take as much time as you need to get back on your feet and that he's going to get a substitute teacher in to teach your class until you're able to start. He also said that he'd make sure that the substitute coordinated with you on what gets taught. See that's great news isn't it?"

"Did he ... really say that?"

"Yes Steve. He did ... So you don't have to worry about the job. It's going to be fine and you're going to be a great teacher Steve."

On hearing those words Steve stared unnervingly again at Mike.

"But I ... I thought you didn't approve of me teaching ... You said ..."

"I know ... I know what I said but I was wrong Buddy boy. Very, very wrong. Seems to me I've said a lot of dumb things over the last few weeks but not anymore. I'm behind you on this decision Steve ... All the way. You have my total support. "

"I ... do?"

"Yes you do. So try to cheer up huh?"

Steve forced a smile and nodded reluctantly. His throat felt dry and scratchy and he found himself coughing.

Rita noticed and leaned forward.

"Steve, are you ok?"

"My throat is really dry ... "

Mike reached for the water jug behind him and poured a glass of water and held it out for him to drink.

"Here Buddy boy. Take a few sips of this."

Steve stared at him miserably without moving.

"Mike, I don't think I can lift my head ..."

Mike remembered Jeannie's words from earlier and felt the lump rise again in his throat. Reaching forward he placed his right hand in under the back of Steve's neck and helped raise his head forward a little.

"That's ok Steve. I've ... I've got you " he stated emotionally as he then raised the glass to his lips with his other hand.

As the first cool mouthfuls of water slid down his parched throat, Steve gulped greedily from the glass but Mike pulled it back slightly and made sure he took it a lot slower.

"Hey, hey easy now! Take it slowly Steve ... That's it ..."

Steve took more than half the glass and then seemed to slump back away from the glass.

"You done?"

Steve nodded as Mike laid his head back against the pillows.

"Thanks Mike ..."

He closed his eyes and felt drained, the heavy headed feeling returning with a vengeance as the extreme tiredness consumed him. He stifled a yawn which was noted by Mike.

"Uh, oh ... Someone's getting tired." Mike stated lightheartedly as he watched Steve's eyes open to meet his again.

"I know you said you didn't want to sleep anymore but I think it's probably best that you try and sleep off the rest of that Morphine. What do you say? Huh? Will you try and go back to sleep?"

Steve's eyes were refusing to stay open any longer anyway. The draining emotions, the underlying worry he still held to himself, the effort of trying to stay awake when his body hadn't been physically able to just yet, were all taking their toll and he knew that he had little other choice but to do as Mike asked. He didn't want to talk anymore anyway. He merely nodded as he finally let his eyelids close and stay that way. His breathing took a little longer to settle and Rita remained beside him, monitoring him closely until he seemed to finally slip back to sleep. Once more the tight grip he had on Mike's hand loosened and Mike laid his hand back down on the bed and reaching over he brushed a few stray hairs from Steve's face and wiped very gently at his tear streaked cheek. After several emotional minutes, Mike finally managed to drag his eyes away from Steve and he looked up at Rita.

"I wonder what that was all about?"

Seeing how worried he was, Rita came back around to Mike's side and coming behind him she laid a supportive hand on his shoulder.

"Mike, sometimes the drugs can affect their emotions. Especially the Morphine. Hopefully that's all it was. I'm sure he'll pick up in the morning when he's had a chance to sleep it off and he has you and Jeannie here with him. He did have quite a day yesterday. Sometimes the whole thing can cause an emotional overload. "

Mike looked up at Rita from where he sat and smiled at her attempted encouragement.

"Have you witnessed that before? ... I mean a patient getting upset for apparently nothing?"

"I've witnessed all kinds of things here Mike but we'll just have to wait and see how he is tomorrow. You look tired yourself Mike. Why don't you try to catch forty winks yourself? I'll be in and out all night and I'll keep a close eye on him, don't worry."

Mike reached up and clasped her hand that lay on his shoulder.

"Maybe in a little while but ... not right now. I ... I have a lot to think about ... Sometimes the early hours of the morning can prove to be my best thinking time. You're right. It has been quite a day ..."

"Alright ... Well then can I at least get you a coffee?"

Mike smiled warmly.

"Oh yes, that would be nice thank you ... Just make it thick and black. I think I'm going to need it!"

Rita laughed and patting his shoulder, she turned to leave, calling back as she did

"Do you want sugar in that Mike?"

"No ... No I'm sweet enough" he joked back referring to earlier and then added " But if your shift gets quiet ... ah ...a little company would be nice. "

Rita smiled again and headed back towards him.

"Listen Mike ..."

"Wait ... ah... before you say it. I know I'm probably rushing you a little and like you said you hardly know me and ... well earlier before Steve woke up I thought that maybe we were going to ... That maybe you didn't mind if I ... Oh boy ... this really isn't coming out the way I wanted it to but if you want me to ... well ... back off a bit then I ... well I understand that's all ..."

Rita cupped his cheek again in a loving gesture and smiled once more at his endearing rambling.

"Oh Mike ... You really are a gentleman and yes, if Steve hadn't woken up when he did I think we actually might have but ... well ... it was probably for the best. I can't afford to get distracted when I'm on duty Mike. Not here in CCU. People's lives depend on me and that includes that very special young man over there." she added, inclining her head towards her now peacefully sleeping patient.

Mike blushed and flustered a little.

"Yes, you're absolutely right. No more distractions from me. I promise. At least ... " Mike paused and swallowed hard before adding nervously, hoping he wasn't crossing a line he shouldn't but feeling it was worth the risk anyway " not ... while you're on duty ..."

Rita laughed and without warning bent down and kissed him on the cheek. Slightly startled by the sudden unexpected gesture, Mike smiled wider and beamed at her, grateful that she hadn't been perturbed by his intimation.

"Well what was that for?"

"That was because you really ARE sweet enough Mike. Now I'm going to go and get you that coffee."

Mike continued smiling as he watched her leave and reaching up, he touched his cheek where she had kissed him and then placed his hand against his chest and felt his heart pounding a little faster than normal. He hadn't felt that affected by someone since his beloved Helen and he was only beginning to realize how much he missed the feeling. It made him feel young again and strangely invigorated and he couldn't quite believe that at his age there just might be a second chance at happiness with someone else. He had never even considered the possibility until now and suddenly the future seemed a whole lot brighter.

Looking across at Jeannie he noticed that she hadn't budged and then looking back at Steve, he settled back into his chair and began to try and make some sense of yesterday's events. He wondered if perhaps Steve had seen what had been about to transpire between him and Rita earlier when he had woken up and yet Steve had still seemed very disoriented and probably hadn't registered such an unforeseen event anyway. He frowned as he wondered what they would both make of the development. He wasn't as concerned about Steve somehow. Steve was quite understanding about such things and he really believed that Steve would be happy for him but he wasn't as sure about Jeannie. After their many recent conversations about Helen, he worried that she might think the whole idea was highly inappropriate and a betrayal of sorts. He scolded himself for thinking that far ahead and for once more worrying about something that hadn't even happened yet and decided that for now he would just enjoy the moment for what it was. A wonderful second chance at happiness.

Studying Steve, he found himself wondering also what would happen ultimately between him and Jeannie. If he felt the same way as she did, then he couldn't see any reason why they couldn't work things out and be very happy together but if he didn't then things could get a little awkward and problematic. He then frowned as he remembered that there was something bugging the young man that he wouldn't speak about. For the life of him he couldn't think of anything that could be so terrible that he wouldn't discuss it with Mike or Jeannie. Over the four years of their friendship and partnership, Steve had often confided in him about personal matters to do with various relationships he was involved in and on other occasions concerning his health after several injuries incurred during the line of duty. He had never felt up to now that there was anything Steve would feel uncomfortable sharing with him and his curiosity and anxiety about that fact made him now worry all the more.

The rest of the night passed quite smoothly. Steve had remained sleeping with no more disruptions and thankfully no signs of any nightmares returning. Jeannie had fidgeted once or twice, changing positions in the uncomfortable chair she was attempting to sleep in but again never woke fully, the day's events and the long bus trip having taken its toll on her too. Rita had returned with his coffee a few minutes after she had left but had been run off her feet for the remainder of the night as a new patient had arrived in the CCU and from the shouts and distressing sounds he heard from inside Room Five on and off, Rita had had her work cut out for her, settling the new patient down. Mike dozed in his chair a couple of times but never fully managed to fall into a deep sleep as each time he tried, strange sounds from outside had managed to wake him. At just before five thirty, the door to Room five opened and Mike looked up to see Rita entering and she looked fit to drop.

"Difficult shift ... or difficult patient?" he asked warmly as she smiled and came forward to check on Steve.

"Both! " she answered wearily and then seeing Mike's warm smile aimed in her direction her exhaustion seemed to ease a little.

Having made sure Steve was ok, she made her way back around to Mike's side of the bed and once more leaned against the bed to face him.

"Has he moved much?"

"Hardly at all ... "

"Well that's a good sign. Hopefully he'll feel a little better when he wakes up. Although he's due painkillers soon. The Doctor restitched his wrist and chest last night. They might be a little bit sore this morning ."

"Will they affect him that badly again?" Mike asked with concern.

"No, the dose is much lower now. It shouldn't have as bad an effect on him. But we'll be keeping a close eye on him all the same. I'm sorry I never got back to keep you company. That poor man came down from major heart surgery. He was in a lot of pain but we have him settled now and his wife is in with him too now which helps."

"Oh that's ok. I understand. I even managed to doze myself a little bit."

Mike watched as she ran a weary hand across the back of her neck and winced as she did.

"You sore?"

"Just my shoulders ... Getting old is an unpleasant thing Mike."

Mike chuckled.

"Who are you telling? "

With that he stood up and going behind Rita, he placed his hands on her shoulders and spoke a little nervously.

"Will you allow me to help? I'm pretty good at this stuff ..." he said softly and as Rita nodded her permission, he started to gently but efficiently massage her shoulders expertly.

Rita squirmed slightly under his touch but spoke gratefully.

"Ooh ... You really are good at that. You know I could do with a massage like that at the end of every night shift ... These old shoulders get tied up in knots sometimes ..." she added softly as Mike's ministrations seemed to melt away all the stress of the last four hours.

"Well if you're advertising for that particular job, I might just apply for the position" Mike joked, which made Rita laugh.

Feeling Rita finally relax and the tension leave her shoulder muscles, Mike let go of her shoulders and went to return to his chair but as he moved sideways, his dodgy knee clicked the wrong way and he yelped with the sudden pang of pain that shot up his leg as he reached down to rub it.

"MIKE? What's wrong?"

Biting his bottom lip to stave off the pain as it peaked and then slowly abated, he waved his hand to ward off her concern.

"Oh it's nothing Rita. Just my knee gives me some trouble from time to time. Nothing to be concerned about."

"Your knee? Here sit down and let me take a look."

Horrified at the mere suggestion, Mike merely hobbled over to the chair and sat down heavily and flustered even more.

"No, no really. It'll be fine. Don't worry. I'm used to it by now."

But Rita was not taking any notice and as he sat down, she knelt down and started to roll up his trouser leg.

Stopping her with his hand he spoke in an embarrassed voice, trying to keep his voice down to avoid waking the two other sleeping occupants.

"RITA! ... What are you doing? "

Rita smiled at his over the top reaction and spoke firmly.

"Relax Mike ... I'm just going to take a look at your knee ... I AM a nurse, you know and I can see you're in pain with it. "

Mike flustered a little more as he felt Rita's hand brush along his leg.

"Rita please, there's really no need to fuss. I just tweaked it earlier when Steve fell and as I caught him ... well we kind of ended up on the floor and my knee just locked for a while, that's all. A couple of days and I'm sure it will have worked itself out again."

Rita looked up at him horrified.

"Just tweaked it a little. Mike! You could have damaged it. Will you please just let me look at it?"

Looking back up at Jeannie and Steve to check if they were close to waking up or not he spoke in an embarrassed sounding whisper.

"Well ... what if they ... you know ... wake up and see us?"

Rita laughed.

"See us doing what? MIKE! I'm only checking your knee. Please stop being difficult and let me take a look, ok?"

Realizing how childish he was being, he finally gave in and let go of her hand.

"Ok, ok you can take a look ..."

Rita smiled at Mike's visible discomfort and carefully rolled up his trouser leg until his left knee was fully exposed. Mike squirmed a couple of times at the sensations Rita was causing.

"Mike, are you always so jumpy when people touch your leg?" Rita asked humorously as she started to examine it.

"Not usually ... no. But then it has been quite a while since a woman touched my leg ..." Mike joked back and they both chuckled a little until Rita saw the lengthy scar behind his knee and gasped audibly.

"Dear God Mike! That's some scar. Did it happen on duty?"

"No ... Iwo Jima ..."

Rita's head snapped up at that statement and she saw his smile fade a little.

"You fought in Iwo Jima?"

"Yes ... I guess I'm a glutton for punishment, huh? First fighting for my country and then a Lieutenant with the SFPD."

"Was it a bullet Mike?"

"No ... shrapnel ... Big piece too. They said I was lucky at the time that the nerves weren't damaged more than they were. It doesn't give me too much trouble normally. I guess maybe I just wrenched it the wrong way yesterday."

Rita started massaging the muscle and Mike winced a few times but then he felt it ease a little and he smiled and spoke breathlessly.

"Hey ... You're not so bad ... at that yourself. You know I think ... it feels a little better. "

As he sat and watched Rita massage his knee a little more, he couldn't help the sounds of relief that left his lips as the pain eased under her healing hands.

"Oh that feels good ... Much better ... Thank you ..."

To his horror he looked up and saw Steve's eyes open and he was staring at them in a curious manner. Pulling his leg out of Rita's grip hastily he flustered as he pushed the material back down his leg and nudged a confused looking Rita as he then turned to speak in a highly flustered manner to the young man in the bed as Rita stood up from her kneeling position on the floor.

"Well ... Good morning Buddy boy. Boy. You ah ... You sure slept well ..."

Mike wasn't sure if Steve was actually fully awake or not as he continued to stare at Mike and Rita with a blank and confused look on his face.

"What's the matter Steve? "

Steve finally shifted his gaze from their faces as he saw Mike blushing red and looked down at Mike's leg where the trouser leg now lay half up and half down in his haste to fix it. Realizing now that he had witnessed the incident, Mike flustered even more.

"Oh that! Rita was just looking at my sore knee for me that's all. You remember I hurt it yesterday when it locked up? Say ah ... How are you feeling this morning, huh? Any clearer?" Mike asked, trying desperately to change the subject away from his mortification at being caught in such a strange looking situation.

Steve finally half smiled in his direction, an unreadable look in his eyes that Mike feared meant that it wasn't the last he was going to hear about what Steve had just witnessed. Mike then watched as the young man attempted to cough to clear his throat before replying in a hoarse, raspy voice.

"Yeah ... yeah I feel ok I think. Still a little woozy though. "

He shifted in the bed and then winced as he felt a distinct soreness in the middle of his scar and at his wrist. He looked down at where his chest was hurting and to his horror saw his scar fully exposed with no dressing covering it. He grabbed at the material of his top and pulled it across to shield it from view as his gaze rose and met Rita's.

"Rita ... Why ... why is the dressing gone?"

Mike watched as Rita came forward and covered Steve's hand with hers and spoke compassionately.

"Steve listen to me. Dr. Lowell wanted the dressing off to let the air heal it better. It's ok. You have to stop covering it Steve. " she said softly as she gently removed his hand from his top and opened the material away from the scar again.

She saw his eyes turn to look at Jeannie's sleeping form and then look back up at her with a certain uneasiness showing in their green depths. Feeling she understood his concern she leaned over and spoke in a whisper.

"She's not going to mind seeing it. I promise you Steve."

 **A/N: Hopefully I am being overly pessimistic but I'm having a return of some health issues the last few days and this may affect my updates. Hopefully it won't but if they are delayed you will at least know and hopefully understand why ... :-(**


	30. Chapter 30

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 30

Steve's eyes lowered and he took in the sight of his scar. He then looked back up at Rita and he shook his head ever so slightly.

"I ... can't do it Rita. "

"Yes ... yes you can Steve. It's just mind over matter, that's all. I want you to try and leave it like that for me, ok?"

Steve closed his eyes and sighed heavily and Rita's heart went out to him.

"It will get easier, Steve. I promise. But you have to trust me. "

Steve opened his eyes and nodded unconvincingly.

"Ok ... I'll try ..."

Rita squeezed his right arm gently.

"Good man. Now do you feel up to drinking another nutrition shake?"

The roll of Steve's eyes gave her his silent answer but it didn't dampen her enthusiasm.

"Now listen. You want to get out of here and back home don't you?"

Steve nodded.

"Well then we need to get you back eating and back on your feet and if you don't get some sustenance into you then that's not going to happen anytime soon, right?"

Steve shook his head dolefully.

"Ok well ... Dr. Lowell wants you weighed this morning and ..."

"Weighed?" Steve interrupted unintentionally.

Rita sensed the new anxiety gripping him and spoke again quickly.

"Yes ... Dr. Lowell thinks you've lost a bit of weight since you came in on Saturday and that's what caused the bad reaction to the Morphine last night. That's the other reason we need to get you eating again."

Steve looked down again at his chest and stomach and noticed for the first time since he came in for the angiogram, the same slight protrusion of his ribs that had been there the last time he had left the Hospital. _How come he hadn't noticed it up to this? Had he been so caught up in everything else that he hadn't even noticed he was losing weight again? But then what exactly did he expect? He hadn't been eating again and anything he HAD managed to eat had come straight back up soon after._ It was just another anguished reason why he wanted to cover himself up and not be "on display".

Mike had been watching Rita interact with Steve and saw the tortuous look on his face as she had mentioned him losing weight. He saw Steve look down at his chest and worried by the young man's grim facial expression what dark and negative thoughts were going through this head. He caught Rita's eye and saw that she too had noticed it. Clearing his throat, Mike spoke positively, nudging Steve's left arm as he did.

"Oh don't worry about that Buddy boy. Now that Jeannie's home, she'll feed you up and have you back to yourself in no time at all. You'll see. She's going to bring in some of that food in your freezer so you'll have some proper home cooked food to eat later. That way you won't have to suffer that Hospital stuff. No more omelettes with unrecognizable ingredients, huh?"

Steve looked at Mike and forced a smile but it didn't last long. _He wasn't even sure he could stomach ANY food right now._ Not wanting to sound ungrateful he spoke as cheerfully as he could muster.

"Yeah ... Yeah that's great Mike."

Unfortunately his cheerful attempt had sounded rather flat and Mike once more looked up concerned at Rita and she took over again.

"Well, first things first. You're due painkillers but don't worry. This time they wont knock you for six. They'll just take the edge of that pain you're in. He wants you to try and take them in pill form this morning so that we can wean you off the injections. Then we'll get you weighed and then Dr. Lowell wants you to try and drink ... ah ... three of those shakes this morning. "

"THREE?" Steve found himself raising his voice in disbelief but lowered it again quickly as he saw Jeannie fidget in her sleep in response to his loud voice.

All three of them watched silently as she seemed to settle back to sleep and then Steve caught Mike's eye and whispered.

"Sorry ..."

Mike grabbed his hand and spoke in a whispered tone.

"Ok now. Don't worry. You can drink them slowly. Can't he Rita?"

"Yes, just take your time and you'll get through them in no time at all. Then if you keep those down which I'm sure you will, the Doctor wants you to try eating real food this afternoon and then we're going to try and get you up walking around a little to build your strength back up. If you keep up this current rate of progress you'll be out of here in a matter of days."

"See ... that sounds good, doesn't it Buddy boy?"

Steve nodded again but didn't seem convinced.

"Ok, I'm just going to get your medication for you and that shake, alright?"

Another halfhearted nod followed from Steve and Rita left the room, first exchanging a surreptitious, encouraging glance with Mike before she did.

As the door to the room closed, Mike pulled his chair closer to the bed, still maintaining his grip on Steve's hand as he did.

"Look Steve, I know this has been very difficult for you and ... I know it doesn't feel to you as if things are getting any easier but they are Buddy boy. So do me a favor will you and try to shake it off, huh?"

Steve's head turned in Mike's direction and he looked curious.

"Shake what off?"

Mike's face lit up in a smile.

"That dark cloud that's hovering right above your head ..."

Steve stared at Mike for a minute and then finally the first semblance of a real smile started to appear.

"I guess I have been a bit of a misery guts lately, huh?"

"Well ... you've had good reason but ... things are looking up even if you can't see it. Trust me will you? It's all up hill from here."

Then reaching over and ruffling Steve's hair teasingly he added "So bring back that smile of yours will you. I've ... I've missed it ..."

Steve's grin widened and Mike took heart from the sight.

"Ok ... "

Steve knew Mike was right. He was letting the blues get a hold of him and he had to try and shake them off. He especially didn't want Jeannie to see him that way either so he was going to have to try harder to remain positive. Suddenly remembering what he had woken up to earlier, he decided it would be a good distraction from his own miseries to question Mike about it.

"So ah ... Tell me Mike ... What's going on between you and Rita?"

Mike's smile faded quickly as he flustered at Steve's unexpected question.

"What are you talking about?"

Steve chuckled at Mike's reaction.

"You know what I'm talking about ... that little knee massage you seemed to be enjoying so much earlier."

Steve watched Mike blush visibly and smiled as he heard him stammer defensively.

"It was NOT a knee massage. She was ... just medically assessing it that's all ..."

Steve started to laugh.

"Medically assessing it huh?... And was she medically assessing anything else?"

Another look of horror crossed Mike's face and he swatted at Steve playfully.

"She most certainly was NOT ... What kind of a question was that? "

Steve chuckled again and then tried to be serious.

"Ok, ok I'm sorry ... You're right ... That was uncalled for but ... "

Wagging his finger at Mike in a teasing manner he added ... "You do like her don't you?"

Mike was still blushing uncontrollably.

"Well of course I like her. She's very charming and sweet and ... well she's a good nurse. What's not to like?"

Steve stopped smiling and stared at Mike unnervingly for a few minutes. He studied Mike for several seconds more before he spoke seriously.

"Oh Man! You have the hots for her, don't you?"

Mike dry swallowed and his jaw dropped.

"Well what kind of a saying is that? What's the matter with you young people these days? The HOTS for her indeed. What's that supposed to mean in layman's terms exactly?"

Steve laughed again and knew by his flustered reaction that he was right but he decided to play along anyway.

"Well ok, if you really want me to spell it out for you. You're sweet on her, aren't you?"

Mike opened his mouth to protest and deny it but found he couldn't bring himself to. He knew he would probably let himself in for some teasing if he admitted it but suddenly he didn't care. Taking a deep breath he answered nervously.

"Yes ... I'm sweet on her as you put it. Actually I ... well I like her a lot. So go on ... Have your fun ... Take your best shot ... "

But to Mike's surprise, Steve didn't tease or laugh at his answer ... Instead his face went deadly serious and he spoke with a strange tone to his voice.

"I think that's great Mike ... I really do ... She seems like a really nice person ... You two would make a nice couple ..."

Mike was deeply touched by Steve's reaction. He had expected him to be understanding but he had thought that Steve wouldn't be able to resist having just a little fun at his expense but instead he was taking the whole thing very seriously and Mike was grateful to him for it.

"You really think so?"

Steve nodded.

"Yeah ... I really do. Does ah ... Rita know ... how you feel about her?"

"Yes ... I kind of told her out straight ... I guess when you get to my age, life is a little too short for playing hard to get huh?"

Steve smiled proudly.

"And ah ... what did she say?"

"She hasn't said too much but I think she likes me too. We seem to have a lot in common. She lost her husband a couple of years ago. You know Steve it's funny but I never thought ... well I never even considered that maybe ... I'd get another chance at being happy with someone ... you know? I mean ... Who knows, right? Maybe there's still hope of that happening."

Steve stared at the older man and then glanced over at Jeannie. Mike noticed the sad look that seemed to cross his face and he wondered what was going through his mind. Reaching out he tapped Steve's shoulder gently.

"Hey ... You ok?"

Steve never took his eyes from Jeannie but spoke a little shakily.

"Yeah ... yeah I'm fine. "

"Hey, look at me now ..."

Steve slowly turned his face back to look at Mike but didn't catch his eye. Mike could see that something was still really bothering him and he still wasn't sure what it was.

"Does it bother you about me liking Rita?"

"No, no of course not. I'm happy for you Mike ... Really ..."

"Well you're saying you're happy but you don't look it. Your ah ... emotions really are all over the place these days, aren't they?"

"Is it that obvious?"

Mike smiled.

"Just a little."

"Have you said anything to Jeannie?"

Mike's face grew serious again.

"No ... No, not yet ... And I'd rather you didn't either if you don't mind ..."

"Why not Mike? She wouldn't mind."

"I'm not so sure about that Steve. Well it's a little more complicated than that. What with her Mother and all ... I mean I don't want her to think that I'm trying to replace her Mother because no-one ever could ..."

"Mike, Jeannie wouldn't think that. She'd want you to be happy ... and Helen would too."

" Maybe ... But just let me tell her when the time's right ok?"

"Ok ... if that's what you want."

Just as those words left Steve's lips, a sleepy sounding voice drew their attention.

"Tell me what ... when the time is right?

Jeannie yawned and sat up and stretched as Mike flustered.

"Just that we're both glad you're home and staying for a while Honey. Did you sleep well?"

Jeannie yawned and stretched a second time and spoke sleepily.

"Like a log ... "

Mike watched as she stood slowly and started folding the blanket that had been draped around her. With her back turned to them Mike glanced at Steve to see if he was shocked by his little white lie but instead he saw him fumbling trying to close his top in a panicked gesture. Not having much success with his sore wrist hampering his progress he whispered desperately sideways to the older man.

"Mike, help me close my top ..."

"Steve ... Listen, Rita said ..."

"I KNOW what Rita said Mike but ... PLEASE ... Please Mike ..."

Steve looked distraught and something in the young man's voice sounded so desperate and inconsolable that Mike felt he couldn't refuse. Reaching over Mike grabbed both sides of Steve's pajama top and started buttoning it up. He could feel Steve almost shake with relief under his ministrations and heard him whisper as he did.

"Thanks ... Mike ..."

When the top was done up, he pulled the sheet up too over Steve's torso and looked back up to where Jeannie was now placing the folded blanket over the back of her chair and then she turned and headed towards them. Her hair was tousled and she still looked a little tired but her smile was as bright as ever as she approached Steve's bed.

"Hey Steve, how are you feeling?"

Mike watched Steve's reaction closely and saw that he was trying to calm himself down after his brief moment of blind panic and yet he smiled back at her as if it hadn't happened.

"I feel ok Jeannie, thanks ... "

She moved forward and sat on the edge of his bed and reached her hand gently over to stroke the side of his face. Mike felt him tremble slightly as she did from where he still had contact with Steve's other arm and he kept his eyes peeled on Steve, trying to figure out what was going on with him all of a sudden.

"You were very restless last night Steve ... " Jeannie continued. "Were you having nightmares?"

Steve looked briefly at Mike, as if silently pleading with him not to contradict him before answering somewhat shakily.

"Ah no ... Must have been the effects of the drugs ... You know how they affect me sometimes."

"Yeah I do ... Look Steve about yesterday. I'm so sorry for all the upset we caused you ..."

Steve didn't allow her to continue, interrupting her and reaching across to grab her hand with his good hand at the same time.

"Forget it ... It's alright Jeannie ... You don't have to be sorry ..."

"Yes Steve ... I DO ... We shouldn't have argued like that in front of you. It wasn't fair and ... I'm sorry I broke the promise I made to you by needing to come back. I'll never break another promise to you ever again. I swear ..."

Steve smiled at her and felt his emotions starting to unravel again. Her touch against his cheek was distracting to say the least and he could feel Mike's gaze burning into him from his left side, watching his every move. He took several deep steadying breaths and tried to answer but he couldn't get his voice to work. As if in answer to his unspoken prayers, the door opened and Rita returned with his painkillers and his Nutrition shake at that moment and Steve felt grateful for her sudden intervention.

Jeannie stood up from her seat on his bed and moved aside, allowing Rita to take her place. The first thing Rita saw was Steve's covered up scar and she froze momentarily as she watched Steve's cheeks redden under her gaze. She sent an admonishing stare in his direction and he looked away embarrassed. But then to his surprise she squeezed his arm and when he risked another glance up at her face he saw sympathy and a definite look of understanding.

"Were you feeling the cold Steve?" she asked innocently but Steve knew she was really referring to his attack of cold feet at Jeannie's awakening.

He merely nodded and then with Mike's help they managed to sit him up a little and she handed him the two pills and a glass of water. Throwing them into his mouth without argument, he took a mouthful of the water and swallowed them down efficiently, feeling it was the least he could do seeing as she could have made a scene about his covered scar in front of Jeannie but didn't. She continued to watch him uncomfortably though as she then held out the shake for him and watched him drink some from the straw.

The next few minutes proved equally distressing as Rita brought into the room the scales for him to stand on in order to get him weighed. It took a worrying amount of effort to get Steve up on his feet and Mike practically held up upright at first, only releasing him for mere seconds as Rita took the reading. He quickly grabbed him again though as he felt Steve legs weaken and between them they got him back into bed and settled again. That one simple task had taken a lot out of the young man and he had slumped back against the pillows when he had been returned once more to the comfort of his bed. Watching Rita write her findings into his chart and watching her flip the pages back towards the beginning of his file, he watched her anxiously before his patience ran out quickly and he found himself asking nervously.

"Well? Have I ... lost much weight?"

Rita frowned as she compared his current weight to the last time he had been to Dr. Lowell's Outpatient clinic but not wanting to discourage her patient any further than she could see he already was, she merely smiled and answered in a matter of fact tone.

"Yes ... A little ... But we'll soon put that right, don't worry. "

She handed him back the shake to drink more from but he wasn't letting the subject drop.

"How much Rita? Tell me will ya? Is it a lot?"

She knew he wasn't going to let it go so she replied reluctantly.

"You've lost eight pounds."

All three people in the room watched as Steve took that news hard. It meant he had lost all the weight he had managed to put back on since leaving the Hospital the first time. He figured he had probably lost some over the days he had managed on his own back at his apartment but most of the weight loss had probably taken place during the last two tortuous days. It was obviously the reason he was feeling so weak and unsteady and he closed his eyes and ran his good hand through his hair anxiously, suddenly wishing he was alone in his misery rather than having to put up a front for the benefit of those in the room. He didn't say anything in response so Rita continued in an upbeat manner.

"I know that sounds daunting Steve, but we'll get it back on you, don't worry. But you must try and drink and eat what we give you today, ok? How is the nausea today? You've been getting anti sickness meds since last night. Are they working?"

"Yeah, I ah ... I think so. I don't feel sick at the minute."

"Well that's good. Try to drink more of that and when you're finished we'll get you another one."

Remembering how unpleasant his dramatic weight loss had been the last time, he merely nodded his head and starting sipping from the shake again with renewed purpose. He knew he couldn't afford to lose any more and at least he did seem to be keeping the shakes down. Rita heard Jeannie stifle another yawn from behind her and turned to her momentarily.

"If you'd like to freshen up a little, there's a restroom across the corridor Jeannie. I can get you some toiletries if you need some and show you where it is. I'm going to get some too and give Steve a freshen up as well.

"Oh that would be great, thanks Rita." Jeannie beamed as she picked up her handbag from the door and turned to speak to Steve.

"I'll be back in a little while, ok?"

"Sure ... Ok ..." Steve answered .

Rita turned to follow Jeannie out but first she turned towards Mike.

"Mike? Can I get you anything?"

Steve smiled at the extra sweet tone she used with Mike and he saw Mike fluster accordingly.

"Oh no thanks Rita. I'm fine for the moment. I'll go get myself a coffee while you're cleaning up Steve."

Rita smiled at the older man and then left. Steve turned to stare at Mike.

"What?"

"She really likes you too Mike."

"You think?"

"Yeah, I'll say. It was written all over her face. You've made quite an impression on her."

Mike blushed again.

"Oh, I don't know about that ... She's probably just being polite ..."

"Mike, that wasn't just politeness. I think she's ah ... got the hots for you too!" he added playfully.

He earned another playful swat from Mike who then laughed and squeezed his arm sympathetically.

"Don't worry about the weight loss, alright? It's going to be ok. You'll put it back on."

Realizing that Mike's perceptiveness was in full working order this morning, it was Steve's turn to blush.

"What if ... I can't Mike?"

Mike smiled even wider.

"With Jeannie's home cooking, that's not going to even be a possibility. And I should know ... " he added lightheartedly, patting his stomach as he spoke.

That brought Steve's smile back and he nodded gratefully at the older man. Rita returned then with a bowl of warm soapy water and a towel and Mike excused himself to go and get a much needed boost of caffeine after his relatively sleepless night for the second night in a row. Now that there was just Rita and Steve left in the room, he saw the older nurse frowning in his direction and knew why.

"I know ... I know what you're going to say ... I'm sorry ... I just couldn't Rita ... not in front of ... Jeannie ..."

Rita's frown softened. She took his hand and spoke softly.

"Why not Steve?"

"I don't know ... I just don't want her having to look at it, that's all ..."

Rita studied him closely and saw the torment from earlier in the night resurfacing in his green eyes.

"But you don't mind Mike seeing it, right?"

"No ... I guess not ... Are you going to tell on me to Dr. Lowell?"

Rita smiled.

"No ... He doesn't have to be told EVERYTHING you know but ... you need to deal with this Steve. The longer you try to hide it from people, the worse complex you're going to get about it. You know that, don't you?"

Steve nodded downheartedly.

"Yeah ... yeah I know that. "

"We're going to have to start more desensitization techniques today. Dr. Lowell has insisted on it. I was hoping to get one in before my shift ends at eight. It's six thirty now. You know Steve, if you seriously want to get over this complex you have about her seeing your scar, you should maybe get Jeannie to do some desensitization techniques with you before the first session. It will help you get used to her seeing it AND make it easier for you when we do the techniques later. "

Steve looked horrified at the prospect.

"What? Let her TOUCH it? Oh no ... I don't think so ... No ..."

"Think about it ok? I told you it's easier for now if you get someone else to do it for you and I honestly don't think she'd mind one little bit. You just think she would but I think you're wrong Steve. "

"Absolutely NOT ... No way ..." Steve continued protesting and as she started to clean him up a little she felt the distinct tremor her words has caused.

Starting to put two and two together, Rita watched him closely as she worked and began to wonder if there was more to Steve's phobia than he was letting on ... Thinking back to all their interactions regarding Jeannie since he had arrived into CCU late Saturday afternoon, Rita began to wonder if there were more to Steve's feelings for Jeannie than he was letting on to everyone around him.

After Steve was freshened up and looked tidier, Rita took some blood to send to the Lab to check his blood sugar levels after the Glucose drip had finished and then sat him up a little more and after much pleading from him , she agreed reluctantly to let him keep his top buttoned up half way. As a half way concession Steve agreed to the terms but wasn't entirely happy with it all the same. There was still too much of his scar on view for his liking. Dr. Lowell had called for Rita at the nurse's desk shortly after and by seven o'clock Rita came with the good news that due to his progress with managing to consume two of the nutrition shakes and his vital signs still remaining strong, he was to be disconnected from the heart monitor and the drip for now which meant the welcome good news that he was no longer connected to any wires or drips, which paved the way nicely for him to be able to get out of bed later with a physiotherapist and do a little light walking. It also meant he could now go to the restroom down the corridor with help if he needed to. Mike had returned briefly after his coffee trip but a phone call had come through for him from Olsen and he had gone to take the call at Reception. Rita was filling out Steve's chart at the Nurse's station in readiness for the handover at the end of her shift when Jeannie arrived back into Room five to keep him company.

Jeannie looked tidier now, her hair brushed perfectly into place and her face had that same youthful glow to it that always brightened every room she walked into. The morning sun was now starting to beam in through the blinds and Jeannie crossed to the window and opened them a little to show Steve the beautiful blue sky and bright morning that lay outside.

"Oh it looks beautiful out there today Steve but don't let the sun fool you. It's still a little chilly out there this morning. You look a lot better this morning Babe. Did that freshen up make you feel better?"

"Yeah ... I feel a little cleaner and ah ... less clammy ..."

Jeannie moved forward and sat down, bypassing the chair to perch on the edge of the bed beside him instead. Steve reached up automatically to cover the top half of his scar with his hand to shield her from seeing it, cursing his weakness in that regard inwardly and thinking how disappointed Rita would be in him if she knew what he was doing.

"Who is Mike on the phone to, Steve? I passed him on my way back and he sounded as if he was going to be a while."

Steve laughed nervously, her close proximity to him having its usually dizzying effect on him.

"Olsen ... And yes, knowing the Captain, that phone call could take a while."

She smiled and leaned forward into his personal space, her newly applied familiar perfume strangely intoxicating and unnerving.

"I'm so glad Mike has agreed to let me stay. I've been so worried about you Steven Keller."

"You ... have?" he stammered back.

"Yes ... But I see you're still hiding that scar from me again. Steve? Why don't you want me to see it?"

Jeannie's unexpected words brought a strange new panic to Steve and he felt his heart rate increase, grateful suddenly that the monitor had been recently disconnected and wouldn't alert Jeannie to the effect she was having on him.

"I just ... don't want you to, that's all. It's ah ... not very nice to look at ..."

Jeannie felt that she needed to show Steve that she didn't mind seeing it and that it shouldn't be an issue between them and that now was as good a time as any to do just that. Rita had met her on her way back too and had told her about his problem with her seeing it and also told her about the possible benefit of her helping to desensitize it for him. Poor Steve was none the wiser of that conversation and remained extremely ill at ease as Jeannie now hovered very close to him, unsettling him in more ways than she could have possibly ever imagined she could. He was trying to keep a calm exterior but it was becoming increasingly more difficult by the second.

To Steve's added horror she reached up gently and tried to remove his hand from its resting place on his scar. He fought against her attempt, breathing heavily and stammering almost incoherently.

"Jeannie ... what ... what are you doing?"

"I want you to show your scar to me Steve. I won't be horrified by it ... I promise you ... Look no crossed fingers this time." she added humorously, showing him both hands, as she could hear his audible discomfort and tried to put him at his ease.

She pulled his hand to one side and he sucked in a deep breath as she looked down at the top of his scar. He wanted to look away but found himself instead glued to her reaction, expecting to see revulsion in her eyes but pleasantly surprised when he didn't. To his added horror she pulled down the covers and started unbuttoning his top. He grabbed her hand to stop her and pleaded breathlessly.

"JEANNIE! ... Please ... don't ..."

But Jeannie was determined to help him and knew that she was going to have to break through his worst fears in order to do just that. She looked him directly in the eye and spoke calmly and confidently.

"It's ok Steve ... You need to leave this open. Rita said so ... You've hidden it too long from me ... From everyone ... Let me see it. Please? It's ok ..."

He wanted to yell at her to stop as tears rushed to his eyes at her earnest request. God knows she had earned the right to see it after all she had done for him over the last few hellish weeks but something inside him was screaming at him not to let her. He stared into her deep blue eyes and found his hand letting go of hers almost against his will. He couldn't refuse her, no matter how much his head was telling him to. He stared at the ceiling as he felt her continue to open the buttons slowly one by one and then sucked in a tortuous breath as he finally felt the fabric give way and fall to each side of his chest exposing the full length of his scar to her eyes. He waited to hear her gasp or sob but no such sound came. He slowly lowered his eyes from the ceiling tiles and met hers staring at him as he did.

"See ... It's not that bad Steve. You shouldn't feel bad about it ..."

Her words released a single distraught sob from his throat as he spoke in a heart wrenching tone.

"I ... I look like Frankenstein Jeannie ..."

Jeannie smiled warmly and reaching up she cupped his cheek and spoke softly.

"No ... No you don't. Besides you don't have a bolt either side of your temples. "

That brought a nervous out of place chuckle from him as he tried to offset her humor with some more.

"I have been looking a little green lately though. Huh?"

A solitary tear fell from his left eye and he blushed as he felt it escape. Before it had a chance to fall far Jeannie wiped it away and then to his gut wrenching horror he watched as she moved her hand from his face and moved it towards his scar.

"Oh God Jeannie ... NO!"

She laid her other finger on his lips gently as her other fingers gently continued their journey and touched off the stitches with the lightest of touches he had ever felt before. He almost froze as her fingers connected and the sensitive nerves burned in response. His breath was now coming in uncomfortable heaves and he once more pleaded with her to stop but at the same time knowing Jeannie well enough that when she put her mind to doing something, it would be too hard a task in his current condition to change her mind.

"Jeannie I can't let you ..." was all he managed to utter as she trailed her fingers up along his scar from the bottom right up to the top and the nerve endings burned and came alive beneath her fingertips. Another tear escaped and rolled down his cheek soaking into his pillow as she spoke even more encouragingly.

"Shush now ... It's ok Steve ... I don't see your scar as an imperfection. I see it as the reason you're still here with us and I'm grateful for it ... You're alive because of this scar Steve. You should be proud of it ... I am ... And I'm proud of you for how strong you've been ..."

Steve stared at her gratefully, the words she had just spoken meaning more to him than she would ever know. He fought against letting another tear escape as he blinked it away and tried to settle his breathing that was now very irregular as he struggled with the oversensitive nerves that were now torturing him all over again as her fingers continued to move ever so gently back down his scar. Hitting a particularly sensitive spot, Steve couldn't help almost yelling.

"Oh Jeannie! Not there ... "

Jeannie stopped her hand where it was and glancing down between them she saw the spot at the middle of his chest where it had been newly stitched, her hand now lifted from it slightly.

"Is it more sensitive there?"

"Yeah ... " was all he stammered as he gasped for breath and stared at her.

"Then I'm going to have to distract you for this part so ..." she replied curiously, caught up in the moment and feeling that what she was doing now was helping him, she found herself unwilling to stop.

"What?" he asked anxiously as she suddenly leaned even closer to him and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he tried to draw back into the pillows further from her, unsure what she was going to do next.

"Jeannie ... Babe what are you doing? Whatever you're thinking ... Stop ok?"

But before he could utter another word, Jeannie had leaned forward and started to kiss him. He baulked at first, resisting the movement of her lips on his but as it continued he found himself unable to resist kissing her back as passionately as she was kissing him. Several seconds later, he came to his senses and fearful that Mike or Rita could come in at any second, he found the willpower he needed to gently push her away from him at arms length. Struggling to get his senses and breathing back under his control he stammered incredulously, his worst fears coming true.

"God Jeannie! Why did you do THAT?"

Jeannie was slightly confused by his reaction. She had been nervous at first hoping she hadn't been reading his signals wrong and knowing that she was taking a big risk by kissing him but his passionate return of her kiss had made her feel that she had been right and that he did feel the same way for her as she did for him. But now he seemed horrified by what had just happened. He was watching the doorway in an alarmed fashion and was still holding her at arms length away from him, however weak and trembling his arm was.

"I was just distracting you Steve. It ah ... worked didn't it?"

"What?" he asked confused as she indicated down to his scar with her eyes and as his gaze followed, he saw her hand now lying right against the most sensitive part of his scar, leaning heavily and yet he didn't even feel it. He tried to comprehend what had just happened and yet he found he couldn't think straight.

"See? It helped ... Look Steve, I'm sorry if I was out of line. I just wanted to help and I thought ... Well it seemed at the time like you ... enjoyed it as much as I did ..."

Steve didn't want her to feel bad but he couldn't let that happen again. He had enjoyed it ... perhaps even a little too much. But he couldn't give in to his feelings for Jeannie. He owed it to Mike to not let it develop into anything more than a deep bond of friendship. He shouldn't have let her kiss him. It was what he had avoided for so long, despite how not doing so had almost ripped him apart inside at times. He felt his arm weaken and found himself secretly praying for the strength he needed to rectify the mistake he had just made. He was finding it hard to speak, his lips still tingling from where Jeannie's lips had been recently pressed against them, his throat suddenly feeling bone dry and his heart now hammering in an untimely fashion beneath his highly sensitized scar.

Dry swallowing painfully he spoke in broken phrases, hoping his words wouldn't wound her too much but feeling he needed to say them to return things to something even resembling normality between them, even though he was quite sure nothing ever would be the same again. Not after that ...

"Jeannie, that shouldn't have happened ... It was ... it was wrong Jean."

"Why was it wrong Steve? It felt right to me ..."

Every nerve in his body was screaming at him that his words were betraying his true feelings but he felt strongly that Mike would not approve of what had just happened and he felt torn between his feelings for Jeannie and the strong bond of friendship he held with Mike. Mike had become like a Father to him and he couldn't let this come between them not now when life was already pulling them in two separate directions already. Not quite sure where he was dragging the courage up from, he spoke again reluctantly.

"I'm sorry Jeannie ... We can't ... we can't let that happen again ... I ... I need you to ... leave for a while Jeannie ... I need to be alone. I ... I can't do this ..."

Jeannie pulled back and looked devastated by his words. Her eyes filled with tears at his words and Steve felt lower than a snake for saying them. He wanted to take them back. To tell her he loved her more than anything but he couldn't ... He watched as she backed away from him and it took all the willpower he had left to resist the urge to grab her back into his arms and apologize for hurting her.

Jeannie couldn't believe what he was saying. Surely she couldn't have been that wrong about his true feelings? If she HAD been, then she had just made a huge mistake and had jeopardized the friendship that she treasured more than anything. She stood up and looked down at Steve who remained staring at her unnervingly, his bottom lip quivering as he waited for her next move.

She saw his visible upset and worried that she had caused it by embarrassing him and felt awful for making him feel worse than he already did. She had come home to help him and now she had crossed a line he hadn't wanted her to. She spoke emotionally as her heart broke inside.

"I'm sorry Steve ... I shouldn't have come home ... I'm so sorry ..."

She turned and hurried out of the room almost colliding with Rita on her way out. Rita watched the young woman leaving in a distraught manner and was torn between going after her and checking on her patient. Deciding her duty was to Steve first and foremost and hoping that Mike would notice and go after Jeannie, she hurried inside the room to check on Steve. He looked equally devastated. He had his hand across his face and his chest was heaving visibly. She noticed his top was open and his scar was exposed. Worried about what had gone wrong between them, she rushed over to him and pulled his hand gently away from his face.

"STEVE? Steve, what happened?"

He was having trouble speaking. He had wanted to shout after her as she had left but felt he couldn't. Now being questioned by Rita, he struggled to form his words.

"Did you put her up to that Rita?"

Seeing his scar as it was, she blushed and flustered.

"Steve, it's a good thing that you showed her. Did she ... react badly to it?"

Rita began to worry that she had made the wrong decision. She had been convinced that she had read Steve's feelings right and that Jeannie would surely be the right one to get him over the issues with his scar but it now looked as if, instead of making it better, it had only made things worse. She waited for his reply and frowned as he dismissed her question.

"I ... I don't want to talk about it. I ... I need to use the bathroom. I think it's all those shakes I've been drinking. Can I ... I walk out there myself?"

Concerned by his current state of mind and health, Rita shook her head.

"No Steve, I don't think you're strong enough for that. Let me just go and get the wheelchair and I'll bring you to the restroom in that."

"NO! I don't need the chair. I can make it. I just need you to help me get there. Please Rita ... No chair."

Feeling somewhat responsible for whatever had transpired between him and Jeannie, Rita felt bad for saying no to him, so she reluctantly agreed to his terms.

"Ok, just let me get your slippers and you have to promise me, you'll take it easy and go slowly. You're still going to be unsteady on your feet for a while, ok?"

Steve nodded and within minutes, she had managed to get him sitting up and had his slippers on, his top rebuttoned and very carefully he had lowered himself onto his two feet and together they had made their way slowly out of Room Five and down the short corridor to their right towards the restroom. On arriving at the door, Steve looked already tired and yet he flustered as she turned the handle of the door.

"No, I can manage from here, thanks ..."

"Steve, you're still very weak. I can't leave you in there on your own. "

Before he could protest, the other nurse called for Rita.

"Rita can you help me with Mr. Alexander for a few minutes please? He's in a lot of pain again. I can't get him to settle."

Rita looked at Anne and then back at Steve, torn between them both.

"Anne, I just have to help Steve first ..."

"I can manage Rita, honest. " Steve pleaded. " That man sounds like he needs you more than me at the minute. I'll wait here when I come out for you to take me back to my room, ok?"

Rita looked dubious but gave in as she heard Mr. Alexander cry out in pain and she saw Anne hurry back towards his room. Grabbing a chair and placing it beside the restroom door, she spoke before hurrying off after Anne.

"Ok Steve. Be careful and sit down there when you come back out and I'll come and get you in a few minutes. Alright?"

Steve nodded as he watched her hurry off and then his eyes caught sight of Mike standing just outside the Double doors of CCU talking to Jeannie who was visibly crying. Mike had her clasped in his arms and looked like he was trying to comfort her. His heart almost skipped a beat as he worried about whether she'd tell Mike what had happened. Suddenly feeling claustrophobic and unable to think straight, he noticed the stairwell door next to the restroom. He had to get out of there where he could think about what he should do next and before anyone else could see him he held the wall as he made his way along to the second door and pulling it towards him, he disappeared through it and into the cold and badly lit stairwell. He grabbed at the railing and looked over as the stairs seemed to descend endlessly below him. Taking a deep breath he wiped another tear from his eye as he slid himself along the railing and started to force his feet to move down the steps and away from the heartache he had just left in his wake.


	31. Chapter 31

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 31

Steve made his way very unsteadily down four flights of stairs but his progress was very slow. There were far too many steps still ahead and he was tiring fast. There was a thin line of perspiration now down the back of his pajama top which in the chilly stairwell was starting to make itself known as it clung uncomfortably to his back. He almost missed a step on the last flight and stumbled forward down the last three together, thankfully landing at least on his feet at the end but the jolt sent painful shock waves through his sternum and aggravated his scar. He sat down heavily on the last step and ran his left hand through his hair which now was also sticky and damp. He was breathing heavily and his legs were starting to weaken. Knowing at his current slow rate, that using the stairs he'd never make it much further before being discovered, he saw another stairwell door beside him to his left and decided to try and get to the elevator instead.

Standing up very slowly for fear the dizziness he felt building in his head would overwhelm him, he made his way to the door and opening it slowly, he peeked out and saw that it led onto a busy corridor. Cleaning staff were polishing and mopping the floor and there were nurses, doctors, catering staff and a couple of patients in pajamas wandering up and down the corridor in fairly regular succession so Steve found he was able to slip unnoticed among them and make his way along the wall, keeping his left hand against it all the way for steadiness, towards the elevator. The corridor was fairly long and by the time he reached the elevator and pressed the button, he was feeling slightly the worst for wear. His top was by now soaked in sweat but the dark navy colour meant that it wasn't as noticeable to those around him as it was to him, having to feel the awful dampness against his bare skin.

Standing at the elevator waiting for it to open, he felt more exposed and drew a couple of curious looks from passers by. He only prayed there wouldn't be anyone in the elevator to question him when it arrived or worse still anyone he knew. Finally the elevator pinged and Steve found himself sucking in a deep breath and holding it as the steel doors slowly opened. Relieved that it was empty, he stumbled inside and pushed the ground floor button quickly but then as the doors closed he saw his reflection in the mirrored walls inside and got quite a shock.

He looked like hell. His face looked ghostly pale and his normal wavy locks were now sweat soaked and lifeless. He ran a hand through it to slick it into some semblance of tidiness and rubbed at his chin and the shadow of stubble that stood out so clearly against the pallor of his skin. The top half of his scar glared at him from the neckline of the v-shaped top and he quickly looked back at the doors not wanting to endure the sorry and depressing sight any longer. To his horror one floor from his destination, the elevator stopped and when the doors opened a male nurse stepped inside. He looked curiously at Steve who merely smiled at him and pressed the button for the doors to close again as casually as his trembling finger would allow. He looked away quickly but he could see the other man's curious gaze from the corner of his eye. He jumped slightly as he felt the man touch his elbow.

"Are you ok Pal? " the man asked to Steve's dismay.

Clearing his throat, Steve smiled and answered as calmly as he could.

"Oh yeah ... I'm fine. I'm just heading to the lobby to pick up a magazine. Time goes pretty slow when you're in Hospital, huh?"

The man seemed to accept his answer and nodded with a smile but Steve was grateful when the elevator doors finally arrived at ground level and he was able to get out of the tight, claustrophobic space and away from his curious elevator companion. He stopped as he exited the elevator and saw a couple of security personnel swarming around the main doors. He wondered would Rita have announced him missing yet or if they'd even be looking for him yet. All he knew was that he wasn't taking the chance just in case. He was so close to getting outside and right now he yearned for the simple feel of the sun on his face and the basic comfort of being out in the fresh air where he felt he would at the very least be able to breathe better and clear his head from all the tormenting thoughts that were now plaguing him and not allowing him any peace.

Squeaky hinges opening somewhere to his right drew his attention and he looked in that direction just in time to see someone exiting a door off to his right. He headed in that direction and getting ever closer he saw through the glass door that it opened up onto the Hospital grounds. Pushing the door open he felt a sudden fresh and cool gust of wind hit his face and he almost felt the tears form again from the relief he felt at being outside. He stumbled forward as best he could and stopped at a bench as far from the door to the Hospital as he could manage to reach, before his legs finally gave out. Sinking onto the empty bench heavily he leaned forward dropping his elbows onto his knees and supporting his head with his left hand, his energy fully depleted and knew that this was as far as he was going to get anytime soon. Another fresh gust of wind blew over him and it brought back bittersweet memories of the day he had been discharged from the Hospital two weeks ago after spending two tortuous and pain filled weeks cooped up in the sterile environment.

That had been a surreal day. Having hardly seen Mike at all for the bones of the two weeks, he had arrived that morning with Dan in tow. There were so many things he had wanted to say to Mike but most of it had remained unsaid as they had made the journey home to his apartment. The goodbye that morning with Mike had been a heart wrenching one and although they had agreed to stay in close contact, the following week had proved quite different in reality. He remembered so vividly watching from the top of the steps to his apartment as Mike had driven away with Dan and feeling almost hollow inside.

The only bright thing he remembered about that day was the fact that Jeannie had stayed with him all day and kept him company. She had slid a hand onto his shoulder that morning as he had watched Mike drive away and he knew she felt his pain and anguish. She had spoken softly and told him to come in and not catch cold and had served him up a bowl of homemade soup, the first of many lovingly prepared meals that would return undigested in the days that followed.

She had put up with his dark moods and the awful silences where she knew he hadn't felt like talking, where she had talked enough for the both of them and he had listened, grateful for the fact that he didn't always have to participate in the conversation except for an occasional smile or a shake or nod of his head. She had tucked him in, held his hand, mopped his brow, cleaned him up, given him his pills at the right time when during those first days at home, time had lost all meaning to him. The only thing that had gotten him through those bleak and hopeless days had been her constant presence. Her soothing voice, her gentleness, her positivity and her ever present smile that he loved so much. During the worst of times, after bad bouts of vomiting when his chest had exploded in pain from the unmerciful retching and the tears had proved unstoppable, he remembered her soft and gentle hands wrapped around his waist, holding him and supporting him, her voice ever encouraging, ever positive. Never judgemental or harsh. Never impatient even though there were plenty of times when she would have had every right to be. And how had he just repaid her? By withdrawing from her affection. By telling her to leave. He blinked away more tears that threatened to fall as he thought of his hurtful denial of her affections.

He felt tired. Worn out and defeated. He righted himself and lay down sideways to his right, his head now resting on the wooden seat, drawing his legs up to lie fully on the seat, his left hand trailing down off the bench, reaching towards the blades of grass beneath his fingertips, that brushed gently off his fingers as they swayed in the strong morning breeze. He no longer noticed anybody that passed him by and stared at him curiously or the fact that over the next few minutes he had gathered a group of two or three bystanders that seemed to be wondering whether to approach him or not. His mind was elsewhere, wondering where he could go from there. If there was any hope left for the days ahead or if he had just managed to ruin and push away the only true family he had left. He closed his eyes as the tiredness took over, the cold breeze barely registering with him, despite his flimsy and damp attire. Nothing truly mattered anymore.

 **CCU : Reception Desk : Roughly twenty minutes earlier :**

Mike had been on the phone to Olsen who had been quizzing him on the first case that he and Dan had wrapped up together during the last week. Having filled the Captain in satisfactorily, Mike had then gone on to ask Olsen for the leave he wanted to take while Steve was recovering and when that had been secured he discussed Dan's position in his absence and then Rudy was just in the middle of asking how Steve was doing when much to Mike's alarm, Jeannie had come racing from Steve's room and had burst into floods of tears. Placing his hand over the mouthpiece, Mike had called over his shoulder as she had rushed past behind him.

"Jeannie? Jeannie, what's wrong?"

She didn't answer but had rushed straight out through the Double doors of CCU. Mike watched her stop outside and saw her crying and quickly spoke to Olsen.

"Listen Rudy, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to call you back ... Ok ... Yes, I'll tell him you were asking for him. Goodbye."

Hanging up the phone at Reception he hurried outside to Jeannie and as she saw him approach, she sunk into his arms and buried her tearstreaked face into his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. All kinds of fears rushed to Mike's mind as he tried in vain to find out from his daughter what had happened to cause such upset.

"Jeannie Honey! What's wrong? Has something happened? "

"Oh Daddy ... " was all the sense he could get from her as she broke down in his arms.

Wrapping his arms tightly around her he settled for trying to calm her down first as he stroked her hair and spoke whispered words of comfort in her ear.

 **Back inside CCU :**

Rita had managed to settle Mr. Alexander but it had taken a good ten to fifteen minutes to do so and so she had then hurried back to where she had left Steve. She expected to see him sitting and waiting for her on the chair she had left for him but when the empty chair came into view, her professional intuition set alarm bells ringing. Fearing that perhaps he had weakened and fallen, she rapped on the outside restroom door urgently calling as she did.

"STEVE? Steve are you ok in there?"

When no answer was forthcoming, Rita's blood ran cold and she turned the door handle, carefully pushing it in for fear he might have fallen behind it. The door opened easily much to her surprise however and as she entered she saw both cubicles empty and Steve nowhere to be seen. Even more concerned now, she exited the restroom and ran to Room five hoping that at worse case scenario, he had struggled back to his room by himself, having tired of waiting for her to return or just to prove to her that he could. His stubborn streak might just make that latter reason all the more plausible but on finding Room five as deserted as the restroom she raced back out into the corridor and only then did her eyes alight on the stairwell door. Her breathing quickened as she knew if he had attempted another escape like he had yesterday, the stairs would be the worst possible choice in his current weakened condition. She hurried for the stairwell door and found herself pausing as she reached it, fearful of what view would meet her eyes when she did. Finally pushing through her fears and the door at the same time she found herself confronted by mixed feelings. With no visible sign of Steve, her fears rose at her still missing patient but there was also a huge part of her that felt relieved at not finding him in a heap at the end of the first flight of stairs either.

"STEVE?" she called over the railing as her voice echoed in the cavernous confines of the stairwell but no answer came or indeed any sound of any distinguishable nature.

Rushing back into CCU, Rita's eyes spotted Mike hugging Jeannie outside the main doors and she headed in their direction to get the help she needed. Mike still hadn't managed to get any sense out of Jeannie yet, the few words of a distraught nature that she had uttered making little sense to her Father but before he could question her more the Double doors burst open and a rather frantic and worried looking Rita appeared through them.

"MIKE? You better come quick. Steve's missing!"

Those words brought another loud gasp of sorrow from Jeannie who trembled palpably in his arms as his own pulse quickened.

"Missing? What do you mean missing? Isn't he in his room?"

Rita shook her head, her own conscience starting to rake on her for leaving him to fend for himself in the first place.

"No, he asked to go to the restroom so I walked him out. Then I got called away briefly to help with another patient. I shouldn't have left him but he insisted he'd manage by himself and I left a chair outside the restroom and told him to sit on it when he came back out and I'd help him back to his room when I finished helping Anne but when I came back there was no sign of him. He's not in the restroom or back in his own room and there's no visible sign that he took the stairs."

Racing back into CCU, with Rita and an upset Jeannie still clinging to his side, Mike's heart skipped a beat at her last words.

"The stairs?"

"Yes ... Mike, the stairwell door is right beside the restroom and ... Oh Mike, I have a bad feeling that's what he did and ... if he did, he's not up to that kind of exertion yet Mike ... Anything could happen. We have to find him and quickly Mike. He was acting strange the last time I saw him but he wouldn't talk about what was bothering him."

"Oh Daddy! It's all my fault! I ... I upset him ..." Jeannie sobbed as Mike pulled her closer and then he took charge as his professional instincts took over, ignoring the deep worry that was forming in his gut at the thought of Steve, weak and upset wandering God knows where and for God knows what reason.

He knew he should probably question Jeannie as to what had happened but she still looked distraught and either way their priority right now had to be to find Steve and then they could clear up whatever misunderstanding or misfortune had taken place. The main concerns were if he were to fall or hurt himself or worse still if he managed to leave the Hospital without medical clearance and so time was of the utmost importance. There would be time to question Jeannie later when she had time to calm down. Deciding on a plan of action, Mike started doling out instructions.

"Ok, we have to find him and we have to find him fast. How long ago was it you saw him Rita?"

"I left him at the restroom not more than fifteen minutes ago."

"Ok, so he possibly has a fifteen minute start on us but he's weak and not too fast on his feet at the minute so hopefully that will stand to us. Rita? Can you alert the main security desk in the Lobby to be on the look out for him and not to allow him to leave but make sure you tell them not to rough handle him. I'll follow the stairs all the way down to ground level just in case that's what he did. However he could easily get back out at any other floor. Rita, you and Jeannie search floor by floor and see if anyone saw him. I'll check the ground level and the grounds too. "

Then turning to Jeannie he clasped both her shoulders gently and spoke lovingly.

"Jeannie, I don't know what happened between you two but whatever it was we'll fix it ok? But right now I need you to help Rita. We have to find him and we have to find him as quickly as possible. I need you on this one, Honey and more importantly Steve needs you. Are you with me?"

Jeannie sniffed and wiped at her eyes, her strong will and her love for both Steve and Mike replacing the upset from earlier in her eyes. She nodded bravely.

"Yes ... we'll find him Daddy ..."

Placing a loving kiss on her cheek, he announced proudly.

"That's my girl. We'll find him alright. Don't you worry. Everything's going to be alright. Your old man says so."

With that he smiled at them both and rushed off through the stairwell door and started down the many flights of stairs.

Rita turned to Jeannie and smiled as they formulated their own plan of action.

"Let's check this floor first in case he didn't go down the stairs at all. You check this side Jeannie. I'll check the other. Then we'll meet at the main doors and head on from there. You ... ah ... don't happen to have a picture of him by any chance in your purse? "Rita ventured, somehow feeling that if her hunches were right that she most definitely would have.

Jeannie's face lit up in a smile as she pulled her handbag around to the front and taking out her purse she removed two photos from the side pocket. Handing one to Rita, Rita saw that it was a picture of all three of them, Mike and Steve with Jeannie seated between them and a birthday cake on the table in front of her.

"It was taken at my birthday lunch earlier this year ..." Jeannie explained shakily as she wiped at her eye one last time to dispel the tear that threatened to fall.

Rita smiled and patted Jeannie's arm gently.

"It's perfect. Come on let's go. We must hurry."

Rita headed off to the left side of the corridor, her first port of call going to be Susan's room to see if she had seen him by any chance. Jeannie stood for a few seconds and stared at the second photo in her hand.

It was a photo of Steve and Jeannie from three years ago. He had been partners with Mike for a year and the three of them had become good friends over that time. She had been due to start college and Mike had taken both her and Steve out for a slap up meal to give her a good send off. Steve looked slightly younger in it and it was a photo booth picture that they had taken on the way back to the car from the Restaurant as they had strolled through the Mall. The evening had taken a sombre turn as the meal had ended, all knowing how hard Jeannie's new college existence in Arizona was going to be on the older man. Trying to keep both their spirits up, Steve had spotted the photo booth and he had thought it would be a bit of fun.

Jeannie smiled as she remembered that Steve had used up every bit of spare change he had had in his trouser pocket that night as all three had taken turns getting shots taken. First Mike and Jeannie, then Steve and Jeannie and then all three of them had attempted the tight squeeze that the booth had provided. They had then distributed the pictures between them so that they all had some as a memento of the night. During their turn in the booth Steve had tickled her as the shot was taken and both of them were laughing in it. The corners were slightly dog-eared and the photo had seen better days. But those simple photos had meant so much to her during the following long and lonely months that had passed in Arizona. She had kept them all but this particular one had always been her favorite. She trailed her finger across the worn, much loved photo, tracing down the side of Steve's face.

"Oh Steve! Where are you? Please be alright" she sighed heavily as a tear fell beside her finger and she brushed it off the picture before heading off to check the first door on her right.

 **Back Outside Approaching Franklin Hospital ... 7:20am**

Sylvia got out of the cab on Duboce Avenue and paid the driver. She always preferred to head into work through the Hospital grounds. The flower beds of vibrant colour and the birds that sang her an early morning serenade from high up in the few tall trees that lined the path were much more appealing to look at and listen to than the early morning traffic and beeping of horns and squealing of ambulance sirens that greeted her from either of the other two main entrances. Clutching her usual polystyrene cup of extra strong coffee and sipping it as she went, she made her way along the small path that led towards the middle of the Hospital Lobby.

As she walked she couldn't help but notice the small group of maybe three or four bystanders that had gathered a few yards away, chatting among themselves and pointing every now and then towards a wooden bench off to their left. As she walked behind them she looked across at what had caught their eye and much to her horror she saw Steve Keller clad only in pajamas and slippers curled up on the bench with his eyes closed. Her heart almost skipped a beat at the sight as she looked urgently around for any sign of Rita or Mike or any member of Staff that could possibly be with him.

Seeing none, she quickly cleared a path through the onlookers, scattering them from their positions using a professional tone.

"There's nothing to see here. I'll look after him. Please move on."

She watched as they started to move off before quickly placing her coffee on the ground and grabbing Steve's wrist as it lay hanging off the bench and searching anxiously for a pulse. On finding a strong and steady one, she almost sighed with relief before trying to rouse the apparently sleeping young man. Carefully shaking his shoulder, she called softly not wanting to alarm him.

"Steve? STEVE? Wake up. Open your eyes for me, come on."

She patted his cheek that felt as cold as ice and Steve's two green eyes, slowly flickered open. He startled a little as he struggled to remember where he was on waking and then as he felt a hand on his arm he looked to his left and saw Sylvia kneeling over him, looking very concerned. He remembered he was outside as the strong morning breeze now made him shiver and the wooden bench underneath made for a hard and unyielding resting place. He slowly went to sit up and Sylvia could see he was very weak and worn out. Getting up from a kneeling position she helped him sit and sat down beside him. She gave him a minute to come around before her questions started.

"Steve? What on earth are you doing out here all on your own? "

Steve looked sideways at Sylvia and a tinge of embarrassment colored his cheeks.

"I ... I just needed some air ..."

He didn't feel like explaining anything else and hoped she wouldn't ask anymore but he knew better and sighed as her questions continued.

"Does Rita know you're out here? Steve? Did she BRING you? "

Steve looked away again in discomfort and looking down at his feet as he huddled now slightly forward, his left arm wrapping around his chest and other arm protectively as he started to feel the cold, he shook his head wordlessly in answer to her question .

"Dear God Steve! What were you THINKING? Rita's going to be worried sick and what about Mike? You can't just wander off whenever you feel like it, you know? You're not strong enough for that. Did you ... My God did you disconnect your cannula?"

"No, no I didn't. It ... It was already disconnected"

She gently grasped his arm and pulling up the sleeve, she saw the disconnected cannula still in place, with no harm done.

"Well at least that's something but ... Steve what possessed you to just leave like that?"

" I just had to get out of there for a while ... I ... I couldn't think straight."

Sylvia could sense the deep angst that was emanating from him and worried inwardly. She cast a quick look around to see if she could see Rita or Mike looking for him but saw no-one. She struggled with what she should do next. Even though she felt that in his current weakened condition, he mightn't get very far, she feared that if she left him to go and get help, that he might not be still there when she got back. She also wasn't sure whether she would be able to get him back inside and back up to CCU without the help of a wheelchair and that also meant having to leave him to fetch one. Deciding she was going to have to broach the subject and assess his feelings about it sooner rather than later, Sylvia took a deep breath and spoke cautiously.

"Look Steve, they must know you're missing by now. They're going to be frantic looking for you. We have to get you back inside. You shouldn't be out here."

Immediately Steve started to panic at her words, confirming what she had feared that Steve was NOT going to be co-operative. He turned his head to stare pleadingly in her direction.

"NO! ... No, I ... I can't go back just yet ... I ... I haven't had time to work things out ... Please Sylvia, not yet ..."

She leaned in sympathetically and placed a hand on his back but before her next words left her lips she felt the clingy dampness of his pajama top, which changed her train of thought temporarily.

"Steve, listen you ... Oh my God. Your top is soaked! STEVE? Steve, please tell me you didn't take the stairs in your condition?"

Steve looked away embarrassed and spoke shakily.

"Some of them ... yeah ..."

"STEVE! That was dangerous. You could have fallen and hurt yourself. You're not up to all those stairs yet. That's why you were perspiring so badly. That's your body telling you you weren't up to it. Steve, you're going to catch pneumonia out here. It's quite chilly this morning and you're sitting here in a damp top with not even a dressing gown. You CAN'T stay out here Steve."

Steve's head shook from side to side as his fears and sadness bubbled over.

"You don't understand ... I've messed everything up ... I had it all and now ... now I just don't even know what's left ... I was so stupid ... So STUPID! "

He practically yelled the last word as he banged the wooden seat with his fist and then leaned forward, his elbow on his knee and his head in his hand, visibly trembling with the upset and uncertainty he was going through. His heartfelt words pulled at her heartstrings and Sylvia knew that she was going to have to change tactics to get him to listen to her. He needed help and she was determined to help him. Ignoring the damp feel of the fabric on his back, she sidled up closer to him and placed her arm around his back as a show of support.

"Steve, I don't know what's happened to cause you to do this or to feel like this but you're not thinking straight Steve. Look, I know you've been through hell these last four weeks. Heart surgery is tough and it brings it's own challenges. It's a long road to recovery and ... Steve they must have told you that you can be prone to depression during it. That's probably all this is ... You just can't see how far you've come. You're getting to a better place but you have to stick it out a little longer ... Everything's going to be ok even if you can't see it right now."

Steve listened to the same encouraging words people kept repeating at him with good intentions but they never helped. He started shaking his head again.

"No ... No you don't understand. It's not that ... I ... did something really stupid Sylvia and I can't ... I can't UNDO it."

As he spoke, Sylvia noticed that he reached down and hid the top of his scar and trying to figure out what was upsetting him so much, she suddenly remembered the alarming reaction he had had to his scar being touched when he was in Recovery and felt that it had something maybe to do with that. Rubbing his back now in soothing circles, she whispered softly.

"Steve? Has this something to do with your scar? Were you running away from the desensitization technique? Is that what you were avoiding?"

Steve heard her words and thought of Jeannie and how she had touched him and remembering the sensuous kiss that had changed everything between them so drastically in mere seconds, he felt his heart break all over again. While her thinking was close to the mark, he couldn't possibly tell her the extent of what had happened and expect her to understand, so feeling that that excuse would suffice for now he merely nodded dolefully, feeling his emotions building and threatening to overwhelm him all over again. He felt Sylvia rub his back and he closed his eyes as he heard her try to talk him around.

"Oh Steve! You CAN'T let that scar define you. It's not WHO you are."

"I ... I don't know WHO I am anymore, Sylvia."

"Well I do. You're Steve Keller. A very brave and special Police Officer who survived getting shot in the heart. The essence of who you are lies deeper than that scar Steve. The scar is just a scratch on the surface, that's all ..."

Steve turned his head again to stare into her brown eyes.

"Ok, it's a pretty BIG scratch but that's all it is Steve. What doesn't kill you in this life makes you stronger. Haven't you heard that before? You're still the same person you always were but ... your path in life has maybe shifted a little. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It's just different. But you can MAKE it how you want it to be Steve. But it's going to take a little blind faith and a lot of courage and that's something I know you have plenty of ... even if you don't know it right now. "

Her words affected Steve more than she could possibly know. _How could he make it to be how he wanted it to be? That wasn't possible. Maybe before that kiss but not now. He wanted to be able to love Jeannie and still have Mike in his life. He knew he couldn't have it both ways and yet he felt couldn't survive this without either one of them._ He shivered violently as that realization struck him and fearing that he was getting too chilled, Sylvia glanced around once more and still seeing no-one looking for him, she felt she had to take the risk to go for help.

"Steve listen to me OK? If you won't come back inside with me then I'm going to have to go and get a blanket or something to put around you. You're freezing cold and that's not good for you in your condition. You're just getting over a bad infection. Will you PLEASE promise to stay right there if I just go get you a blanket?"

Steve stared at her and knew she was really going to go and tell Rita where he was. He knew if she didn't, her job would be compromised and he didn't want to put her in that position. She had been good to him even now when he knew he was acting erratically and not making much sense at all. He nodded sadly, knowing that he wasn't able to run anymore anyway. Left with little other choice but to accept his fate, he leaned back against the back of the wooden bench and sighed heavily.

"Ok ... I promise ... No more running away ..."

Sylvia studied him for several seconds trying to figure out if his words were merely for her benefit but she found herself believing his promise. He looked worn out and defeated and she hated to see him like that. Glancing down on the ground, Steve spoke in an attempt to sound normal.

"Is that coffee?"

Sylvia saw her cup on the ground and smiled, bending to pick it up as she did.

"Yeah ... But it's pretty strong. That's how I like it. You ah ...want some?"

"I'd love some. I haven't had coffee for a while ... But ... I'm not sure it would stay down. "

She stretched out the cup towards him.

"Why don't you try some and see, huh? You might surprise yourself. AND it might warm you up a little while I get you that blanket."

Steve knew the blanket was just an excuse but he took the cup gratefully with a shaky hand.

"Ok ... Thanks ... "

He lifted the cup and drank some and he gasped in appreciation as the black caffeine filled liquid trailed down his throat, the taste he missed these last few days, finally giving him a small pleasurable moment amidst all the angst and misery of his current predicament.

"You weren't kidding about it being strong, were you? But I like it strong. Tastes real good ..." he added, taking another large mouthful of coffee and once more just relishing the small moment of happiness it brought him as he savored the taste he always loved so much.

Sylvia smiled as she watched his reaction to drinking it.

"Looks like you're enjoying that. You said you haven't had much lately?"

Steve shook his head purposefully.

"No ... not for a couple of days and not too much over the last couple of weeks. I've had a few cups here and there but ... well compared to the amount of it I used to drink before the ... the shooting ... very little. I haven't really enjoyed it as much as I used to ... That is ... up until now."

Sylvia welcomed the temporary improvement in his demeanor, glad that at the very least she had been able to provide some comfort to the young man in his time of need, even if her words hadn't helped then at least her coffee had. She decided to use the opportunity to drive home one last lesson.

"Well ... Sometimes Steve ... when we've been without something for a while, it takes us a little while to realize how much we really missed it. Then it makes the enjoyment of getting it back all the sweeter, huh?"

Although Sylvia was speaking about the coffee Steve couldn't help compare her words to his feelings for Jeannie. She was right. Jeannie had been there with him for days on end and he had enjoyed and appreciated her company so much. Then she had left and it was only then that he had fully realized how much he couldn't live without her. He had always cared for her in a special way ever since they met, at that time perhaps more because she was Mike's daughter and then over time he had come to treasure her as a very special friend too. But several months ago, the day of Jeannie's birthday lunch, something had changed. He saw her that day more for the wonderful young woman she had become and not a little girl any more. He knew he had begun to have stronger feelings for her and he had tried to deny it for a long time. While she was in Arizona, that task was easier, the heavy workload and Mike's company proving a worthy distraction but when she came home, he found himself wanting to be around her more. Almost physically needing to be. He knew that it couldn't be but he yearned for it all the same. Since the shooting, the closeness they had shared out of necessity had pushed them even closer together and his love for her had strengthened considerably. Only now it was getting harder to deny. And then today he had given in to those feelings and THIS is where it had lead him."

Watching him closely as he seemed lost in his thoughts, she continued her encouraging speech purposefully.

"Steve? Just like that coffee, you'll enjoy all the things you used to again. You just might have to search out the things you want and you'll have to put a little effort in to reap the rewards, that's all. But you'll get there, I promise you ..."

Steve smiled at Sylvia. Even without fully knowing it she had helped him more than she knew. She was right. It was time to stop avoiding things. He had to finally tell Mike the truth and face the consequences ... even if that meant risking everything he cherished. Things couldn't go on the same as they had before. Jeannie had taken that first brave step and yet he had panicked and pushed her away. He loved her with an ache in his heart that surpassed any pain the bullet ever caused. He needed to tell her. The truth had to come out. No more running or hiding from it regardless of what he stood to lose.

Sylvia resumed her rubbing of his back and smiled warmly.

"You ok? You looked a million miles away. "

For the first time since she had found him there, Steve smiled at her genuinely and then he went to hand her back her cup.

"Here, you better take your coffee back before I drink it all. And ah ... thanks for letting me have some."

Sylvia pushed it back towards him.

"Keep it. My treat. I can always get another. I think you need that coffee somehow more than me right now."

He smiled again and drank some more gratefully, hoping the coffee and the intense caffeine hit it would provide would give him the courage he needed, to do what he knew he had to do.

 **Back Inside The Hospital:**

Mike had raced down every flight of stairs to the Ground floor anxiously, half expecting to find Steve in a heap somewhere along the way. When he reached the final flight he sighed heavily with relief at not finding Steve there and entered the Lobby through the stairwell door. Rushing toward the main doors, slightly out of breath from the intense worry and the added exertion of coming down numerous flights of stairs, he approached the two security men that were hovering at the entrance.

"Hi there! Did you get a call from CCU about a missing patient?"

"Yes Sir ... we did but no-one matching his description and wearing pajamas has passed through the main doors since we took that call. That I can assure you ..."

Mike sighed once more, relieved that perhaps they had managed to head off Steve before he could make it outside but then the taller of the two security men spoke again dashing those hopes instantly.

"However as you can see we get a good few patients coming down to the Hospital shop. So that's not to say that he hasn't been down here."

Mike looked around and saw what he meant. The Hospital Lobby was very busy, a bustling selection of staff, civilians and pajama and dressing gown clad people providing a steady flow of people to and fro. Mike searched the crowd for Steve but frowned at the enormity of the task at hand and so turned back to the Security man to try and improve his odds of finding him.

"Are there any other ways of leaving the Hospital from this Lobby apart from through those doors?"

"Yes ... There's two. Through the ER but that would be through the ambulance entrance. I don't think he'd make it through there dressed as he was without raising questions."

Mike nodded in agreement, feeling too that Steve wouldn't try that way for fear of being stopped.

"You said two. Where's the other way?"

"There's a small door down there on your left that leads into the Hospital grounds. There's a walkway. The nurses sometimes take the patients out there for some fresh air."

"Ok ... but can you LEAVE the Hospital that way?"

The security man frowned and answered.

"Yes ... There's a path that leads out onto Duboce Avenue. But its mostly the staff that use it to come and go. But it is possible he could have gone that way."

Mike swallowed hard and thanked the men for their help, asking them to continue keeping an eye out as he raced back down towards the door they mentioned. Bursting through the door he raced outside and quickly looked around. There weren't as many people here as there had been in the Lobby thankfully and Mike's eagle eyes surveyed his surroundings carefully. Then he spotted the two people on the wooden bench in the distance and released the breath he had been holding as he slowly made his way quietly towards them from behind.

Back on the bench, Sylvia stood up and spoke, still anxious about having to leave him unattended in order to get help.

"I won't be a minute, ok? Will you be alright while I'm gone? "

Steve placed both his hands around the cup of coffee, hoping the warmth that emanated from it would somehow spread through his chilled bones. He merely nodded but then found himself asking bravely.

"You're going to tell Rita where I am, aren't you?"

His voice sounded sad but resigned and Sylvia's heart sank on hearing his downhearted tone. She felt sad that he had guessed her true intentions and hoped he wouldn't see it as a betrayal of his trust in her. Deciding that honesty was the best option, she squeezed his shoulder supportively.

"Yes ... I HAVE to Steve. "

Instead of being cross Steve smiled back up at her and nodded his head agreeably.

"I know you do. It's ok. I'm tired of running anyway. You're right. I've got to face up to things as they are and ... I'm going to have to talk to Mike ... There's something I need to tell him. Don't worry. I'll stay here until you get back ... I promise ..."

She smiled proudly at him and believed his heartfelt words.

"Are you sure you'll be ok?"

Before Steve had a chance to answer, a familiar voice spoke from a short distance behind them, causing a totally different reaction from both of them.

"That's alright Sylvia. Go and page Rita and let her know you found him and where he is. He'll be ok while you're gone. I'll watch him."

They both looked behind and saw Mike walking towards them. Sylvia almost sighed audibly with relief as she saw the older man approaching and knew that she could finally get help for Steve, knowing he was safe with Mike however Steve's heart sank as he saw Mike's worried face and knew that this was going to be the toughest conversation of his life so far. He was risking losing everything he cared about and he suddenly didn't feel as brave as he had felt minutes earlier.

Steve watched Sylvia hurry off towards the door he had come out of earlier and then turned and watched as Mike came around to the front of the bench and removed his overcoat. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath as he felt Mike drape the over coat around his shoulders and felt Mike sit down on the bench beside him. Opening his eyes slowly he caught Mike's eye. He couldn't quite read Mike's facial expression. There was a mix of relief, annoyance, sadness and worry all etched clearly on his face. Mike reached out and placed an arm around Steve's shoulders, a simple gesture that almost on its own moved the young man to tears. Steve felt him squeeze his right upper arm and looking down at the coffee cup in his hands, he heard Mike speak.

"Well Buddy boy. I think you have some explaining to do, huh?"

Steve exhaled loudly before slowly nodding his head


	32. Chapter 32

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 32

Rita and Jeannie had searched CCU thoroughly first and to Rita's further dismay even Susan hadn't seen him. Then they had trawled up and down the next two floors below relentlessly, showing Steve's picture to anyone they met but nobody had recognized him. They were both getting disheartened and hoped that Mike had had more success until finally as they just finished floor three, Jeannie showed Steve's picture to a male nurse in the hallway and to her surprise and joy he had nodded his head.

"Yeah, yeah, I've seen that guy. He was in the elevator a while back. He looked a little rough. I asked him if he was ok but he insisted that he was fine and that he was just heading down to the Hospital shop on the Ground floor to buy a magazine or something. He got out down there in front of me oh ... over fifty minutes ago at least."

Jeannie was so thrilled she grabbed the young man's hand and shook it wildly, catching him by surprise.

"Thank you! Thank you SO MUCH! You don't know how much that means to me."

Then turning, she raced back down the corridor to find Rita as the male nurse smiled at her vibrant enthusiasm and shouted after her.

"You're welcome. I hope you FIND him."

As Jeannie saw Rita showing Steve's picture to the other staff at the nurse's station, she reached her slightly out of breath after her sprint.

"RITA! I found someone who saw him. He was in the elevator heading for the Ground Floor about fifty minutes ago."

Rita's face lit up at her news.

"Good work. Come on. Let's take the elevator."

But before they had a chance to move there was a loud bell and a voice boomed over the intercom asking if Rita would contact Reception on the Ground Floor urgently. Both women looked at each other and fear filled both their hearts at the same time. Turning and asking politely to use their phone, Rita dialed and listened one sided to a conversation. Jeannie felt as if her heart was going to bust until finally she heard Rita ending the call.

"Ok, Thanks Sylvia for letting me know. We're on our way."

She hung up and felt Jeannie cling to her arm, her expression panicked and emotional.

"Was it about Steve? Is ... is he alright?"

Rita smiled warmly as Jeannie's love for the young man was quite plain to see and she patted Jeannie's hand in a reassuring gesture.

"Yes, don't worry. He's ok. That was Sylvia. She's a nurse from Recovery. She found him outside on a bench in the Hospital grounds. He's a little tired and cold but other than that she said he seems fine. She also said that Mike's with him now. Come on. Let's get a wheelchair and a blanket and we'll meet Sylvia downstairs."

Jeannie's face lit up with relief and she nodded at the kindly nurse and together they went to fetch what they needed and headed to meet up with Sylvia downstairs.

 **Meanwhile : Back Outside in the Hospital Grounds : Franklin Hospital :**

Steve's heart was starting to race and he could feel his emotions starting to try and unravel again. Mike's close proximity and the impending news that he knew he had to share, not making him feel very comfortable at all. Mike was trying to be patient with the young man who looked fairly ill at ease but the lengthening silence was taking its toll.

"Well? What have you got to say for yourself Buddy boy, huh? Has the cat got your tongue all of a sudden? Only you were talking to Sylvia pretty well when I got here ..." he added, his patience failing him fast.

Mike's annoyed tone only made Steve's words harder to form and opening his mouth to try to explain, he found the words refusing to come. Instead they came out garbled and flustered.

"Mike ... Look I'm ... I'm sorry, ok?"

The young man's feeble sounding attempt at an apology broke down Mike's last shred of patience and he found himself raising his voice and grabbing Steve's right shoulder a little more forcefully than he had intended to.

"It is most certainly NOT OK STEVE! Do you know how worried we've been about you? HUH? Well DO you? I just came down all those flights of stairs half expecting to see you in a heap at the bottom of one of them. DAMN IT STEVE! You could have badly hurt yourself ... or collapsed or torn that scar of yours open again! Did you even stop to think about any of those possibilities? Well DID you? You have to STOP running away from whatever problems you're having and FACE up to them. Do you hear me? Steve we all want to HELP you ... but in order to do that you've got to TALK to us first!"

By the time Mike's impassioned speech had finished, he was breathing heavily. He watched as Steve stared at him with moist eyes, his bottom lip visibly trembling and he instantly knew his heartfelt speech had come across too harsh and unsympathetic. He hadn't meant to make the young man feel worse than he already did but the worry and strain of the last half hour had taken their toll and the words had flowed from him untethered. Now as he saw the result they had had, he gently eased up the pressure on Steve's shoulder and purposefully relaxing the arm that still lay around Steve's shoulders, he squeezed Steve's arm lightly and supportively instead. Steve turned his head away to stare at the ground in front of him and as he did, Mike saw a solitary tear leave Steve's left eye and trail down his cheek and he cleared his throat and spoke again, this time keeping his tone more reserved and compassionate.

"Hey, hey now. Come on. Don't get upset. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I ... I was just really worried about you that's all and ... when you won't talk to me and tell me what's going on in that stubborn head of yours I ... well I get frustrated and then ... then I end up yelling like ... an old goat ..."

Mike watched Steve's reaction to his purposely humorous description and saw a faint smile curve the edge of the young man's lips. Seeing it, Mike clasped the back of Steve's neck and shook him slightly, trying to rally him around.

"Is that what I sounded like huh?" Mike added chuckling.

Steve turned back to face the older man but his smile hovered weakly.

"You had every right to be mad Mike and you were right. I can't keep running from things. It ... It doesn't help ..."

"That's right Buddy boy. It never does. So why don't you just tell me, huh? What's chewing on you?"

Steve stared at Mike willing the words to spill from his lips but they just wouldn't come. He took a deep breath and spoke more unsteadily.

"Mike ... I want to tell you. I really do ... But it's ... " he paused to dry swallow "... not as easy as you think it is ..."

Mike could see the strain even trying to tell him was causing and knew he was going to have to try different tactics to get Steve to open up. His gut instinct which rarely failed him was telling him that it definitely had something to do with Jeannie somehow but he wasn't sure in what way. Had Jeannie told Steve how she felt about him? Maybe Steve hadn't felt the same way and felt the need to get away to figure out what to do next. Either way Mike suddenly had an idea. One that would distract long enough to put Steve more at his ease. Leaning in closer he spoke quietly, still keeping a tight comforting grip on Steve's neck as he did.

"I can see that Steve ... Is ... what you're struggling to tell me ah ... of a personal nature?"

Steve met his eyes again and nodded weakly.

"Yeah ... I guess you could put it that way ..."

Trying to keep his face as serious as he could under the circumstances, he asked tentatively.

"Listen Steve, Rita said that she ah ... left you in the restroom before you went missing. Is that what this is all about? Did you ... well you know? " Lowering his voice even more he whispered. " Did you have an accident? Because if you did ... well it's nothing to be ashamed of. You were just out of bed for the first time and well these things happen ..."

Steve's jaw dropped as he listened to Mike's question and he shook his head in disbelief at Mike's assumption. It was the last thing he had expected him to ask and now blushing bright red he flustered his reply.

"NO MIKE! I did NOT have an ..." Also lowering his voice as several random people passed them by on the pathway beside them. " ... an accident. "

Mike smiled briefly as his distraction worked and he choked back the chuckle that threatened to escape as he saw Steve's reaction to his question. He saw the gradual change in Steve's expression that turned from shock to embarrassment and now changing into slight amusement. Steve smiled and answered lightheartedly.

"Although you know, in a crazy way ... I kind of wish it WAS something that easily fixed."

"Ok Buddy boy. Well if it's not that then ... Is it something to do with Jeannie?"

Steve's smile instantly faded and Mike had his answer without a word coming from the young man beside him. He saw Steve's facial expression change rapidly again but these emotions were harder to read. Mike wasn't one hundred percent sure but he was reading panic, fear and something else. Regret maybe? But the last emotion that lingered on his face eluded him fully. All Mike knew was that Jeannie was at the center of whatever was causing Steve's angst and he was going to have to broach the subject, regardless of how it would turn out. Before he could continue, Steve's eyes widened, his breathing labored and he spoke nervously.

"Did ... Did you talk to her?"

Knowing that he was going to have to continue this discussion very carefully, seeing Steve's flaky initial reaction, he quickly answered to stop Steve's panic developing further.

"No, not exactly ... Well I tried but ... I couldn't get any sense out of her. She was very upset and ... yet she was more concerned that she had upset you somehow. Did ... Did something happen between you two? "

Mike watched as Steve seemed to use up every emotion he had in his reaction to Mike's brief statement. At the initial mention of not getting any information from Jeannie, he definitely heard a small barely audible sigh of relief from him and then at the mention of Jeannie being very upset, Steve looked crestfallen and maybe even just a little bit guilt ridden. And then as Mike had asked his final question, Steve had looked fearful and unsure what to answer. He decided not to push him for an answer but instead waited patiently as Steve took several deep breaths and Mike's heart went out to him as he saw him struggling emotionally with his answer. He swore he saw more tears build in the young man's visibly tortured green eyes and then wasn't surprised when Steve merely nodded downheartedly in reply.

Mike removed his hand from the back of Steve's neck and draped it around his shoulders once more, feeling that Steve needed the reassurance of it being there. He felt a definite shudder wrack the young man's frame as a result and feeling the distinct chill almost as if for the first time since he had sat down he worried that the young man was getting chilled. He reached across with his left hand and pulled his overcoat over across in front of Steve's chest, covering him more fully in its expanse. Then he briefly touched off Steve's cheek which caused another shudder.

"God Steve. You're freezing! We need to get you back inside before you catch your death." Mike panicked as he felt the intense cold of Steve's skin but Steve shook his head determinedly.

"NO ... No not yet. There's something I need to tell you ... But ... but you're gonna be mad at me."

Mike looked into Steve's eyes and could see the deep angst that statement evoked and he found himself worrying about what terrible secret he was harboring that he felt he would be so mad about. Trying to make it easier on him, he pulled him closer and spoke firmly.

"STEVE? Whatever it is you have to tell me ... I promise you right now that I'm NOT going to be mad at you, ok? "

Mike knew he was making a fairly hefty promise but he truly felt that there was very little Steve could tell him that would make him cross right now. He had almost lost this young man who was like a son to him and it would take an awful lot to make him feel anything other than extremely grateful that Steve had survived his terrible ordeal.

Steve was slightly heartened by Mike's answer but was dubious all the same knowing how strongly Mike felt about him ever dating Jeannie. Mike had made that point vividly clear over their years as partners and Steve knew that he had invariably crossed the line Mike had drawn minutes earlier. He picked up the cup still in his hands and drained the last of the by now tepid caffeine in a vain attempt at bolstering his courage. As it slipped smoothly down his throat, he savored the taste one last time. One last drop of comfort before he risked everything he cared about. He took one more very deep steadying breath and spoke as courageously as he could manage.

"Ok ... I'll tell you Mike ... But first I need to tell you something else. Something I ... I have never admitted to you before ..."

More deep breaths followed and Mike watched him closely, glad he was finally willing to share but yet Steve's palpable apprehension was rubbing off on him and he felt his own heart race a little too as a result.

"Ok, Buddy boy ... "

Steve turned slightly so that he was facing Mike better and Mike knew it was in order to observe his reaction to whatever Steve was about to say more closely.

"Mike? We've been through a lot of scrapes together ... haven't we?"

Mike smiled as he remembered using those same words to Steve before a certain undercover case a while back and he nodded warmly.

"Sure ..."

"And you know about my past, I mean in Modesto and everything that happened there. I've told you all about that, right?"

Mike was beginning to wonder where he was going with this train of thought but was happy to go along with it all the same if it helped Steve finally share what was bugging him."

"Yeah ... Yeah, you've told me ..."

"Mike ... I've lost a lot of people in my life. People I really ah ... cared about and ... um ... and ..."

Steve's voice broke as the sentiment behind his words caused a lump to rise in his throat and his already wavering emotions threatened to let him down. He blinked back the tears that had formed and brought a hand over his mouth to try and fight back the sadness that was suddenly overwhelming him, muttering gut-wrenchingly as he did.

"Sorry ... just give me a minute ..."

Steve's sudden deterioration both shocked and surprised Mike who immediately grasped Steve's shoulder tighter and spoke as his own rapidly wavering emotions would allow.

"Ok ... ok take it easy will you? There's no rush. Take your time. You ... you don't have to dwell on those things. I know about the people you've lost and how hard their deaths have been on you but ... what point are you trying to make, huh? What's it got to do with what's bugging you now?"

Steve swallowed hard and his heavy breathing continued for several agonizing seconds before the hand that held him so strongly and the words that Mike spoke finally gave him back the bit of strength he needed to continue unhindered.

"Well ... You know how you used to say that ... that was the reason why I never managed to have a long serious relationship with anyone. Because I was afraid of anyone getting too close and then risk losing them?"

Mike smiled again as he remembered those numerous conversations and answered without delay.

"Yes, yes I remember. "

"I ... I always denied it right?"

Another low chuckle erupted from the older man.

"Adamantly!..."

A nervous smile crept across Steve's mouth.

"Yeah, yeah I did, didn't I? ... But you see. You were right. That WAS the reason and I've never admitted that to anyone before this. Not to Lenny, or you or even to myself. I have a great fear of losing people I care about and I don't ever want to lose anyone else ... I ... I really don't think I could stand it Mike!"

Steve's voice broke a second time and another tear fell closely followed by one from the other eye. His words had come straight from his heart and Mike felt his own tears form at the level of angst that had erupted so unexpectedly from the young man now trembling even more violently within his grip.

"Hey, hey come on now. Is this harking back to what you said before about not wanting to lose me? Well is it? You think that what ever you're about to tell me is going to cause that to happen, don't you?"

Things were becoming a little clearer for Mike. That was the big fear that Steve was harboring and he needed to nip it in the bud before it visibly tore the young man beside him apart.

"Hey now you need to listen to me Buddy boy. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Do you HEAR me? Nothing that you could say or do could ever push me away. You're like a son to me Steve and the best friend anyone could ask for all combined and ... and I just thank God that ... "

Mike's own voice broke as Steve's sadness and fear caused his own emotions to unravel and it mirrored the fear that he had had that night in Franklin Hospital when he had waited for word on Steve's condition after his heart surgery. He had felt the same way that night. Having lost plenty of people in his life too that had meant so much ,the initial prognosis on Steve's condition had been poor at best and he had tried that night to prepare himself for the worst possible outcome but just as Steve had stated just now, he had felt that losing Steve in such a tragic and deplorable way would have been way too painful for him to take and Steve's current conversation brought those fears back to him as vividly as he had felt them four weeks ago. He wiped at a tear that escaped from his eye and the movement shocked Steve who was himself struggling to contain his own upset. Steve cleared his throat in an effort to regain his voice but his words came out weak and broken.

"Aw Mike. Don't! ... I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to ..."

"It's ok ... It's alright. I know you didn't ... See you're not the only one whose losing the plot here, huh? I didn't thank God for letting you survive that night four weeks ago just to leave you high and dry in the middle of a painful recovery now, well did I? WELL?"

"I ... I hope not ..." Steve ventured, still a little too uncertain for Mike's liking.

Mike fished into his trouser pocket and almost laughed as he produced his handkerchief. The usual crisp white cloth was now crumpled and battered and had been used to dry more tears over the last two days than it was capable of holding. Both his and Steve's and Jeannie's. He wiped at his eyes and then pushed it into Steve's hand.

"Here ... Sorry about the state of it. That poor handkerchief has dealt with a lot of upset these last two days, let me tell you. Maybe instead of washing it I should keep it as a painful reminder that happiness is quite a fragile thing just like that simple cloth, huh?"

Steve halfheartedly smiled and nodded in agreement as he stared at the sorry looking, still damp, piece of cloth in his hand and slowly brought it up to wipe at his eyes gratefully. Then dropping his hand, Mike noticed he remained clinging onto the handkerchief desperately and he remembered Jeannie used to hold onto a small diamond shaped, hand crocheted blanket that Helen had made for her as a small child. It was her comforter and in times of distress she had never been without it. She had carried that blanket with her over the years until it had finally begun to unravel with overuse and the love it had been shown. In that stark moment Mike found himself wondering where it was now and ended up having to shove that thought to the back of his mind as he concentrated once more on his troubled friend, as Steve broke the silence once more.

"I just wanted you to know that before I ... before I tell you what happened ... You see ... You and Jeannie have become very important to me since I ... since I met you both and well ... you've become the only real family that I have and ... well I've done some pretty stupid things over the last while trying to prevent myself from losing you both ..."

Mike's brow raised in confusion, Steve's last statement causing a niggling worry about what he could possibly mean by it. He studied Steve closely and couldn't quite believe how difficult he was visibly finding it to even speak. He watched him take another lengthy breath in and then began.

"Ok ... Here goes ... You see ... I ... I ... "

Steve stopped again mid-sentence and looked at Mike in a strange way, rapidly losing his nerve and then ran a nervous hand through his tousled hair as he changed tactic slightly trying to rescue the situation with a touch of humor.

"Oh man! I haven't found something this hard to tell anyone since the time I had to tell Harry that I accidentally broke two panes of glass in his greenhouse roof when I was six ... practicing my baseball swing ... "

Mike chuckled at Steve's comparison and then saw an opportunity to lighten Steve's load.

"I bet you thought HE was going to be mad with you too then, huh?"

Steve nodded his head as a nervous chuckle escaped. Shaking his head he emphasized the words that followed.

"Oh yeah ... I thought he was going to go nuts ..."

Mike knew he was taking a risk in asking but he had a feeling he knew Harry pretty well from everything Steve had told him AND it would help if he was right, therefore he felt that it was worth the risk.

"But he didn't get mad ... Did he Steve?"

Steve stared at Mike but his eyes were temporarily glazed, his mind visibly else where, most probably transported back to that specific moment in time. He shook his head slowly and then came back to the present and looked strangely at Mike.

"No ... No he didn't ... He was more worried about whether I'd tried to clean the glass up by myself and whether I'd cut myself or not ..."

Mike smiled warmly.

"Well that figures. You see? He was more worried about you than that glass roof! And it's the same with me Steve. Whatever it is you have to tell me isn't as important as you being ok and happy. Do you understand that?"

Steve nodded but still wasn't a hundred percent sure Mike would still feel the same way after he heard about his love for Jeannie. Seeing Steve not too convinced, Mike decided to lend a hand.

"Listen Steve. Look ... I can see that this is hard for you. Will you allow me to share some of my experience with you?"

Steve nodded, grateful for any help he could get.

"Ok well ... You see a wise man once said that whenever you have something difficult to say to someone, you should say it in as few words as possible so that's it's easier to get out. So why don't you try that, huh? Just take a deep breath and just say it. Don't try to elaborate on it or explain it or sugarcoat it in any way. Just say it and I promise you I won't get mad whatever it is ... What do you say?"

Steve thought about what Mike and said and smiled back in his direction .

"Ok ..."

Taking an extra long inhalation of breath, he gathered up every ounce of courage he had left and then blurted it out.

"Jeannie kissed me ..."

Mike was slightly taken aback at first.

"She kissed you? But Steve, Jeannie's often kissed you ... "

"No Mike! She didn't kiss me like that ... she ah ... KISSED me!"

Mike's eyebrows raised and his mouth dropped open briefly before he swallowed and closed it again, realization starting to kick in as to what had disturbed the young man so much.

"OH! ... I see ..."

Mike frowned mainly because he HAD warned Jeannie just last night that it was too soon to reveal her true feelings to Steve in his already fragile state and this was the very reason why he had felt it wasn't the most prudent thing to do yet but he should have known that Jeannie's sometimes impetuous instincts were not easy to keep tethered and now they were all left dealing with the fall out. Trying to process the new information he shook his head disapprovingly at Jeannie's actions and spoke in a disappointed tone.

"Oh dear! That's what I was afraid was going to happen ..."

Unfortunately Steve misconstrued Mike's disapproval and flustered accordingly.

"Oh God Mike, I never encouraged it or expected it to happen. I swear ..."

Seeing Steve's panicked reaction and realizing that the young man was taking his words up wrong, he quickly moved to reassure him.

"Ok, ok ... I know you didn't. I'm NOT mad but ... what happened then Steve? I mean what happened you know? When she kissed you. Just tell me the truth. That's all I ask Buddy boy."

Steve knew the truth was going to sound like a betrayal and he paused for several seconds trying to make the words leave his lips. He remembered Mike's advice from earlier and took a deep breath and then let the truth out, closing his eyes as he did, feeling unable to see Mike's probable disappointed reaction to his words.

"I ... I KISSED her back ..."

Mike listened in confusion. _If Steve kissed her back then why was Jeannie so upset? And what was still causing the continuing angst in his former partner? He was missing something important and he could tell that the information he was missing was going to have to be pulled painfully from the young man._ He saw Steve's eyes closed and knew he was almost holding his breath while he waited for Mike's verbal response to his revelation.

"I see ... And what happened then?"

Steve opened his eyes, mildly surprised that Mike was keeping his cool under the circumstances and so bolstered a little by that fact he continued cautiously.

"We ah ... kissed and then I ... I pushed her away and ... I told her it was wrong and that it couldn't happen again and I ... I told her to leave ..."

 _Ah! That was the missing piece in the puzzle. He had pushed Jeannie away. That's why she was devastated and if Steve hadn't wanted the initial kiss then that's why he was potentially acting so strangely now. Perhaps he was worried that he would side with Jeannie under the circumstances and that he would lose them both as a result? He was starting to feel as if he might finally understand what was going on but there was still important missing information there that needed to be gleaned before his final conclusion was arrived at._

Steve watched Mike lost in his own thoughts and worried.

"Mike, I never meant to upset her. I saw her crying in your arms outside CCU from outside the restroom and I ... I thought she was going to tell you what happened between us and I ... I just couldn't face either of you. Not after that. So I ... That's why I ..."

" ... Took the stairs, huh?" Mike finished for him.

Steve nodded.

"Yeah ..."

"Ok, I think I see what's going on now but I could be wrong so I need to ask you one more question just to clarify things for me a little. Would that be ok with you?"

Steve's energy was rapidly depleting. He was started to feel completed drained. This whole conversation was taking a massive toll on his emotions and his energy levels and he was feeling even colder now too as if the wind now blowing around him felt like it was cutting straight though Mike's draped overcoat and through the thin soaked fabric of his pajama top and through to his very bones. He shivered and nodded almost afraid of what question Mike was going to ask.

"Ok ..."

Mike noticed the shiver and became more concerned by Steve's sudden pallor. The colour had drained from his face rapidly in the last few minutes and the chills now seemed to be taking hold.

Mike pushed his question temporarily aside with his growing concern for Steve's health. He grabbed Steve more firmly around the shoulders and started rubbing his upper arms up and down in order to get some sort of heat back into him.

"Are you feeling cold Buddy boy?"

Steve nodded as another shiver raked through him and set his teeth chattering slightly.

"Yeah ..."

"Ok, that's it! No more hanging around here. We need to get you back inside, up to CCU and back into your warm bed ..."

He started to stand to go in search of where Sylvia had gone but Steve grabbed his arm, his look desperate and his eyes pleading.

"WAIT! Please. Just ask me your question first will ya?"

"Steve, I don't think you're up to this right now. We can discuss it later when you're back inside and you've warmed up, ok?"

"NO! ... I ... I need to discuss it now Mike ... PLEASE?"

Steve's plea was heart wrenching and while Mike's gut instincts and his mind were telling him that Steve needed medical attention and that he should say no and get him back inside immediately, his heart felt for Steve's desperation and so reluctantly he sat back down and agreed.

"Ok ... ok I'll ask my question but then you're going to let me get you back inside. Deal?"

"Deal ... " Steve answered in a relieved but weak sounding voice.

"Ok. Well what I was going to ask you was this. Why ah ... Why did you KISS Jeannie back? I mean was it a reflex? Or politeness considering who she was? Or ... or was there another reason Steve? I need to know that answer to understand this whole thing and all I want is the truth. Nothing more or nothing less. I won't damn you for the truth Steve. I promise you that and I've never broken a promise to you before. Have I?"

Steve shook his head weakly.

"No ... No you haven't ..."

"Ok. Well what's the answer Buddy boy? Why did you kiss her back?"

Steve inhaled sharply on hearing Mike's question the second time. This was it. It was now or never. If he lied now there was no going back and if he told the truth he wasn't sure what the outcome was going to be. Mike has always told him to trust his gut. He closed his eyes to try and listen to what his gut was telling him to do. Tell the truth was all he could hear inside his head. Mike had asked for the truth and he deserved nothing less. Steve opened his mouth but the words took several seconds to filter from his lips and when they did Mike could hear the almost agonizing pain behind them.

"Because ... Because I love her Mike. I love your daughter and I have for quite a while now. I ... I didn't ask for it to happen. It just did and I tried to deny it and I tried for so long and so hard not to let it show. When she kissed me ... I just couldn't stop myself from kissing her back. Then I panicked ... I knew you wouldn't approve and so I did what I've always done? I pushed her away. But it killed me Mike. To see her so upset and knowing I'd caused it ... I'm so sorry Mike. I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now and I am ... SO sorry that I let you down but now you know. I ... love Jeannie more than anything Mike ..."

He couldn't quite believe that he finally managed to say it. His voice was breaking on the last line and his eyes were starting to brim again with both the relief and the overwhelming and possibly life altering admission he had just made. The truth was out now and so now all that was left was to watch Mike for his reaction to it with bated breath.

Mike had waited patiently for Steve's answer and was praying as he did for the one answer that he felt would make them both happy. At soon as Steve started his impassioned speech, the young man's first words brought a strange surge of joy that filled his heart. He was afraid to react happily just yet in case the rest of his speech held something that threatened that happiness but as it ended and he heard Steve's last heartfelt apology and admission, he felt his own eyes brim again too and now finding his own words suddenly hard to find, he found himself muttering weakly.

"I see ..."

At those two feeble words Steve pleaded desperately.

"Oh God Mike. Will you PLEASE stop saying "I see". I mean say something else, yell at me, hit me or just stuff my head in my pocket. Anything but " I see"."

That statement made Mike half smile. He reached up and grabbed the back of Steve's neck tightly and felt Steve tense as he did, obviously expecting a bad reaction from the older man. Deciding mischievously to hold out a tiny bit longer, Mike leaned in closer and watched Steve slightly recoil.

"So you want me to tell you what I think, huh?"

Steve was now breathing heavily and merely nodded.

"Ok ... I'll tell you ..."

Steve's breath exhaled sharply and he closed his eyes as he waited for the words he was dreading to hear.

As Mike saw the young man's eyes close and felt him tremble slightly he knew it was time to put him out of his misery. He leaned close to Steve's ear and squeezing the back of his neck briefly, he then patted him affectionately on the back and whispered emotionally.

"Thank GOD! "

Steve heard the two words and opened his eyes in shock as he saw Mike's unexpected wide grin. Unable to fully believe the words he had just heard, he stuttered incredulously.

"What? ... What did you just say?"

Mike patted his back again and then gripped Steve's upper arm.

"I SAID ... Thank God for that, Buddy boy! "

Steve stared at him, his breath now coming in sharp heaves.

"But ... So ... You aren't mad?"

Mike chuckled and spoke again warmly.

"No ... Why would I be? Jeannie loves you just as much Steve."

Steve's jaw dropped and open mouthed he took in the astonishing words that he still couldn't quite believe.

"She ... She told you that?"

"Yes ... But just last night when we talked some things out. I had no idea up to that. She's crazy about you Buddy boy but ... well she wasn't sure if you felt the same way and being honest I told her not to pressurize you about it yet with everything else going on with you and when you said she kissed you just now and that you pushed her away I ... well I was afraid that maybe you didn't feel the same way either so if anything I'm relieved ..."

Mike was starting to find Steve's astonished reaction amusing. He was still open mouthed trying to process how well that conversation had actually gone. Mike reached up and pressed his chin up closing his mouth as he did.

"You stay like that for much longer you're going to start catching flies Buddy boy. Did ... Did you really think I'd be that set against the idea?"

"Well you warned me off remember, a long time ago. That speech about Jeannie not dating a cop and then the age difference ... "

Mike smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"I made that speech a long time ago Steve. We hadn't been partners long and you did carry a bit of a ladies man reputation back then remember? And besides ... you're forgetting something very important in all this."

"What's that?"

"You're not a cop anymore. YOU'RE going to be a teacher Buddy boy. And I never said she couldn't date a teacher, now did I?"

Steve shook his head and dry swallowed.

"I ... I ... I don't know what to say ... I thought you were going to go crazy ... I was ... I was so worried ... "

Mike chuckled again.

"I know. I could SEE that ... "

Steve suddenly thumped Mike in the arm playfully.

"Ow! What was THAT for?"

"That's for making me sweat. I thought you were going to HIT me back there for a minute!"

Mike rubbed his arm and chuckled again.

"Ok, ok, you're right. I eked it out a little. Sorry. I deserved that ... But ... well you should have SEEN your face ..." Mike said beginning to chuckle for a second time

Steve swatted at Mike a second time playfully.

"MIKE! ..."

"Ok, ok. I said I was sorry ... But can I ask you another question?"

Steve shook his head from side to side, a relieved smile finally starting to spread across his face.

"Sure. I guess ... Why not? "

"You said that you've loved her for a while. How long exactly? "

Steve slumped backwards unexpectedly at Mike's question, his mind racing and his body feeling like it was still reeling from the news that Mike didn't seem in the least bit perturbed by his revelation. He laid his head back against the bench as the flow of early morning air washed over him again and he took a few seconds to answer.

"Well I've always cared a lot about her. I mean we became best friends, you saw that, right?"

Mike nodded.

"Yeah, I knew you two were close but what I'm asking I suppose is when you realized that you loved her? Was it since the shooting? I mean you two were together a lot more since then. Is that when it happened?"

Steve looked briefly up into the sky, staring at its vastness of blue and white for several seconds as he contemplated Mike"s question.

"No ... not exactly. I first felt it back some months ago at Jeannie's birthday lunch. She seemed different that weekend. I don't know exactly why but I knew that weekend that things were heading in a ... well a different direction ... I guess that's really when I started to panic a little. Mike? It was a ... smaller part of the reason I wanted to take the teaching job."

That answer took Mike by surprise. It was his turn to be stunned and he turned to face Steve and his own jaw dropped considerably.

"What?"

Steve nodded dolefully knowing that news was going to hit hard.

"Yeah ... I mean you ... you had to know that I was having issues with my gun Mike? Didn't you? "

"Yes ... yes I knew that ... I ... well I wasn't as supportive about that as I should have been Buddy boy ..."

"And I had told you that I was thinking about teaching Mike ... "

"Yes ... Yes you did and I didn't give you too much encouragement about that either. I just thought that you were too good of a cop to throw it all away but ... why because of you and Jeannie?"

"Well when the teaching job was offered ... I thought that maybe ... apart from solving what was happening with my gun issues and giving me the opportunity to try teaching like I wanted ... I figured if we weren't partners anymore that well maybe I ... I wouldn't be around as much and that maybe ... She'd ah ... meet someone else and ... forget about us ..."

Mike stared incredulously as he heard Steve's inner torment this last few months laid bare.

"So you were willing to let her go even though you cared that much about her ... Just so I wouldn't be mad about the whole thing?"

Steve nodded sadly.

"Yeah ... but ... then I got shot and ..."

Steve stopped mid-sentence and Mike gasped as the realization hit him. As he saw Steve struggling a little he continued for him.

"... And instead of being apart you two ended up spending every day with each other."

Steve nodded as Mike understood.

"Yeah ... Things kind of backfired on me, huh?"

Mike suddenly started to smile.

"Looks to me like fate took a hand in this Steve. And you can't mess with fate Buddy boy. I'm a firm believer in that!"

"Yeah ... I guess you're right. We were together a lot more then and she was there for me during some ... really tough times Mike and she got me through them. I'm not even sure how she did but she did ... When she said she was going back to college I figured it was for the best but ... when she was gone ... I felt like the hole in my heart reopened Mike and I ... I missed her so much ... I didn't even fully realize just how much until I heard her voice over the phone on Saturday and then when I saw her in my room yesterday ..."

Mike was very touched by Steve's words and could hear the genuine love he felt for his daughter and in that moment their relationship suddenly felt more meant to be than ever. He reached out and patted Steve's shoulder proudly.

"Steve, I want you to know that I couldn't be happier with how things have turned out. I mean it might take me a little while to adjust to the new situation but I think you'll make a great couple and quite frankly I can't think of anyone I trust more to love her and keep her safe ... than you."

Steve felt his emotions fray on hearing Mike's words and he spoke emotionally.

"Thanks Mike ... You don't how glad I am to hear you say that. "

"Mind you ... she'll have to finish college."

"Of course ... But Mike ... What am I gonna say to Jeannie? I mean I pushed her away. I hurt her Mike. "

"Oh I think you'll figure out what to say and besides ... sometimes you don't necessarily have to ah ... use your words you know to ah ... get your feelings across if you know what I mean? Let's face it. Jeannie didn't exactly use her words to tell you how she felt back in your Hospital room, now did she?"

Steve heard Mike's words and smiled and then he nodded his understanding. He suddenly felt better emotionally than he had felt for quite some time. Things seemed a lot clearer and his future seemed a lot more hopeful now. He was feeling really weak and tired all of a sudden though, drained beyond belief. He closed his eyes and ran a hand across his face and back over his hair and Mike leaned closer.

"Steve? You alright?"

" I'm not really sure. I ah ... I feel really tired ..."

"Well I'm not surprised Buddy boy. You did more walking today than you were supposed to do in a week! You look beat. Come on. No arguments this time. We need to get you back inside now. If I'm right and I think I am, there's a young lady in there that's going to be anxious to know that you're ok and where you are."

Steve sat up slightly with Mike's help and then looking past Mike at the door to the Hospital Lobby, he saw Jeannie rush through it and stare at them for several seconds before she started rushing towards them. Steve swallowed hard and inhaled sharply on seeing her and Mike heard the young man's sudden unexplained intake of breath.

"Steve? What's the matter?"

"I ah ... I think she already knows Mike ..."

 **A/N :Sorry for the delay in updating this chapter. Real life has been tough and I wanted to take the time this chapter needed to get it the way I wanted it. :-)Thanks for your patience and support... x  
**


	33. Chapter 33

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 33

Mike could feel the tension emanating from the young man in front of him and glancing behind him he saw his daughter's hurried approach. Turning quickly he placed both hands on Steve's shoulders and spoke firmly.

"Steve, it'll be ok. Just tell her what you told me ... No more. No less. That's all she needs to hear Buddy boy. Now I'm going to go and find Sylvia and see if she managed to get that wheelchair so we can get you back inside ..."

Steve had listened attentively but on his last statement, Mike saw the panic return clearly in his former partner's striking green eyes and he felt the young man tug at his arm as he turned to leave.

"WHAT? You're leaving? Mike ... I ... I don't want you to ..."

Grabbing the hand that now clung to him for dear life, he spoke again encouragingly and calmly.

"Steve, listen to me will you? You two need to talk this whole thing out and you need to do it alone. Not with me as a third wheel. Now you both have my blessing and you both know that, right?"

Steve nodded and Mike continued.

"So there's no reason for me to be here for this. It's time you two sorted this all out. You have to do this yourself Buddy boy. Trust your instincts Steve. If you do that, you'll know exactly what to say and do, alright?"

Mike felt Steve's hand reluctantly loosen it's grip on his arm but he still didn't like the level of angst and concern that still remained visible in his eyes. Reaching down from his now standing position he placed a firm and comforting hand on Steve's shoulder.

"You've got this Steve. Now all you have to do is tell her what you've waited so long to. This is that chance Buddy boy. My advice is to take it with both hands."

He smiled warmly and saw Steve swallow hard and nod gratefully before turning and hesitantly leaving the nervous young man on the seat behind him as he marched back quickly towards the Lobby door, meeting Jeannie in mid run as he did. She stopped as she reached him, yet her eyes were firmly focused on Steve just a short way behind him.

"MIKE? Is he ok?"

Mike clasped his daughter affectionately by the upper arms and spoke reassuringly.

"Calm down now. He's fine Sweetheart. He's a little cold and very tired but he's ok. You two need to talk but be patient with him, alright? He's ah ... well he's a little fragile at the minute so don't go in all guns blazing, ok? Nice and easy and let him explain himself in his own way. Can you do that?"

Jeannie looked both decidedly rattled and confused but she nodded her head, trusting her Father without question.

"Yes ... "

Mike smiled proudly at his daughter and then released her from his grip.

"Well go on then. Go keep an eye on him while I see if the nurse has the wheelchair ready to get him back inside."

Jeannie couldn't help the smile that lit up her face as she reached up and kissed his cheek.

"I love you Daddy. You know that, right?"

Mike's eyes moistened at her words and he reached up to touch his cheek where her kiss still lingered.

"Yes, I know but HE doesn't. Do everyone a favor and go tell him, will you?"

"But ... but I can't ... You don't understand what happened Daddy ..."

"Yes ... I do ... So tell him. He needs to hear it. Trust your old man. Now GO!"

Jeannie still didn't fully understand what he meant but smiled anyway at his encouragement and bounded past him towards Steve.

Mike took one look back and saw the mix of nervousness and happiness on Steve's face as he watched Jeannie run towards him. He smiled as it reminded him of the first few times he had dated Helen as Steve's expression mirrored his own back then. It sure looked like true love from where he was standing. Now they just had to get their acts together and start reading off the same page so to speak. For that part he felt helpless. He had to leave them to it and so accepting that reality he turned and hurried back into the Hospital, praying inwardly as he went, that the next time he saw them they would be holding hands and happy.

Jeannie reached Steve at a run and saw him almost brace himself for the sudden impact of a Jeannie hug. However she stopped just short of him and dropped on the seat beside him instead. He stayed staring at her and she couldn't quite read the complicated expression his face wore. She definitely saw sorrow and remorse and distinctly saw the tiredness etched into his features appearing as dark circles around his eyes just as Mike had described. He looked sickly and he was visibly trembling. He had Mike's overcoat draped around him and was holding it tightly at his neck and his lips were quivering. She wasn't sure if his shakes were from the cold or from the nervousness that was so palpable now that she sat so close to him. She wanted so badly to wrap him in a warm hug but his earlier reaction made her hesitant and so instead she reached up and took his face in both of her hands and stroked each cheek gently as she did.

"Oh Steve! We were so worried. Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?"

To her surprise instead of pulling away as he had before, she felt him almost melt against her touch, as if he needed the reassuring touch to be able to function. He closed his eyes as she held his face softly and his lips opened and a raspy and broken voice reached her ears as his eyes opened to look sorrowfully at her once more.

"No ... No I'm ok ... But I'm ... I'm so sorry Jeannie ... I never meant to hurt you ... I would never ... never intentionally hurt you ... You have to believe that ..."

There was something so heart wrenching in his tone and encouraged by his initial welcome acceptance of her touch, she reached up and brushed a hand through his hair and then did the same on the other side. The wind had tousled his usual tidy, wavy locks and she eased them back into position, feeling the damp perspiration beneath her fingertips as she fully realized the extent of the toll, his flight for freedom had taken on him. Then she placed a gentle finger against his lips and heard him inhale sharply as she did.

"You don't have to be sorry for anything Steve. What happened wasn't your fault. It was mine. I shouldn't have done what I did. It was presumptuous and I obviously read the signals wrong and I wish I could go back and undo it ... I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable or awkward ..."

Steve heard her words and knew she was taking what happened the wrong way. He had to stop her and tell her the truth. He let go of the coat and didn't even care that it opened as he did and left his scar exposed and on view to the world as he clasped the hand that still lay against his cheek and held it there against his skin. It's warmth was holding him together and warding off the chill that still blew in the early morning breeze around him.

"NO! ... No you don't understand ... It wasn't you. It ... it was my fault Jeannie. You didn't make me feel awkward. The truth is ... I ... I could have stayed in that kiss forever ..."

Jeannie's face fell at his unexpected words, not quite believing what he had just said and also not trusting her ears to hear correctly what her heart wanted them to hear so badly.

"What? But ... but you pushed me away. I thought ... well I thought that ..."

This time Steve placed a trembling finger on her lips instead and she then remembered what her father had told her about allowing him time to explain. His words made some sense now and so she quietened and allowed him time to continue.

"I know I did. And ... you don't know how hard that was for me to do ... I did it because ... because I was worried about Mike. I was afraid he'd be mad and I didn't want to be the wedge that drove you two apart and I didn't want ... I ... didn't want to lose either of you so I did what I've always done. I panicked and I pushed you away and I ... I ran ... But I can't run anymore Jeannie ..."

Hearing the heartfelt and unbearable angst in his tone, Jeannie suddenly understood why he had done what he did. It hadn't been that he hadn't wanted her to kiss him. He had been afraid of Mike's reaction to them taking things a step further and he hadn't wanted it to cause any upset to the close friendship that the three of them were so lucky to share. They were his only family and he feared what had happened would destroy that security. That close bond that he cherished and had lacked for so long. She suddenly felt worse for not explaining herself better before the kiss. For not telling him that Mike hadn't minded and for not declaring her love for him back in that room and sparing him from making such a drastic decision that could have caused him more harm than it already had. Unable to hold her silence a second longer, she reached down one hand from his face to his chest, carefully avoiding the glaring scar and laid her hand gently against it compassionately.

"Oh Steve! Mike doesn't mind. He's ok with you and me being more to each other than we are now. He told me so himself. You don't have to worry about that ..."

Steve studied her face and smiled. He reached up to touch her hair that fell so beautifully beside her cheek, framing her face. He drew his fingers through it as he remained staring into her clear blue eyes and he spoke shakily.

"Yeah ... I know that now. He told me too. But I didn't know it then ... Jeannie? I'm asking you for a second chance and I promise you ... on everything that I hold dear, I will NEVER ... EVER push you away again. I ... I love you Jeannie Stone. I love you with all my heart, or ... at least whatever's left of it ... " he added, trying to use a lighthearted tone despite the seriousness of his last few words that weighed heavily on his mind.

He spoke as several tears trailed down his cheek and without warning he closed the small distance between them and he had covered her lips with his. He kissed her slowly and felt another tear escape as he felt her respond and kiss him back. Her lips moved in perfect rhythm with his and he felt his heart pound in his chest and his head swim with the sensations that their kiss was causing. He reached around and felt her soft hair beneath his fingertips as their kiss continued for at least a minute or two. He watched how her eyes were closed as she kissed him back and when their lips finally parted, unlike the wrenching way they had the last time, this time they parted reluctantly, their foreheads meeting and staying against each others as both took on the real meaning and powerful reactions their kiss had awakened within them both.

Steve's breath was coming in heaving gasps as their kiss ended and as they stayed together he looked at her anxiously, still awaiting her reaction to his confession and his heartfelt words. Jeannie stayed with her eyes closed, her forehead touching his for what felt like long minutes instead of the more probable seconds that had actually passed. He was starting to worry a little when she didn't respond immediately. He never lifted his head from hers but spoke in an almost desperate tone.

"Hey Beautiful? Put me out of my misery here, huh? Have I blown it? Please Jeannie ... Say something will ya? ... "

On hearing his words Jeannie's eyes opened and she lifted her head away from Steve's. He couldn't quite read the expression she held. She looked stunned and very emotional. He wasn't sure if it was a good sign or not and felt briefly that he had maybe destroyed his last chance at happiness by rejecting her so cruelly earlier. He felt another tear fall from his eye as he waited for her to speak and was about to wipe it away when Jeannie's fingers reached up and cleared it away for him instead. She opened her lips and spoke, barely audibly.

"Say that again please? "

Steve's brow raised as he still couldn't figure out if things were going well or badly.

"What? That I love you?"

Jeannie merely nodded as Steve watched her eyes now water and brim too as she stared unnervingly at him.

"Ok ... I love you Jeannie Stone and I ... I don't think I can live without you ..."

He watched as tears now fell from her eyes and worried that he was after upsetting her again but with the tears a huge smile slowly lit up her face and she beamed proudly at him as she once more moved to clasp his face lovingly in her hands.

"Steve Keller. You don't know how long I've prayed to hear you say those words ... I'd begun to give up hope of ever hearing them. And then ... a while ago I was convinced that I never would ... "

Steve this time reached up to wipe her tears away and she felt his hand shaking badly as he did. He felt a huge wave of relief wash over him on hearing her words and suddenly felt very unsteady. His head was starting to swim and his legs and chest were starting to hurt. He figured that his last painkillers were beginning to wear off and he knew that the over exertion he had just recently put his still healing body through was starting to take its toll. He knew the over used and over worked muscles were going to start hurting like hell now that the painkillers were no longer working to ward off the discomfort but he didn't want to alert her to that reality just yet. He needed to continue this conversation. He needed to resolve it before he could even consider allowing more drugs to addle his brain and confuse his thoughts. While the pain brought discomfort it also brought clarity of mind which is what he needed right now. He smiled warmly at her as he cupped her face back and drew a sensuous finger across her lips, speaking a little mischievously this time.

"Hey ... you know that's not fair, don't ya?"

Jeannie looked curious this time, wondering what she had said wrong and anxious that once more she had maybe said or done the wrong thing and panicked him again.

"What do you mean Steve?"

He smiled and leaned forward almost whispering, almost pleading for the one thing he needed more than anything right now, to feel secure and better again.

"Well ... I've told you twice now how I feel about you but you haven't said it. I need you to say it Jeannie. I need to hear it too ... "

His eye had misted again and she realized that he was right. In her relief at his admission and his heartfelt outpouring she hadn't told him in words how she actually felt for him in return. She had assumed he knew by her words and actions but he was right. He deserved to hear it just as much as she had. Teasing slightly, she leaned in towards him too, their lips only millimeters apart now and she smiled as she felt his reaction to her closeness. The hand that remained against her cheek shook palpably and she heard his accompanying sharp intake of breath.

"Didn't you feel how I felt about you when you kissed me just then and earlier?"

She heard him exhale sharply this time and his breathing became decidedly labored.

"Oh yeah ... I did ... but it's not the same. Just say it. Please Jeannie ... just say it ..."

Hearing his clear desperation for the confirmation he badly needed to hear, she smiled as she slid her hands very slowly away from his face and started to wrap them very carefully around his waist instead. She felt him tense as she did and then she spoke clearly and emotionally.

"I love you too Steve Keller. I have since the day I first set eyes on you all those years ago. I thought it was just a schoolgirl crush at first but it never left me. Instead I've grown to love you even more. You became my best friend and you made Daddy so happy. I knew he was safe with you and when I was with you I always felt safe too. The day of my birthday lunch I wanted to kiss you and tell you then but I ... I chickened out. I still wasn't sure how you felt in return and I didn't want to lose you as a dear friend either by making the wrong assumptions. But the night you were shot and me and Mike waited to hear if you survived the surgery ... I swear I felt that if your heart stopped on that operating table then mine would have too ... I prayed that God would spare you and when you came back to us I knew my prayers had been answered and I ... I felt they had been answered for a reason. He sent you back to me and Mike because that's where you belong ..."

Steve listened to her words and felt a lump rise in his throat. He couldn't quite believe that this day had finally come. He had often dreamed of it happening. Of hearing her tell him that she loved him but in his dreams they had always been somewhere romantic when it had happened. He hadn't expected it to be here in a Hospital Garden, surrounded by passing pajama clad people and nursing staff, while he bore a long ugly scar and looked like hell on earth. He now understood why she had not spoken earlier after his declaration. It was a surreal thing to hear. That someone loved you more than life itself. A beautiful, wonderful but at the same time somewhat scary and unnerving feeling. He was suddenly speechless and yet Jeannie didn't seem to mind the silence as he had. She seemed to understand it.

She leaned that last few millimeters and their lips touched. This time it was a simple kiss. A reassuring gesture. A moment of deep affection that seemed to seal the words they had uttered. That made them more real. Their lips kissed lightly and she felt him pull her closer into a hug. A second kiss followed slightly more lingering than the one that went before and when their lips parted the second time, Steve felt more at peace than he had in a long time. He felt the last few day's stress almost melt away as he felt her in his arms and her kiss still tingled on his lips. Feeling even more light headed than before he spoke breathlessly.

"Whoa! ... I can't believe that's what I've been missing out on all this time ... "

Jeannie chuckled at his reaction and hugged him tighter in response but that caused a sharp pain to vibrate mercilessly through his bruised sternum and he couldn't help the wince and the hiss of pain that followed. Jeannie released him quickly, alarmed that she might have hurt him.

"Oh Steve! I didn't mean to hurt you ... I'm so sorry ... "

"No ... No it's ok you didn't. I think my painkillers are just wearing off that's all. "

"Your painkillers? Is your chest very sore?"

Steve was gasping a little as the pain in his sternum peaked and then gradually eased back as the pressure on it was released. The calf muscles in his legs were starting to cramp as well and he didn't answer Jeannie straight away as he dealt with the new aches starting to torture him.

"STEVE? Talk to me. What's the matter?"

Hearing the distress and worry in her voice he fought through the pain and forced a smile, stroking her cheek as he did and trying to hide the pain from his voice.

"Nothing's wrong ... At least not when you're here with me ... "

Jeannie's Stone instincts didn't fail her however and she had noticed the slight waver in his voice.

"No ... You're in pain Steve. I can hear it in your voice. I'm going to get the nurse ..." she said as panic started to fill her and she rose to hurry back towards the Hospital but Steve grabbed her hand and held her fast.

"NO! ... Jeannie, not yet ... Please ... Please don't go yet. There are things I still need to say to you ..."

She heard his desperation and felt torn between allowing him to say whatever it was he seemed desperate to talk about and getting him the medical assistance she felt he was well overdue receiving. She sat back down and reached for his other hand so that she now clasped both.

"Steve you're hurting. I can feel it. We need to get the nurse. You can still tell me about whatever it is that's bothering you when you're more comfortable ..."

"No ... Please let me talk about it now. Jeannie ... I NEED to talk about it now. There's so much I want to say before ... the pain gets too bad and they drug me again ..."

Again she frowned as her reasoning failed but knowing his reasoning had a certain validity to it, she reluctantly gave in and nodded her head hesitantly.

"Ok ... What is it you want to say?"

He took a few purposeful deep breaths and she felt his hands shake and her anxiousness increased, wondering what was coming.

"I ... I want us to take this nice and slow Jeannie. You know all my past relationships I ah ... rushed into them head first and without too much thought and then they ah fizzled out and I don't want the same to happen this time. I want to love you forever Jeannie so ... let's take it slow ok? Let's make this work. Let's do it right."

Jeannie beamed proudly on hearing his words and spoke teasingly.

"So does that mean you're going to court me Steve Keller with real dates and everything?"

He smiled back.

"You better believe it Jeannie Stone but ah ... I have to get out of here first, huh?"

Jeannie nodded understandingly but watched as Steve's expression darkened again a little.

"Jeannie, I ... I don't have a lot to offer you right now. I ... well I'm kind of between jobs, right?"

He nervously chuckled as the last words left his lips before continuing.

"I mean, I'm not sure exactly how this teaching gig is gonna pan out yet or if it's even going to work. So many things for me right now are up in the air Jeannie and I can't give you any guarantees how they're going to fall ..."

Jeannie heard Steve pour out in heart wrenching detail the fears that he had obviously been harboring for the last four weeks and her heart ached for him. She couldn't listen to his self doubt a second longer. She needed to reassure him. As he stopped talking temporarily to clear the palpable lump in his throat, she squeezed his hands and spoke confidently.

"Now you listen to me Steve Keller. You're going to be the best teacher they ever had in that college and if I know you and I think I do, you'll work towards being a full Professor someday. You hear me? I won't let you put yourself down like that ..."

Steve smiled at her speech and felt his emotions overload at her defiant declaration of faith in him. She felt him squeeze her hands back gratefully and his voice wavered.

"Oh Jeannie! ... I wish I had the same faith in me that you always do ..."

Jeannie smiled mischievously.

"That's ok. I've got enough faith in you for the both of us right now. Is that ... all that's bothering you?"

Steve shook his head and she could see that whatever else was bothering him was even more tortuous than before. The deep pain in his eyes disturbed her and she found herself moving closer to him.

"No ... I want you to finish college and follow that career you have so much passion about. I want to see you put all those great plans you often told me about into action, ok? "

Jeannie was touched by his consideration but worried about not being there for him as much at the same time. Especially now with his recovery far from complete. She laid her head on his shoulder and more carefully this time wrapped her hands around his waist.

"You know that will mean us being apart a lot, don't you?"

She felt Steve's chin rest gently against the top of her head and from her close contact she could feel his trembling more pronounced. She heard his labored breathing and waited patiently for his pained reply.

"Sure, I know ... but we've gotten by fairly ok up to this ..."

Jeannie raised her head to stare up at him and he knew she was recalling this past week and what he'd been through in her absence. Swallowing hard, he quickly continued making it sound as positive as he was able.

"Look, I know it's not going to be easy and all but well ... we can meet up at weekends whenever we can and maybe we can meet each other somewhere half way between there and here other times. I mean I don't have a fast car for nothing, right? And I'll call you all the time ... Ok?"

Knowing he was trying to be positive and feeling that was a huge improvement on his sombre moods of late, she smiled and spoke mischievously to lighten the moment.

"You better ..."

Steve smiled at her response but then she felt his mood deteriorate suddenly. She saw and felt a palpable sadness fill his eyes as he looked down lovingly at her. He reached up and stroked her hair again absentmindedly and she was sure his eyes were moistening again. Concerned she reached up one hand and cupped his cheek.

"Steve? What is it? What's wrong?

"Jeannie ... You know Dr. Lowell he ... he thinks that more than likely I'm going to make a full recovery and that ah ... I'll get back to almost the same fitness level I was before eventually but ... there are no guarantees there either Babe ... I mean it's only been four weeks and I got a partial blockage from the scar tissue already and it could happen again or there could be ... further complications down the line. I ... I may need more procedures or surgeries and ... Jeannie I ... I just don't want you to be ... "

Steve felt more tears build as he struggled to talk about his uncertain future. He had to stop talking as he regained his strength. In his dreams their future hadn't been plagued by these problems but this was his reality now. She had to be aware of what she was possibly letting herself in for. He almost felt that he shouldn't allow her to accept second best which is what he felt he had become compared to others that would make her a better partner in life. She saw how torn and broken he was as he spoke of his health and again she ached for him.

"STEVE? What don't you want me to be?"

He swallowed back down the upset that was rapidly rising in his throat and spoke before it could rise again.

"I don't want you to be saddled with an invalid Jeannie. I ... I love you too much for that ... I couldn't bear to be the one holding you back from all those wonderful dreams you have. That would ... that would kill me,Jeannie."

Steve frowned as another tear escaped from his eye and he swiped at it in annoyance at himself for letting her see it. She hugged him gently to her as she saw his upset, careful not to hurt his chest. His face now pressed against her left cheek and his arm raised to clasp around her shoulders, she reached one hand up to hold the back of his neck and whispered in his ear, her own voice wavering a little as she did.

"Steve Keller you listen to me. You are many things but an invalid is NOT one of them! None of my dreams would mean the same to me if you weren't by my side as I achieve them. And whatever happens from now on with that heart of yours, we're going to face it together. You hear me?"

She felt Steve nod, his breathing still erratic and she felt in that instant she needed to reassure him some more. She pulled him gently back a little to face her and cupped his face. She wiped at his damp cheek and spoke with a strength that came from somewhere deep inside her.

"Steve, listen to me ok? I know you're worried about what the future holds for you but instead of worrying about what hasn't happened yet you need to look at how far you've come. At how strong you've been in the past and how that same strength will see you through this time too. "

Steve stared at her and then seemed to think about what she said. His voice was refusing to work so before he could respond, Jeannie clasped his cheek softly and spoke again .

"Steve, just consider everything you've come through. I mean you've had to be strong your whole life, right? You were orphaned at five years old. I bet you felt just as bad then as you do now but you went to live with Harry and things got alright again for a while, didn't they?"

She watched as Steve nodded weakly.

"Then you had to deal with his tragic death and that awful time in your Uncle's house. I know you've probably only told us half of what you suffered there in that place but you survived that too. And not only did you survive it, you left that house with your head held high and your dignity intact and there aren't many who could have done that, let me tell you. Apart from the money Harry left you, you paid your own way through college. How many part time jobs did you tell me you held down back then, huh?"

Steve seemed to be remembering each thing she mentioned. She saw the changing expressions on his face as she went through all the tragedies and hardships he'd made it through in the past. He half smiled and answered her question.

"Four ..."

"Four. How in God's name you managed that I'll never know Steve. "

"I ah ... didn't sleep much except for a few hours on the Matthews' couch per night."

Jeannie cringed inwardly as she realized how tiring and difficult those times must have been for him and felt suddenly grateful that Judge Matthews had been there to support him at that time.

"That first year of Law School. Did you pass your exams?"

Steve blushed slightly and smiled wider.

"With flying colours ..."

"See what I mean? With no sleep, hardly anywhere to lay your head and just Judge Matthews in your corner and yet you still succeeded. Then you decided on Law Enforcement. You got into the Academy and I don't have to remind you that you were the youngest guy ever to make Assistant Inspector, do I?"

Steve shook his head and blushed redder, that fact having caused quite a stir at the time.

"And your time on the force hasn't exactly been a walk in the park now has it? I mean you've had to deal with some tough things and you were forced to make some really hard decisions with that gun of yours and you've had to live with those decisions. I saw the way they affected you ... even though you always put a brave face on it for my benefit. And you faced your biggest challenge yet the ... night you were shot. "

She had paused before mentioning it and when she did she felt his whole body shake at the memory of it.

"Steve that night and in that operating theater, something inside you decided to fight to stay with us. And if I know you and I think I do, part of the reason you fought so hard was because ... " Her own voice was starting to fail her but she cleared her throat and battled on regardless knowing he needed to hear it. "... because you hadn't got to talk to Mike ..."

She felt Steve tense up and stared into his tortured green eyes. He nodded and then spoke shakily.

"Yeah, you're right but the other reason was because I ... I hadn't got to tell you how I felt about YOU."

Jeannie smiled and reached up to plant another tender kiss on his lips. When the kiss ended, they both were holding back tears. Jeannie recovered first.

"I'm sure glad you stuck around to tell me."

"Yeah ... Me too ..."

"So you see now don't you? You've been through worse and you've always come through. You're the strongest person I know Steve Keller, well maybe the second strongest ..." she added as she thought of her father and she could tell by Steve's smile he agreed with her summation. " and now you've got the first and third strongest people right by your side as well. Now if those aren't good odds then I don't know what else to say to convince you that you're going to be just fine."

Steve smiled and remained staring at Mike's daughter. His heart almost swelled with pride at the fact that she was willing to be at his side regardless of what the future held and she was right, just like her Father. He hadn't been able to fully see past the negative impact of his injury but he HAD survived some horrific things in his past and some of them he had come through alone. This time he had the girl he loved and the man he cherished like a Father in his corner and fate hadn't a hope against that winning team. He could hardly believe his luck. Actually he almost didn't believe it. He shuddered all of a sudden and the unexpected sudden tremor scared Jeannie.

"STEVE! What's wrong ? Are you alright? Are you still cold?"

She felt his hands which felt like ice beneath her warm fingertips and grew alarmed by the biting cold.

"Oh my God Steve! You're freezing. Your hands are like ice."

Steve smiled and tried to reassure her in a lighthearted tone despite the one niggling worry suddenly eating away at him.

"No, no it's ok. You know what they say? Cold hands, warm heart."

"Steve, I'm going to get that nurse now. You've been out here in the cold long enough."

Once more she tried to get up but Steve panicked and grabbed her hand.

"NO ... DON'T GO!"

Jeannie could see and hear his blind panic and wondered what had caused it all of a sudden. He had seemed quite content mere seconds before.

"STEVE? Why don't you want me to go?"

Steve was breathing now way too fast and it wasn't helping his lightheadedness.

"Jeannie this is really happening, right?"

Again his sudden confusion alarmed her.

"Steve what do you mean? Of course this is really happening."

"Only I have this really bad feeling Jeannie that I'm going to wake up in a heap at the end of one of those stairwells and this is all going to have been just a dream. A really beautiful dream."

Jeannie almost sighed with relief as she realized what he was fearing. She smiled and reaching up, she unexpectedly pulled him into an extra passionate kiss. He met her kiss with an almost palpable desperation and secretly wished it would never end. When finally their lips reluctantly parted she grinned mischievously as she saw the physical effects her kiss had had on him. He was breathing erratically and his eyes were glazed with sheer bliss as she spoke teasingly.

"Didn't that feel real to you?"

Steve smiled and spoke breathlessly.

"Oh yeah ... But dreams can be deceiving that way ... I think I need a lot more convincing."

She laughed at his statement and kissed him again a second time. As their lips came apart, she chuckled again.

"How about now? Are you convinced yet?"

"I'm getting there ... " he replied cheekily but as he bent down to claim a third kiss, his calf muscles suddenly cramped violently and his chest pain returned mercilessly.

In mid swoop, he winced and inhaled sharply as the pain caught him by surprise and he reached to grab for his leg and chest with both hands.

"That's it. I'm getting the nurse "Jeannie announced determinedly.

Once more he stopped her.

"JEANNIE ..."

Turning to face him, she spoke softly.

"Hold out your hand ..."

"What?"

"Give me your hand Steve."

Confused but trusting, he bit back another yelp of pain as his legs spasmed painfully and he held out a shaking hand in her direction. She reached into her purse and produced the photo booth picture from earlier. Without showing it to him, she placed it face down in his hand and closed his fist around it. He went to open it but she stopped him.

"No. Don't look at what I gave you. Not yet. I want you to just hold it until after you've got back inside and you've gotten some rest. When you wake up later and you worry that this was all a dream, then you can open your hand and see what I put there and then you'll know it wasn't just a dream, ok? Now you HAVE to let me go and get the nurse, ok?"

He could feel something in his hand and took comfort in her words. As another wave of muscles spasms tore through the back of his leg muscles he nodded and gathered enough faith and courage to let go of her hand. He doubled over in pain as he watched her run back towards the Hospital and prayed his worst fears wouldn't come true, clutching the object in his hand as if his life depended on it.

 **A/N: Apologies again for the lengthy delay in updating my stories. My kids have been on midterm break so writing time has been scarce and like the chapter before I wanted to take my time on this one to make sure I had it exactly the way I envisaged it. Thank you all again for your encouraging words and the positive feedback on the last update and I hope you enjoy this one as much, if not more ;-)**


	34. Chapter 34

**A Promise Kept**

Chapter 34

Mike came the through the Lobby door and immediately saw Sylvia heading towards him pushing a wheelchair. When she saw the older man she hastened her step and her concern was clearly evident.

"Mike? Is he alright? "

Mike put out his hands to calm her and stop her haste.

"He's ok. Don't worry. Jeannie's with him."

She continued to fluster however as she headed towards the Lobby door.

"Mike he was very cold. We need to get him back up to CCU."

Mike admired her unwavering care towards her patients and her dedication but right now Steve and Jeannie needed a few minutes alone to sort out their feelings and put things on a more even keel, so in desperation he once more reached for Sylvia's arm, his tone when he spoke this time more pleading than before.

"Sylvia, I know this is asking a lot but can you just give them a few minutes please? There's a few things they need to sort out and well ... it's important."

Sylvia looked towards the door and then back to Mike and answered with a degree of reluctance.

"Mike, he's only getting over a serious infection and we don't know what damage he's done by his unplanned excursion. I really think we should just get him inside and sorted and then they can talk ..."

Mike knew he couldn't argue with her logic and also that he couldn't expect her to understand the delicate situation that had developed over the last twenty fours but he knew he owed it to his daughter and former partner to try and gain them a few more minutes to say what they had to say to each other.

"Please Sylvia. Just a few minutes. Look, I'll stay at the door and watch them carefully and if anything looks off then I'll even help you get him inside. I won't get in your way I PROMISE. It's just that ... well it's complicated but you have to trust me that if you give them these few minutes they need then ... it will really help him in the long run with his recovery. You see he ... well actually THEY ah ... love each other but they ... they've never told each other. That's what they're ... or at least what I HOPE they're telling each other right now. So you see ... it really is important."

Mike finished his heartfelt speech and looked pleadingly at Sylvia and knew immediately his explanation had had the desired effect. Her determination to reach her patient visibly waned and she walked more slowly closer to the door and stared out at the two people now sitting on the bench. Mike followed and watched over her shoulder anxiously and then watched as Sylvia turned once more to face him, the struggle between duty and compassion clearly evident on her face. After a brief few seconds, she answered somewhat hesitantly.

"Alright Mike. We'll give them ten minutes but if Steve shows any signs that he's in trouble ..."

" ...Yes, yes I understand. You can go and help him then of course. And ... thank you Sylvia ... I really appreciate it and I know they will too."

Sylvia smiled and patted Mike's arm.

"You're lucky I'm a hopeless romantic! Did ... did you know? How they felt about each other?"

"I'd like to say yes but the truth is ... I didn't. Not until last night anyway. I just hope finally telling her how he feels helps him with this whole mess. He needs this. I think that maybe ... well maybe we all do ... "

Sylvia patted his shoulder again and smiled warmly, then looking slightly wistful as she glanced away, she spoke quietly in a hushed tone.

"I can conquer the world with one hand ... as long as you're holding the other ..."

Mike was somewhat taken aback by the statement and smiling, he asked curiously.

"I'm sorry ... What was that?"

Blushing visibly, Sylvia spoke hesitantly.

"It was what my husband said to me on our Wedding Day ... Let's hope Steve feels the same holding hers ..."

Sylvia's words really brought a lump to Mike's throat. He struggled to speak and when he did, he mumbled emotionally.

"That ... well that was beautiful. Really beautiful."

Still slightly embarrassed by her revelation and Mike's emotional reaction to it she added humorously.

"Thanks ... That's why I married him ..."

They both chuckled and then Mike seemed to remember something important and looking around the lobby intently, he asked Sylvia.

"Say, where's Rita? Her shift is over now, isn't it? She ... she didn't go home did she? Have ... have I missed her?"

Sylvia smiled at Mike's mention of Rita and the fact that Rita had asked just as passionately where Mike was and how he was, mere minutes before. She reassured the older man calmly.

"No, no you haven't. Lisa checked in to CCU, for her shift and Rita went up to fill her in on what's been happening. Rita's concerned that Steve is due painkillers soon and went to get meds for him ready too just in case. She should be back down any minute. Look, I just need to check in with Recovery to explain why I'm running late for my own shift. I'll just be over there at the Reception desk using the phone, if you need me. You'll keep an eye on Steve?"

"Yes ... I will, don't worry. You go ahead and make your call."

Sylvia nodded gratefully and headed off towards Reception while Mike stepped right up to the glass door and stared out at Steve and Jeannie.

They were seated beside each other but Steve sure looked awkward and out of his comfort zone. He couldn't help chuckle a little at Steve's nervous looking expression. He knew from all his years as Steve's partner and throughout their strong bond of friendship that the young man never found it easy to express his feelings at the best of times but he knew that expressing his love for Jeannie was going to be his biggest challenge yet. He watched them talk and then smiled with pride as he watched Steve suddenly lean in swiftly and kiss Jeannie. He knew by watching that Jeannie hadn't expected the move and smiled as he remembered the advice he had given Steve about what he needed to do if he found the words too difficult to say. More pride filled his heart at the fact that Steve had actually trusted and taken his advice. He couldn't help but feel some tears threaten as he watched the two people he cared for more than anything else, hold each other in a passionate embrace and he was so lost in the happy sight that he never heard the older nurse approach him from behind and peer over his left shoulder.

"Ahem! ... Should you really be watching that Mike? Perhaps they should be allowed a little privacy?" Rita asked playfully as Mike startled at her voice and looked sideways to see her now standing slightly behind him. He smiled at her before quickly returning his glance to the two special people he cared for deeply on the bench a little ways off ahead of him.

"Probably not ..." he answered mid-chuckle " but I promised Sylvia I'd keep an eye on him until she gets back from making her call. "

He watched their kiss end and their foreheads touch and he sighed heavily with relief and emotion. Dragging his eyes from the heart lifting scene, he looked sideways at Rita again and spoke shakily, as a means of explanation for his current overcome demeanor

"Who would have thought it, huh? They're in love. Crazy about each other. "

As he looked back proudly at the loving couple, Rita smiled wider and watching them too, she responded in a matter of fact tone.

"Yes ... I know ..."

That answer took Mike by surprise and he looked back at her incredulously.

"You know? ... Since when?"

Rita laughed and placed a sympathetic hand on his back.

"Oh Mike! Didn't you see it? It was obvious in the way he talked about her and acted around her. He was smitten. I even noticed a huge improvement in his mood whenever she was around. "

Mike's jaw dropped as she spoke.

"You saw all that, huh? "

Rita nodded and Mike shook his head in disbelief.

"Well I'll be damned. Probably everyone else saw it except me. I guess I've been missing that old elusive woman's intuition all these years to give me some insight. Helen could spot things like that in the blink of an eye."

Rita's smile brightened and Mike once more felt a strange attraction to this woman who had held him so strangely captivated these last two days. Even after the mention of his wife's name, her smile had never faltered and he loved that about her. Before he could say anything else, another voice broke the silence as Lisa exited the elevator and hurried towards them holding a small handheld tray of medical supplies in her hand.

"Rita, I have Steve's pain meds but Ann said Dr. Lowell called a few minutes ago. He's coming to CCU in a little while to check on Steve. We really need to get him back up there before he finds out he's been on the missing list. "

Mike watched Rita's face darken briefly.

"Oh dear, yes you're right. I don't think Dr. Lowell will be too happy with any of us for letting Steve over do things as he has. Let's just give him and Jeannie a few more minutes and then we'll go and get him in, ok?"

Lisa nodded before being joined by Sylvia as she hurried back from Reception. As the two young nurses saw Rita and Mike together they exchanged a brief smile before Sylvia spoke next.

"We'll watch them now Mike if you like ..."

Mike nodded gratefully to them both and together with Rita they moved further across the Lobby to continue their conversation as Sylvia and Lisa now stood at the Lobby door watching Steve and Jeannie instead.

As they walked to a quieter spot, Mike spoke in a flustered tone.

"You know for a minute back there I thought ... well I thought you had finished your shift and gone home and that ... that I'd missed you."

"Michael Stone! Do you really think I'd go home without making sure Steve was back settled in CCU and alright? Especially when he went missing on my watch?"

Mike blushed and answered apologetically.

"No ... I didn't really think you would ... Sorry."

Rita smiled warmly and Mike could tell she wasn't mad at him.

"Besides ... I wouldn't have left without saying goodbye to you either."

This time her words caused Mike's grin to widen.

"You wouldn't?"

Rita shook her head and then sidestepped slightly behind him unexpectedly. Mike sucked in a deep and unsteadying breath as her arms slowly encircled his waist. He closed his eyes as memories of Helen flooded back involuntarily into his mind as that old familiar and much loved feeling of being held lovingly threatened to overwhelm him again. He took a few more deep breaths before he spoke teasingly, albeit with a slight shake to his voice.

"Hey now! You wouldn't use that personal information I told you about how Helen used to hold me against me now would you?"

Rita's head moved to the side to stare at him as she feigned a pretend hurt expression without relinquishing her hold on his waist and spoke playfully again.

"Who ME? Now do you really think I would do a thing like THAT?"

Mike chuckled and managed to very slowly turn within the circle of her arms until he was now facing her and plucking up the courage to, he then placed his arms slowly around her waist and breathed a sigh of relief as she didn't protest the move. At the same time he spoke almost breathlessly, a huge smile spreading across his face.

"I SURE hope so ..."

That made Rita laugh and she held him even tighter.

"You know if you're advertising for a new provider of woman's intuition, I may just apply for the position."

Mike laughed as she mirrored his statement from earlier about his gifted shoulder massage and admired her wit and ingenuity.

"Well, if you do ... I don't think there'll be any need to interview any other candidates for the job ..."

Rita played along and teased back.

"Are you sure you don't want to keep your options open? Maybe there's another lucky woman out there just waiting to meet you Mike Stone."

"Oh I don't know about that ... Besides ... I don't think any of them could ever come close to having a heart as big ... or a smile as heartwarming as yours."

Touched by his compliments she leaned forward and cupped his cheek with her hand.

"That's a very sweet thing to say Mike. Thank you " Rita beamed.

No-one had made her feel this special since her husband passed away and she couldn't believe how fate had introduced them to each other as if on cue in such an extraordinary way. The chemistry between them was palpable and her breathing was slowly becoming faster as she felt him hold her close. Within the close contact they were sharing, Mike suddenly had an idea and finding courage from somewhere inside he spoke enthusiastically.

"Say Rita? I don't suppose ... well after we get Steve inside and checked out and everything first of course if you'd ... well ... If you'd like to have breakfast with me?"

Rita moved slightly back and pretended to look shocked which only caused Mike to regret his choice of words and she smiled as he flustered endearingly.

"Well I mean now of course ... after your shift and before you have to go home to bed. I mean YOUR bed of course and well ... obviously alone but ... Oh dear ... I mean I wasn't insinuating that we should have breakfast together after ... well after ... Oh boy! I'm going to shut up now ..." he ended, as his cheeks flamed with red and he released his arms around her waist out of embarrassment. Rita chuckled at his flustering and moved to put him out of his discomfort. Dropping her own arms from his waist and taking both his hands in hers she smiled at him sweetly.

"It's alright Mike. I knew what you meant and ... and I think it's a WONDERFUL idea. I'd LOVE to."

Mike's embarrassed fluster ended as her words filtered through his mortification.

"You do? ... I mean you WOULD?"

"Absolutely! In fact, I know just the place. There's a diner just down the street that makes the best breakfasts in San Francisco. I go there often. They even make a great breakfast chilli."

Mike almost stopped where he stood.

"Wait a minute! Did you say chilli for breakfast?"

This time it was Rita's turn to blush and look flustered.

"Oh I'm sorry. I know that probably sounds awful to you ...It's just that my Bob swore by it and kind of got me hooked years ago when we dated at first and ... Oh dear! I've probably put you off now, haven't I? It's just that he always said that on a cold morning it ..."

Mike grabbed her hands tighter and finished her sentence for her in a very shaky voice.

" ... warmed you up from the inside out and got the juices flowing."

Rita's jaw dropped in surprise and she asked in disbelief.

"YES. That's exactly what he said. How ... however did you know that?"

Mike half chuckled and spoke with a distinct admiration in his voice.

"Because that's what I always say too. You know that husband of yours sounds like my kind of guy. "

"What YOU say? You mean ... you LIKE chilli for breakfast too?"

Mike chuckled harder.

"LIKE it? I LOVE IT! I cant tell you how many cold mornings Pop's chilli got me through when I was just a cop on the beat."

"Wow! I can't believe this. Do you know how many people think I'm crazy for liking it for breakfast?"

Mike was now chuckling even harder.

"Probably as many that think I am ... Steve included. You know I treated it to him once for breakfast and you should have seen his face. I swear he turned every colour of the rainbow when he tasted it. He coughed for about ten minutes afterwards and drank about a liter of juice to wash it down. Come to think of it, it was a little extra spicy that particular day. Anyway, that was the one and only time he ate chilli for breakfast, let me tell you ..."

"Oh poor Steve. I guess it's not to everyone's taste first thing in the morning, huh?"

"Yeah, yeah you're right. I guess it's not but well ... I can't believe that you actually like it. What a strange coincidence is that?"

Rita looked at Mike and smiled sweetly.

"It sure is ... Listen Mike ... I know this is going to sound a little crazy but ... well it almost feels like ... like ..."

Mike could sense Rita's reluctance to complete her sentence so he took the opportunity to see if she was thinking the same thing he was.

" ... like we've known each other for longer than we have?"

Again Rita seemed shocked that he felt it too and she stammered accordingly

"Yes ... yes, EXACTLY! You feel that too?"

Mike nodded, his words failing him for a few seconds before he spoke honestly.

"Yes ... I feel comfortable with you, the same as I would with an old friend ..."

Their joint revelations temporarily quietened them both are they struggled to figure out what it meant exactly and if fate was in play here in some strange and predestined way. As they remained lost in each others presence, the rest of the Lobby seemed to zone out and they hadn't even noticed Lisa and Sylvia dashing out the Lobby door in a distinct hurry. Eventually Mike spoke again, this time staring into her mesmerizing hazel green eyes as he did.

"Tell me something Rita. What is about you that seems to always get me all tongue tied and unable to speak coherently, huh? "

Rita laughed and blushed again, answering both modestly and humorously

"Well let's see now. It's certainly not my dazzling beauty ... Or my smooth unwrinkled skin or even my sometimes arthritic shoulders so I'm actually not sure what it is that you see in me, Mike Stone. "

Mike chuckled at her witty answers and then stepped in closer, his hands leaving hers to reach around her waist once more, his left hand lingering on the small of her back, all the time still staring into her eyes unnervingly.

"Well do you want to know what I see when I look in your eyes, Rita?"

Rita was feeling a little distracted by Mike's closer presence and took an extra few deep breaths before stammering awkwardly.

"Please don't say Helen ..."

"No, no ... Don't worry. I wasn't going to say that, honest."

"Ok then ... In that case, tell me ..."

"I see kindness and compassion and a very ... big heart with lots of love in it to spare ... and then some."

Rita felt tears prick at her eyes as his words brought home how lonely her life was sometimes and how she missed conversations and intimate embraces such as this one. She snaked her hands around his waist again too, purposefully drawing the same anticipated tense reaction from him as she stared up into his eyes in return.

"Ok. My turn. Do you want to know what I see when I look in those striking blue eyes of yours Mike?"

Mike smiled as she played along with the same observation. Intrigued, he grinned and added nervously.

"Sure ... Just please don't say cold ..."

"Oh no! Quite the opposite actually. I see warmth and wisdom and a great love and concern for those who mean the world to you. I also see a lot of history and ... and pain ..."

Inhaling sharply at Rita's wise perception, he tried to use humor as a distraction.

"Pain? What are you going to do? Step on my toe?"

Rita smiled but knew what he was trying to do and so continued anyway.

"No ... I see pain in your past. You've seen a lot of troubled things in your life Mike Stone and lived through your share of sadness, haven't you?"

Again Mike persisted in trying to brush off the observation that was getting a little too close to the truth for comfort.

"Oh I don't know about that! No more than the next person. A cop sees many troubled things. It's part and parcel of the job. As for sadness, we've all suffered loss in our lives. I guess it ... well I guess it helps make us who we are. Say, seeing as you see so many things from the past in my eyes ... can you see what's in my future too?"

Rita smiled wider and held him closer.

"Sure ... I see happiness and a large bowl of breakfast chilli with crackers."

Mike chuckled.

"Well now that's a future sure worth living for ... Do you happen to see if I have company in all that happiness."

"Oh yes ... I think that's a certainty."

Now so close to each other, Mike felt his heart race faster and as he seemed unsure whether or not it would be appropriate to kiss her here in such a public place , Rita took charge and spoke for him.

"Mike, you do know my shift finished twenty five minutes ago, don't you?"

Mike startled a little at her words and looked at her curiously, so she continued purposefully.

"That means it's ok to DISTRACT me now Mike ..."

At her words Mike swallowed hard and he quickly glanced around to see if anyone was watching them. In an unsteady voice he spoke almost in a whisper.

"Yes, yes I guess it does ... but well ...isn't it a bit public here though? I mean ... I don't want to start tongues wagging like we did earlier in the canteen. You do have to work here you know?"

"Mike, I am way too long in the tooth to worry about wagging tongues, besides ... right now I don't see anyone here but us ..."

Rita's attitude and sentiment touched him deeply and so without further delay he swooped down and savored their very first kiss.

Minutes earlier, Sylvia and Lisa had been watching Steve and Jeannie and occasionally stealing a sideways glance at Rita and Mike, finding it very sweet that the older couple seemed to be developing quite an interesting friendship. In the gossip filled Hospital cafeteria, Rita's new friendship had become quite the talking point, but to Sylvia and Lisa who knew Rita so well, they were merely pleased that after her intense grief over her husband's death, that she was perhaps getting a second chance to be happy again. It was a heart warming thing to witness. However their happy observances were short lived as they watched Steve double over on the bench outside and saw Jeannie running in an alarmed state towards them. Both nurses immediately flew into action and hurried outside towards Jeannie, Sylvia pushing the wheelchair and Lisa carrying the necessary pain medication. Jeannie met them and spoke in a panicked tone.

"Please hurry. He seems to be in a lot of pain."

All three women hurried towards Steve who remained doubled forward, his left hand clasped to his chest, his complexion almost ashen and his brow caked in perspiration. Reaching him, Jeannie quickly sat beside him again and clasped his left hand supportively and she saw the relief in his eyes as they visibly sought her out and felt his grip tighten around hers while Sylvia abandoned the wheelchair on the path and quickly knelt in front of him. Lisa remained standing as she put the tray down on the bench beside Steve and immediately started prepping the syringe.

"STEVE? Talk to us. Where are you in pain? Is it your heart?" Sylvia asked anxiously, afraid that the overexertion had caused more serious complications after his surgery and recent angiogram.

Steve fought through the searing pain of his sternum and the aching muscles in the back of his legs to answer albeit it fitfully and slightly out of breath.

"No ... No it's in the ... middle of my chest ... and my leg muscles are cramping ..."

Sylvia and Lisa exchanged a worried glance before Sylvia took charge and spoke again as Lisa continued prepping the syringe of pain meds she had brought with her.

"Steve? Did you fall at any stage when you were coming down here?"

Again Steve shook his head before groaning as another bad pain tore through his chest. When it abated he spoke shakily.

"No, no I didn't fall but ... I ... I missed my footing and stumbled down the last few steps ..." he admitted as he remembered experiencing similar bad chest pain just after that stumble.

Again Sylvia looked at Lisa and Jeannie noted the concern on both their faces. Sylvia placed a hand on Steve's arm and spoke calmly.

"Steve you could have jolted the wires that are holding your rib-cage together and moved them or done some damage."

At Sylvia's words, Steve paled even further and his gaze held apprehension and horror. Jeannie also spotted his reaction and her right arm now came around his shoulders and she could feel a palpable tremor before she heard his pained voice.

"Damage? Is ... is that possible? I mean I didn't actually fall ... I just stumbled. What ... what kind of damage could there be? "

Having not intentionally meant to alarm him, Sylvia regretted her words as she saw the worry that joined the pain his green eyes held. Not wanting to elaborate about the potential internal bruising or bleeding his stumble could have caused, Sylvia chose to console and alleviate his worries instead.

"Let's not worry about that yet unless we have reason to, ok? First we need to get pain meds into you and then get you inside to be checked out, alright Steve?"

Steve nodded halfheartedly before once more turning to look at Jeannie who smiled at him to try and ease his concern, despite the way her own mind and heart were racing after hearing Sylvia's words. Her smile worked as he smiled back at her as her mere presence and support seemed to calm him considerably. He didn't even bat an eyelid or turn his eyes from Jeannie as he felt Lisa take hold of his right arm and pull his pajama sleeve up to expose the cannula. Neither did he wince or seem to mind as the syringe was flushed and the pain medication was deftly injected. However his legs were aching and cramping fiercely and the overall burning pain from his chest and the exhaustion that was rapidly catching up on him eventually took their toll and he suddenly sighed heavily as a strong dizzying sensation made him slump sideways with his eyes closed towards Jeannie as she caught him against her shoulder and panicked.

"SYLVIA! ..."

Sylvia however had seen the sudden deterioration and quickly rushed forward to assist them both.

"It's alright. The pain and tiredness are just getting to him. We need to get him back upstairs and lying down again."

Having alleviated Jeannie's worry she hastily turned her full attention back to Steve. Tapping his cheek lightly she called to him loudly.

"STEVE! Look at me now. Steve? STEVE?"

Steve's eyes flickered opened momentarily against Jeannie's shoulder as he tried to figure out what was happening. Everything had seemed to fade out for a few seconds. He felt really weak all of a sudden and the pain he was in was almost taking his breath away. He panicked as he remembered Jeannie and his earlier fears briefly surfaced about everything being just a dream however he could smell Jeannie's perfume and its familiar and almost comforting scent was giving him some hope as Sylvia's words reached him as mere muffled background noise. Seeing him visible struggling to come around, Sylvia grabbed the mobile oxygen from behind the wheelchair and within seconds had placed the mask over Steve's face and allowed the force of the oxygen to fill the mask and slowly bring him around. Within less than a minute, Steve's brain felt a little more clearer and less addled and his current slumped position against Jeannie became more apparent. He could feel a soft gentle hand stroking his forehead and the mumbled words around him became more distinct too. He heard two different voices speaking to him. The first voice was vaguely familiar however the second one was very familiar.

"That's it Steve. Nice deep breaths for me. Look at me now. Can you hear me?"

"Steve? It's ok Babe. Everything's going to be alright. Listen to the nurse Steve."

Steve forced his eyes open and saw Sylvia now leaning towards him. His eyes darted around in momentary panic until he heard Jeannie's voice anticipating his worry.

"I'm here Steve. It wasn't a dream."

She saw him look down at his right hand still curled in a fist around what she had given him and felt him visibly relax as he spoke to the nurse amid forcefully taken gulps of oxygen.

"What ... happened?"

"It's ok Steve. You're in a lot of pain and you're very tired and cold. Your body is struggling. I think your blood pressure is dropping. Its making you feel faint. We just need to get you back up to CCU and quickly. Those pain meds are going to take a while to kick in. Is the oxygen helping? We need to get you into the wheelchair without keeling over. Do you think you can manage to swing yourself across into the wheelchair with our help?"

Steve was struggling to process all she said but he valiantly nodded his head as he heard her last question. He desperately needed to lie down and rest. Right now he actually missed his comfortable bed up in CCU. He felt Jeannie and Sylvia get him back upright and despite the pain the movement caused in his chest, he managed to remain lucid and as Sylvia brought the wheelchair close to him he prepared himself for the sideways movement required. His leg muscles were still cramping mercilessly and he feared if he tried to stand they would buckle but the chair seemed close enough for him to swing across. He let go of Jeannie's hand momentarily to grab the arm of the chair and with three pair of hands assisting he was soon seated in the wheelchair. Removing Mike's overcoat from around his shoulders and handing it to Jeannie who draped it over her arm, Sylvia wrapped a warm blanket around Steve instead before heading at speed back towards the Hospital Lobby door.

As the wheelchair reached the door first and Jeannie opened it to allow Sylvia room to push him inside, Steve caught sight of Mike kissing Rita and flustered as he saw Jeannie about to notice too. With his good hand he pushed the wheelchair sideways blocking the entrance and then pulling the mask down off his face he tried to distract Jeannie and the nurses.

"WAIT! I ah ... I don't want to go back inside just yet. I ... I ah ... I think I need some more fresh air ..."

Sylvia hadn't expected the wheelchair to turn so suddenly and thinking that Steve was panicking about going back up to CCU, she tried to reassure him.

"Steve, it's ok. There's no need to worry but we have to get you back up to CCU NOW! You can get all the air you need from that mask. You need to put it back on."

Sylvia reached forward to replace the mask but Jeannie moved to go inside and Steve reached forward, avoiding the mask to stop her.

"Jeannie ... NO!"

"STEVE! What's got into you? " Jeannie said as she looked inside and suddenly saw her Father in a passionate embrace with Rita and her jaw dropped. Steve knew she had seen it and covered his face with his hand, muttering under his breath.

"Uh oh ..."

Jeannie watched as her Father pulled away slightly but remained in a close hug with the nurse. Both nurses looked at each other and at Jeannie's stunned reaction.

"Is ... is that Mike kissing Rita?" Jeannie asked in a shocked tone.

Steve looked up and spoke shakily.

"Ah yeah ... Looks like it ... Look Jeannie, don't freak out, ok?"

"Well when did all this happen? You KNEW about this Steve?"

Starting to feel a little light headed again but needing to reassure Jeannie without the cumbersome mask over his face, Steve persisted in trying to rectify the situation.

"Yeah, sort of ... I'm not sure when it happened ... exactly ... A ... a few days ago I think ... Look Jeannie ..."

Sylvia could hear Steve's breathing becoming more labored as his speech began to falter and so she quickly tried to intervene.

"Guys ... I really hate to break this up but we really need to get Steve back to CCU ..."

However in the shock of the moment, Jeannie wasn't paying attention.

"A few days ago? Well why didn't he say something to me about it? " Jeannie repeated still watching her Father intensely without his knowledge and sounding hurt that he hadn't confided in her as she had in him.

"He ah ... Look, I'm sure he was going to .. Look Jeannie ... Babe, give him a break huh? You know he ah ... he really likes her and I ... I think she likes him too. You know ah ... sometimes it takes a long time to ... fall in love with someone and sometimes ... it ... it only takes a few minutes ..."

As he said the last sentence, he stared at Jeannie purposefully which distracted her and made her smile.

"Well if that's the case ... how long did it take you Steve?"

Despite how weak he was feeling, he blushed and flustered.

"Oh no! You're ... not getting that information out of me ... THAT easily!" he stated humorously just before the pain in his chest burned again and he doubled forward again, letting out an involuntary groan as he did.

Sylvia and Lisa took charge and Lisa replaced the oxygen mask quickly over Steve's face and hurried inside to hold the door open while Sylvia pushed him quickly inside. With Mike and Rita's new found friendship temporarily forgotten in her renewed concern for the agonizing pain that Steve seemed to be in, Jeannie yelled Mike's name as they rushed into the Lobby. At the sound of his name, Mike turned and saw Steve being pushed towards him by Sylvia with Jeannie and Lisa either side of the wheelchair. Releasing Rita, Mike almost froze when he saw the condition Steve was in. He was bent forward in pain, the oxygen mask over his nose and mouth and Mike and Rita raced to meet them.

"Dear God! What's wrong with him? " Mike asked.

"He's in a lot of pain and he's very tired and cold. "

Rita joined the other nurses who quickly filled her in on what they had given him so far and Jeannie raced ahead to push the elevator button so that the doors would be hopefully open when they got there. Mike reached down and placed a hand on Steve's shoulder as he raced alongside the wheelchair and tried to reassure him.

"Hold on Steve. You're going to be ok Buddy Boy."

Seeing Jeannie racing ahead towards the elevator and Mike now at his side, Steve wanted to warn the older man about what had just happened. He grabbed Mike's arm and pulled him down towards him, trying to get the words out and breathe deeply at the same time which wasn't really working for him.

"Mi ... ke?"

"Shush now Buddy boy. Don't try to talk. Save your strength. " Mike pleaded but Steve's hold on the older man's arm tightened. Seeing the desperation in Steve's eyes and worrying about what was causing it he bent down close to Steve's face and spoke.

"Steve? What do you need to tell me that's so important that it can't wait until you're feeling better?"

Using every ounce of energy and strength he had left he almost choked out the words behind the mask.

"Jeannie ... saw you ... and Rita ..."

Mike wasn't sure if he had heard right but as he saw Steve's worried look he knew that he had.

"What? Just now?"

Steve nodded as he sucked in more oxygen to try and steady his rapidly beating heartbeat. Mike looked over to where Jeannie was standing pushing the elevator button frantically and rolled his eyes, knowing that Jeannie wouldn't have appreciated finding out about him and Rita that way. He looked back at Steve who was looking at him sympathetically.

"Sorry Mike ... I tried to stall her ..."

Mike patted his arm warmly.

'That's alright. I believe you. Don't you worry about that now. I'll sort it. Thanks for letting me know ... Now just keep breathing that oxygen and try to relax."

Even as the words left Mike's mouth, Steve doubled over again, this time grabbing his right leg as the muscle at the back spasmed painfully. Looking at Sylvia while keeping a firm grip on the younger man for fear of him toppling forward onto the floor out of the chair, he spoke in an alarmed tone.

"What's wrong with his legs?"

"Cramps ... He overexerted himself Mike. He wasn't up to doing what he did ... And his chest is hurting too. "

The doors to the elevator opened just as they got there and all six of them hurried inside and soon they were heading upwards and then down the corridor towards CCU. Rita entered first and her face fell and was soon followed by the other two nurse's as all three heard the raised voice of Dr. Lowell hurrying to greet them.

"What the HELL is going on here? And WHAT happened to Keller? "


	35. Chapter 35

**A Promise Kept**

 **A/N: Sorry for the long delay in updating this story. :-( Behind Him All The Way took over my muse and with kids on Summer Break, my writing time has been severely curtailed but I hope to update Digging Up The Past next to keep the three recent stories all updated. Thanks for your patience.**

Chapter 35

From where Mike stood he heard Steve groan rather loudly and he wasn't too sure if it was from the pain he was in this time or the fact that he wasn't too happy with Dr. Lowell's presence and reaction to his unplanned excursion either. As Lisa and Sylvia looked at each other tentatively, Rita piped up bravely.

"It's my fault Dr. Lowell. I left him in the bathroom to attend to Mr. Alexander for just a moment and when I came back he was missing. We immediately started looking for him and Sylvia found him down in the Hospital grounds. We got him back up here as quickly as we could."

Mike admired Rita's honesty and courage in accepting the blame for what happened, especially seeing as Dr. Lowell's expression was anything but sympathetic. As her explanation finished, the Doctor's face was less than accepting.

"The Hospital Grounds? How LONG was he out of CCU for?"

Mike watched as Rita never even flinched at the cold and accusing tone the Doctor used.

"Just about an hour Doctor. I take full responsibility for what happened and I deeply regret the incident but right now our priority should be to get him checked out and back to his room Doctor " she added in a matter of fact tone, unflinching in both her apology and her professionalism.

Mike beamed at her with pride yet watched nervously to see how the very serious looking Dr. Lowell would react. Dr. Lowell's face clouded a small bit at Rita's statement but then it was clear that he purposefully softened his look as he saw all eyes on him waiting for his instructions. Flustering a little he spoke urgently.

"Of course ... but we'll SPEAK more about this later Rita " he added seriously before turning his attention back quickly to his patient.

Steve who had been listening, despite the discomfort he was in, surprised everyone by removing his oxygen mask in one quick movement and speaking in a pained, breathless voice.

"Wait a minute ... Don't blame ... this on Rita. It was MY fault! I ... I told her I would wait for her ... outside the restroom and I ... I didn't ... If you want to be mad at someone ... you ... you can be mad at ME ... Not HER ..."

Dr Lowell scowled as he then hurried forward and knelt in front of Steve's wheelchair, wasting no more time in starting to assess Steve immediately. Placing the oxygen mask back on Steve's face purposefully, he answered sternly.

"We'll discuss YOUR actions later too Steve, but you have to know that while you took the action you did, that other people still remain responsible for them. Maybe you should have thought about THAT before you decided to go walk about for the second time in two days."

The cross look and reproachful answer caused Steve to look away and a certain redness to flush the young man's cheeks as Mike saw him look apologetically up at Rita. He was proud of how Steve had tried to take the blame for his actions and felt sorry for the stern reply he had received as a result but he noted also that Rita smiled warmly down at Steve and didn't show any ill will whatsoever. Dr Lowell took his stethoscope from around his neck and pushing the blanket aside in one swift action, he placed the end against Steve's chest. Mike noticed the Doctor's facial expression darken in seconds and then saw him examine Steve's scar and watched Steve wince painfully. Returning to his feet he barked instructions in an authoritative and urgent manner.

"His heart rate is way too fast and his skin is like ice. Let's get him to his room STAT. Rita get Kevin to help us."

Sylvia pushed Steve quickly down towards his room as Dr. Lowell, Lisa, Jeannie and Mike followed while Rita rushed off to find Kevin. As they entered the room, Dr. Lowell turned and addressed Mike and Jeannie abruptly.

"Medical staff ONLY for now until we assess him. Please wait down in the waiting area. I'll come and talk to you when I know more."

On hearing Dr. Lowell's words, Steve turned and looked out the door at Mike and Jeannie and they both saw his worried look. Jeannie immediately stepped forward as Rita and Kevin came rushing past her into the room behind her.

"Doctor, I think he'll be a lot calmer if you let us stay with him ..."

"I'm SORRY Miss but you need to wait down in the waiting area for now. I'll let you both back in to sit with him WHEN we have him stabilized."

"But Doctor ..." Jeannie started to argue as she squared up to the towering Consultant but Mike clasped her shoulders and spoke sympathetically.

"Come on Jeannie. Let's do what Dr. Lowell says for now. They need to get him checked out and ... and well we'd probably just be in the way at the minute. Let's go sit down and wait. We'll get back into him soon enough. Come on Sweetheart ... Let them do their job now."

Jeannie looked horrified at Mike but knew he was probably right. No good would come from aggravating Dr. Lowell any more than he already was so reluctantly she allowed Mike to lead her off down to the seated area beside Reception. However as Steve saw them being sent away he became even more uneasy. Pulling the mask from his face again he asked breathlessly as he watched the doorway anxiously.

"Wait a minute ... Where are ... Mike and Jeannie going?"

There was a frenzy of activity taking place around him and the already small room which was now filled with five members of staff felt even more claustrophobic that ever. Steve's bed was being fixed and the covers pulled down. Lisa seemed to be prepping medical equipment and Dr. Lowell was still barking instructions left right and center. Steve didn't think anybody heard his question and was feeling ignored until Rita suddenly appeared at his side and spoke compassionately.

"It's ok Steve. They'll be back into you as soon as we get you settled. Try not to worry."

Steve appreciated her words of comfort but as the activity started to refocus around him he was feeling more uncomfortable by the second. Dr. Lowell grabbed the oxygen and replaced it over his face before he had a chance to protest, his expression bordering on exasperation at Steve's constant removal of the said mask. The male nursing assistant had come behind him and without any warning he was being lifted from the chair, the Doctor taking his legs, causing them to spasm again mercilessly. The movement already aggravated his chest wound and he couldn't stop the agonized yell that escaped his lips at the level of pain that had been generated by his move. Seemingly suspended for several seconds in the sideways move he then felt the soft mattress beneath him as he struggled to get his breathing back under control. His head spun and the dizziness returned as his leg muscles complained and his chest throbbed deep inside. With his eyes now shut tight to stop the room from spinning before his eyes, Steve heard mere snippets of the surrounding conversation.

"Heart rate way too fast ... Back on heart monitor ... Glucose drip ... Ringers lactate ... "

Too much medical information was circulating too fast around him to process it all. He felt his top being unbuttoned and those dreaded pads being placed on his chest again in various places. He felt someone else tugging at his right arm and his sleeve being rolled up again. Having tried to curl into a ball after reaching the bed to try and relieve his leg cramps he now found himself being straightened out unceremoniously. Something was being placed under his left arm and he felt his top swinging open. He shivered as he felt exposed and uncovered and heard Dr. Lowell asking about when his last pain meds had been administered. As the pain abated a little, Steve opened his eyes and the flurry of activity around him was still in full flow. The thermometer under his left arm was removed and the Doctor scowled as he read the result, again barking new instructions.

"His temperature is too low. We need to get him warmed up. Fetch a foil blanket and some heat packs. "

Steve felt a steady throbbing in his right arm and turned his head in time to see Sylvia flushing his cannula with a syringe. He winced and she spoke apologetically at him, a warm smile lighting up her face as she did.

"Sorry Steve. That's the worst part over. We'll get your drip in now. Everything's going to be fine. I know all this medical attention is a little overwhelming but just try to hang in there, ok?"

Steve found comfort in her words but it was short lived as Dr. Lowell's voice invaded the caring moment between patient and nurse and bellowed again.

"Thanks for all your help Sylvia. We can take it from here. They're going to be missing you down in Recovery. They have a busy schedule down there today. You better get going."

"Yes, Doctor." Sylvia answered almost regimentally before casting a sympathetic eye back at Steve. She could tell he wasn't pleased to be losing another friendly face.

Steve stared at Sylvia and swallowed hard. She leaned in one last time and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"You behave yourself Keller and get some rest. I'll even pop up after my shift to make sure you are. How does that sound?"

Steve forced a smile and nodded, his words muffled behind the mask.

"Ok ... Thanks ..."

"You're welcome." Sylvia replied sweetly before turning to leave quickly as she felt Dr. Lowell's eyes watching her closely.

The pain burned in Steve's chest again and he groaned involuntarily causing the focus to build on him again much to his dismay. Dr. Lowell was back examining his chest and each time he gently pressed around his scar, a searing pain almost took his breath away. He closed his eyes and could hear Rita now beside him telling him to keep taking deep breaths of the oxygen.

"Steve when you said you stumbled on the stairs, did you get this same burning pain?"

Steve couldn't speak through the waves of pain assaulting his chest and he merely nodded as he heard Dr. Lowell's question. He heard the Doctor talking but lost track of the words as he struggled to breathe through the growing discomfort. He definitely heard the word scan though and cringed inwardly as he feared what that might entail. He began to wish the painkillers would take hold as the muscles in his legs were still annoying him too as they cramped unforgivingly. If only they had let Jeannie and Mike in. He needed to see them. To hear Jeannie's voice. He went to clasp his hand around whatever Jeannie had given him to gain whatever comfort it would provide but to his added horror he couldn't feel it there anymore. Troubled thoughts crowded his brain.

 _Had he imagined it all? Maybe it hadn't even happened. Or had he lost whatever it was? Oh God!_ He felt panic add to his other wavering emotions as he lifted his head to look down at his right hand which now lay empty. His breathing began to quicken as he struggled with the loss of such an important item. He could hear the heart monitor begin to pick up and pulling the mask from his face he started breathlessly trying to explain his worry.

"WAIT! ... I've lost something ... I ... I must have ... dropped it."

Steve started trying to look around the bed and even tried to peer over the side at the floor but that just caused an explosion of pain from his chest and as he yelled, he felt several hands restraining him and making him lie flat again.

"STEVE! You MUST keep the oxygen mask ON and lie still until we can get your chest scanned. You could have done some damage already and this is only going to make things WORSE! " Dr. Lowell instructed sternly but Steve wasn't paying any heed.

He needed to find what Jeannie had given him. He HAD TO! "

Fighting helplessly against the restraining hands he sought Rita and found her on his left side as he pleaded heartwrenchingly for her assistance.

"Rita, PLEASE. I need ... to find it ..."

Rita was trying to place the mask back on his face and calm him. She pressed a gentle hand against his forehead and spoke calmly.

"Steve, you MUST calm down. This is NOT doing you any good ... What is it that you've lost?"

Finally somebody was listening to him. He stopped struggling momentarily as he tried to explain but the combination of pain and tiredness was making his task even more difficult.

"It ... it was something Jeannie ... put in my hand outside ... It must have fallen somewhere."

Rita worried about the vagueness of Steve's answer and by the amount of extreme angst its loss was generating. Knowing Dr. Lowell quite well, she could tell that he was rapidly losing patience with Steve's lack of cooperation and tried again to calm him.

"Steve, we'll find whatever it was, I promise but you MUST stay still and do what you're instructed for now, ok? It's for the best."

Steve was disappointed by her answer. She didn't understand how important the item Jeannie gave him was. He felt strongly that he could only rest easy when he found it and not one second before. So struggling again against the hands that held him fast, he pleaded desperately.

"NO! No, you don't understand. I HAVE to find it. It must be on the floor somewhere or still in the wheelchair. PLEASE ..."

Rita frowned as she saw Dr. Lowell's face darken and she heard the murmured words he whispered back towards Lisa.

"He's not calming down. He's going to do himself even more damage. Get me a mild sedative Lisa and HURRY!"

Unfortunately Steve heard the word sedative and it only made him struggle all the more.

"No, PLEASE! ... Not a sedative. I just need to find what Jeannie gave me. I'll rest then. I PROMISE!" He yelled again heartrendingly but Dr. Lowell was now prepping a syringe regardless of his words.

Steve tried desperately to wrench the arm that held the cannula away from the restraining hands but Kevin had moved forward under Dr. Lowell's instruction and with the male nurse's bulky size now holding his arm steady he couldn't even budge it as he then saw Dr. Lowell inject the contents of the syringe expertly into this arm. The helplessness of his current situation, compounded by the pain and distress at now being forced to sleep without the comfort of Jeannie's gift to wake up to, Steve felt his emotions fray and his last ounce of resolve broke. Tears began to brim in his eyes as his head shook from side to side and his anguished voice filled the small room and drew all eyes towards him.

"NO! No ... You don't understand ... I ... I need it ... WHY? ... Why won't you listen to me?"

Rita's heart broke for the young man in the bed as Lisa stood looking unsure of what she needed to do to help her patient. They were all visibly alarmed by how distressed he seemed to be and by the alarming beeping of the heart monitor except for Dr. Lowell who remained in purely professional mode throughout, seeing only the purely clinical aspect of Steve's recovery and satisfied now that the drug he had just administered would force the rest required to return the young man's heart rate to a more normal level and allow them to scan the young man's chest without further incident.

"STEVE you are NOT doing yourself any favors by this carry on. Now the more you fight us when we're trying to help you, the longer you are going to be stuck in this Hospital. There's no point in getting upset. It will just make you feel worse. Now the drugs I just gave you will help you relax in a few minutes and then we'll take you down for a scan to see what further damage if any you've done to that chest of yours. Just lie there and relax and we'll get you seen to."

Steve visibly calmed as Dr. Lowell's worrying words sunk in and left him feeling utterly defeated and not listened to. Steve felt the drugs start to cloud his brain and he shivered uncontrollably. More hands came from all around him and he felt heat packs being placed around him and a foil blanket was draped over him making him feel even more claustrophobic than before. As Dr. Lowell issued more instructions to Lisa to go and arrange for the scan to be performed ASAP, Rita scowled at the Senior Consultant and asked Kevin to check the wheelchair and the floor for whatever it was that Steve had lost while she then tried to console the crestfallen young man in the bed.

"Steve, don't be upset. We'll find it, alright? Kevin's helping me look for it right now ... Please don't worry."

Steve's left hand scrambled out of the foil cover and grabbed for Rita's, trying one last time to plead for help as he felt the recently administered drugs begin to dull his senses.

"Rita, can you get Jeannie and Mike? ... Please."

"Don't worry Steve. They'll be back into you soon, I promise. They're just waiting outside."

Steve's heartfelt plea remained in his two green eyes as they stared at her and threatened to roll upwards every so often. Feeling his nervousness and anguish she patted his hand and whispered softly.

"I'll go and see what I can do, ok?"

Rita looked up as Kevin stood back up and shrugged his shoulders as nothing turned up in his search. Replacing the oxygen mask onto his face, she let go of Steve's hand gently and without seeking Dr. Lowell's approval she headed outside hurriedly.

 **Ten minutes earlier :**

Mike sat in the seated, waiting area as Jeannie paced up and down anxiously.

"Sweetheart, he'll be fine. We just have to wait for them to get him settled. Please sit down, will you? Otherwise you're going to dig a trench in that floor."

Mike's attempt at humor was lost on the young woman as she never ceased her pacing but on her next pass, he reached out and clasped her hand.

"JEANNIE! Sit down. Please? You're making me even more nervous than I already am."

Blushing slightly, she sat down reluctantly beside her father but Mike noticed her legs still swung under her chair as if her nerves were getting the better of her. Trying to take both their minds off their worries and concerns, Mike struck up a conversation.

"I ah ... I couldn't help noticing when you were outside with Steve that things seemed to be working out for you two. Did Steve tell you how he felt?"

Jeannie nodded and then despite the worry she felt, the memory of their time outside brought a smile to her face.

"Yes ... He feels the same way about me as I do for him. He ... he told me he loved me. It meant so much to him that you gave us your blessing Daddy. I ... I can't believe how ... how lucky I am ..." Jeannie spoke emotionally, as tears started to fall and she dropped her head into her hands.

Alarmed by her distressed reaction, Mike sidled quickly closer to his daughter and wrapped his arm around her shoulders protectively.

"Hey, hey ... That's supposed to be good news you know? I'm really happy for you both Sweetheart. But ... why the tears?"

Sobbing and accepting Mike's poor overused handkerchief once more gratefully, she wiped at her eyes and spoke in a heartwrenching manner.

"He was in so much pain. And the Doctor said his heart beat was way too fast. He's been through so much these last four weeks. He's suffered horribly and I feel so helpless that I can't make things easier for him. "

Mike squeezed his daughter's shoulder tightly and swallowed hard. He understood completely in more ways than one.

"I know Jeannie. I hate seeing him like this too. It's hard to see someone you love suffering when you can't do anything to ... take their pain away ..."

At that statement Jeannie lifted her tear stained face up to look at her Father and realized that he was not only talking about Steve but also about her Mother.

"Oh Daddy! I didn't mean to bring back those memories for you ..."

"No, no you didn't Jeannie. The truth is since Steve got shot, those feelings have been back more or less all the time anyway. But he's stronger than you give him credit for and ... now well ... now on top of everything else he's got the most beautiful girl in the world to live for. "

Jeannie smiled and with tears glistening in her eyes she threw her arms around Mike's neck and hugged him tight. Mike hugged her back and smiled.

"Well it's true. After your Mother died, it was YOU who kept me going and you sure gave ME one hell of a beautiful reason to live for. I know you'll do the same for Steve. Now stop those tears, ok? Today, you two took a very big step and if I know you both as well as I think I do you've both got a bright and happy future ahead of you to look forward to. That's what you have to concentrate on now. And that's what you need to keep showing Steve to get him through this, alright? Just having you back here has helped him a great deal and even your stubborn old man can see that."

Jeannie pulled back and wiped once more at her eyes and smiled even wider.

"Yes ... yes you're right. You always are. "

Then as she dried her tears again, she thought about earlier and tentatively asked her next question.

"But what about you Daddy?"

Mike looked confused for a second or two before answering.

"What about me?"

"Do ... do you get a second chance at happiness too?"

Mike blushed and remembered what Steve had told him a short while before about her seeing him kiss Rita.

"Oh ... You saw me and Rita, huh?"

Jeannie just nodded so Mike felt he needed to explain. Flustering awkwardly, he responded.

"Look Jeannie, I meant to talk to you about that but ... well you had your own issues with Steve and with everything else that was going on, I ... well I didn't want you to be upset and think that I was trying to replace your Mother because you know nobody really ever could but ..."

Seeing her Father so tongue tied and uncomfortable, Jeannie interrupted to rescue him.

"Daddy, I would never think that. You ... you really like Rita, don't you?"

Mike stared at his daughter and then smiled.

"Yes. Yes Sweetheart I really do. I mean it's been very sudden and well we only met each other a couple of days ago but we have a lot in common and she makes me smile and well I enjoy her company ... I ... I miss company like that. I mean please, don't get me wrong because you and Steve give me all the love and company I ever need but ... but I miss that closeness and ... and now I'm talking rubbish again ... " he ended downheartedly as he dropped his head to stare awkwardly at his lap but Jeannie reached out and grabbed his arm.

"No. No, you're not. I understand and ... and I'm happy for you too Daddy."

Mike looked back up at those words and felt his own emotions fray too.

"You are? You're not just saying that because I gave you my blessing with Steve are you? Because if you really don't approve I'd really rather you tell me the truth ..."

"That IS the truth. I like Rita. I think she seems like a very nice and kindhearted person and I think you two would make a very nice couple. I want for you the same as you always want for me and that's to simply be happy."

Mike cleared his throat as the emotions became too raw and nodded gratefully.

"That means a lot to me Sweetheart. Thank you. It's different for me and Rita than you and Steve. You two are just starting out and you have your whole lives ahead of you. Me and Rita well, we've already been around the block a time or two. We've both already met the love of our lives and spent many wonderful years with them and then ... well we've both had our hearts broken by their loss. Maybe we'll just develop a companionable friendship or maybe it might develop into something more but I do know that I'd like to see where it goes. Your blessing would mean a lot to me too."

"Then you have it! Completely and with all my heart Daddy."

The two hugged again and stayed holding hands until unmerciful yells suddenly erupted from Steve's room and they both stood up in horror.

"Daddy, that's STEVE! "

She turned to run down towards his room but Mike grabbed her from behind and restrained her.

"Jeannie honey, you can't just go barging in there. He's in pain. They're trying to help him. As much as I want to charge in there too we HAVE to let them do their job. Rita will come get us if we're needed. "

Jeannie slumped back against her Father at his words and he felt her upset as more tortured shouts came from Steve's room.

"Daddy, what's going on? He sounds upset."

She felt Mike's arms tremble around her as he too disliked the despairing sounds coming from Steve's room and then they heard Dr. Lowell's voice loud and urgent. As they both stood anxiously watching the door to Steve's room with increasing agitation, Rita came hurrying out towards them. Rushing forward to meet her, Jeannie spoke first.

"RITA! What's happening? Is he alright?"

"Jeannie, he says he's lost something you gave him. He's very upset about it. What was it you gave him?"

At those words Jeannie got even more upset as Mike looked on none the wiser.

"Oh my God! It was the picture I had earlier. The small photo of the two of us. He NEEDS it! We have to find it." Jeannie exclaimed, understanding from her and Steve's earlier conversation how devastating it was for him to lose it.

"He NEEDS it? Why?" Mike asked not understanding why Steve would get so upset about losing a simple photo.

"I'll explain later Daddy. But right now we have to find it first."

"It's not in the wheelchair or in his room, we've checked. He got himself in such a state over it that Dr. Lowell insisted on sedating him. We need to find it soon to return it to him and settle him down before the drugs put him under. Jeannie, where had he got it last?"

"He had it coming up in the elevator. I'm sure of it! " she announced positively.

"Then he must have lost it between the elevator and here." Mike piped up racing back along the corridor towards the main double doors, searching the floor as he went, Rita and Jeannie both racing after him. There was nothing to be seen so as Rita went to ask the new shift nurse at the Reception desk if she had spotted anything or picked anything up, Mike raced out through the Double doors and outside into the corridor. He didn't have to go far when he spotted the photo booth picture lying on the floor. Remembering the day it was taken nostalgically, he quickly bent and picked it up and rushed back inside to the others, waving it triumphantly.

"I FOUND it! It was just outside."

Jeannie sighed heavily with relief and took it gratefully off Mike and raced towards Rita.

"Rita, Mike found it. Please, you have to put it in his right hand and curl his fist around it. It MUST stay there until he wakes up later. It's VERY important ... And PLEASE tell him I ... I love him very much."

Rita smiled and taking the photo from Jeannie, she clasped Jeanne's hand reassuringly.

"Don't worry. I'll tell him. "

Mike stepped forward and placed his arm around Jeannie, smiling gratefully at Rita as he did as they both watched her hurry back to Steve's room and disappear inside. Steve was lying flat, his head sideways against the pillow, his eyes closed. The clumsy oxygen mask had been replaced by a more efficient nasal cannula. Dr. Lowell was at the end of the bed writing into Steve's chart and Lisa was adjusting the foil blanket around her patient. Kevin appeared to have left the room. Steve's heart rate had slowed and was now beating at a more acceptable pace and things in the small room had calmed considerably. Rita hurried forward and spoke to Lisa.

"Is he under yet?"

"Almost. He's much more settled but he's still a little uneasy. We're taking him down shortly for his scan as soon as he's fully under the influence of the sedative."

Rita nodded and watched as Lisa was called by Dr. Lowell and she went to speak with him at the end of Steve's bed. Hurrying forward Rita leaned down to speak to Steve quietly.

"Steve? STEVE?"

Steve eyes fluttered open several times but each time they did they closed again quickly as if they were just too heavy to keep open. Rita reached over and lifted the foil cover exposing his right arm. She opened his right hand and placed the small photograph into it carefully before closing his hand around it. The movement seemed to stir something somewhere in Steve's very last tentative grip on consciousness and Rita smiled as she saw his fingers attempt to hold the item she had placed in his hand. His eyes opened again, staying open this time as if he was making one last ditch attempt to keep them open as long as he could. His slurred voice followed as his unfocused eyes tried desperately to see who was beside him.

"Jea ... nnie?"

Rita leaned in so that her face was just inches from Steve to help him focus and she spoke softly.

"No Steve, it's Rita. But we found what you lost. It's back safely in your hand and Jeannie told me to tell you that she loves you very much. After you've had your scan and you're back in your room we'll get both her and Mike back in to sit with you. Everything's ok now."

Steve's eyes drifted closed as her words ended and she saw the lids fluttering and swore she saw his bottom lip trembling. One solitary tear escaped from his left eye and dropped onto his pillow as his eyes once more forced open just half way. Rita saw his lips move and lip read the silent words "thank you" as she saw a second tear follow the first. Feeling her own eyes tear up, she placed a hand on his cheek and wiped his tears away with her hand.

"You're welcome. Sleep easy now. They're going to take you down for your scan soon but Jeannie and Mike will be here when you wake up, ok?"

Rita saw the barely noticeable nod as his eyes closed and a thin, fragile smile played about his lips as this time his eyes stayed closed. Rita stayed watching him and felt him visibly relax as the drugs pulled him under. Lisa returned from her chat with Dr. Lowell and grinned at Rita as she noticed something hidden in Steve's grip.

"You found it?"

Rita nodded.

"Yes, it was a photograph. He must have dropped it as he was being pushed in the wheelchair from the elevator to CCU. Jeannie gave it to me and asked if you could make sure it stays in his hand until he wakes up. We don't want him getting upset like that if it goes missing again, now do we?"

"Don't worry. I'll make sure it stays put. You know Rita your shift ended over an hour ago now. You should probably get home and grab some shuteye. I'll take good care of him, I PROMISE! Now GO. You must be exhausted. " Lisa stated amicably as she then turned to lift Steve's right arm and place the thermometer under there again.

Rita straightened back up and suddenly felt the tiredness that Lisa had spoken about in every sinew and muscle. It had been a long shift and while the worry of the morning and her need to find and get her patient safely back to CCU had temporarily made her forget her weariness, now that he was back and safe, she felt more exhausted than ever. Rubbing at her aching shoulders, she smiled at her colleague and spoke wearily

"You know sometimes I feel that maybe I'm getting too old for all this." Then lowering her tone to a hushed whisper she added. "Especially when I start losing patients and making the Boss mad!"

Lisa chuckled and then answered.

"Oh come on. You love all this. Besides ... CCU wouldn't be the same without you Rita. AND what would any of us do without you? "

Rita smiled gratefully at the young nurse and then looked back at Steve once more before turning to leave.

"Ok Lisa. He's in your hands now. See you later."

"Don't worry. I've got this. Sleep well Rita."

Rita nodded gratefully and went to leave but as she passed Dr. Lowell, he flustered and cleared his throat.

"Ah Rita ... I know your shift is over but ... could I have a really quick word with you please?"


	36. Chapter 36

**A Promise Kept**

 **A/N; Just a short chapter as promised to keep the story progressing towards its conclusion.**

Chapter 36

Rita nodded but felt an uneasiness in her stomach as the Doctor drew her to one side. Before a reprimand was forthcoming Rita spoke bravely.

"Dr. Lowell, I take full responsibility for Mr. Keller going missing. He was under my care and after the earlier incident where I was informed he tried to leave I should have been more in tune with how he was feeling and kept a closer eye on him. I accept whatever disciplinary action you deem necessary as a result ..."

Dr. Lowell couldn't help but smile as he heard his most Senior nurse's words. He blushed slightly and cleared his throat.

"Actually, I WAS going to apologize for being so abrupt with you just now. It wasn't your fault. The Unit is substantially understaffed and overworked and well ... it's been a long few days of surgeries and I ... well I guess I overreacted. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. Your work ethic in this Unit is exemplary and we have many very happy patients who will testify to that fact. Steve here is a tough case. He won't allow people to help him as readily as others and his stubbornness frustrates me quite frankly. But that being said ... he's been found and we have him stabilized for now and I see no reason to take the matter any further. Your actions in trying to find him couldn't be faulted and I hope you won't allow my sometimes overbearing nature to take away from the fact that you are a very indispensable asset to this Unit. Forgive me for being an old goat, my old friend? Bob would have had my butt in a sling for even daring to speak to you like that ... I really miss him sometimes, you know ... ah ... I can't even begin to imagine how much you miss him."

Rita smiled warmly and despite the aches and pains coursing unmercifully through her tired shoulders and legs and the heartbreak his words had reminded her of, she took the hand of the Senior Consultant, that he had openly proffered, as he stood before her and shook it warmly.

"Of course. We all get a little tired and stressed around here from time to time. Besides ... while retirement some days sounds like heaven to these old and tired bones, I'd miss this place too much and even you Patrick ... Even when you are being an old goat!" she added playfully, which brought the first smile and chuckle to the Doctor's face since they had arrived back up with Steve a while ago.

"Ah that's what I love about you Rita. You never let me get away with anything or get fazed like some, by my stature here. You could say you keep me grounded Rita. Now what would happen to me if you weren't here to do that, huh?"

"You'd probably be insufferable and Cecilia, that poor wife of yours would have even more to contend with" she teased back.

"See! You're absolutely right. So for everyone's sake, you had better stick around and keep me in my place. Go home and get some sleep Rita. We'll take Steve from here. Lisa? Let's get Kevin back in here. As soon as word comes from the Scan room, I want to get Keller up for his scan STAT" He added, before nodding warmly at his Senior nurse and heading back to check on Steve as Lisa left the room in search of Kevin.

Rita rolled her tired shoulders and then remembered Mike and Jeannie. They must be worried sick. So she hurried off out of Steve's room and headed down to where she saw them standing anxiously watching Steve's door. Just as she had expected, Mike was standing with his arm clasped around his daughter's shoulders and he seemed to be trying to comfort her. On seeing Rita emerge they headed towards her, their worry palpable. Raising a hand in hasty reassurance, she uttered quickly.

"He's fine for now. Don't worry. He quietened after we returned the photo and he seemed a lot easier when I gave him your message Jeannie."

Rita could see Jeannie's facial expression change before her eyes from one of worry to relief and gratitude and at the same time, she saw Mike grasp her shoulder tighter, his own expression easing a good deal also.

"Oh thank God! Is he still in a lot of pain? ... Can we see him yet?" Jeannie stammered anxiously.

"No, the painkillers have kicked in now and he's not in any pain at the minute but I'm afraid you won't be allowed in to see him just yet. He has to go up for his scan soon but when he gets back and they have him settled, I'm sure they'll let you in. I'll leave word with Lisa to let you know as soon as you can."

"Thank you Rita ... for everything. You've truly been a Godsend" Jeannie gushed, as she saw Mike then looking closely at the kindly nurse and smiled to herself at his admiring expression.

"Jeannie's right. You've been terrific. But I hope you don't get into trouble with Dr. Lowell. He didn't seem too pleased about the whole thing earlier. Will there be any unpleasant consequences for you because of what happened?"

Rita smiled at Mike's obvious concern, touched that he truly cared about what might happen.

"No, everything will be fine, Mike. Dr. Lowell can be a little menacing sometimes and truthfully, I think he likes it that way. It keeps the staff on their toes but ... well him and his wife Cecilia were close friends of mine and my late husband Bob's, so we go back a long way. He was just letting off steam, that's all. "

Mike sighed and smiled wider.

"Oh I'm glad ... You look tired. Shoulders at you again?"

Rita rubbed at her shoulder absentmindedly as she responded.

"When are they not these days?" she said laughing then she saw Mike's face grow worried again. "Mike? What's wrong?"

"This scan Rita. Do you think it could show up anything serious?"

Rita placed a reassuring hand on Mike's arm.

"No ... No I don't think so. He could have jolted the wires holding his sternum together when he stumbled on the stairs and as a result some internal bruising could be causing the pain he's experiencing. That would be my opinion anyway."

"Whats the worst case scenario?"

"Well I don't think there's any need to be negative just yet until we see what the scan shows up ... "

"Rita please? I just need to know what we could be up against?"

Rita heard Mike's heartfelt plea and her face darkened slightly.

"I do honestly believe it is probably just some bruising but at worst he could have a small internal bleed or jolted the repair to his heart, especially as he's not long over the angiogram procedure. But I really wouldn't worry about that just yet ... He would have proved harder to stabilize had either of those things been to blame for the pain he's in. "

Mike's face paled visibly.

"Internal bleed? ... Would he ... need more surgery then?"

"Possibly but MIKE, please trust me will you? I really don't believe that's the case here and I WOULD tell you if I felt it could be. Look Mike, I think maybe we had better give breakfast a miss. I understand that you need to be here with Jeannie and then Steve later on. We can take a rain check on the breakfast some other time."

Mike flustered as he looked from Rita to Jeannie and then back again. He had been so looking forward to joining Rita for an intimate breakfast over his favorite chilli dish but he also knew that she was right. He would only spend it worrying about Steve and Jeannie and he felt his rightful place was with them until any possible danger had passed. He couldn't just leave them both to finally have his first official date with Rita. As a sad and disappointed expression crossed his face, he forced a smile at the kindly nurse.

"I appreciate the understanding. I do hope you'll keep your word about that rain check though" he added hopefully.

As Rita and Mike stood smiling at each other and the disappointment of their missed breakfast date stood out so clearly on both their faces beneath the forced smiles, Jeannie piped up between them.

"Nonsense! You two run along and have breakfast together as you had planned to. I'm a big girl now Mike. I CAN stay by myself for a while you know? And I'll keep an eye on Steve for the both of us. Just let me know which place you're going to and if there's anything you need to know, I'll call you. Now don't just stand there. Here ..." she instructed firmly, holding his over coat open so he could slip his arms through and then hoisting it up onto his shoulders in one fell swoop. Then she handed him his fedora and smiled warmly, as she saw his stunned expression as she then leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Are ... are you sure?"

"YES ... I'm SURE. Now don't leave the lady waiting Mike. We'll see you later."

Mike looked gratefully and proudly at his daughter and a lump formed in his throat at her thoughtfulness. He gripped her in a tight hug and whispered in her ear as he did.

"Thanks Sweetheart. You're one in a million, you know that? "

Jeannie smiled and whispered back.

"I should know it by now, with the amount of times you always tell me. Now go and ... seize that second chance, ok?"

She felt Mike tremble in her arms at her words and knew how much they meant to him. He released her and she saw the faint moisture glistening in his eyes.

"Ok ... I ... I will. "

Watching the touching and tender father daughter moment play out before her eyes, Rita was loathe to interrupt but seeing Mike struggling with the parting, she softly touched his arm and spoke to Jeannie warmly.

"We'll be just down the block in Mo's diner. It's not far. The Nurse at Reception will get you the number for it, if you need to contact your Dad."

Jeannie returned the smile.

"Thanks. That's fine. Now run along you two and enjoy and ... maybe bring me back something nice?" she added to break the tension.

Mike grabbed Jeannie's hand and squeezed it before releasing it to clasp Rita's instead.

"Count on it. You'll call me now ... if there's anything wrong?"

Jeannie grinned and pushed him gently towards the door and towards Rita.

"Yes. I promise. Now GO!"

Mike finally allowed himself a faint grin and then let Rita guide him away towards the other side of the Unit casting one last guilty look back at his daughter, before she disappeared from sight, as he went.

"I just have to get my coat and bag. I shan't be a minute Mike."

"Sure, take your time." Mike added politely but Rita sensed his misgivings. " Mike, I meant it you know? I do understand if you need to be here with Steve and Jeannie. We can have breakfast some other time, if you prefer?"

Mike looked once more back over his shoulder and suddenly felt torn between where he felt he should stay and where he wanted to go. He didn't want to mess up this chance to be with Rita and yet his family needed him. Seeing his reluctance to answer and his palpable conscience struggle, Rita spoke softly.

"Mike, I know being here with your family is important and I respect you for that. I won't hold it against you, you know? But for what it's worth, I feel that Jeannie has this under control. She truly loves that young man in there and I've seen first hand before how well she takes care of him. I genuinely believe they'll be ok for an hour while you get something to eat. But it's your choice and I'll fully respect what ever choice you make."

Mike processed her words and thought about them carefully. His apprehension lifted as he remembered how Jeannie had coped quite sufficiently with Steve's condition all by herself when he hadn't been around as much after the shooting. This time he would only be gone for a very short amount of time. He was however very touched by Rita's understanding and wanted even more to spend the next hour or so with the nurse who was becoming so strangely even more important to him with each passing day. Finally allowing himself a smile, he boldly stepped forward and snaked his hands around Rita's waist and pulled her closer to him, much to Rita's sudden surprise.

"You're absolutely right. Jeannie is one of the strongest young women I know and I shouldn't doubt her. And I well ... I really want to spend some time with you Rita ... and I'm also very grateful that you WANT to spend some time with an old dithering, worry guts like me too."

Rita gasped at their initial closeness and then recovering her senses a little, she blushed and reached her hands up to curve around his neck and placed a sincere and tender kiss on his lips, smiling even more as she felt him tremble as she did.

"Mike Stone. You are NOT a dithering, worry guts! You are a very sweet and caring man and I want to spend A LOT more time with you BUT ... you're going to have to let me go for now so I can get my things ... " she added playfully.

Mike never moved at first but swallowed hard and stammered almost breathlessly.

"Do I ... have to? I ... I kind of like holding you like this."

Rita laughed and kissed him again, this time feeling his lips move more against her own. Pulling back and placing a gentle almost restraining finger against his lips, she added, sounding equally unnerved by the strong feelings that this charming man was awakening in her.

"I'm afraid so. We have the next hour to talk and get to know each other a little better and if you behave yourself, I'll even let you hold my hand as we walk there ..."

Mike laughed and gently but reluctantly released his hold on the kindly nurse. Straightening himself and blushing slightly from his uncharacteristic forwardness, he chuckled and dropped his head in acceptance.

"You have yourself a deal. I ... I'm sorry if I was out of line ... I just ..."

Again Rita pressed her finger gently to his lips, stopping his stuttered apology midway.

"Don't Mike. You don't have to be sorry for anything. I like you holding me like that too but ... I just think that maybe we should take things just a little slower for now, ok? This is all maybe moving a little too fast for both of us and you have an uncanny effect on me that I can't quite put into words. I just want us to do everything right and not rush things and spoil something that I feel could so easily become something quite wonderful given half the chance. Do you ... understand?"

Mike smiled and nodded.

"Yes, I do and I know exactly what you mean and I'm fine with that too, believe me. I am a VERY understanding kind of guy."

"Yes you are Mike Stone ... Yes ... you ARE!" she stated admiringly, then catching her breath she turned and pushed the door in front of her open and spoke over her shoulder pleasantly " I won't be long. "

Mike watched as she disappeared into the small staff room and he sat down outside and waited. True to her words, she reappeared minutes later with her coat on and her handbag slung over her arm. Holding out his arm for her to take, he smiled as she latched on agreeably and they headed together out of the CCU.

Jeannie paced a little after Mike and Rita had gone from view, merely to quell her anxiety about Steve's scan and to keep her mind from thinking too much about it. She was glad that her father had gone with Rita. She hadn't seen her Father so smitten with anyone in a long time. Not since his relationship with Irene Martin but sadly that had not turned out as they had both hoped it would. Almost resulting in marriage their engagement had been short lived as both of them realized that while they cared for each other a great deal, a marital relationship would not have worked. Irene and her father were destined to just remain very close friends and she had been saddened at the time that Mike wasn't going to be blessed with someone else to make his life complete. Now he just might have another chance and this time she hoped beyond hope that it would have a better outcome than the last one.

Her thoughts soon turned back to Steve and she began to wish that they would just let her see him for herself so that she could see with her own eyes that he was ok. She knew that if she could just see him, that she would feel better. After a few more minutes passed, she sank into the guest chair at the wall and leaning forward she dropped her head into her hands wearily. The sound of a woman's footsteps drew her attention back up the corridor and she saw Lisa approaching her. Standing back up anxiously she studied the young nurse's face intently and sighed again as a reassuring smile lit up the young nurse's face.

"Hi Jeannie. We're just waiting on the Scan room to call and tell us when they're ready for Steve. I thought that maybe you'd like to see him for just a minute before he goes up. He's very much out of it. To be honest I doubt he'll even know you're there but ... well I just thought that maybe you'd like to still sit with him for a while rather than out here on your own."

Jeannie was very touched by the Nurse's kindness. As a lump manifested in her throat she merely nodded and stammered gratefully.

"I'd like that very much ... Thank you ..."

As she spoke to Lisa, she saw Dr. Lowell and Kevin leave Steve's room briefly and she followed Lisa back in there. As she walked through the door she gasped and held her mouth as she got the first glimpse of Steve from the doorway. He was lying very still, his head flopped to his left side on the pillow, a nasal cannula that hadn't been there before now curved above his upper lip, the two tubes from it entering his nose. The heart monitor was beating a steady rhythm and there were various wires and tubes leading under a foil blanket covering his chest and arms. Lisa reached over as she approached the bed and pulled the foil blanket briefly down from his chest to check the cannula in his upper right arm. Seeing Steve's chest exposed, Jeannie sighed heavily as she saw the long angry looking scar still standing out so starkly against his pale skin, the recently restitched part standing out even more pronounced than the rest, where the infection had previously taken hold. Jeannie edged closer towards the bed, her hand desperately wanting to reach out and touch him, yet hesitating for fear of upsetting a wire or a tube that was currently doing vital work. She watched as Lisa tenderly adjusted the cannula in his arm, causing the blanket to fall even more down away from his body and used the opportunity to get a look at his right hand that still held the photo they had returned to him and she purposefully reached over and curled his lifeless fingers around it a little more just in case he lost it again. Lisa saw her and sensing her concern she piped up sweetly.

"Don't worry! I'll make sure he doesn't lose it again during his scan."

Jeannie smiled her gratitude to Lisa and then as the nurse returned the foil blanket up around her patient, she moved even more forward and leaned over Steve to study his face. His eyes were closed, not even a flicker evident from them. She so badly needed to see his green eyes and how his smiles made them sparkle and light up. She watched his lips so dry looking now and remembered how they had felt brushed lovingly against hers not so long ago.

"You CAN touch him you know?" Lisa encouraged kindly. "I know he looks fragile at the minute but I can assure you he won't break."

Jeannie chuckled nervously and finally plucked up the courage to reach her shaking hand across to lie against his exposed cheek. It felt chilled compared to the other one that was flushed from its time against the warm pillow. She stroked it gently and leaned across to whisper in his right ear.

"Hey Babe ... It's Jeannie. I'm right here with you. Everything's going to be fine. They're going to take you somewhere for a quick scan and when you get back I'm going to be with you again. I ... I love you so much. You have to do what they tell you from now on. Do you hear me? I want you back on track so we can start planning our life together. I need you Steve every bit as much as you need me and there's nothing we can't deal with together. I'm sure of it! You have to stop being so stubborn and let us all help you. I've got enough strength for the both of us right now and when you're better, we'll face everything else together hand in hand ... " She reached her other hand down to curl around his left hand as she spoke "... and side by side ..."

A solitary tear escaped her left eye and trickled slowly down her left cheek as she spoke so emotionally. When not even a single sign came from Steve in any shape or form that he had heard her, she dropped her face to lean her cheek against his and swallowed back the other tears that threatened to follow the first as she did. She had to stay strong for him just like she had just promised and so she cleared her throat and stayed pressed against his cheek, feeling it slowly warm up beneath hers. As she took comfort from their limited closeness, a sudden movement from Steve's hand in hers made her look down towards their entwined hands. A very slight, barely detectable movement made her gasp as she felt a definite attempt by Steve to squeeze her hand. It lasted barely a few seconds and then it stopped but it was all the sign she needed to feel strong again. Lifting her cheek from his she moved across and kissed him gently on the lips as her voice gained strength and volume.

"That's right Steve Keller. You and me together will be a force to be reckoned with. Adversity doesn't stand a chance!"

Dr. Lowell and Kevin arrived into the room just then in a hurry and amid more barked instructions that Steve was to be moved STAT, Lisa leaned over and touched Jeannie's shoulder.

"He has to go now but you can wait in here for him to come back if you like? He shouldn't be more than a half hour but I'll let you know if there is any change to that, ok?"

Jeannie smiled back at Lisa and then turned and whispered back into Steve's ear.

"They're taking you away from me now but you be strong Keller, ok? I'll be right here waiting for you when you get back. "

With those words and after one more tortuous one sided kiss that she longed for his lips to respond to, she reluctantly let go of Steve's hand and watched as Kevin and Lisa pushed his bed silently out of the room. Then sitting down in the visitor's chair, she leaned her head back wearily and waited for his return.


End file.
